#ah the follies of mentally ill makeouts

[alphabetofbullshit]

The time i accidentally manipulated my gf when she broke up with me

This all happened a little under a year ago. "'Daisy'" and I had been together nearly two years, always long distance. To contextualize the very weird, complicated relationship with brevity, we were teenagers who 'fell in love' on a lgbt discord server. The type of deal where she communicated poorly and i, in turn, tormented myself with entirely invented notions that i was constantly bothering her. That flavor of clusterfuck.

-== Story

Now, into my story. In june of that year, my otherwise perfectly healthy dad fell suddenly ill, and by the end of August he was dead. For this reason, my girlfriend 'gave me space,' which in no way helped the constant sensation of utter lonliness.

At this point in the story, Daisy has decided that i needed time on my own, and that, therefore, she would not bring to me any of her emotional needs. With her needs neglected, she begins to, herself, feel neglected. As i mentioned before, i am perpetually and often irrationally terrified of bothering people too much, so I myself wasnt reaching out either.

Now, we come to march (ish? maybe?) and we end up on call. Ill be honest, i forget if she told me she wanted to break up prior, or if it was on the call that she said it, but we're on the phone and im crushed. Now, to make matters worse, i realize i cannot find my earbud case. After tearing apart the house, i correctly assume the worst and check the washing machine... Lo and behold, my poor little galaxy bud case is entirely waterlogged.

These earbuds were nice, yeah. But the thing that broke we was that they were $250+ and that was a fucking luxury. A luxury that i had rendered useless.

So, i start crying. Out of stress, frustration, anger, sadness, i start crying. Problem was, i was still on call with Daisy, and I had not told her about my earbud mishap--- she thought i had been silent for 10 minutes after we discussed the breakup and had now started sobbing. So she tries to comfort me, apologizes, all that sort of thing, while im realizing whats going on. Never corrected her tho.

And sure, yeah, after i hung up figured out how to disassemble Galaxy Buds Pro, dried them out, and they worked just fine. I still have em and they're going strong

-== Conclusion

In retrospect, our relationship had been kinda toxic. Her response to my dad dying, and her sabotage of our relationship was insanely unfair--- i mean, she literally manufactured neglect then refused to offer me any chance to rectify it, not even telling me it was happening before it was too late. And yeah, i do kinda miss her. I mostly miss the concept of being in a relationship, but i do miss the person Daisy. Its strange.

By the way, did i mention the fact that she cheated on me twice, in addition to having been with the guy she was dating before we made it official the entire time we had been together?

Now that I think of it, ive changed my mind! Fuck her! I hope the guilt eats away at her, and i hope that in ten years time, when she looks me up, im living my absolute best life. Dream Of Me type shit, yk?