#Yo that was a insane few weeks for my identity I did not identify as a lesbian until I was a couple of seasons in

[ariverofsongs]

damn it i unfollowed you opening your inbox it's the second time something like that has happened this week okay so!

i remember you said it's the scene that introduced you to it! is it the scene that you saw first or was it the scene that made you want to watch it, or are they the same thing? and what in particular would you say struck you in it that made you go OKAY i'm definitely watching that entire show

hiii dw call it a rebirth <3 I'm posting this before I lose it <33

So I watched txf from the start but it was just a random show that I'd heard of and knew was a pop culture thing and also....Kate McKinnon is a vocal xf and Gillian fan so had been meaning to find out what the fuss was about for a while. I was literally hooked from the pilot,,,it was just my vibes, I obsess so easily - this was something else.

BUT I had no idea of the extent of the fandom and stuff until around this ep I think I started googling like if Mulder and Scully ever got together (to try and save some heartbreak like when I googled if Jim and Pam stayed together in the Office - RIP my xf optimism) and I remember an article talking about 'tcotr' and how it was like a huge moment in the show for OG fans. Like I always do, I watch things at a pretty speedy pace so can never pinpoint for certain when thoughts about the show occurred,,, but it was the start of me knowing that I was entering something much larger than I could ever have imagined before!

Maybe something about how electric and free the scene feels to me in a calm way like you could see the static in the air between them but they are relaxed? like you said about Scully talking about Ahab (and everything else you said) and not realising what she's projecting onto mulder there doesn't seem to be any awkwardness it's banter but It's sincere. maybe I sensed something different from what I'd been watching before. not even different just the change of setting and the focus on two lonely bodies in the dark just emphasises everything that's not being said between each thing that is? a couple of best friends in love causing me to internally scream in excitement as something started to shift maybe? the smiles, the gazes. I generally have no idea why I feel certain ways, I just do.

Then I still had no idea about people being around on Tumblr and stuff until I read someone's dissertation online about XF Lesbians and the Scully effect and I thought THAT is where I want to be. And now I'm here.

sorry I tend not to think too much in words it's hard and have never had a coherent thought connected to txf I don't think so enjoy my confusingly arranged letters of the alphabet.