Albert Modley
In ‘the lost property office’ he is the same mischievous school boy , he approaches the lost property kiosk at the train station, whilst he is waiting to be seen he touches parcels on the counter and the porter who is dealing with some one else, protests and tells Albert not to touch them! he keeps being mischievous and butting in! he tells the porter his mum has lost her umbrella so the porter sympathetically rings the guard, “what time did she loose it”? on the 3.30 replies Albert, so the guard checks the incoming trains, rings the other stations and after a while ,during which Albert is being a naughty boy touching things and generally being a nuisance, the porter informs him that the last train has come into the station for the day and it wasn’t on any of them! Albert replies” no! it wasn’t on a train it was on’t bus”! http://www.albertmodley.co.uk/more.htm
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Six Plays by Alan Bennett: All Day on the Sands (1.6, LWT, 1979)
"Look at the level of that sauce. Only started yesterday, it's gone down dramatically. I'm under no compulsion to provide sauce. Lathering it on. It's not as if my cooking needed sauce!"
"Make it available on request. Sauce available on request, that'll bring them to a sense of responsibility."
"Wouldn't care, but they go at the salt and pepper like lunatics. You'd think they'd never seen a cruet in their lives."
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