#We won't talk about the electric bill tho...

[sanguineposhrat]

The feeling of getting to the end of paying off a really big debt OMG. We finished months ago but the fear of getting hit with something else huge is crazy.

Just clearing through everything else that's fallen away this year is like watching the last manky bathwater go down the drain. Smells like the sludge at the bottom of a water-butt.

Lots of people's names to forget out here.

[beelzlikes]

My electricity is out and I requested time off work for mental health day cause fuck this.

Honestly, fuck this. I don't WANT to work I don't want to go to a different branch. Yesterday was fiiiiiine but I don't want to do it again. I don't like having to wake up and go work for someone else. I'm only making $18 an hour which is NOT enough to cover my bills.

And things are only going to get worse, with how the American government is going. The thing I hate the most is that wealth is being gatekept from me, not just from capitalism and its intentional setbacks.

My parents are millionaires. They sit on that money and go on cruises and buy a new car every year because they can. They're not shy about telling me that it is THEIR money, they EARNED it. They are not going to give me a cent unless I can justify it to them. Other people who have wealthy parents get to have whatever they want, but I can't even talk to them about money.

Last year I sat down with them and explained: "I'm suicidal. I am willing to work a part-time job, I just want like maybe a year of financial help so I can resolve at least some of my issues." And my dad goes "Well you definitely can't support yourself on a part time job."

Silence... I literally feel my heart drop into my stomach as I sat there and realized he wasn't listening. The idea that he would give me money to live off of for a year was so foreign to him he couldn't even comprehend it, it didn't even enter his brain. He thought I was asking for advice on how to get a part time job when in reality I was begging him to help me not kill myself.

And I was just like yeah whatever. And I haven't asked them for money since. The one thing they have that is guaranteed to help me, they refuse to give. And they're always asking "how can we help how can we help?" How about a million dollars, huh? I'd be set for LIFE, pay off my home, buy a new dishwasher, plant a garden, some new sheets and pillows for my bed, things that are right now so far beyond me.

I'm delinquent and behind on everything, I have no money to my name, my parents think I hate them even tho I just resent the fact that they could literally snap their fingers and solve my most major problems and yet they won't. And why? Why? Cause I didn't ask right?? Cause you think I don't deserve it??

I'll scrounge up the last of money so I can hire a friend to come to my funeral and ask my parents: "So... how much money would you have paid to keep him from killing himself?"

[bookmunchies]

Caved in on getting a service industry job, in the middle of a fucking pandemic, even tho I'm high risk, bcs the pay was 1k, aka more than double the min wage (450) -which itself was recently doubled (200 smth) for the first time since the dawn of the planet- bcs the kind of money I could earn till oct would be crazy, for this country.

Even tho some of the demands were on the crazy side -no sit no phone, lie like ur a politician- the good was 6h shifts with 1 day off, an apartment 5mins away from the shop to live in for me and my sister -cause we both got in- with the possibility of another person joining later in the summer. Sounds great right?

Well, ofc it does, cause it was a lie. The pay was min wage, the apartment was not within stari grad but basically the outskirts tho that in itself is not really far away considering the size of the town. It had 6 ppl in it and the real possibility they would cram more in, even tho it was a size for 4 max, a broken shower which felt like it was gonna give under me and I'm 45kg so I don't know how the others managed to live with it. Not to mention, the bills were not payed for, and the electricity was insane, like 3 ppl paying 150 -bcs there were only 3 during the winter- when my 5person family pays 80 tops, and that's with the debt added on to the actual number. And the 6h shifts? They were 5 and an unpayed half hour one day, 7 and a half on another and then a 12h one to finish up. They even had the workers do double 12h shifts bcs of lack of ppl last year and we're supposed to trust that aint' happening this time?

What did they think? We'd stay for this scam if they kept mentioning the magical % which would really up the pay after the ssn starts, 2 months from now? When the max august of last year brought the worker with the highest sales was 700 which included russians, who make up the biggest tourist numbers, and are the big money spenders in the store, which ain't happening this year. Not to mention the majority owner being a russian who owns souvenir shops in more countries, and produces souvenirs with an entire wall being especially catered to russian clientele and entirely filled with overpriced different kinds of russian santas, which seem cheap to them bcs they have even more insane prices in Russia, and you're told to lie thru your teeth to other tourists about that being Sveti Nikola and that they're displayed in houses during the entire year bcs they 'protect sailors' or some other such bull. What a fucking lie, we don't even have santa here!! Santa comes for new year and I had no idea he was a Christmas thing till idk hs, we had Bozic bata and he leaves a gift in your shoes. Even christmas trees are not really Christmas, it's badnjak that's Christmas. A truly bizarre case of reverse cultural appropriation, in which a rich person is using their country's culture to make money, in a different country, by having min wage workers lie. No matter how you say there's gon be a lot of ships this year, if most of the ppl who buy the stupid expensive shit aka santas and ikone are russians who won't really be coming this summer, does that really matter? The only other thing that's mad expensive, are the ugliest fucking gusle I have ever seen, just the worst piece of work you can imagine, and big ships, and neither really sell, like at all.

Came back home the next day. Like, at least it all came out on the first night, and I didn't lose that much effort. The one good thing that came from sharing an apartment with other ppl who work or are on their probni rad, they did not hold back. Even told us we were lucky to not be put in the apartment that was within stari grad, bcs that one had 10ppl, and from what I heard during that day's shift -jer sam bila na obuci- that apartment didn't even have running water, and smn who just moved in there talked to another employee who is originally from the town, if there's anyone they know who can odvrne ventil.