#YQY is tired and wants a break from it all

[lqgsword]

i feel like SJ would be a heavy girl group stan and a hater with a capital H of boy groups

he'd have a h=h account on twitter, if you talk shit about his fav gg he Will track you down especially if you're a bg stan. he'd dox people without thinking twice and YQY would help him if he ever got in trouble (he majored in laws bc of SJ)

[sunderwight]

Liushen AU where SY transmigrates into SJ's older brother, and subsequently nopes them right out of the slavery backstory by using his general knowledge of the story and actually being an adult in a kid's body to just leave (basically) with SJ and YQ.

SY carts them both up to Cang Qiong for the next sect trials. It's actually not all that hard, the trickiest part is getting enough to eat and finding safe places to sleep between leaving the slavers and taking the trials (SY manages just barely, with considerable help from his new little brothers.) Nobody bothers to go after them because it's before Qiu Jianluo and this style of human traffickers mostly operate by virtue of their merchandise having nowhere else to go. Chasing down runaways is an expense not worth indulging, given that most of them either come straight back or die of exposure.

Anyway, they take the trials, and as expected YQY gets chosen to become a personal disciple for the sect leader, and SJ gets chosen by the Qing Jing Peak Lord, but also as (kind of) expected (by SY alone) nobody wants SY. He's older the Yue Qi, so too old, and unlike YQ and SJ his cultivation potential isn't striking enough to make any exceptions for him.

SY, however, can't leave it at that. He's spent more than five minutes with the street kid codependency gang, so he's gotten attached to both of them. And he knows what will happen if they're left to their own devices and The Plot proceeds accordingly. (Also, they keep threatening to not stay at the sect if SY doesn't stay too, for some reason.) So with a heavy heart and internal candle lit for himself, SY heads to Bai Zhan Peak. Which is the only peak that accepts disciples by way of them turning up and refusing to leave.

SY's not much of a fighter. He actually really hates the atmosphere on BZP, he's not bad at physical cultivation (his health's pretty good in this life, ironic considering how much worse his situation was) but the random ambushes and survival-of-the-fittest stuff is just not his brand. But that's okay, because it turns out that BZP actually DESPERATELY needs disciples on the actual peak who are interested in things other than fighting and cultivating their own strength. Stuff like, filling out requisition requests for An Ding every time things break, apologizing to An Ding every time things break again, organizing schedules, browbeating senior disciples into actually teaching, educating disciples on virtually any artistic or social skill, hosting lectures on how to beat vicious beasts without just overpowering them, and etc.

Okay so some of this stuff isn't and has never actually been on Bai Zhan's curriculum but Shen Yuan is going to make this place tolerable. And stop these children from needlessly getting acid burns or lyme disease or scurvy or whatever. He keeps internally chewing out Airplane for designing a sect system that means there are a lot of largely unsupervised 12-year-olds running around the wilderness on a mountain picking fights all the time. (When he actually meets Shang Qinghua and figures him out he switches to doing it in person, of course, in twice-monthly bitching sessions that look a lot like budding friendship.)

Of course one of the worst offenders is the Liu kid, who SY would suspect was actually raised by wolves if he didn't know for a fact that Liu Qingge has a younger sister, and also the kinds of nice clothing and letters from home that strongly imply not only does he have a family, but that the family is pretty well-off. Liu Qingge is at first deeply offended by SY being a BZP disciple. He rarely fights anyone, and uses tricks and evasion tactics whenever a fight can't be avoided. And he does other annoying stuff, like pestering him about meals and baths and lecturing him on identifying dangerous plants and the early signs of qi deviation. This is not what their peak is about! He should get with the program already! Just fight stuff until you're too tired to keep fighting stuff!

Also SY's younger brother, SJ, is pure evil (at least according to baby Liu Qingge) even though his other younger brother (?) is cool and nice.

Anyway, Liu Qingge stops complaining about SY after their first mission together, where Liu Qingge doesn't lose a fight but does get into a kind of pyrrhic victory situation where he's really badly hurt, and it's SY who helps him win (correctly identifying the monster and then pointing out its weakness) and takes care of him afterwards and gets him safely back to Cang Qiong. SY expresses surprise at LQG actually being polite to him, and LQG realizes that he's been a colossal ass if people think he wouldn't be grateful to someone who saved his life, so the usual Liushen dynamic proceeds from there. Liu Qingge starts bringing SY fans he leaves behind and hunts down animals that are supposed to be useful for bolstering weak cultivation, SY invites LQG to tea and keeps the critters as pets, etc etc.

SY doesn't get the Head Disciple position, because that's only acquired via beating the current peak lord in combat and lol no. Also he's not interested in stealing it from Liu Qingge, to whom it rightfully belongs (in his mind). But that's fine, because Liu Qingge takes the position when the next generation ascends and then he lets SY exclusively handle all the peak duties SY actually likes (mainly teaching). It's perfect -- Liu Qingge gets to focus on his War God antics and occasional administration/meetings without having to deal with students his has no patience for, but the disciples of BZP don't get neglected because SY is actually teaching and organizing classes and student care. BZP hasn't enjoyed a golden age like this since it was founded!

Things are pretty good overall, but Shen Yuan knows that it's only a matter of time before The Plot shows up, and so he can't rest completely easily.

Meanwhile, the will-they-or-won't-they bets on Liushen have been going strong for a while now. The thing is, most of their martial siblings are convinced that these two are already "together", and just being circumspect about it. Those who know SY well (like SJ, YQY, and SQH) know better but think that SY's romantic obtuseness is to blame, whereas those who know LQG well (LMY, WQW, and MQF) are pretty sure that it's actually LQG's obtuseness that's the problem. Of course it's actually both of them, so efforts to "fix" matters by getting through one of their thick skulls inevitably run afoul of the other's.

An additional complication is of course: SJ doesn't like LQG (mutual), and now that he's the leader of his own peak, he wants to poach SY to come and live there. Not only so he can have one of the 2 people he trusts actually close at hand, but also because SJ also hates actually teaching the atrocious little brats on his peak, and would like to have SY come and do it for him. YQY is still a total pushover for him too, and is also now the sect leader, so YQY agrees that SY can change peaks if SY and LQG both agree to it.

Liu Qingge, of course, is a no, but he's a variable "no". He's not going to hold Shen Yuan against his will or anything.

As for Shen Yuan, it's... complicated. He doesn't really like BZP, but it's gotten a lot better than it was at the start. These days he's actually pretty proud of his accomplishments, and it's more comfortable, but it's still a rough and rowdy place with fewer creature comforts, libraries, or other appealing points than QJP. Also, if he goes to Qing Jing to teach, he can personally ensure that SJ doesn't go around persecuting any of his students!

But... SJ never lived with the Qiu family in this AU, and even though SY's not totally clear on what the PIDW backstory for SJ was, he knows he's a better guy now than the scum villain in the book was. He has a reputation for making cutting remarks, not for being an abusive snake or a lecher. SY's honestly less worried about him doing anything bad at all, and there are other people on QJP who can teach. It might even be good for SJ to promote more people to fill out a social circle he can rely on! That guy needs more friends, seriously.

And QJP really doesn't need more layabout literary intellectual types who get into pointless arguments, which is all SY would be if he went there. Just yet another nerdy scholar for the rich kids with middling cultivation that the peak favors to ignore. At least on BZP he's filling a gap.

SY is clearly torn, and the fact that SY's considering it has LQG upset, and LQG doesn't handle being upset very well, so of course they have an argument about it. SY storms off to cool his head and LQG is like, this is it, he's gone to Qing Jing Peak, I've drive him off by being too aggressive and he's probably remembering all those times I told him he didn't belong here and oh no what have I done maybe if I build him a heated bath and get him books he will come back???

Turns out that SY just went to An Ding to vent at SQH while SQH was like "I think you would have fewer problems if you and Liu Qingge just got married and my disciples could call you Shigu to your face instead of behind your back" and SY threw melon seeds at him and sulked on his fainting couch (which is always cold for some reason...)

Thus begins the Liushen Divorce Arc where SY tries to be anywhere but BZP or QJP, Liu Qingge tries to figure out what thing he can punch to fix this not-punchable problem, SJ is like "I don't see what the big deal is they should break up Liu Qingge is awful and I want my brother to teach my classes for me" like the spoiled youngest sibling he's finally allowed to be, YQY is trying to moderate this Hades vs Demeter situation and is all "well maybe SY could spend half the year on QJP and half on BZP?", and Liu Mingyan is going "I know my brother if this doesn't work out he is going to die single and pining like an idiot" and so keeps conscripting other disciples to y'know, lock SY and LQG into storage closets together (ineffective: LQG can punch through walls) or at least get them in the same room (underestimating SY's willingness to yeet himself out of windows to avoid awkward social interactions.)

By the time Luo Binghe joins the sect (as a Qiong Ding disciple), the drama is in full swing and is the main topic of gossip across most of the peaks.

[vodkassassin]

I hate that bitch ass yqy. Since ur sv prompts exist in an au of svsss, au yqy so that I might not want to kill his trick ass.

Akfjjd ur wish is my command. I’ll give u that SI YQY that u helped me brainstorm earlier, @dancibayo

—

Wake up, rush to work, take a fifteen minute break to eat the stale salad leftover from dinner two nights ago, back to work, and then head home to collapse, exhausted, into the sheets of his bed that he really should throw into the wash but never has the time to do so.

That’s that daily life of a run-of-the mill office worker, a low-income employee of a corporate empire, just another coil in a well oiled machine that never rests, never sleeps, never pauses in its fast-paced industrial production rates.

Life had been hopeful still, he faintly recalls, when he’d been twenty and freshly graduated with his business degree, looking at all the options open to someone like him. A promising student, his professors had said. A dutiful son, destined for a grand career, his parents had boasted. He’d never really put much stock into such praises, even then, and he’s glad he hadn’t —because otherwise, the reality of life would have been absolutely crushing.

Well into his early thirties now, and he can’t even remember the last time he even went out for drinks with coworkers — not friends. None of them have time for something like deeper, interpersonal relationships anymore.

It’s amazing, really, how much different his outlook is even ten years down the road.

It’s honestly just another day. There’s nothing special. Maybe he feels more tired? He can’t tell, really. He doesn’t think he’d have been able to, even in hindsight. It’s all the same.

He shuffles a loose stack of paperwork into a blank, cream-colored manilla folder and slides it into its plastic organizer. His head feels light. A glance at the clock tells him he’d accidentally worked through his meager lunch break, again. He really should stop doing that. His coworker in accounting tells him it doesn’t bode well for his overall work ethic. One of these days, it’s going to show consequences on his productivity, and he’ll get a visit from management. It happened to that one unlucky fellow from marketing.

He folds over his desk, pillowing his arms beneath his head. He’s so tired. It doesn’t matter that he missed his break, he thinks. He’d forgotten to pack anything for lunch anyway. He could have gone down the street to the deli, but really… his stomach swirls nauseous just thinking about it. Maybe it’s for the best he hadn’t eaten.

He closes his eyes. Slip in a quick five minute nap, he thinks. He’s managed it before, without getting caught. He can do it again!

He’s just so tired.

Just for a minute.

—

He wakes up numb. At first.

Something isn’t right, but he can’t really pinpoint what it might be. His entire body aches, but that’s normal for him. He can’t feel his fingertips, but that’s happened before. It’s not really anything to worry about.

He takes in a breath, and jolts as pain, tremendous pain, sears through him like hot, liquid magma, and he screams.

Hands are holding him down. Why? What’s happening? He was just taking a nap.

“It shows no signs of stopping,” someone says, voice tense. “Sect Leader, the only method that might possibly work, at this point, is to put him in the caves.”

Sect… leader?

What?

There’s a deep sigh, one that he can barely hear over the helpless, tortured keens that are pressing, relentlessly, out of his own throat. He writhes beneath the hands that hold him down, but they don’t budge.

He’d just wanted to rest!

“My dearest disciple…. If only you were not so quick to take risks. I’d thought we’d trained such impatience out of you?”

Something, beyond the pain he feels, curls nastily in his gut. It feels like shame. Is it responding to the disappointment he can hear in this stranger's voice? But why?

He doesn’t even know who these people are.

“Sect leader, there’s really no time.”

Another sigh. “Yes, I see. Very well. If it takes the caves to straighten this out, then so be it.”

His face feels damp. With the way that every single one of his nerve endings feels like it’s spasming and curling in response to whatever the hell is wracking his systems, he isn’t surprised that he’s sobbing. Even to himself, he sounds hysterical.

The hands that restrain him lift him up off the hard surface that has been cutting into his back. He feels his limbs jerk, as if on some sort of autopilot, instincts that he can’t ever recall having, and someone yelps.

“I told you to restrain him!”

“He’s too strong, shizun—!”

He feels like he’s underwater. Everything sounds submerged. His hearing muffled out, and he doesn’t know anything after that.

—

Sometimes he wakes up.

Most of the time, he’s asleep for it, and he’s just aware enough to know to be thankful for that.

But sometimes he wakes up, and…

—

“Dashixiong,” someone is outside to greet him when he exits. They bow at the waist , hands folded before them, and he watches them without words. “What a relief it is, to see you well.”

He isn’t well. He doesn’t think he ever will be.

But, he can pretend. For these people, who he has seen glimpses of in lightning quick flashes of memories that aren’t his, who he knows just peripherally enough to pass muster. For them, he can pretend.

He isn’t sure if he can do much more than that, though.

“Shizun has been waiting patiently for you,” they say, and turn to lead him down the path to where the rest of the peak sits. Looming over him, despite being technically lower in elevation. “He wished to speak with you as soon as you resurfaced.”

“I’m sure,” he mumbles under his breath.

His hand tightens, where it’s clenched around the hilt of the sword that rests, swathed, at his side. The fingers curls, knuckles white, where they’ve gripped the weapon for… how long was he down there for?

He isn’t sure he can let go of it, anymore. Will he be forced to always have one hand on his weapon?

He follows the disciple down the mountain.

—

Once, a long time ago, when he’d allowed himself to think about it, he’d thought that death might be a final rest. Sometimes, on the nights where he’d been forced to work overtime with no compensation pay, he’d even found himself cautiously looking forward to it.

Death isn’t a rest. If anything, it’s worse.

Being the head disciple of the ruling peak of a mountain sect of cultivators — it was something that he’d before only encountered in a few of the web novels that he sometimes perused, back when he was younger, back when he’d still had a moment of free time to himself, when he was still allowed to have hobbies.

He doesn’t recognize the setting around him, outside of the brief snatches of pre-recorded memories that he assumes came from whoever had occupied this body before him. Obviously, if this world was fashioned after a specific story from his old world, he had never read it.

He’s still not sure if that’s a blessing or not.

It’s hard work, in any case. His career from before, business and managing and organizing — it helps, somewhat, in the running of this peak that will one day rest solely upon his shoulders once his teacher finally ascends alongside his martial siblings.

What it doesn’t help with, is the training. Harsh, grueling, repetitive and taxing. And he’s handicapped, too, unable to use his own sword like all his fellow disciples and teachers do. It’s hard, he isn’t used to it, but his body remembers it, and he slowly begins to relearn what he was already suppose to know.

He doesn’t fancy dying a second time.

Death isn’t the rest that he’d once thought it would be.

—

There’s someone that makes those faint leftovers of his predecessor curl uneasily upon themselves whenever he sees them.

It starts immediately upon their first encounter, this skinny, emaciated and threadbare boy standing over the body of the man that he has just killed. The splatter of blood from the blow, sitting across his face and glistening in the soft moonlight that peaks through the trees, hasn’t even dried yet. This, coupled with the scowl of sheer hatred that adorns his young face… he looks threatening, despite his small stature. Dangerous, despite his trembling grip on the blade.

And yet, his — Yue Qi’s — heart stutters, crying so loudly for this boy that he can barely hear beyond the blood that rushes past his ears.

“Finally decided to show up?” The boy sneers, tossing the slightly rusted blade to the ground. It lands with a clatter that echoes in the silence of the woods that surround them. “... You’re too late. Much, much too late.”

Yue Qi stares at him, something sour climbing up his throat, and he doesn’t even know why.

“Why even bother coming at all?”

This is his first meeting with Shen Jiu.

As time goes on, and years pass by, this slip of a boy never ceases to confuse him and make his heart hurt wretchedly, in equal measure.

—

He is never really able to muster the courage to ask why.

__

Yue Qi becomes Yue Qingyuan, and Shen Jiu becomes Shen Qingqiu — something that makes the sneer on the boy’s face falter, eyes shining in mysterious fury before his face smooths out into that cold, impassive mask once more — and, really, nothing changes.

He’s still confused. He’s never not. But, he’s trying his best to do good by his martial family. He isn’t sure there’s anything else he can do.

His fellow head disciples — now peak lords — are fine people. He’s grown fond of them, over the years that he’s been forced to get to know them by his own teacher (he’s never called the man his shizun. Despite the leftovers that swirl inside of him, it’s not really his place). He cares for them, as much as he can bring himself to, but he can tell that even they must sense the slight distance between them that he just isn’t capable of breaching.

Even now, he’s still tired.

Shen Jiu, Qingqiu, is counted among them, despite his avarice and clear detest. That’s another he can’t help, the fondness (and odd, distant grief) that curls inside him whenever he looks at the boy, now man.

His predecessor had once loved him, he’s fairly certain, now that he’s had the chance to fully examine the feelings those shreds of soul can communicate to him. Whatever Shen Jiu had been to Yue Qi, he’d loved him, so fiercely and perhaps borderline obsessively that it’s stronger than any other leftover of his predecessor he’s ever felt. Stronger than the duty to his sect.

For that alone, he — Yue Qingyuan — will watch over Shen Qingqiu as much as the man, cold and hateful and hurt and abandoned as he is, will allow him.

It’s no surprise, really, that he eventually grows fond of him, too.

But love? No. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to bring himself to love his martial brother to the same degree of… fervor, that Yue Qi once had.

—

And then, Shen Jiu is hit by a familiar fever that Yue Qingyuan can remember feeling down his very bones, once upon a time — when he wakes, he isn’t the same Shen Jiu that he’s slowly, over the years, gotten to know. Slowly, over the years, grown to care for.

Knowing what he does, it’s very clear to him that this isn’t Shen Jiu at all. It’s someone else. Someone who Yue Qingyuan doesn’t know. Someone that Yue Qingyuan can’t even begrudge, because he knows it isn’t even their fault. Because he knows that, whoever they are, they haven't chosen this for themself.

It doesn’t stop him, in those first few weeks, from feeling irrational. He isn’t sure what he’s doing. He’s mourning, surely. Shen Jiu is dead, that much he knows. The fact that no one seems to even mind is —

It’s breathtakingly upsetting.

He hadn’t known… that he’d grown to care this much for the man that he’d never even gathered the courage to ask. Why.

He’ll never know, now.

—

The new Shen Qingqiu is.

He’s fine. He’s kind hearted, despite how hard he pretends not to be, ostentatiously trying to act as close to what he thinks Shen Jiu had been as he can. Beneath that, he is scared, and Yue Qingyuan can see it bright as day. Beyond his fear, he is kind, he is sweet, he is amusingly sarcastic without any of the vitriol. He is leagues lighter than Shen Jiu ever had the capabilities of being.

Yue Qingyuan can see why their martial siblings like him better.

It doesn’t make it hurt any less. But, he figures, that if he gives himself enough time, he can grow to care for this Shen Qingqiu in the same way that he’d grown to care for his predecessor.

—

Time. It’ll just take some time.