paraily2

[paraily2]

I always felt alienated as someone who has childhood sexual trauma but wasn’t hurt by a pedophile. I didn’t know where I fit.

Was I hurt by an adult? Yes. 

But they didn’t do it out of lust or attraction. I felt the need to justify my trauma by somehow convincing myself that maybe they were attracted to me–even though they weren’t.

Quite frankly, I didn’t believe I had sexual trauma until I was able to truly comprehend that MAPs and child molesters are two very different things. I clung onto the idea so much of the “inherently evil pedophile who sought out to get me” because it felt like the only way to validate my trauma.

I realize that is no longer the case, and understanding that my abuser(s) weren’t MAPs has been healing for me. I’ve been able to look at my trauma objectively rather than making it easily digestible for myself and others.

I know there are so many others like me—those who also suppress their childhood sexual trauma because their abuser doesn’t fit the “scary pedophile who likes kids” mold.

I see you all. Your sexual trauma deserves to be acknowledged.

Learning that most sexual abuse doesn’t stem from attraction but instead power is a valuable thing for everyone to learn. And I can only hope that knowledge becomes more widespread.

[paraily2]

yaaaaaaaaaay

This is a burner! I will rarely be on here. If you can’t find my main blog, shoot me a message and I’ll give you the @!

(Can’t guarantee when I’ll reply, but my main isn’t too hard to find.)