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curlzandcurves-blog1 · 7 years

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Dating for Men - How to Create 3-D Super-Attraction

It is by Jonathan Haidt, and it is called 'The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom'. In the event that you're fascinated by the science behind how humans tick and how it pertains to ancient ...Recently I finished reading a very interesting book on the inner workings of this human mind.

It's by Jonathan Haidt, and it's called 'The joy Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom'. If you're fascinated by the science behind exactly how humans tick and how it relates to ancient wisdom, I highly suggest that you read this book.

Haidt mentions that in all cultures, human societies have been organized along two dimensions: hierarchy and closeness/liking. Call one the x-axis, the other the y-axis.

Hierarchy is simple enough: people have status according to their power, title, fame or wealth.

And closeness -- what I shall call kinship -- is also straightforward. Society is organized according to friends, family members, co-workers, acquaintances and strangers.

Haidt then introduces a third dimension: a dimension of the divine. All cultures seem to recognize some plain things as nobler, purer and more divine, and other things as profane and impure.

He calls the emotion related to the divine and moral beauty as 'elevation'. More on that in a bit.

This got me thinking that human attraction occurs along these three axes as well.

Hierarchy is in fact the status game. A woman are going to be drawn to you if she perceives you as being cool, wealthy, well-known, powerful, or otherwise high in the status hierarchy.

She has mechanisms that are unconscious finding those features attractive. They've been operating at an unconscious level for hundreds of thousands of years, and they essentially serve to enhance the survival of the species. A high-status guy is almost certainly going to have the resources to provide for her and her babies.

Now let us think about kinship. A girl is almost certainly going to be attracted to you and go out with you if she feels close to you. Classmate, friend, co-worker, relative (though not too close) -- we all know people who have married or dated within those categories.

Even a proxy for real kinship frequently has a positive effect on attraction. Two immigrants from the same country meet in the U.S. Alumni from the college that is same. Displaced people from the same hometown or home state.

Nobody really knows exactly how this works. After all, in real terms, it shouldn't suggest a lot that is whole I meet someone else from, say, Massachusetts. But there it is, the minute bonding. We like people who are like us.

It's feasible that there are ancient mechanisms being activated here since well. In the old days, when people lived in tribes of 50-150 in size, chances were that they were kin if you knew someone. We share genes with our kin, and then we have good reason to be attracted to kin if we believe that our genes work to perpetuate themselves.

The third dimension of attraction is elevation. You're all familiar with the feeling of elevation. They're similar to 'peak experiences', which Maslow described in his classic 'Religion, Value and Peak Experiences'.

Listed below are some characteristics of peak experiences, as described by Haidt: "The universe is perceived as a whole that is unified everything is accepted and nothing is judged or ranked; egocentrism and goal-striving disappear as a person feels merged with the universe; perceptions of time and space are altered; and the person is flooded with feelings of wonder, awe, joy, love and gratitude."

Some people call it spirituality. Some call it moral beauty. It can be called by you whatever you want. The thing that is key remember is that it's real, it has correlates in the human mind, and it makes girls like you.

Really?

Oh really. And how.

In fact, Haidt conducted a brilliant experiment to figure out what the physiological effect of elevation. What he found out was astonishing -- and highly relevant to your dating life.

I'm going to spare you the important points of this experiment, but the results are basically this: elevation promotes secretion that is massive of.

Oxytocin, you might recall from previous articles, is the bonding chemical. It's produced at very specific times: childbirth, lactation (nursing), and orgasm.

All three of these occasions are associated with bonding with another human being. The massive does of oxytocin produced to promote contraction that is uterine childbirth cause the mom to stay love with the child for the rest of her life.

Oxytocin production during lactation promotes and prolongs the bonding. And oxytocin production during orgasm cements the bond between the two lovers.

Most of this means, as Haidt puts it, that "elevation may fill individuals with feelings of love, trust, and openness, making them more receptive to new relationships."

Now, let me ask you this: would it be helpful for a woman to feel love, trust, openness and receptivity to new relationships in your presence?

Can I get a 'hallelujah'?

In reality, there's reason to believe that elevation is better than the effects of hierarchy and kinship. It just hits at this deep, deep level which the other two don't get at.

Elevation is the z-axis to the x-axis of hierarchy and the y-axis of kinship. It rises OUT and ABOVE the plane.

And when you are the one guy who can provide the feeling of elevation, my friend, you shall increase above the crowd as well.

Now here's the plain thing: any one of the axes of attraction is enough to bring a woman into your life. If you've got two, then you're in REALLY good shape.

But if you've got all three -- oh man. You are unstoppable. Because now you've got 3D SuperAttraction.

The girls WILL be banging down your door at odd hours of the evening. And that will be more than you can manage. So get easy, man.

Seen through this lens, it becomes clear why certain kinds of men are attractive, and why certain kinds of methods work.

clash of clans free gems It also became clear to me why I incorporated so many exercises that are spiritually-based the Metamorphosis Mentorship Program and the Transformation Weekend. Unbeknownst to myself, I was giving the students a dose that is heavy of training.

In the fine tradition of Tao of Dating articles, now that I've offered you the exactly what and a little of the why, I'm going to supply you with the how.

Which means this is how you turn your attraction into 3D SuperAttraction:

1) The Hierarchy Axis.

We've talked about this before, and most advice that is dating out there operate primarily at this level.

The way that is simple accomplish this is to be rich, famous and powerful. Then the idea is to be 'cool', or at least cooler than her if this is not accessible to you. You do this through routines, jokes, funny stories, and the attitude that is right.

In The Tao of Dating, I talk about this attitude as the 'picky buyer stance'. If you have The Tao of Dating, you need to go read that part again so you REALLY get it.

You also use the technique of 'conversational scaling'. By gently teasing her and giving her a difficult time, you are tacitly conveying on the social hierarchy that you are higher than her. This really is the opposite of groveling, asking for her permission, or ingratiating yourself.

Let there be no doubt: this works. However, it may also especially backfire if you take the devil-may-care and cocksure attitude too far. There is a fine line between giving her a good-natured hard time and hurting her feelings and thereby turning yourself into an asshole. Don't be the guy who crosses that line.

Also, some women on the market aren't just looking for a one-night stand, believe it or perhaps not. And they are very, very smart, to see right through the smooth, ball-busting dudes as unsavory players and guys who are merely looking to score.

The truly awesome women who know their own worth and can get that guy any day of this week will pass, and hold out for something better.

Sure, every once in a while the routine shall work and overwhelm a woman's better judgment. But let's say, best case scenario, it DOES work. How long can the routine is held by you up? 2 hours? 5 hours? Exactly how about two weeks? Six months?

The cocky-funny-teasing routine requires energy that is high. And unless you naturally are that guy, it's going to be difficult to sustain long-term. There ain't no pill to up keep this one so eventually, you have to let it up, the real you will have to surface, and the basis of your attraction will be lost. And you might feel like a bit of a fraud in the process.

So avoid being a one-trick pony. Have genuine strengths. Add a little bit of the other axes. Which brings us to:

2) Kinship

One way for this to work is to possess a pre-existing relationship. You work together (or used to). You are schoolmates, or even better, classmates. You move in the circle that is same of or relatives.

You can find attractive women who already exist in this sphere, meaning that this axis is already in play. You already have a leg up! So go and associate with them currently.

But can you also manufacture kinship? In a amount that is short of? Why yes. It's the second way. It's called rapport, and I spend a lecture that is whole the Tao of Persuasion course talking about it.

That lecture is available to you for free, so you've got no good reason not to LISTEN TO IT NOW: . It's all the real way at the bottom. Download it and listen to it to your heart's content.

Rapport works on the very term that is short. The 'two-hit' technique also creates a micro-kinship in a short amount of time, though we may have little real information about them since we tend to think that people we see often are familiar, even. You see her once, say hi and acquire her name, come back a minutes that are few and continue the conversation -- simple as that.

Also keep in mind that by listening to a woman and drawing her out, you are able to find points of real kinship along the way. Amongst your mater that is alma of birth, where you grew up, circle of friends, favorite movies and favorite books, chances are very high that you'll find points of overlap.

In fact, using a utility like Facebook.com, you are able to instantly find out whether your respective circles of friends overlap. "Omigod, how do YOU know Jenny Dennehy? We're, like, best friends!" Incredible.

There are scenes in the immortal classic "Wedding Crashers" in which the characters played by Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson manufacture stories of kinship right regarding the spot. Hilarious stuff. You can also play with that -- "Gosh you remind me of my little cousin". Just keep in mind that the real version works even better.

A way that is third to set out deliberately to create new circles of kinship. By becoming the social impresario, you are bringing a group of folks together regularly, with you as the hub (which brings a little Axis 1, Hierarchy, into the mix as well). We describe this in detail in the Tao of Social Networking.

This is a play that is longer-term takes 2-6 months to set up. But you know what? It pays off handsomely and for a long time to come. Really worth the investment.

A fourth way is to use the power of self-marketing. The more frequently you're in touch with a woman, the more she is likely to know, like and trust you. With email and text messaging, you can do this in a totally non-intrusive, discretionary, fun manner that doesn't take so much of your time. I call it 'pinging', and it's a good technique to add to your repertoire.

3) Elevation

Ah, finally -- the meat of the situation.

The idea that is whole level is send her up the ladder of divinity, or inspiration, or peak experience, or whatever you wish to call it. Three ways I can think of doing that:

A) Tell her a story.

In the Metamorphosis Mentorship Program and the Transformation Weekend, we spend some time working on your Signature Story. This is a story with a beginning, middle and end, preferably about you and some episode that is cool your life revealing your character, courage, zest and other cool things in regards to you.

If you make the story inspirational enough, then it can be your elevation module. But you know what? It doesn't even have to be about you. If you can tell a good elevation story, she will come to associate that story with you since you're the one who told it to her.

B) Share an inspirational peak experience.

Then that's real elevation right there if you have a peak experience together. Do some local hill-climbing, and at the end you will literally be elevated with a experience that is peak.

To have the oxytocin secretion (and therefore the bonding, trusting experience), Prof

Haidt found that the experience has to involve 'moral beauty' and perhaps not just virtuosity. Watching Michael Jordan play basketball (which is they actually did in the experiment), though awe-inspiring, won't do it. A speech by the Dalai Lama may are better. And take a copy of 'Walden' by Thoreau to read together when you have to the top of the hill.

C) Do public service together.

This is similar to B, and it makes a heck of a date that is first well. Go to volunteermatch.org to find a organization that is local your while.

D) Attend some service that is spiritual.

If you're the kind that is churchgoing you know a pastor who gives a great sermon, go there. If you're of the creed that is same even better. Everybody's going to be friendlier and more trusting after a good service, and now you know why.

So that's the story that is whole gentlemen. In a nutshell, her good-naturedly, establish deep rapport, and tell a good signature story -- your dating success will have no choice but to SKYROCKET if you are able to incorporate the 3D triad into your dating interactions -- tease.

The energy is within you,

Dr Alex

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gotryiton-blog1 · 7 years

Text

Dating for Men - How to Create 3-D Super-Attraction

Recently I finished reading a really interesting book on the inner workings regarding the human mind.

It is by Jonathan Haidt, and it is called 'The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom'. If you're fascinated by the science behind how humans tick and how it relates to ancient ...Recently I finished reading a very interesting book on the inner workings regarding the human mind.

It's by Jonathan Haidt, and it's called 'The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom'. If you are fascinated by the science behind how humans tick and how it relates to wisdom that is ancient I highly advise that you read this book.

Haidt mentions that in all cultures, human societies have been organized along two dimensions: hierarchy and closeness/liking. Call one the x-axis, the other the y-axis.

Hierarchy is simple enough: people have status according to their power, title, fame or wealth.

And closeness -- what I shall call kinship -- is also straightforward. Society is organized according to friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances and strangers.

Haidt then introduces a third dimension: a dimension of the divine. All cultures seem to recognize some plain things as nobler, purer and more divine, and other activities as profane and impure.

He calls the emotion related to the divine and moral beauty as 'elevation'. More on that in a bit.

This got me thinking that human attraction happens along these three axes as well.

Hierarchy is just the status game. A woman are going to be drawn to you if she perceives you as being cool, wealthy, well-known, powerful, or otherwise high in the status hierarchy.

She has unconscious mechanisms for finding those features attractive. They've been operating at an unconscious level for hundreds of thousands of years, and they essentially serve to improve the survival of the species. A guy that is high-status more likely to have the resources to provide for her and her babies.

Now let's think about kinship. A girl is more likely to be attracted to you and head out with you if she feels close to you. Classmate, friend, co-worker, relative (though not too close) -- we all know people who have dated or married within those categories.

Nobody really knows how this works. After all, in real terms, it shouldn't suggest a lot that is whole I meet someone else from, say, Massachusetts. But there it's, the moment bonding. We like people who are like us.

It's feasible that there are ancient mechanisms being activated here as well. In the old days, when individuals lived in tribes of 50-150 in size, chances were that if you knew someone, they were kin. We share genes with our kin, and if we believe that our genes work to perpetuate themselves, then we have good reason to be attracted to kin.

The third dimension of attraction is elevation. You're all familiar with the feeling of elevation. They truly are similar to 'peak experiences', which Maslow described in his classic 'Religion, Value and Peak Experiences'.

Listed below are some characteristics of peak experiences, as described by Haidt: "The universe is perceived as a unified whole where everything is accepted and there's nothing judged or ranked; egocentrism and goal-striving disappear as a person seems merged with the universe; perceptions of time and space are altered; and the person is flooded with emotions of wonder, awe, joy, love and gratitude."

It is called by some people spirituality. Some call it moral beauty. It can be called by you whatever you want. The thing that is key remember is that it's real, it has correlates in the human mind, and it makes girls like you.

Really?

Oh actually. And exactly how.

In fact, Haidt conducted a experiment that is brilliant figure out what the physiological effect of elevation. What he found out was astonishing -- and highly relevant to your dating life.

I'm going to spare you the facts regarding the experiment, but the results are basically this: elevation promotes massive secretion of oxytocin.

Oxytocin, you might recall from previous articles, is the bonding chemical. It's produced at very specific times: childbirth, lactation (nursing), and orgasm.

All three of these occasions are associated with bonding with another being that is human. The massive does of oxytocin produced to promote uterine contraction during childbirth cause the mom to stay love with the child for the rest of her life.

Oxytocin production during lactation promotes and prolongs the bonding. And oxytocin production during orgasm cements the bond between the two lovers.

Most of this means, as Haidt puts it, that "elevation may fill people with feelings of love, trust, and openness, making them more receptive to new relationships."

http://clashofclanscheats.us/ Now, let me ask you this: would it be helpful for a girl to feel love, trust, openness and receptivity to new relationships in your presence?.

Can I get a 'hallelujah'?

In fact, there's reason to believe that elevation is more powerful than the effects of hierarchy and kinship. It just hits at this deep, deep level which the other two don't get at.

Elevation is the z-axis to the x-axis of hierarchy and the y-axis of kinship. It rises OUT and ABOVE the plane.

And whenever you are the one guy who can provide the feeling of elevation, my friend, you shall rise above the crowd as well.

Now here's the plain thing: any one of the axes of attraction is enough to bring a woman into your life. If you've got two, then you're in REALLY good shape.

But if you've got all three -- oh man. You are unstoppable. Because now you've got 3D SuperAttraction.

The girls WILL be banging down your door at odd hours of the evening. And that will be more than you can handle. So get easy, man.

Seen through this lens, it becomes clear why certain types of men are attractive, and why certain kinds of methods work.

It also became clear to me why I incorporated so many exercises that are spiritually-based the Metamorphosis Mentorship Program and the Transformation Weekend. Unbeknownst to myself, I was giving the students a heavy dose of elevation training.

In the fine tradition of Tao of Dating articles, now that I've given you the what and a little of the why, I'm going to provide you with the how.

And this is how you turn your attraction into 3D SuperAttraction:

1) The Hierarchy Axis.

We've talked about this before, and most dating advice products out there operate primarily at this level.

The way that is simple accomplish this is to be rich, famous and powerful. If this is not accessible to you, then the idea is to be 'cool', or at least cooler than her. You do this through routines, jokes, funny stories, and the right attitude.

In The Tao of Dating, I talk about this attitude as the 'picky buyer stance'. So you REALLY get it if you have The Tao of Dating, you need to go read that part again.

You also use the technique of 'conversational scaling'. By gently teasing her and giving her a tough time, you are tacitly conveying on the social hierarchy that you are higher than her. This is the opposite of groveling, asking for her permission, or ingratiating yourself.

Let there be no doubt: this works. However, it can also backfire, especially if you take the devil-may-care and cocksure attitude too far. There is a fine line between giving her a good-natured hard time and hurting her feelings and thereby turning yourself into an asshole. Don't be the guy who crosses that line.

Also, some women on the market aren't just trying to find a stand that is one-night believe it or not. And they are very, very smart, and see right through the smooth, ball-busting dudes as unsavory players and guys who are just searching to score.

The truly awesome women who know their worth that is own and get that guy any day regarding the week will pass, and hold out for something better.

Sure, every once in a while the routine shall work and overwhelm a woman's better judgment. But let's say, case scenario that is best, it DOES work. How long can the routine is held by you up? 2 hours? 5 hours? How about a couple of weeks? Six months?

The cocky-funny-teasing routine requires energy that is high. And unless you naturally are that guy, it's going to be difficult to sustain long-term. There ain't no pill to keep this one up so eventually, you have to let it up, the genuine you will have to surface, and the basis of one's attraction will be lost. And you might feel like a bit of a fraud in the process.

So avoid being a pony that is one-trick. Have genuine strengths. Add a little bit of the other axes. Which brings us to:

2) Kinship

One way for this to work is to have a pre-existing relationship. You work together (or used to). You are schoolmates, or even better, classmates. You move in the circle that is same of or relatives.

You will find attractive women who already exist in this sphere, which means that this axis is already in play. You already have a leg up! So go and associate with them already.

But can you also manufacture kinship? In a short amount of time? Why yes. It's the way that is second. It's called rapport, and I also spend a whole lecture in the Tao of Persuasion course talking about any of it.

That lecture is available to you for free, so you have got no good reason not to LISTEN TO IT NOW: . It's all the real way at the bottom. Download it and pay attention to it to your heart's content.

Rapport works on the very short term. The 'two-hit' technique also creates a micro-kinship in a short amount of time, though we may have little real information about them since we tend to think that people we see often are familiar, even. You see her once, say hi and get her name, come back a few minutes later and continue the conversation -- simple as that.

Also keep in mind that by listening to a woman and drawing her out, you are able to find points of genuine kinship along the way. Amongst your mater that is alma of delivery, where you grew up, circle of friends, favorite movies and favorite books, chances are particularly high that you'll find points of overlap.

There are scenes in the immortal classic "Wedding Crashers" in which the characters played by Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson manufacture stories of kinship right in the spot. Hilarious stuff. You can also play with that -- "Gosh you remind me of my little cousin". Just keep in mind that the version that is real even better.

A third way is to set out deliberately to create new circles of kinship. By becoming the impresario that is social you are bringing a group of folks together regularly, with you as the hub (which brings a little Axis 1, Hierarchy, into the mix as well). I describe this in detail in the Tao of Social Networking.

This is a longer-term play that takes 2-6 months to set up. But you know what? It pays off handsomely and for a long time to come. Really worth the investment.

3) Elevation

Ah, finally -- the meat of the problem.

The idea that is whole level is to send her up the ladder of divinity, or inspiration, or peak experience, or anything you wish to call it. Three ways I can think of doing that:

A) Tell her a story.

In the Metamorphosis Mentorship Program and the Transformation Weekend, we spend some time working on your Signature Story. This is a story with a beginning, middle and end, preferably about you and some cool episode in your life revealing your character, courage, zest and other cool things about you.

Then it can be your elevation module if you make the story inspirational enough. But you know what? It doesn't even have to be about you. Since you're the one who told it to her if you can tell a good elevation story, she will come to associate that story with you.

B) Share an peak experience that is inspirational.

Then that's real elevation right there if you have a peak experience together. Do some local hill-climbing, and at the end you will literally be elevated with a experience that is peak.

To have the oxytocin secretion (and therefore the bonding, trusting experience), Prof

Haidt found that the experience has to involve 'moral beauty' and perhaps not just virtuosity. Watching Michael Jordan play basketball (which is they actually did in the experiment), though awe-inspiring, won't do it. A speech by the Dalai Lama may are more effective. And take a copy of 'Walden' by Thoreau to read together when you have to the top of the hill.

C) Do public service together.

This is comparable to B, and it makes a heck of a first date as well. Go to volunteermatch.org to find a organization that is local your while.

D) Attend some spiritual service together.

If you're the kind that is churchgoing you know a pastor who gives a great sermon, go there. If you're of the same creed, even better. Everybody's going to be friendlier and more trusting after a good service, and today you know why.

The energy is within you,

Dr Alex

Read More Articles about Dating for Men - How to Create 3-D Super-Attraction on my blog http://gotryiton.tumblr.com/

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