#also cesar is holding a phone…i know thats not like apparent but

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FINAL PAGE IN MY SKETCHBOOK!!!! gawd this took for EVER but this is my fav sketchboob so far omg

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Legends of Tomorrow  S03 EP1

Oh Boy.

Ohhh boy.

When the shows took a break, so did I. And life was good. Now arrow that was stomping on my balls, a new job, money pouring in…Aside from the Looming Threat of nuclear annihilation, life was good.

Till I made a mistake today. I decided to see how Legends of Tomorrow was doing, loading up the first episode and ready to watch the Season 3 Premiere of one of my favorite shows of the last year.

To say I was disappointed would be an Understatement. A tremendous one in fact.

I am not shy to say that this Premiere was probably one of the worst, if not THE worst episode I have seen of Legends so far. And keep in mind: We had some really bad ones.

When we last left our Team, time was kinda…shakey? Well, I don’t really know how to describe a Los Angels in the year 2017 that was loaded with time-displaced people, buildings, objects and well...Dinosaurs. And I gotta say, that was a fitting cliffhanger for the show. After all, Legends never shied away from being a bit more whacky, a bit more on the fun side than other shows.

What I saw in the first 5 minutes of the premiere of season 3 however, put me on a downward spiral of horrible writing. And that spiral did not stop for the next 35 minutes.

First of all? Rip Hunter is an absolute Asshole now. Apparently, he spends 5 years creating the “Time Bureau” an organization tasked with apprehending and fixing so-called “anachronisms” which is basically a fancy word for time anomalies. How these anomalies are caused are anyone’s guess since the Show does not deliver an explanation beyond: “Interacting with your past self’s screwed shit up” How that leads to Dinosaurs and Julius Cesar roaming through the year 2017 is anyone’s guess though.

For some Reason Rip Hunter has decided that the legends are no longer needed.Which is kinda weird because I can see a lot of uses for Superheroes in an Organisation that..you know..PROTECTS TIME ITSELF!

What comes next is almost unbearable and marks the most idiotic thing I have seen on Television since Felicity Smoak hacked a VHS Tape. (And I am still not over that.)

We see what the Legends are doing after..well being kicked out.

And the suffering begins with Sara Lance Sara works a mind-numbing job at a Bed Bath & Beyond knockoff. Now I did not watch arrow for almost 2 seasons, but I am under the impression that Sara Lance can get a better job than that.

Something that becomes even more baffling since she apparently uses her real name, a fact that is mentioned by her boss who flat-out states that she came back from the dead two times by now. And that she is lucky to be employed here.

Now maybe its just me but I thought that somebody who literally worked for the League of Assassins would have some false identities to, You know…

ASSASSINATE PEOPLE.

And while the show tries to tell us that Sara is just too cool for this job by letting her throw a Knife through the store, it does not make me laugh but rather makes me question this whole set up.

A Person like her should have no problem finding any job under any identity. She was trained to blend into virtually any crowd. And even if that does not work?

Let her works as an Instructor in a GYM! She is an Athlete, a fighter by Nature! Putting her in this ed Bath & Beyond knockoff l, makes no sense because it's completely out of Character for her to be here. Especially as Sara Lance.

Seriously?! Why her real name?

Even worse, however, is Ray Palmer..who basically works for Tindr.

Well, not Tindr. An App that is a rip-off of Tindr. Something they even mention because..funny?

What screws me up even more, however, is that Ray Palmer is literally telling his Boss that he can shrink organic and inorganic matter..To which is Boss responds that “if it's not on a phone, it's not the future”.

So in Hindsight: A guy who was hailed as one of the most brilliant minds on the planet invented a revolutionary device that will forever change the world…And a Company in Silicon Valley just looks at it and goes: “Yeah but it’s not on a phone dude.”

There is making a dumb joke. 

And then there is insulting my god damn Intelligence.

And the rest of the legends? Our Beloved Sgt.Steel has become a superhero, yet he picked Star City for his heroic exploits. Kinda weird considering that the city is virtually crawling with speedsters, but hey who am I to complain?

Jefferson went back to School and Dr. Stein went back to his family.

Which leaves me with Rory and Amaya. The latter has left the team off-screen, broke up with Nate off-screen and returned to her timeline, you guessed it, off-screen.

The former remains my saving Grace in this episode and starts off right here. What is Rory doing?

Drinking and chilling on Aruba.

That’s it.

A single Scene and I am already back on the Heatwave train.

Well until he encounters a new Anomaly: Julius Ceaser, literally riding in on his Horse.

Apparently, the Time bureau did not notice of the most important figures of History just leaving his own timeline behind, so the Legends try to warn them.

By entering the obvious, completely open Office Building. Secret Organisation my ass.

And of course..they are met with hostility and literally have guns pointed at their heads. Yeah. I was just as surprised. Way to treat the literal foundation for this whole organization, the people who saved time not once but twice by now.And that was assembled by Rip Hunter himself.

At which point I also have to note that the defeat of Eobard Thawne who literally reshaped Reality to his bidding is treated like a Mistake.In fact, the Bureau flat out calls it a bad job. Because I guess saving the world is not only not a big deal anymore but actively idiotic.

Way to go guys…Way to go…

What happens next is the Time Bureau being idiots.The Legends being Idiots.And well..everybody being idiots.

The Bureau flat out captures a Ceaser Cosplayer and thus believes the legends are lying, who have indisputable proof…but prefer to not show it and just steal the Waverider.

Why? How?

I don’t know.

After that, we see the teams new approach: Being like a scalpel instead of a Chainsaw.

And after proclaiming that its, of course, Sara who beats the everlasting shit out of Julius Ceaser in the middle of a group of Spring Break students.

Precision at its finest Miss Lance.

But Sara seems to have tremendous problems with heir own decisions anyway. After all, it's her who decides to bring Ceaser to the Bureau…after literally having decided against just that not 10 minutes earlier, leading to the legends stealing the Ship in the first place.

But of course, she changes her opinion again. 2 Minutes later.

And everything goes well. Except the fact that Julius Ceaser is able to steal a Book called “The Rise of the Roman Empire” from Nate.

Who literally holds it in his hands and does not notice until back in the Waverider.

Ceaser stole a book from somebody who literally held it in his hands...

Words fail me,

Of course, Time is fucked sideways now so it's up to the Bureau to fix it.

Letting them walk right into a trap set by Julius and his legion.

How a mindwiped Ceaser knew that a time-traveling Bureau was coming is anyone’s guess hough-.It should also be noted that ancient Romans speak fluent English, something the show tries to explain with some sort of time anomaly effect..Bust just as conveniently forgets about later to make a stupid latin joke.

To make a long and very stupid story short: The Legends jump back into action, kill some soldiers and get the book back which somehow fixes everything. How? Why? Who cares at this point?

All questions I can not answer.

Just like the question why Rip Hunter lets the Legends go back into action after literally berating them in every single scene he is in. Hell, they flat out tell them that they will continue with or without his blessing, a claim I have to question since he could just mindwipe them and send them back to their boring, stupid lives.

But then again: Logic went out of the window in the first 5 minutes.

All in all, this was just horrible and I seriously question who came up with this nonsense. The new Status Quo makes no sense since it goes completely against anything we have learned about Rip in the Last 2 Years.

Sara especially comes off as stupid and unlikeable and every attempt to be funny is just nauseating and forced.

I hope that Legends can go back to old forms real quick..because if this episode is any indication of what to come?

Oh, my…

Edit:

If you’re looking for logic Legends is not the show for you it’s literally supposed to be bizarre and illogical. Thats what I think makes it great

Guys, I appreciate your answers...But “illogical” is not the same as “unrealistic”.

Unrealistic is saying “A Man comes from the Planet Krypton and can fly”

Illogical is saying that i can fly because its monday.

Illogical is saying that Superman has heat vision because Batman took a bath.

Its illogical for Sara to work under her real identity because she literally has no reason to do that.

Its illogical that a tech company does not see the value IN A DEVICE THAT CAN SHRINK ANYTHING.

Tremendous difference.