#a theatre lesbian explained me to someone else today by saying

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

🎟

[maybeimamuppet]

you happened

hey darlings!! happy wednesday!!!

let’s get right into it shall we?

tw for

discussion of canon events in mg (outing, etc)

discussion of canon events in the prom (homophobia, etc.)

this was requested by @spidy-nugget like forever ago so thank you for your patience and i hope you enjoy!

—

“Oh!” Cady says, interrupting herself in the middle of a sentence. “I just remembered! My cousin is coming to visit next week, do you guys want to meet her?”

“Emma?” Damian asks excitedly. Cady nods. “Yes! Is she bringing the-her… Broadway friends?”

“I dunno, she didn’t tell me,” Cady giggles. “But probably, she said they usually visit her at some point every summer.”

“I should probably be there to stop him from combusting if they do come,” Janis huffs. “But also, yes, I want to meet her too.”

“She’s an absolute icon,” Damian says happily. “God, her song. Still makes me cry.”

“You cried watching Finding Dory yesterday,” Janis retaliates.

“It’s a sad movie! Sometimes!” Damian defends. “Anyway, tell me all about Emma.”

“Okay,” Cady giggles again. “She’s a year older than us, and she’s my cousin on my mom’s side. Um… you know her whole… prom fiasco. I’ve only met her in person once when I was ten, for Rhys’ funeral. But we were pen pals when we were really little. And now we just text and stuff.”

“Cute,” Damian says. “And is her girlfriend coming?”

“Oh! Yeah,” Cady says around a mouthful of Janis’ milkshake. “Her name is Alyssa, she’s, like, super smart. Did every possible activity in high school, that kind of thing. But she’s been with Emma when we’ve Facetimed and stuff before and she’s super sweet.”

“Aww,” Damian coos. “I can’t wait!”

————-

Luckily for him, Damian doesn’t have to wait too long. Emma and Alyssa arrive the following week in Emma’s pickup. Damian has been pressed against the window all day, like a small child watching for the ice cream truck. He gasps dramatically when four people in matching sequined tracksuits also hop out of the backseat, grumbling about being cramped together for such a long trip.

Cady opens the door to let everyone in, and is quickly swamped by a crowd of people much taller than her. Janis pops up on her tippy toes to try and find her girlfriend to save her, but doesn’t succeed.

Everyone heads into the living room, and Janis laughs when she finds Cady being carried in like a sack of potatoes by one of the men that came with Emma.

“Emma, why didn’t you tell me your cousin was so adorable?” He demands. “Look at this, she’s so small.”

“Please put me down,” Cady squeaks. Janis heads over and reaches for her.

“Can I have my girlfriend back, please?”

“And she’s gay!” The man says happily, passing Cady over like she’s a small dog. Janis holds her close and smoothes her hair back to where it was.

“Bi, actually,” Cady grumbles.

“Well, aren’t you something. Oh, my name is Barry, by the way. As if you haven’t heard of me.”

“Barry, we talked about this,” Emma chides. “They haven’t. Except Damian.”

“And where is this Damian? I want to meet him,” one of the ladies says. “Oh, and my name is Dee Dee.”

Damian enters shyly and gives a little wave. Janis cackles, “Dude, you’re totally starstruck, look at you!”

“Uh-hi,” he stutters. “I’m Damian.”

“Aww!” The other lady says. “Look at your little cheeks, what a sweetheart! I’m Angie.”

Damian blushes violently as he’s cooed over by Angie. Barry hauls her off to get a good look at him.

“I like this,” he says. “It’s like a mini me.”

“Just don’t break him,” Emma pleads. “Damian, can I trust you to babysit for a while?”

That prompts a, ‘Hey!’ from all four adults, and an eager nod from Damian. “I can show them around town.”

“This is not a town, darling,” Dee Dee says gently. “But what is there to see?”

“We have… uh-“

“There’s an IHOP!” Cady chirps. “And the mall. That’s kind of it until you get to Chicago. Or the lake.”

“This is the most precious soul,” Barry says happily.

“Dame, we did it. I never thought I’d see the day we found someone gayer than you,” Janis laughs.

“Oh, I like this one too,” Barry says. “Funky little lesbian. She dresses like Emma but goth.”

“I do love the hair,” Emma agrees. “I’m dressed more like Cady today though.”

They both look down at their almost-matching flannels and jean shorts, then back at each other with a nod.

“Same boots though,” Janis cheers, lifting a foot. Emma laughs and nudges it with one of her own doc martens. “Nice.”

“Precious,” Angie says. “Okay, we’ll leave you gals alone now. Damian, show us the sights.”

“It would be my pleasure,” Damian says, leading the adults to the door.

“Yes, show us to the… hopping eyes,” Dee Dee says, sounding both bored and intrigued at the same time. Damian waves goodbye to Janis excitedly and closes the door after him.

“Well,” Emma chuckles. “Oh, I hope he’ll be okay.”

“I think he’ll be fine,” Alyssa soothes. “He’s in good company, and he’s a theatre kid, he gets their… vibes.”

“Theatre kid is an understatement for that boy,” Janis tuts affectionately.

“True,” Cady giggles. “Anyway, we can hang out in my room, if you want?”

Emma and Alyssa nod, so Cady leads everyone up to her bedroom. Janis flops onto the bed and Cady crawls in behind her, lifting her head onto her lap. Alyssa and Emma look around curiously for a second before joining them.

“Who did these?” Alyssa asks, pointing to the paintings and collages adorning the walls. “They’re incredible, especially this one. It looks just like you guys!”

Janis flushes as she points to the one she won her art contest with, of she and Damian and Cady all together. “I did.”

“Dang,” Emma breathes. “You have some serious talent, Janis.”

“Thanks,” Janis squeaks.

“No, seriously! Do you have stuff here?” Emma insists.

“A few things, yeah,” Janis says confusedly, raising an eyebrow. “Why?”

Emma lifts her guitar case onto the bed and flicks the latches open, pulling out her famous instrument. It’s covered in stickers and little doodles, much like Janis’ jackets.

“Will you do something on this for me?”

Janis’ eyes go wide. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course!” Emma chuckles. “There’s room down here if you want it visible, or on the back.”

Janis carefully takes the instrument and assesses the material, trying to put an idea together in her mind. She runs to Cady’s desk when one comes to her, where she keeps a supply of basic colors and brushes in case of emergency. Cady doesn’t mind keeping them, they remind her of her girlfriend.

Cady grins affectionately as Emma and Alyssa cuddle in together. “How did you two meet?”

Her cousin turns to smile at her girlfriend. “I kind of always knew of her from school and stuff, but we didn’t really get close until sophomore year.”

Alyssa nods in agreement. “My mom wanted me to be more creative and have another skill or whatever, so she signed me up for guitar classes. Just so happens she was my teacher.”

“You really sucked,” Emma teases. Alyssa scoffs, aghast, and shoves her so hard she nearly falls off the bed. “Ack! Hey, I was kidding!”

“I know,” Alyssa giggles. “I did suck, I’ve never been much good at artsy stuff.”

“I was never good at art either,” Cady chuckles at their antics. “Jay’s tried to teach me to paint a couple times and it hasn’t gone too well.”

She peeks around the other couple to where her own girlfriend is sitting cross-legged on the ground, tongue poked out to the side as she carefully brushes a stroke of paint onto Emma’s guitar. Janis looks up when she feels her gaze, and grins happily when she sees Cady.

“You have the right instincts, I keep telling you,” she says. “You just get cranky too fast and then start attacking me with it.”

Everyone else bursts out laughing. Emma says, “I don’t blame her, I hated art class. What were we talking about?”

“How we met, dummy,” Alyssa huffs, kissing behind Emma’s ear.

“Oh yeah! So, we started off with actual lessons, but then we started getting to know each other more,” Emma explains. “And then I came out and got kicked out, which… a lot of people heard about, so Lyss figured I was a safe person to tell that she was questioning.”

Cady nods, listening intently to the story.

“I came out to her that summer,” Alyssa says. “And she said she’d had a crush on me all along, and asked me out. So we went on a walk and then got coffee and the rest is history.”

“We forgot to mention the serious gay panic I had during our first lesson,” Emma chuckles. “But that’s the gist of it.”

“How cute,” Cady coos.

“What about you two, how long have you been together?” Alyssa asks kindly, flicking Emma’s ear gently as she aggressively plops down onto her lap.

“Four months,” Janis pipes up immediately.

“Man, you crushed on her for that long without saying anything, Cades?” Emma says, impressed. Janis pops her head up and listens in.

“Oh?”

“She never shut up about you for, like, almost a year,” Emma laughs. Cady flushes scarlet and looks down at her lap with a flustered squeak. “I’m assuming it was you, she never gave a name. But it was always a tall, hot artist with cool hair and nice muscles. And I think she mentioned your butt a few times, she thinks that’s cute.”

Janis cackles as Cady flops facedown onto her bed and groans into a pillow. “How cute, I didn’t know that. But I shouldn’t laugh, I definitely wasn’t any better.”

“How did you get together?” Alyssa asks, patting Cady’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Janis snorts from the ground and Cady gives another groan into her pillow. “What?”

“You tell them,” Cady grumbles, poking her face out just long enough that it’s not muffled.

“Baby, it’s cute,” Janis coos.

“No it’s not!”

“Okay, fine, I’ll tell it in a way that makes me look just as dorky,” Janis compromises. “Caddy came to my school in September from Kenya, and she had these adorable little cargo shorts and socks with sandals on, and-“

“Hold on, what?” Alyssa insists. “Kenya?”

“Cady grew up there, her parents are zoologists,” Emma explains.

“How many conversations have we had with her? And you never thought to tell me she’s from Africa?”

“It never came up! We both had a lot going on the first year and then we just didn’t bring it up,” Emma defends. “And now you know.”

“Sorry,” Alyssa says. “Keep going.”

“It’s all good,” Janis chuckles. “Anyway, I fell for her so bad the first day that I dragged Damian into the bathroom at lunch and made him let her join our group.”

Cady pops her head up and looks to her girlfriend. “You did?”

“Yeah, duh,” Janis says. “We’re not known for socializing with the new kids, I just thought you were cute.”

Cady blushes again, but doesn’t return to her pillow. “Keep going.”

Janis chuckles and continues telling the story as she finishes her small painting on Emma’s guitar. “So we became friends that day, and then had… an ordeal, through the rest of junior year and didn’t really reconnect until spring.”

Cady’s told Emma and Alyssa the whole story, so they both nod at Janis’ quick explanation.

“We got really close over the summer, and apparently we were both crushing on each other. But we didn’t notice, somehow. And then I sorta snapped on her birthday this year and decided to fess up, so I made that,” Janis points to the black and white collage hanging next to one of her paintings on the wall. “But before I could give it to her, this little firecracker got wasted and started crying in my lap about how much she loved me.”

“I wasn’t that drunk!” Cady huffs.

“I found you lying on the ground singing yourself to sleep,” Janis giggles. “And you didn’t recognize me, clearly. Just climbed into my lap and spilled your guts. I was lucky it wasn’t literal.”

“Janis Sarkisian,” Cady grumbles. “Behave.”

“Fine, fine,” Janis chuckles. “Anyway, once she sobered up a little bit we had a chat and realized we both had feelings for each other, so we started dating. And now we’re here.”

“That did not make you sound anywhere near as dorky as me,” Cady huffs. “But yeah, that’s… that’s it.”

Emma snorts once the story is done. “That does sound like Cady. But if that’s what it took, then I guess it was worth it.”

Cady turns to look at Janis again. “It was. But you guys went through a lot more than us, that must have been tough on both of you.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Emma chuckles, trying to sneak a peek at Janis’ work. The angle isn’t quite right, so she gives up before she falls off her girlfriend. “You guys went through a lot. But yeah, it was really tough. I’m so lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Alyssa murmurs back. “You guys know the story?”

“I do,” Cady says. “I think Jay and Damian just know the bare bones. It’s your story to tell, I didn’t want to give too many details away.”

Alyssa gives her a grateful smile, and Cady grins back. “Do you want to hear it?”

“Of course,” Janis pipes up. “I finished, by the way. Um, here.”

“Hey, you stole my idea!” Cady jokingly whines when she sees what Janis has done.

“But it’s so perfect!” Janis defends. Emma takes her guitar to see, and smiles at the new lion with a rainbow mane in the spot they’d picked. “And it’s kind of for both of us.”

“This is awesome,” Emma says. “Oh! I get it, it’s a pride thing! Pride of lions, and then… oh. Clever!”

“It was actually Caddy’s idea, she made me a rock with it at pride last week,” Janis says. “I thought it fit.”

“It does, you’re really talented!” Alyssa says, leaning over her girlfriend’s shoulder to see it. Janis’ text tone goes off, so she pulls her phone out of the pocket of her shorts to check it. Cady peeks over to see what it is too as Janis bursts out laughing. It’s a picture of Damian surrounded by his new friends, now in a matching tracksuit all of his own.

jamian: Sent a picture: JAN LOOKIT

danis: nice outfit

jamian: Thank u it really suits me doesnt it

danis: honestly

danis: yeah kinda

jamian: Sent a picture: Thank u

jamian: Anyway we’re going to ihop next yall should meet us there

danis: kk love u

jamian: Love u too

“I think your little crew adopted Damian,” Janis chuckles at Emma and Alyssa, showing them the photo of a very excited Damian.

“Aww,” Emma chuckles. “I’m glad they didn’t kill him, they can be a lot to handle.”

“He seems fine,” Janis shrugs. “Whose truck are we taking?”

“Oh, is that one in the driveway yours?” Emma says excitedly. Janis nods. “It’s nice!”

“We’ve been in Em’s all day,” Alyssa chuckles. “Probably best to take yours.”

“I call shotgun!” Cady yells, already tugging on her shoes and running downstairs.

“As if I’d let anyone else,” Janis mumbles affectionately under her breath.

————-

The waitstaff at IHOP look more than a little frightened at the size of their group, and especially at the crew in tracksuits.

“Ey, yo!” One of them calls. “Guys, come here! It’s that guy from the thing! That show!”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Trent grumbles under his breath. “Why is it always that? I played Hamlet!”

They’re quickly escorted to a large table near the back, and Trent signs a few menus as a little gift to the now very excited waiters.

“Was Juilliard worth it?” He mutters to himself. Angie, who’s sat next to him, nudges him with an elbow to shut him up.

Janis and Emma both order for their girlfriends, and also order themselves the same meal of chicken and waffles. Dee Dee gets french toast, Angie gets an omelet, Trent gets some crepes, and Barry gets the most horrifically sweet looking pancakes anyone’s ever seen. Apparently they’re cupcake flavored.

Alyssa looks very content with her large Belgian waffle, and Cady seems delighted with her chocolate chip pancakes decorated with whipped cream to look like a face. It’s definitely from the children’s menu, but nobody says anything.

“So tell us about you guys,” Dee Dee says once their food gets delivered. She looks eagerly to her friends, as if to say, ‘Look how nice I can be when I want to.’ Barry claps quietly for her.

“What do you want to know?” Damian asks. Dee Dee puts her head in her hands, clearly not knowing how to continue. Trent takes over for her.

“How do you guys know each other?”

“Oh!” Damian says excitedly. “Janis and I have been friends, like, forever. We met in tap dance class when we were three.”

“And you knocked my fucking teeth out in that class when we were five,” Janis grumbles.

“By accident!” Damian defends amidst the giggles of their whole group. “I got really into it. Anyway, so we’ve been friends forever. And then little Caddy happened along in junior year, and we kind of kidnapped her for a while.”

“No, I needed to be kidnapped,” Cady laughs. “I was a total wreck. They actually sort of rescued me from the school bathroom at lunch.”

“You were eating in the bathroom?” Barry asks, sounding both empathetic and disgusted. “Oh, you poor sweet thing.”

“I was the new kid, y’know?” Cady shrugs. “Nobody wanted to eat with the dork from Africa.”

Angie chokes on a bite of her food, and Trent thumps her on the back. “From what now?”

“I’m from Kenya,” Cady giggles. “Well, technically I was born in Oregon. But I lived in Kenya for thirteen years.”

“Just, like, in the wilderness?” Barry asks in shock. “With the lions and tigers and… bears and stuff?”

Cady laughs out loud. “Pretty much. But there’s no tigers or bears.”

“But there were lions?” Trent insists.

“Oh, yeah,” Cady says like it’s entirely normal. “That’s mostly what we were studying. They were kind of my only friends.”

“And they never showed any interest in… consuming you?” Dee Dee asks worriedly. Cady laughs again.

“Lions are just big cats, you know, guys? As long as you’re careful and respect their boundaries they won’t hurt you,” she chuckles. “I got swiped at a few times when I was little, but I never needed more than fifteen stitches.”

“Fifteen?” Angie yelps.

“That is kind of a lot, Cades,” Emma chuckles. “I never had to get more than three as a kid.”

“Oh. Well, I was kind of asking for it, I was playing too rough,” Cady hums.

“With a lion,” Alyssa insists. “Do you have pictures?” Cady nods and passes over her phone for them to scroll through her camera roll.

“Anyway, please keep going,” Angie says, leaning across the table to try to see.

“That’s basically it,” Janis shrugs. “Until you get into the whole mess that happened junior year.”

Cady and Damian nod in agreement. The adults all look very excited at the prospect of some new drama. “Do tell.”

The art freaks all look to one another warily, wondering who should begin. Cady decides to after a second of back and forth.

“Well, um… I sat with these two on my first day,” she begins. “But then just before lunch ended I met these three girls. We called them the Plastics.”

“Why?” Angie asks curiously. Damian shows them all a photo. “Oh. I already don’t like this one.” Janis snorts quietly as she points to Regina.

“Anyway, they said I should sit with them, and Janis and Damian wanted me to so I could spy on them,” Cady says sheepishly. “They have some… personal history.”

“Oh?” Trent asks. Cady looks to Janis, this bit is her story to tell.

“Regina, the one in the middle, outed me in eighth grade,” Janis says. “Carved slurs into my locker, that kinda thing.”

“Oh, honey,” Barry says sadly. “That bitch.”

Janis chuckles weakly. “Yeah. The other two just kind of went along with it. They were just generally bitchy to everyone. But I didn’t have many friends because of her, and I went through a lot of counseling and stuff because of it. Spent some time in the hospital for… reasons, but that’s not… something we need to discuss right now.”

Everyone nods, respecting her privacy. Cady continues telling the story. “So, I pretended to join them and would kind of report back to Janis and Damian. I learned that they had this book, called the Burn Book, where they would write mean things about people from the yearbook and stuff. And at the same time I was crushing for a long time on this boy named Aaron, but he was Regina’s ex. She had dumped him earlier for another guy. And she was actually cheating on him with the other one.”

“Oh, can I tell this bit?” Janis asks. Cady nods and gestures for her to keep going. “So, around Halloween, Cady went to Aaron’s party, and I don’t know exactly what happened, but he basically got back together with Regina.”

“What kind of idiot-“ Trent begins, getting cut off by a stomp on the foot from Dee Dee.

“So poor Caddy came to my house,” Janis says, trying to keep down giggles at the memory. “Fucking slams my basement door open, but Dame and I were watching horror movies. Caddy was dressed as some corpse bride with a knife in her back and everything, and Damian screamed so loud, like, higher than I’ve ever heard. But she was crying, so we helped her and then came up with a revenge plot.”

Dee Dee suddenly looks very interested, leaning forwards slightly and resting her head on her folded hands.

“Caddy had these snack bars from Kenya, they’re… Swedish, I think?” Damian says. Cady nods. “They make you gain weight, like, really quickly. Regina was kind of obsessed with her weight and image and stuff, so we got Caddy to tell her they were actually a diet bar to help lose weight.”

“No,” Angie gasps. Everyone laughs at her reaction.

“Yeah,” Cady laughs. “I don’t think anything major happened until around Christmas. The Plastics did this dance every year at the winter talent show, and we had to wear these skimpy little Santa outfits. But Regina had already gained a fair bit of weight, so her skirt didn’t fit…”

“It fell off in the middle of the routine in front of everyone,” Janis cackles. Emma and Alyssa both look slightly scared of her. “Sorry. Personal vindication. But yeah, that was kind of the beginning of the end for her. Cady kind of… got lost in it, by that point. It was hard to tell if she was pretending or not.”

Cady looks down at her lap in shame, so Janis takes her hand under the table and kisses the side of her head a few times to comfort her. Damian keeps going with the story.

“So, Caddy basically overthrew Regina as Queen Bee of the school. She threw a little party and didn’t invite us or Regina, so she kind of was attacking both fronts. We got pretty mad and stopped associating with her, and Regina was obviously furious,” he says. “And so as revenge for that, Regina photocopied the Burn Book and spread all the pages around the school. I saw, like, seven fights before first period even started that day.”

“But didn’t they know that she had written it?” Trent asks.

“That’s the thing, she put herself in it,” Janis adds, now holding Cady on her lap. “So nobody suspected her. She went to the principal and blamed Gretchen and Karen, they’re the other two, and Cady.”

“I don’t like this story,” Barry whines. “Tell me something good happens.”

“Oh, just wait,” Janis chuckles darkly. “There was an assembly called that day, and they tried to make us apologize to each other and do trust exercises or something like that. I kind of went rogue and only apologized to myself and rallied the rest of the girls in our grade.”

“Go Janis,” Angie says, sounding impressed. “Stick it to the man.”

“Thanks,” Janis laughs. “But it only lasted a few minutes.”

“Damn it,” Barry groans. “What happened?”

“Regina got hit by a bus,” Cady says. Angie spits her mouthful of lemonade over Trent.

“She what?”

“Yeah,” Cady laughs. “So, that time kind of sucked for both of us. She was in the hospital recovering, and everyone was saying that I pushed her in front of it or that she jumped in front of it on purpose because of me.”

“She didn’t die?” Dee Dee clarifies. Everyone is more than a little concerned at the disappointment in her voice.

“No,” Cady chuckles. “Well, she died for, like, fifteen seconds, but she was resuscitated and she’s fine now.”

“And did you push her?” Barry asks. “We’re all friends here, you can tell us.”

“No!” Cady huffs. “I may have been a raging bitch, but I’m not an attempted murderer.”

“You didn’t feed anyone to a lion back in Kenya?” Janis teases gently.

“I’ll do it to you if you’re not careful,” Cady retaliates with a laugh. “Where did we leave off?”

“Regina got hit by a bus and you didn’t push her,” Trent says helpfully, still dabbing some lemonade out of his sweater with a wad of napkins.

“Oh,” Damian says. “Okay, so, I don’t… totally remember what happened in between that and Spring Fling, but it’s really not important.”

“I was suspended for the Book, that’s kind of it,” Cady says, gesturing for him to continue.

“Oh, yeah! Anyway, Spring Fling at our school is basically prom but for underclassmen, prom is just for the seniors. Jan and I were each other’s dates, she decorated our outfits and stuff, we looked killer if I do say so myself.”

Janis rolls her eyes lovingly and whacks him with an elbow.

“And Caddy was banned, so she wasn’t supposed to be there, but she showed up towards the end with the Mathletes,” Damian continues. “And she had been nominated for queen, and she won. So she went up on stage and gave the most beautiful speech I’ve ever heard and broke her crown, and we all got a piece. So now we’re all friends and life is good.”

“Nice ending, Dame,” Janis laughs. “Hasty conclusions. But that it is basically how it happened.”

Everyone blinks at them. Trent says, “That was like being in a war zone. Just one bombshell after another.”

“It kinda was, our math teacher got stabbed in the leg at one point,” Cady hums. “Anyway, what’s your guys’ story? If you want to share.”

“Oh, yeah, I’d like to know more,” Damian says. “Jan and I really only know the bare bones. What was in the news, and stuff.”

“You guys can start,” Emma says, pulling a face as Alyssa gently dabs some syrup off her lip. Alyssa giggles when Emma tries to bite her hand and kisses Emma’s cheek.

“Ooh, okay!” Barry says eagerly. “We were in a show. Well, Dee Dee and I. We were in a delightful little show called Eleanor.”

“As in…” Janis says confusedly.

“Eleanor Roosevelt,” Dee Dee explains. She seems surprised when the kids all nod in understanding. “You’ve heard of her?”

“Yeah?” Cady says, tilting her head. “She’s one of the most famous first ladies of all time, we learned about her in our history class.”

“Not nearly enough,” Janis grumbles. “Gotta make time for the men.”

“Amen sister,” Angie huffs.

“Really…” Dee Dee hums interestedly. “Anyway, it was… not a success. Poor advance sales, and then…”

“We bombed opening night,” Barry grumbles. “Apparently. But it wasn’t the show, it was… it was us. The media panned us as aging narcissists and we had to close.”

“On opening night?” Damian gasps in horror. Dee Dee and Barry both nod sadly.

“Regretfully, yes. So, we had to try to change the narrative,” Dee Dee says. “We decided to find a good cause and do something. So we were going to build houses for Habitat for Humanity.”

“But Barry has a bad back,” Trent pipes up. “So then we thought about, like, recycling or fixing poverty or world hunger.”

“But that was all too much for us to handle,” Angie says. “So I went on Twitter and found-”

“Me!” Emma says. “Apparently that all happened on the same night as the first assembly where the PTA cancelled prom in the first place. I guess we were trending.”

“And they only cancelled it because you two wanted to go together?” Janis asks sadly.

“Yep. Well, nobody knew about Alyssa, but they cancelled it because they knew I wanted to bring my girlfriend,” Emma explains.

“Those bitches,” Janis grumbles. “Sorry.”

“Believe me, we get it,” Emma laughs. “But my bit of the story isn’t quite here yet.”

“Oh, yes!” Dee Dee realizes. “So, we decided to help Emma, but we were completely out of funds and had no way to get all the way to Indiana from New York.”

“But I had just booked a non-equity tour of Godspell,” Trent half-brags. The other half seems rather depressed at that statement. “So we came on the tour bus.”

“Can I start our part?” Alyssa asks. Emma nods and squeezes her hand under the table. “So, they obviously gave no indication that they were coming. Emma and Principal Hawkins had gone to the State’s Attorney by that point and put some legal pressure on the PTA, so we had another assembly to discuss options.”

“We?” Damian asks.

“Oh, my mom was the head of the PTA,” Alyssa says casually. Damian chokes on his drink and Janis nearly drops Cady on the ground.

“Your mom cancelled your prom?” Janis asks in shock. Alyssa nods sadly. “Oh, because you… she didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

“It was what it was. She knows now,” Alyssa hums. “Anyway, I was there to speak for student council. I was mid-sentence, and then they come barreling into the gym with signs and yelling at everyone.”

“Educating everyone,” Barry corrects. “Loudly and with signs.”

“Right, educating. Sorry,” Alyssa laughs. “So my mom totally loses her shit. It’s chaos. I think Trent had a cowbell at some point?”

Trent reaches into a messenger bag next to him and pulls out a cowbell, resting it on the table with a quiet thunk.

“You just keep that with you?” Janis chuckles.

“For emergencies,” Trent explains. “You’d be surprised.”

Janis tries to think of what emergencies she’s faced that would either be helped or solved with the addition of a cowbell, and surprisingly, she can think of a few.

“Of course he keeps it all the time,” Emma chuckles. “I don’t remember… most of what happened that time. But after a few days they announced that the prom was back on.”

“Because of you?” Damian asks, looking to the stars.

“No,” they all say at the same time Emma says, “I think so.”

Everyone looks her way. “I told you this at the time, but you guys really scared people! I think you at least had a part.”

“How sweet,” Dee Dee says. “Let’s say we had an ensemble part in getting it back on.”

That gets a chuckle from everyone at the table, before Barry continues with the story.

“I, obviously, had to take Emma shopping,” he says. “She only had one dress and it was… a travesty would be an understatement.”

“I’m honestly not sure where it came from,” Emma chuckles. “Just think Little House on the Prarie but somehow so much worse.”

“So we went to the mall, and found this lovely blue dress and some good shoes,” Barry says. Emma looks like she would disagree with his choice of adjectives, but nods. “Did her hair and makeup all fancy, and bought her a corsage.”

“Aww,” Cady coos. “How sweet.”

“That part was fun,” Emma agrees fondly. “But…”

“When we got there,” Barry says. “Poor thing was so excited, but it was-it was just-“

Dee Dee continues for him, as Barry gets too emotional to keep going. “It was totally empty. Barry took Emma into the gym, and it was just horrific. There were barely any decorations, and they were just thrown up. I would be stunned if they spent more than ten dollars on the whole thing.”

“Oh god,” Damian says sadly. “I heard it was a fake, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”

“It sucked,” Emma chuckles sardonically, trying not to get too heavy in the middle of an IHOP. “More than anything. I didn’t care about the decorations, I just… it was so lonely, you know? I realized then that so many people I thought cared about me just didn’t. So many people I thought were my friends, weren’t. I had never felt more alone.”

“It sounds awful,” Janis says.

“It was,” Emma mumbles. Alyssa takes her hand under the table and gives it a gentle squeeze. Emma looks up and gives her a sad but grateful grin.

“I was at the… other prom. The real one,” Alyssa continues, seeming ashamed. “I had no idea what they had done, everyone on student council and the PTA hid it from me too. Some of my friends had seen us together and realized I was the ‘secret girlfriend’ and were trying to break us up.”

“Which worked,” Emma admits sadly. “I called her to try to get her to come to my own personal prom so I could at least have her there, but her mom was at the real one with her and she couldn’t leave. And I just sort of… lost it. I hung up and we didn’t talk again for a week.”

“I never blamed you for that,” Alyssa murmurs gently. “You were still trying to process everything and I just added to it.”

“No, you didn’t,” Emma insists. “We can talk more later. Anyway. I ran out, obviously. And Angie actually came after me, which was nice. She just let me cry and didn’t make me do anything. Helped me get my makeup off and stuff. She even slept on my bedroom floor in case I needed something. It was kind of like having a mom there, which I really needed.”

“How fucking old-“ Angie begins, but Trent claps a hand over her mouth. Emma laughs and continues.

“And then the rest of them came by the next day even though I yelled at them,” she says.

“With ice cream!” Barry butts in. “That’s an important detail.”

“Oh yeah, they brought me Häagen Dazs,” Emma laughs. “It was cute. Especially because they thought I wouldn’t know what it was.”

“Can you blame us? You live in the most yeehaw hick town in Indiana,” Trent says. “And that’s saying something.”

“It’s not that bad,” Emma tuts. “Anyway, they brought ice cream and were trying to convince me to do something to bring more attention to what was happening. Dee Dee actually got me on a talk show at one point, but I knew I would never be able to do something like that.”

“You still owe me a house,” Dee Dee grumbles under her breath. “But what she wound up doing was much better anyway.”

“The song?” Damian asks. Emma nods.

“I had it sort of in my head for a while, and I managed to piece it together in about a week,” she replies. “I was terrified, but it was just an overnight thing. I woke up the next day and it already had two million views.”

Alyssa squeezes her hand with a proud smile. “Half of them were me.”

“The other half were Damian,” Janis chuckles. “He made me watch it at lunch one day and we both watched it so many times we knew all the words by the next day.”

“Aww,” Emma says. “You guys are so sweet.”

“We try,” Janis and Damian say at the same time, locking eyes and glaring at each other once they notice. Cady giggles at their antics.

“Anyway,” Emma laughs. “I wasn’t expecting even that many, but people just kept watching, and then I started getting all these comments on it that were so precious. All these other queer kids all over the world sharing their stories too. Eventually it got back to Principal Hawkins and all of them, and they helped figure out how to set up an inclusive prom. And funded it, which was very helpful.”

“Yeah, helpful,” Dee Dee grumbles under her breath.

“Once we saw where the money was going it was so worth it,” Barry says, gently kicking Dee Dee under the table. “It was beautiful.”

“It really was,” Emma agrees. “But god, it took forever to set up.”

“God, yeah,” Alyssa says. “Oh, and we got back together, like, as we were setting everything up, we forgot to mention that.”

“Oh yeah,” Emma says. “Her mom came when she heard what we were doing in the gym because we never got PTA approval-“

“So she was mad,” Alyssa butts in.

“Very mad,” Emma chuckles. “But you came with her and told her to stop talking, which was both hilarious and terrifying. And then you told me you loved me in front of everyone. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.”

“Me either,” Alyssa says quietly.

“Aww,” Cady says, even though she’s heard the whole story before. It’s always a good one to repeat. “How sweet.”

“So after that whole thing we finished setting everything up,” Emma continues, smiling at her girlfriend. “And it was beautiful, even I was impressed.”

“You looked so happy when everyone started showing up,” Alyssa says fondly. “I was so proud of you. I still am. You gave so many people an incredible night they wouldn’t have had without you.”

Emma flushes slightly and looks down at her lap. Alyssa squishes her cheeks in her hand to get her to look back up.

“It really was an incredible night,” she says. “And we finally got to dance together, I think that was my favorite part.”

“That was good,” Alyssa nods. “But you’re a terrible dancer.”

“Hey! Just because I didn’t take dance classes for years,” Emma pouts.

“Oh, hush, I’m joking,” Alyssa says, kissing Emma’s cheek.

“You missed,” Emma continues pouting. Alyssa frowns in confusion and kisses her cheek again, but in a different spot. “You missed.”

Alyssa gives her a chaste kiss on the lips this time, and Emma finally smiles. Alyssa rolls her eyes lovingly. “You’re such a dork, goodness gracious.”

“You guys are almost as cute as Caddy and Janis,” Damian says, trying to snap them out of it and get them to remember the presence of the group.

“Almost?” Alyssa says, her competitive side making a slight appearance. “I think you’re biased.”

“Oh, definitely,” Damian agrees. “We don’t really have any unbiased judges though.”

“True. We’ll say it’s a truce for now,” Alyssa says. “Are we all done? I need to get up for a bit. I’m stuffed.”

“I think so,” Cady says, looking around at all the empty plates around. “We could go to the beach for the sunset, if you guys want. It’s not too far a drive.”

“Ooh, yes please,” Emma says excitedly. The adults play rock paper scissors to work out payment, and Dee Dee grumbles under her breath when she loses.

“Hungry kids. Why are pancakes so expensive?”

————-

“Oh, guys, look!” Damian says, pointing to a window of a thrift shop nearby. “We could go try on dresses!”

“We?” Janis chuckles, carrying Cady on her back. “You gonna get into a ballgown, D?”

“Why not?” Damian asks. “I have the figure for it, shut up.”

“I thought we were going to the beach,” Angie says.

“We can do both,” Barry says, seeming strangely excited. “Wear dresses to the beach.”

“Yeah, yeah!” Cady says eagerly, squeezing her legs together a bit to get Janis to go in, as if she’s riding a pony. “Please?”

“I am not paying,” Dee Dee says immediately. Everyone else nods, that’s only fair.

“Fine, fine. Come along,” Trent says, leading them into the shop as their gaggle of children follow like ducklings.

—-

The employees look a bit concerned as all nine of them parade to the discounted gown section and start looking for ones in their sizes. Damian finds his first, a royal purple gown with a high neck and a slit that would reach about to his knee. He takes it off the rack and heads over to the changing room, rapidly followed by Barry with his silver gown.

“How did-“ Emma stutters. “I guess they knew what they were looking for.”

Angie helps Trent find one that would fit him, an emerald green dress with long sleeves and a nice v-neck collar. He shrugs and follows Barry and Damian. Angie then moves on to find one of her own, and picks out a sleek black dress made of lace and with a shorter skirt, about to the knee. Dee Dee follows with one she seems to have grabbed at random, a nice yellow gown complete with a cape.

Alyssa picks a pink dress with a longer train, since she wore a short dress to both of her real proms and wants to experiment a little. Cady picks a yellow one, with longer sleeves and a bow in the back. The skirt is short, which makes her a little nervous, but she decides to give it a go.

Janis and Emma both look a bit lost, staring aimlessly at the racks and flicking through them weakly.

“Jayjay, try this one,” Cady says, offering a long, red, short-sleeved gown that looks like it would have a rather tight fit. Maybe Cady has some selfish motivations here, but she’ll never admit it. Janis raises a slightly suspicious eyebrow, but takes the dress and hauls her girlfriend off to the changing rooms.

“They all look so itchy,” Emma shudders slightly. Alyssa laughs and takes one of her hands.

“If you got one made of something like this it wouldn’t be too bad,” she says, showing Emma one made of an almost satin-like material. “And it’ll only be a couple hours at most. We’re going to the beach, sand is itchy anyway.”

“True,” Emma agrees with a little nod. “I like this one.”

“So try it,” Alyssa chuckles as Emma grabs an amethyst colored ballgown with a big poofy skirt. “Come on.”

Most of their group is waiting outside the rooms, clad in their ill fitting gowns. Trent’s is a bit too big, Barry’s is missing some sequins, and Angie’s has a small hole in the sleeve, but none of them complain.

Cady and Janis open the curtains to their respective rooms, revealing their dresses to one another. Janis is somehow not tall enough to fill her dress out, which makes her look a bit like Morticia Addams, but she doesn’t mind. Cady’s is almost perfect, but the skirt clings to her legs in an odd way.

“You look nice!” Cady says, gently adjusting Janis’ sleeve as Janis tugs at her collar.

“It’s a bit tight,” Janis says, sounding rather choked.

“I can fix that once we buy it,” Barry says, looking at himself in the mirror. Everyone looks at him in concern. “What? I have a stitch kit, I’ll just cut the collar off it.”

“Oh,” everyone says. Alyssa and Emma exit the changing rooms then, prompting coos from everyone.

“Emmy, you look beautiful!” Alyssa says, pulling her girlfriend into a hug. “The color really suits you.”

“Does it?” Emma says, sarcastically striking a pose. “It feels very… purple.”

“I like purple,” Alyssa hums, adjusting Emma’s skirt.

“You look really nice,” Emma replies, looking at Alyssa’s long dress. Hers is the closest to fitting correctly out of everyone’s.

“Thanks!” Alyssa says, putting her hands on her hips and popping out a knee. Emma laughs and kisses her gently.

“Okay, let’s go!” Angie says happily, having been taking pictures of everyone like a proud mom taking photos for her Facebook. Angie, Trent, and Barry split the cost among them, and they unleash their prom-ready selves onto the public.

—————-

“So you guys just graduated, right?” Alyssa asks, strolling down the shore holding hands with Emma. Cady and Janis are also hand in hand walking next to them.

“Yep!” Cady chirps.

“So you must’ve just had your senior prom too, what was yours like?”

“It was so fun! Damian took me shopping and I had the most beautiful dress,” Cady replies eagerly. “And Janis had a suit to match and it was… she looked… so hot.”

“Ooh,” Emma teases. “Scandalous.”

“Hey,” Cady says. “I’m allowed to think she’s hot.”

“Fair enough,” Emma shrugs.

“What about you guys, how are you handling your post-prom fame?” Janis jokes.

“Pretty well,” Emma chuckles. “Or at least I think we are.”

“You certainly are,” Alyssa murmurs.

“Oh yeah, aren’t you starting a nonprofit or something?” Cady asks.

“Wait, what?” Janis asks.

“I’m trying,” Emma laughs again. “Lyss’ mom is actually helping me. And trying to start a charity looks, like, super good on college applications, so that’s nice.”

“I thought your mom started this whole fiasco,” Janis says confusedly.

“Oh, she did,” Alyssa confirms. “But she’s cool with the gays now. She had a lot of questions and stuff, and she’s still having to work pretty hard at it. Changing opinions and thought patterns that were instilled in you from

childhood is tough. But she’s trying.”

“Yeah, she came to pride with us this year,” Emma says. “It was cute, she had a rainbow pantsuit and everything.”

“Go mom,” Janis chuckles. “I’m glad she turned things around.”

“Me too,” Alyssa murmurs quietly.

“Me three,” Emma says, squeezing her hand.

“So what’s this charity you’re getting going?” Cady asks.

“It’s called the Unruly Hearts Foundation,” Emma explains. “It’s a nonprofit that takes donations and stuff to throw other inclusive events around the country. Create safe spaces. And we also donate a fair bit to LGBTQ+ shelters and stuff, too.”

“That’s awesome,” Janis says. “I’m broke but I’ll donate a bit once I get my commissions business going.”

“Thanks, Janis,” Emma chuckles. “You know, we could use some branding. A logo, stuff for our website. If you’re interest-“

“Yes,” Janis interrupts. “I’m interested. Please.”

“Groovy,” Emma laughs. “I’ll be in touch, get Cady to give you my number.”

“You say groovy too?!” Damian asks eagerly as he makes an appearance. “These two always make fun of me for it.”

“Hell yeah I say groovy,” Emma says, giving Damian a fist bump. “Sometimes it’s the only word that fits the vibes, you know?”

“Yes!” Damian says. “See? Emma gets it.”

“I think ‘tits’ is pretty versatile,” Janis says. “You kind of look like Ursula, by the way, Dame.”

“Thanks,” Damian says, swishing his purple skirt around. “I’m gonna take that as a compliment.”

“It was,” Janis huffs. “As if I’d ever insult you.”

“You called me a ‘fucking deplorable kneecap’ on the way here,” Damian retaliates. Emma and Alyssa rode separately and burst out laughing.

“And now I have grown as a person. Developed myself.”

“It was ten minutes ago!”

“And? I’m not the same me I was two minutes ago, let alone ten,” Janis defends.

“Thank god,” Damian grumbles jokingly.

“Hey!” Janis says, breaking away from Cady and running after him. Damian shrieks and holds up his skirts to run away.

“Do we need to intervene here, Cades?” Emma asks with a slight chuckle as Damian and Janis sprint up and down the shoreline in a sort of oval.

“Nah,” Cady shrugs. “They do stuff like this about once a week. Janis knows she needs him, she won’t actually do anything.”

Just as she says that, Damian takes a hard left and runs full tilt into the lake. Janis pauses for a second before shrugging and running after him.

“Or maybe she will.”

“That water must be cold,” Alyssa chuckles in concern.

“Let’s find out!” Emma says boldly, tightening her grip on Alyssa’s hand and running them towards the water as well. Alyssa shrieks as they leap into the lake with a splash. Cady realizes she’s alone and also runs in, managing a cannonball into the water.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Barry yells, walking up on a sort of puddle of teenagers in soaking wet dresses.

“They’re being kids, let them live,” Dee Dee says. “Unrelated, can you swim?”

“Yeah, wh- don’t you dare,” Barry says, turning to face her.

“Oh, I would never,” Dee Dee says, aghast at the mere suggestion. Trent then comes sprinting up and tackles Barry into the lake. “But he would.”

Angie cackles and high fives her. Dee Dee crosses her arms over her chest and smiles down as Barry pops back up with a splutter.

“Dee Dee Allen!” Barry demands. “Get your ass in here.”

“No, I don’t think I will, thank you,” Dee Dee says casually, rocking slightly on the balls of her feet.

“Oh come on,” Angie coaxes. “It’s only fair.”

“I didn’t push him!”

“You had a role.”

Dee Dee ponders this for a moment before she begrudgingly reaches to take Angie’s hand, and they leap in together.

“Yay!” Emma cheers, delighted that all her friends made it into the lake one way or another. Some of them are significantly less happy about this, but everyone is laughing eventually.

“Hey, Caddy,” Janis says. She swims over to her girlfriend and kisses her gently, before booping her nose. “Tag. You’re it.”

Cady laughs as Janis swims away as fast as she can, rapidly followed by the rest of the group. Cady swims around for a second while she ponders her options to decide who to go after. Emma is a strong swimmer, being on her high school swim team and all. Alyssa is okay, but a bit weaker.

Barry seems to be the slowest, and gives her the best chance of success. He looks very anxious as Cady stares him down before lunging for him. He shrieks as Cady manages to snag his skirt and tap his arm under the water before she backstrokes away.

“Damn it,” he puffs. “I’m having elementary school flashbacks.”

“Better than middle school flashbacks,” Angie calls.

“Amen,” Janis says. She screams as Barry goes for her and swims away, huddling behind Damian for protection.

“Hey!” Damian whines, swimming away from her and creating a sort of three-way chase. Janis quickly gives up on Damian’s protection and swims to Cady instead.

“Protect me,” she pleads. Cady smiles as Janis hides behind her, peeking over her shoulder to check where the threat is.

“You’re so cute.”

“No I’m not,” Janis pouts. “I’m being stealthy.”

“Uhhuh,” Cady says as Janis clings to her like a precious little octopus. “If you get me tagged again I’m breaking up with you.”

“That’s fair,” Janis agrees with a shrug. Alyssa suddenly gives a shriek as Barry taps her leg under the water. “Uh oh.”

————-

After an hour or so of tag, the sun begins to set for the day. The water temperature plummets and everyone swims to shore to watch the sky be painted beautiful shades of pink and orange and purple. The adults and Damian head back to the car to go hunt for towels and dry clothes somewhere.

But Cady, Janis, Emma and Alyssa stay behind, deciding they don’t mind so much if they’re in heavy, cold dresses and getting covered in itchy sand. Cady holds Janis on her lap and Alyssa has Emma in hers, all of them staring out over the expanse of the water before them together.

“You guys should visit more often,” Cady says quietly as the first stars begin to make an appearance.

“Absolutely,” Alyssa says, looking down at her girlfriend. “This was an awesome day.”

“And we’ll have more,” Emma says.

Together.

—-

thank you so much for reading! hope you enjoyed!

lots of love,

ezzy

[lover-of-many-things]

The Thing With Feathers

A/N: So here is the Booksmart fic I’ve been working on. It’s from Hope’s perspective and some of my head canons of why she acts the way she does and why certain things in the film happen the way they do. Let me know what you think, because it’s super unbeta’d so I apologize for any mistakes. I might make it a series with what happens with them down the line if that is something anyone would be interested in. 

Rating: T

Word count: 6.3k

---------------------------------

Hope’s not good with feelings; she can admit that to herself. People can only think you are and call you a bitch for so long because you’re pretty before you become one. And yes—she knows she’s pretty. It’s not even a conceit thing, it’s just a known fact of her life. She’s pretty and she’s a bitch. At least those are the things her classmates have thought of her since middle school. She hasn’t cared enough in the past five years or so to correct them; too focused on just making it through to eighteen so she can leave this town and finally see the world like she’s always wanted. That’s another reason why it’s easier being a bitch—no one close enough to feel sorry about leaving behind.

Except there’s one flaw in her seamless plan to just finish out high school and leave for the summer before heading right off to school. She actually isn’t heartless and may have feelings...that she has absolutely no idea what to do with. Okay. That’s a lie. She’s had feelings for a while that she still has absolutely no idea what to do with.

Hope is fairly secure in her sexuality. Not many people know she’s a lesbian, but that’s just because not many people cared enough to ask—not because she’s ashamed at all. One of the only people that actually knows is Gigi, and that’s simply because that girl has a habit of being everywhere and knowing everything without ever being told. She is definitely weird but Hope doesn’t mind her company when she is around if not only just because of how entertaining she could be. Gigi somehow found out only a few weeks after Hope had come out to her family in Freshman year. She had just appeared at Hope’s locker side as she closed the door one day and said something along the lines of, “Y’know, I was a lesbian in a past life...so far undetermined in this one” before seemingly disappearing within the crowd before Hope could react. Not that she would.

Either way, Gigi isn’t her problem. No, her problem is Amy. Goody two-shoes, class president sidekick, meek as a meerkat Amy. Hope had been paying attention to Amy since they were kids in elementary school—always watching and never really interacting since there was no way she could penetrate the bubble that she and Molly live within, no one could. She watched as Amy followed Molly around on the playground, playing what she wanted to play, as always. She watched as Amy was roped in to being in mock trial in middle school instead of choir. She watched and watched until one day in eighth grade she realized why she was watching. She tried to stop paying attention. Tried not to care. Tried to ignore her heart rate increasing every time Amy brushed past her in the halls. Which is why, when one day Amy accidentally collided with her in the hallway she said what she said.

Even in eighth grade Hope was already above average height, towering over most of the people in the school, so she was completely fine after the collision though Amy had dropped the books she was holding. Determined not to care, Hope scoffed lightly at Amy, bent over to pick up her books with Molly helping her—the two really never separated.

“Watch where you’re going next time, idiot.”

Amy didn’t even look up when Hope walked past her, stepping on one of the strewn papers, but Molly certainly did. She jumped up immediately, calling out a retort that Hope didn’t care enough to listen to, sticking  her middle finger up as she continued walking away.

Thus started her transition from just watching to passively antagonizing. Again—really not good with feelings. Hope continued watching, but whenever Amy stumbled or dropped something she had a comment ready under her breath that Amy could possibly, probably, most definitely hear.

This continued on until the 10th grade—when Amy came out. For the briefest moments when she had deciphered the news from Gigi (of course), Hope had allowed herself to, well, hope. Amy could like her back, she was a viable option now. For a few days she went back to just watching, looking for a sign of anything really when they passed each other in the hall or sat in class. During her surveying Hope only found one thing, and that was that Amy seemingly only had eyes for Ryan, that tatted skater chick. Feeling her heart drop down to her stomach at the sight of Amy sighing over Ryan at lunch with Molly, Hope pushed those feelings right back down and moved onto active antagonization.

She couldn’t just stop watching Amy, but now whenever their gazes met she had a quip or nitpick ready to shoot off at her as if it somehow explained why she stared at Amy more than she did anyone else. The comments became like vitamins to Hope; at least one a day to stamp those feelings further down—not recommended by any doctor. And it helped. Kinda. For a little bit.

Hope continued to watch Amy pine after Ryan as she pined after her and continued throwing comments whenever she could. She was handling it—really, she was—at least, until senior year. She used to be so excited, well, excited as she can get about senior year. The year where she could just coast on through until graduation and then she’d leave and finally see the world, but as the year went on she found that she wasn’t looking forward to graduation as much as she wanted to be. She knew why, but she would never admit it to herself. No, Gigi did that for her.

Hope was at her locker one day, switching out her books between classes when Gigi appeared behind her and startled as much as Hope allowed herself to startle.

“You should really tell her, y’know. Only a couple months left.”

Hope rolled her eyes, used to Gigi’s incoherence. “Tell who what, Gigi?”

Gigi slowly walked her fingers up Hope’s arm as she spoke. “You looooove her.” Hope batted Gigi’s hand away, but she just moved it to play with the tassels on Hope’s jacket.

“Yeah, now I really think you’re crazy.”

Gigi leaned in far too close for Hope’s comfort, not that she would show that, and whispered in her ear. “I’m as crazy as you are a bitch.” With that she yelled for Jared and immediately went into a trust fall that Jared could just barely catch her in before dragging her down the hallway. Hope thought that Gigi was maybe slightly more crazy than she was a bitch.

She went through the rest of her day without a hitch, not really thinking of her interaction with Gigi until she got to her English class and walked past Amy, sitting in the front row. Shit. Gigi’s words came crashing back onto her as she sat down, staring at the back of Amy’s head. She was in love with Amy. She was in love with the meek, small, adorable, funny—these adjectives were getting away from her. She shook her head. Well, that had certainly backtracked her progress of stamping down on her feelings. Sure, she could find Amy attractive but to actually like her? She couldn’t. She couldn’t be in love with Molly’s sidekick bitch...could she? Before Hope knew it, the bell was ringing and people were gathering their things as Ms. Fine was shouting out a last few key points that only Molly and Amy bothered writing down. She quickly gathered her things and left without a word; she had some things to think about.

And think about them she did. For months. Hope turned over every interaction in her head, watching Amy as she stupidly joked around with Molly and registered how cute she found it. She also registered the slight twinge in her chest whenever she saw Amy looking at or talking to Ryan. Those interactions were the ones that fueled the mean comments. She knew it wasn’t nice but hey, she was a bitch and it was self-preservation at this point.

Which brings us to today. The last day of her high school career. She really is ready to be done with school, but there’s just this niggling thought in the back of her mind that she might regret leaving without ever trying anything with Amy. She strolls into class as the bell rings and takes a seat, noting Amy and Molly standing up at Ms. Fine’s desk. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence, especially with it being the last day; they were probably just kissing ass one more time. That is, until they took their phones out. Amy and Molly never took their phones out in class and many people readily called them out on it.

Ms. Fine quickly diffuses the situation as best she can with seniors on their last day of high school, lacking any shits, and sends Molly and Amy to sit down. Hope leans forward in her desk towards as soon as Amy sits down. “Hey Amy?”

Amy turns around, seemingly surprised at someone else other than Molly addressing her. “Yeah?”

“Did you just score your teacher’s phone number?” Amy turned and nods with a cute fraction of a smile on her face.

“Yeah.”

“Nice.” Hope says it with just the right amount of sneer and disapproval that Amy’s face drops and she leans back in her chair. Figures Amy would ask for the teacher’s number before she would ever think to ask for Hope’s. She’s entirely ready to just read her book all period until Jared walks in talking about everyone wearing shirts with his face on it and she just has to shut that down immediately. Then the theatre kids go up to the front of the class to make some announcement and Hope promptly tunes out, content to sit, read her book, and stew in her thoughts.

Once class is done, Hope packs up her things and calmly walks out of the room amongst her rowdy class mates. Her next period is a free period and then it’s lunch, so she decides to find a nice spot outside to read at. She picks her usual semi-shaded spot under a tree and sits against it, bringing one knee up to hold the book against but letting her other leg stretch out. Her free period goes by pretty uneventfully in the real world, but her book kept her riveted. However, once she hears the bell she dog-ears her page and sets the book aside, knowing the rush of students outside would disrupt any reading she could want to get done. Sure enough, as soon as she puts her book aside and reached into her bag for the apple she packed today the doors of the school slam open and her peers flood the school yard.

She surveys the schoolyard as she bites into her apple, looking at the classmates that she will probably never see again after the summer until her eyes land on—of course—Amy, who is looking at—of course—Ryan. She rolls her eyes and takes another bite of her apple. Molly and Amy are talking to themselves and Molly makes, was that a scissoring gesture? With her hands. Suddenly Amy stands and starts walking over toward Ryan, Hope raises an eyebrow in  surprise and a bit in anticipation.

Hope watches the interaction as she finishes off her apple and almost chokes with laughter as she watches Amy slowly and awkwardly walk away holding up a peace sign. What an adorable train wreck. Seeing Amy return to her table with Molly and looking at her phone to see the time, Hope gathers her things and heads inside while there is still some time left in lunch so she doesn’t have to deal with maneuvering through the crowded halls. She makes it to her locker, opening it and hanging her favorite jacket inside now a bit warm from being outside for so long. A couple of minutes later the halls started to fill with other students heading to their lockers, a gentle buzz in the air of anticipation for the half-day to finally come to an end and summer to start. She starts to grab her things from her locker and put them in her bag, ready to never have to come back to this place.

Hope expects some rowdiness, it is the last day of school after all, but she doesn’t expect Molly running out of the gender neutral bathroom that Amy pushed for for years, demanding to know where people are going to school. When Molly runs up to her she answers before Molly can even get all of her words out since she usually only listened to Molly when Amy was around.

“Yeah, no. I don’t care about...whatever is happening here.” She waves her hand, trying to shoo Molly away and she rolls her eyes before moving on to the next person. Hope finishes gathering her things just in time for the final bell to ring. Everyone around her bursts out into screams of celebration at having made it through the year, having made it through high school. Confetti and silly string are thrown into the air and condoms are filled and used as water balloons down the hall. Hope nearly barks out in laughter as she sees one of the condoms nail Molly right in the face soaking her.

Hiking her bag over her shoulder she strolls down the main hallway, gladly taking a condom water balloon to the face, running a hand through her newly wet hair with a smile. She passes Amy on her way out, slack-jawed and rushing to Molly’s side and throws a wave over her shoulder at Nick who tells her to come to his party tonight. It’s supposed to be pretty huge and she has nothing else to do, so she might as well make an appearance and get some free weed and alcohol. It’ll be a nice farewell before graduation to high school and the people she’s sort of tolerated her whole life.

Hope gets home and relaxes for a few hours, just reading in her room, before heading out to the party. By the time she walks into the house, the party is already in full swing; people are doing keg stands, body shots, and jumping into the pool in various stages of undress. She does a couple laps of the party, having a few drinks, and bumming a few hits and even an entire joint that she adds to her collection in her pocket. Once she’s done a few laps she settles into a corner and does what she does best: people watch. And man, are her classmates fun people to watch.

She’s actually having a pretty nice time at the party as the night continues on. She still sticks to herself, but the vibe of the party itself and the energy of the people around her is enough to enjoy the night. She’s not sure how long she’s been at the party when she sees Molly and Amy walk through the door. It’s probably the biggest shocker of the night and she saw someone nakedly backflip into the pool earlier completely unprompted.  Amy is wearing a cute blue sequin dress and it’s not something she’s usually wear, but Hope thinks she looks fantastic.

Hope is once again surprised when she sees Molly and Amy separate, an almost unheard of occurrence. Hope watches as Amy wanders through the crowd and she takes a large gulp of her drink and a deep breath before walking towards Amy, determined to talk to her at least once before she would probably never see her again. However, she only gets three steps before she sees Amy walk up to Ryan and start flirting with her—well, starts Amy’s version of flirting with her. Hope comes to an immediate stop, her good mood souring.

She quickly finishes her drink and walks off to the bathroom, cutting in line despite the protests and locking the door behind her. Putting the lid down, she sits on the toilet and takes one of the joints in her pocket. She immediately lights the joint and starts smoking, ignoring the shouting and pounding on the door from outside. News must travel quickly about who exactly it is that commandeered the bathroom and soon enough the knocks and yelling stop.

Hope gets through a joint and a half before she hears a commotion outside of the room. Curious, she gets up and pops the door open, peeking her head out. She sees everyone walking towards the living room and hears a couple people yelling. Wait no, not just any two people yelling. She hears Molly and Amy yelling. At each other. That is entirely unheard of. Hope can’t really hear what they’re saying, but they sound angry.

It seems as soon as the yelling starts, it stops, and people rush back down the hall to make it look like they weren’t just watching the two best friends have a very loud scream fight in the middle of a party. Hope retreats back into the bathroom, this time foregoing the lock—just in case, her heart says—before sitting back down on the toilet and relighting her joint. She sits in silence for only a few moments before the bathroom door opens and a soaking wet and crying Amy stumbles in, standing in front of the sink for a moment, catching her breath.

“What the fuck?...I locked that.”

Amy looks at Hope over her shoulder, then back at the door before bracing herself on the sink. “Well, I guess you didn’t.” Her voice almost cracks with emotion and Hope just continues to watch her.

“What’s wrong with you? Fight with your wife?” Hope takes a drag of the joint. She slightly surprised as Amy snaps back almost immediately.

“Can you please just...leave me alone.” Amy struggles to get the words out and well, Hope has never really been good at leaving well enough alone.

“Why are you even at a party? Shouldn’t you be like marching in some meaningless protest somewhere...or, I don’t know, in your bed doing homework?”

Amy almost lets out a chuckle. “You don’t even know me.”

Hope just tilts her head, her mind filling with everything that she’s noticed about Amy over the years. “Pretty sure I do.”

“No,” Amy interrupts before Hope can continue, “you’re just one of those people who claims that they’re honest or calling people on their shit when really you’re just mean.” Amy finally turns to look at Hope over her shoulder, and Hope, never one to back down from a confrontation, stands and stalks over to Amy feeling the emotions she’s pushed down for so long bubbling to the surface.

“Wow...no, I take it back. You, are a badass, who takes no prisoners. And cries, in the bathroom at parties.” Hope leans into Amy’s personal space to finish her delivery before stepping back and leaning against the wall with her hand. Amy turns to continue facing Hope.

“Why are you so cruel?”

Hope almost laughs at that, but narrows her eyes slightly instead. “I just don’t like meek people and you,” she looks Amy up and down, “you’re like Molly’s little sidekick bitch.” That seems to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back as Amy fires back more aggressive than Hope has ever seen the girl.

“Well you’re just a basic hot girl, who’s going to peak in high school.” A couple of thoughts fill Hope’s mind in that moment, mainly: Amy thinks she’s hot and holy shit, Amy is hot when she stands up for herself. Her eyes widen a bit at the thoughts and she takes in Amy in that moment, raw, emotional, angry...and beautiful.

She and Amy stay in this bubble for a moment, as the air leaves the room and the tension between them grows. The moment seems to linger before it bursts entirely and Amy is surging up to forcefully meet Hope’s lips. It’s clumsy and it’s filled with force but her lips are so soft, and then Hope is pulling away so that she can reassess. Amy the overachiever, Amy in love with Ryan, Amy the long time crush just kissed her. Hope breathes out a laugh and smiles at Amy, who seems just as surprised by her own actions for a moment before she’s leaning back in and Hope is leaning down to meet her.

Holy shit. This is actually happening. Hope is kissing Amy, and God, does it feel good. Hope helps Amy shrug off her favorite jacket as her hands slide up her shoulder and down her arms, pushing the jacket with it. They both slowly lower down to the floor, not separating their lips for a single moment until Hope feels Amy’s hands slip under her shirt and slide up her stomach. They pull away from each other just to slide Hope’s shirt up and over her head, tossing it aside like her jacket.

Hope smiles as she watches Amy take her in with a half whispered, Woah. Feeling a little giddy Hope connects their lips again, but then Amy falls a bit to the side with a hum. Hope pulls back immediately, her voice soft and betraying her real feelings as she speaks. “Are you okay?”

Amy pushes a strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah, sorry. I just got a little dizzy for a second there.” Hope, seeing just how nervous Amy really is now that the heat of the arguing has worn off, looks at Amy with more care in her eyes than she’d like to admit.

“We can stop, if you want.”

“No,” Amy replies almost immediately, “no, we’re not stopping”

They both give a gentle laugh as Hope once again settles down onto the bathroom floor. It’s as Amy starts to tug off her jeans that she realizes she really is about to sleep with her unrequited crush on Nick’s Aunt’s bathroom floor. Life really does throw you some curveballs sometimes.

Amy only gets her pants off so far before she realizes Hope still has her converse on and moves to get rid of that obstacle. Hope pillows her arm behind her head to watch as Amy adorably struggled with the shoes and then tugging her tight skinny jeans from her legs. Once she finally tugs them free, it’s with enough force to send her falling backwards into the floor. Hope pops her head up as Amy falls backwards laughing as she asks if she’s okay. Amy laughs too and crawls back over before reaching up and tugging down Hope’s underwear.

Like she said—Hope knows she’s hot. It’s just a fact of her life. But watching as Amy took in her half-naked form for the first time?  Anyone would be a bit nervous. She runs her hand through her hair and lets out a breathy laugh as she waits for any kind of reaction from Amy beyond staring, though staring really isn’t too bad and watching Amy obviously enjoy what she is seeing is kind of doing it for Hope.

After a moment and a shuddered breath, Amy finally breaks the silence. “I should probably take mine off too.” Hope could do nothing but enthusiastically nod and offer encouragement in the most eloquent way she could at the moment.

“Yeah.” Amy nods resolutely and starts to take her dress off. Hope gets a better view of the act by resting her hands behind her head, and it’s a view that she certainly enjoys. Her eyes roam up and down Amy’s body repeatedly and Amy brings the dress up over her head, but she feels awkward in the silence as she watches Amy strip so she blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

“That’s a nice dress.”

“It’s all she had,” comes Amy’s muffled reply from amongst the fabric of the dress, speaking again when her head is finally free, “Ms. Fine.”

Hope immediately breaks out into laughter, thinking about her jab to Amy earlier today, “Of course.” Amy joins in on her laughter before lowering herself down on top of Hope, rejoining their lips.

Hope decides she really likes kissing Amy. And it is definitely something she wants to continue doing. So far this thing with Amy has been a bit messy and fumbling, but it’s fun and cute and Hope has loved every second, so she really can’t predict how poorly it could go wrong.

They’re kissing and Hope feels as Amy slips her hand down her stomach, the knot in her stomach tightening in anticipation as Amy’s hand goes lower and lower and lower and oh! lower. The sensation itself doesn’t feel bad per se, just very unexpectedly and Hope maybe kind of pauses a bit to get used to the feeling. Amy, noticing her hesitation pauses as well. “Um...h-how is that for you?”

Hope doesn’t want to embarrass Amy any further, especially not if that means that they stop whatever this is so she hums our a reply. “Um...it’s okay.” Amy continues on with another round of questions instead on continuing on and Hope can’t stand to answer them if hands and appendages remain where they are so she interrupts Amy as gently as she can. “Um- I don’t think that’s the hole you think it is.”

As predicted Amy immediately starts freaking out as Hope tries to mollify her. Amy then starts talking about angles and geometry and Hope can’t help but laugh at the adorable neediness of the statement. “Seriously, don’t worry about it.” Amy apologizes again so Hope is no longer worried about her running away and starts to settle back down, thinking the worst has passed and ready to give it all another go.

Which is why she’s terribly shocked in the next moments when she’s covered in vomit. She doesn’t really process everything that she says rather than a lot of expletives and a lot of ‘get out’s. Then she’s in the shower and the door is slamming shut. “Fuck!” She yells out as she quickly washes the vomit off of herself. Well now Amy will definitely never want to see her again after that disaster. After the initial shock and proceeding anger at the situation fades, which it does quite quickly, she just hangs her head, letting the water fall onto the back of her neck taking a few deep breaths. And if some tears come out with the deep breaths well then the water is just dripping down from her face at a weird angle. After a few more minutes she shuts off the shower and slips her clothes back on. She pauses at the extra pair of underwear on the floor, immediately knowing who they belong to, and picks them up, slipping them into her jean pocket. She runs a hand through her hair, shaking out some of the moisture on its way through for good measure before slipping on her jacket and leaving the bathroom, heading straight to the front door.

She quickly finds a ride home and slips into bed, really fucking ready to graduate tomorrow and leave this place behind.

—————

Hope wakes up to having her phone full of notifications. She wipes her eyes blearily as she flips through them. Cops came to stop the party. Yadda yadda yadda. Amy saved everyone else from getting caught. Yadda yadda—wait. Hope goes back to the last notification and watches a video that seems to have been taken from a bush of Amy getting put into the back of a police car. Hope can’t help but laugh as Amy is put in the back, nervously running her mouth as she had the tendency to do.

Hope sighs and drops her phone to her chest, deciding then and there that she’d talk to Amy today after graduation to see if anything could be salvaged from the wreck of last night. Checking the time, Hope rolls out of bed and gets ready for the ceremony.

——-----------

By the time everyone is told to sit down in their seats by the principal, neither Molly nor Amy are present. Everyone is talking about how Amy is in jail and how unusual it is for Molly to be late—especially to graduation. The principal starts the ceremony anyway and Gigi starts up the piano as Jared gets on stage and starts to read Molly’s valedictorian speech.

He only gets a few lines in before a distant revving is heard and a car—Jared’s car to be exact—smashes through the fences and swerves across the track and field before finally coming to a stop. Her peers start to cheer but all Hope can focus on is Amy getting out of the driver’s seat and running up into the stage with Molly. That—had been extremely hot and Hope has to check to make sure she isn’t slack jawed or anything. Molly grabs Amy’s hand and raises it above their heads, causing a loud cheer among the students that Hope even joins in with, clapping and laughing at the display.

Amy sits down at her chair and before Hope knows it they’ve graduated. She is no longer a high school student and is finally free. Amy is whisked away before Hope can pull her aside to talk, but Gigi pops up, hugging her around the shoulders and taking a deep breath and possibly a taste of her hair. “There’s still time. Also avoid the Rio Grande in your travels, I think you might drown there.”

Hope can’t do anything other than laugh and make a mental note about the Rio Grande; Gigi might be certifiable but she also had very good intuition and Hope isn’t sure she’s willing to take that chance just to see a river. As soon as Gigi appears she is gone, as per usual, and Hope goes over to her family ready to head home.

She sticks around home long enough for her parents to congratulate her and have a celebratory meal, but as soon as she finishes eating she excuses herself. She grabs a plastic bag from her mom’s bag of bags and goes to her room, placing in the underwear that Amy had forgotten the night before.

With a call out to her parents that she’d be back soon, Hope leaves her house and starts walking to where she knows Amy lives, swinging the bag and it’s contents at her side. She could drive but it’s only a fifteen minute walk, and Hope enjoys the fresh air and time to think. Today she has a lot to think about so it seems like she’s approaching Amy’s house in no time at all. She stands nervously on the front step for a moment, shifting from foot to foot before shaking the nervousness off and knocking on the door.

It’s opened a few seconds later by a man Hope now recognizes as Amy’s father from graduation. “Hi, can I help you?”

“Um, yeah- hi. I have something for Amy. I’m one of her classmates.” Hope shakes the bag a little as she speaks.

“Oh! Well isn’t that nice. I’ll go get her. Unless, do you want to come in? She’s just packing for her trip with Molly and her mother.”  Right. Botswana. Hope rubs at her jean pocket, extremely aware of what she had put inside it right before she left home. This is definitely not a conversation she wants to have with Molly.

“No, thank you. I’ll just wait out here if that’s okay.”

“Absolutely, I’ll go get her” Amy’s dad smiles and closes the door. Hope takes a deep breath and steps away from the door, moving to lean back against the side of the house right by a window which, peeking in for a second, she can see it’s definitely Amy’s room. She looks up at the sky, both finding it calming and using it as time to collect her thoughts.

A couple of minutes later, Amy slips out from behind the door, looking entirely the part of a lesbian, and gently shuts it behind her.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Amy slowly approaches where Hope is leaning. Hope holds up the bag between them saying the line she practiced on the walk over.

“I figured I’d bring back your clothes.” Amy takes the bag and Hope holds back a smile when their fingers brush.

“Thanks so much. I don’t- I don’t usually leave my underwear in places that...aren’t my room.” Hope can’t help but smile at the awkwardness of the situation and how adorable Amy is. Hope pretends that she doesn’t notice Molly freaking out at the window behind her and instead listens as Amy keeps talking. “So how-um...ar-are you okay?”

Of course Amy is still worried about that, Hope thought as much would happen, especially given her reaction last night. She shrugs nonchalantly as if nothing happened at all. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she gives Amy a look up and down, “are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Amy looks around at just about everything except hope, “uh...Y’know. Prison kind of changes you.” It isn’t until Hope, playing along, nods seriously with a hum of affirmation that Amy finally looks at her with a smile and laugh. “But, uh, I’m fine...sorry, I just really don’t know what I’m doing with all that stuff yet.”

Hope suddenly more bashful than she’s used to being looks at the floor, not wanting to admit just how much she enjoyed last night. “Well, for someone who has no idea they’re doing, you kinda know what you’re doing.” She punctuates the statement by looking Amy in the eyes and raising her eyebrows, hoping that she’ll make the connection. She smiles as she can see what she said register on Amy’s face.

“That’s...” Amy shakes her head, “ah—um that’s cool.” Hope laughs, finding her so cute  as she fumbles over her words. “So. How-how’s your summer going?”

Hope furrows her brow humorously; they literally just graduated a few hours ago. Amy, obviously realizing her mistake continues talking. “I mean, what are you doing for-for the summer time?”

Hope breaks out into a gentle smile, not able to keep up a judgmental facade for any longer than necessary around Amy anymore. Not after last night. “I think I’m gonna backpack around for a bit.”

“Really?” And Hope can’t help but think that Amy sounds a bit hopeful. She nods.

“Yeah.”

“Where?” That is certainly a question the Hope has herself. She’s more of a let the journey unfold itself kind of gal. She laughs and shrugs.

“I don’t know, honestly anywhere I can find a couch to crash on. I just—Y’know I just wanna see some stuff before college.”

“That’s really cool—that’s, me too, that’s why I’m taking a gap year”

“Yeah?” Hope questions as she slips her fingers into her pocket, grabbing the slip of paper.

“Yeah.”

“Alright. Well, uh...have fun, nerd.” She pulls out the piece of paper and extends it out towards Amy. She could have just asked Amy for her phone and typed in her number but Hope has a thing for physical things; the paper and pen. Nothing beats it. Plus, she thinks it’s kind of more romantic and a classic move.

Amy just stares at her extended hand for a moment and Hope doesn’t want to actually ask Amy to take her number since that would be kind of sad—even though she totally would and hates that she knows that. She raises her eyebrows and flicks the piece of paper out at Amy again. Amy finally takes the piece of paper with her number on it and a little message about how she better message her since they had unfinished business to attend to.

Hope longs to touch her fingers to Amy’s and maybe run them down her arm and then maybe even further—so she steps back and turns to walk away before she acts on any impulses. Especially with Molly very intendedly watching from the window. Hope accomplished what she came her for and she’s honestly pretty proud of herself; she has a strange passing thought that Gigi would be too.

“Um,” Amy calls out and Hope turns around to face her, now a safe distance away, “Well if you ever end up in Botswana...you’d have a couch to crash on.”

Hope, realizing that Amy wants to see her over the summer and genuinely wants to see her again even after the Disaster™️, smiles. “Okay.” She turns back around to continue walking, not wanting Amy to see just yet how giddy that makes her.

“Well, technically it won’t be my couch, cause I’ll be staying with a family, but I’m sure they’ll be cool with it.” Hope laughs and throws her hand over her shoulder in a wave as she walks, giving Amy one last look.

“Okay.” She brings her hand up to her face rubbing at her cheeks, still stuck in a small smile, and let’s her hand run along the flowers of the bushes at the end of Amy’s drive way as she turns the corner. If Hope was someone who squealed, she would definitely be squealing right now. She lets out a breathy laugh and runs her hand through her hair; which is as close to squealing as Hope gets.

She continues on toward home; she has a whole backpacking trip to plan around one destination: Botswana. She feels her phone vibrate in her pocket and immediately reaches into her pocket, excited at the possibility of Amy already texting her. Her excitement fades as she sees Gigi’s name on the screen.

She opens the text, curious.

Told you so. Also, remember. No Rio Grande.

Hope quickly lifts her head and looks around, seeing no one. “What the fuck, Gigi!?”

[missjanjie]

Branjie Fic - Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer (2/?)

Title: Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer Summary: Brooke Lynn is a graduate student anxiously embracing her new position as her favorite dance professors’ new TA. Vanessa is a sophomore dance major who just might make her way into being more than the teacher(assistant)’s pet. (lesbian/university AU) Word Count: ~2.4k (this chapter)/~5k (total) Relationship: Branjie (Vanessa ‘Vanjie’ Mateo/Brooke Lynn Hytes) Rating: T Note(s): rating is subject to change, this is based on the story so far

Read on AO3 | Ch. 1 

While it is called the ‘fall semester’, classes always start during the summer, often at the end of August. This gave way for heatwaves hitting in the middle of the week, especially in densely-packed places like New York City. No one talks about this time of year in the city that never sleeps – it is devoid of the awe and whimsy that so often surrounded it in media. Artists don’t wax poetic about days like this, where the air is thick and hazy and smells of sweat and melting garbage. Where, despite it being the lunch rush, the streets were scare, and everyone is hiding in the comfort of air conditioning or high-powered fans.

Cut to the graduate student residence hall – more specifically, Brooke’s apartment. There, she and Nina sat on the floor in sports bras and shorts, drinking glass after glass of ice water and being eternally grateful that the a/c had been fixed just before the start of the semester. Nina looked on as Brooke stared catatonically at the ceiling and nudged her leg with her foot to get her attention. “I don’t think I’ve ever had to say this to anyone but myself, but I think you’re being overdramatic,” she told her.

“I’m not!” Brooke sighed in exasperation. “It’s only day two of the school year and I’ve already kissed a student. I couldn’t manage a full twenty-four hours on campus without jeopardizing everything,” she groaned, now laying on the floor. “It wasn’t even a cute cheek kiss, I almost slipped her tongue, Nina!”

Nina didn’t mean to laugh, trying to cover her mouth when she snorted. “What exactly do you think is going to happen? That she’s gonna tell Katya? That Katya’s gonna fire you?” she didn’t let her answer before she continued, “I don’t think you’re actually afraid of getting in trouble. I think you’re afraid of catching feelings for this girl.”

“Thanks for the insight, Dr. Phil,” Brooke huffed and pushed herself back into a sitting position. “Look, just because she’s beautiful, funny, and kissing her made me feel like glitter was exploding inside of me, doesn’t mean I’m about to fall for her.”

Nina stared at her blankly, hardly able to believe the level of denial she was stuck in. “Do you hear yourself? Because you sound ridiculous.” She swung her legs over to the side so she could shift and look at her. “You know it isn’t the end of the world to have a crush on someone, right? It’s a thing that happens to most of us humans every now and then.”

Brooke groaned and buried her head in her hands. “But why did it have to hit me now?” she couldn’t help but wonder, if it was in another time and place, would she be this stressed over the encounter? She supposed it was possible that she would try to find another excuse, or maybe she’d be in Vanessa’s bed instead.

“Because sometimes life is an asshole that takes its joy in screwing with you, and you just have to tough it out. That’s how I got into comedy,” doing improv and stand-up had become Nina’s way of coping, and Brooke’s way of coping was…not.

And she couldn’t counter her point either, leaving her pouting and looking at the floor. “So, what am I supposed to do in class tomorrow?”

Nina shrugged. “Just try not to make a big deal of things, it’ll just be business as usual. I’m sure she’s just as nervous and confused as you are.”

“She wants me,” Vanessa said to her friends. They were all sat in the dining hall during lunch, the group having just listened with interest as she recounted the events of the day before.

“You sound real confident about someone that deadass ran away from you,” A’keria retorted, pointing her fork at her as she spoke.

Vanessa shook her head, swallowing the food in her mouth before speaking. “Nah it wasn’t a ‘running away’ moment. She just got cold feet, I ain’t taking it personally,” she sat upright with a smug grin, proving a sincerity in her belief.

“So, what are you gonna do next? Like in class?” she furrowed her brows.

That was when she realized she hadn’t actually planned ahead, which was never her strength in the first place. While it was often a hindrance academically, she usually enjoyed the spontaneity that came with potential budding romances. But with Brooke? She might have to take another approach. “Gotta play the long game, babe.”

“The long game?” Blair chimed in. While she had a girlfriend, she was endlessly interested in her and A’keria’s dating lives – especially comparing and contrasting the two. They were both extroverts that thrived at a good party or club and were openly flirtatious with whoever caught their eye. The difference, perhaps, was the number of girls that caught their respective eyes – A’keria didn’t like leaving any outing empty-handed, while Vanessa had the tendency to pick and choose, even when drunk beyond belief.

Vanessa clicked her tongue and smirked. “She ain’t just gonna get with me overnight – you gotta finesse that shit when you’re aiming for, you know, a lady of Brooke Lynn’s caliber.”

“As opposed to us hoes?” A’keria arched her brow.

“Exactly, bitch!” Vanessa laughed.

“I think it’s sweet,” Blair hummed. “You’re changing your major to Brooke!” she said to a pair of blank stares. “Fun Home? Seriously? God, I waste my best musical theatre material on you guys,” she huffed.

Even though Vanessa didn’t understand the joke, she understood what Blair was getting at. Out of curiosity, she looked up the song she’d referenced, listening to it on her walk to class. “Oh, I get it now. That was clever,” she said to herself before she sat down in the lecture hall.

The class was about half full when she arrived, students filing in for the next five minutes or so. At one point, a girl took the seat next to her. She sat poised and upright – Vanessa wondered if she was a dancer too. “Nice bling you got there,” she told her, gesturing to the large earrings that stood out against her shaved head.

“Thanks,” she replied, casually looking her over. “I’m Yvie.”

“Vanjie.”

She quirked her brow. “Is that your given name?”

“No, it’s Vanessa. But that’s what I go by,” she replied, rifling through her bag and humming quietly to herself as she took what she needed out.

Yvie nodded in understanding, looking forward and scribbling aimlessly along the margins of her notebook paper. “So, what’s your major?”

“Brooke.”

“What?”

Vanessa’s eyes widened and she shrunk down, momentarily considering walking right out of the class and calling it a day. “Dance! I-I meant to say dance,” she sputtered out. Oh, she was going to get Blair later. It was her damn fault bringing up that musical.

“I’m not even gonna ask, girl,” Yvie shook her head. It was more out of sympathy, seeing how embarrassed she was, than an actual lack of interest. Frankly, she was much more tempted to press for more information, but then the professor called attention to the front of the class, and the various conversations died down, much to Vanessa’s relief.

Wednesday morning, on its own, seemed to promise a better day. The heatwave had passed, and the city was bustling with its usual energy. Even in the dance studio, Katya was the first one to arrive, which gave Brooke – who came in next – one less thing to worry about. She decided not to tell her about the kiss, lest she be subjected to an ‘I told you so’, making her hope all the more that the class would go by without incident.

Brooke scanned the room as each student entered, trying to make it seem like she was paying every one of them the same amount of attention. But then Vanessa walked in and suddenly no one else existed. This time she had on shorts and a tank top, and her hair was tied into a neat bun, and Brooke was able to study her for a good couple moments before their eyes met.

“Morning, Brooke,” Vanessa still seemed happy to see her, but her tone was calmer, more controlled. It was the same tone she had when she comforted her in Starbucks, and it brought on the same sense of ease it had then.

It baffled her, when she thought about it. Brooke’s emotions were so easily swayed – Vanessa could get her riled up and calmed down within the same conversation. That sort of thing might bother others, but it had something of an addictive quality to it. She wanted to get to know her more, to get another hit of her energy. “Good to see you, Vanjie,” she replied. And she meant it, truly.

After Brooke took attendance, Katya stood at the front of the class to begin the lecture. “Today we’re going to work on having to work with a partner. I know you guys touched on some dances last year, so we’re going to build off of that. I’m just going to go down the line and pair everyone up,” she paired up everyone as she walked across the studio, until she got down to the last three girls. “Looks like we’ve got an odd number today.”

One girl shrugged. “It’s fine, we can work in a gr—”

“No, no that just work,” she looked at the three girls, making it seem like she was really thinking about it. “You two pair up. Vanjie, you can work with Brooke,” she announced, actively refusing to acknowledge the way Brooke was staring her down.

The devil works hard, but Katya works harder, Brooke thought as she got up and went to sit by her new dance partner. She tuned out while Katya explained what dance steps they’d be doing – she had gone through all of this before and knew it by heart – especially considering how many times she had gone over the lesson plans. Instead, she took that time to remind herself to stay calm, that the only reaction she should have is no reaction at all.

“You ever tango before?” Brooke asked as she, Vanessa, and everyone else got to their feet.

“You heard her, we did this last year,” Vanessa shrugged as a simple tango tune filled the room from the speaker Katya hooked up to her laptop.

And each set of partners assumed the starting position – one hand on the other’s shoulder and the others clasped together out to the side. Some students were counting the steps out loud, while others were doing turns and back cortes.

Unsurprisingly, Vanessa was on the more advanced end of the spectrum, demonstrated both by her skill and her desire to take control. “Why can’t you let me lead?” she huffed.

“Grow six inches and we’ll talk,” Brooke retorted, dipping her in time with the music, earning her a scowl from the shorter girl, but she only found it as cute as her smile. Almost as if to further flaunt her size advantage, she moved her arm around Vanessa’s waist, lifting her up for a twirl.

But Vanessa was quick on her feet. She landed and wrapped a leg around her waist, and Brooke put a hand on her thigh and pulled her close. Another dip, and back up. As the music died down, they came to a stop, breathing heavily, close enough for their breath to hit each other’s faces.

“Now that’s a tango, ladies!” Katya had apparently been going from pair to pair, coaching and critiquing, not that this pair would’ve noticed. “I call it The Tango: Branjie!” she said with jazz hands for flourish. “Get it? Because, you know, you—and she—" she looked around at the stone-faced class. “Damn, tough crowd. Class dismissed,” she shrugged and walked to turn off her laptop.

“For the record,” Brooke said as she set Vanessa down and took a few cautious steps back, “as the student, I think you should get the credit. It’s called The Tango: Vanjie now,” she turned to gather her things, but Vanessa didn’t budge.

“I like the ring that has to it, but I ain’t leaving til we talk about that kiss,” she stood firmly, hands on her hips and head held high, only to cock a bit to the side as her pursed lips twitched to a smirk. “Or til I get another one.”

So that was how it was going to be. Brooke was impressed by Vanessa’s boldness, and perhaps a bit aroused. She gently placed her fingers under her chin, tilting her head up and pressing a kiss to her lips. “Goodbye, Vanjie,” she whispered sweetly, tapping her cheek lightly before sending her on her way. It was when she stood back up and turned to pick her bag up that she let out a frustrated groan. “Fuck, you’re still here.”

Katya was bouncing on the balls of her feet with a cheshire grin. “This is the best moment of my fucking career, bitch,” she ran over to Brooke and grabbed her hands, jumping up and down. “You guys are gonna have such crazy sex!”

Brooke’s eyes widened and she clapped her hand over Katya’s mouth. “Not if you keep running your fucking mouth!” she hissed in a stage whisper. She waited a beat, then let her hand drop to the side. “I swear, if you breathe a word—”

“Would you turn the paranoia down for like, five minutes to realize no one’s out to get you for whatever happens between you and Vanjie?” Katya gripped on to Brooke’s shoulders. “I think you need to go home, have a drink and a smoke, and go rub one out. You’ve got plenty of new material, now,” she bumped her elbow into her side.

Brooke exhaled and shook her head. “I’m gonna kill you,” she muttered before stepping out of the studio. She had only taken a couple steps towards the exit when she paused and turned around. Of course.

“So,” Vanessa pushed herself off the wall and took a half-step towards Brooke. “You off to follow Professor Katya’s advice?” she asked with the same type of grin the aforementioned woman had.

“No,” Brooke scoffed and tossed her hair off her shoulder. She waited until she saw something of a disappointed look on her face before adding “I’ve been trying to quit smoking,” she bit her lip and winked before turning on her heel and walking out of the building.

Vanessa was left stunned, but well-affected, nonetheless. “Just keep playing the long game, Vanjie. She’ll come around.”

[canaryatlaw]

Today was decent. Not particularly thrilling but nothing this week has been. Tomorrow is my last full day here and I'm having mixed feelings. Like part of me is kind of sad the trip is over already, but part of me also feels like I have been here for a while now and it just doesn't feel permanent to me, like it doesn't feel like home, it doesn't feel like my life. And I guess that's kind of sad given this is where my family lives, but it's just not my everyday, not where I always want to be. I want to be at work because I love my job, I want to be at school because as hard as law school is I so enjoy being there, I want to be at my church because the people there are amazing and I feel like I can connect with God without having to deal with all the righteous hypocrisy that plagues too many of the churches I've been to. That stuff is my life, and none of that is here. I feel guilty when I see things like my mom's post from yesterday though, like her worrying about me living so far away, and like, I don't want to make my mom sad of course, it's just....I don't know. It's complicated. Family stuff I'll maybe work out in therapy some day when I have the time and need to do so. But anyway. I woke up earlier than I have been and couldn't fall back asleep. I originally actually woke up at 5:39 am and couldn't fall back asleep but did after a while, then rewoke up at 10:39 am (I shit you not) and couldn't fall back asleep again, at which point I said fuck it and got out of bed. I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom and when I opened the door my brother jumped out and tried to scare me, and I jumped a little bit. I went downstairs and talked to my mom, and she suggested we go get food again lol because she likes going out with me, she said we could go to the same place again but I said 3 times in one week might be a bit much....so instead we settled on another cute breakfast place by us that also happens to be where I'm going with my cousin and brother tomorrow.....but hey, we don't have unlimited options here lol. So I go back upstairs to get changed, and wait outside my brothers door for like 10 minutes waiting for him to come out and jumped out at him, which was very much worth the wait. While I was waiting, our golden retriever who's not supposed to be upstairs but sneaks up there anyway pushed the door to my room open as it want closed all the way, then it drifted closed behind him and he couldn't get out and started barking.....crazy dog. So then I got changed and drove to the breakfast place. I was gonna get French toast or pancakes or something being that I pretty much always get something like that, but instead decided on getting an egg sandwich because my sister had one the other day and it looked really good, plus I'm going back there tomorrow so I can always try the other stuff then. And maybe I should try to eat less sugar because I eat a lot of sugar, lol. So I got a bacon egg and cheese on a roll sandwich (with a side of fruit) that was quite good, so we had a nice little meal. After that my mom wanted to stop at trader joes so we did that, and they were giving out samples of their caramel nut popcorn called "Rosencrunch and Guildenpop" and who can name that slightly obscure theatre reference?? I was sufficiently amused. While we were checking out we were about to get on one line when my mom saw someone she knew so she went to get online behind them and they're talking and going on, and the cashier and I are just like, standing there looking at each other like welp, lol. Of course later in the transaction my mom runs into ANOTHER person she knows, so that was even better, and the cashier and I are just like laughing at this point. Like I mentioned earlier, she was definitely flirting with me a bit and I didn't really mind lol. I mean, it's nice to have attention? Occasionally I'll wonder that if because I have short hair and don't always wear make up/sometimes wear not the most feminine clothes people might think I look like a lesbian, but it's not something I give that much thought to (okay that might be a little bit of a stretch, I give a decent amount of thought to it). It's just....complicated due to growing up in a ridiculously homophobic Christian environment and still having brothers who throw around words like "dyke" on a regular basis (like "I saw these two dykes at the bar the other day kissing") and it's just...strange for me at least. It doesn't carry over into my thoughts on anyone else, at all, it's just something that enters my mind more than I would like it to because it's really fucking stupid and I know I really shouldn't give a crap anyway......this is becoming an unnecessary rant that I'm probably not even explaining well enough, so I'm just gonna end that here. It's complicated. But anyway. So we had a nice little interaction before we left the store. After that my mom wanted to stop at marshalls and shop for a bit. Ever since I started needing business like clothing and have needed a good bit of it (this semester I'll be in business wear 3 days a week, last semester it was 4) I'm always trying to find different combinations and such, which makes me go kind of marshalls crazy because they have a ton of good stuff for that. I was mostly looking for solid color tops and solid color pants to match with my many patterned tops and pants, and also just to get more pants in general since it's getting cold now and being in a skirt is becoming less ideal. So I did quite a bit of damage in that area haha, they just have some really good stuff for that, so I got a bunch of cute solid color things and a few patterned things because I'm weak, okay? I did get a white sweater with black stars that look kind of drawn on and it's totally my *aesthetic* and I was very pleased with that lol. But we finished up there and headed home, and shortly after getting there my sister got home from school and wanted to go to chickfila because of course she did, so I took her there. I was still kind of full from my earlier meal, so I just got a yogurt parfait (with chocolate cookie crumbs, of course). So we sat and ate that did a while and it was nice. We started talking about movies a bit and decided we would watch 400 Days when we get back, so that's what we did. I probably made it worse for myself by reading the damn review that made it seem like the creepy zombie guy was like, the entire second half of the movie, instead of like in two stupid scenes. So when he showed up I started freaking out a bit lol and then he disappears so for the whole rest of the damn movie I'm like omg he's gonna pop out any second now and he does come back eventually and Brandon Routh's fucking character lets him out of the cage he was in because ??? Lol, but other than that it was a pretty good movie, not really scary but definitely thriller. The plot does seem kind of aimless at points, like it sets you up for a big reveal and then kind of just drops off. Brandon and Caity were freaking awesome in it though, Brandon's character was cracking me up because he starts it getting bailed out of jail for being in a bar fight and I'm just like....lol, definitely no Ray Palmer here. And he's talking about how upset he is that his girlfriend just dumped him, who we then find out is Caity's character, who's also going into the 400 day simulation with him and just two other people.....kind of awkward eh? Lol. And then we find out later (spoiler alert) the guy running the simulation told her she had to break it off with him if she wanted to do the mission because it wasn't the kind of data they wanted or some bs like that and his character gets really mad that she didn't tell him....and then Tom Cavanagh shows up for a while and his character is just like....???? What the hell are you doing here??? Very random lol but fairly entertaining. Then of course the end is like the thing goes off saying oh your simulation is done come outside we're all here to celebrate with you but they had just been outside and it was like this desolate wasteland with crazy people and moon dust, and then it's just the two of them and they hold hands and then it just ends without showing us what happens and I'm like......dude, you're killing me!! I don't like not knowing what happens, lol. But overall it was a pretty good movie that I enjoyed and I'm just gonna pray I don't get too many nightmares from it because that's usually what happens when I watch scary movies and I'm so not a fan. But anyway. After that we kind of skipped between a few different things, and watched like one song's worth of the recording of Shrek the musical (not my choice) but my sister eventually settled on what to expect when you're expecting, which we watched back in like 2013 when we were just binging rom-coms and she wanted to watch it again. I liked it again the second time around, I forgot wha happens with Anna Kendrick's character and that made me sad but otherwise it's a pretty well done and cute movie. After that I just hung out for a while but then went outside the back room to go sit in the living room with my parents because I was thinking about my mom's post yesterday and wanting to give her more time to see me, but it ended up not being a great idea because my dad started bitching over the person supposedly hassling Ivanka Trump on the plane and when I said the person covering it doesn't seem to care about the several Muslim families that have been harassed on planes since the election and he got all pissy and was like "that's not even relevant stop" and I was just like ????? I have no fucking clue how you live in your goddamn bubble where someone harassing Ivanka Trump on an airplane is the worst thing that's ever happened meanwhile minorities everywhere are being harassed and straight up abused, but that's not relevant?? Like no, shut up. So I made some comment about not knowing how much he could respect me anyway while voting for someone like that which I'm fairly sure pissed him off more but at that point I didn't even care because it was true anyway, there's a good chunk of my respect that he lost by voting for Trump that he's never going to be able to win back, and that's just how it is. So I was kind of pissy with him for the rest of the night, and then my sister basically had a teenager tantrum because my parents were saying this place she's decided she wants to have her sweet 16 is too far away and nobody will be able to come (and to be fair it's like, on the queens border, so at least an hour drive from us) but she was just not having it and it carried on for a while because even though she was being a brat they were also being obstinate about it and I was just like ffs she just wants to look at the place her sweet 16 isn't until goddamn October she can look at the place it's not gonna hurt anything and that was basically the conclusion they came to, but with a lot more unnecessary whining and such. Sigh, lol. I rarely actually get annoyed at my sister mostly because I just love her so much, and even when I can acknowledge she's acting like a brat (which she does sometimes) it doesn't really make me mad at her and I wasn't really annoyed with her tonight, so it was just whatever. And yeah, after that I just hung out for a bit before heading to get ready for bed, and that was my day. I have to be up in 9 hours now so I guess I'll be going to sleep now. Goodnight peeps. Happy weekend. And oh, no grades still. Sigh.