"I didn't need to be helped" vs "but you could have saved me". "you needed it more than anyone." vs "why, and spoil all your fun?" "but not her. she can still be saved." vs "jiang stood between her and riga."
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i fucking hate mizole i HATE HIM HE'S THE WORST. i had a canvas open with several different full render full body drawings and i. made a few new layers so i could quickly doodle up a new discord pfp. of Mizole. and i merged the layers at the end to just copy paste it to a new canvas. and now it WON'T LET ME UNDO. all those other drawings are GONE NOW BECAUSE FIREALPACA DECIDED I NO LONGER HAVE UNDO RIGHTS (i should bc merging the layers is a one step process so wf???) ALL I HAVE LEFT IS MY STUPID ART OF MIZOLE. HE CURSED MY DAMN CANVAS.
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Kairi's fit for the #MonsterHouseParty being hosted by @sweet-chimera ! I'm so excited to see what kinda shenanigans she gets roped into, with or without her date <3
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Anyway I got notified that I'll be getting a nice $$ bonus from work today and I wish that I could celebrate with someone in a way that didn't just feel like obnoxious bragging. Like beyond the financial aspect, it's just nice to be recognized for good work and I actually feel... good?? about this job??
But it feels so silly to say I want to celebrate when I just got back from what felt like my first real vacation in a very long time and am doing cool comic con stuff this weekend and am scheduled for a new tattoo next weekend. I am already doing lots of things to try to make myself feel good! It feels selfish to want more!
But I guess even with all of that, there's just still a hunger for external validation from trusted sources. Will I ever grow out of wanting someone to be proud of me?
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