#WAIT MY MOM ALSO SAID THAT WHEN I WEAR MASC CLOTHES I LOOK LIKE HER. WHA.WHAT DOES THAT MEAN--

[caramelmochacrow]

number one thing that i hate translating tagalog to english is that i cant show the intricacies in speech.

like. the word tomboy. it means a WHOLE OTHER THING IN TAGALOG. i've apparently been called a lesbian almost my entire life and i didn't know. that or my mom used the english meaning in context rather than tagalog when i was a kid then used the tagalog meaning when i got older.

i love intricacies in language, dont you?

[rainbow-frogz]

AHHHH I think im gonna explode. Long rant ahead. (Not really a vent, just ranting)

I was just talking to my mother about my friends birthday party sleepover thing next weekend and she was like who all else is coming and I was like me, (friend), and (friends friend who we were just talking about who is gay) and she was like huh?

And I was like yeah. What’s the problem? And she like when erre you gonna tell me this. And I was like well idk like what’s the deal, i don’t get it. And she whispers, well he’s a boy. And im like ohhhh, yeah, he’s trans. And my moms like really confused. And she’s like, what was he born with.

And like mother, I have only ever spoke of him with he/him pronouns, his preferred masc name, and just said he is trans. He is a transgender boy. So right I tell her what he was born with and my moms like oh thank god. Wait. So he’s “trans” (yes she put it in air quotes) and he’s gay, so he likes men. And im like, yeah? And she’s like, so he’s straight. And me not wanting to get into a conversation about this with my mom again, especially with my dad in the room, just decide to go for looking confused.

And she’s like, do you get it? They (yes she decided to convert to using they/them for the rest of the conversation) were born a girl and like men, so they are straight. And my dad pipes up and is like, haha there’s no need to complicate it. And im just like, yeah sure please dont make me pretend to agree with you again, can we be done.

So this goes on for a little bit longer and she’s like, i dont think you get it. I understand that you guys are just trying to figure yourselves out, but you can be a tomboy, and wear more boyish clothes, and get a masculine haircut, and prefer to be called a more masculine name or a shorter version of your name. That’s okay.

And im just like, yeah im aware mom, but he is a boy. He identifies as a boy, not a masculine girl, so I am going to call him a boy, but y’know whatever, I’ll just nod along complacently.

AND THEN she goes, what are you? And im like ‘panik panik’ and I say “a girl. I am a human being” and she’s just like, okay, well what do you like. And im like haha I get to be smart and I say “no one” and she’s like, well do you like boys or girls (im pretty sure my mom thinks im either bi or a lesbian, but she wont ask straightforward so im pretending not to notice) so I go “neither” and she’s like, well do you just not feel it or not care, and im like huh? What doth thou mean.

And she goes well not feeling it would be not feeling any attraction or sexual tension or any attraction at all to any one and not caring would be that you just dont care if they’re a boy or a girl.

But like, how do I explain that its both?? Cause like, i dont feel any sort of sexual attraction, but I am also omniromantic (technically omni oriented aromantic, but were not gonna get into that) but there is also no way im hell that im coming out rn so I just go “ohh, that makes sense. Yeah I just think i dont feel it at all” which honestly, I’ve come out as ace countless times but i havent actually said im ace, I’ve basically said im the definition of ace but now I’ve basically also told her im aro, which i am, but like, I would still date people, cause im omni and now she would get weird probably if I did date someone.

That was a lot, but I just needed to say it somewhere. Sorry, for wasting your time, if you read this.