#adonisfestival

[landofadonises]

Adonis Sports Cup & Olympics Festival - Alpha Football - Post-game I

The nature of pigskins evolved as the years went on and generations continued to grow in stature and size, and over time, football had to be split into two tiers--regular football, for your average Joe, and alpha football, for the adonises that were becoming more and more the norm in the nation.

Football truly faded from the limelight and was replaced by alpha football in every sense, because not only were the men even brighter examples of muscular and masculine perfection, but the games were so... so intense. The tackling, the grunting, the barreling into each other, running forward at full speed, enormous feet digging into the dirt as they were forced backwards by the 18-wheeler-opponent shoving into their chest... and not to mention the way they looked walking off the field--it might as well have been pouring rain with how their hair was plastered to their heads and the sweat was literally dripping off of them. Needless to say, protective gear was scrapped due to just how muscular they all were, so jerseys were the most they'd need if they chose not to play bare.

With the games being so intense, post-game rituals were important fixtures in the flow of the sport, and the foundation spared no expense in making sure everything was catalogued, documented, and broadcasted to ensure that being an adonis was the most desirable thing possible. Cameras were set up in the locker rooms and the shower stalls, these videos relaying right after the games on all major broadcasting stations, and as you might have expected, the viewer count never dropped.

[landofadonises]

Adonis Sports Cup & Olympic Festival - Coaches on the Sidelines

You'd be a fool to think things are only intense on the field itself during a game.

How do you think the players get so big, so powerful, so damn beastly to take the trophy home? Good luck? No chance. These coaches are beasts themselves, because it takes a bull to raise a bull. These guys get into the games a bit too much--perhaps remembering the days they were the ones stomping around on the field... and getting a bit riled up, even pissed, when they see mistakes.

The guidelines state that the only ones really exempt from public decency and dress code are the players when things get down and dirty, but these coaches end up getting swept into exceptions when they're grabbing at their shirts and balling their fists and those shirts tear like paper. It's not like they were already spread thin and sheer around their hulking torsos or anything.

[landofadonises]

Adonis Sports Cup & Olympics Festival - Watersports

Everyone, tune in! September's here! The Adonis Sports Cup & Olympics Festival is everything male masculinity put to movement and action, dressed in the skimpiest uniforms allowed for the sport, for the sake of movement, of course! This is where we figure out just which set of adonises are the best of the best!

Today, we'll be covering the watersports category of this year's festival--classic swimming, water polo, and a more recent emergence, water wrestling, finally being played at the festival this time around! The council's quick!

The swimmers this year are looking lithe and ready to thrive--flaunting their massive stompers as they prepare in the steam room, laxing up before they get to swingin' and kickin'! Remember, folks, you're a few years too late if you think anyone with less than a size 74 shoe is getting into this tier of league--for our friends over the pond, that's a minimum of a 32-inch-long foot! The bigger the better, though, and this year, it looks like we're graced with our first size 97 swimmer, a flipper in its own category that's just shy of 40 inches long!

Water polo's up to bat next, folks, and these men with the boulder shoulders have the pool looking more like a quarry than anything else! Look no further for some Dorito™-shaped hunks, built to span the width of the pool just from three of them, and they've had to increase the width of the goal yet again this year, as these men just seem to keep getting wider! The council has also announced that, if trends continue, they'll have to reduce the player count on each team from the recently-changed 6 to 5 already, because they're running out of space in the pools! No good shoulder-checking your teammates every time you twist and turn! We've got shoulder spans checking in ranging from 3 ft 7 inches to 4 ft 9 inches, and forget about wingspans--we got tired of measuring and were getting a little too close to running out of tape measure!

And finally, welcome to the festival debut of water wrestling! A fan favorite for the longest in varsity and collegiate play, we have three weight categories established this year, and the council's got a sense of humour--hunk, beefcake, and titan! The rules are a bit changed from what you're all used to, though! Due to the size of some of these men, the objective has changed from just getting the other competitor fully-submerged... you've now got to get them to the outer fifth of their side of the pool! It should be an interesting watch, but from our point of view, not all-too-thought-out, since these titans are waist-level standing up in the pool! Seems like the council just wanted a splash zone that'd make SeaWorld weep! Stay tuned to witness these mass monsters grapple with each other relentlessly, muscles writhing, teeth gritting... and there's word that Alpha Dom has snuck its way into some of these competitor's bloodstreams, so let's all keep an eye out for the signature sign of drip-tap nips and bursting briefs!

[landofadonises]

Adonis Sports Cup & Olympics Festival - Field Games Referees

++ Renny's Note: Below the realistic pictures, there's some stylized art generations, heavily inspired by @imaginary-muscle. Please give him his due flowers. ☻

Obviously, when it comes to the games and the men that play them, the people that keep things in control have to be just as big, if not bigger. It's a consistent theme that the referees of the festival appear in tiers, gradually getting larger as the games progress and the teams become more and more ferocious and competitive.

Oftentimes, as the days continue, uniforms stop being able to be replaced as frequently as they need to be, and arguments between refs can get physical. If those interactions don't decimate the uniforms in some way (but every one of them seeking to maintain an air of professionalism, wearing whatever remains), they definitely end up on the grassy field after separating two irritated players.

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[landofadonises]

Adonis Sports Cup & Olympic Festival - Before the Event - Tennis Practice

An interesting thing to consider is that, just as days of yore had the extensive coverage, from inception of the season to end results, of things like the National Football League, the same fascinations and desires to "see through the looking glass" occurred across so many different sports and festival categories. No longer were football players the sole apple of people's eyes--even tennis, ice skating, and anything else you might consider had hulking mammoths sculpted from marble to watch, ogle, and become fans of.

Tennis was an especially interesting one to watch as the size of the men grew. Their athleticism did not diminish whatsoever, as coaches were still just as demanding to force that strength and drive that ball into the other side of the court. Vaulting into the air, slamming the racquet forward, serving the ball at no less than 110 mph (which caused the production of racquets to become much more involved to reinforce the strings, no less). People kept up with the times and allowed for such beauty to exist.

...

Of course, their legs are absolutely insane from vaulting and jumping to return these hits and serves.