#a million half remembered tragedies and the fractured pieces of people who stood beside him that he will never get back without the bad part

[dark-elf-writes]

Yes!!!!! And also a time traveler that no longer fits in anywhere.

The people they loved and managed to connect with despite everything no longer being able to relate to them. Them not experiencing the same traumas that once tied them so tightly together.

The time traveler seeing their once peers as children now, no matter how old they get. Who views adults as peers but is only looked down on in turn.

This is why the Chaos Theory AU fucks me up so much and why I had to have one person who even sort of remembered.

Because Cloud knows in a distant way that in an ideal world he will never see most of his friends again. Not in a way he will recognize them. Not in a way they will recognize him. He doesn’t understand it but he knows.

He knows when he learns how to read a calendar and realizes Yuffie hasn’t been born.

He knows when he hears news about the possibility of a Shinra space program in the works.

He knows whenever he hears news about Corel.

He knows every time Tifa looks at him and sees another kid rather than her friend.

He knows that he will never have his friends again, never be able to cling to them as tightly as he dared with his enhanced strength and have them cling back just as tightly. Knows that their little unit that seemed so closely knit will likely never even cross paths.

Tbh without Vincent sort of remembering him through Chaos he might have shattered entirely in this horrific new reality where nothing has happened yet but each and every one of them are walking a tightrope only he knows about.

He misses them, of course he does, sometimes so much that he can’t breathe through it, but he knows that if everything goes right they will never miss him in return.

He wants it to go right.

He wants his family back.