#almost 6 full months out of Ch*potle
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working in fast food will give you eating disorders you’ve never even heard of
#eating disorder tw#ednos tw#almost 6 full months out of Ch*potle#where the manager worked us for 10 hour shifts without breaks#which isn't illegal where I lived! (:#the hunger the nausea the hunger that turns back into nausea#the total emptiness in your stomach#the way that you stop feeling hunger#the way that the nausea stays#the way that you can't tell whether you're hungry or full when you do actually eat#shoving a meal into your mouth while your stomach revolts against it#keeping food on the line and keeping food from coming back up#the dread of work making you too nauseous to eat breakfast#the awareness that something is becoming radically wrong with your body#getting 10 hours of fitful sleep and watching your hair fall out in the shower#not remembering to eat on your days off because your circadian rhythm is so thoroughly ruined#months later waking up in a sweat#having nightmares that you're at work again#the first time that you notice you're hungry again#your stomach growls and your eyes fill with tears because here it is#audible proof that my body is relearning its sensations again#phantom memories of shoving chips in your mouth while scrubbing the grill just so that you can feel something#shaking your fist at the store when you drive by#random intrusive memories of the crap that your manager pulled#and the sunrise of the smile that cracks across your face as you realize that he has no power over you#not now and not ever again
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