#What did the kriff did you just kriffing say to me you little bitch? I'll have you know that I'm-

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

In honor of the very annoying spam/scam call I just got, here's a random thought I had as a result of being interrupted in the middle of running errands when it's 115°F outside.

Tech would be the best/worst person you could possibly call by accident or try to scam, respectively.

On the subject of wrong-number calls

Dependent on what he's in the middle of, I can see Tech stopping, kindly explaining they have the wrong comm frequency, and then doing one of the following:

Being helpful- "I'm afraid this is not the number for the parts store. But... Might I recommend their competitor? Oftentimes there are more selections in their capacitors than the store that shows up highest in results from the Holonet. ... Yes you are quite welcome."

Being very helpful- "... You're doing an academic project on Aiwhas? How much would you like to know? I have researched them quite extensively, I would be happy to assist!"

He's not gonna have the heart to tell someone he's not their grandson. He'll chat with them briefly before saying he has to go and then he'll promptly find a way to get in contact with who this "Ms. Helios on Tattooine" meant to call and let them know that their grandmother could use a visit.

Shut up, it was the polite thing to do.

On the subject of scam calls

Oh boy, this one he could have fun with. You're going to waste his valuable time? (And he's in a mood now that you've thrown off his groove? He was in the middle of a helmet repair and recalibration!)

He might hang up on them.

He might give it to Crosshair to deal with once he's sure he is not about to curse out some poor kid below legal galactic age.

Tech might call them out on their banthashit if he's in a Mood™. "I've been tracking your location as we speak. You are calling from the lower levels of Courasaunt, which is nowhere near Florrum. Nor am I anywhere near Florrum. In fact , I'm-"

Hunter's shouting from the front of the Maurader to just hang up and go back to sleep!

[thoselittleboats]

transcript

I don't know if this has been done yet? Luthen version of the Navy Seal Copypasta happy (early) Andor-versary! I'm shitposting for real now:

What the kriff did you just kriffing ask, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Rebel Navy, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the Empire, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in guerrilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire Alliance armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the kriff out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this planet, mark my kriffing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me? Think again, kriffer. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the galaxy and you’re being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, mudscuffer. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're kriffing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Alliance military and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the galaxy, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your kriffing tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're kriffing dead, kiddo.