#added franziska because i remembered i can do whatever i want

[juliinaugust]

combining my two favourite obsessions like a normal person 🫡

[askaceattorney]

Dear Skibot99,

Co-Mod: I’d tell you, but I’m afraid she might hear me.

…?

Mod Maya: Pre-twisted Simon would be adorable! He’s handsome, has a prosecutor’s salary, and is a complete gentleman. (For DGS though, I’d choose Barok because dang he’s fine--)

Dear Inferno,

Co-Mod: I’ll definitely do so and let you know what I think about it as soon as I find an empty spot in my already packed schedule.  It’s like I’m losing at Tetris 99 here.  (Or just plain Tetris, for that matter.)

*Fast forward a couple of weeks*

I started watching the first chapter, and I’ve gotta say, it’s already pretty intriguing.  I found it a little hard to take Franziska’s voice acting seriously, though.  I wasn’t expecting something spectacular, but she’s just not herself without a German accent, if you ask me.

Mod Kristoph: I watched that a while ago. Really good stuff. (Also, I called who the killer was from part 1.)

(Previous Letter)

Dear sc9ven,

Co-Mod: I actually didn’t find any of your letters in the inbox, which means we either deleted them or already posted them.  Either way, sorry 'bout that!

I haven’t read any fanfiction all the way through as far as I can remember, but I do remember reading part of one where Kay snuck into Phoenix’s office after he adopted Trucy and almost freaked out, thinking he was her biological father.  I don’t remember its title, though, so if anyone knows which one I’m talking about, please fill me in.

Mod Kristoph: I don’t remember what my first fanfic was but probably my favorite is Pick Your Poison. It’s not so much a case as it is a series of “punishments” given to other characters. It’s hilarious.

Mod Maya: I cannot reveal this

(Link in Letter)

Dear Certainly Bobby Fulbright,

Co-Mod: That’s a good que--

AaaaAAACHOO!!!  ...Sorry.  *sniff*

That’s a good question.  My first thought is Phoenix, since he’s earned himself a little R & R after the crazy adventures he’s been on lately.  It’d be a definite challenge for him to get back into the dating scene after his encounter (and re-encounter) with the darker side of relationships, but at least he’d be better prepared for it, so who knows?  It might work.

Please notice I didn’t mention who he’d be starting a family with.  That’s up to your imagination.

Mod Maya: Mildly afraid because I feel everyone in this series that has any relatives is just cursed--I think both Athena and Apollo are the types that would want to? Apollo’s a really caring boy, and Athena definitely loves that kind of thing too. I think they’d like to give their kids the type of life they couldn’t have.

Dear ZaK,

Co-Mod: I love it!  Especially the double-meaning of the word “represent.”  Heaven knows if we’ll ever get to see Phoenix join the already huge Smash Bros. roster, but I’d love to see a trailer like this regardless.  Just make it into a video, and I’ll give it the Co-Mod Seal of Approval!

Dear skibot99 again,

Co-Mod: Well, you’re right about us being busy with letters.  I still need to get on with the essay-writing part of this blog.  There are currently five or so requests for them, and I’d love to get them all done right now, but things have kept getting in the way.  I’ll be sure and get ‘em done ASAP, though.

Unfortunately, I don’t know of any blogs that are specifically about discussing Ace Attorney (and I’ll probably eat a cardboard badge before I go searching through Tumblr for them), but there are plenty of discussions going on at the Court-Records Forms, so I recommend checking it out.

The writing process for essays goes something like this: think about it, write it down, revise it, repeat.  I also take a look at gameplay videos to make sure I don’t miss any important details, but other than that, I just write whatever comes to mind when I think about the character in question, then try to reorganize it.  It think that’s called the KISS principle (Keep It Simple, Stupid.)  I hope it’s working for you all so far!

Dear jnv11,

Co-Mod: Thanks for finding those!  The first one was the Mod’s misspelling, but the Engarde letters were mine.  I must have let my mental guard down, so to speak.

Dear Anonymous,

Co-Mod: We’re actually using Tumblr’s Schedule option, which lets you choose a specific times for letters to be posted.  It’s a little less convenient than the Queue option, but I’ve found it to be more reliable.

And trust me, if we had the kind of time one would need to post something manually ever two hours, we’d be answering letters way faster.

Dear Mothmouth,

Co-Mod: Sure thing.  Here it is, and here’s the Ghost Trick one.  That one was a feat of animation, let me tell you.

And thanks for the kind words!  You’re just as cool.

Dear Fulbright,

Co-Mod: Thanks!  It was mainly thought up by Mod Kristoph and Mod Paups, and we kind of started doing it at the last minute, so I’m super thankful for their help with it all.

And yes, the letters the villains answered will be given a proper answer as soon as they reach the bottom of the inbox.  We don’t take kindly to letter thieves ‘round these parts.

Dear Inferno again,

Co-Mod: A little late (and not even necessary, as you already know), but thanks anyway, pal.

Dear skibot99 again (again),

Co-Mod: Thanks!  I somehow forgot to do that, but those tags have been added now.  Sheesh, what would we do without you guys?

I’ll keep your April Fools’ Day idea in mind for next year (I blocked it out so we can retain the element of surprise), but there’s a chance we might choose to do something different.  Oh yeah, and the Mod’s back!

That was more or less my reaction when I first heard the news.  Glad to have you back, Modot!  (That’s definitely my favorite Mod nickname, by the way.)

-The Mods

[velasnyx]

Emaziska 007 AU Sequel: Vindicta Chapter 5

We were parked in front of my mother's house. “Do you think she'll hate me?” I asked, staring at the house. “C'mon now. You really think she'd hate you?” Ema asked. “I let her believe I was dead. She technically had to bury me. What kind of mother deserves to bury her own daughter?” I asked. I felt so much guilt. After Ema came for me, I realized how terrible it was letting everyone believe I was gone. “Fran, I'm sure she'll be happy, seeing that you're alive”. I stared at the floor. “Whenever you're ready, Fran,” Ema said. I nodded. After a couple more minutes, I stepped out of the car. Ema and I walked to the door. To say I was nervous was an understatement. “Ready?”. I nodded. Ema knocked on the door. I started to panic. “I… I can't do this,” I said as I walked away. “What? Hold on a second!” Ema said. “Franziska?”. I stood there, frozen. “Franziska?” mom repeated. I heard her walk over to me. I turned to her. She had tears in her eyes. My mother hugged me tightly and cried. I wrapped my arms around her. She pulled away and looked at me. “You're alive. My God, I thought you were dead!” she said. “I know. I know, mom. I'm here, though. I'm still here,” I said. She hugged me again and held on for a while. She didn't let go. It was as if she was  afraid that if she did, she'd lose me all over again. I didn't blame her. To be honest, I shouldn't either.

L walked in. “Ema, what're you doing here? Everything alright?” she asked. Ema turned on the light and stepped to the side to reveal me. “Hope we didn't come at a bad time,” I said. L looked back at Ema. “You've got some explaining to do,” Ema said. “Explaining? What do I need to explain? You're the one who should be explaining, Franziska. Where the hell have you been?” L sneered. “Enjoying death. It was the only way I could get away from you,” I said. “Is that supposed to hurt me?”. I just stared at her. “Are you expecting an apology?” she asked. “What was it that you said? That you told your own sister to do? Take the bloody shot,” I sneered. “I made a judgement call. I did what I had to do to keep the rest of MI6, England, and your family safe”. “I had already fucking killed him by the time that bullet hit me. You didn't keep anyone safe. I fucking did!”. “Oh what, you want a medal?” she asked. I glared at her. “So what did you come here for? To chastise me? To make me feel bad? Good luck. I did what I had to do,” L added. “Is that your excuse? Rather poor one, don't you think?” I said. L rolled her eyes. “You're not here just because Ema dragged you out of whatever hole you were in. You know we need you”. “I figured that much. Besides, I've been away for too long,” I said. She just looked at me with a cold stare. “You'll have to be debriefed and declared fit for active service. The only way you'll return to duty is if you pass the test. I suggest you take them seriously. Especially with your current state. You look like shit,” L said. Wow, how nice. “I'll go home and try to freshen up”. “We sold your flat after your family gathered your belongings and put them in storage. You'll have to find a hotel. You sure as hell aren't staying here,” she said. As she walked to the stairs, she shot Ema a lingering glare. I'm sure she didn't appreciate her bringing me to her flat. Especially for a conversation like that. Ema walked over to me. “You can stay with me. I've got an extra bedroom at my flat,” she said. “You don't have to”. “Don't worry about it. I want to,” she said. “Thank you,” I said, staring at the floor. I felt ashamed. I don't want to burden her. We were about to leave when I stopped at the stairs. “What about my cat?” I asked L. “Miles has it. Now get out!” she called out from upstairs. “Let's go. You don't want to stick around while she's like this,” Ema said. I nodded.

I followed Ema into her flat. “I'll show you the spare room. Follow me,” she said. As I followed her to the spare room, I took in my surroundings. She had a few plants around the house. The cream colored wall were decorated with photos. I noticed a few of her and her sister with their parents. I remember when she told me about them. No wonder L is the way she is. She had to grow up way too fast. I guess I could relate. “Here it is”. It was a simple room, which was perfect. “I can't thank you enough, Ema. How can I ever repay you?”. She shook her head. “Don't worry about it. It's my pleasure, darling,” she said. I felt something in my chest when she called me darling. There was something about the way she said it that made me wish she'd say it again. “Get situated. I'll order some take-out,” she said. I nodded.

I sat and waited for the psychiatrist to come in. Is it really necessary to have this test? I thought the test were just physical. He walked in and sat across from me. “Hello, von Karma,”. “Hello”. “I'm going to give you some words and you tell me the first thing that comes to mind. Alright?” he said. I nodded. He cleared his throat. “Alright. Let's start with day”. “Wasted”. “Night”. “Mare”. “Morning”. “Drink”. “Head”. “Shot”. “L”. I looked at the mirror and smiled, knowing she was watching. “Bitch”. “007”. “Dog”. “Heart”. “Target”. “Faraday”. My smile faded and I fell silent. “Faraday,” he repeated. “Done,” I said. I got up and walked out.

We started the physical test. They hooked me up to a portable heart monitor. The first thing they had me do was run. Just three minutes in I could already feel my lungs burning. I really fucked myself over.  I was almost done when Miles walked in. “007, a lot has happened since you left. Would you like me to brief you on it now?” he asked. I nodded. “Very well. While you were gone, Debeste escaped,” Miles said. “Do you know… where he is?” I heaved. “Yes. Because he was killed. We found his body in the river. He was poisoned. We believe it was a slow acting poison which suggest that it was very personal,” he replied. “Hour's done, 007,” one of the test monitors said. I stepped off the treadmill and tried to catch my breath. “Any idea who might have done it?”. He shook his head. “But we found a ticket to Monaco on him. He goes there regularly and we found out why. He plays poker at the Gatewater Hotel and Casino,” Miles said. I raised a brow. “Poker?”. “Yes. The winner gets a hefty amount of money. He used it fund his terrorism acts. We found out he wasn't the only one. There's another we suspect,” Miles said. He showed me a picture of a man. He looked like your average guy but I guess that's what they would usually go for. “We have sit ups next. Your goal is one hundred,” the test monitor said. I got into position. “His name is Doug Swallow. He attends the poker games just as much as Debeste did. We suspect he deals in bioterrorism due to his pharmaceutical knowledge”. “How are sure he's a terrorist?” i asked. “Intel has seen him meet with a number of people from our most wanted. If we can get him out of the picture, it's one less thing to worry about”. “And you want me to do that by beating him in a game of poker?”. Miles nodded. “Not the most exciting mission, is it?” I said. “That all depends on you, Franziska. If trouble does manages to find its way to you, we have two agents already in Monaco. Skye will be accompanying you as well,” he said.

I did one last pull up. I couldn't do anymore. My arms were giving out and I could feel myself getting ill. As if that weren't enough, I could barely breathe. It felt like a ton of bricks were piled on my chest. The running, the sit ups, the push ups, everything; it was taking a toll on me. I leaned against the pole. “You want to do this another time?” Miles asked. I was trying to catch my breath. It would be best. I'm exhausted. “You know what? Let's”. Miles nodded. He left the room along with the test monitors. I slid down to the floor, my legs giving out. My whole body aches, my lungs burned, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I'm weak. I don't have the strength I used to and it's only been a few months. The injury along with alcoholism has wrecked my body. “Look at you,” a voice hissed. I snapped my head to the direction of the voice. Nobody. I was still alone. Maybe I'm just tired. I looked down at my feet. In the corner of my eye, I saw someone. I looked and once again saw nobody there. “So weak”. Everytime I looked the figure was gone. Is this real? “All the training and you're still so weak”. It was then that I realized who that voice belonged to. This can't be real. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see him. “I made you perfect and you decided to throw it away. You ruined yourself!”. I couldn't breathe. I felt like my heart was going a hundred miles per hour and I couldn't catch my breath. “Look at me!”. No, I won't. I don't want to see him. I don't want to open my eyes and see him. “Open your eyes and look at me!” he yelled. No, go away. Please, just go away. “C'mon, Fran. Look at me!”. That voice. It wasn't his. His was fading away. A female voice kept saying to open my eyes. When his voice had completely faded away, I opened my eyes. Ema was kneeling down in front of me. She looked worried. “Fran? Fran, breathe,” she said. I focused on returning my breathing to normal. I struggled but eventually caught my breath. “You alright?”. I nodded. Ema looked sad. “God, look what I've done to you,” she said. “No, don't say that. Please, Ema, don't take the blame for this,” I said. She frowned. I know she felt like she was to blame and I can't stand it. It hurts me knowing she feels guilty. “Look at me, Ema. I'm alive. Well, just barely but I'm alive,” I said, adding the joke in hope of lifting her spirits. She chuckled. “Please, don't feel guilty”. She nodded. “Do you need help?”. I shook my head. “I just need a couple minutes. I'll be fine,” I replied. She hesitated. “Don't worry,” I added. She nodded and left.

I struggled to take off the shirt. I stuck to button downs since the bullet in shoulder made it too painful to move it. When I took it off, I grabbed the my pocket knife. I looked at the scar in my shoulder and cut into the skin. When I was sure I cut deep enough, I extracted the bullet fragments and sealed them in a bag. Ema knocked on my door. I placed a towel to the incision and opened the door. “Yes?”. “Miles just gave me some new intel on Swallow. What happened to you?” Ema said. I removed the towel. “Removed the bullet fragments. I want to run ballistics on them,” I answered. “You need help stitching the cut?” she asked. I raised a brow. “I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you sticking a needle through my skin,” I joked. She rolled her eyes. “I thought you were supposed to be fearless, 007,” she said. She walked away and I followed her. “Sit down. I'll be back”. I sat on the ottoman in front of her bed. She walked into the bathroom. I kept the towel on the cut. She returned with a first aid kit and a needle and thread. She sat across from me and started working on the wound. “You've done this before?”. She smiled. “Are you going to keep being a nervous nelly or are you going to let me do this? I've done this more times than I can count. I've got the scars to prove it,” Ema said. “Do you now? Will I be able to see that for myself?” I said. She chuckled. “Don't get ahead of yourself”. I smiled at her. I winced as the needle pierced my skin. It didn't hurt as bad as I thought though. I suppose she had a special touch. “I'll feel better when I find out that bullet didn't belong to me,” she said. Her smile had faded. “I'm here, Ema,” I said, trying to ease her guilt. “I know but I can't help but feel guilty. You're alive but that bullet has affected you in more ways than one”. “The bullet probably isn't from your gun. You didn't do this to me,” I said. She finished stitching the cut. I felt her finger caressed the area of the bullet wound. “I… I don't want to lose you again”. I could barely hear her even with our faces being centimeters away. Her voice was so soft. “You won't,” I said, my voice just as soft. I caressed her jaw with my thumb. “I…”. No, don't say it. Don't. Have you forgotten what happened to her? I can't take that risk again. I closed the gap with a soft kiss. When we parted, she wasted no time coming back in for more. She straddled me. I unbuttoned her shirt and kissed her chest and neck. My fingers caressed her back. “Fran,” she said, breathlessly. I felt her hands run through my hair. If you told me that her and I would end up like this back when I first met her, I'd say you were mad. I never thought we would get close at all. I couldn't even see us being friends. After our interactions at my mother's, when I really got to know her, things changed. My whole perspective of her changed. The phone rang. She groaned in annoyance. She pulled away from me. “I suppose I'll have to see your scars some other time,” I said as I caressed her midsection. She smiled. “I'm afraid so,”. She got up to answer the phone. I went to my room to put on a shirt.

I jolted awake, gasping for air. Looking around, I realized it was just a nightmare. Another fucking nightmare. I've never experienced this. Maybe it was because it was my father but I wanted him dead. Maybe it's the past. Maybe killing him wasn't enough. Now his death haunts me. Us 00s, we're cold blooded. We have a license to kill and we don't hesitate to pull the trigger. It's so easy to take a life. It's just as easy as breathing. And living with it is just as easy too. That's why we're picked to be 00s. We knows it's just business. It's just another job. It's our duty for as long as we serve in Her Majesty's Secret Service. All this training but I'm still haunted by him. Why? I hated him so why? He made my life a living hell so why am I plagued with guilt? Fucking why?! My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a faint sound of sobbing coming from Ema's room. I went over to her door and knocked. She didn't answer. I opened the door just a crack. “Ema?”. “Oh, Fran. You need something,” she answered, her voice a bit shaky. “May I come in?” I asked. It was dark but I could see her nod her head against the moonlight. I walked over to her. She was sitting at the edge of her bed. “I'm sorry if I woke you,” Ema said. “Don't worry. It wasn't you that woke me. You alright?” I said. “Just a nightmare”. “I guess we have that in common”. She scooted over on the bed. “You want to talk about it?” she asked. I sat down next her. “No. I think you've heard enough of my problems. What about you?”. She stared at the floor. I didn't press her for answers. I know opening up is hard so I waited patiently and if she didn't want to say anything, I get that too. But I'll be there for her. It's the least I can do to repay her for all she's done for me. “It's the same nightmare every time. I'm just back at the mountainside, squeezing the trigger. And I watch you fall right off that cliff. Just like back then,” Ema said. Her voice was shaky. You could tell she was holding back. “I could barely look at myself in the mirror. I couldn't stand myself. I couldn't stand what I did. I thought I killed you and it destroyed me”. She broke. Tears ran down her cheeks. “It hurt so much,” she cried. I wrapped an arm around her and comforted her as she weeped.

[mylittleedgey]

Contains off screen Edgeworth x female oc and shamelessly written for the punchline.  Old KM fic

Although it shouldn’t have been surprising at this point, Phoenix still found himself stifling a scream as his former assistant performed a running tackle, clearing three steps and knocking onto the hood of Edgeworth’s car.  “NICK NICK NICK YOU’VE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG NIIIIIIICK!!!” she squealed.  “I’ve got something to show you it’s AWESOME!”  as soon as her feet touched the ground she was dragging him towards one of the other buildings in the village, one he’d never been in.  

“Wait, what?” her enthusiasm was as contagious as it was bewildering. “What happened?!”

She turned to him, mouth pursed in a vain attempt to keep the news in. For 3 seconds.  “Lilly had a BABY!”

“A baby? That’s it?”

Maya was distraught.  “She’s the MOST ADORABLE thing EVER, NICK! Cuter than CATS on the INTERNET!”  she emphasized, clenching her fists in genuine rage.

He was about to tell her that cats with poor grammar didn’t hold the same level of fascination for some humans as it did for her when he heard Edgeworth behind him.  “Lilly, one of the visitors at your…ceremony?” he wasn’t sure what to call the party where she had been proclaimed the Leader, and honestly he wasn’t sure if she knew a proper name for it either.  Fortunately, she didn’t go into detail.

“Yaaaay! You remembered!” Maya ran over and hugged him as a reward.  “Don’t you think she looks like she makes the CUUUTEST babies?”

Miles paused. “There were so many people there.  She was the one studying literature, right?”

“I dunno.” Maya shrugged.

“Well, who’s the father?”

“I dunno.” Maya shrugged again, obviously disinterested in the line of questioning.

“You don’t know?” Phoenix protested.  “I mean, it’s kind of important, isn’t it?”

“Not really.” she replied.  “Dads don’t stick around much here, anyway, remember?  But it’s a girl, so she’s going to stay part of the family, and that’s what’s important.”

“But, financially…” Edgeworth pressed.  “Shouldn’t he be responsible?”

“There’s not much to spend money on out here.  And like, what if you bought something big, like a car? Drive it ten feet from the training grounds to the temple? Everywhere else, it’s better to use the train.” she turned to them, walking backwards to face them.  “You guys are waaaaay over thinking this.  Just come look at her baby! You won’t believe how cute she is!” she turned back and ran into the next room.

“So…. Babies.”  Phoenix said apologetically, knowing Miles didn’t care much for children.

“They’re cute, Phoenix.  Girls like them.  I can’t help but wonder, though. Men aren’t exactly readily available out here.”

“GUUUUYYYYS!” came a warning roar from the next room, followed quickly by what sounded like a terrified baby girl. They hurried to the door to find Maya hugging the child attempting to calm the poor thing down with a bouncy dance that was clearly traumatizing it further.  Another woman, presumably Lilly, read a magazine casually,  either unconcerned for the sanity of her child or assuming the spiritual leader of her religion knew more about raising children than she did. Phoenix rushed to take the child from her.

“MAYA!” he yelled, and then gulped as the child screeched and her mother looked up archly.  Yes, apparently Maya was the only one allowed to give her kid Shaken Baby Syndrome.  “It’s ok, princess.” he cooed, and heaven help him, it WAS a freakishly adorable baby. “You’re alright, it’s ok.”  she stopped crying now and looked at him, huge eyes teary and fascinated.  “Everything’s okay, angel.” he continued. She giggled, and his heart melted.

“Aren’t her blue eyes sooo pretty, Nick?” Maya cooed.

“Most newborns have blue eyes, Maya.”  Edgeworth informed her.  “They change color later.”

Maya stuck her tongue out at the back of his head as he poured some tea.

“He’s right, Maya.”  Phoenix added.  “But her hair is so unusual… It looks almost like Franziska’s.”  He didn’t add that Franziska seemed like the type of woman that seemed able to impregnate other women by terror and sheer force of will, but the chuckle from Miles showed that it was clearly implied.  “It’s so fine, it looks almost grey.”

Miles choked.

It was a few seconds later, when Miles was still choking on his tea and the child’s hair was still very grey that a possible reason began to sink in. “Miles. Are you…?!”

“Am I?!” he parroted hoarsely.

“IS HE?!” Phoenix demanded of the mother, who shrugged coyly in response.  Maya made the wisest decision she had made in months and took the child back as Phoenix’s face changed color.  “You BASTARD!”

“Are they…?”  Lily asked, gesturing with a shoulder at the two men. Maya nodded vigorously, rolling her eyes.

“You bastard!” Phoenix repeated, grabbing a magenta lapel and dragging the other man out the room.

“Look, I didn’t know…”

“Didn’t know what?!” Phoenix hissed.  “That putting your cock in ladies could get them pregnant?!  How long have you even LIKED women?!”

“I don’t!” Miles protested.  Phoenix raised an eyebrow, fuming. “Look…” he started again.  “I’m gay, I’m not some sort of frothing misogynist, I don’t actually have anything against women, I just prefer the company of- God Phoenix, can you just breathe? You look like you’re about to pass out- I prefer men, I prefer YOU.” Phoenix scoffed again.  “I just… it was an accident, it was a party, and I had some drinks, and you weren’t there, and…”

“I WAS PRAYING WITH MAYA UNDER A FROZEN WATERFALL ALL NIGHT LONG!” Phoenix returned furiously.  “I don’t even know what the fuck I was praying too, I was just vaguely asking the universe to please not freeze my dick off.  Although APPARENTLY I should have been asking it to freeze yours off, because I can’t leave you alone for ONE SECOND….”

“I’ve never cheated on you before.” Miles returned firmly.

“Oh really?” Phoenix snorted.  “Is this actually not cheating, or ‘I’m not aware of any other illegitimate children I might have created while your back was turned’ kind of not cheating?”

“Listen, would you? It was an accident.”

“What kind of accident?! ‘I’m sorry, I accidentally penetrated your vagina with my penis, I should probably take that out before OH! Now I’ve gone and ejaculated!”

“I don’t think that’s fair.”

“You want this to be FAIR?!”  Phoenix yelled.  “What the hell was so exciting you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants?!”

“We were having a fascinating conversation about gender roles in 18th century English literature, if you must know.” Miles returned calmly.

“Oh God…” Phoenix hid his face in his palm.  “You got a LITERATURE erection?”

“Well, the conversation continued…” Miles continued, blushing slightly. “We ended up on the subject of…. How traditional values affected contemporary fiction…” he bit his lip.  “…And the conversation turned to…. Well…”

“YES?!”

“The fandom of The Steel Samurai”  he sighed.  “I never claimed to be a saint, Phoenix.”

“You…” Phoenix coughed.  “You cheated on me… over  FANFICS?!”

“Not mine! More like the general idea of….. Shit, Phoenix, I was really very drunk, and she was, as you must have noticed, visually attractive, and I was very absorbed in the conversation, and at some point I remember noticing her hand going down my pants and thinking it sounded like a good idea, and… Look, I really am sorry.”

“Not sorry enough to tell me?!”

“Damn it! What did you want me to say, ‘I fucked a girl, it’s not normally a problem for me, I know you were literally 300 yards away, but you can be sure it hasn’t happened before all those months I’ve been overseas and it will never happen again, I promise and you can trust me.”  he sighed.  “Yes, I should have told you.  I was a coward.  I AM a coward.  You know that.”

“You’re not a coward, Miles.  You’ve gone out of your way to piss off some of the most terrifying people I’ve ever met, including Damon Gant and Franziska Von Karma.  You’re just bring selfish.”

Miles cringed.  “Yes, I guess that’s fair.”  he looked up weakly. “Would it make things worse if I spoke to Lily?”

“About what?!”

“About her financial state, about healthcare options…. Look, I’m not trying to start a family, I’m just trying to take responsibility for a kid I apparently helped make…”

“…Do whatever you want.”

The echo of Miles’ footsteps sounded overwhelming as he left the room. However, they were soon drowned out by louder, more violent footfalls.  “YOU’RE DUMPING HIM, NICK?! HOW COULD YOU?!”

“I didn’t say I was…. Maya! I’m not the bad guy here! HE cheated on ME!”

“With LILLY!” She huffed.  “Lilly’s like the sweetest, nicest, prettiest girl ever, and she makes delicious burgers, and she shaves her legs, and you could learn A LOT from her, Nick!”

“He cheated on me over the STEEL SAMURAI!”  before the words even came out, he realized this was the worst possible crowd to use that defense on.  Maya slapped him.

“Like you’re any better!”

“I… what? What did I do?”

“You know…” Maya lectured furiously.  “You act like him bringing  a kid into the relationship is this huge deal, but you DID THE EXACT SAME THING!”

“I WHAT?!”

“TRUCY?!”

Phoenix choked.  “Maya, there’s a difference between making a kid and adopting it!”

“Really?! Like what?!”

The conversation continued, in increasingly loud and frustrated terms, as Miles inspected his new daughter warily.

“You DID tell me you were in a relationship beforehand, I’m sorry.” Lilly offered gently.

“No, it was my fault.” he sighed.  “So, what sort of education is she looking at?”

“Well, depending on her spiritual capabilities…”  Edgeworth snorted, and she smiled, remembering when their conversation had turned to the nature of religion.  “She may become an acolyte, or a minor head of a branch family, or an attendant to a higher member…”

“Sounds… delightful…” he muttered.  “What about college?”

“Few go.” she replied.  “Sometimes the ones with the least power are sent to get them out of the way.” she lowered her eyes in false modestly.  “And I had a scholarship too.”

“So, given your spiritual power… no offense… the likelihood of her being a necessary member of the community is unlikely?”

Lilly smiled.  “I hear your boyfriend is into adoption, if that’s what you’re asking.”

He raised an eyebrow nervously.

“To be honest… no offense… I was much more interested in the possibilities of pursuing a fascinating evening with a handsome and cultured young man after several months in a very secluded temple than I was at the potential of creating an offspring.”

Miles looked back at the child with growing terror.  As mad as Phoenix was, adopting the kid seemed right up his alley.  Given the nature of there relationship now, he didn’t want to think of how infinitely more complicated things would become with an infant child.  He thought of a question he should have asked earlier.  “Does she have a name?”

“Not yet.” Lilly replied.  “Normally they’re given a name at a special ceremony at three months, but given your closeness with Mystic Maya, I’m sure you could influence it.”

“What do you think of the name ‘Franziska’?”

“It’s ok, but why?”

He sighed.  “Because Karma’s a bitch.”