#a thought i'd make a small collection of our fav boy

[copias-juicebox]

Birthday Gifs for @tobbesdiscordkitten ♡

[duesternis]

Call me predictable, but here we go: 'The cold light of a winter morning lay on the floor of the entry hall like spilled pearls. [...] „Okay, what d‘ya wanna know?“' from 'Lift you up'

This is gonna get super lengthy, folks, sorry for that.If you are in no way interested in reading anything about my overwatch fanfiction and my related babble, I advise you to scroll past this and forget you ever encountered this post at all.

Here goes nothing, Marik.(btw this is all about this post, basically: http://duesternis.tumblr.com/post/167812715352/rageprufrock-lets-go )

The most important thing i have to say about this whole fic and all its related parts is that it was never supposed to be anything this long.But, as usual, it sprouted on its own, growing tendrils of ideas and scenes whenever I turned my mind remotely into its direction.And who am I to deny myself (and you, by extension) the joy of fluffy, sappy men falling hopelessly in love to the backdrop of some organized-crime-drama?

And this is basically just that.The whole scene serves as yet another reminder that Jesse is falling head over heels for a man he barely knows and Hanzo likewise.Maybe even worse.

I’ll deal with this in small parts.

The cold light of a winter morning lay on the floor of the entry hall like spilled pearls. The house was quiet around them and for a moment there was a semblance of home between two breaths.McCree smiled lazily at him and Hanzo smiled back, eyes slipping to his favourite shape in the world.A door down the right hallway opened and Hanzo gave McCree‘s shoulder a squeeze, turned around and walked up the stairs. Turned at the top and looked at McCree.Who stood at the foot of the stairs, eyes huge and mouth open in a disbelieving smile.His cheeks were flushed.

The most noticeable thing about the whole scene with the stairs is the first sentence, for me. Maybe the first two.I could have ended the scene there, or cut it short and just beam them to Hanzo’s office. Because those two sentences say it all.The spilled pearls could be the unexpected beauty and worth Hanzo and Jesse see in each other.The light is just that. Light. But you may recall the fact that Jesse’s Santa Fe hideout had small windows. Not much light.Hanzo isn’t one to rise early. Morning light isn’t something he sees often.The house is quiet. They are, for a moment, alone in the world. Something else they are strangely unused to. They are often alone, but have never been comfortable being alone with a stranger.Then the “semblance of home between two breaths”. Sounded fancy. I liked it.And don’t we all know that distinct feeling of warmth blooming in our chests, between two breaths, when we just know that the person across from us is all we need right now?Yeah. Like that.

The rest of that bit is just Jesse being a huge dork, thinking that Hanzo looks so fucking gorgeous (like always) and Hanzo being awestruck and trying to hide it behind his stoic facade (nerd).

Hanzo jerked his chin at him and with a laugh McCree took the stairs two at a time. His long legs powerful, his spurs jingling happily.„Come with me.“„Right behind ya, darlin‘.“„When you keep saying that, it will lose its meaning, McCree.“ Hanzo grinned to himself and unlocked the door to his personal office. McCree chuckled behind him.The door swung inward and he stepped inside.McCree followed him.„Close the door.“ He did as asked and leaned against the wood. Lit a cigarillo. The room went out over the garden, a white pane of snow where green grass sprouted in summer.

Can spurs jingle happily?????More important: Jesse’s amazing legs and Hanzo’s snark. Secret grins and inviting people into very personal spaces (in this case personal office where important decisions are made).

DO I SMELL TRUST COMING OFF OF YOU HANZO SHIMADA??? (yes i do. it smells like cigarillos)

Jesse is getting nervous here, smoking to soothe his nerves. The white of the snow unnerves him as much as he finds it beautiful.It’s not something he is used to, something foreign to him, to see something so pure undisturbed.He may be afraid of tainting it.(The snow could be a metaphor i think. But I don’t know for what. I didn’t think much when writing the sentence. I just wanted to tell that the office is at the garden-side of the house and make it sound pretty at the same time. the aestheticTM stirkes again.)

Hanzo sat down at his low desk and pulled his glasses out of his shirt pocket.There was a sharp intake of breath from the door and he looked at McCree with an inquiring expression.„Golly gee, Hanzo.“ It came out flatly, powerless.„What is it?“ He frowned and McCree made a weak step forward. The cigarillo in his hand fumed faintly.„Ya look…“Hanzo put a hand to his glasses. „These?“A timid nod, a flush rising in McCree‘s cheeks. It was adorable. Hanzo smiled.„I need them for extensive reading. Since I was a boy.“A breathless laugh and McCree dropped to the floor on the other side of the desk. Barely on the pillow.Hanzo pulled a notebook out of a drawer and unscrewed the top of his fountain pen.McCree emptied his small bowl of paper clips and tapped ash into it.Hanzo raised a brow at that. „You‘ll clean that up later.“„Yessir.“ McCree grinned, face still flushed, and saluted sharply. „So.“„Yes?“

MEGANE HANZO. probably the only reason i wrote this was the mental image of sexy hanzo with reading glasses, looking over them at people, all pissed.and flustered jesse is cute.School-boy wringing his hands at the desk of his favourite teacher, acutely aware of the fact that he’s in over his head.Or sth like that…

Also imagine Jesse dropping on his ass b/c Hanzo’s too hot. *evil laughter*Hanzo’s mildly concerned for Jesse’s well-being, but thinks it’s cute too.

And I wanted Hanzo to be untrusting of modern media regarding important information. That’s why he’s using a notebook and a fountain pen. Something fancy. (My dad collects fancy fountain pens. They’re really pretty.)

And how devastatingly impractical is a low working desk? It needs quite a bit of talent to look down on people from your butt, but Hanzo can pull it off.He’s also a slut for anything tradtional and the contrast of a sprawling Jesse and a proper Hanzo on their respective sides of the desk made me giggle.That’s all.

„What‘s this about?“ McCree pointed at the notebook with his cigarillo. He closed his lips around the end of it and dropped his hat on the floor next to him.Hanzo wanted to touch his lips around the cigarillo and feel his breath on his fingers. It would be hot.„I need information about the workings of the Deadlock Gang.“„Ain‘t you got a division fer that kinda stuff?“ McCree rubbed his untended beard.Hanzo drew a tiny circle at the top of the page.„I need insider information.“Their eyes met over the desk and they shared an inhale.

Things are getting intenser (more intense?) here. I thought it best to slowly edge into the serious weight of the conversation that comes after the bit you asked me to talk about.(Which is actually one of my fav scenes in retrospect, I think)

And I wanted to show the tenderness that forcefully wedges itself into Hanzo, burrowing into his being with all the charm of a bulldozer.He’s completely at Jesse’s mercy at this point already, mostly unaware of it, thoughWhereas Jesse’s getting more and more nervous, his mind as far away from pleasant things as possible. He’s two seconds away from trying to talk his way out of here.He gets scared more easily than he himself would like and it shows.

Hanzo is probably aware of this. (I don’t know that. He writes himself and evades introspection mostly, the jerk.)

Jesse took three drags before answering.„Okay.“And with that he mentally tossed the old black leather jacket hanging in his closet in Santa Fe out the window.He was fair game now.The tattoo on the sole of his left foot itched suddenly and he had to laugh at himself.Damn superstition.Shimada frowned at him. „What now?“„Ah, nothin‘. Jus‘ had to think of somethin‘ funny.“ Jesse grinned and stretched his legs out along the desk. Held himself upright with leaning his stump on the desktop.Crossed his legs at the ankles and let his spurs twirl.„Okay, what d‘ya wanna know?“

Jesse’s scared, but trusting Hanzo to catch him when he jumps into water, not knowing if he can swim.And he thinks, privately, that drowning is preferable to staying a traitor with ties to the people he betrayed.

It took him half the series to come this far. It will take him the next half to come to terms with what that truly means.But he knows here and now that he doesn’t want to walk under the name of Deadlock anymore.

I actually rewrote this bit a few times, though. I’m still not really happy with the leather-jacket-sentence.I have this feeling I could have said it in a more elegant way, but i don’t know how. So it stayed like that.

This also is a great bit to show how Jesse masks his own nervousness and fear with bravado and a show of being particularly at ease.I’m not sure how much Hanzo sees through it. But I think he knows it’s not entirely genuine.He worries.

This is the second time (in the part you chose) that I draw notice to the fact that Jesse is without a prosthetic atm and the first time i do it directly.The first time is where I call his beard “Untended”. And here I outright say “stump”.Both instances relate directly to the fact that Hanzo wants/needs insider information about the Gang.I’m not sure what I wanted to say with that.I don’t plan stuff like that. I don’t plan stuff at all.

I bullshit stuff. I write overly poetic lines and bullshit the rest.

But hey. I think it works? (You must think so too, what with reading my stuff so avidly? :’‘P )

I’d tell you what music I listened to when I wrote this, but I can’t recall. Probably indie pop. (It’s always indie pop or eighties music.)And I think I have nothing left to say.

If you want to know some more, feel free to ask. X’D (Oh boi, this is probably all over the place)