#also her tattoos are cool and her Halloween costume served

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #241

“where once a heart was beating, nothing but embers glow. our love, it serves as kindling to stoke this flame’s inferno.”

Would you care if your partner did drugs etc? If it was legal here and just for medical purposes, I'd be fine with just weed. Otherwise, I treat the idea the same way as I would a tobacco smoker: no. Has anyone lost their virginity to you? I guess in a gay context? For two females, when is it really... "lost?" Idk. Do you live near a beach? Like... two hours away. Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired? Ha ha, yeah... Do you enjoy going through the car wash? I do, actually. I'm still a little kid when it comes to the rainbow soap, ha ha. Have you done anything embarrassing lately? Oh, I'm sure. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? One. Would you consider painting your bedroom purple? Noooo, it wouldn't be cute y'all. Do you actually wear every shirt in your drawer? Ha, no... mainly because there's a handful of them that I'm working to shrink back into. Then there's others I'm self-conscious of because of color and having hyperhidrosis out the ass. Just wearing black disguises sweat the best. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? I have one already, but I'm getting it covered at some point. I didn't put much thought into it and has no meaning to me now. I plan on getting the other collarbone tatted too, of course. Are you pregnant right now? Bitch fuck no. Do you still dress up for Halloween? Ugh, no, but only because I can't afford even things to put together my own costume. Not having anywhere to go only further discourages dressing up period. Who was the last male you talked to? My dad. Do you hate cuddling? Hell no, if I like you anyway. Do you have any bruises right now? No. Why did you take the last pill you took? They're my morning prescription meds. My last pill was for anxiety. Could you handle having kids? FUCK no. Nervous breakdowns would happen twice a week, I promise. What outfit makes you feel the most attractive? Attractive? In anything? What a concept. What do you think of people who always wear make-up? You do you, boo. What’s a smell that absolutely makes you gag? Gag, probably vomit. Or feces of some animals. Is there a smell that gives you headaches? GASOLINE. And fresh-cut grass. What do you do while you’re on campus but not in class? Sit in the library doing schoolwork or whatever on my laptop. Do you know anyone who has Autism/Asperger’s syndrome? Yes. Has anyone of the same sex ever hit on you? Yeah. Are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not? Yeah; been in one already and I'm still open to dating another girl. What do you think of people who litter and do you? I openly fucking despise you. So obviously not. How much time do you spend online daily? If I'm not in school, I can like... guarantee you I'm on the computer doing at least something. Not always the same site, but I'm somewhere. I absolutely hate how reliant I am on the Internet. Do you wear sunglasses regularly? I never do. I need prescription sunglasses. Who was the last person you called? My mom. Do you own a tablet of any kind? No. Do you tend to put things off until the last minute? OH YES INDEED. What are your parents’ natural hair colors? What is yours? Mom's is brown, and I cannot believe Dad was born with blond hair. HOW does that turn black. I was born dirty blonde. Are you afraid of getting shots? Nah, just the injection is kinda painful with how it burns. Do you hate it when people smoke around you? I very much so hate it. Have you ever wanted to vlog? Noooo, I'm too awkward for that. Always have been. What’s the last piercing you got? Tongue. Do you have a best friend? Ye. What’s your internet homepage? Google. Do you have a shower stall or a bath tub? A tub. When was the last time you saw someone attractive? In person? Idk. What do you hear right now? "I Am Hell" by Machine Head. This time last year, can you remember who you liked? Same person I like now. Did you speak with your father today? No. Are you currently frustrated with someone? No. Name one of your hobbies? Watch YouTube is high up there and like... the only thing I have motivation to do lately. I really hate it. I want my writing will to come back. What is your biggest worry in life right now? My lack of a job. Do you like hot or cold showers? Hot. Are you happy with your relationship status? I don't have a particular feeling about it. What colors would you like to have at your wedding? Depends on the season and the opinion of my spouse, too. How easy was it to get over the person you last dated? It didn't take too long, though it was really because the event left me believing we were, without question, getting back together once we are independent enough to live on our own/mutually move out. It's still possible we may, should life just play out where it works out, but it also was much easier to accept because we're still completely best friends. Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend? Not on paper, but pretty much. How old were you when you first smoked weed? But I never have. What is one thing that you’ve done that a lot of people said you couldn’t? Idk; I don't have a lot of unsupportive people in my life. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Mom. What was the last reason you cried? I listened to a song that deeply triggered my PTSD. Have you ever hated a song, and then later on found that you liked it? Yup, however that works. Did you have a good childhood? It was mostly normal, I guess? Do you play games on your PC? Just World of Warcraft right now. I started Alien: Isolation and Resident Evil 6 FOREVER ago, I just haven't had the motivation to finish either. Do you have a formspring? It's familiar, but I'm actually not sure what that even is. Do you know anyone that is racist? Welcome to the South. Do you have an active sex life? No. Are you defensive about anything? Yes. Have you ever driven 80+ mph? No. Have you ever changed a lightbulb? Yes. Have you ever gotten a bullseye in darts/archery? Darts, possibly. Never done archery. Do you have a Wii? Yeah. Do you own any animals that absolutely hate you? No. What brand is the computer you’re currently on? Acer. Are there any piercings you want but you’re too afraid it will hurt? The pain factor doesn't keep me away from piercings, so no. Do you think ear gauging is gross? When it gets to a certain width, to me anyway, it's pretty ew. I don't judge at all about someone having them, but it can get to a point where it just isn't appealing imo. Are you afraid of anyone in your family? Who and why? No. What’s the last scary movie you saw? Ummmm idk. It's been a long-ass time. I'm sure something in theaters, but I really don't know. Why aren’t you friends with your last ex? We are friends. When did you last spend the night at a friend’s house? A year ago when I was at Sara's. Did you ever watch 2Girls1Cup? Fuck no, I've never even looked into what exactly it is, but I know enough to know I don't wanna fucking see it. Do you have anxiety or depression? *shrugs* Why not both? Have you ever lived in a mobile home? No. Have you ever had your bedroom in a basement? Never even had a basement to begin with lol. Friend asks you to hide drugs, booze etc for them, do you do it? lol no. Animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out: Big spiders. I particularly like writing spiders/orb weavers though, and watching big spiders eat is just fascinating. Have you entered the Lays create a flavor contest? Oh man how long ago was that??? No. Bagels or English muffins? Bagels gotta win it for me. Who is a family member you look forward to seeing on a holiday? On Christmas especially, I love seeing my niece and nephew because they're just so excited. Brings me back to what it felt like as a little kid. Are Easter baskets only for kids? No. My sisters and I each had super cute baskets that Mom would fill until like... two years ago. Now that it's just me living with her, she'll just usually buy me a candy bar or something. Do you do anything to recognize St Patrick’s Day? No. Do you think nutcracker figurines are creepy or cool? No opinion. Speaking of nuts, do you like them? For the most part, no. There are instances however where I can enjoy like little pieces of them with other kinds of food, ex. chocolate. What do you do when you are nervous? Dead giveaway: I'm kneading/playing with my hands. I pace naturally, but I do so more frequently when I am nervous. I'll have a harder time making eye contact, too. Does your family have an SUV or pick up truck? No. Which of your parents do you laugh more with? Dad. Have you ever been to an open casket wake or funeral? Wake, yes. Who mows the lawn at your house? Some guy Mom knows through the dance studio. Where do you keep your phone at night? Usually to the right of my pillow, a bit far away, and up more towards the headboard. My bed's a queen-size and it's just me, so I have room where I won't hit it. If it has to charge though, then it's on the table beside my bed. Do you feel comfortable asking your parents or grandparents for money? No in almost every case. I'm only somewhat comfortable if it's Mom and I'm asking for like a snack from the gas station or something like that. What’s the last thing you lost? My phone, I think. If you could have your own car or an apartment, which would you choose? An apartment would be entirely useless as I am in no way competent enough to live alone yet, and a car wouldn't have much use seeing as I only have my permit and STILL pretty much never drive. It'd be more useful than an apartment, though. Last time you hid, and why: Uhhhhh. I have zero clue. How do you like your eggs? I'll only ever take them scrambled with cheese. Favorite Mexican food? Quesadillas. Upcoming event you are dreading? I'm happily enjoying it right now, but in another way, I'm dreading school break ending just because I am INCREDIBLY nervous about the effects of it on my legs with the whole muscle atrophy thing. I'm scared of regressing. Do you have a favorite pen? What kind? No. Do you do more surveys during the day or night? The day. Just shampoo, or shampoo + conditioner? Just shampoo. Conditioner adds oil to your hair, and trust me, my hair does NOT need any extra oil. Scariest driver you’ve ridden with: Dad the day he had to pick Nicole and me up from school and we had a 30-minute drive home. Basically, we got home in maybe 15 or less. He was in a fucking awful mood, speeding like hell, running red lights, passing illegally... I was entirely convinced we were going to die that day. Still one of the scariest of my life. Do you think you’re smarter than the average person? If so, why? It depends on the subject matter; in areas such as English, wisdom, stuff kinda like that, honestly yeah. In areas like common damn sense and mathematics, fuck no. What was the last topic you did thorough research on? Why? Paganism. I recently found that Neo-Paganism is the closest description for my spiritual beliefs; it covers such a broad spectrum, and it emphasizes the divinity of nature, free will (so long you are not inflicting harm upon another), the equality of man and woman (plus the beauty of humanity), and one of the concepts of the "ultimate being" includes not an actual deity, but just like this... source of energy and power. I don't even know if I believe it to be conscious, it's just like... the source, and it lies within nature. I'm still doing more and more research into it as I'm thoroughly intrigued, and I continue to feel more at home with its inclusiveness to an array of interpretations. What was the last thing to upset you? So beyond just an annoyance? Probably when this random fucking Facebook post of a father sharing just how proud he was of his son for killing wolves together and sharing purely evil photographs of them playing with/posing the bloody dead bodies (which included making them "snarl" at the camera, and mind you, their mouths were full of blood) popped up on my feed for no goddamn reason. Safe to say, I left a comment and got into a fight with a backwards son of a fuck who thought it was totally kosher to kill these "vermin" and used personal attacks versus logic to try in vain to prove his point, when all he did was accomplish me seeing him as the vermin. Where did you go to the last time you left your house? My sister's house. Do you wear something on your left hand/wrist/arm without fail? Friendship ring with Sara as well as the bracelet she gave me. What is an article of clothing you would never ever wear? Stealing the last answer of jumpsuits. Will you go outside today? Probably not. Are you doing everything you can to make yourself happy? Not everything. I know I could do more. What is a phrase or a saying you try to live by? I don't think I have a set one that I always look to. I refer more to ideas, such as to be unrelenting in your goals. What is something you lie to yourself about? I don't know. I'm not good at that. What has been the best job you’ve ever had? lol What is a holiday, that is NOT celebrated in your country, that you would like to celebrate? Day of the Dead. I know some do celebrate it here, but it's more of a holiday in Mexico. Which nation’s culture (excl. your own) do you find the most interesting? Germany's, from what I remember. We learned quite a bit about them while I took it as a language. They are very serious about honesty and manners. What is something you judge about other people? How you treat others, certain aspects of ones personality (ex., arrogance), and as the previous person stated, to a certain degree anyway, moral/political/religious beliefs. What is something you do not want to discuss? I get really uncomfortable talking about sex, and though no one in my "real" life knows about it (except perhaps Mom due to an outburst during the breakup), I don't like even looking back on the Joel situation. There are also some political things I just don't want to talk about. Do you enjoy solving problems? No, shit's stressful. Are you a kinesthetic, an auditory or a visual learner? Kinesthetic, 100%. Are you an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert? I'm a pretty strong introvert, though not as much as I once was. I can get lonely kinda quickly now, but I still NEED my alone time. Are you socially anxious or awkward? OH BOY AM I!!!!!!! Do you actually think it’s gross to talk about body functions? NO!!!!!!! This needs needs needs to be normalized because it's stuff we all endure, so we should be comfortable talking about these things, asking questions, etc. Have you ever sent a love letter? Yeah. When you look up at the sky do you ever NOT see a plane or vapor trail? Yeah. Welcome to the country. Do you wear any shoes with holes because you can’t give them up? No. When you go out to breakfast, what do you order? Pretty much always pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon. What’s the best compliment you’ve gotten from a boss/teacher? That when she came back to teaching, I was the exact kind of student she hoped for. What’s a weird or interesting nickname you gave someone? lmao the first one that came to mind was Connie's "Einnoc." Is there a phrase or mantra you repeat when you are frightened? No. What are you most envious of? Successful photographers lmao. Do you have a friend with a habit that worries you? Yes. Would you rather have coffee, cocoa, tea, or soda? UGH soda. That's my weaknesses. You could take sweets from me, but I'm pretty reliant on soft drinks. When you walk into your best friend’s room, what do you smell? I don't remember, actually... I haven't been there enough. Have you ever purposely broken something that belonged to a sibling? Wow, no. Have you ever worked at the same place as your best friend? No. Do you like to visit famous people’s homes? I've never done that, and I find it disrespectful anyway. Give celebs their privacy, goddamn. Do you take days off from shaving when you can get away with it? The only thing I shave are my armpits, and considering I don't shower everyday, yes. Every time I do take one however, I always shave. Is there anything hanging on your bathroom walls? No. If your SO agreed, would you want an open relationship? No. Have you ever slept with three people in the same bed? When? Why? At some point, yeah, but not in a romantic context. It was with friends or family when we had limited space. Does your family regularly eat sit down meals together? Pretty much never. Who would you like to slow dance with? To what song? SOBS "The Only Exception" by Paramore w/ Sara continues to sob What’s your favorite pet name someone calls you? None that I have now. If you could talk to one species of animal what would it be? Good question. I guess cats, as I have one and would love to know what he thinks. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever seen in person? An elephant, strolling RIGHT by the fence at the zoo. Have you ever used the change counting machine at a store or mall? Ohhh, I remember those! Yes. Would you give mouth to mouth to your dog to save its life? We have a dog I honestly can't stand, and this is gonna get me mentally punched, but I don't know. NO, not BECAUSE I don't like him, but I don't love him enough to deal with those germs. I don't think I could stomach doing it. If you came with a warning label, what would it say? "Is going to be uncomfortable if you say one word to her but craves friendship anyway." Have you ever tried to learn a language on your own? No. Have you ever had a pet destroy something valuable or important? The thing that upset me the most was when Teddy tore up the corner of one of my art pieces I'm most proud of. I cried. It was weird considering he never really tore up stuff... but alright then. What’s the best burger EVER? UGH I'm weak for Wendy's Baconators. Did you ever show up late for an important event? Probably at some point?

[notthecanadianaverage]

for the 50 questions, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ,6 ,7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, and 50 :)

LET’S DO THIS

1. What’s your favorite candle scent?

Honestly? I’m a basic bitch xD I love vanilla scented anything. Wooden wicks are the BEST. I want to find a candle that smells like fresh cut grass and a candle that smells like lumber. Those two scents, especially together, remind me of my grandpa who worked in a lumber yard and repaired lawn mowers. I treasure those memories so much omg.

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?

Does Amethyst count? I actually don’t know xD I honestly can’t even think of any celebrities that I like??? I’ll say Jenna Marbles!

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?

Again, I’m not really someone who goes nuts over celebrities, heh. I don’t know how to answer this D:

4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?

I mean, I’m 22 now and my fingers are crossed that it will happen soonish. The boyfriend lives in California and I think it might make things easier if we get married? Then he can come here!

5. Do you know a hoarder?

I don’t think so??? I mean I could be wrong.

6. Can you do a split?

I have tried for YEARS and I CANNOT DO IT ASLAJBODUBFODSUFNODSUBFLJDBFUBEF I FUCKING WISH I COULD

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

Fuck if I know... Damn... I remember learning when I was... I think I was... 4? Maybe? I was super young.

8. How many oceans have you swam in?

I’ve only seen one ocean, the Pacific Ocean. I don’t know if I’ve swam in it, though. I know I’ve touched it and waded in it a little, but I don’t know if I’ve actually gone swimming...

9. How many countries have you been to?

2! Just Canada and the US. I’ve always wanted to go to England and Indonesia, though! I love Harry Potter, I always have (fucking fight me) and I decided when I was little that England was a must for me, that I had to go see Hogwarts. And Indonesia, my inner volcanologist NEEDS to go! That’s where my favourite volcano, Krakatoa, is located. 

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?

I hope not! I don’t think so. Or... Maybe? I think my cousin Austin is. I don’t know. I don’t remember the last time I saw him. We don’t really talk about him? My boyfriends dad was, though. That’s all I know.

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?

OO OO OO!!!! So, my boyfriend and I have discussed this! I have a set of dog tags that I always wear that have our names and our kids names on them! We want two girls who will be named Raven Zaidee Trujillo and Dexter Rosie Trujillo. Dexter’s middle name was originally going to be Bonnuit (French for good night) but one of his best friends was sadly murdered earlier this year and he wanted to honor her memory.

12. What would you name your son if you had one?

ANOTHER QUESTION I AM EXCITED TO ANSWER!!!!! Our little boys name is going to be Blade Wayne Trujillo!!! I’ve always had a thing for the name Blade and Wayne was his dads middle name.

13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?

Ffffffff I can’t even remember what I did yesterday... Um, I think it was a flat out 0 because I didn’t even do the test. It was a physics test. I was scared of the student aid lady at school so I never switched out of physics and I literally used that block to sleep and play on my phone. I never even showed up to write the exam.

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?

Sailor Moon!!! I fucking LOVED that show!!!! I also loved Little Bear :D When I was 12, though, I was OBSESSED with this show called Disasters of the Century. It was a documentary style tv show about natural disasters and plane and train crashes and it was SO COOL. I LOVED IT SO MUCH. I used to wake up extra early before school just to watch!!

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?

Ummm…. I think I was a ninja? I remember I wore my karate gi out one year. I lived in Alberta at the time so there was like 2 or 3 feet of snow on the ground so I had to wear a snowsuit under my costume which was a HUGE disappointment because I was turned into a marshmallow rather than a ninja. Either that or I was Harry Potter. It was great! People always asked me though if I would rather be Hermione because I was a girl and my parents essentially told them to fuck off because I was HARRY FUCKING POTTER.

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?

YES. My apartment is almost entirely Harry Potter. I have an Expecto Patronum tattoo and my ratty memorial tattoo on my leg is also Harry Potter. I am a diehard fan until the end. Fucking fight me. I also read and own the Hunger Games trilogy. Such good books omg. I was in the Amazing Book Race club in school and one year we had to read The Hunger Games and we even did a book trailer for it! I still have it! We showed my boyfriend when he came out in April xD The books are MUCH better than the movies.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?

British! Does my Harry Potter loving ass need to say more?

18. Did your mother go to college?

I don’t think so? I’m not sure. I don’t know if anyone in my family has.

19. Are your grandparents still married?

Kind of? Not really. My Papa passed away from lung cancer in 2010. 

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?

Yes xD I started when I was 5 and I stopped when I was 13 I think? I got injured in a biking accident and had to leave. I was going to go back but as I was getting ready to, I got a really bad knee injury and I just haven’t been back. I really want to go back, though! It was fun and I don’t get nearly enough exercise.

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?

I sure as fuck hope I do!

22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?

I think it was Playland, my parents would have taken me when I Was super young. But the first amusement park I remember going to is Callaway Park in Alberta. I loved that place! I remember throwing a temper tantrum because my dad told the lady was 6 when I was actually 8 and I LOST MY MIND.

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?

Any language! I speak French but I would love to learn Michif which is the native language of Metis people as I am Metis c:

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?

I think I alternate, actually xD

25. Is your father bald?

Yes, he is! 

26. Do you know triplets?

I was about to say no, but I think I met triplet babies once who I may or may not be distantly related to? I’m not actually sure anymore.

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?

I’ve never actually seen either! I feel like the Titanic would be a no go for me, though, because I have issues with big boats and the fact that it’s real fucks me up and also James Cameron almost killed his cast by actually making them sit in ice cold water for the sake of hard nipples and realism????

28. Have you ever had Indian food?

I have had very badly made butter chicken once. It was so bad, WAY too much curry. And I think my boyfriend and I once ordered from an Indian restaurant. I ordered from the kids menu because that was the only place where there was non-spicy options xD

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?

Umm... Hmm... White Spot? Maybe... But I also enjoy El Grullesays Grill... I slaughtered that name ;_; It’s a Mexican restaurant in California that serves meaty fries! God I miss meaty fries... They’re like nacho fries! They have mozzarella cheese, sour cream, green onions, and shredded steak :3

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?

I actually don’t know. I think maybe? But I was too young to remember it. I think I’ve gotten leftovers, though, from when my grandma went.

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?

I’m too broke for that shit ._____.

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?

Pfft beats the fuck outta me. We never talked about that.

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?

Bug! 

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?

Honestly? My boyfriend xD He is one of the very few people in this world who doesn’t tolerate me because he loves and embraces all of my weirdness xD Him and G are my favourite peeps.

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?

I actually can never remember which is which and I mean, I’m not picky. As long as people leave me alone and I’m in a safe area, I’m happy xD

36. Can you whistle?

Yes! Can you hear me? I’m doing it!

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?

I do not. I used to want to when I was little. I have one in my bathroom, though.

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

Pfft. No. I’m not a breakfast person. I work nights so I get home at 7 in the morning so if I eat before I go to bed, no joke, I will just make a box of macaroni.

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?

I do! I take medication for my ADHD so that I don’t eat everything in my apartment and I can function somewhat normally.

40. What medical conditions do you have?

I am ADHD, I struggle with depression (it’s not nearly as bad as it use to be luckily), anxiety, I suspect BPD. I have a few joint injuries that will never really properly heal but other than that, nothing.

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?

Hehehe…. Um… For me? Food poisoning… injuries… suicide attempts… hmmm… 11 or 12 times? All but one in the last 10 years. What can I say, I’m clumsy as fuck xD

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?

Yes! I love that movie!! 

43. Where do you buy your jeans?

Pennington’s. I am THICC. It’s the only place I can get jeans that fit without destroying what little confidence I have. Sadly though they are NOT cheap so I currently only own 2 pairs that fit me and the thighs on both are destroyed so they are being held together by denim patches from an old pair of shorts, fabric glue and some mediocre hand stitching.

44. What’s the last compliment you got?

I have vibrantly coloured hair. Right now, it’s green. I’ve had very brightly coloured hair since I was 15 I think? My natural colour is brown. I’ve only had brown hair once since I started dying it and that was when I went to go visit my boyfriend for the first time because he had never seen me with my natural colour. I just said that I looked weird with brown hair and he said “No, you look incredible.”

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?

Hmm, sometimes. Most of the time, I do. Been having a lot of nightmares and stress dreams lately, though, so I wish I didn’t...

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?

I absolutely prefer herbal teas. My favourite is Just Peachy from DavidsTea!! I also REALLY love White Peach omg

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

Ahh…. Hmm…. I have… 8 or 9? I think? I’m not home so I can’t check.

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?

None. I grew up Atheist. I knew of religion, obviously. My grandma is religious. But I just never understood it. My understanding was that there was a God and that he lived in the clouds and I remember looking at the sky one day and there were no clouds and I was concerned. I also didn’t understand Heaven or Hell because neither have been seen and the lack of tangibility fucked with me so hard. My grandpa got really sick in 2009, he had lung cancer. I remember when he was in the hospital I really tried to look for something, anything, to turn to for comfort because everything was falling apart around me. He unfortunately passed away and I was angry because if God is real and if he actually loved us, why would he let us suffer the way that he did, the way that I was. How dare he?! That was honestly the last straw for me. If my children want to explore religion or they want to go to church and see what it’s all about, I will absolutely support them in doing so, but I will not raise them in any specific religion.

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?

That was something I just kind of grew out of. I was never exclusively told that any of that was fake. I actually have a memory from when I was 3 or 4 of sneaking out of my room really late at night and peeking into the living room where I could hear my parents talking and I saw Santa and Mrs. Clause? I also remember one Christmas night where I couldn’t sleep (this is when I was maybe 10 now) so I was watching the snow fall outside and seeing if I could spot Santa in the sky when I heard someone walking in the hall. I lived in a bit of an abusive household so I had learned what everyone’s footsteps sounded like and the footsteps were heavy, MUCH heavier than my dads (who was very overweight at the time), it definitely wasn’t my Uncle, and they were wearing shoes (or boots). I was too scared to go look outside while they walked away but after the house was quiet again, I checked, and my stocking was outside my door, so I still don’t know how to explain that...

50. Why do you have a youtube?

AHAHAHA SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION!!!! I obviously have my personal YouTube but I don’t generally post anything, I just use it to watch shit. BUT MY OTHER YOUTUBE… I use YouTube @RatPotatoez to post videos of my rats! I will also soon use it to post my podcasts!!! RatPotatoez can also be found on Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, Vent, basically everywhere! You should go follow me everywhere so you can see the cuteness that is my rats c:

[noxus-the-venomous-blog]

Part 2 Problems and Solutions

“Welcome to Broadsiders, the evilest bar on earth. Can I start you off with a beer?”

Noxious tilted his head. “I feel like that makes this place sound more cheesy than evil. Also i'll take two beers.” He rests on the barstool and pulls out his wallet. The table he leaned over was surprisingly clean despite the aesthetic around him. Multiple shades of wood panels made up the walls around him as if this was where Theseus’ ship was stranded. The setting also seem to oppose itself; along with pirate themed paraphernalia and expected things such as oars and anchors, robotic heads and lit up circuitry boards could be seen dotting the walls.

The bartender shrugged. “Yeah but the managers stress that we say it every time, especially to people in costume. Domestic or imported?” she asked while approaching the tap. Her appearance, like the rest of the bar, was a contradiction. She looked as though a cyborg was wearing a Halloween pirate costume. A cheap tri-corner hat sat atop over braided hair, while a corset and Naval jacket only slightly covered a body tattooed with cogs and machinery.

“Domestic… No imported.”

“Too late, already pouring.” she spoke snidely holding the glass with a glove meant to look like a futuristic prosthetic

“Blasts… Wait what do you mean costume?! This isn't a costume!” he insisted while running a gloved finger over the rubber of his mask, “this is a required safety tool in my profession. I mix chemicals that can undo the world and warp your mind into a brainless-”

She cut him off. “Where are they?”

“What?”

“Did you bring these chemicals with you? Are they here now?”

“No…”

“Then you don't need the mask and wear it anyway. That’s a costume. Besides, a good a trenchcoat and an old gas mask ain’t exactly modern science apparel,” she said smugly while handing him a beer, “don’t be offended, if it weren't for people into dress up this place would close down.”

Noxious looked around the shabby bar to see all manner of obscure personas. People with fake halos, fursuits, anime cosplay and facial adornments. “This place is like a comic book convention… But without the oxygen, optimism and joy...”

“Yeah we were going for that. I think the owner got rich off of collecting comic books. It's a nerd watering hole,” she explained pushing the drinks forward.

Noxious gazed down at them grimly. I’m not a nerd...

The woman walked away to serve other customers. Noxious pulled out a small black tube he had rolled and banded in his coat and began straightening it out. He attached it to the rubber port on his mask, let the other end fall into the beer and slowly took a sip.

He crinkled his nose up at it. “Too cold..”

Noxious then removed the tube and placed it on a napkin in front of him. He stared impatiently at the condensation forming on the glass as a rather bulky man took the bar stool next to him.

“Both those beers for you?” the large man said, leaning forward and resting his elbows across the dusty wooden bar. He was shirtless and dotted with scars. As Noxious stared at him from the corner of the plexiglass goggles, he couldn't help but wonder if the man had been sweating or was just naturally shiny. Noxious decided he didn’t like either of those explanations.

“Yes...” Noxious uttered, degloving his hand to feel the temperature on the side of his glass.

The big guy chuckled. “I like that tube thing. You look like an anteater when you use it” He gestured the bartender over to them.

Behind his mask, Noxious rolled his eyes and continued to feel the glasses.

“Beer ain’t gonna bite you kid,” the larger man said with a smile, “at least the first two won't. Name’s B P, pleasure to meet you.”

The goggles on nox’s mask fogged for a moment as he felt a tingle on his neck. “Your voice. Your size. I know you, your that guy who beat up all those security guards at that bank… Crap I shouldn't have said that so loud!” he stammered, wondering if he just made an enemy.

“Heh, don't worry about it. The people here… Well excuse my french but they dont give a yiff about what you say. Everyone here is either roleplaying, or playing a role if you get my meaning.”

“Yeah...” noxious agreed, although he in fact didn’t get what the other man meant.

“Anywho I think I know who you are too. You’re that blurry guy on all those security cameras whenevers there's a science related break in... Toxic?”

“Noxious.”

“You still should consider the ant eater,” BP suggested as the bartender finally returned. “Hey let me get two beers just like my friend here.”

She began to pour from the same tap. “Also me and him are big time villains so we shouldn't have to pay”

A now embarrassed face hid behind the rubber mask. Noxious began to imagine if it was possible to lean back far enough to vanish inside the mask like some sort of phantom turtle.

The bartender rolled her eyes. “Yeah yeah I'm sure. Table fifteen says they work for lord vader himself, Table four is a vampire and the guy in the lounge says he can travel through wires and live inside computers. But here in the real world drinks aren't free. And we don't take coins or magic currency either.”

Noxious let out a sigh of relief. Now he understood why this bar was recommended to him. He leaned over and felt his beer, realized it was the right temperature and quickly re-assembled his straw. He downed each glass as fast as he could, pulled that straw out and tried to catch his breath.

BP seeing this growled, “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED,” and began inhaling each of his beers.

Noxious just blinked. “You can't drink slow with a straw. If it’s too cold it would have hurt my head but another few moments and it wouldn't have been cold enough.”

“You know what you like, I'm all for that! So what's your angle? Poison the world?” asked the heft villain while gesturing for more drinks.

“...I feel as though the world needs to be medicated and im trying to invent the perfect plan on how to do it.”

“Crap that sounds nobel.” BP stated as the bartender slid them four more drinks. He stroked his spiky beard curiously and asked, “then if you’re pro chemicals why wear a mask that blocks chemicals?”

“This mask is modified… In the chamber is a small atomizer giving me a slow release of my own toxins. It makes me build a tolerance to the fumes I have to work around,” noxious explained, proudly, he had always wanted someone to ask him that.

“I thought you were gonna say because it looks cool, which I would have accepted, but your answer is way better. So how are you not high as a kite during that process?” he leaned back in his chair, eying Noxious curiously.

“Unavoidable. On my way over here I could see sounds...” Noxious trailed off staring up at the ceiling. “But it will all be worth it.”

“Damn right it will be. Believe in the road you pick or spend your whole life feeling lost.” BP stood up and downed one of the beers. “When I was a kid I was always a problem. Parents couldn't take me anywhere. Never did good in school. When I got work, everyone figured if things went wrong I would be the problem. If matters required delicacy I would be a problem. My whole life I've been called the problem of any situation i find myself in. So I decided own it. Wear it like a badge.” He beat his chest with one hand proudly. “I AM WHO I AM AND THAT WILL ALWAYS BE A BIG PROBLEM PROBLEM TO SOMEONE!” He paused. “...But I don't have to make that a problem for me.”

“You seem like good people BP… Wait… BP… “ Noxious recoiled.

“Yeah. BP stands for big problem”

“I knew that.” noxious grumbled, although he did in fact not know that until now.

[smalleststress]

Meow, tabby, treats, Siamese, paw, purr, ragdoll, hissing

Gladly! Anything for my favorite artist :)

Meow:  Who is your favorite artist at the moment?

I really like Dodie Clark rn, her music is very relaxing to me. SZA, Bastille, and Kehlani have been pretty frequent on my playlist, feel free to send me recommendations, I’m always looking for new music👌

Tabby: You have any weird/hidden/obscure talents? 

I can whistle pretty well, though that is mostly just to annoy my dog… I don’t have any talents that are especially odd, I can touch my nose with my tongue if that counts for anything??

Treats: Favorite snack? favorite drink? favorite snack-drink combo?

Oh that’s tough… I really like fruit and chocolate! The two together are so good, had some last night and hell yes. As far as drinks I’m not too picky, I’m cool with just water lol

Siamese: Any tattoos/piercings? (if so: which? if not: which would you get?)

Not yet, but I have two tattoos already planned out that I will be getting as soon as I find an artist I want to do them! One is a dedicated to my childhood and the other is about my military experience.

Piercings? I’m not a big fan of them on myself but my gf says I would look cute with a nose ring so maybe I’ll try a fake one. ( She wants to get a lip ring which I think would look hella cute on her)

Paw: What movie could you watch 1000 times and not get bored of?

Spirited Away without a single doubt. That movie has such heavy nostalgic value and is relaxing to the max for me, I love all studio Ghibli but this movie is number one in my eyes. This makes me want to watch it again right now…

Purr:  What was your best Halloween costume?

Technically I wasn’t dressing for Halloween but I am currently sick, and to be polite I am wearing a face mask since I don’t want to spread it even though I’m not contagious.

I sent my gf a picture of myself when I was feeling the outfit I was wearing and she called me a, and I quote, “ Sexy quarantine patient”. This will be my best Halloween costume.

( I did a pretty rad bloody, cut up zombie Hunter one year and made my own bloody nailed baseball bat )

Ragdoll:  What’s something you wish you could like or get into, but you just can’t?

Watercolor painting. It looks so cool and aesthetically pleasing! I don’t have the patience at all to do it though or the knowledge of how the fuck colors work😅 Also want to learn more languages but that again takes Patience that I lack

Hissing:  Give a controversial opinion!

Pineapple on pizza is really good and everyone is just mean.

Majority of youth in the army actually dislike our current president and are serving for other reasons. ( It’s like a huge amount of us that actually hate Trump tbh)

[calliopesquill]

A Year in the Life: Chapter 5

Guess what! I decided to post before midnight tonight lol 

You all are seriously amazing, you know that? The responses I have been getting for these last chapters have been incredible and I can't thank you enough.

Special thanks to all of you who left me such wonderful comments. It really makes my day every time I get one and there are a few these last couple weeks that almost made me cry. So really, thank you. 

With that said, on to chapter 5!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 5: La Familia Rivera

         Nell needed to start setting alarms when she worked. She’d gotten so buried in her novel planning and concept sketches that it was three in the afternoon before she finally surfaced, and that only happened because her stomach had let out a growl loud enough to wake the dead. She pushed herself away from the table with a groan, letting out a muttered curse as she stretched, her back protesting at the hunched position she’d been in for the last three hours. It was definitely time for a break.

         She shuffled across the kitchen to her fridge, only to find it almost totally empty. Right… I was supposed to go grocery shopping this morning.

         She sighed, shutting the fridge again. Better to do that now, and maybe grab an early supper on the way. She was too hungry to cook. But first she should probably get dressed. Her style may be casual, but it definitely wasn’t “leave the house in pajamas” casual. Nell traded her pajamas for a pair of comfortable flower-printed shorts and a white tee shirt, twisting her hair up in a messy bun as she stepped into her pink ballet flats. After a quick double-check that both her keys and wallet were still in her purse, she was out the door.

         As she walked, she went over what she’d come up with for her new novel so far. It would be narrated by the guitar itself, a twist that she would not be revealing until near the end. She didn’t have much for her protagonist yet, but was toying with the idea of him stealing the guitar for himself at first, so the story could be something of a redemption arc for him as well. There would be no familial connection between the hero and the guitar’s original owner, however. She wanted to tell her own story, not just re-tell something that had already happened.

         She was contemplating the design of her main character when she was nearly knocked off her feet by a small, bony form. The dog continued on past her to dance around the feet of an old woman in a blue button-down dress.

         “ ¡Oye! ” The woman protested, shifting the grocery bags she carried to one arm so she could shoo the dog away. “ ¡Abajo! Abajo, perro tonto. ¡No saltar! ”

         The dog, completely ignoring her commands to get down, jumped at her again, knocking her bags from her hands in its attempts to smother her with affection. It only backed away when it saw her reaching for the sandal on her foot, electing instead to plop down next to her and begin chewing on its own leg.

         Muttering to herself, the woman began to pick up her spilled groceries, letting out a muttered oath when she saw the strap on one of the bags had snapped. She looked up when she saw a second set of hands gathering up the spilled fruit and reached for her sandal again, prepared to fight off any tonto stupid enough to try to steal from her. But instead of running off they pulled a folded-up cloth bag from inside their purse and began putting the spilled food inside to make it easier to carry.

         Nell stood, brushing off the road dust, and offered the woman a hand to help her up. “ ¿Estás bien? ” She asked, picking up the bag of groceries she’d helped pick up.

         “ Si, gracias ,” the woman answered, then shot a fond but vaguely frustrated look towards the dog that still sat at their feet. “No thanks to you, silly dog.”

         “Is he yours?”

         “He thinks he is,” the woman shrugged. “He comes to the house sometimes, looking for food. He is very fond of my grandson.” Now that she could actually get a good look at the person who had helped her, she recognized the young woman who often sat in the plaza. “You are one of Coro’s tenants, si? The artist.”

         “My name’s Nell,” she said with a smile. “It’s nice to meet you. Did you want some help getting these back home?”

         “Ah, I will be fine,” the woman said, waving her off. “As long as someone --” Here she shot another look at the dog, who gave her a harmless doggy smile. “--does not jump on me again.”

         “Aw, you won’t jump again, will you?” Nell asked the dog, giving him a scratch behind the ears. The dog gave a small huff, leaning into her hand as his skinny tail beat a tattoo against the ground. “Cuz you are a good boy.”

         The dog barked the affirmative.

         “You are a nice girl,” the woman decided. “My grandson, he says very good things about you.”

         “Your grandson?”

         “ Si. My Miguelito. He talks to you sometimes when you draw at the plaza.”

         “Oh, you’re Miguel’s abuelita !” Now it all made sense. “It’s a pleasure to meet you at last. And that must mean that this handsome boy here is Dante.”

         Elena snorted. ‘Handsome’ was not exactly the word that she would have chosen. What he was was dumb as a bag of rocks, but he was sweet-natured and very dedicated to her grandson, and the rest of the family by extension, so she’d developed a soft spot for the silly thing. “You are very good with dogs,”  she noted, seeing Dante roll over so Nell could scratch his belly.

         “I always wanted one growing up,” Nell confessed as she gave in to his desire for pets. “But my dad was allergic to the hair. Couldn’t handle cats either, so I never had a chance to have a pet growing up. And then after I moved out on my own I couldn’t really afford one so… “ She shrugged.

         “This one seems to like you,” Elena said with a small nod. “He is very foolish, but he knows good people. You will come for dinner.”

         “Thank you. I -- wait, what? Oh, no, you don’t have to. That’s very generous but --”

         But Elena overrode her protests. “Nonsense. You will come tonight and meet the family.”

         “I --- okay.” What else could she say? “Is there anything you’d like me to bring? I could make dessert.”

         “No, no. I have all that I need. You will come tonight for six and we will have a nice dinner.”

         “Ah… Okay. Thank you.”

         Despite protests, Nell insisted on escorting her home anyway, telling her to keep the cloth bag that the extra groceries had been carried in as Elena’s other one was broken. The moment the door had closed Nell dashed off down the street to the grocery store.

         She ended up making chocolate chip cookies, though she’d had to borrow a pair of baking trays and a serving platter from Tia Caro. She had been told not to bring anything but she had been strictly mother-trained not to arrive empty-handed when it came to dinner invitations. As the cookies cooled, Nell traded her shorts and tee-shirt for a casual emerald green maxi dress topped with a candy pink knit bolero sweater. Mindful that she was visiting a family of shoemakers, she paired her outfit with a pretty pair of black and gold strappy sandals. Her hair she tied back in a low, looped ponytail that would keep the curls out of her face, but would not give her a headache as the night went on.

         She walked carefully towards the Rivera home, praying that she wouldn’t trip and spill all of the cookies before she got there. It might have been early October but to Nell it still felt like mid-summer. The leaves would have just started to change color back home and the neighborhood kids would all be in a tizzy picking their Halloween costumes. She smiled fondly at the thought. Halloween had always been her favorite holiday, though more for the costumes and the candy than the spook-factor. Funny enough, Nell could not handle horror movies or haunted houses at all. Her friends had tricked her into watching A Haunting in Connecticut one night and she barely slept for a week.

         She’d be missing Halloween this year, but would be trading it out for her first experience with Dia de los Muertos. Already people had begun decorating, draping colorful cut-paper banners between the buildings. There were areas of Santa Cecilia where the little flags were always present, but there were always more come fall. It was a little early for people to be putting out the elaborate calaveras figures that were also used to decorate, but Nell did spot one or two between her place and the Rivera’s.

         Thankfully she made it to the house without incident and knocked on the front door at promptly five minutes to six.

         The woman who answered the door was just shorter than she was, dressed in a cheerful yellow blouse and a bright pink skirt. Her hair was dark and straight, tied back in a low, loose braid. She had a youthful face, with smile lines just appearing around her eyes  -- some of which, Nell guessed, could be attributed to the toddler at her hip.

         She smiled when she saw her. “Ah, you must be Nell. Mama told us you would be joining us for dinner. Please, come in.” She nudged the door open with her foot, stepping back so Nell could follow her into the courtyard.

         “ Gracias, Señora Rivera. ”

         “Please, call me Luisa,” the woman insisted, resettling her daughter on her hip as she closed the gate. “And this one here is my youngest, Soccoro. Miguel has told us so much about you. He says you are an artist.”

         Nell nodded. “Yes ma’am.”

         “Miguel really likes your books. He wanted to bring them home from the library so he could show his prima Rosa but they did not have them, so he has been showing her on the computer during their lunch hour. She really likes your heroine.”

         “I’m glad they’re enjoying it so far,” Nell smiled. “I had a lot of fun writing it.”

         “It shows. Ah, but you must be tired of carrying that tray. Come, I will show you to the kitchen. Mama should be just about done with dinner.”

         “She told me not to bring anything but I wanted to contribute somehow,” Nell admitted, following Luisa through the courtyard. “I’m better with desserts than actual meals, so I figured chocolate chip cookies would be a good option.”

         Luisa chuckled. “We will have to hide those from Miguel until after dinner. And this one too,” she added as little Soccoro reached for the tray.

         No sooner had she said that than Miguel burst from his room, still dressed in the white button-down shirt and navy pants of his school uniform. “Mama I’m done my -- hey! Nell! What are you doing here?”

         “ Ay! Manners mijo.  Your abuelita met your friend this afternoon and invited her over for dinner.”

         Miguel cocked his head curiously. “How did you meet abuelita?

         “A certain affectionate xolo decided that the best time to give her kisses was when she was carrying groceries,” Nell told him. “I just happened to be nearby and helped her pick them up.”

         He laughed. “Dante is still working on his timing. Are those cookies for us?”

         “After dinner, mijo ,” Luisa told him. “Your abuelita should be almost ready, so why don’t you get out of your school clothes and you can help set the table.”

         “Okay Mama.”

         Abuelita Elena was the undisputed head of the Rivera family. She was a life-long shoemaker but it was in the kitchen where she truly reigned supreme. Everything was timed to the minute on an internal clock born of practice and instinct. Nell, who could not put a perfectly-timed meal on the table if her life depended on it, wanted to applaud. Elena seemed to know everything that was going on in her kitchen at all times and even though her back was turned, she was instantly aware of other people entering her domain.

         “Ah, Luisa! You are just in time,” she said, not even turning around as she plated up a tray of ribs in a spicy-smelling sauce. “And you have brought Penelope with you. Good. I like it when people are on time.”

         “I’m obsessively prompt,” Nell smiled. “And please, call me Nell. I brought some dessert for later. Is there somewhere I can put it where little cookie-monsters won’t be able to help themselves before dinner?”

         Elena gave a short snort of laughter. “Anyone in my house knows there will be no desserts until after their dinner. For now you can put them on top of the fridge.”

         Not for the first time Nell was grateful for her height, as she barely had to stand on tiptoe to set the tray atop the fridge. As with many homes it was a local showcase of family achievements; well-graded assignments and art projects from the varying Rivera cousins covered the door, fixed with colorful magnets. As she turned away she could see Elena glancing at her sandals out of the corner of her eye.

         “Your shoes. They are pretty, but they were not made for you. They are too flat. You move like a dancer, but in those things you walk like a duck.”

         Nell let out a snort of laughter. “I was a dancer, from about the age of four. Quit after I finished university because I moved out and couldn’t pay for lessons anymore. Took three years as an adult to train myself out of that turn-out so I could walk with my feet parallel again.” She still caught herself standing in ballet-third when she wasn’t paying attention. “I have a hard time finding sandals a lot of the time because most of them come in four styles: cute but flat as cardboard so zero arch-support at all, cute but with massive heels and can only be worn for like an hour before you want to die, cute but eat your feet and leave raw patches and blisters, and comfortable but really ugly. There is no place for ugly shoes in my wardrobe.”

         Elena nodded in approval of the sentiment. There was no place in the world for ugly shoes at all in her opinion. Cheap shoes were an insult to her craft. No Rivera would be seen wearing cheap, poorly-constructed shoes, and if she had her way then no friend of the Riveras would either. “Come, you take that plate there and help me set the table and we will talk about shoes that you can wear for the rest of your life.”

         “I -- okay.” What else could she do? She didn’t want to come out and say that custom-made shoes were not a luxury that she could afford right now. Most of what she had had gone into this trip, and though her book sales and commissions were keeping her afloat, they didn’t leave much room for luxuries. She took the plate and followed Elena into the chaos that is the dining room.

         Seeing the number of people gathered, Nell stopped short and stared. When Elena invited her to dinner she didn’t think it would be with the whole family. It looked like half of Santa Cecilia had managed to fit itself around the table.

         “Come, come. Put that plate down right here. Si, right next to the tamales. Manny, Benny, stop teasing your prima Rosa and come sit down. Abel, you shuffle down and make room for our guest. Todos, esto es Penelope. Penelope, mi familia.”

         “Ah...hi everyone.” Nell set the plate down and gave a shy wave. “Please, call me Nell.” Should she start wearing a sign? She really felt like she should start wearing a sign. Something simple like ‘ Please do not call me Penelope until I am over the age of 65. Thank you.’

         A seat was left for her between Elena and a woman who introduced herself as Miguel’s Tia Gloria. She then introduced Nell to her twin boys, Benny and Manny, who were a couple of years into elementary school. They weren’t particularly interested in introductions, and were much more focused in which of them could stuff the most food in their mouth at one time.

         Miguel’s father Enrique, a tall man with a dark moustache, passed a platter of food to his wife before turning to Nell. “So, Miguel says you’re an artist.”

         The question was offered casually but Nell had the distinct impression that what she was being asked was actually something very different. “Yes, sir. I write graphic novels -- comic books -- but I take other commissions as well. I’m setting my next series in a place similar to Santa Cecilia so I’m living here for a few months as I work on it because I want to get an authentic feel for the culture and the lifestyle and the architecture. I spend a lot of time doing reference sketches in Mariachi Plaza. It’s got really great atmosphere and that’s something I really wanted to capture. Then that one over there --” She nodded at Miguel. “--got curious one day and decided he wanted to know who the weird turista was who kept writing everything down in a giant notebook.”

         “You should see her sketchbook. It’s really good,” Miguel told them. “She was drawing the bell tower yesterday and it was just with pencils and it was perfect! It looked like one of those old-timey pictures.”

         “We read your comic at lunch sometimes,” added Rosa, who sat a few seats down from her cousin. “We just got to the part where Polaris and Astra start working together.”

         “Have you gotten to the mirror incident yet?” Nell asked.

         Rosa shook her head. “Not yet.”

         “Let me know when you get there. That was one of my favourite chapters in the whole series.”

         The conversation flowed freely throughout dinner, catching up with the goings-on at school. Abel was taking some online CAD courses for the business, and there was some discussion between the other family members on designs and techniques that they were experimenting with. Miguel mentioned briefly how he’d started reading Dante’s Inferno , which had the entire family in stitches when Benny and Manny asked how the little doggy wrote a book. Nell also got a more in-depth history of the business itself.

         “I think it’s really admirable what Imelda did,” Nell said honestly. “Running a business is really difficult, and at the time, being a female entrepreneur would have been that much more challenging. Never mind being a single parent on top of that. So that she created such a successful business that has stayed in the family for so long is really incredible. Add the complication of foreign investment and multinational companies with giant factories, it must be challenging sometimes to stay competitive.”

         “ Si , it is sometimes,” Miguel’s father answered with a shrug. “Much of our business is local. Most people here, they would rather be able to see and feel the thing that they are buying, so that is a benefit to us.”

         “We did get that magazine placement a couple of years ago,” Gloria added. “That telenovela star. What was her name? She mentioned us in an interview and wore a pair of our boots for a photo shoot.”

         “There is always a market for quality custom work,” Elena nodded. “Work that lasts. That is a legacy worth protecting. Would you like some more tamales?”

         Nell leaned back in her chair and shook her head. “No, gracias. They are delicious but I am stuffed.”

         “No, no, there is plenty of room left. You are so skinny! Have another.”

         “You know, I think I’ve heard that from everyone at Tia Caro’s building,” Nell laughed as she accepted one more tamale. “I think she might have decided to adopt me. Ten bucks says she must be half-way through the paperwork by now.”

         Elena gave a nod of approval. “Caro is a good woman. She takes care of her familia. ” It didn’t matter if they were related by blood or simply lived in her building. All were considered family. And that, to Elena was the most important thing.

         How anyone at that table had any room for cookies after that meal, Nell had no idea. But somehow they did, and managed to empty the tray in record time.

         “Have you figured out the plot yet for your new comic?” Miguel asked as he and Rosa started clearing up the dishes.

         “Part of it,” Nell answered. “I was working on some of the background and lore this morning. The story is going to center around a cursed guitar.”

         Miguel paused, setting down the plates that he had been stacking, memories of her inquiries about is own guitar immediately springing to mind. “How did it get cursed?”

         She hesitated for a moment. As much as she really wanted to be able to use this idea for her books, she worried it might hit a little too close for Miguel. She would leave it for him to decide if he was comfortable with her continuing, or if he wanted her to write something different.  So she gave a cursory explanation of the concept of the tsukumogami and how the guitar had developed a spirit of its own. “And what the guitar wants is to finally see justice done for its murdered owner, and to be played again by someone who is worthy.”

         “Cool!” Rosa declared. “Who killed him?”

         “No spoilers,” Nell grinned at her. “But if you guys want I can show you some of the concept art I’ve got later.”

         Miguel hesitated, not entirely sure how he felt about the idea. On the one hand, it was a little weird knowing that part of his family’s history, even a small part, was going to be used in a book. But if there was anyone that he trusted to do it respectfully, it was Nell. He’d caught the look she gave him when she explained her idea and knew that she would not proceed with it without his go-ahead. And aside from that… a graphic novel series about a sentient guitar would be really, really cool.

         He flashed a crooked, one-dimpled smile and nodded. “Can’t wait!”

         When Miguel met with Nell that night, he knew that he was right to trust her. What she had planned did briefly allude to the history of Hector and Ernesto, but not in any way that would be recognizable to anyone but him.

         In her story, the guitar was a family heirloom. The father was a brilliant musician with a poet’s heart. He and his wife had two sons. The eldest son was bold and adventurous and loved music too, though more for the attention that his talent brought him than for the music itself. The younger brother was just like his father, who loved the music for its own sake. And when the father died, it was the younger son that he gave the guitar to. But the older brother was a jealous sort, always seeing himself as second place, even though he was the oldest. He was determined to be liked, and cultivated a fine and charming manner in order to endear himself to those around him, but he could never match the simple sincerity of his younger brother. They were both talented, but when they performed together it was easy to see whose heart was really in the music. They travelled together, performed together, and all that time the older brother’s jealousy festered within him. Until one night, after a particularly bad fight and a few too many drinks, he smothered his brother in his sleep.

         The death was mourned as a tragedy, a sudden failure of the heart in a time where forensic evidence and investigation barely existed. Nobody even considered the possibility of murder.

         The older brother inherited the guitar by default, and did become a fairly well renowned musician on his own. He would never admit that the guitar that had become his trademark never sang as beautifully for him as it did for his father and brother. He performed until his death in 1931, when an earthquake caused the roof of the theater he was rehearsing in to collapse on top of him, burying him alive.

         The guitar was salvaged from the wreckage without a scratch on it and was held in private collections until the mid-1990’s, when it was installed as part of a music history exhibit in a local museum. Stories say that sometimes, late at night, you can still hear the sad melody it plays, mourning its lost musico.

         “You gotta write that,” Miguel insisted after hearing what she’d planned. “What happens next? Is that it?”

         Nell laughed. “Nah, that’s more of the backstory that sets up the main plot. The main character is a paranormal investigator who heard the stories of the ghostly music, so he breaks into the museum at night. Next thing he knows he’s seeing ghosts everywhere, and the guitar quite literally seems to have a mind of its own and won’t leave him be.”

         Miguel snickered. This was going to be fun.

         “For real, though. You’re okay with me writing this? If you’re not comfortable with it, you’ve got to tell me. There’s no time-limit so I have all the time in the world to think up something else.”

         He shook his head. “No, I like it. It’s different. And I like the guitar being the narrator. That’s kinda cool.”

         Nell sighed with relief. “Okay. Okay. Cool. But like, if you ever change your mind, let me know.”

         “I will,” Miguel promised.

         They walked for a while longer, taking in the quiet, their path taking them past the painted gate of the Rivera house. Dante trotted companionably at their side. They’d discovered when they met up that night that the little xolo could indeed see them when they were projecting, and after spending several minutes jumping all over them, he designated himself their official companion for the evening.

         “So what did you and abuelita talk about when you were touring the shop?”

         “Ah, not much. Got a little more on the history of the business. Some of the process. Your abuelita is really determined to get me into a decent pair of shoes.” Nell chuckled.

         Miguel snickered. “Fifty pesos says you’re in a pair if Rivera shoes by Christmas.”

         “You’re on. And I’ll put my winnings towards buying my pretty new Rivera shoes after New Years.”          

         “Hey!” He laughed. “That’s cheating.”

         “You set the rules, not me.” She reminded him. For a moment she was silent, then she spoke again. “Your abuelita is really proud of you, you know. Your whole family is. You can see it in their faces when they hear you play. I’m glad I got to meet them tonight.”

         “They really like you,” Miguel told her. “And Tia Gloria really wants your cookie recipe. Benny and Manny would have eaten all of them if they could have.”

         Nell laughed. “I’m glad I passed inspection. They were definitely a little concerned about me at first, not that I blame them.”

         “What? Why?”

         “Because it’s one thing for their fourteen year old to have adult friends among the local musicians, but it’s a little different when he’s suddenly friends with a random tourist eleven years his senior.”

         She had a point. And it wasn’t like either of them could explain the particular circumstances behind them becoming friends to begin with, not without earning themselves a happy little trip to the hospital in the city for a psych evaluation.

         What Nell didn’t tell him was how worried his family had been for him over the past few months. They’d known he wasn’t sleeping well, but as he refused to tell them what was going on there was nothing they could do. He’d been doing so much better since summer ended. He no longer came to the breakfast table with tired eyes, dragging his feet -- or at least, no more than any other young teenager. A question had been left unspoken of whether he had told Nell about what had been bothering him, to which she’d had to claim complete ignorance.  

         “Side note: I don’t know how the hell you survived that music ban,” Nell confessed, shaking her head. “I’d have completely lost my mind.” Music had always in some way been on the periphery of her life. She couldn’t imagine being cut off from it.

         “I felt like I was some days,” he laughed. “And I was raised into it. Mama had to give it up when she married Papa and I don’t know how she did it.”

         “People will do a lot for love. If it meant being with your Dad, it was probably a sacrifice she was willing to make.”

         Miguel nodded. He’d almost made the same one before Hector and Mama Imelda had sent him back. To be able to return home and have a chance to save Hector, he’d have given up music without a moment’s regret. “Could you do it?”

         “Give up music for someone?” Nell asked. “Don’t know. There’s never been someone that mattered enough that I would consider it. If it was the right person, I think I could. But then if it was the right person, I wouldn’t have to.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And there ends chapter 5! We met the Riveras, Nell finally got her plot sorted out, and we got to see Dante!

Next chapter will be the start of Dia de los Muertos, so buckle up buttercups because it's going to be a wild ride.

[trans-hunter-truther]

Ask me: all

JESUS answers under the cut hopefully bc holy shit [[READ MORE]]1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?I'll do cell phone since I'm on it right now: lock screen is a duck and her ducklings, home is sylveon2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?Nope3) What was your last text message?Tbh something personal to my friends expense so not gonna copy and paste 4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?I'd like to be helping my communities. I have several dreams... Photoshoots for trans kids, bringing ASL further into the spotlight and performing musicals in asl, making clothing lines for plus size and trans people5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?Cuddling in bed in some gay ass nerds arms 6) What was your coolest Halloween costume?Lmao I never really had 'cool' halloween costumes but the funniest definitely was this year where my friends and I all went as different aesthetics/ tropes- "emo" "hipster" "jock" stuff like that and then "space gay" "plant gay" and I was manic pixie dream girl 7) What was your favorite 90s show?"Friends" or "Freaks and Geeks" 8) Who was your last kiss?Ex and he forced me lmao so it was uncomfortable and my friend had to intervene9) Have you ever been stood up?I've been on like two dates in my life so no10) Favorite ice cream flavor?Chocolate with brownie chunks and fudge- so basically chocolate on chocolate on chocolate 11) Have you been to Las Vegas?Nop12) Your favorite pair of shoes?My Converse I hand painted a galaxy on 13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?Nope. One time someone grabbed me by the hair at the back of my head and kissed me and I shoved them off but I've never been an instigator 14) What is your favorite fruit?Pear or apple, I'm boring :v 15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible?I already did that twice so... yes16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships?Nope I'm Demisexual so hookups aren't a thing for me. Long term typically, but if I know it's really not working out I'm not afraid to end things. 17) Do you smoke? If so, what?Nop18) What do you do to get over your anger?Bike, mediative breathing, kick boxing 19) Do you believe in God?Eh? I believe in several deities and powers and ideals 20) Does the person you're in love with know it?I mean I'd hope so I've said it a million times 21) Favorite position?Cowgirl 22) What's your horoscope sign?ITS THE AGE OF AQUARIUS, THE AGE OF AQUARIUSSSSSSS- AQUIRIUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSS...... AQUIRIUSSsSsSsS 23) Your fears?Being manipulated, being raped, someone breaking into my house, being followed, running into past people who have hurt me 24) How many pets do you have? What kind?Right now I just have Luna my cat who doesn't meow but just yells really loudly 25) What never fails to turn you on?Grabbing or biting 26) Your idea of a perfect first date?Seeing a movie, walking on the boardwalk and going to a fun restaurant (good food, not stuffy and fancy) and walking on the beach feeling the water and sand on our feet 27) What is something most people don't know about you?That I suffer/ed from an eating disorder and I'm mostly recovering 28) What makes you feel the happiest?Laughing with my friends 29) What store do you shop at most often?Does Amazon count or...? 30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving?I think it's a way of showing you care about your partner and their pleasure so I'm for it; I like both 31) Do you believe in karma?I think that people should strive to do what they believe is right without harming others, but I don't think the universe goes around righting wrongs considering so many who do wrong never face punishment32) Are you single?Not really? I'm not officially in a relationship but I'm also not looking33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?I think that either one can serve as a good way to apologize in addition to an actual thought out apology; provided the flowers or candy are thought out 34) Are you a good swimmer?I've swam since I was like 6 months old so yes 35) Coffee or Tea?Depends, I love both though. Typically I only like homemade tea and cafe made coffee 36) Online shopping or shopping in person?Online shopping I hate irl shopping 37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age?If I had to choose, older 38) Cats or Dogs?Both? I guess cats if I had to choose because I like cuddling 39) Are you a competitive person?Yeah but I try not to be by avoiding competition40) Do you believe in aliens?Definitely 41) Do you like dancing?Fuck yes I'm always dancing 42) What kind of music to you listen to?Honestly I listen to a really wide spread I like a little bit of everything, only thing I can't always get into is screamo and similar genres 43) What is your favorite cartoon character?Marinette maybe? I have many 44) Where are you from?Florida 45) Eat at home or eat out?Depends what I have st home lmao 46) How much more social are you when you're drunk?Don't know don't drink 47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself?Rainbow boxers yesterday st pride! 48) Why do you think your followers follow you?Memes 49) How many hours do you sleep at night?Typically 6 50) What worries you most about the future?Succeeding in my field 51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?I would drop them so fast fuck 52) Are you happy with yourself?I think mostly I am 53) What do you wish you didn't know?Knowledge is power so I don't regret that, I only wish certain things hadn't happened perhaps 54) What big lesson could people learn from your life?Recognize when you're being manipulated and stay true to yourself 55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?Maybe the Gilmore house from Gilmore girls? It's such s beautiful house and I love the aesthetic of the town 56) What's your favorite Website?Shopmissa if not a social media website 57) What's the habit you're proudest of breaking?Cutting58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles?I think Gainesville s few months ago for my sisters graduation 59) What's the best bargain you've ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?2.50 blazers at good will 60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food?Dumpling soup, egg rolls, crab Rangoon 61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?I already am sort of, kali and cali(fornia) if not I guess Dakota? It's a pretty name 62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be?History, psychology, sexed, or any kind of art lmao? 63) Favorite kind of chips?Sour cream and onion or plain salted kettle cooked chips 64) Favorite kind of sandwich?Turkey, muenster, honey mustard etc 65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?Dictionary 66) Have you ever been stung by a bee?Nope I've never been hurt by any animal67) What's your favorite form of exercise?Dance or swimming 68) Are you afraid of heights?Maybe a little but not really 69) What's the most memorable class you've ever taken?Informal geometry it was a fuckin messssssss 70) What's your favorite breakfast?Waffle, eggs, toast, hash browns, coffee, bacon. Aka what I get every time o go to Waffle House 71) Do you like guacamole?Fuck yeah72) Have you ever been in a physical fight?Not really no, I've been hit though 73) What/who are you thinking about right now?Not gonna lie I'm just thinking about how periods suck but I'm so glad I'm not pregnant 74) Do you like cuddling?Most of the time yeah but I have to be very comfortable with that person 75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?Probably I have a lot of trauma 76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears?Almost all of them77) Favorite city you've been to?Gainesville, it's so beautiful 78) Would you break the law to save a family member?Depends on the law and depends on the family member- maybe for my older siblings 79) Talk about an embarrassing moment?Oh god I had one yesterday. So I was with friends and I was taking a bunch of pictures and my friend next to me and I starting goofing around and I took a bunch of silly pictures of them and after they grabbed my phone and deleted them and then went to my deleted photos and I was screaming for them to give back my phone and like I'm 99% sure they saw my personal photos I had in there sooo I wanted to die 80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in?LGBT rights, Deaf rights, Autistic and Aspergers people's rights, Black lives matter 81) What's the worst injury you've ever had?I had to get a really shitty surgery in an emergency hospital for an abscess on my labia minora and I was screaming in agony with no anesthesia as doctors flooded in and out. It was really traumatic and painful 82) Favorite day of the week?Saturday. I get to sleep in, be productive in the morning, hang out with friends, have time for myself, and it's very stress free 83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded?Very, even though I'm Demi once I am comfortable with someone I'm open to try anything almost and I have a lot of kinks 84) How do you feel about porn?I think that while the industry is fucked up and corrupt I support sex workers and sex work in general as a form of entrepreneurship 85) Which living celebrity would you like to know?Maybe Emma stone? 86) Who was your hottest ex?I haven't dated a lot of people really but someone who isn't quite an ex? 87) Do you want/have kids?Not sure. I've gone back and forth but I know I want to experience my life first before I do anything. 88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you?Yes89) Do you get easily distracted?YES90) Ass or titties?titties all the way 91) What is your favorite word?Prejudice 92) How do you feel about tattoos?I think they're a beautiful art form 93) Do you have any pets?Yes 94) How tall are you?5'2 and a half 95) How old are you?17 96) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot?Eyes, boobs, ass 97) Is there anything you're really passionate about?Activism and cosmetology 98) Do you have trust issues?Yeahhhh a little bit not gonna lie99) Do you believe in love at first sight?No not really? I think that you can have attraction but you have to get to know someone to love them 100) What are some words that you live by? Why?Everything happens for a reason. Because while shitty things happen in our lives we can learn from them to make the world a better place. I've had a lot of shitty things happen to me and they have only driven me further in life to help others.