#YOUR VOICE. DOES NOT. FULLY SETTLE IN. UNTIL YOU ARE AROUND THIRTY. I DON'T CARE IF A THIRTY-YEAR-OLD LOOKS TO '''''OLD''''' TO PLAY

[musical-chick-13]

Oh, not me unfollowing someone for griping about older actresses singing roles that shouldn’t ever be sung by college students because people that age aren’t vocally mature enough to healthily handle them.

[byougen]

Lover, Please Stay

(Todoroki Enji x G/N Reader)

The banner was made by Etsi @etegomanere.

Genre: Angst/Fluff

TW: Mentions of toxic relationships, family drama, food talk, past relationships

Author's Note: This is my (very rushed) collab fic for the Attack on Academia Discord server! The theme was Fall Festival so I tried to implement that into this fic as much as I could. The title was based off one of my best friend's favorite songs, "Lover Please Stay" by Nothing But Thieves. Please enjoy!

He withdrew his head from the shell of your ear, looking at your joyous bearing, the vestiges of exhaustion in your voice from laughing too hard. The crisp fronds embellished your hair in fiery hues like a coronet, your smile more seraphic than that of a celestial being. After your laughter had died down, you gazed into his eyes, your delicate fingers coming to stroke the hot surface of his cheek.

-

"Come on, Todoroki-san, it's so much fun!" he was being tugged by the sleeve of his bomber, mind burgeoning into surprise as you pulled him by the wrist, a gleaming smile stretched from ear to ear as you laughed to him in such a sonorous manner. As you both crashed into the accumulation of warm hues sprinkled onto the surface of the forest, he could hear your dulcet giggles flowing right into the shell of his ear. He then realized what position he was in. He was laying directly on top of your measly figure as you chuckled beneath him. He could feel his cheeks fizzle in embarrassment.

"Enji… would you still look at me, even after you become number one?"

Enji was uprooted from the chrysalis of slumber, the sweat dripping down his face. Weighted breaths sprung from his lungs, his face warm with the embrace of affection now burned out into a dry, icy sensation that swathed his body. Shame.

How shameful he was to be thinking of another woman after getting married. Shame on him for reminiscing in the summery feeling of a lover—no, a past lover.

"Dad, are you awake?" the chirp of a meek voice came from behind the door, the shadow of his daughter's silhouette visible.

"Yes, I'm awake, Fuyumi." he cleared his throat, sitting up.

"Shouto has his autumn festival today, are you going?"

He gulped. Autumn. The way you laughed while the cool wind brushed your face. The way that the crisp leaves decorated your hair. The way your lips dried by the cool air graced his—

"Dad? Why aren't you responding?"

He lowered his head and cleared his throat.

"Yeah. I'm going."

Enji started his day on a rough note, getting ready to attend his youngest son's fall festival.

-

Enji crouched behind Shouto, his height too much for the tiny stall. He watched Shouto as he took orders from the prolonged crowd of people. He could smell the spices wafting around the stall as he realized how hungry he was. He'd refused to eat breakfast in hopes that he'd get to the festival to help Shouto out with the soba stall—however, he had not paid mind to how ravenous he was, his stomach demanding any source of flavor.

He'd only wished that he'd have the time to eat well. The only times when he was able to eat well were when he was off duty.

"Father, you seem off." Shouto muttered as his pen twirled across the small notepad in his hand.

"Don't worry about it, Shouto. I'm fine."

"I'm not worrying. You refused to eat breakfast today from what Fuyumi told me."

Enji's stomach agreed with Shouto's words, a loud rumbling noise sounding from it. He turned away and cleared his throat, slight heat slithering through his face.

"Here, take this protein bar. I brought one along but it seems like you need it more." Shouto muttered, tossing something to him. Enji caught the measly bar in his hands, frowning at the size of it. Well, for what it's worth, he'd eat it.

-

"Enji, Enji!" he heard that piquing cry once again. He grumbled as you ran up to him, your boots creating raging waves within the puddles that covered the streets. Besides your exasperated panting from running in the rain, you grinned. In both hands you help two cartons–no, foam cups–and he was sure he could smell the balmy, saccharine savors of cocoa wafting from them.

"It's raining, but it looks like I brought us some hot chocolate!" you beamed, reaching to give them one of the cups.

"You take it. I don't want it." he turned his face away, scowling. Why were you offering him such things? He was the soon to be number one hero. He couldn't indulge in such kiddish pleasures.

"Why're you always such a buzzkill? Come on, it's hot chocolate!" you retorted, shoving the beverage into his chest. He gritted his teeth and then took the drink into his hand.

"Fine." he murmured.

He detached the cap from the lid, revealing the humid steam that billowed its way out of the cup and into the rain. He huffed at the cupped through hollow cheeks before finally raising the mahogany liquid up to his lips, letting its flavor envelope his tongue. The pleasant relish of cocoa slithered onto his tongue and down his throat. It was a rediscovery. How many years had it been since he'd last indulged in sweet goods such as this one? He found himself glugging it until he'd reached only a single drop.

"How is it?"

"It's good." he mumbled, licking his lips to search for even more of the sugary taste.

"Oh, uh, Enji, you've got a 'lil something on your mouth." you stated, pointing towards some unknown area on his mouth. He annoyedly ran his tongue along the corners of his lips once more, but by the looks of your giggling disposure, it looks like he had no luck.

"H-Here… let me get it for you."

You reached your palm out and his face stiffened as he watched you catch the stain of brown, now displayed on your finger.

Wait, what just happened?

The vines of heat sprouted in his cheeks, coiling towards the tips of his ears.

"Do you want me to get more?" you questioned, pulling your hood up again as you prepared to head into the rain again.

"Mhm… S-Sure. Thanks." he quickly muttered as you took the cue to dash towards the stall.

He gazed into one of many puddles of water muddling the sidewalk that revealed his reflection. His complexion was licked in a cranberry tint.

-

Enji found himself leaning against a brick wall, his eyes scanning the crowd for anything exciting except Shouto serving hot bowls of exquisite soba to customers. His eyes settled on a young woman, her face glowing as her wide smile glistened, her hand intertwined with what looked to be her toddler son's tiny fingers. Their laughs echoed like as if it were a heavenly ballad, the woman kneeling down to scoop her child up and spin him around lovingly.

A spark was lit inside him.

How he wished that was him with his children. He had no idea how to do it. When he was in his twenties he had just had his first son and let his blood run like a stream until he combusted into a field of uncontrollable flames, never allowing him to be a casual child like he desired. Todoroki Enji was no father. He was a miserly man with very little knowledge of family ethics. For the past thirty years, he had only known fame and power. He had ended up being a supreme hero, but he could never be satisfied with his accomplishments.

He had a family to feed. Wasn't that enough? Just to care for their health and provide them with an education was enough, right? In time, reality smacked him upside the face and invaded his mind. Was it too late to save himself from those putrid ideologies? He had plenty of time to figure it out in the decades of his life that he endured, so why was it that he realized only now? Was it just him? Was he the only one holding himself back from that sort of realization?

-

Enji had finally achieved what he'd desired for so long. With each step he took through the busy street, he was prideful. He was wearing an unusual smile across his face. He didn't need help anymore.

"Endeavor-san! How does it feel like to be the new number one?"

"What did you do to become so strong, Endeavor-san?"

He held triumph in his heart. He had won over Japan's trust and become the most powerful man in the country. He didn't need anybody now.

And then he saw you.

Your eyes were doused in a nulled haze as he marched through the street, the cheers and jeers of people surrounding him blocking any other sound that was to be in his hearing. It shouldn't bother him, he thought. If it shouldn't bother him, why did it feel like his feet were grazing jagged, shattered glass? Why did it feel like the fire in your eyes burned out, leaving him with no more warmth? Why did it feel like his body was embellished in everbleeding cuts, stretching painfully with each step he took? It shouldn't bother him, but the way your passionate orbs were now sunken and dull made him fearful. What did you do? What did he do to blow that fire out?

He silently prayed for you to say something, move, anything. But you just stood there, as still as concrete.

Through the flashing lights, he could see your lips move. His heart shuddered at what he made out from the way your lips danced in such a sudden manner.

"I guess I was just another paper to the flames."

He then watched you turn your back to him and fade into the crowd, trudging away.

"Endeavor-san, who helped you get where you are now?"

Those words struck an arrow through his frail heart. His pride had fully dissolved. He felt his whole figure tremble as he let out a roar of unadulterated anguish and fury.

"Shut up!"

-

Todoroki Enji was no stickler for apologies, neither was he ever forgiven for his mistakes either. He was angry. Dissatisfied. Ungrateful. He wouldn't apologize for those either. He was an asshole. Everybody knew he was an asshole, but the fate of Japan depended on him. He didn't deserve respect and his children wouldn't give him any.

The basic foundation was to be raised in a happy family, grow up to be successful, and to find love. Of course, not everybody's ideology was composed of those beliefs. But to Enji, his morals were distorted. He had a wife who he only used to have children, and he had children who he used to bring him even more power.

He was reminiscing the wasted moments which were supposed to be composed of pure affection, the ones he was supposed to share with his wife. The poor woman whom he tied the knot with, with her gaze once burning with empathy and affection now encased in a sullen blur. She was only there to birth children who would once change the world. She cooked and cleaned and tenderly cared for the young ones, distraught by their father's tyrannous teachings. She was the one who brought them into the world. The lady who had gifted them with unconditional love and sacrifice. She was the one that crumpled like scriptures to the flames before any of the children. She was nameless to him, only to support his needs–no, his miserly desires–his desires for power in the world.

Oh, if only. If only he hadn't yearned for the strength. If only he had lived a moral life. Thirty gruelling years later, he was thinking of the warm look in your eyes, now but a wisp. He had built you up just to let you crumble before him as he succumbed to his desires. You were ash, dust carried by the wind to who knows where. If only it were you in that wedding attire, gazing up at him so lovingly, instead of Rei with her fearful bearing. Had it been you to elope with him, this whole mess would only be a dream. The scar on Shouto's face would have been but a dream. The fright in Rei's eyes but a dream. The hatred of his children but a dream. The somber look in your eyes but a dream.

To be able to savor the moment with your lips intertwined was a distant idea. He could see it burning into his mind, fading in when it had faded out of his mind thirty years ago. He longed for love and affection, but he knew he couldn't receive it now. Not with the way he had tossed people around his world. Not with the way he had treated you.

-

"Enji, would you still look at me, even after you became the world's greatest hero?"

His cheeks boiled at your words. He had his eyes set on you, and that was that, so why did it take him so long to build the words? He gulped. He reached his large hands to cup your face, leaning his forehead into yours.

"(L/N) (F/N), you're the only one I have eyes for. You matter to me, more than anybody else."

He leaned down so that your lips could pirouette into each other's. The traces of cocoa on your lips made the kiss even warmer. His thumb grazed the soft skin of your cheek as he shut his eyes, indulging in the bliss of the moment.

When he pulled back, he looked back into your eyes.

"I love you, Enji."

He almost choked at your words. He knew he loved you, so why couldn't he say the same? He had adored you all this long, so why aren't the words coming out? The sweetness you left on his lips had turned into something sickly sweet—almost bitter. Was it the words that he had said previously? Is that why this felt so wrong?

Little did he know, it was something embedded in his subconscious. Todoroki Enji was never a decisive man.

-

"Shouto, it's getting late. We should head back home." Enji groused. In reality, he was sickened by the thoughts of the past that had been ambushing him throughout the day.

"Hold on, just one more order and then we can go home. Yaoyorozu-san will take care of the rest." Shouto said.

"Hi, could I get two bowls of zaru soba, please?"

The sound of the voice was noticeably familiar, like warm melted fudge. It reminded him of sugary hot cocoa. His gut tugged his eyes towards the source of the voice to see those warm eyes of yours, no longer dull and empty.

"(L/N)." he croaked, a light smile tugging at his lips. His stomach fluttered ever so slightly, heat blossoming in the pits of his cheeks. It was really you.

"Enji." his name sprouted from your lips like a benediction, and Enji couldn't be more overjoyed to hear it. Your rekindled eyes were focused on him now.

"Enji–no, no, sorry." you raised your palm to your forehead, a self-disapproving scowl upon your face. "Endeavor-san, how have you been?"

His heart tensed at your words, the joyous feeling within him now crumpling to ash. Now framing his body was the same feeling that greeted him when he'd woken up from that terrifying dream.

"I'm…" his mind spiralled into nauseating circles, his ankles starting to buckle. You should be saying his real name, he thought to himself. You can't just call him by his alias. He then drew in a precarious breath.

"I'm fine."

"So, how have you been? It's been thirty years since we've last seen each other!" You chirped. Your smile was wide and glistening like starlight. There was no more hate or sadness in your eyes. He was happy about that.

"I–I've been doing fine, really. I…"

"You became number one again, I see! Congrats!"

His heart did little twirls at the sound of your voice.

"Yeah. Thanks…" Enji reached his hand to scratch the back of his neck, turning away so that he didn't need to meet your gaze because the heat was already flowing to his cheeks.

"(F/N)! Are you getting food?" a voice shattered the balmy silence. Enji's stomach curled at the voice. What was it that made it so threatening?

He then saw a man scamper over to you, then wrapping his arms around your waist lovingly. He nuzzled the tip of his nose into your temple, pressing a kiss to the apple of your cheek. He felt his heart shrivel up and quaver in his chest. Who was this guy?

"Oh, Endeavor-san! This is my husband!" you warbled, reaching a hand up to stroke the man's face affectionately. No, it couldn't be.

"That's crazy, (F/N)! You've known the Endeavor since high school?" his voice was nauseating. It wasn't because he was jealous, but because of how he treated you. He was almost too nice.

"Yeah! He's super cool!" something was off about the way he looked at your this time. Your voice was almost monotonous, your eyes laced with the slightest bit of hurt. Oh no. You hadn't forgotten.

"Well, let's get going. It was a pleasure seeing you, Endeavor-san!" your husband had waved before grabbing the bag placed on the counter of the stall and twirling yourselves around to walk away from the near-empty festival.

Before you could fully drift away, he could see you glancing at him. Your eyes held curiosity but also anger in those once warm eyes like a bonfire. He couldn't blame you, though. He had to accept that truth.

He fell onto his knees and let his tears dapple onto the floor of the stall. He knew he couldn't turn back.

[echo-three-one]

Chapter 33

THE ROAD SO FAR

The Broken Ship

Gary "Roach" Sanderson

MacTavish Residence, Glasgow Scotland

The moment they arrived at home and broke the news about Alexandra, the whole morale of the group fell and the rest of the night was quiet. Roach overheard from Maxine that Soap's parents visited and he was all excited to listen to her story, but maybe after he consoled his pal, Ghost.

Ever since the mission ended, Simon was quiet, maskless and totally vulnerable. He felt like this before, back in Verdansk where he was like an emotionless killing machine. And Gary was afraid that he'd go back to this phase, a phase where all he would ever care about is that this war should end.

Gary knew how to talk him out of these kinds of situations, but this time, he preferred not to. He knew that after a massive loss and heartbreak, Simon preferred the silence. So he decided to let him collect his thoughts alone in his room.

"Is he going to be okay?" Maxine asked, wrapping an arm on his, as they walked the silent corridors of the second floor.

"I'm not sure. But I hope so…" Gary turned to her and frowned. Maxine's other hand grazed on his arm.

"What about you? Are you okay?" She tilted her head and looked at him in the eyes. Gary didn't want to lie, but he also didn't want her to worry. But right now, he wanted to express what he felt.

"Well… I almost died today. I'm glad Alex was behind us the whole time." he exhaled and Maxine's grip on his arm tightened making Gary turn to her.

Tears fell from her eyes as they stopped walking and she quickly embraced him. Gary quickly wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back.

"Don't you dare die on me, Gary Sanderson…" She sniffled and looked up at him.

"Please!" She added, her mouth trembled as she let her tears flow and sobbed on his chest.

"I can't …" Gary said.

"I can't promise anything like that, Maxine… But I'll be careful next time." He smiled as their eyes met.

"Now wipe off those tears and let's talk about something else, okay?" Gary ran a finger through her cheek, wiping the tears off.

"Sleep beside me tonight." She whispered.

Gary felt like he was the luckiest man alive. He couldn't imagine how Maxine was now sleeping on his bare chest, his arms wrapped around her soft skin. He joined with the slow rise and fall of her breathing and gently brushed her hair.

After planting a quick kiss on her forehead, he heard the sound of glass being tapped by the window. He dismissed it as a bird or the wind but it continued on until he finally got up, carefully putting Maxine's head on a pillow.

Ghost was on the ground, throwing pebbles by the window, Gary quickly pushed the window open and peeked his head. The cold chill of the midnight air brushed against his body.

"Simon?" he asked, whispering loud enough so he could hear him.

"I need your help." He asked. He was already ready to go, backpack and all. But it looked like Ghost needed a hand.

"What kind?" Gary asked, looking at Maxine who was sound asleep.

"I need you to come with me back to the ship. I'll explain the details later." he invited.

"What about the rest?" Gary asked, he was almost hesitant to go, but at times like this, Ghost wasn't the kind of person to ask for help. He needed him.

"We'll just be gone for a while." he assured and Gary signaled him to wait, he grabbed a change of clothes, perfect for the weather and kissed Maxine goodbye.

"I'll be out for a short while." he whispered and closed the door.

Through the hallways, Gary tiptoed quietly. Everyone else was asleep as evidenced by the loud snoring of a nearby open door.

After crossing the longest hallway quietly, Gary pushed the door open and met up with Ghost.

"Where are we going?" Gary asked. Ghost gave him a backpack of his own and he immediately wore it.

"Yeah, Gary. Where are you going?" A familiar voice said by the door. It was Maxine. Gary gulped in pressure and looked at Ghost, who just looked down as a gesture of "you talk your way out of this one pal"

Gary cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry I didn't wake you up. You looked peacefully asleep." He muttered.

"We're uhh…" Roach scratched his head and looked at Ghost.

"We're going to look for Alexandra and give her a proper burial." Ghost muttered and everyone fell silent. Roach looked at Ghost then back to Maxine as she sharply inhaled.

"I'll come with. I want to be there with your friend too, Roach." She said, nodding to Ghost. Come to think of it, the two never fully acquainted to each other. Maybe one of the factors Ghost didn't bother trying was that because she's Francine's sister.

"Thanks uh… Maxine.." Ghost said and looked down.

"Let me change my clothes first then we'll go." She said as she stepped back and went on to do her thing.

Ghost looked at Roach.

"She looks pretty cool." Ghost said and Gary turned to him.

"Are you okay with her tagging along?" Gary asked, with all the hand gestures.

"Well, I'm just planning to dive back to the ship while you wait." He said, the tone in his voice was nonchalant.

"How sure are you that we're going to find her?" Gary asked. Ghost immediately nudged him and smiled.

"And here I thought you were the optimistic one…" he said nodding to Maxine as she stepped out of the MacTavish estate wearing casual clothing.

A low whistle escaped Gary's lips as he eyed the beautiful lady standing in front of her.

"I'm ready to go!" She said as the three walked to the jeep rental and made their way back to the sunken site.

With Ghost driving, Gary and Maxine placed themselves at the back and tried to catch up with sleep, Maxine leaning on Gary's shoulders.

It was a smooth ride and it was quite lengthy. Gary wondered why they even went to Scotland if he had plans like this in the first place.

"So what made you decide about planning this op?" Gary asked.

"I… I wanted to give her a proper goodbye." He mutteres as he parked by the pier. Roach nudged Maxine awake and they carried their bags to the boat they rented.

"Hey, Isn't this…" Gary exclaimed.

"Yeah. S.S. Crossbones. The same ship we used just yesterday." He said, spinning his keys as they entered the boat.

After settling on the boat, Ghost got on his diving gear and they sailed to the sink site, filled with determination.

Gary sat beside Maxine who was enjoying the view, her wind blew as the boat sailed, drops of water splashed on her face.

"How are you holding up?" Gary asked as he held her hand.

"It's amazing to actually see the ocean again." Her smile was basked with the sunlight.

"Yeah. With all these things going on we were actually forced to go in hiding. It's sad." Gary consoled and Maxine grinned.

"It's okay. It's just fate pulling it's strings…"

"You believe that?" Gary asked.

"You know… destiny and the like.." he added.

Maxine curled her lips and thought for a bit.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean we control our lives but the things around us are you know… slightly orchestrated?" she replied with that same curious look on her face. The face Gary loved to stare at all the time.

"Yeah. I agree." he smiled as they looked forward to the crash site. The red hull of the cruise ship still peeked at the surface, despite the ocean which was supposed to be deep.

"The ship landed on a shallow portion of the ocean. So I guess we could stay afloat here and look for her." He said wearing his goggles and mouthpiece.

"Okay. We'll stay on lookout. Stay frosty and take care!" Gary gave an ok gesture as Ghost sat on one of the edges of the boat, readying himself to dive to the ship.

"I hope you find her, Simon." Maxine said and Ghost nodded as he plopped himself to the deep blue, the two trailed their eyes on his silhouette slowly descended and faded from sight.

"I sure hope he finds her." Maxine said, wrapping an arm on Gary.

"Yeah. I sure hope he does." Gary said as he locked his arms on hers and leaned on her.

Gary checked his watch and looked at the ocean surface. Approximately thirty minutes left and he'll be running on reserve.

"You think he found her?" Gary asked and leaned on the edge, his hands covered his face acting like a visor.

"I hope so." Maxine said from behind him, unpacking the food she gathered from the pantry. Gary turned back and looked at Maxine who was already halfway to making a sandwich.

"You brought food?!" Gary asked in amusement and she nodded, making the lad move next to her and help her out.

"I figured I could be of help in your little rogue mission." She smirked and Gary gave her a soft peck on the cheek.

"I haven't thought this far ahead. You're the best!"

Another fifteen minutes had passed and the couple already finished their snack, Ghost slowly emerged from the salty sea, his hands brought nothing but a piece of fabric.

Gary and Maxine excitedly stood up and checked if he found her, but frowned as soon as they saw him empty handed. Both of them were too sad to ask how the diving went.

"I got nothing…" He frowned. Gary tried to be optimistic.

"What if she made it out. But on a different way and she's out there?" he theorized, Maxine and Ghost actually looked at him oddly.

At first he thought his idea was absurd but as soon as Ghost looked to him, it kind of made sense.

"There were no bodies on the ship. It's possible everyone else floated to shore."

"Or got extracted somehow." Maxine added, giving Ghost an ounce of will to carry on.

"What's in that piece of fabric?" Gary asked as Ghost looked at it and read it's contents.

SHADOW COMPANY

SITE HOTEL BRAVO, AFGHANISTAN

"There are coordinates here. This may be our next step to finding Shepherd." Ghost added.

"So we're heading home?" Gary asked.

"Yes. I guess we're headed to Afghanistan." He smiled, Gary first thought he was excited. But a deeper look in his eyes said that he's out for revenge.

Next Chapter : High and Dry

Notification Squad my Beloved

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