#also i love how closeby we are i feel like im THERE

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

oh my fUCKING god we fucking knew it didnt we HARD swing the other way hey i just met you and this is crazy heres my entire life story come fly away in my phone box with me

[stabletwooriginals]

CHAPTER FOUR: Perspective

LittlePip had the bright idea of looting a building she is way too underleveled for. That's not really a Gamer Joke, as FoE really does seem to take a lot of rules and mechanics from the Fallout games. But it's also funny.

Her opponents are the classic brain-bots we know from the games, made more horrifying with the simple detail of sounding like children. "Come on out. We only want to kill you for trespassing!" also reminds me of the turrets in Portal.

This is also where we get our first reference of the zebras as the enemy, via the intercom playing an ancient, automated message. Oh, and the first mention of the Minstry of Technology too!

The Mr. Handy equivalent of a plasma weapon is said to look like a unicorn's horn. That's cool.

While trying to escape on collapsing catwalks we get the first instance of self-levitation! That's a creative use of the canonical ability unicorns in the show possess. I'm not even sure if a unicorn levitaed *another* pony in season 1. But I think they never levitated themselves? This also gave me flashbacks (or rather flashforwards) to all the cool stuff LittlePip can do later with her levitation, I'm excited to get there.

 Oh fuck me with Celestia's forehooves!

The first instance of a PipSwear! Now, I love them. They are iconic. But heck, gosh, darn it if they don't sound awkward when said out loud. Which kinda makes them not work as swears, in my opinion. But for me, they are dumb fun and sometimes that's enough. Her remark that she picked these exploitives up from the raiders is a nice touch. That she keeps them up and builds on them is all her, though.

IRONSHOD FIREARMS How do you like *them* apples?   I didn't get it.

So, I am not a native English speaker. I know this saying, but I was curious where it comes from. *Apparently* that's not really known, but according to this article the phrase was used like this in 1895 already. However, it was also used to refer to anti-tank granades in World War I, for their apple-like appearence. Since granades also look like apples in FoE, I will take the risk and say that I think I do get Ironshod Firearms' slogan.

The anti zebra propaganda found in the factory overmare office is both creative and glossed over. The slogan ("Better Wiped than Striped! Join the Equestrian Forces Today!") is heavily reminicient of the German rhymes of similiar racist nature from the world wars. And the depiction of the zebras as some dark creatures with evil glowing eyes is over the top, but only a reread might reveal this as the neon sign it is, as the zebras have not yet been introduced as the enemy force properly.

In the overmares office Littlepip finds a ton of useful items, from spark batteries , a StealthBuck and gum (which could be the first instance of MintAls, altough not called such, as LittlePip doesn’t know them yet (and if they aren’t, she finds some later in this chapter in an abandoned camp under a bridge), to the one, the only: little macintosh. This revolver will become LittlePips iconic weapon that she keeps until the very end of the story. Presumably made for or at least by Applejack, so this also gives Littlepip a neat little tie to one of the original shows main characters.

Hacking the terminal LittlePip discovers that she could have opened the safe she picked with a bobby pin remotely from there. Intentionally or not, this is a dig at Fallout 3′s design philosophy of giving you several ways to open locks, making only learning one of them enough, while skilled characters are left feeling a bit overqualified.

Leaving Ironshod Firearms, LittlePip admits to having given up on finding Velvet for now and being set on just exploring the world instead. Again, very Fallout 3 in my book.

Past a playground that became a graveyard for little ponies (dark!), she finds a “Sparkle~Cola” vending machine. This becomes LittlePips favorite drink and when I first read it, I was super happy about that for some reason. The book keeps mentioning how she sipps on carroty cola sometimes and every time I remember thinking it was a fun detail. I have no idea why.

Resting on a bench closeby we get a description of this poster:

(Art by Droakir - DeviantArt)

First mention of the Ministry of Morale, first instance of Pinkie Pie and a really fun description of how her graying mane makes it look like a candy cane. Like the poster on the zebras, this is also great, classic propaganda writing. Obviously it is a reference to the episode Green Isn’t Your Color, but while I feel that it is referencing some real life propaganda, I do not know a specific one.

Watcher suddenly is back, helpfully explaining that the MoM is “another well-meaning idea that was so much better on scroll.” What a fitting description of pre-war politics in FoE.

Getting jumped makes LittlePip call back to the slaver, that complained about sprite-bots sneaking up on ponies. If I recall correctly this will be one of the biggest sources of fun in FoE: Callbacks like this, that help paint the world in your mind by connecting the dots for you. Im certain some find this aspect annoying, as they rather enjoy doing that work themselves, but as a casual reader (of a very long story) I always welcomed it. I will also stop pointing them out from here on, unless they strike me remarkable in other ways.

A quick reminder of the raider armor she is wearing and some foreshadowing how it makes her look like “a nightmare pony”, before Watcher offers that she needs to find her virtue. This will be as important as in the original show, but also almost take LittlePip until the end of the story to really figure it out. Right now, she doesn’t quite believe him and his connection to the sprite-bot drops. Now we get a different voice from the radio the sprite-bots play, when Watcher is not in control of them. Similiar to President Eden of the Enclave in Fallout 3. This however, is Red-Eye, altough not named yet, giving a motivational speech about the posibility of rebuilding Equestria. Naturally, this confuses LittlePip even further, having seen no trace of any leaders or reconstruction efforts.

Well, technically she has seen slavers, so, unbeknownst to her, she actually has seen a part of Red-Eyes plan.

But it gives her the idea to look for settlements and actually finds one in the distance. A undamaged looking caravan is moving away from it, all in all a great disovery.

While a fun and memorable scene in itself, what follows is meant to reflect a corner stone of LittlePips character. As she approaches the settlement she gets mistaken for a raider by her barding and shot at. Remembering the caravan she collects her strength and stands up to her agressor, threatening to kill them if they attack the others. This reveals the misunderstanding -- her attacker thought she was endangering the caravan -- and LittlePip exits the chapter loosing consiousness from her insuries.

Footnote: Level Up. New Perk: Egghead -- You will add +2 skill points each time you gain a new experience level.

What a chapter! While it might feel like not much happened, so many pivital and iconic elements were introduced here. Even if a lot weren’t named yet. Like Calamity! It does feel weird that LittlePip just admits on giving up on Velvet like that, though. On my first read I didn’t mind, because I just enjoyed how similiar the experience felt to playing Fallout 3, which I liked more than any other entry at the time. Now it seems odd, but there are a lot of other things to focus on and enjoy in this and the coming chapters.

[joongzone-blog]

ateez reaction to you playing a viagra prank on them (m)

anon: omg love your writing. can i please request an ateez reaction to you playing a viagra prank on them and if you could please make it a little long. i just think that’ll be hilarious.

HONGJOONG:

he’d be in the hotel room next door to yours, sharing a room with yunho when he starts to feel it getting hard

he doesn’t know why it’s getting hard, he wasn’t thinking of anything besides wanting to go to sleep but it jolts him awake

luckily yunho left the room to go join san and wooyoung

u, on the other hand, are wondering if it had set in yet so u look it up and when u realise it should kick in by now

u facetime him just to mock him

he immediately picks up

u put on a smirk and ur suddenly more annoying than usual according to hongjoong

“hi joong. how’s it going?”

he tried to hide it but u know whats going on...he just...doesn’t know it was u

“nothing much” he says “just y’know...making beats on my laptop...haha!”

“oh? that must be hard to do huh?”

“not really, it comes naturally to me now. why are u still awake?”

“it’s just...so...hard...to fall asleep and it’s so frustrating...my temper just...keeps growing...because of it...”

“stop that...why are u talking like that u weirdo” 

ur laugh suddenly can’t be contained and u just burst out in cackles, throwing the phone on the bed 

“ya! why are u laughing at me!”

once u managed to get urself together u grabbed ur phone and told him the prank u pulled on him while u and the members went out to eat earlier

his face fumes!!!

“ya! was this u?” he angrily scoffs “why would u pick me as ur victim?!”

“ur easily deceived joong. plus i saw it at the pharmacy counter yesterday and thought it’d be funny”

“im gonna beat ur ass when i see u tomorrow”

“come to my room we’ll figure out what to do with it”

“it would get flaccid seeing u, no thanks”

and u start bickering back and forth for a good three mins before joong groans into his pillow

“ya! i hate u so much!!!”

SEONGHWA

omg this baby would be so shy about it

u gave it to him it in replace of headache relief pill...but he doesn’t know that bc seonghwa doesn’t check

he’ll be on a vlive with yeosang later on when it starts getting hard

ur watching their vlive from the other room and ur just waiting...for something to happen...

when it gets hard all of a sudden his face contorts

“omo...”

and he’d look down but then immediately look up bcos he’s realising on live broadcasting

yeosang b like “what? what’s wrong?”

and seonghwa would be so speechless he’d look back and forth from yeosang to the camera 

nobody can see it bc of the filter but he is blushing like crazy

“hyung, stop fooling around, what’s wrong?”

and u watch as seonghwa whispers something into his ear, u in ur room quietly laughing to urself but also thinking of how to apologise to seonghwa bc u know he doesn’t handle pranks like these well

yeosang then does the same as seonghwa and looks back and forth from him and the camera

yeosang be like “ok everyone we have to go! it’s getting late goodnight!”

but the time is only 8pm and u just laugh as u turn ur phone off

from ur room u can hear them panicking about what to do, and seonghwa yelling and yeosang yelling back

YUNHO

big baby would also be so shy!!!

this prank would be urs and wooyoung’s idea

u would be accompanying him and the members on the set of an mv filming

u would be watching yunho and wooyoung being goofy behind the scenes in front of the cameras

and then yunho’s face suddenly changes...like in the gif...god

and wooyoung is smirking and being touchy feely with him bc he knows whats up

“yunho, is everything ok? ur not feeling sick are u?” he teases

“get y/n...i need her...like now...wooyoung please...”

wooyoung laughs at him as he goes over to u and tell u that ur boyfriend wants u

“baby what’s wrong?” u say, acting like u dont know whats wrong

he looks around, his face blushing bright red, to make sure nobody is looking at him

“i...”

“yunho...tell me what’s wrong”

“babe i-i have a...b-boner...”

u cant help but laugh and he quickly covers up ur mouth while backing u up into somewhere secluded

“shhh!!! please!!!”

“how’d u manage that huh? what were u thinking of huh?”

“literally nothing! idk why i just got it...god it hurts...what do i do?”

u put ur hand between his thighs knowing u two are alone and u squeeze one of his thighs lightly

“we could help it a bit? there’s an unused room down the hall-”

but before u can even finish it yunho grabs ur arm and dashes through the hall with u

“please, i just want it gone, i cant be having a boner on an mv, i’d get clowned by atiny”

YEOSANG

i think he’d either be the most calm about it or be the complete opposite and freak out 

but let’s stick to the most calm since that’s more his personality

u would pull the same prank on him like u did with seonghwa, making him think it was a headache relief pill

he’ll be in the middle of dancing with the members when all of a sudden...

he’d be like: and i...OOP!

he’d try to get through a few minutes dancing with it bc he thinks he’s gotten a random hard-on and thinks if he focuses on something else then it will go away

but not with viagra

when he realises its not going down he’d excuse himself to the toilets 

he’ll sit in a cubicle and wait for someone in there to leave before taking off the lower half clothes and touching himself

he wants it to go away because he has no time to be embarrassed

he just wants it to go away and he’s panicking because he’s been touching himself for god knows how long and he cant feel himself getting close

so he texts you as a last resort

yeosang: babe

you: yes?

yeosang: i really need a big favor from you

you: hm...depends what it is...

yeosang: baby can you touch yourself and let me hear you?

you: oh? you’re horny?

yeosang: i wasn’t but i just got this hard-on and i went to touch myself but nothing...

yeosang: i know it’s late but i panicked, im sorry...oh god, you really don’t need to, it’s okay don’t worry

YOU are calling...

SAN

cute baby boy would so laugh the fact that you and yunho had plotted to pull this prank off so san wouldn’t sleep tonight

he’d just laugh at himself as he watches it get harder and harder in the shower

“oh my god! what is this!”

cackles and cackles, his cute laughs everywhere

yunho is sitting in their shared room on his phone and all he can hear is san yelling and cackling at himself in the shower

he knows what’s up

“yunho! i got a boner!”

yunho laughs so hard at how easy it is for san to just tell him these things

“pretty sure a little birdie and i slipped something in your americano this morning to get back at u for the shampoo prank but that’s none of my business!”

san laughs so hard he nearly slips but thankfully he’s okay

he’s just . looking down at himself . laughing

he isn;t surprised that yunho pulled this off but you? his own girlfriend? would betray him like this?

he peeks out from the shower curtain and grabs his phone thats sitting closeby and he starts to call you

when u pick up u are welcomed to the sound of san’s high pitched screaming

“ya! i can’t believe how much of a snake you are! do you know what you did to me? cause im staring at it right now and it hurts! it’s funny but what if this never comes down in the morning! how am i supposed to sleep on my stomach when this...thing...wants to sleep with me! ya! you’re dead tomorrow!”

san doesn’t talk about anything else for the rest of the night except for ways to get rid of his hard-on while yunho is fast asleep

MINGI

omg another big baby that would both be shy and be dramatic about it

u pranked him earlier and now u and mingi are baking something together for yeosang’s birthday that’s coming soon

he’s whirring mixture when it starts to get hard and he immediately shuts the machine off

he takes a big deep breath because he’s not sure just how on earth he has managed to get a boner in the middle of baking

he tries to push it down but that!!! hurts!!!

he shrieks and u ask him whats wrong

he ushers you away, telling u nothing is wrong

but u have a faint idea that maybe it’s the little viagra pill u slipped into his drink earlier

mingi can’t take it no more bc it gets harder and harder the more he tries to ignore it

he’s quiet, silently inching behind you before you feel it pressing against your back

hm, you think

“babe. i’m not sure what’s going on but it’s stressing me out.”

“but we’re baking”

“i know but if i keep going the others are bound to see it and i, for sure, know they’re going to clown me”

“the cupcakes are gonna burn baby, you’ll just have to wait”

but he’s a big baby and he just whines over and over, whimpering as it gets even harder and warms his stomach

it makes you laugh so hard but you enjoy toying with mingi 

you love seeing him be so helpless and under your control

“baby can’t we just pause the oven and resume it when we’re done?”

WOOYOUNG

i see him having the same reaction as san but more exaggerated except because of the situation, he’s more collected about it:

u thought it was funny to drop one in his coke while u were eating out with the members

on the drive home the members are all fast asleep in the van except for you and wooyoung

you because you were reading a really cool book and wooyoung...well because he’s been trying to hide his hard-on since it started getting hard

you’ve been noticing how often he’s been changing positions with his legs and it started to irk you a little now because you just want him to tell you that he’s hard without getting shy

“babe, if you’re going to keep hiding your hard-on from me you might aswell just sit with the driver so i can’t see”

“how...how did you know?”

you laugh to yourself putting your hand between his thighs and rubbing it 

wooyoung is hot and absolutely not collected but he stays quiet because he’s with his members and they’re all asleep

you unbutton his jeans and wooyoung gets even more hotter bc ur hand presses against his throbbing hard-on

you rub it, just to see his reaction and the way he closes his eyes pleases you

but then he opens them quickly, realising where he is

you laugh at him and punch him jokingly, “relax, i’m not going to jack you off while the others are here”

and wooyoung groans but he knows ur right and besides, it’s much more fun when u two are alone

JONGHO

omg what a sweet boy!

[sarcastic-anxious]

ALL THE ASKS

1. have you ever been in love?

not that i know, i thought that i had a crush once but then it turned out i just wanted to be good friends lol ( my family is very touchy and i just sometimes jus want to hug my friends)

2. what are your favourite colours and why?

Blood red! Slytherin green and silver!

Blood red because its the colour of passion and ofc blood

Slytherin green because it gives off a mysterious and magical vibe

Silver because it is a regal colour and makes everything look younger and magical

3. who was the last person you held hands with?

honestly, i don't know anymore

4. what is your zodiac sign?

aries!

5. how many times have you read your favourite book?

3 or 4 times i guess?

6. what are your favourite films?

pixels! it cheers me up

The Three Musketeers (1993) its something thats always fun to watch

7. what kind of weather do you like?

For me the perfect weather is when a thunderstorm is raging on on a hot summer day, I will just sit in my window with the window open and just relax to the sound of thunder and the beautiful lightning while getting cooled down by the rain

8. do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

I prefer sunrises because they mark the beginning of a new day

9. what kind of weather represents who you are as a person?

the kind of weather when a thunderstorm is closeby and you don't know if its gonna come closer or its gonna clear up

10. what’s your favourite animal?

My favourite animal has shifted between a lot of animals but now it’s a snake!

11. what is your favourite song right now?

the other side of paradise by glass animals

or sex metal barbie by in this moment

12. what is your favourite song of all time?

city by Hollywood undead

or bullet i cant choose

13. do you like sunny days or rainy days better?

rainy days for the win

14. have you ever been heartbroken?

yeh,,,,,,

15. what does the perfect kiss feel like?

idk never kissed and dont want to eiter

16. what is your favourite poem?

“I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.”

Life Is An Illusion

© Trisha

Published: July 2015

Surrounded by people yet all alone

Trapped within this solitary zone

A world where chaos and hate overtake

Every bit of happiness that may try to escape

Laughter and smiles never seem to last

Because I am haunted by memories of my past

Running the distance with nowhere to go

These are the days of my life, a Broadway show

Screaming for help, does anyone hear

The demons of death are coming so near

Echoes in my head tormenting me all day long

Breaking the woman who was once very strong

What does serenity mean anyway

Is it the swag in my step or just the words I say

Deep rooted evil no time for a soul mate

Wondering why joy is always a day late

Suicide is the easy answer many times I've tried

Happiness seems to be the tears I have cried

Unable to distinguish what's real from what's fiction

Hope is an illusion, an optimist's prediction

What will it take to get me right

A visit from the devil on a lonely night

Angels prepare to battle and take a stand

To remind me of their holy land

When I want to give up, they push for me to be strong

In my head I hear their harmonious song

A tranquil state I now find myself

Dealing with the hand in which I was dealt

Good vs evil, what does it really mean

Am I dirty when I appear to be clean

Life is an illusion a constant mind trick on me

Who knows what my fate will be

Heaven and hell are both fair game

Will I succumb to peace or fall down in shame

Surrounded by people yet all alone

Trapped within this solitary zone

Source:

https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/life-is-an-illusion

17. who are you most inspired by?

honestly just by the world

18. are you spiritual?

im in the church of satan

19. what is your favourite plant?

My favourite plant is a willow three, elegant , magical and haunted at the same time

20. what is your favourite feeling?

just fine ( id say my manic hours are the most fun but the depression that follows those isnt worth it)

21. what is your favourite word?

eikel (acorn, asshole, the tip of the penis 

22. are you an artist?

yes!

23. what is your favourite flower?

Gladioli

24. are you happy?

ehh im living i guess

25. what are you thinking about right now?

some remus angst that ill probably never write 

26. what emotion do you feel most often?

dull

27. what is your favourite season?

My favourite season is autumn/fall because the weather is finally cooling down and the threes are beautiful / also halloween

28. are you in a relationship?

nope

29. are you an introvert or extrovert?

introvert

30. do you prefer the moon or the stars?

MOON

31. what is your favourite scent?

i dont really have one , just my plushies they smell good 

32. where do you feel most at home?

my room honestly i have lived in som many houses just give me a room with some of my stuff in it and il feel more at home than just sitting in my livingroom with my dad

33. what scares you the most?

honestly myself and life

34. do you believe in soulmates?

nah not really

35. what is your favourite thing about yourself?

my ability to see from a different angle that other people mostly overlook

36. what is the nicest compliment you’ve received?

you’ve grown

37. who is your favourite music artist?

misso

38. what was your first kiss like?

forced wrong and aweful

39. are you a sensitive person?

yeh sometimes

40. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday

41. do you believe that love can last forever?

yeh, but who knows if you found the right one to love?

42. what do you think happens to us when we die?

you disappear but stay behind in the hearts of people that you love

43. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

nope, my dad maybe. but cmon ya dont ask ya kid that youve put trough hell to be your newest childs meter

44. what do you think about when you can’t fall asleep at night?

stuff you don't want to have in your head

45. do you believe in aliens?

well know after area 51

46. what is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

helping me in my darkest days

47. do you find it hard to trust?

very hard lol

48. are you secretive?

oh hunny you don know

49. what colour are your eyes?

blue

50. do you have a nickname?

lucy, jack frost, little bat ( i really liked that one) ghost and a few more that i don't remember

[minutesansmoi-blog]

Eliott tells Lucas about past mistakes

Eliott POV

Lucas wasn’t sleeping next to him which was unusual. For the last few weeks since they had the talk, they spent almost every night together; he relished every second he had together with Lucas now that everything was out in the open and Lucas had told him that he wouldn’t leave him, they were finally together, nothing standing between them.

Or at least Eliott had hoped so. A few hours before Lucas told him something that completely threw him off. He told him that a few weeks back, after he had found him in the darkness of the tunnel and took him home, he met with Lucille. At first he didn’t want to say anything because he didn’t know how he would react but after a while it felt weird not to say anything, “No secrets between us”, Lucas had said. “Why would you do that, what did she tell you?”, Eliott was starting to get angry and it showed. “I- I didn’t want to do anything wrong, I just wanted to make sure I can give you what you need, we only talked about her experience, I mean she-, she was very kind, told me that I was different and I needn’t worry, I’m sorry I didn’t know what to do” Lucas had said, clearly caught off guard by Eliotts anger.

But Eliott wasn’t angry with Lucas, he was angry with Lucille and scared what she might have told him. He vividly remembered her just blurting out that he didnt pass his bac and how she had talked about Lucas to his parents while he was lying in bed after the night on the boat, pretending to sleep. “He’s found himself a distraction again, you know...” if Eliott had had the energy to tell her off he would have, but that wasn’t possible in that moment. He was scared that Lucas might think of him in a certain way because of Lucilles words, so he got angry but he couldn’t tell Lucas, he didn’t want to tell Lucas everything about how he was in his relationship with Lucille, he had made many mistakes. So he ran, took his things and got out of the coloc leaving behind a very confused and teary eyed Lucas.

Eliott felt so bad afterwards he didn’t know what to do. The moment the door closed after him he wanted to turn back and take Lucas into his arms but then he would have had to explain, he wasn’t ready. But now, lying in bed looking at the texts form Lucas, Eliott felt even worse.

L: Im sorry Eliott, please can we talk?

L: im here whenever youre ready... just please tell me you’re ok

E: ok, back at home

L: <3

Lucas had texted him immediately after he left, but didn’t push Eliott to talk, how did he deserve this boy, Eliott thought to himself, I’m getting angry at him for no reason and he says sorry - Lucas was too good for him.

He had to tell him, there was no way he could pretend this topic never came up.

There was no chance he could sleep like this, he had to do something so he called Lucas. It rang three times and he thought he probably won’t pick up its 1 AM anyway but in that moment he heard a sleepy voice, “Hello?” - Eliotts heart skipped a beat imagining Lucas sleeping with his phone closeby, waiting for a sign from him. “I’m sorry Lucas, I didn’t mean to go off on you. Can I get you breakfast tomorrow and we’ll talk?”, “hm? oh yeah whatever you want Eliott”, “ok see you tomorrow then.... i love you”, “love you too”.

The next morning Eliott went to the bakery and got those croissants he knew Lucas loved and made his way to the coloc. He didn’t knock immediately, he just stood there for a minute nervous as fuck. After Eliott finally found the courage to knock, the door opened almost instantly; a slightly out of breath Lucas standing in front of him as if he had just jumped out of his bed to run to the door. And by the looks of his hair he probably had done just that. It was fucking adorable. Eliott couldn’t help but pull Lucas into his arms, hold him tight and the smaller one didn’t mind at all.

“Hi”, Lucas said while nuzzling into Eliotts arms. “Come in, let’s eat”. They made their way to the kitchen, apparently no one else was home. “Well, the others conveniently all went out to have some breakfast together” Lucas said after noticing Eliott looking around. “Ah right, I see”, he said with a smile. “Again, because of the thing with Lucille I’m s-”, “No Lucas, please let me.” the smaller one nodded.

“I have to tell you something. I don’t know what Lucille told you about our relationship but whatever you know or you don’t, I want you to know my side of the story. Yesterday, I didn’t get angry because you talked to her, I appreciate what you did, I really do. I just go scared, I have made mistakes while I was together with Lucille, some I couldn’t help, some I made because I didn’t care enough. I cheated on her, a few times even but I always went back to her. I don’t want to excuse my behaviour but you know I was never really in love with Lucille but she was my anchor when things got bad, she knows me so well and I didn’t want to lose that, so I told her I didn’t mean to cheat on her, it meant nothing to me, sometimes I told her I did it because I wasn’t myself at the time, I lied because I felt trapped but also couldn’t bear the though of being alone” Eliott stopped to take a few breaths, he took Lucas face into both his hands, making sure he was looking him into the eyes.

“But this -, us, it’s different. I would never do anything to hurt you Lucas and I want you to know that. This is real, you choosing me despite everything, it means the world to me I would never want to do anything to break us up. I love you and I hope you don’t think less of me now.”

Eliott held his breath, searching for a reaction on Lucas face but for a few moments he was just looking at him with his big blue eyes, not giving away a hint of what he was thinking.

But then he smiled.

Lucas pulled Eliott into an embrace and the taller one finally let out his breath, not sure if he should say anything else. “You know..... you could have just told me that yesterday” Lucas said, loosening the embrace just enough to look up to Eliott, grinning shyly. “I’m sorry I was a bit overwhelmed...”, “I understand but I want you to know that it doesn’t matter what you did before Eliott, we’ve all made mistakes. We all deserve second chances. Just know that you can tell me anything, we’re in this together. Maybe someday you’ll tell Lucille how you feel, tell her you’re sorry, she deserves to hear it.” “I know....”

Eliott could only look at his boyfriend in awe of lucky he was to have found him. He pulled Lucas into a kiss, softly at first, caressing his face gently, his lips eager to express what he felt for that boy in a way his words could never. But as soon as he felt Lucas’ hands in his hair, pulling lightly he turned them around pressing the smaller one against the wall, deepening the kiss. He was so gone for that boy.