#a part of him will never forgive dhavi and varric for this

[hoboblaidd]

Along the lines of my last ask; how does Solas' early experiences with emotions/aspects other than Wisdom affect his opinion of 'changing' or not 'changing' Cole? Does any, very small part of him relish the idea that Cole will have access to a wider variety of positive emotions/experiences? Or is this possibility entirely overshadowed by the fear of Cole's corruption?

NOT EVEN A TINY LITTLE BIT. THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

Yes, Solas got to experience more emotions when he took a body, but he also lost his self in the process. He didn't truly understand what it would mean to become part of the world that spirits exist to reflect. It’s not even just his fear of Cole getting corrupted, although that's part of it. The bigger issue is that he sees this as Cole losing the very essence of himself. And he's not just guessing - he knows this is what will happen, because it happened to him and reasonably every other spirit that became an elf.

I’m gonna paraphrase a reply to Casadh because again, I'm awful at writing in the abstract.

A spirit is a single emotion made manifest, and it embodies that singular emotion. That is its essence. Basically, that single emotion is its soul, its identity, and the very fabric of what it is, as much as blood and sinew is the fabric of ours.

Becoming "real" dilutes that. Cole’s compassion remained, but Solas saw that he was basically fractured. Yes, Cole can then grow as a human, but he'll never be "Compassion" again. He will never be who he was. That was stolen from him - even though Cole sort of made the choice, like Solas did, Cole can't possibly, fully understand what he's giving up until he gives it up. It's irrevocably gone.

Spirits aren’t meant to embody all emotions. They embody Their emotion, and together with other spirits, enrich the emotional lives of mortals. As Cole says, he gives the right words and “what I am, a little of me making the happiness stronger so the pain fades.” 

Spirits generally don’t want to change when they’re spirits. They want to fulfill their purpose. That’s why Solas is always reminding Cole of that when he gets confused - "Never forget your purpose. It is a noble one, even if this world does not understand."

Manfred and Emmrich are such a perfect example of how spirits are supposed to interact with the world. Curiosity always wants to come through to learn more, and Manfred was lucky or had enough "foresight" to be drawn to Emmrich, who understands spirits better than most people. In the decades they’ve known each other, Curiosity has been able to be himself while learning more of the world - aka, fulfilling his purpose. Even after he gets magic, Manfred is still Curiosity, wanting to learn more and still be protected from corruption or fracturing by someone who loves and understands what he needs to succeed. Emmrich is the reason Manfred's able to survive as himself while still learning and satisfying his purpose.

To wrap it up with Cole, because this makes me emo:

“You found out, but you didn’t change, didn’t make me change. You let me be this, be more. Thank you for helping me find this again. For believing in me. You don’t know what it means.”

But Solas does. In world states where Cole isn't changed, Solas is grateful Cole never has to learn what changing will cost him. Solas has to live with what he is now. He can't change that. But if he can, he'd rather no spirit ever have to go through that.

[skyheld]

APPROVAL + not going with Solas into the Fade at the end of Veilguard, bc she has to be there for her people (for Ameridan)

approval meme | accepting | @keepslore

When she says that after all these years of trying to stop him, after what he tried to do to the world, what he did to Varric and Rook and countless others, she wants to save him—he feels like something shifts. He looks at her and he's not sure he knows her. As his daughter, he does, but in so many others ways—maybe he never did.

It wouldn't be too strange. He was there for such a short time and then he left. In that way, he's not much better than Solas, although at least he got her blessing.

The fear that she could follow him only exists for a few brief moments. He doesn't believe Solas will back down until he actually does, and very little time passes from the moment he agrees to step back into the prison to when the tear closes behind him. Ameridan has a split second realization when Dhavi walks up to him, a split second to prepare for the worst.

But she doesn't follow, and the fear that never had time to build up properly turns into relief, overshadowed by the greater relief that it's over and they're alive and while he will not forgive Solas himself—he is so glad Dhavi didn't have to kill him herself. That she got to chose something kinder for herself. Maybe she needed to forgive Solas for her own sake. If so he can hardly take that from her.

She forgave, but she still held him to his part of the bargain. Solas is in the Fade. Dhavi is safe from him.

AMERIDAN GREATLY APPROVES.

[skyheld]

"Varric acted on the information that came via Dhavi from you. We all did. We found out you were the god of—called the god of lies and trickery, and we chose to trust you, and maybe..." Maybe they were wrong to believe him. Ameridan isn't sure how much he would have believed without Abelas to back it up, but when came from Dhavi... he would have acted on it regardless. If he'd had doubts, he would have kept them private. What choice did they have but to act anyway?

"This is why I do not understand. You told us the bad part. The part that made us enemies. You did paint yourself a villain. Why not tell us only what would have made us help you? You could have—" A thought strikes, and he goes quiet for a moment. "You did not trick us into helping you."

At least not then. But this is what they must have all done these last eight years, picking apart everything Solas once said and did wondering if he ever tried to nudge their actions in a certain direction, dissecting that friendship to see what lies it was made of. And that's the other half of this; it hurts to see Casadh suffer, and it hurts more to see it at the hands of one he called friend, even with eight years bringing that friendship into question.

He is grateful that the way they speak means he doesn't have to hide his facial expressions or his gestures, though he still can't keep emotion out of his voice. He was never good at that and worse after tranquility, without Faith to tether him down. And now he is old and he is tired and everything hurts and there is still work to do.

"We have a common enemy now. If they defeat us—" he still can't bring himself to say by whom, can't speak the word gods or Creators in the same sentence as defeat us "—and the world is consumed by Blight, will you sit here in your—whatever this is, pleased because at least you did not show kindness to Casadh or the Inquisition again? Under those circumstances I would break bread with the Jaws of Hakkon. I would trust the blade to be sheathed."

There was no knife at his throat. Nor would it ever be, if he showed Casadh just a sliver of kindness. They would forgive, they would completely forget the horrors of their nights the moment they ceased. Solas would never be in danger from them unless he forced their hand. But that was not for Ameridan to reveal.

"I know what Abelas would say to that, I do not need to ask. They do not think you a monster. Their heart is soft, and those who tried to harden it did neither him nor the world a favour."

“If they were ill-informed it was Varric’s doing, not mine,” he snapped, and regretted it the moment it came out. It stung. He hadn’t voiced anger at Varric since…the ritual. To think about him now, to speak of him disparagingly, felt like a disservice. 

“Why do you speak as if my interests and those of Rook, of the Inquisition, even, are aligned?” he pivoted. “The Inquisition all but declared me an enemy near a decade ago, and has since devoted what remains of itself to stopping me.” As inconvenient as that had been, he never begrudged them that. Never begrudged her that. She would fight for her people, as he would fight for his own. He wouldn’t have loved her otherwise.

Solas ignored the yawn of the prison as it whispered their last conversation in the Crossroads in Dhavi’s voice. It was a futile torture. He’d replayed that conversation in his own dreams for the past eight years.

“Rook hunted me as part of that for nearly a year. Does that not make us enemies? Would you break bread with the Jaws of Hakkon while their blades were at your throat? Would you show kindness to one who caused the death of your Emperor’s dream?”

But Solas paused in his diatribe and his constant pacing at the edges of his enclosure. Casadh is no more to blame for what is happening now than you are for the fall of our people, or for spirits being trapped behind the Veil.

However Ameridan meant it, it only served to solidify the righteousness of Solas’ firmly held belief. If Casadh’s culpability mirrored his own, then they were as damned as he.

“You come to me and ask that I gentle myself for the sake of their tender heart. Instead, ask Abelas what terror and carnage Elgar’nan can inflict on a whim.” Emotions that Ameridan can no longer name, wiped from existence. The thoughts of thousands of elves burned away until they were no more than mindless husks at his service. The hundreds of the people Solas hadsworn to protect, carved out and displayed like discarded refuse.

“And then ask Abelas,” he continued, his voice hoarse with that unspoken, unnameable emotion, “what gentle appeals to the better nature of monsters can accomplish.” Mythal had died slowly, the day Landalen had become Sorrow, and they had both watched, helpless. Because she chose to talk to Elgar’nan. 

“I will not hold their hand or quiet their bruised emotions. Rook does not need coddling, Inquisitor. Rook needs to be prepared. There is no place in this war for soft hearts and wounded feelings. Not if you want a world that sees another sunrise.”