#absolutely zero memory of recording my segment

[dullahandyke]

They should give me a special badge on letterboxd that says 'when I was like 12 they had me on the local radio to review moana'

[martianarctic]

The Factory Window

Agent:  Andrew Swan

Interview record: Pinetree-443 incident. Witness #2. January 3rd, 2021. Interview #1 of /. Location: Regional office, Lance Barrow Memorial Federal Building. Investigator Remarks: None.

It happened when I was really young, still a teenager, late teens, 18, 19. I have never told anybody about it before now. It is only known by one other person, he was with me, a friend of mine. I lost track of him after high school and searching his name on the internet yields nothing, even though he has an uncommon name. No one from school that I am still in touch with has spoken with him for decades.

I remember that day really clearly, even though it was almost [REDACTED] years ago at this point. It takes [REDACTED] hours to drive to the town. There were, and are still people there, gravitating to the kind of things that remain after a factory closes: Elementary schools, grocery stores, and hospitals. But everything and everybody is falling apart. Driving mostly old cars. The streets are stuck in [REDACTED] years ago. Everybody looks dead behind the eyes. Talks to you like you’re an invader into their daydream.

The factory is on the water. It closed in the [REDACTED], so when we went there it had been closed for about [REDACTED] years or so. It was a… real weird building. Designed by some famous midwestern architect, in the years they built up this town, they didn’t spare any expense. It’s built solid, so its still standing today, and will still be standing in 20 more years.

But, my point is, the building is big. It’s four interconnected corners, each like 10 stories high, and then a center that goes up 25 stories. Blocks. Windows are cut into the stone, but they are narrow- all around, about as wide and tall as a man. You can see out from them, but no way can you see in, except, at night, you can see if somebody is standing in one because the glow of the slit is different, warped kinda, just enough to know it doesn’t look like the others.

Sneaking in isn’t hard. Nobody’s patrolling it, I mean, I guess the cops drive by every day but there’s never anybody here so it’s the kind of thing very few of the cops would actually ever do. Despite this, you park your car in the trees that are overgrowing the parking lot, so nobody can see. The parking lot itself is cracked and weeds and bushes and even a few trees are growing up from under it.

There are entrances to the building all around it, but they are boarded up so the only way to get in is to go between two of the big blocks. These were meant to be the main entry ways, so back when the factory was open, you’d walk down one of these to get to work. There were probably a ton of people here all the time. Men, women, white, black, Mexicans, Asians- all Union members too.

I should mention two points here of interest. First, its very hard to find anybody who worked here. Nobody has done too deep of a dive on it, there’s a few youtubes and that’s it. Here’s what I know about that.

This section of the interview has been redacted.

And when you do, they’re… well, they’re all the same type of person, they all just kind of stare off into the distance. They are often very intelligent, quizzical kind of people. Not the first thing that jumps to mind when you think of factory workers. But its impossible to get them to answer anything directly. They acknowledge that you said something, but then they go off on a different tangent about something really esoteric and weird, but never the factory.

Which leads us to the next point of interest, which is that nobody actually knows what this factory made. Most people theorize that they are some kind of component to something very large and complicated so naturally one thinks that they were a defense contractor. However, defense stuff is usually air stuff and this stuff is way too heavy to fly in anything normal.

So, most people theorize that its some kind of hardware for power generation, nuclear or hydro power generation. Perhaps during the [REDACTED], in seeking energy independence, they anticipated some massive swell of interest in nuclear or hydro power generation and then the oil industry fired back. But that is also a stretch, because a factory this size producing that much hardware would have to have it go somewhere and honestly, again you tubers did the work and figured out that they made enough shit for 1000 nuclear plants when there only were ever 57 in the united states. Kinda the same story for hydro. Similar numbers.

Anyway, trees and bushes and tall weeds choke down each of these entrance paths. Here and there you see a drinking fountain, garbage can, bench- poking up through the foliage. It was around 1PM when we arrived so the sun was breaking through the clouds. We were in rain gear, we knew it could rain that day.

And boy it sure did- rain started up about when we got inside. After the entrance chambers, the first thing you go through is the offices. They were built into the 10 and 20 story walls that made up the structure. Furniture is still in them. Great stuff- but heavy as hell.

Anyway, the entrance chambers have these high 40-foot vaulted ceilings and stairs that take you to the first 4 floors. We crunched through the weeds that followed us in, and the crackles of dead foliage and the clatter of a kicked stone echoed. We heard the rain start falling outside. You can imagine how this place would have sounded any day of the week- just a bunch of people coming and going, starting and ending their days. We entered the first floor offices, which start just past the stairs.

So back to the offices, with the vintage furniture- they are rusted and warped a little bit, but I think with some effort they could be refurbished into what would be considered high-end pieces today. Millions of dollars worth by my reckoning. Remember, the place closed in the [REDACTED], and by that time, most companies as large as this one, if in fact it was even a business, had already gone computer based in some form or other. But there’s no computers, they never switched to any substantially digital document or process management infrastructure. There’s not a computer more complicated than a basic calculator in there.

Oh yeah, glad you asked. Another weird thing about this place- is that there’s no record of them ever having filed articles of incorporation or partnership in any state let alone ever issuing any kind of stocks or bonds. The size of the factory alone, estimated to have costed over a billion dollars in 2020 dollars, and they never borrowed any money or sold any equity stakes, at least not to anybody in the united states and not through legal channels. So we’re not even sure this was a business. At least, again, in the opinion of youtubers, since there’s no professional investigative interest on this place, until now.

So one of the things to do in this place is take a look through some of the paperwork in these offices. I feel like I don’t need to tell you that none of it makes any sense. At first, all of it looks completely normal. Memos, letters, ledgers, blotters, and they look pretty much like what you’d find in any corporate office this old. But at least somewhere in a normal business’ records, you find at least some mention of customers. Zero zip, in this factory. Products are mentioned, but they are always by cryptic item numbers that can be endlessly cross referenced but never defined.

That was not what we were here to investigate, however. And I think that’s why you called me in, maybe, but what we were there to investigate, I don’t know if you know this or not but I am about to become your star witness. #1.

If you go through the offices enough, keep moving perpendicular to the halls, through the doorways, you eventually get to the factory floor. On all sides, the walls are filled with offices that look out onto the factory floor. Above, a bunch of industrial track lighting underneath mostly broken glass skylights.

No walkways- those are all interior. This made the only possible avenue for suicide to be to jump through your office window out onto the factory, which would have been very tough, since the windows both didn’t open and also the glass was filled with chicken wire. I obviously have no idea if anybody ever did it since at least from the standpoint of personnel this would not have been discussed and if it was documented we haven’t ever found anything.

So, depending on which of the quads you are in, there’s significant differences between the factory segments. This one is mostly flat, but some of them go really vertical with these processing machines that go both up and down in addition to left and right. Here, this one, there’s conveyors that move across work stations, if you unwrapped these, they’d probably be over 20 miles long. Whatever they assembled here was small. The other quads definitely handled much larger products.

This segment probably had the most workers, also. We don’t know much about the unions that worked here but we do know that most of the shop stewards worked in this quad. Their workstations, you can see, have a lot of extra seating, space and document capacity. Here is something a little strange, nobody except youtubers and urban explorers visits here, and they are usually pretty good about not taking a ton of shit, but the union leader’s shop areas have been absolutely gutted of anything resembling a paper record or document. Somebody came for that shit.

As you can imagine, we have theories on this. We think that the shop steward’s records are probably the best place to get a list of names and addresses and any info by which we could track these people down and somebody already got it. The other quads had union leader’s workstations as well and also those are devoid of any actual recordkeeping paperwork. In one quad, several of them were burned.

We didn’t dally long in the quads, we went right for the center building, which is only accessible through the corner of the quads. Through a layer of offices, then just doors. The rain was falling outside of this one- we put up our hoods and made sure our camera bags were covered and went outside.

The courtyard is actually in the middle of the central building. 20 story high walls up around us, with the slit-like windows looking out. We’re looking out from a corner: the corners are where you enter from the outside, and then large entranceways on the edges of the square are the entrances to the central building. The water is falling down trees that have overgrown, tall, tall weeds. Broken up here and there by obstinate patches of concrete that form paths. We travel along one of these to roughly the middle of the whole complex. Look up see this is why were here. We look up.

One of the slits, up half way about from the north wall, it’s lit up. You could see a golden glow coming out of it because of how dark the rainclouded sky was. And it ain’t a normal window-slit. Its warped because something is in the window. We don’t think it’s anything moving, because it always stays the same.

So the last group to explore that we know of, they had pointed out that this light was there. Other explorers that went before them didn’t see it, so the earliest this light could have turned on was, if you believe them, [REDACTED]. [REDACTED] months.

Anyway, we counted what floor it was as best as we could and walked for that entrance and walked in, took off our hoods. The central building entrances are more conventional with elevator banks and security desks. We walked past the elevator banks for the stairs.

The stairs are eerie because of all places here, this is the one where, if you could time travel back to [REDACTED], it would look exactly the same. Light comes in through windows at each landing and there’s very little clutter. Actually people so infrequently come up these stairs that there’s very little dirt.

We got to the 18th floor- this was where we believed the light was on. It was also facing in towards the courtyard, so that meant the office was somewhere on the south side of the hallway. We checked our compasses and saw that was to the right if we turned right, and to the left if we turned left. We also figured it was to the right of the stairs. We went in.

The hallway was dark enough that if we could have seen straight down it, we would have been able to tell which office had a light on, except that most of the office doors were closed. As we walked down the hall, we looked in those offices that were open. Furniture still there in most of them, which made the offices that were completely empty really stand out. It would be weird if these offices seemed like no one had ever worked in them but what was weirder was that it seemed like all of the stuff had been removed from them. Shadows on the wall indicating where a chair might have scuffed against, parts of the carpet that seemed less worn than others.

We got to where we had to start opening the doors on the left. We did it quickly. One of us opened while the other covered with, yeah a firearm, you don’t go urban exploring in [REDACTED] without one. I was the puller when we got to it. The door handles were all were pretty much ice cold to the touch so when we got to it, I knew. This one was warm. I looked back to make sure he was still there, he gave me a nod. I pulled on the handle and the door came open.

This section of the interview has been redacted.

[jesusvasser]

2018 BMW M5 vs. 2018 Mercedes-AMG E63 S: Battle of Titans, Part 4

Welcome to round four of the BMW vs. Mercedes fight for the Hottest Sedan crown. This time, it’s the 2018 BMW M5 vs. the 2018 Mercedes-AMG E63 S, in Portugal. Unlike past throw-downs between the M5 and E63, this one features not just upgraded stats, but a new approach: BMW has finally decided to join the all-wheel-drive craze. It’s not that the M5 customer suddenly forgot how to handle all this power. No, it’s down to BMW’s marketing department, which has been pushing for all-wheel drive as a must-have at the top end of the premium segment for years.

Fact is, the rear-drive aficionados have long been in the minority, and the M boys should have seen this coming. But unlike the parent BMW brand, which jumped on the xDrive bandwagon years ago, the M division refused to adopt this crucial enhancer of safety and controllability (and, some might say, fun-killer) until Frank van Meel, CEO of BMW M and the former head of Audi Sport, took over. The Mercedes-AMG E63 went all-wheel-drive-only with the launch of its latest version in 2016, sporting the upgraded 4Matic+ system with variable torque split (previous AMG all-wheel-drive systems featured fixed torque split).

The sixth-generation M5 is definitely no longer your father’s go-faster four-door BMW. The biggest difference between old and new is the M xDrive system. With the exception of the sub brand’s X models, this is the first M car capable of pushing and pulling you out of trouble. An M5 for wimps? “Not at all,” says Van Meel, the man behind project F90. “All-wheel drive makes the new M5 faster, sharper, safer. Thanks to improved traction and stronger lateral grip especially on low-friction surfaces, it allows you to carry more momentum out of corners.” To avoid disappointment, all-wheel drive overrides rear-wheel drive only to correct arising instabilities, and one can lock the system in RWD for a family-sized serving of power oversteer. The transition between the AWD and RWD is nearly imperceptible.

While a transfer case takes care of the fully variable north-south torque split, the M differential masterminds the east-west force distribution. Those who prefer an extra portion of tail-happiness are invited to connect the M Dynamic Mode (MDM) with 4WD Sport, thereby casting a wider-meshed safety net. The next step on the way to your doctorate of oversteer is triggered by a stab at the DSC button. As soon as the yellow warning light comes on, the M xDrive menu offers three choices: 4WD, 4WD Sport and 2WD. Yes, things are beginning to get a bit complicated now—and that’s even before you start playing with the customizable steering, suspension, and drivetrain settings. With DSC off and 4WD Sport engaged, the new M5 is at its very quickest. The exit speed out of fast corners is now absolutely mind-boggling, the underlying rear bias remains a factor all the way into triple digit terrain, and traction and grip are simply extraterrestrial. Says Van Meel: “What sets our system apart is the single ECU which controls both diffs and the DSC/ASR/ABS algorithms. This application is so much quicker than the usual CAN-BUS convoys.” In rear-drive mode, old habits come through loud and clear.

Due to a long spell of dry weather on the sunny Portuguese Atlantic coast, the tarmac we’re traveling on has gotten dusty and offers grip reminiscent of a puck on an air-hockey table. Even with all the electronic overlords on full alert, the rear ends of these sedans-on-steroids keep wriggling, fidgeting, and twitching under pressure—a problem only made worse by the ultra-high-performance tires. After all, both the Pirelli P Zeros (BMW: 275/35 ZR20 front, 285/35 ZR20 rear) and the Conti SportContacts (Mercedes: 265/35 ZR20front, 295/30 ZR20 rear) need a hot, grippy surface to demonstrate their superglue talents—like what you’ll find at the Autodromo do Estoril, where you can brake car-lengths later and step back on the gas seconds earlier than on any backroad or interstate.

According to the official data sheets, the E63 S weighs 4,515 pounds, about 145 pounds heavier than the new M5, which itself has shed 33 pounds thanks in part to its carbon fiber roof. Subjectively, the all-in BMW feels a tad lighter and thus a tick more agile than the fully loaded AMG. While the BMW’s Pirellis are evenly worn down to the wear indicators after a hard day’s use, the AMG’s Contis show an asymmetrical degeneration from the crown area all the way to the outside shoulder, in the rear more so than in the front. This is allegedly down to the more aggressive suspension kinematics which spice up toe-in and negative camber. In theory, such a setup allows higher cornering speeds. In reality, any advantage ends at the breakaway point where grip lets go rather promptly.

Mind you, these are only first impressions, which need to be backed up by more laps on other circuits. But here in Portugal, the 20-inchers fitted to the M5 seem to sit flatter on the road, and when they let go, they do so in a more progressive fashion, fusing car and driver to a confidence-inspiring whole. We’re not talking about what’s happening in full drift here, but about the difference in pre-climax attitudes. Even though the Mercedes is equipped with a new triple-chamber air suspension, any trace of cushiness is absorbed by the firm dampers—and that’s before you select Sport or Sport Plus. The BMW offers a broader span of calibrations from reasonably comfortable to positively firm. It is the slightly less radical of the two contenders, still sharp yet more accessible along the boundaries of the laws of physics.

Irrespective of the fact that the M5 and E63 S aim primarily at older, wealthy, image-conscious customers, neither BMW nor Mercedes seems to put a particular emphasis on classic luxury car values like comfort or amenities. Instead, satisfying the urge to play appears to be the No. 1 priority. But before these two wild things can burn rubber, we must first punch in the correct settings. So while the left hand holds tight to the wheel, the right hand is busy pushing, twisting, scrolling, touching, and zooming, thereby diverting the driver’s attention from the road to the center stack. The more hardcore your desire to liberate the smoke trapped inside your tires, the deeper you must dive into the menu underworld. Just be prepared to need fresh rear tires after only six hot laps at Estoril, for it to suck the tank dry in record time, and very nearly deafen your audience in the process.

This “anything goes” philosophy is the driving force behind new features like the drift mode introduced in the S version of the E63. Even though all previous AMG sedans back to the E55 would, on demand, go sideways in full Technicolor without any electronic incentive whatsoever, the latest creation by the Affalterbach power brokers uses every trick in the hacker’s handbook to celebrate the fine art of power oversteer. Like in the M5, a carefully composed choreography takes you through the drift action in different stages. The sport handling mode is a relatively tame prelude, but there are three more steps to climb, labeled Sport, Sport Plus, and Race. In Race, with ESP switched off and the transmission in manual, all the power and torque are diverted to the rear wheels, which immediately yell for help and send smoke signals to the Portuguese sky, but to no avail: Up to 75 mph, it’s on the driver��and the driver alone—to master this 603-hp beast’s hunt for traction. Beyond 75 mph, the front axle rejoins the jam session, and the band begins to play a faster tune again (rear-wheel drive is not speed-governed in the M5).

BMW claims that the M5’s new eight-speed automatic matches the shift times of the previous seven-speed DCT. This may be so, but the memory chip inside my head misses the whiplash upshifts of the older gearbox. While the AMG employs a wet take-off clutch to shoot out of the starting blocks like greased lighting, the solution applied by the M wizards locks the torque converter immediately after launch for maximal thrust and minimal slip. No surprise then that these four-door rocket ships take just 3.2 sec (BMW) or 3.3 sec (AMG) to accelerate from 0 to 60 mph. In the 0-124 mph sprint, the M5 edges the E63 S by four tenths, running 11.1 sec against the AMG’s 11.5 sec. Why the widened gap? Because the nine-speed transmission fitted to the car from Stuttgart makes one more upshift. Since the observed fuel economy of either car would make champagne corks pop in OPEC circles, let’s just say that both cars can drink you under the table.

Both test cars were also fitted with optional carbon ceramic brakes, which are pointless on the road. Especially in autumn and winter, they rarely operate in the desired temperature window, and performance in the rain tends to be poorer than standard brakes, as low initial bite is typically followed by sudden and extreme deceleration. Chafing and squealing noises can also be an issue. On the circuit however, the composite stoppers are a major boon to driver confidence. It’s not only the absolute stopping power that makes a big difference but the absolutely constant pedal pressure and travel, the complete absence of brake fade.

The latest E63 S is a very fine piece of kit, but in certain areas it is not quite as well-honed as the new M5. Take the steering, for example. The M5’s variable-effort rack operates with commendable precision and response. Steering angle and steering effort work in total harmony, even when you start changing through Comfort, Sport, and Sport Plus modes. The E63’s steering feels meaty and switched-on, but the self-centering force is somewhat exaggerated, and it takes a more conscious effort to dial in lock. Wind on more, and the feedback starts to blur just a touch. In a nutshell, the AMG engineers, the software specialists, and the suppliers came up with a 110 percent solution that is, in certain situations, too clever for its own good. The steering of the M5 is more linear, and its response has more depth. Advantage: BMW, but not by much.

When the time comes to write the check, you may be surprised to find out that these pod-mates are less than two grand apart to start. Although the standard equipment leaves little to be desired, the option list is in both cases almost as long as the local white pages. Paint, trim, and seats alone can add a five-figure sum. While the BMW dealer will charge extra for the driver’s package which lifts the electronically controlled maximum speed to 191 mph, the AMG does 188 mph free of charge.

In more ways than one, these are two less-would-be-more cars. That’s less as in: less distraction, less complexity, less choice. The E63 S is crammed to the headliner with features—some nice to have, some thinly disguised gimmicks. The M5 tries to generate revenues and reputation by boasting assistance systems which allow you to take the hands off the wheel, however briefly, at up to 130 mph. If there’s a surefire way to trigger a heart attack behind the wheel, this must be it. There is little doubt that the best days of Comand and iDrive are over, but it’s only the BMW that wraps up the two preferred dynamic configurations and lets you tap them at will via the red M1 and M2 steering-wheel buttons. Add in decent voice control, and you have everything it takes to be fast and safe. The E63 S features Dynamic Select, a choice of automatic and manual modes, and a direct-access damper adjustment, but the corresponding controls are not particularly intuitive to use.

Decisions, decisions. Both of these hopped-up four-seaters are very good cars. That’s good as in fast, entertaining, and communicative. Yet the humble exhaust-mode button is the fundamental difference between the cars in microcosm: Hit it in the E63 S, and the tone changes from Tarzan to King-Kong; hit it in the M5, and you’re greeted with greater peace and quiet.

Although the M5 is the new kid on the block, the defending champion AMG puts up a hard fight. And it has a lot going for it, like mean looks and a brutal growl, a more excessive way of addressing all things dynamic, and the fact that it is also available as a wagon. The E63 S is about as rough and raw as the subbrand wants to go. In contrast, the M5 looks less butch and is less butch. It comes across as the more refined machine, sweeter at the limit, always tactile and composed, a tad more compliant, pleasantly relaxed at five tenths yet totally switched on when it really matters. It wins, if only by a head.

2018 BMW M5 Specifications

ON SALE Now PRICE $103,595 (base) ENGINE 4.4L twin-turbo DOHC 32-valve V-8/600 hp @ 5,700-6,600 rpm, 553 lb-ft @ 1,800-5,700 rpm TRANSMISSION 8-speed automatic LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, AWD sedan EPA MILEAGE 16/23 mpg (city/hwy) L x W x H 195.5 x 74.9 x 58.0 in WHEELBASE 117.4 in WEIGHT 4,255 lb 0-60 MPH 3.1 sec TOP SPEED 155 mph (189 mph w/M Driver’s Package)

  2018 Mercedes-AMG E63 S Specifications

PRICE $105,395 (base) ENGINE 4.0L DOHC 32-valve twin-turbo V-8/603 hp @ 5,750 rpm, 627 lb-ft @ 2,500 rpm TRANSMISSION 9-speed multi-clutch automatic LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, AWD sedan EPA MILEAGE 23/29 mpg (city/hwy) L x W x H 196.4 x 75.1 x 56.6 in WHEELBASE 115.7 in WEIGHT 4,515 lb 0-60 MPH 3.3 sec TOP SPEED 186 mph

[jonathanbelloblog]

2018 BMW M5 vs. 2018 Mercedes-AMG E63 S: Battle of Titans, Part 4

Welcome to round four of the BMW vs. Mercedes fight for the Hottest Sedan crown. This time, it’s the 2018 BMW M5 vs. the 2018 Mercedes-AMG E63 S, in Portugal. Unlike past throw-downs between the M5 and E63, this one features not just upgraded stats, but a new approach: BMW has finally decided to join the all-wheel-drive craze. It’s not that the M5 customer suddenly forgot how to handle all this power. No, it’s down to BMW’s marketing department, which has been pushing for all-wheel drive as a must-have at the top end of the premium segment for years.

Fact is, the rear-drive aficionados have long been in the minority, and the M boys should have seen this coming. But unlike the parent BMW brand, which jumped on the xDrive bandwagon years ago, the M division refused to adopt this crucial enhancer of safety and controllability (and, some might say, fun-killer) until Frank van Meel, CEO of BMW M and the former head of Audi Sport, took over. The Mercedes-AMG E63 went all-wheel-drive-only with the launch of its latest version in 2016, sporting the upgraded 4Matic+ system with variable torque split (previous AMG all-wheel-drive systems featured fixed torque split).

The sixth-generation M5 is definitely no longer your father’s go-faster four-door BMW. The biggest difference between old and new is the M xDrive system. With the exception of the sub brand’s X models, this is the first M car capable of pushing and pulling you out of trouble. An M5 for wimps? “Not at all,” says Van Meel, the man behind project F90. “All-wheel drive makes the new M5 faster, sharper, safer. Thanks to improved traction and stronger lateral grip especially on low-friction surfaces, it allows you to carry more momentum out of corners.” To avoid disappointment, all-wheel drive overrides rear-wheel drive only to correct arising instabilities, and one can lock the system in RWD for a family-sized serving of power oversteer. The transition between the AWD and RWD is nearly imperceptible.

While a transfer case takes care of the fully variable north-south torque split, the M differential masterminds the east-west force distribution. Those who prefer an extra portion of tail-happiness are invited to connect the M Dynamic Mode (MDM) with 4WD Sport, thereby casting a wider-meshed safety net. The next step on the way to your doctorate of oversteer is triggered by a stab at the DSC button. As soon as the yellow warning light comes on, the M xDrive menu offers three choices: 4WD, 4WD Sport and 2WD. Yes, things are beginning to get a bit complicated now—and that’s even before you start playing with the customizable steering, suspension, and drivetrain settings. With DSC off and 4WD Sport engaged, the new M5 is at its very quickest. The exit speed out of fast corners is now absolutely mind-boggling, the underlying rear bias remains a factor all the way into triple digit terrain, and traction and grip are simply extraterrestrial. Says Van Meel: “What sets our system apart is the single ECU which controls both diffs and the DSC/ASR/ABS algorithms. This application is so much quicker than the usual CAN-BUS convoys.” In rear-drive mode, old habits come through loud and clear.

Due to a long spell of dry weather on the sunny Portuguese Atlantic coast, the tarmac we’re traveling on has gotten dusty and offers grip reminiscent of a puck on an air-hockey table. Even with all the electronic overlords on full alert, the rear ends of these sedans-on-steroids keep wriggling, fidgeting, and twitching under pressure—a problem only made worse by the ultra-high-performance tires. After all, both the Pirelli P Zeros (BMW: 275/35 ZR20 front, 285/35 ZR20 rear) and the Conti SportContacts (Mercedes: 265/35 ZR20front, 295/30 ZR20 rear) need a hot, grippy surface to demonstrate their superglue talents—like what you’ll find at the Autodromo do Estoril, where you can brake car-lengths later and step back on the gas seconds earlier than on any backroad or interstate.

According to the official data sheets, the E63 S weighs 4,515 pounds, about 145 pounds heavier than the new M5, which itself has shed 33 pounds thanks in part to its carbon fiber roof. Subjectively, the all-in BMW feels a tad lighter and thus a tick more agile than the fully loaded AMG. While the BMW’s Pirellis are evenly worn down to the wear indicators after a hard day’s use, the AMG’s Contis show an asymmetrical degeneration from the crown area all the way to the outside shoulder, in the rear more so than in the front. This is allegedly down to the more aggressive suspension kinematics which spice up toe-in and negative camber. In theory, such a setup allows higher cornering speeds. In reality, any advantage ends at the breakaway point where grip lets go rather promptly.

Mind you, these are only first impressions, which need to be backed up by more laps on other circuits. But here in Portugal, the 20-inchers fitted to the M5 seem to sit flatter on the road, and when they let go, they do so in a more progressive fashion, fusing car and driver to a confidence-inspiring whole. We’re not talking about what’s happening in full drift here, but about the difference in pre-climax attitudes. Even though the Mercedes is equipped with a new triple-chamber air suspension, any trace of cushiness is absorbed by the firm dampers—and that’s before you select Sport or Sport Plus. The BMW offers a broader span of calibrations from reasonably comfortable to positively firm. It is the slightly less radical of the two contenders, still sharp yet more accessible along the boundaries of the laws of physics.

Irrespective of the fact that the M5 and E63 S aim primarily at older, wealthy, image-conscious customers, neither BMW nor Mercedes seems to put a particular emphasis on classic luxury car values like comfort or amenities. Instead, satisfying the urge to play appears to be the No. 1 priority. But before these two wild things can burn rubber, we must first punch in the correct settings. So while the left hand holds tight to the wheel, the right hand is busy pushing, twisting, scrolling, touching, and zooming, thereby diverting the driver’s attention from the road to the center stack. The more hardcore your desire to liberate the smoke trapped inside your tires, the deeper you must dive into the menu underworld. Just be prepared to need fresh rear tires after only six hot laps at Estoril, for it to suck the tank dry in record time, and very nearly deafen your audience in the process.

This “anything goes” philosophy is the driving force behind new features like the drift mode introduced in the S version of the E63. Even though all previous AMG sedans back to the E55 would, on demand, go sideways in full Technicolor without any electronic incentive whatsoever, the latest creation by the Affalterbach power brokers uses every trick in the hacker’s handbook to celebrate the fine art of power oversteer. Like in the M5, a carefully composed choreography takes you through the drift action in different stages. The sport handling mode is a relatively tame prelude, but there are three more steps to climb, labeled Sport, Sport Plus, and Race. In Race, with ESP switched off and the transmission in manual, all the power and torque are diverted to the rear wheels, which immediately yell for help and send smoke signals to the Portuguese sky, but to no avail: Up to 75 mph, it’s on the driver—and the driver alone—to master this 603-hp beast’s hunt for traction. Beyond 75 mph, the front axle rejoins the jam session, and the band begins to play a faster tune again (rear-wheel drive is not speed-governed in the M5).

BMW claims that the M5’s new eight-speed automatic matches the shift times of the previous seven-speed DCT. This may be so, but the memory chip inside my head misses the whiplash upshifts of the older gearbox. While the AMG employs a wet take-off clutch to shoot out of the starting blocks like greased lighting, the solution applied by the M wizards locks the torque converter immediately after launch for maximal thrust and minimal slip. No surprise then that these four-door rocket ships take just 3.2 sec (BMW) or 3.3 sec (AMG) to accelerate from 0 to 60 mph. In the 0-124 mph sprint, the M5 edges the E63 S by four tenths, running 11.1 sec against the AMG’s 11.5 sec. Why the widened gap? Because the nine-speed transmission fitted to the car from Stuttgart makes one more upshift. Since the observed fuel economy of either car would make champagne corks pop in OPEC circles, let’s just say that both cars can drink you under the table.

Both test cars were also fitted with optional carbon ceramic brakes, which are pointless on the road. Especially in autumn and winter, they rarely operate in the desired temperature window, and performance in the rain tends to be poorer than standard brakes, as low initial bite is typically followed by sudden and extreme deceleration. Chafing and squealing noises can also be an issue. On the circuit however, the composite stoppers are a major boon to driver confidence. It’s not only the absolute stopping power that makes a big difference but the absolutely constant pedal pressure and travel, the complete absence of brake fade.

The latest E63 S is a very fine piece of kit, but in certain areas it is not quite as well-honed as the new M5. Take the steering, for example. The M5’s variable-effort rack operates with commendable precision and response. Steering angle and steering effort work in total harmony, even when you start changing through Comfort, Sport, and Sport Plus modes. The E63’s steering feels meaty and switched-on, but the self-centering force is somewhat exaggerated, and it takes a more conscious effort to dial in lock. Wind on more, and the feedback starts to blur just a touch. In a nutshell, the AMG engineers, the software specialists, and the suppliers came up with a 110 percent solution that is, in certain situations, too clever for its own good. The steering of the M5 is more linear, and its response has more depth. Advantage: BMW, but not by much.

When the time comes to write the check, you may be surprised to find out that these pod-mates are less than two grand apart to start. Although the standard equipment leaves little to be desired, the option list is in both cases almost as long as the local white pages. Paint, trim, and seats alone can add a five-figure sum. While the BMW dealer will charge extra for the driver’s package which lifts the electronically controlled maximum speed to 191 mph, the AMG does 188 mph free of charge.

In more ways than one, these are two less-would-be-more cars. That’s less as in: less distraction, less complexity, less choice. The E63 S is crammed to the headliner with features—some nice to have, some thinly disguised gimmicks. The M5 tries to generate revenues and reputation by boasting assistance systems which allow you to take the hands off the wheel, however briefly, at up to 130 mph. If there’s a surefire way to trigger a heart attack behind the wheel, this must be it. There is little doubt that the best days of Comand and iDrive are over, but it’s only the BMW that wraps up the two preferred dynamic configurations and lets you tap them at will via the red M1 and M2 steering-wheel buttons. Add in decent voice control, and you have everything it takes to be fast and safe. The E63 S features Dynamic Select, a choice of automatic and manual modes, and a direct-access damper adjustment, but the corresponding controls are not particularly intuitive to use.

Decisions, decisions. Both of these hopped-up four-seaters are very good cars. That’s good as in fast, entertaining, and communicative. Yet the humble exhaust-mode button is the fundamental difference between the cars in microcosm: Hit it in the E63 S, and the tone changes from Tarzan to King-Kong; hit it in the M5, and you’re greeted with greater peace and quiet.

Although the M5 is the new kid on the block, the defending champion AMG puts up a hard fight. And it has a lot going for it, like mean looks and a brutal growl, a more excessive way of addressing all things dynamic, and the fact that it is also available as a wagon. The E63 S is about as rough and raw as the subbrand wants to go. In contrast, the M5 looks less butch and is less butch. It comes across as the more refined machine, sweeter at the limit, always tactile and composed, a tad more compliant, pleasantly relaxed at five tenths yet totally switched on when it really matters. It wins, if only by a head.

2018 BMW M5 Specifications

ON SALE Now PRICE $103,595 (base) ENGINE 4.4L twin-turbo DOHC 32-valve V-8/600 hp @ 5,700-6,600 rpm, 553 lb-ft @ 1,800-5,700 rpm TRANSMISSION 8-speed automatic LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, AWD sedan EPA MILEAGE 16/23 mpg (city/hwy) L x W x H 195.5 x 74.9 x 58.0 in WHEELBASE 117.4 in WEIGHT 4,255 lb 0-60 MPH 3.1 sec TOP SPEED 155 mph (189 mph w/M Driver’s Package)

  2018 Mercedes-AMG E63 S Specifications

PRICE $105,395 (base) ENGINE 4.0L DOHC 32-valve twin-turbo V-8/603 hp @ 5,750 rpm, 627 lb-ft @ 2,500 rpm TRANSMISSION 9-speed multi-clutch automatic LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, AWD sedan EPA MILEAGE 23/29 mpg (city/hwy) L x W x H 196.4 x 75.1 x 56.6 in WHEELBASE 115.7 in WEIGHT 4,515 lb 0-60 MPH 3.3 sec TOP SPEED 186 mph

[myneuroworld]

You Never Stop Learning Like A Child

The adult brain is far more malleable that we thought, and so learning can be child’s play if you know how. 

Some 36-year-olds choose to collect vintage wine, vinyl records or sports memorabilia. For Richard Simcott, it is languages. His itch to learn has led him to study more than 30 foreign tongues – and he’s not ready to give up.

During our conversation in a London restaurant, he reels off sentences in Spanish, Turkish and Icelandic as easily as I can name the pizza and pasta on our menu. He has learned Dutch on the streets of Rotterdam, Czech in Prague and Polish during a house share with some architects. At home, he talks to his wife in fluent Macedonian.

What’s remarkable about Simcott isn’t just the number and diversity of languages he has mastered. It’s his age. Long before grey hairs appear and waistlines expand, the mind’s cogs are meant to seize up, making it difficult to pick up any new skill, be it a language, the flute, or archery. Even if Simcott had primed his mind for new languages while at school, he should have faced a steep decline in his abilities as the years went by – yet he still devours unfamiliar grammars and strange vocabularies to a high level. “My linguistic landscape is always changing,” he says. “If you’re school-aged, or middle-aged – I don’t think there’s a big difference.”

A decade ago, few neuroscientists would have agreed that adults can rival the learning talents of children. But we needn’t be so defeatist. The mature brain, it turns out, is more supple than anyone thought. “The idea that there’s a critical period for learning in childhood is overrated,” says Gary Marcus, a psychologist at New York University. What’s more, we now understand the best techniques to accelerate knowledge and skill acquisition in adults, so can perhaps unveil a few tricks of the trade of super-learners like Simcott. Whatever you want to learn, it’s never too late to charge those grey cells.

The idea that the mind fossilises as it ages is culturally entrenched. The phrase “an old dog will learn no tricks” is recorded in an 18th century book of proverbs and is probably hundreds of years older.

When researchers finally began to investigate the adult brain’s malleability in the 1960s, their results appeared to agree with the saying. Most insights came indirectly from studies of perception, which suggested that an individual’s visual abilities were capped at a young age. For example, restricting young animals’ vision for a few weeks after birth means they will never manage to see normally. The same is true for people born with cataracts or a lazy eye – repair too late, and the brain fails to use the eye properly for life. “For a very long time, it seemed that those constraints were set in stone after that critical period,” says Daphne Bavelier at the University of Rochester, New York.

These are extreme circumstances, of course, but the evidence suggested that the same neural fossilisation would stifle other kinds of learning. Many of the studies looked at language development – particularly in families of immigrants. While the children picked up new tongues with ease, their parents were still stuttering broken sentences. But if there is a critical period for foreign language learning, everyone should be affected equally; Simcott’s ability to master a host of languages should be as impossible as a dog playing the piano.

Bearing this in mind, Ellen Bialystok at York University in Toronto, Canada, recently turned to the US census records, which detailed the linguistic skills of more than 2 million Hispanic and Chinese immigrants. A “critical period” for learning a second language in infancy should have created a sharp difference between those who had moved country in early childhood and those who were uprooted in adolescence. In reality? “There was absolutely no discontinuity,” Bialystok says. Instead, she saw a very gradual decline with age among immigrants – which could reflect differences in environment as much as the adults’ rusty brain circuits. “People talk more slowly and clearly to children in short, simple sentences,” she says. “And the child’s entire social and educational network is organised around that language.”

Yet while Bialystok’s study suggested that adult brains are more pliable than had once been imagined, there was still the suspicion that children might have the edge in certain skills. Adult learners sometimes find it harder to learn to sing in tune, hit a home run or mimic an accent convincingly. At first glance, the problem might seem to lie in adults’ perception and motor skills. Learning involving these abilities differs from the acquisition of factual knowledge, because it needs us to rewire the eyes, ears and muscles.

It’s something that Marcus can identify with. At the age of 38, he devoted himself to learning the guitar, an experience he detailed in his book Guitar Zero. “My family’s initial response was laughter – but they soon saw I was making progress,” he says. Still, during his research, he attended a musical summer camp for 8 to 15-year-olds. He says he was quicker to catch on to the structure of songs, but his younger bandmates had better coordination and sense of pitch.

Yet the available evidence hints that children may not always be inherently better at such tasks. One study by Yang Zhang at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis that focused on the acquisition of foreign accents in adults suggests we may simply be suffering from poor tuition. When the researchers gave them recordings that mimicked the exaggerated baby talk of cooing mothers, the adult learners progressed rapidly.

Nor do adults necessarily fumble over the intricate movements that are crucial for music or sport. When volunteers visiting Virginia Penhune’s lab at Concordia University in Montreal, Canada, learned to press keys in a certain sequence, at certain times – essentially a boiled-down version of keyboard practice – the adults tended to outshine the younger volunteers.

During a more challenging test of hand-eye coordination, nearly 1000 volunteers of all age groups learned to juggle over a series of six training sessions. As you might expect, the senior citizens aged 60 to 80 began with some hesitation, but they soon caught up with the 30-year-olds and by the end of the trials all the adults were juggling more confidently than the 5 to 10-year-olds.

Old dogs, then, are much more adaptable than folklore would have it – and if we do have deficits, they aren’t insurmountable. The reason that children appear to be better learners may have more to do with their environment, and factors such as physical fitness (see “Faster body, faster mind”).

Indeed, many researchers believe that an adult’s lifestyle may be the biggest obstacle. “A child’s sole occupation is learning to speak and move around,” says Ed Cooke, a cognitive scientist who has won many memory contests. “If an adult had that kind of time to spend on attentive learning, I’d be very disappointed if they didn’t do a good job.”

A glut of free time and a carefree existence are out of reach for most of us, but there are other behaviours that boost children’s learning, and these habits can be easily integrated into even an adult’s schedule. For example, children are continually quizzed on what they know – and for good reason: countless studies have shown that testing doubles long-term recall, outperforming all other memory tactics. Yet most adults attempting to learn new skills will rely more on self-testing which, let’s be honest, happens less often.

That’s why Cooke developed a website, called Memrise, which helps take some of the pain out of testing and, crucially, can integrate learning into the adult day. It is designed to track your learning curve with cunningly timed tests that force you to retrieve the information just as you are about to forget it.

“Memrise engages your brain to the greatest possible extent,” says Cooke, who has himself used the site to learn thousands of words of foreign vocabulary. Users can create their own courses – the topics range from art to zoology – and importantly, it is easy to load the site in the few spare minutes of your lunch break or while you are waiting for a train. Cooke also plans to launch a smartphone app.

What about tasks that involve perceptual learning or motor skills – like battling against a lifetime of tone deafness, or perfecting that golf swing? Here too, there are guiding principles that can help you rediscover the seemingly effortless learning of youth.

Adults can hamper progress with their own perfectionism: whereas children throw themselves into tasks, adults often agonise over the mechanics of the movements, trying to conceptualise exactly what is required. This could be one of our biggest downfalls. “Adults think so much more about what they are doing,” says Gabriele Wulf at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. “Children just copy what they see.”

Wulf’s work over the past decade shows that you should focus on the outcome of your actions rather than the intricacies of the movements. She applies this finding in her own life: as a keen golfer, she has found it is better to think about the swing of the club, for instance, rather than the position of her hands. “I’m always trying to find where best to focus my attention,” she says. Similarly, if you are learning to sing, then you should concentrate on the tone of the voice, rather than on the larynx or the placement of the tongue. Study after study shows that simply shifting your mindset in this way accelerates your learning– perhaps by encouraging the subconscious, automatic movements that mark proficiency.

Misplaced conscientiousness may also lead adults to rely on overly rigid practice regimes that stifle long-term learning. The adult talent for perseverance, it seems, is not always a virtue. Left to their own devices, most people segment their sessions into separate blocks – when learning basketball, for instance, they may work on each shot in turn, perhaps because they feel a desire to master it. The approach may bring rapid improvements at first, but a host of studies have found that the refined technique is soon forgotten.

Instead, you do better to take a carousel approach, quickly rotating through the different skills to be practised without lingering too long on each one. Although the reason is still unclear, it seems that jumping between skills makes your mind work a little harder when applying what you’ve learned, helping you to retain the knowledge in the long term – a finding that has helped people improve in activities ranging from tennis and kayaking to pistol shooting.

Such an approach might not be to everyone’s taste – with intricate skills, it might feel like you are making no progress. But even if you do revert to stints of lengthy practice, you can still reap some of the same benefits by occasionally trying out your skills in an unfamiliar situation. In tennis, you might move to a different part of the court for a couple of serves before returning to the regular position; while playing scales on a musical instrument, you might switch hands temporarily. According to work by Arnaud Boutin at the Leibniz Research Centre for Working Environment and Human Factors in Dortmund, Germany, venturing out of your comfort zone in this way helps to ensure that you improve your overall performance rather than confining your progress to the single task at hand. “Otherwise, the longer you practise, the harder it becomes to transfer the skills that you’ve learned to new situations,” says Boutin.

If none of that helps you learn like a child, simply adopting the arrogance of youth may do no harm. “As we get older, we lose our confidence, and I’m convinced that has a big impact on performance,” says Wulf. To test the assumption, she recently trained a small group of people to pitch a ball. While half were given no encouragement, she offered the others a sham test, rigged to demonstrate that their abilities were above average. They learned to pitch on target with much greater accuracy than those who didn’t get an ego boost.

Whether your itch to learn will ever match Simcott’s appetite for foreign languages is another matter. “What I do – it’s like an extreme sport. There’s no need to learn that many languages,” he says. He has recently turned to Chinese, and has no plans to stop after that. “I’m like a linguistic butterfly. There’s always another, really far away, that suddenly feels appealing.”

Still, embrace the idea that your mind is as capable as Simcott’s, and the lure of extreme learning might take hold of you too.

Source: Old schooled: You never stop learning like a child

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No undertaking day-to-dayo massive or small for Tech Help

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The 1/3 most commonplace problem is virus or adware elimination.

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day-to-day college students convey their lap daily ps every day Tech Help day-to-day get Assist on less common problems, inclusive of an Apple day-to-day no longer charging anymore.

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