#also if canon is not giving me crime boys content I'll create my own!

[stellocchia]

Okay, okay, Undertale AU now. 

So... I’ve been playing Undertale again... as I do once a year since it came out. It’s tradition. So I was kind of thinking who from the Dsmp whould fit which role... and yeah... 

(I also wanted to add that none of the characters who are in a romantic relationship in the game are in this au. As a matter of fact, no romance in general here!)

First of all, we gotta give the role of Frisk to Ranboo, not because he played Undertale, but because of that one time that he told the story of how he flirted with his opponents in volleyball (was it volleyball? Maybe another sport. It’s irrelevant!) and that’s simply a very Frisk thing to do...

Then first monster we encounter is Flowey and... I mean... that’s c!Dream right there. All the focus on “fun” and “power” and seeing life as a “game” and the bloodlust... yeah, no that’s definitely Dream right there. 

Then Toriel comes in! Yay! Puffy is Toriel, no doubt. Both of them have a focus on protecting the children and they’re both really kind, but can get hella scary when angry... 

Also Niki is Napstablook ... mostly because she basically did end up haunting/being haunted by the Secret City for a while... also pretty sure both like music and are pretty soft spoken

Then we get the skeleton brothers! Well, Sans first... and who would fit Sans better then Wilbur! Both of their characters struggled heavily with mental health related problems and they are both really strong but somehow also weak at the same time... (strongest boss in the game with 1 hp and all that) not to mention that they both have way too many simps...

Also that means Tommy is Papyrus. I do not make the rules here. Hyper younger brother who is endlessly optimistic and soft hearted? Yep! That’s him!

Which, may have you think that Tubbo is Undyne because, you know, best friends, but no. Undyne is, in fact, Philza Minecraft everybody. They don’t call him Angel of Death for nothing, so he definitely gets to be the captain of the royal guard in this one! He’s just a much more laid back but equally deadly Undyne.

Also Techno gets the role of the socially anxious nerdy scientist, because he’s been ibernating under a pile of dogs for a few months now and also because he once got peer pressured into murder much like Alphys did into building a murderous robot... so yeah. 

Also, to complete the ghost family now: Jack Manifold gets the role of Mad Dummy, cousin of Napstablook, because they’re both short, bald and full of spite

And none other then Eret gets the role of Mettaton (other cousin of Napstablook) because they’re both absolutely fabulous and because they’d rock the Mettaton EX form...

Moving on,Schlatt is Asgore. He and Puffy are brother and sister. Why? Because they are both sheeps and it would fit... though admittedly Schlatt has had less moral qualms with killing children then Asgore so far, they do both have that in common as well

Which brings us to Tubbo inevitably being Asriel, because sheep guy, but also because, as a character, he has a history of being pushed around by power hungry people with more charisma then him, and also because Asriel in his God of Hyperdeath form has a f*cking rainbow laser cannon and I think that’s a very Tubbo thing to have...

Quackity is Chara. Both are pretty vengful and power-hungry characters who are not afraid of doing some seriously f*cked up shit to get to their goals, but also they both care about those close to them deeply and have a sort of tragedy to their character

Also Awesamdude gets to be Gaster, and no it’s not only because there is as much Awesamdad fan content as there was Dadster despite neither of them ever being confirmed as canon, but because both characters are brilliant inventors who got screwed over by their own creation...

For some other fun bonuses I could think about: 

Sapnap as Monster Kid just because of the absurdly chaotic personality

BBH gets to be Muffet, for no particular reason aside from general vibe

Foolish as Burgerpants because they’re both underpaid and extremely stressed

Punz as Grillby because: money and intimidating aura

Purpled as Nice Cream Guy because: money

And this is pretty much all I could think about... I would include others but I’m kind of stomped at the moment...

So here’s some revisited quotes instead (under the cut):

Flowey!Dream: “Howdy! it’s me Dream. Dream the Dreamon!”

Toriel!Puffy: “Did you want to hear about the book I’m reading? It’s called “72 ways to crack an Egg”. How about it?”

Papyrus!Tommy: “Ah yes, Music Disks, a great reference for theoretical battle scenarios and parties! To which I get invited just constantly!”

Papyrus!Tommy: “W-well, that’s not what I expected... but st- still! I believe in you prick! You can definitely do better! Even if you don’t think so! I... promise....”

Sans!Wilbur: “On days like this, kids like you... should be suffering in Limbo!”

Sans!Wilbur: “Just... don’t say I didn’t warn you. Well. I’m going to Punz’s. Tommy, do you want anything?”

Undyne!Phil: “...Forget it. Look mate. Tommy didn't come to his meeting today. Say what you want about him. He's loud, he's bit selfish, he's obsessed with disks... But Tommy has NEVER missed a meeting. (...) But now he's gone. And his brother isn't around, either. ... What did you do to him? What did you DO TO HIM? Tommy, who I have trained every day... Even though I KNOW he's too soft to ever hurt anyone. Tommy who is... was just a child... ... Go ahead. Prepare however you want. But when you step forward... I will KILL you”

Alphys!Techno: “A long time ago, I made a robot named Eret. Originally I built them to be a farmer robot for my potatoes... didn’t turn out quite right there. Anyway, recently I decided to make them more useful. Heh, you know, just some practical adjustments.... and I might have been carried away a bit and added some, um... Anti-human combat features?”

Asgore!Schlatt: “I'd like to ask, 'would you like a protein shake?' But... you know how it is”

Asriel!Tubbo: “I always was a pushover, wasn’t I, Quackity? I know... you’re not actually Quackity are you? Quackity’s been gone for a long time. Um... what... what is your name? Ranboo? That’s... a weird name bossman...”

Chara!Quackity: “Hey man. I am Quackity. Thank you man. Your power brought me back from Limbo. My "human soul"... my "determination"... they were not mine, but YOURS. At first, I was so confused. Our plan had failed, hadn't it? Why was I brought back to life? ...You. With your “guidance” I realized the purpose of my reincarnation: POWER”