#ajjdoc 4ev

[tothedarkdarkseas]

The song Most Aborted Father for Murdoc.... Ohh boy.

"Sometimes I feel like a cigarette

I'm wrapped in paper

and I'm suffocating to death"

-

"I don't want to be a cigarette anymore

So please just put me out

All day and night"

I've always been interested with the idea of Murdoc usually sex as an unhealthy coping mechanism, either by letting people use him because that's what he thinks he "deserves", or because sex is what's expected of him. But this kind of sounds like his break, like him finally saying out loud that he doesn't want to live that life anymore.

Rather than sex, he'd rather be hurt.

First, I love this song! I've definitely felt like it had a Murdoc aura in the past; some lines I also think could apply to Stuart, notably the title and reference to "I'm the Most Aborted Father in 18 counties, 18-- nationwide, I guess" (I'm sure Murdoc has some unknown children of his own, but I don't interpret unrecognized fatherhood to be as significant a part of his character as it is for Stu) and the allusion to having all of his nicotine sucked out, which makes it sound as though he's been drained and is resentful of the thing leeching off him. However, the overall mood of the song is much more Murdoc, as is the conclusion of begging to just be put out.

I like your interpretation! I tend to feel of two minds about Murdoc's sexual dysfunction, and while there's some fascinating content exploring the intersection of his self-worth and sexuality, I lean more toward Murdoc choosing his mistakes knowing they're unproductive, and not necessarily being powerless at the mercy of his reputation-- for my own personal characterization, I see Murdoc as "using by being used," if that makes sense. That isn't to say I think he's always happiest this way, and I absolutely think that self-flagellating desire to be hurt was shaped by an intolerant and abusive upbringing (inside and outside of the home) and I'm sympathetic to it, but I guess it's like... I never view Murdoc as acting from obligation, I still view him as acting from craving. The very same craving a smoker has for nicotine, actually, on the topic of this song. I see it more akin to an addiction to something bad for you: a smoker doesn't really want to quit because they stop enjoying it, but because they become too aware of how much damage they're doing to keep justifying it. Until they do it again, that is. I've loved smokers and you probably have too, so you know even knowledge, even pain, even regret doesn't often stop it. I see Murdoc in the later phases as looking at his relationship with Stuart in a similar way. (But if the codependence, fear and sexual dysfunction was a lit cigarette to their shared body, Plastic Beach was a molotov cocktail in the throat of it-- that is to say, damage Murdoc can't undo, therefore his approach to Stuart and the terms on which he occupies space with him fundamentally changes. That's really the point where I see Murdoc having an unhealthy, but arguably unavoidable sense of obligation.) ((Edit: Actually, I’ve said something similar in the past but I think it’s relevant here and could help clarify my muddy babbling: younger Murdoc’s attitude is defined by a bitter and class-heavy notion of owing nothing to the world, while older Murdoc sees himself indebted to only Stuart in the end.))