#all the time lyrics too...it just feels like a fable unfolding right in front of you

[canyousevmyheavydirtysoul]

Northern Downpour. (Ryan Ross x Reader)

Note: :)

Listen to- oh, who am I kidding? You all know what to do. ;)

 ‘Hey moon,

Found this little bistro a few blocks down from my apartment block. It’s really cute and homey – kinda like what you would be like, if you were a bistro.

That sounded weird, didn’t it?

I’m sorry, I’m not very good at this, as I’m sure you can tell. I hope my ineptness doesn’t scare you away – especially not before I’m able to take you out on a date. A real date. Not these Skype ones we’ve been having.

Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing your face in a freeze-frame during our crappily-connected video calls, but I’m certain that nothing will compare to seeing your beauty in person.

Did I mention that the bistro is Italian? I checked, and they have all of your favorites: lasagne, double-pepperoni pizza, triple-chocolate gelato… You’ll love it.

I know that I’ve said this perhaps a thousand times before, but lately, I’ve found myself thinking of this more and more – in fact, it's been all that has captured my thoughts for a long while now – I want to see you. In person, not through an insufferably small screen.

I want nothing more than to see you standing right in front of me. I know that it’s not the biggest of possibilities at the moment, but I have to keep reminding you of it.

Don’t think that all of these inconsequential barriers keeping us from being together will stop me from seeing you, because I assure you, moon, there is no force in the universe strong enough to keep us apart forever.

I will come for you.

If all our life is but a dream

Fantastic posing greed

Then we should feed our jewellery to the sea

For diamonds do appear to be

Just like broken glass to me

My heart, my soul, my life is yours,

Northern Downpour’

Ryan picked up the dried-out, pressed peony that was lying in wait on the desk next to the paper, and carefully slid it into the folds of the letter before placing the page into a faded yellow envelope.

He placed the piece of stationery safely inside the front pocket of his messenger bag before heading out the door; it reached you the next day, on the first of the month – just like all of his letters would.

~

The hasty manner in which you ripped open the envelope caused a laceration on the tip of your finger, but you paid no notice to the sharp sting as you swiftly removed the letter from the confines of the envelope.

Your heart fluttered as you unfolded the paper and saw the peony flurry out, your hand instinctively reaching out to catch it just like it had tens of times before.

Your eyes devoured his written words at lightning speed and before you knew it, you were sitting on the floor next to your wooden, paint-chipped coffee table, authoring your response.

 ‘Dearest Northern Downpour,

You should know by now that there’s no need to apologise for your adorably awkward mannerisms; I adore all of them. And I can only imagine that I would enjoy them even more if I were able to experience them in person.

The thought of seeing you has consumed my mind too. I want it more than anything in the world. Sadly, you know that it’s not possible, as heart-breaking as that is. A freelance writing job doesn’t exactly pay for the bills and an airplane ticket.

I’ve made lovely progress with my novel, though. So much so, that I’ve piqued the interest of an actual publisher, and I’m meeting with them next week. I’m counting on this to be my big break; I could use whatever they pay me to come and see you, and we can go on that date you were talking about.

You along with Italian food sounds like my perfect night.

How is your music coming along? Have you gotten any gigs yet? I miss hearing you sing to me; it was always the part of our video calls that I looked forward to the most. Try and get that laptop of yours fixed, won’t you? I miss seeing your beautiful face.

And those lyrics! Oh, they’re wonderful! I know that you’ve only sent me a few lines, but I have a strong sense that this is going to be my favourite song you’ve written so far.  

I have no doubt in my mind that we will be together. Whether it be tomorrow, next month, next year, ten years from now… I know that we will eventually find one another.

And that thought is all that’s keeping me going.

Yours. Forever and always,

Moon’

~

‘Hey moon,

The sound of your beautiful voice – breathless and bursting with elation as you relayed the wonderful news to me – made me so dizzy with happiness that I had to sit down for a moment. I’d forgotten how much of a high hearing you speak gave me; nothing in the world could ever compare.

I’m tremendously proud of you, darling. You deserve this more than anyone. I know how many sleepless nights this book has given you, so to hear that it’s all going to be worth it is absolutely wonderful.

Things are looking up on my side too. Brendon said that he knows a guy (I think his name is Pete) that might be able to get us a gig, so that’s good. Granted, it won’t be at the most exalted of places, but it’s a start. We’re actually crafting the setlist at present; I took a bit of a time-out to write this letter.

And because it was a tad overwhelming.

I’m aware that us getting a gig is a huge deal – especially if there’s a chance we could get noticed – but I can’t help but feel anxious about it. What if I mess up? Forget the lyrics or play the wrong chords? I know that this is something I’ve been waiting for my whole life, but now that it’s actually going to happen, I feel…

To be completely honest, I don’t know how I feel. Nervous, concerned, sick, useless, all of the above…

But whatever it is, I need it to stop. I don’t want to screw up and let the guys down.

I don’t want to let you down.

And then she said she can’t believe

Genius only comes along

In storms of fabled foreign tongues

Tripping eyes, and flooded lungs

Northern Downpour sends its love

 Hey moon, please forget to fall down

Hey moon, don’t you go down

 Sugarcane in the easy morning

Weather-vanes my one and lonely

My heart, my soul, my life is yours,

Northern Downpour’

~

Whatever interest you had developed in your friends’ conversation vanished instantaneously when you spotted the mailman walking the front path of your faded-brick duplex.

Your nearly empty coffee mug clanged as it was dropped onto the counter-top, catching both of the other girls’ attention. (Y/B/F) was about to question your sudden lack of grip on the piece of crockery, but once she saw you sprinting out the front door and to the mailbox, a knowing smile played on her lips.

Your other friend was not as enlightened, and she furrowed her brows. “What was that about?”

“Today’s the first,” (Y/B/F) smirked, taking a sip from her mug and pulling a smug face as you re-entered the room, “which means that she got a letter from loverboy. What’s he say?” she jerked her head at you.

Ignoring her comment, you practically ripped the pale envelope open, eager to get to the piece of Ryan’s thoughts that was inside. Per ritual, you stuck your hand out and caught the peony, clutching it to your chest as you began to read the letter.

Barely two minutes later, you were penning your response.

 ‘Dearest Northern Downpour,

Don’t you ever, ever, in a million years think that you could disappoint me – it’s just not possible. My love, I am so terrifically proud of you and everything that you do – everything that you create – because it’s all unconditionally magical. You have a gift, and an extraordinary one at that, to craft masterpieces that are able to evoke emotions in people that they didn’t even know they had. You’re a true genius, and I don’t want you to ever doubt yourself the way that you are right now.

As for the guys… I know that they feel the same way. They respect what you do. They adore what you do. And I know that they are exceptionally grateful to have you.

As am I.

You’ve made my world so much brighter and wonderful just by allowing me to know you, and the fact that I’m privileged enough to be able to call you mine makes me wake up with a huge smile on my face every morning.  

To hear you degrade yourself like that breaks my heart. Honestly. I wish that you were with me right now so that I could smack some sense into you.

You’re utterly remarkable, Ryan. Don’t ever think otherwise.

So you’re going to go to that gig, you’re going to get up on that stage, and you’re going to make everyone fall in love with you through your music.

I believe in you, my love. Stay strong.

Yours. Forever and always,

Moon’

 You’d been so immersed in your writing that you had momentarily forgotten about the presence of your two friends, reminded of it only when one of them spoke up.

“How long have you been together for, again?”

“Almost a year,” you sighed with a small smile, gently folding the paper up.

“And you haven’t seen each other in person yet?”

“Nope.”

She grimaced. “Have you said ‘I love you’?”

“No,” you said softly, retrieving a travel bottle of your perfume from the desk drawer, “No, we haven’t.”

~

Everything around him melted into a noisy haze as he stood backstage, guitar slung around his neck as his eyes scanned the page he held in his hand, re-reading the words for what must have been the thousandth time.

Once his pupils had swiped over your signature, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath – both to calm himself down and to inhale the faint scent of your perfume. The fragrance would’ve usually been more potent, but his constant handling of the fragile paper watered it down.

“Two minutes, Ry,” Brendon announced, nudging his friend in the shoulder.

After one last glance over the words on the paper, Ryan folded it up and placed it in the breast pocket of his jacket – right over his heart.

~

‘Hey moon,

I played that gig today. God, I was so nervous; I almost didn’t go through with it. The only thing that got me up on that stage was your words from the last letter. If it weren’t for you, I probably would’ve chickened out.

That being said – I need you to be at the next show. The image of your words on paper was enough to keep me going for tonight, but I’m not sure if that will be the case next time. I need you to be here with me. I need to be able to hold you before I go on stage, I need to hear you whisper that it’s all going to be okay, I need to feel your lips on mine as a silent reassurance…

I just need you.

Kinda weird, isn’t it? The fact that I need someone so badly, but I haven’t even met them yet. I have no idea how that works; all I know is that if I don’t see you soon, I’m going to go insane.

The ink is running towards the page

It’s chasing off the days

Look back at both feet

And that winding knee

I missed your skin when you were east

You clicked your heels and wished for me

 Through playful lips made of yarn

That fragile Capricorn

Unravelled words like moths upon old scarves

I know the worlds a broken bone

But melt your headaches, call it home

My heart, my soul, my life is yours,

Northern Downpour’

~

‘Dearest Northern Downpour,

I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am. You did it. I knew you could do it.

Just goes to show that I’m always right.

You know how much I love listening to you sing, and you know that if I could be there for you at every show, every gig that you play, no matter how big or small, I would. But I can’t right now. Believe me, it’s tearing me apart to not be able to be with you in the way that we both so desperately want. Ache for.

They say that money can’t buy happiness, but you are the thing that makes me most happy, and yet money is the only thing keeping me from you.

Cruel, isn’t it? That a couple hundred dollars is all that’s separating us.

I cried today. It wasn’t intentional; I didn’t mean to. I just thought of what it would be like to actually, physically be with you and I got a little bit too emotional.

There’s not much going on with me, otherwise. My book is still being edited – they said it could take up to another five months to finish. But I’m working on another story in the meantime, about long-distance relationships. Bet you’ll never guess where I got the inspiration for that.

Until next time, my love.

Yours. Forever and always,

Moon’

~

Ryan had just about finished reading your letter when the rest of the band barged into his room, panting and out of breath from running but wearing the biggest smiles on their faces. Ryan leaned backwards out of fear.

“What-“

“DUDE, WE WON!”

“Uh, what?” Ryan shook his head, utterly perplexed. “We won? Won what? I don’t remember entering anything.”

“That show we played the other night,” Brendon explained, rushing over to take a seat on the bed as the other two followed him, “Turns out it was actually a competition! They had undercover judges scoring all the bands that played that week in secret, and we came out on top!” Brendon let out a short, triumphant laugh as he threw his hands up in the air.

“Oh wow,” Ryan widened his eyes, looking at each of his bandmates in turn, “that’s awesome. Well done, boys.”

“But wait,” Spencer held up a finger, “there’s more. Tell him, Bren.”

“We made two thousand dollars, baby!” He exclaimed, practically jumping with joy. “That’s five hundred for each of us. Annnnnd, we get to go to the studio with Fall Out Boy and make our own demo!”

Ryan’s jaw dropped to the floor. “You’re kidding,” he chuckled before frowning and turning to the other two, jutting a thumb at Brendon, “He’s kidding, right?”

When no one supported his claim – just stared at him, smiling like idiots – Ryan let out an incredulous laugh before rushing to stand up.

“Did they give the prize money in cash?”

Spencer nodded.

“Good. Cause I’m gonna need my share.”

~

You stood still as a statue as you stared out the window, boring a hole into the mailbox with the intensity your gaze held. Your eyes flicked over to the clock hanging next to you on the wall, and you continued biting the sides of your fingers raw as you acknowledged the time.

The mailman was two hours late, and today was the first, which meant that every second that ticked by was torturous to you. You knew that sometimes things happen, and there could’ve been numerous reasons as to why the mailman was late, but that fact did nothing to ease your anxiety.

You were worried that something was wrong. That Ryan’s letter either didn’t make it to you this time, or that – God forbid – he hadn’t written one at all. It was a totally irrational thought, but it was present nonetheless.

After another thirty minutes or so of waiting, your nerves couldn’t take it anymore and you started out the door and to the mailbox, silently hoping and praying that the mailman had happened to do his deliveries early today.

Your hopes were soon shattered, however, when you opened the hatch and were met by sweet nothingness. The pain resounding in your chest could only be compared to taking a bullet to the heart; it hurt like a bitch.

Slowly and regretfully, you closed the hatch, trying your hardest to contain the emotions coursing through you. Said emotions were so powerful, in fact, that you hadn’t noticed the presence of someone behind you until they spoke.

“Hey moon.”

Your entire body stiffened as a gasp escaped your lips and goosebumps formed all along your skin. You knew that voice. You’d know that voice anywhere. Even when sounding from the deepest, darkest void of the universe, you would recognise that voice.

And you would run to it.

You almost gave yourself whiplash with how fast you turned around, but the sight before you was well worth it. There, standing right in front you, looking as adorably awkward as ever as he held a bouquet of peonies and a faded yellow envelope, was Ryan Ross.

Neither of you could repress the enormous grins on your faces, nor could you stop the tears from spilling over. You wanted to move, or say something, but you couldn’t. Fortunately, Ryan did it for you.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I felt the need to hand-deliver this one,” he explained, holding out the envelope to you; you gripped it with shaky hands, “I think it’s the best one I’ve written so far.”

Tearing the envelope open, you retrieved the piece of paper and unfolded it to reveal three little words.

‘I love you’

_______________________________

Thank you for reading x

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