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hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon · 8 months

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sebastian bud hit me with some of your FAVOURITE kj hcs i need inspiration

the way I am VIBRATING rn

okay okay okay I have a great variety of kj hcs so imma just shoot a variety at you, of various degrees of seriousness.

Fab Four and Associates:

-Strong believer in disabled Kobra Kid agenda (i talk about this in various degrees in my fics and plan to include more). Personally I think he is selectively mute, but in the way that he is most comfortable when he's not talking. If he is ever talking a lot, it's a bad situation. Also has scoliosis but most people don't realize bc he spends 60% of his time hunched over on his bike anyway and like, yes it's actively making the problem worse. No he will not be doing anything about it he's got Things to Do.

-Jet is like. If wanderlust was a person. He loves wandering around and talking to people and being up in their business but not actively involved and knowing everything that's going on or not knowing what's going on and being surprised. like genuinely everyone knows him because he is always just. Somwhere. He's a guy that's always lonely but not because of lack of friends, it's because he's got so many people he cares about that there's no way for all of them to be in one place at the same time.

-Jet has the driest sense of humor on the planet like he's smiling a lot so it's like 'wait wait are you serious?' and the answer is whatever is funniest. (Ex. from my fics, he wanted to name a baby Jet Star II: Electric Boogaloo, and he was not serious about it until everyone else thought it was a terrible idea and then he was dead serious about it)

-Poison and Kobra are not siblings, so says me. Their whole relationship is "you are useful and I care about you a lot but why are you like this?" and it's true in both directions. they're weird bitches. usually five seconds from hitting each other.

-The Girl is a funny motherfucker because she pays attention. Like a lot of the people around her don't got a ton of exposure to kids, so they assume that small kids don't know what's going on ever, and they are wrong. The Girl always has a pretty good idea of what's going on. She may make wrong assumptions sometimes, but for being 7? she's scarily good at picking up on how people interact with each other and how electrical things work and when a dust storm is about to blow in.

-The Girl will dig holes. And put people's stuff in them. And you will not get it back. She wanted Party and Ghoul to stop smoking so much so she did steal all their nic-sticks and bury them behind the outhouse so that even if they found them there's no way they would smoke them bc of the smell of shit.

-The Girl is absolutely part of a small gang of seven-year olds who like to hang out at the gas station and yell at people.

-While Ghoul and Kobra have a Spiritual Bond (we've discussed this at length, you know my feelings on it, perhaps I'll make a post at some point), Agent Cherri Cola and Kobra are in love, and they're weird about it. Cherri is a girlboyfriend, it rules.

-That said, everyone is pretty chill with Cherri Cola (Jet thinks she's okay if pretentious, and he's right. Cherri be pretentious as fuck) except Party, who is waiting for an excuse to run Cherri over with the car.

General:

-Killjoys got a lot of weird hobbies and games, one of which I did make up and include in an upcomign fic, and it's called Canyon Smash. The way this game works is a whole bunch of 'joys (between 3 and usually 20, but there's no upper limit of participants) gather in a narrow canyon and form a long chain by holding hands. Then the person at the front of the line starts running full speed forward, with the goal being to get as many people behind them to let go as possible. This is achieved by running at walls, jumping over rocks, and generally making it as hard as possible for the people behind you to hold on; if the person in front of you in the chain lets go, then everyone behind them is out of the game as well. There's two ways to win a Canyon Run: 1) you are the last person in line, proving that no one could shake you off or 2) you're the person at the front of the line, and you managed to shake off everyone behind you and run alone.

-I have feelings about Killjoy naming practices and they are as follows. Until a kid is 1-2 (you're pretty sure they're gonna live), everyone calls a kid a Snow Storm, and generally rotates through a bunch of pronouns. By age 2, the kid is given a non-kj nickname that involves something unique to them. Over the next several years as the kid's personality develops, they get to take part in creating their 'kiddie name' which is a trial period to figure out what is meaningful and unique to them in a way that will become their killjoy name. Usually by their early to mid-teens, the kid selects their adult kj name. An example of this would be like for an OC I had, who's name progression went: Snow Storm -> Puff (bc of the way she wore her hair) -> Pet Tornado (as dubbed by her uncle bc she crashes into everything) -> P.T. Crusing (P.T. as an abbreviation for Pet Tornado, and Cruising as a play on the car pt cruiser)

I HAVE TO GO I GOT DISTRACTED AND A FRIEND THOUGHT I WAS DEAD BUT ALWAYS FEEL FREE TO ASK ME FOR MORE KJ HCS I LOVE TALKING

#sebastian speaks #twice as shiny #killjoy headcanons

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brokehorrorfan · 4 years

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Book Review: Stories from the Trenches by Marco Siedelmann

If Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films - Mark Hartley's excellent 2014 documentary on the independent film company - left you wanting more insight into Cannon Films' glory days, look no further than Stories from the Trenches: Adventures in Making High Octane Hollywood Movies with Cannon Veteran Sam Firstenberg. The book features firsthand accounts from filmmaker Sam Firstenberg and many of his collaborators. One of Cannon Films’ in-house directors during its 1980s heyday, Firstenberg helmed such cult classics as American Ninja, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, Revenge of the Ninja, and Ninja III: The Domination.

The exhaustive read consists of a series of career-spanning conversations between the 70-year-old filmmaker and writer Marco Siedelmann over the course of 755 pages, along with anecdotal asides, interviews with his cast and crew (most of which are new, although some archival pieces are peppered in), and a plethora of black-and-white photos. Rather reworking the interviews into a narrative, the questions and answers are printed verbatim. It's segmented into seven chronological chapters, each of which is further broken down by film. The massive tome is coffee table book-sized but paperback.

The book kicks off with an introduction by Firstenberg, in which he explains how he came up with the title of Stories from the Trenches when he was considering writing his own memoir and what it means to him. He also sets the stage with a humorously stark contrast between his low-budget B-movies and their high-profile Hollywood brethren. It's followed by an introduction from film critic Oliver Nöding, who warmly explains why, as a teenager, he thought Cannon Films was the best studio in the world and Firstenberg was their standout director.

The first chapter, "The Early Years," explores Firstenberg's upbringing in Jerusalem, formative exposures to cinema, film school experience, working his way up the hierarchy as an assistant director (under Empire Films' Charles Band and Cannon Films' Menahem Golan, among others), and making his feature directorial debut on One More Chance in 1983. It also features interviews with assistant director Leo Zisman (Jane the Virgin), production manager Omri Maron (Iron Eagle), and producer David Womark (Life of Pi).

Stories from the Trenches really picks up, as does Firstenberg's career, in the second chapter, "King of the Sequels." The filmmaker opens up about his next three films - 1983's Revenge of the Ninja, 1984's Ninja III: The Domination, and 1984's Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo - which happen to be among his most well-known works. He breaks down key scenes in each movie and discusses his relationship with Cannon Films.

This chapter is accompanied by interviews with stunt performer Steven Lambert (Titanic), editor Ken Bornstein (America's Next Top Model), karate champion Keith Vitali (Wheels on Meals), actor Jordan Bennett (Ninja III), producer Alan Amiel (The Blackout), cinematographer Hanania Baer (Masters of the Universe), and Breakin' cast members Lucinda Dickey, Michael Chambers, and Adolfo "Shabba-Doo" Quinones.

"The Golden Age of Cannon," is another interesting chapter. Set against the backdrop of the rising home video market, Firstenberg finds his voice as an action director on 1985's American Ninja before going on to make 1986's Avenging Force, 1987's American Ninja 2: The Confrontation, and 1989's Riverbend, the latter of which he made after his falling out with Cannon.

It includes interviews with producer Gideon Amir (Doom Patrol), writer Paul De Mielche (American Ninja), actress Judie Aronson (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter), actor Michael Dudikoff (American Ninja), marshal artist Tadashi Yamashita (American Ninja), actor Steve James (To Live and Die in L.A.), actor Larry Poindexter (The Hard Times of RJ Berger), cinematographer Gideon Porath (Death Wish 4: The Crackdown), stunt performer BJ Davis (Army of Darkness), editor Michael J. Duthie (Stargare), and editor Marcus Manton (Pumpkinhead).

"Back in Israel" chronicles Firstenberg's journey of making films in Israel, including his only Hebrew film, 1990's The Day We Met; 1991's Delta Force 3: The Killing Game, after he rejoined the Cannon fold under its new regime; 1992's American Samurai, which was reworked by Cannon after he completed production; and Tropical Heat, a TV series on which he helmed six episodes in 1992. Editor Shlomo Hazan (American Samurai) is also interviewed.

"The Rise of Nu Image" covers Firstenberg being poached by Nu Image, whose low-budget action movie model was a spiritual successor to Cannon Films. His output during this era included the new film studio's second production, 1993's Cyborg Cop; its 1994 sequel, Cyborg Cop II, also known as Cyborg Soldier; 1993's Blood Warriors, produced by Indonesia's Rapi Films; and 1997's franchise-launching Operation Delta Force. Writer Jon Stevens Alon (Cyber Cop II) is also interviewed.

"The Late Years" sees Firstenberg working on his 1997 neo-noir thriller Motel Blue; the 1998 Hulk Hogan vehicle McCinsey's Island; 2000's The Alternate, also known as Agent of Death, on which the director returned to his action B-movie roots; directing second unit on Tobe Hooper's 2000 film, Crocodile; 2001's Spiders II: Breeding Ground, on which he implemented early CGI; and 2002's Quicksand. Curiously, 2001's Criss Cross is Firstenberg's only film to not receive its own section.

This chapter is accompanied by interviews with producer Frank DeMartini (Mechanic: Resurrection), actor Bryan Genesse (Operation Delta Force 3: Clear Target), visual effects artist-turned-writer Stephen David Brooks (The Mangler), and actress Brooke Theiss (A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master).

The epilogue covers Firstenberg's final film, The Interplanetary Surplus Male and Amazon Women of Outer Space, a hard-to-find 2003 send-up to campy sci-fi films from the '50s. It also includes a retrospective interview with the filmmaker from 2012. Israli filmmaker Alon Newman provides a brief afterword, noting Firstenberg's inspiration on his work.

Stories from the Trenches provides a fascinating look at a renegade style of filmmaking that only could have thrived in the 1980s. Firstenberg's story is a compelling one, even for cinephiles who may be unfamiliar with his oeuvre. Beyond minor grammatical errors, the book could have used a more scrupulous editor to trim the fat (including some of the dozens of photo pages laden with empty space) and tell a more concise, focused account without sacrificing the comprehensive nature; but presenting the conversations is full allows the reader to experience the story straight from the horse's mouth. I would love to see Siedelmann tackle the storied careers of other cult filmmakers who don't receive their due recognition.

Stories from the Trenches: Adventures in Making High Octane Hollywood Movies with Cannon Veteran Sam Firstenberg is available now via Editions Moustache.

#sam firstenberg #cannon films #american ninja #revenge of the ninja #breakin 2 #breakin' 2: electric boogaloo #book #review #article #gift #ninja iii #ninja iii: the domination #ninja 3 #80s movies #1980s movies

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