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gsmatthews95 · 6 years

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Sun, sea and shithead

Hello moto. Another very... Out there title eh? It is that time again. I am here and I have lots of news for you. By lots I mean, quite little really but I have to blog before I get to the black mountain?? What is this black mountain I speak of? Ah for those Spanish speaking whizzes reading this you'll know the translation of this is Montenegro. The country. You know? You've probs heard very little of it. I know literally nothing but it is a country I am excited for and Alina has been itching to visit for months. We are literally quaking in our boots in anticipation of maybe the greatest country in the world. Ok maybe it won't be the best but expectations are high. Yay. Also another border crossing, woooo. There's been a lot of border crossings, occupational hazard of going round relatively small countries. Also, side note. I didn't get a leaving stamp from Bosnia hmmm. Firstly why did I get one in the first place? We're both in the EU. Brexit hasn't happened yet mate. Stop discriminating. God damn it. Alina didn't get a stamp, I did. It made No sense. I can only assume they thought I'd try and stay past brexit and become an illegal immigrant. Yet I've left so ha. They lose, I win... OK. Yeah but then when we went on to Croatia they drove straight past the border crossing without stopping, like at all. They just sped thru. Hmmmm. The inconsistency between border crossings has been an unfathomable mystery I've been probing in my mind. Some they dont stop you. Some they look at your passport. Some you stay on the bus. Some you get off. And some they have border guards shouting at you, not pointing any fingers (Serbia). So I hope this one I won't be pulled up for having no exit stamp. That would seriously dampen my trip. And be an irritating time and monetary inconvenience. #Pray4George. Anyhow, you'll find this out after my next post. Ill find out in an hour... For now you just get to hear more about our beautiful, relaxing, chilled out coastal camping time yeaaaaay. So we stayed in neum for four nights, where I posted my last blog from. I can't remember all I said last time so please excuse if I sound like a broken record and my repetition kills your brain cells. So this was the first use of the k mart tent and SLEEPING BAG ONESIE since leaving oz. It was emotional for me. And epic. We didn't put the lid on the tent so the roof was just a mozzie net. Breezy and you got lits of natural light. Plus being a three man tent there was lots of space. Alina even got to experience the beauty of the onesie first hand. A prestigious moment that I imagine will stay with her for the rest of her life, although as it was 30 degrees she didn't use it to its fullest potential unlike in the arctic conditions of central Australia at night. In the immortal words of Dwayne "the rock" Johnson: you're welcome. The campsite was nice although it had one toilet and one shower. Icky. Smelly. Gross. Wet. Feral. These are just an array of words I would use to describe them. Especially when there were 40 people staying there. Aside from this we had fun. Cheap, beers and lots of cards. There was one game we played, a lot. And those of you familiar with it will know from the title. Those not, will think my profanities are taking the best of me. Shithead. What a game. One I learnt as a wee infant with one Ashley beddows, then more innocently known as the magic game, it took hold of me and has been a staple of my life, especially while travelling or when skiing with the cousins. It is now also in Alina's lifeblood. We may have played over 100 maybe 200 games in like a week. Addiction. It is a cruel thing. One that we do not understand and can often underestimate until we are taken under its grips. Like meth addicts desperately looking for their next hit, Scrounging money for a few hours high, we scoured the streets for cards and when we found them we sprinted back to camp to let the games commence. We havent looked back. We could be anywhere now, we can't stop staring at those cards and threeing each other. Machu pichu? No thanks I'd rather win at shithead. We have an issue. Please. Call social services. We are addicts. We need help. We need our family. Mum. Dad. Hannah. Jessica. Rowland. If you're out there reading this please, hear my call and get us help. Lol. Ok neum was nice we went to the stone beach each day searching for shade. Its very hot here but the shade is perfect. Only issue we aren't the only ones desperately seeking shade. Everyone was, it was like some kind of teisted pilgrimmage where the shade was the statue of a virgin mary we pray to to cure our illnesses. There were however, some tanning machines who just took the sun in all its glory and power. There was limited shade but we generally found it as we cosyed up next to randoners, we sat on their feet and straddled their lilos. It was funny. The sea was gorgeous though, warm yet refreshing from the midday heat. The beach was also the ideal spot for some German lessons which have been under way (sporadically), for a few weeks now. Lots of vocab. I'm building my repertoire before my fluency comes. A zommershpraser for example is a freckle, it translates to summer sprinkle - cute. Only isuue is as its all oral my spelling is atrocious. Alina is a good teacher though. So give it a week and I'll be writing sonnets and reading ancient German texts. So apart from cards and tanning there isn't much to report from our time in neum (we're both very tanned tho, yeaaaaah baybey). Be jealous. Oh yes one more thing. There was some kind of travelling christian cult in our campsite who look to "help" disadvantaged, vulnerable kids in Bosnia. Hmmm. Sketchy. They even tried to convert both of us simultaneously in German and English. Very amusing. My guy, also from Guildford, lol, very random, that was his in by the way, how he began the conversion. He failed. He cited the illuminati and giants and conspiracy theories in his "sermon". It was hard to take him seriously before, this made it impossible. They both failed we are not a part of their cult (you're welcome). Amusing nonetheless though. Alina's "messiah" was an ex heroin addict who claimed the gift of god was better than any high he'd ever got, lol good joke. The simultaneous looks on our faces showed our disbelief in what they were trying to do. An outsider, a bystander that is would have had a chuckle I reckon. So the second part of our coastal adventure was the immense Dubrovnik. This is a city I have heard about for years from a variety of people. But never really thought about. Then when I found out we'd be going straight past it I pushed for us to make a stop there, Alina agreed. Only issue. It is super touristy and super expensive. Cheapest hostel €25, urgh. 1 night it is then. So we embarked upon our 24 hours in Dubrovnik, the UNESCO world heritage site. There is one thing for certain. That title is fully deserved. While a little part of me wants to revisit and rewrite the immortal "we h8 tourists" post from vietnam on Christians blog, my overwhelming desire (for once) is to talk about its beauty and the awe we (I especially) felt. I say I especially because of my obsession with walls, history and battles. Its like age of empires (the game I used to play? Or black and white 2 (another game I used to play) or game of thrones or lord of the rings. It is sick. So its an old town, very rich and is completely surrounded by the impeccable, huge, And fully preserved 2km wall. Every single inch of ground within these walls, that were built from the 1300s to the 1600s, is being used and covered in stone. Game of thrones was filmed there, it quite literally felt like being in GoT or LoTR as you wandered around the tiny alleyways that were super steep up the hill or as you leaned against the huge 20ft high walls. It was immense, Beautiful and unbelievably impressive. It was awesome, another few days would have been nice but one day was enough to see it all and experience the city. We also went to the small little beach next to the old town that was split in two. Free beach and the bar's paid beach. These halves were the same size but while the free part was rammed, no space to lie down fully the paid half had maybe 30 people on its 100 sun loungers. Ridiculous. It was a nice lil beach tho, sea still lush and a nice view of the city. We also went on a nice boat trip round the city and the island. Very relaxed and a nice view of the city. It was a good day spent and funnily enough the best view we got was on the bus just now on the way out as it climbed a fee hundred metres up and we saw right down over Dubrovnik. A successful few days for us as we head to Montenegro. I look forward greatly to regaleing the tales of this great journey. Bye bye. G. PS. I got thru the border fine. However, I have a very funny story from this crossing, all will be shared in good time.

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