#act of love which is claiming freedom through the burning sword; together in the desert but not trapped with one another | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

emcads · 2 years

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in today’s edition of : I will never stop talking about esme’s relationship to femininity, thinking about how she decided to ditch the convent only after she’d completed her education and was deemed fit to debut in court because she judged those skills just as worth learning as the sword and thought they would prove useful and valuable to her. there was no ‘i’m not like other girls’ ‘ew i’m not doing embroidery/wearing dresses/corsets/etc’ narrative moment, she simply did not want that future. and she is going hunting for a man just not quite like they anticipated.

#female agency without degrading traditionally feminine traits and roles my beloved <3 #she also totally believes in marriage and might even marry advantageously if she thought it was useful but she's much more of a romantic at #heart and she does want to marry ~for love~ oooo hhh #which. not to be blasphemous on main. but as much as i joke about how being in the all-girls convent school turned her gay (and it did)#being exposed to the idea of an all encompassing indescribable divine love that lifts sin from your shoulders had a tremendous impact on the #way she approaches romantic relationships. she tends to love very completely and sacrificially to the point of self-effacement #and she also has this deep unmet expectation for how she wishes to be loved and she nurses it like a wound that won't heal because she knows #how unreasonable it is and it will only continue to sting but she can't stitch it shut because it reopens every time she prays.#[ and that's on catholicism ! ]#and there's a sensuality in her playing temptress and enticing to eat the fruit so to speak but through that act of desire it is also the #act of love which is claiming freedom through the burning sword; together in the desert but not trapped with one another #.... not sure how i ended up at eve's fall AGAIN but anyway.

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