#again fragmented conversation to show the passage of pass time etc

[veone]

moving along pretty well

[miminorenai]

Chapter 16

A pleasant breeze passes through the mansion’s garden.

Sitting on the bench at the gazebo, MC gently opens ‘No Longer Human’ as she begins to read, but......

Before she can make any progress, a sigh immediately comes out from her mouth.

(......I can’t read it, after all.)

The story and the past Dazai talked about were inevitably overlapped, so MC could only think of him.

(To Dazai-san, living is a punishment......he also wishes for it.)

(I wish his revived purpose is something that can be compensated for, and yet......)

MC doesn’t know the way to end Dazai’s desired atonement.

Dazai lies beyond the deep darkness.

Even MC reaches out her hands to touch Dazai’s heart, she feels like being told that she’s within of such a distance which she couldn’t touch easily.

(I wonder if this means I’m being rejected......)

MC’s chest is in pricking pain, and she gently lays her eyelashes down.

Her love for Dazai, her sad feeling about Dazai’s past, and Dazai’s rejection......

The feelings that come all at once, mix together like a whirlpool in her mind, and she doesn’t know what to do.

When MC lets out a small sigh for the second time, suddenly she realizes approaching footsteps.

Comte “Mimi, could I have a little while of your time......?”

MC “Comte?”

Comte leads MC to the door.

Comte “Please take a look.”

MC “Yes ——······ Eh?”

MC “Right there’s a corridor......!”

What MC saw behind the door is the exact scenery she had when she came to this world.

(There was a strange space spread out on the night I was going back in the first month......)

Comte “I don’t know why, but we can get through the pathway across space and time again.”

Le Comte turns to MC.

Comte “......What would you do, Mimi?”

Comte “I don’t know when something like this will happen again.”

Comte “I guess now you could return to your original world.”

(Original world, modern Japan......)

Comte “Do you want to go home, Mimi?”

As MC put the tender question in her chest for a moment, she stares gently at the door.

The choice that she would have chosen before is now right in front of her.

(......Until a while ago, I missed the original world.)

(But now......)

What came to MC’s mind was not the nostalgic scenery of Japan, but the path of blooming hydrangea that she walked with Dazai.

(Crying at Dazai-san’s words who’s considerate of me, and having silly conversation......)

(Having fun, laughing together......)

Dazai said MC will ‘forget him sooner or later’. But......

(I can’t forget the time we spent together on that day......)

(Even if I go back to the original world with Dazai-san in my heart, I will surely regret it.)

Deciding on an answer, MC grasps her palm tightly and faces Comte.

MC “......I can’t go back yet. If I return now, I feel like I regret it.”

Comte “Is the regret......about Dazai?”

MC “......Yes.”

Has insight of the whole thing — MC’s lost for words for a moment when Comte mentions Dazai’s name, but she’s staring firmly at Comte again.

MC “Comte. Until I feel I’ve make a *clear distinction properly......can I stay in the mansion?”

(*けじめをつける - to draw the line (between two situations), to take clear responsibility for (mistakes, etc.)

(......If I say I'm not worried, I'll be lying. But —)

MC “I want to be here.”

(Still, by Dazai-san’s side......)

This feeling won��t change.

When MC answers straight ahead......the golden eyes that stares back at her, immediately narrows.

Comte “Alright.”

Come to an understanding (?) — Comte closes the door.

Comte “Of course, if you wish for it, I won’t stop you.”

Comte “Honestly speaking, I’m glad you’re staying in this mansion. Dazai looks like he’s having fun with you.”

MC “Looks like having fun......?”

Opens her eyes wide, Comte’s gentle smile deepens.

Comte “It looked like it to me.”

Comte “Dazai is good at hiding his feelings.”

Comte “But even if you hide it, there will be emotions transmitted from the air, eyes and facial expressions.”

(Even if it’s hidden, it could be transmitted......)

Comte “How does Dazai look in Mimi’s eyes?”

MC “To me......”

(But Dazai-san said his act towards me might be a clown......)

When MC turns her eyes down, ‘No Longer Human’ she held comes into view.

Suddenly a passage grazes her mind in passing.

‘——······ This was how I happened to invent my clowning. It was the last quest for love I was to direct at human beings.’

(Quest for love —)

(......That’s it. No matter what *appearance the clown kept up, he definitely doesn’t even have a fragment of heart in his smile.)

(*取り繕った - to keep up (appearances), to smooth over (an error, etc.); to gloss over; to varnish over; to palliate; to temporize; to temporise, to mend; to repair; to patch up

Although afraid of people, he still picks up the subtleties of a person’s heart and worries about them......

(That’s how Dazai-san’s trying to interact with people —)

MC “To me......I see him as a gentle and kindhearted person.”

(Dazai-san I have seen is that sort of person.)

Comte “......Really.”

Comte “I hope you’ll try to face each other until you feel satisfied. In your own feeling, as well as Dazai’s.”

MC “Thank you, Comte. Thank you again for everything you have done for me.”

(It doesn’t matter where this choice will end up. Besides······——)

MC “There was another reason why I couldn’t go back yet.”

Comte “Yup?”

MC “I want to read the story of hydrangea princess made by Dazai-san......!”

Comte “Hydrangea......? It seems like there’s a story that only two of you can understand.”

MC returns Comte’s gentle smile with a gentle smile of her own.

(I don’t think he is disqualified as human being regardless of Dazai-san’s past......)

(I want to believe Dazai-san who I have seen.)

Even if MC believes on him, it may not provide any comfort.

(But......all I can do right now is conveying my true feeling.)

— To Dazai-san, who continues to face people clumsily and hides the piece of his kindness.

In the dark blue sky, the night when the stars twinkle —

Charles “......”

Charles loiters at the church’s corridor and looks up at the night sky through the window.

Lost in thought as he illuminated by moonlight, he doesn’t even show response to the approaching footsteps.

Faust “What are you doing there, being so absent-minded? Shall I give you an energetic injection?”

Charles “......What’s that? So suspicious. A new experiment?”

Faust “You look *distracted by the way. It’s been very quiet here these days.”

(*心ここにあらず - there in body, but not in spirit, in one ear and out the other

Faust “Doesn’t it turn out well? Your plan to get near to Mimi and ‘get along well’ with those guys in the mansion.”

Charles stares at Faust next to him and looks up back at the night sky.

Charles “I went out on a date.”

Faust “And?”

Charles “Mimi is a girl who believes in people very straightforwardly. I thought it was nice.”

Charles “I want to be loved by Mimi......”

Charles face dyed with a look of spellbound, but his expression soon turns lonely.

Charles “But Mimi likes Dazai.”

Faust “Dazai? If I’m not mistaken — one person of the mansion and a Japanese novelist?”

Faust also remembers the information Shakespeare had gathered, to finally hit on one vampire.

Charles “Yeah. ......Hey, Doc.”

Charles slowly turns his eyes on Faust.

The moonlight reflected enchantingly in his eyes like a swaying water’s surface —

Charles “If Dazai follows us ... will Mimi also come to the castle?”