#also i was raised to be church mouse silent.. both sides of my family were like listen u lil bastard - children are to be seen not heard

[myrainydayloves]

Wedding Bells

(You Already Know What It Is)

Pardon me is everybody because if everybody’s here, I’d like to thank you all for coming

Annaka had never felt more fear than when she woke up May 8th. She was stirred by her alarm, moving her hand through the group of girls piled around each other. But the alarm stopped without her touch and she snuggled back into the warmth of the cuddle pile. 

“Nuh-Uh! Up you go! Shower and then breakfast!” Scolded her maid of honor trying to pull her from the snuggle group. 

“Five more minutes, Mom,” Annaka mumbled, trying to crawl back under Anita’s blanket. 

“Annaka!” 

“Maryyyyy,” she moaned, finally beginning to untangle herself from the other women. “I don’t wanna get married today. Tell Cross we can do it tomorrow,” she joked. 

Mary did not find this as amusing, having spent hundreds of hours with Annaka planning the event. Capri echoed this statement by verbally telling Annaka to shut the fuck up and get ready. 

By the time Annaka had exited the shower, Mary had roused the rest of the women in the sleepover and sent them to the various bathrooms to wash up. A truly outstanding show of abilities in her opinion. There was a light breakfast of sliced fruit and toast waiting them and coffee brewing. 

She dragged her hands over the table that had been her place of residence within the home for the last decade and felt it was foreign under her touch.  Even the kitchen where Annaka spent hours preparing meals, where she’d shared so many tender morning moments with him, was new to her. 

Maybe because it was going to be hers now. Theirs, technically. But going from stranger to guest to owner was as weird for the house as it was her. 

She ate toast, drank from a mug her son had made her back when he was only twelve, and looked through the grimy kitchen window that housed a plant Cross couldn’t keep alive. The window about the sink was his responsibility, Annaka was adamant about and so far if had only seen soap five times in the ten years she’d been here. 

“Lazy bastard,” Annaka whispered into the mug like it was the sweetest nickname. 

Yen clapped her on the shoulder. “Glad to see you’re still in love. I was worried you’d get cold feet.”

“Now is your last chance to back out,” Anita teased. “If you little boy Lavi was here he’d give you the total debt but I reckon it’s around-“

“Lavi’s not little anymore,” Annaka interrupted. “He’s in college for god’s sakes.”

“He’s still your little boy though, isn’t he?” Capri teased.

“They’re both still my little boys,” she whispered into the mug. “It’s just now my name’s going on the adoption papers too.”

So after breakfast, Mary was rushing them into the various cars to the chapel. Annaka rode with Mary to go over any last minute changes. As the sun started to rise over their home, Annaka was leaving it to return as a wife. 

The little boys in question met the bridal party outside the church. All dressed up uncomfortably in their suits, smiling like church boys who’d stolen extra communion wine. The venue itself was a church, grand and tall, one of the most beautiful in the entire city. It was covered in stained glass windows and arches that were once white turned yellow by age. And today it would serve its purpose as a house of love instead of the usual house of confession. 

“Babies,” Annaka whispered to them, climbing out of the car to kiss their cheeks. “I hope you don’t have any objections today.”

“Oh I have a whole list,” Lavi teased. “Starting with the time you didn’t get me a mouse shaped pretzel at Disneyland. Can’t let a woman like that marry Cross.”

Allen gave her a sweet smile, like all the ones he’d given her as a little boy and hugged her tightly. Whatever fear or anxiety she’d been holding poured out of her as she returned the hug, pulling him close. She leaned back, brushed the hair out of his eyes, and hugged him again. 

“So,” Allen started. “How am I gonna tell you that instead of peonies they sent tulips and they’re white not pink?”

“They did what?!” Mary cried. “I specifically asked for peonies! It took me two hours to find a shop with peonies in the spring!”

Yen rubbed Mary’s shoulder with a teasing smirk. “There there, let’s get you all dressed up.”

“I’m serious!” Mary cried, reaching for her phone as the women walked into the church. 

The dress still fit, so that was good, she thought. She twisted and turned in the mirror, struggling to see whatever Cross was marrying her for before giving up. The flowers were here, though they were white and not pink, but that was fine. It was fine. 

A soft knock at the door. 

“Are you ready? Because they’re ready for you,” an attendant whispered. 

“Uh yes,” she mumbled. 

As her shoes met threadbare carpet, she thought about running one last time. But her feet grew roots and planted themselves in front of the grand doors. 

The worst part of all this, she thought as they began to open was that Cross had been right. 

The church was the best idea for the venue. Light poured down from the windows, birds that lived in the bell tower chirped, and the acoustics were amazing. It was like stepping into a painting or perhaps becoming a part of it. 

Only when the doors finally opened fully and the organ started to play did she dare look into the church. Her heart jumped when she saw him there. Regal and fine and waiting patiently, he looked like he would stand there for hours waiting for her to arrive. 

And she couldn’t figure out why. 

Annaka suddenly felt like she was drowning again. Like the waves of fate had finally pulled her under. Then he turned, caught her eye, and looked stunned. There were no tears or smirk, just genuine disbelief this was really happening. 

And then he started to smile. 

There are no words to explain how it feels to see your life validated. To see your work and your past spread out for you like a quilt. To realize that it was time to tie everything in a tidy bow and give up trying to make it bigger. 

So she moved. Step by step she moved towards him, afraid that the longer she stayed on a different side of the ocean of fabric, she would lose him. And then she wasn’t walking down the alley. 

Annaka was running. 

Home was in sight and it welcomed her with a stupid smirk and open arms. In the second he touched her arm, she was safe again, reminded and comfortable under the blanket. 

“Wow, you look….” Cross laughed a bit. “Well I was going to tease you and say you looked a bit desperate running towards me like that but...you look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, knees shaking in a way they never did. 

“Relax. If anyone should be scared here, it’s me. Allen threatened to kill me if I got a single word wrong in my vows.”

“Oh shit, knew I was forgetting something” Annaka teased. 

As they settled into a comfortable standing position, the priest read out lines and palms. And then it was time. 

Cross looked up. “Did you wanna go first? I have something in my eyes.”

“Tears?”

“No, I think a storm of dust-of course it’s tears!” He snapped, looking down at her. She pressed a hand to his cheek and smiled. 

“Compose yourself, My Love. I’ll go first though I can’t promise you won’t be bawling by the end.”

“Show off.”

“Cross-“

“Oh god, wait just-“ He pulled her hand back to his cheek, letting her hand lovingly cup his cheek and nodded, tears silently flowing down his cheeks. 

“There are a lot of things I wanted to say here. Honestly I could have us here for hours. But I will keep it brief,” she took a breath. “For ten years, we raised two children together. And not once, in those ten years, did I ever feel anything but grateful to Mary for calling me. I never regretted pack up everything in my tiny apartment in Seattle to move here even though it was very scary. Because from the moment I met you: I was in love with you.”

She took a second to wipe away some of the tears beginning to flood his face. “Really. I was. You made my life comfortable, gave me what I always dreamed of: a home and a family and a loving husband. No matter what you may think, you’ve given me so so much. So to repay you, I vow to stay with you. To kiss you in the morning, to let you steal my coffee, to watch you work in the garage. I promise that I will always be in love with your genius, your charm, your charisma. I love you so deeply even your flaws shine brightly to me.”

“I love you. And I swear I always will.”

He leaned in towards her and she helped shield his vulnerability from prying eyes. After a minute of silent sobbing he stood up, dried his tears, then dried his glasses, and started. 

“I have sacrificed so much to get something. I have left some many broken paths and people behind me that if I tried to make amends I wouldn't know where to start. I am such a pain in the ass-“

“Not to me,” she teased. 

“Never to you. I’ve never had someone love me so unconditionally.” Allen couldn’t resist a small cough and Lavi quietly kicked him. With a roll of his eyes, Cross corrected himself. “I’ve never had a woman love me so-“

Anita leaned out to glare at him. 

“For the love of Christ, can I get through my vows?” He snapped. With renewed energy and speed, he said, “I guess I won’t have the chance to wax poetic until later, my love. But you are, without a doubt, one of the most talented people I’ve met. Not just in poetry but in everything. And you do it while looking….so beautiful. Even when you’re asleep at the table, hair falling from your bun, pen marks on your face, I am blown away by you. I love you.”

“So I vow to love you forever,” he finished. Then he leaned in to whisper in her ear, “I’ll give the full speech later when we’re not surrounded by idiots.”

“I heard that,” Allen whispered, also leaning in. 

Mary leaned in next and brandished her bouquet like a sword. “Shut. Up. If we run behind because no one we know understands how to be quiet for more than a minute, I’m going to get very angry.”

“Sorry, Ms. Mary.”

The priest did not chance asking for objections with this couple. Partly because they’d already proven themselves to be a small comedy trope and partly because despite the crying or glaring faces, he felt there was no one in the room that had anything real to say. He gave Cross a nod, who then nodded at Annaka, who giggled and nodded back.

“I, Crоss Marian, take you, Annaka, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.“

“I, Annaka, take you, Crоss Marian, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.”

With a smile he reserved only for weddings, the priest said, “You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide. Amen...sorry. You may now kiss the bride.”

The cheer that erupted from the pews was the loudest the church ever heard, with friends and family all swarming to hug the new united couple at the stand. There were a lot of ‘You did it’-s or ‘Damn, she actually went through with it?’-s and there were a lot of tears.

But despite the chaos and excitement, Cross stared at Annaka and she stared back, lost in each other’s eyes. There was an entire life outside that, to the pair, had always been so cruel, so unkind. But now, with two small bands of gold, the pair felt more than ready to face it.

Together.

[ol-razzle-dazazzle]

Rattus Rattus- Chapter 2: Rats With Wings

Here we are again! Thank you all to my fellow Fyogol shippers, it’s nice getting awesome comments, and I really appreciate it- even if I haven’t had much time to respond to things! I’ve been a bit stressed, but here’s the next chapter. 

The next one I’m going to be honest might take a while- as I have two exams in 3-4 days. It might take a week, it might take two. Probably just a week, since I’ve already written half of the other chapter- in which we will be introduced to Pushkin (and hopefully you’ll actually enjoy his character and not feel cheated)! After these initial chapters, things will start to pick up and become more interesting, so keep a watch out ;3c As for those wondering where Ivan will come into the story, he’ll come much later- after school and we will all suffer

Trigger warnings aren’t really needed for this chapter: just more catholic shenanigaggles, also Fyodor has misophonia (I personally hc him as autistic like myself)

Class went rather well, barring Fyodor accidentally picking up Myskin by the tail because he thought it was a pencil. There was a somewhat looming sense of dread, when the teacher glanced at him- and whether it was because he had heard about the rat fiasco or because he was a new student, the attention and requests to recite English was frustrating.

He hadn't even ended up going to his dormitory, let alone pack or unpack his stuff or look around the place (despite that being his own fault). Granted, Fyodor didn't bring too much- just a heap of books, school supplies, and food for Myskin that was disguised to his family as taking a strange craving for seeds and fruit. Irregardless, his family gave him some money that he could spoil through the weeks- and he hopes the nurse is nice and manipulable enough to get potential free lollies like he promised Nikolai.

The class bell rang again and Fyodor then decides to swear to memorise the timetable because he flinches every time the wretched alarm rings. He has no clue where the chapel is let alone how to get there, so he stands outside the classroom Nikolai entered. 

"Ah! Fedya!" Nikolai calls, waving. "Lovely of you to join me." He looks around, peering into Fyodor's bag. "And the magnificent Myskin." He pats the rat. 

As the two walk, Nikolai filled in as much information of the place as he knew. Curfew is at 9:30, but extends 15 minutes each year- older students also have privilege of leaving to explore the town more frequently, but for their current year, visits are once every three weeks. Saturdays are free days, with the addition of any services or clubs students wish to partake in- and Sundays have an 8AM chapel service, which continues for an hour, as well as one at 8PM.

"And dorms?" 

"I'm not sure…I think they're mixed with years, two to four to a room." Nikolai thinks, "Well, generally speaking- I won't be in mine very often."

"How come?"

"Well, thing is…" Nikolai scrunches his face. "I'm here on a 'scholarship' of sorts. So, I'd mainly reside in my own room because 'asceticism'."

"That sounds rather stupid." Fyodor replies.

"…It is." Nikolai shrugs. "But I need to maintain the church as well."

"But we're going there to do just that." Fyodor frowns. "I'm not sure how I am supposed to sleep surrounded by people."

Nikolai sighs, "Well, we have to manage anyway. I'm as disgruntled about this as you are."

"Stop dragging your feet, you two." The teacher folds her arms, "For now you'll be cleaning the balcony with the bell tower." She hands them a broom, spray, mop and dustpan. "As for the rat, you're lucky it must've scuttled into the forest- as it hasn't been sighted."

Fyodor heaves a sigh. 

"Also, while I do not have the time to oversee your detention, I will check the job is satisfactory in two hours." 

Fyodor glances to the side, hoping for an incredulous 'Two hours?!'- but found none. 

"Thank you." A smile instead.

However, the moment the doors closed and they clamoured up the stairs, a loud groan came from the other boy as he shut the door. "Two hours?! Seriously?"

A little late on schedule, but lovely nonetheless. 

"It'll take us an hour to clean the thing!" Nikolai sighs, leaning against the wall, staring around him. While the tower was somewhat shabby and didn't have much room- due to the enormous bell and sets of pulleys, it was a nice view outside.

"Just…please don't ring it." Fyodor winces, finally he is face to face with his arch-nemesis- the bell that had tormented him thrice. 

"Oh yeah- you don't like the noise." Nikolai peers over at the bell, "It's going to ring twice, automated- but there's a clock on the wall so I'll let you know…are you sensitive to loud noises all the time?"

Fyodor scrunches his face a little, not wanting to admit it. "…Maybe." 

"Ah- I was just wondering because I know I can get a little loud."

"No!" Fyodor's surprised at his sudden response, "No, it's fine. I like your voice."

"Well, first time I've ever heard that!" Nikolai laughs, and it's a laugh that's far more superior to any bell. "Alright, let's get this done so we can spend the spare time lazing around."

"Hm, okay…" Fyodor examines the copious heavy tools. "I'll coat the bell with the spray, and you can sweep."

"Sure- but I wanna clean the balcony, and you can mop and polish." 

"How come? The balcony would be the hardest part- she probably wants you to scrape the bird-"

"Eh, just a part of being a bird lover. I mean, you probably deal with it regarding Myskin."

"Myskin is very sophisticated and I am, in fact, training him to use a litter box or a disposable container." Fyodor frowns, "Also, I'm a bit worried he'll get nervous and jump from this height…" He zips open his bag, and inside it the mouse sleeps. "Well, either that or get awoken with the bells." He zips it back, "Poor thing has had enough trouble as it is."

Speaking of which…this would be a good chance to talk to Nikolai about…that.

"We'll sneak a snack for him and us when we go to nurse after this, your treat, right?" Nikolai smiles, getting the broom and dustpan, sweeping. "But after we get dismissed, come on now. Also don't talk while your head is inside the bell, back when I was in Ukraine I've hit my head wayyy too many times."

"Ukraine?" Fyodor raises an eyebrow. 

"Also check the ropes to see if they're frayed or not." Nikolai interjects quickly, "Geez- there's so much dust here."

"Why did you come-"

"Come on Fedya! Ring ring ring! Sweep sweep sweep, clean clean clean!" He hums for a little while in this manner, and Fyodor resigns with a sigh, getting the spray and cloths.

The iron was surprisingly both hard and easy to clean- easy when there weren't blemishes or bird excrement, but difficult otherwise. Fyodor was not exactly known for 'elbow grease', and often resulted in 'ngh's and 'hah's and all matter of exerted effort. 

"Is it really that hard?" Nikolai whistles, collecting the corners. 

"Oh shush- you got the easy job." Fyodor rolls his eyes, moving to the corner to clean around the rim. "I'm sorry I'm not as tough as most people- but my strength lies in mental fortitu- AH!" 

He fall backwards onto the floor, flinching at air and invisible strands. "…It seems that churches are also a haven for spiders." 

"What were you saying?" Nikolai grins, "Also, I haven't swept that part yet- move over here."

"Oh shush. Besides, I'm working harder than you are- you've been humming along and I've already cleaned that part.

"Not really, there's a whole layer in the middle and top that needs to be done- as well as the underside." Nikolai points out.

"I know that- I'm working my way up." Fyodor looks away, and continues cleaning the other side, brushing away the cobwebs. 

"Hmm…you don't need to be so defensive." Nikolai shrugs, "Besides, you'll have a growth spurt soon enough."

"Kolya, if you do not shut up I will make sure you drink this whole spray bottle." 

And of course, as if the thunder of God himself decided to add more effect, the bell rang loudly.

Said effect was Fyodor once again fell as he was startled, bringing his hands to his ears and dropping the bottle. 

"…I was right on the nose." Nikolai shudders for comedic effect, "You're scary, Fedyaaa."

He picks the bottle up and helps Fyodor. "…Thanks." At least he can clean the inside now.

"Just, please, don't fall now. I won't be able to catch you."

"You didn't catch me the first time." Fyodor murmurs, trying to make short work of the job- and by the time he was finished Nikolai had cleared the place of most dust and insects. 

"Okay, now for the top part- you're going to need a ladder. I can hold it for you-"

"Nah, you can do it." Fyodor hands the spray and cloth over. "I'll hold the ladder." 

"You aren't going to let me fall because I teased you a bit, are you?"

Fyodor just smiles, as he brings the ladder.

"…That's horrifying."

"It's fine right- you have the weird relocation thingy."

"…" Nikolai silently climbs up the bell tower, glancing to see if Fyodor was supporting it before he cleaned around it. 

"You know I will have to inevitably ask or pry it out of you." Fyodor helps him down. "As I respect you, you will have the choice." 

He's pretty serious when he needs to be, huh. "Well…okay- fine. We'll take a short break. It's fair enough." Nikolai takes off his blazer. 

"So…?" Fyodor sits up on the wall, tapping next to him for Nikolai to sit. 

"Well, okay- this is pretty weird but…some people have gifts. Like supernatural powers. I don't really know why, but one day- I was sleeping, and I must've put my hand in my other sleeve, because when I woke up- BAM!" He flutters his arms, "It's gone!" 

"Because I had pretty bad vision in this eye-" He pokes the blurred one, "I didn't really know what was going on- because it was my left hand. And then I hear my family scream like nothing else before and…" He puts his hand in his jacket, as it materialised in front of them, waving. "There it was in the kitchen, shaking and wriggling around. You should've seen the face on my mom when she saw it- she almost had a heart attack!" 

With that, he gets up. "And that's that."

"No it's not."

"If we waste too much time, we won't get to go bird-watching." Nikolai puts his finger to his lips. "It's only fitting such dramatic things are revealed on top of dramatic places."

"Must you be so extra?" Fyodor groans- just when he's getting somewhere. 

"I must." He grabs the scraper and gets started on the balcony. The noise irks Fyodor, but nonetheless he grabs the mop and starts cleaning any leftover grime.

The bell rings again, and amidst the scraping he almost curses (he does, but in a Catholic school no one needs to know that.) "Alright, done. Balcony time." He chucks the supplies away. "We have half an hour."

Nikolai sighs, "Someone's eager. Fine, but you better tell some juicy backstory too."

"There's nothing juicy about it. I don't have magical tele-location abilities."

"Wow, Fedya- way to isolate me." He perches on the edge. "If you fall here, I'll catch you. Probably."

Fyodor perches next to Nikolai, holding the wall a little for support. Nikolai sighs longingly, "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Fyodor sneaks a glance at Nikolai, his eyes half lidded and a relaxed smile- no grandeur or theatrics. The way his messy ponytail flutters and his bangs getting even more messed up- it's a strange picture.

A beautiful one. Well, when Fyodor's hair isn't getting in the way.

"Yeah."

"You keep looking at me and the wall, trying not to look down." Nikolai stifles a laugh. "It's almost like a storybook, in the distance."

"…" Fyodor glances quickly for a moment, being encapsulated. A forest, lush and green. The clouds, surprisingly for Russian weather, not looming and gray. The town in the distance with colourful houses and stalls and buildings.

"It's what birds see. They can go anywhere they want- and they see the world like this- in constant motion and flight." 

"Yet they still return to the same places, still tied." 

"You think so?" Nikolai looks at Fyodor, "I find that even nicer. A being that can go anywhere in the world and yet still returns."

"Will you return to Ukraine?" 

"No- for that's no longer my home."

"It's where your family is."

"And will you return to your family?"

"…I don't have any particular attachment to them."

"Neither do I." Nikolai sighs, "They thought I was possessed or had some strange interference with 'things not of this mortal realm'. So they took me to the priest."

"Usually things like 'gifts' are blessings and curses." 

"For someone so quiet, you're rather perceptive, aren't you?” Nikolai glances at him, turning a little to see him with his better eye, “Yes, they are. And what happens when a human sees something they don't understand?"

"They purge it."

Nikolai exclaims, "My! That's morbid! Ah, so Fedya is a realist. Well, not quite- one can't exactly 'bless away' tele-location. But, I managed to find out that it's accessible via an outer garment. Maybe that's why magicians wear long sleeves." 

The words struck Fyodor as odd, 'bless away'- 'not quite'. But for now he pushed them out of his mind. 

"Nikolai? What if everyone has a special ability but they just never know it?" Fyodor hums in thought, "It could be something really stupid and bizarrely specific like being immune to bombs, but only when they're in a certain shape."

"Ahahaha! You come up with the most preposterous things, Fedya. But…I guess I probably wouldn't be the only one. Maybe it's like when you learn a word, and then you see it pop up everywhere… That would be interesting, to see what other people would have."

"Hm, I don't think people would use them very well- such things could spiral out of control."

"Well, that's mean."

"It certainly would give someone a predisposition to a strange fate."

"Fedya, did you really have nothing else better to do as a kid than flick through dictionaries?"

"You have your ability, I have mine." 

There's the laugh again, like bells. 

A sharp knock on the door interrupts them, as they open it. 

"Hmm…fine- it's a satisfactory job. Go on, then- and I expect the two of you to have learnt your lesson. Gogol, you can stay back for introduction into your room- and Dostoevesky, go to the nurse's office and then you will be taken to your dorm." 

Nikolai stretches, as they walk down the stairs. "Alright, see you soon- at dinner."

"You have an hour and a half- and I expect you two to be prompt."

And so Nikolai waves at Dostoevesky, and he manages to find the nurse's office- swiping some lemon drops- and gets given directions to his dorm.

The hallways are rather empty and wooden, everything echoes- and it makes him think of that saying 'the walls have ears, the doors have eyes'. Watchful eye of God, huh. He puts his ear to the door, and hears some chattering- thumps of pillows, and turns the door.