#ahritext

[gloxinian]

A lot of people struggle with why fetishizing mlm is bad bc they either genuinely don’t know what it looks like or are purposefully changing the definition so that THEY personally aren’t the bad person and can continue on without taking responsibility.

Fetishizing isn’t about simply enjoying the chemistry between two guys, supporting mlm, or watching a show that happens to have mlm in it. Whenever mlm ask to not be fetishized, this is almost always how “fetishized” is redefined- something safe/harmless. Redefining fetishization like this makes mlm out to be ridiculous for pointing out our issues with the homophobic ways our relationships and identities are viewed. It makes fetishization out to not only be normal, but an ideal to reach to support mlm and impossible to criticize. 

But that’s not what fetishization is. Fetishization is dehumanizing. It’s breaking our existence down into something purely sexual, something for entertainment, and further dehumanizes us by representing us as harmful, predatory, abusive, homophobic stereotypes. It breaks us down as flat characters to play with, to paint us as abusive or abused for ~the drama~, and forgets or purposefully ignores how we’re real people with real lives and feelings who are hurt by these depictions and this treatment. 

Growing up seeing this fetishization is damaging to mlm. Most popularized mlm content isn’t written by us or for us and instead written by and for outsiders who forget that we’re real people instead of characters and try and mold mlm relationships into roles we don’t fit.

Straight people who do this treat us as a man and woman instead of as two men for example and it doesn’t make sense. It warps young mlm’s views of themselves and our relationships just as much as it warps others views of us. 

This isn’t to say other groups can’t be fetishized just that we can/are also fetishized

Just stop ignoring mlm when we say that WE are being fetishized and it hurts us. Fetishization isn’t representation or support. If you want to support us, then listen to us and boost our voices instead of blocking us out and boosting the voices of people who forget we’re human.

[gloxinian]

It’s always so baffling to me that ppl are so ready to defend cishet women creating poor mlm content. Like... I grew up reading Japanese yaoi as well as the westernized version of it. Both were bad. Both were filled with harmful depictions of mlm relationships (sexual and not). Honestly, this also applies to cishet women creating that content under other names/tags as well bc a lot of modern BL still draws from the same stereotypes, especially when it’s written by cishet women who have no frame of reference or care for how our relationships function irl.

Yes, it’s entirely possible for cishet women to create good mlm content. But... so much of it isn’t bc the content isn’t being created with realism in mind. It isn’t being created after speaking to actual mlm or reading up on our thoughts and experiences, and it’s often depicting our relationships through a cishet lens. It’s created purely with the thought of what would be “cute/sexy/romantic” to the author and their peers and the perception on those ideas changes based on the author’s relationship to the topic. That’s why so much BL/Yaoi/etc created by cishet ppl in general comes off as stereotypes and treats our relationships as if one of us must be “the guy” while the other is “the girl” instead of the reality of us both being men.

And mlm pointing out that just bc content is about us doesn’t mean it’s good FOR us or for us in general shouldn’t be ignored or treated as if we don’t know what we’re talking abt. If we’re pointing it out, it’s for a reason and it’s very likely we’ve been directly harmed by it in some way. If u take every criticism of this sort of content from mlm as a personal attack... then that’s a YOU problem and u should probably reflect on why it is u find mlm pointing out homophobia to be a personal offense.

[gloxinian]

we love a canon bi himbo

[gloxinian]

what fucking rabbit hole have i entered where a cis person is trying to use trans women as a tool to explain why it’s aphobic to say people that aren’t bi shouldn’t imply that bi women aren’t affected by homophobia

[gloxinian]

i feel like a lot of ppl don’t understand that it’s good to be critical of all media u consume in some way nd that being critical doesn’t mean u can’t enjoy things.  a lot of ppl on here automatically equate critical with hating smth nd thinking it’s bad when in reality it’s just... thinking abt what ur consuming nd not taking everything at face value.  it’s understanding that media can have themes, underlying meanings, good and bad qualities, that everything can be affected by a creator’s bias whether intentionally or not, and understanding what effects or implications media has on the real world.  stuff like that  

[gloxinian]

Ok I broke down and colored her because its what she deserves

[gloxinian]

bnha fans ask “hey is anybody going accuse abuse victims of being wrong about their abuse so i can like the hot man without feeling guilty?” and then not wait for a response

[gloxinian]

guys i’m losing my mind does the lesbian masterdoc seriously say that having trans women as your “guy” crushes makes you a lesbian??  did they not consult a single trans lesbian???

[gloxinian]

Focus

[gloxinian]

Radar’s dad had more puppies and I’m crying because they’re barely bigger than this flower. I want to kiss their little heads so badly!

[gloxinian]

i just think dusa is neat

[gloxinian]

I’ve never liked the whole “suffering isnt a competition”/“suffering Olympics” ideas that were born out of the idea that everyone’s feelings matter because it ignores that while, yes everyone is entitled to their feelings, that doesn’t make them equal. And I feel like a good example of that is that, and I can’t believe this, I just read a bunch of people call a grieving mother that just lost her daughter an asshole for not wanting her friend to vent about being annoyed at her kids to her. Because both feelings matter. Like what in the world...

[gloxinian]

“let me call you straight passing for the sake of bi ace solidarity”  pls pls pls learn what solidarity means

[gloxinian]

This picture of the puppies fighting over a purse dog toy yesterday perfectly captures their relationship

[gloxinian]

Do not worry he will get me home safely

[gloxinian]

Is it just me, or does it feel like anyone that adds “I’m not x but” or some generic “xphobe should die!” Are just kind of missing the point? Like not stopping to consider if they might also be contributing to the problem and are more focused on saying “well IM different”. Ik it’s rarely a conscious decision, but actually looking at ppl that do this stuff and it always feels performative.