#abbiegirl

[mylittleswiftieisinheaven]

Cannot believe I am writing this ! 5 years without my Abbie girl on 5/18 & I’m broken beyond repair 💔💜😢 not just my heart , my soul and every ounce of my being , this is not the shoes I ordered but they are the ones I got , life had never returned to “normal “ it’s the “new normal” full of anxiety and gut wrenching pain this is such a cray week as if you follow me on social media you saw the ups and downs only to end on the biggest low I think humanly possible. I still cannot believe she’s gone I cannot believe I got that call that it all happened and THIS is the life I was handed everything changed in a second I want my life back from pre 5/18/15 , Abbie has missed so much and people don’t realize how incredibly difficult it is to see her friends and kids her age and think “why?” “Why Abbie?” She absolutely LOVED life , family , friends , the sunshine , soccer , the beach , and making others HAPPY and that is what she brought me was pure happiness. I miss you #abbiegirl #rememberabbiez #neverforgetabbiez #foreverheartbroken #grievingmother please share anything you do for @abbiezuko1 on social media and tag me please (wear purple , tie a purple ribbon, do an act of kindness, anything “ABBIE” help me get through this day it is what gets me through days like this and being with family ! Keep us in your prayers and Abbie please come to me in my dreams! #angelanniversary #wearpurpleforabbiez (at Emmaus, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/CAT6jlGHpZb/?igshid=78bxuw9b4q81

[mylittleswiftieisinheaven]

Well here it is yet again and it never gets easier ... wake up to this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach seeing the kids walking by with backpacks so excited and nervous and all I can do is feel so sick to my stomach.. It is an awful feeling , the what could and SHOULD be ! I could literally throw up on cue .. can’t stop thinking about you Abbie 💔💜😇🌸My sweet girl .. I was in your room this morning and your school safety sash still hangs by the window and backpack beside your bed w/ the stuff you had in it the day you were killed .. all I can keep saying is how sorry I am , and crying wishing praying things could be different and there is no hope .. It can never be better it will always be this and they say time heals , well not this wound ...I will be trying to stay as far away from social media as possible it’s not that I’m not happy for people going back to school and seeing posts about kids and their grade they are beginning but to be honest it kills me .. This is such a hard day always is and always will be .. the sadness, anxiety, emptiness and anger takes over and it doesn’t go away ... I am so so sorry AbbieGirl 😢💔 This Should not be ! My heart hurts SO badly by stomach is churning I am trying to get through this minute by minute.. it is Definitely “one of those days” say a little prayer for us and be so so grateful if you don’t live this life like I do ... #firstdayofschool #heartbrokenmommy #AbbieGirl #schoolbusses #grief #childloss #forever11 (at Emmaus, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1oN6zgH91-efTO1rrUX0Oigtv7IX_1a0wPZtI0/?igshid=hjjc5q5frog5

[mylittleswiftieisinheaven]

Taylor ,

I must say (although I doubt you will ever see or read this ) I NEVER imagined Lover could be so amazing.... My family has been through pure hell and continues to feel the burn but on 8/22 we will be married 23 years ! Ironically 8/22 Lover Music Video will come out and 8/23 LOVER will be out and 1,551 days ago YES one thousand five hundred fifty one days ago We lost our youngest child , our little girl Abbie when she was struck by a car walking home from school she will be Forever 11 💔💜😇 and we promised we wouldn’t let this destroy our marriage and family and so far we are still so in love and appreciate life and YES it’s a struggle to breathe and simply live many days but somehow we put one foot in front of the other ... Life has thrown us the worst curve ball and with 2 of our 4 kids in college it’s so so hard mentally and financially but we vowed “forever and ever “ and 8/22 -23 years and still in LOvE 🥰💔💜💕😇🏡💍🎶💋💜 despite everything in our lives ! Taylor you are a lyrical genius! @taylorswift @taylornation

Our Family Minus One 💔💜 AbbieGirl always in our hearts forever 11

[mylittleswiftieisinheaven]

Been waiting for this album for what seems like forever and now it’s an hour away and I can’t wait ! This is the longest hour of my life ! It’s my 22nd anniversary and I love that Lover Video cane out today , listened to @taylorswift sing archer and Paul sidoti was amazing as usual loved that ! What a great week to be part of this amazing FANDOM 🎶🦋🌈🌸👑💜 Taylor has been such a huge part of my life in so many ways her music has spoken to me on so many levels when I’m at my lowest and at my best trying to make the best out of the life I’ve been handed... it’s nothing I would EVER wish on anyone .. Ny AbbieGirl was a huge Swiftie and it’s all so bittersweet! Xoxo ! Fly high babygirl ! forever 11 #taylorRememberAbbie look at the stars and how they shine one is you and Mommy misses you so much ! We all do ! Hope you are having a TS listening party up in the sky ! 💜🧚🏼‍♂️💃🏼👑🌙⭐️✨🌈🎧💜💔💕💘 @taylornation @tayswiftdotcom @tswiftdaily @tswiftslyrics @taylor-swiftfacts @taylorswiftsdaily @taylorswiftdaily @taylorswiftnoticed

[mylittleswiftieisinheaven]

Well this is 1 or the 2 dreaded posts I make . This one is a bit more difficult if that is even possible! Happy Heavenly Sweet 16 my AbbieGirl 💜💔😇 This ALL seems so wrong , we should be celebrating her sweet 16 with her contagious excitement rather I am trying to keep my emotions in check and the hurt that I feel is so deep I cannot even describe pain like this ! Our family has changed forever and we all handle our grief differently but we are here for each other especially on days like these . I have been dreading this day and the amount of anxiety leading up to it is overwhelming. Please keep our family in your thoughts & prayers on what should’ve been Abbies Sweet 16 💜💔 Jan 27! To honor and remember her please try and #wearpurpleforabbie & share pics (tag me or Chris ) but Abbie is missed so much I cannot believe I am even writing this .. Saying goodbye to your child is the worst thing a person can go through & you never “move on” you just learn to live with this pain and I feel so bad for Abbie that she will never get to do so much and has already missed so much , AbbieGirl mommy misses you so much and I’m hurting so badly please be around us on your bd and send signs .Miss hearing her voice , feeling her hand , seeing her beautiful smile I just want her back .. My fear is that she will be forgotten so please #rememberabbiez #neverforgetabbiez Happy birthday in heaven my angel 😇 💜💔😢⭐️🌙 I’m so heartbroken 💔 & dreading tomorrow (at Emmaus, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7zSJRGHxnW/?igshid=1np8olld1sp7r

[mylittleswiftieisinheaven]

Thinking about @abbiezuko1 so so much and how much I miss her ... A part of me is gone and yes I go over so much in my head so many times a day and even in my sleep .. I miss my complete family and kills me ... Like Tears me to bits seeing all posts about all her friends getting ready for High School and she never got to Middle school 💔😢 there is a void like no other and time stood still for me as I watch the world keep moving around me .. it’s the craziest and saddest feeling .. Abbie ABSOLUTELY adored her big bro @djvinvibes and her big sisters @madisonnzukowski & @gabriellezukowski she truly did I just wish so much and YES I have moments of happiness and my 3 living “Kids” (adults) lol bring me both happiness and aggravation but at the end of the day it’s happiness and they are what lees me going and young .. I want Abbie back , I want everyone to #rememberabbiez & #neverforgetabbiez I cannot believe she’s not here I cannot believe how hard it is just to get through most days .. when your heart is truly broken there is NO fixing it just learn to live w/ this new “life” & “new Normal “ & I will be honest it is the worst feeling in the world! Abbie I would do anything to trade places w/you , I want you back , I miss YOU , ur laugh , voice , the way you come down the steps , the skip in ur step , ur smile , the way ur hand felt in mine, the way you cuddled w/ me , I could go on and on. #forever11 #foreverheartbroken #missmygirl #minime #abbiegirl #monkey #grievingmother #AbbieZukowksi 💜😇😢💔💔😢💜🦋🧚‍♀️🎧😔✨🐒⭐️🌙🌟⚽️⛸💜💜💔😢✨ (at Emmaus, Pennsylvania)

[mylittleswiftieisinheaven]

So true no other words needed ... aside from #missmygirl #abbiegirl #rememberabbiez #neverforgetabbiez #foreverheartbroken #forever11 want My old life back .... (at Emmaus, Pennsylvania)

[mylittleswiftieisinheaven]

Please SHaRE this especially with those you think may be interested.. please #wearpurpleforAbbie #tiepurpleribbonsForAbbie for 5/18 it will be at 4pm and I would love to see as many people there to help us #rememberabbiez #neverforgetabbiez & if anyone has any suggestions or questions please DM me ! Also any #purpleforabbiez please tag me in and post on Social media .. missing my AbbieGirl more than ever As most of you may know The Anniversary of losing Abbie is Sat May 18 . Every year I have done this it has been at Abbie’s soccer ⚽️ field Jasper park BUT this year it is on a Saturday and I’m pretty sure the park will be crowded with games etc. I thought about it and decided to do it beside Abbie at Jerusalem Western Salisbury Cemetery. Her headstone was delivered and I feel like it’s a celebration of her life and would love for people to come and share in this extremely difficult day w/ us .. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions please DM me .. it will be at 4pm and PLEASE share this event and #wearPurpleForAbbie & #paintatheWorldPurpleforAbbie w/ #PurpleRibbonsForAbbie & please share pics and tag me @lisazukowski this means so much to our family 💜🦋🦋✨🎀😇⚽️🐒🐒💔😢💜 i cannot believe how difficult it is I never thought I could live w/ such unimaginable pain .. help from all the support of others is what keeps me going and keeping Abbie’s memory alive ! #rememberAbbieZ #neverForgetAbbiez THANK YOU !! Praying to see people there ! Xoxo #rememberabbiez #forever11 #taylorrememberabbie #regram @zuko16 @gabriellezukowski @madisonnzukowski @abbiezuko1 @mrszuko @collintucker22 @your_cousin_vinnyy @sbrooks1247 @alexaaaao (at Jerusalem Western Salisbury Church) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxWes9lH7ua-ZQvqaZuuVMHqwbgdr1hJiflOzE0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1vzvsp470mb8g

[mylittleswiftieisinheaven]

A week from today is Mother’s Day but today is #bereavedmothersday and it never gets easier .. I just got back from visiting Abbie at the cemetery and I say to Chris”I still cannot believe this reality “ May is so hard , I mean deep in your gut pain that is so hard to endure .This year Abbie would’ve been driving , and I still see her as my little sassy peanut , my little Mamma , There is so much in May so much pain and at the same time celebrations as well it’s a tough pill to swallow , I just simply Miss Abbie more and more each day ... wish she was here I will never be the”lisa of 5 years ago” I have to learn how to walk in these new shoes and it’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever done ! Miss you AbbieGirl my heart is forever broken 💔💜😇😢🌈💜✨😢 #neverforgetabbiez #rememberabbiez (at Emmaus, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_vz8-uHG1E/?igshid=1wvuo0ag7uha9

[mylittleswiftieisinheaven]

This is SO SO true ... the only thing is I will never feel complete again ... I do look around and wonder if people know how lucky they are if they have their family complete.. You see when someone older passes away you grieve and are sad but that is the way life is supposed to go we should bury our parents and grandparents but NOT our children I’ve been hurt so bad and wish I didn’t have this emptiness in my heart I also wish that those that have turned their back on my family & I realize how much that hurts .. It is what it is I cannot change the twisted way people think but I will say Thank You to those that have embraced friendship and are there even if it’s just a call to say hello ... Child loss is like no other .. #abbiezukowski #rememberabbiez #never4getabbiez #taylorrememberabbie #missyouabbie #foreverheartbroken #littleastronomer #forever11 life is short and cannot be taken for granted.. If you love someone, Tell them .. You miss someone .. Call them , don’t turn your back on those that need you , You never know what Tom brings ... ((hugs))) miss you AbbieGirl (at Emmaus, Pennsylvania)