#ah well.... rot and wither in the same flower pot
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#............................................................................................................................................#.........................................................................................................................................#.....................................................................................................................................#lol. uh tw#i sound like a broken record at this point but man#half of me wants to get better but the other half wants to push help away so i can get worse and more insane until i finally snap#i'm fully aware that's the brain poison talking but i agree with it. i know what it's doing to me but idc#i have no point. and i have no drive to make myself one.#but no one's gotta worry bc i'm too scared to try anything. just like i'm too scared to do anything else#today in the shower i imagined what it would be like to drown and it sent me into a panic bc i could actually feel it in my lungs#there's no ideal way is there#ah well.... rot and wither in the same flower pot#i'm good tho it's comfy in here. if a little ill-fitting. and there's bugs
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