#also ignore the fact that they're passing the ball to each other despite being on different teams

[strike2yourheart]

Me? Finally drawing my soccer players oc's playing soccer? It's more likely than you think (Jonathan's a midfielder and Gabriel's a defender)

[lovelytarou]

caffeinated love

pairing: nishinoya yuu x reader

genre: fluff, slight angst

tags: coffee shop!au, barista!noya, noya & reader being whipped for each other

a/n: dedicated to my beautiful, loving, sweet and supportive wife @chibishae34 💖💞❤️💕 i hope you liked this surprise and i did your bb noya justice! :c

it was a perfectly sunny day.

it was too perfect, you might add. the scene in front of you could easily fit into a studio ghibli movie, the only thing missing are the animated characters, and the soft piano music that usually accompanied the films.

you don't know what made you look at life with rose-colored lenses today, it might be because you're in a good mood, or you woke up on the right side of the bed, or the wind just brought some positive air to you. whatever it is, you're thankful for it.

you're walking around campus with a skip on your steps, a smile on your face as you grinned at the people you passed and the surroundings. to some people, it might come off as creepy, or even weird, but no one is going to ruin your mood today. not when you're so close to having your coffee.

a bigger smile tugged at your lips, looking up at the café in front you – its bold, intricate sign you're familiar with and the welcoming aura beckoning you in.

Crows' Cabin.

your favorite café that serves the best coffee ever in your campus. you couldn't have asked for more. they got your coffee right, the perfect amount of sweetness, the tinge of bitterness, and the smooth feel of the cream like a warm blanket on a cold day. not to mention, their staff is pretty welcoming and friendly, too.

what you loved most about this place is the fact that you can study in peace and the fast wi-fi that they have. it has the perfect atmosphere to do a little studying while you sip your coffee.

walking inside, you pushed the doors open, letting it emit a small ringing sound as it announces your arrival. the usual silver-haired cheery guy that greets you when you come in isn't standing in his usual post. instead, a short guy with bleached streaks greeted you with a lively energy that almost shocked you to the core.

you can't help but think how cute he looks, and walked closer cautiously to the counter.

“hello! welcome to crows' cabin! what can i getcha, cutie?” he gave you a big grin, leaning on the counter with his arm. you blinked in surprise, taken aback by his ecstatic greeting and chuckling lightly.

“hey, uh...is sugawara not here?” you probably sounded rude, but if there's a new guy on his stead, you could only guess that he's going to get your coffee wrong. at least, that's what you think.

he let out a humming sound, his face scrunching up as he thinks with his index finger and thumb under his chin. your heart skipped a beat. he couldn't get any cuter.

“i heard sugawara changed shifts because of his hectic schedule and all,” he explained, waving his arms about. “but you're lucky you're stuck with me! so, what do you want? coffee, tea, or me?” he gave you a wink after his question.

despite the nag of disappointment at the news of sugawara not being able to take your order anymore, it was quickly replaced by giddiness at the presence of this energetic boy in front of you.

before you could answer, however, the other staff with shaved hair that you quickly recognized as tanaka ryuunosuke, emerged from the kitchen and shook his head at his co-worker's antics.

“oi, stop flirting with the customer and take their order already!” he scolded, slapping the boy with the small towel he's holding on the head, earning a yelp.

“ukai-san won't be happy to know that you're trying to pick up chicks while on the job, you know.” tanaka's quip made your cheeks heat up. although, it seemed like the smaller guy is flirting with you, it was probably how he greets all the customers that comes in the café.

yet, the thought of him asking you out isn't too bad at all.

he's pretty attractive, you'll admit that. he's got mesmerizing, big, brown eyes that looks like it can pierce through your soul the longer you looked at them, and not to mention his fiery personality that greeted you the moment you entered.

“i can't help it, ryuu. they just looked so cute! who am i to deny our pretty customer our special service?” he wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively. god, you wanted the ground to swallow you whole.

“leave the poor customer alone, idiot. look at them, they're too red already!” it definitely didn't help that tanaka made a comment on how flustered you seem to get over his co-workers flirtatious advances.

“i-i'll get the usual, please...” you managed to croak out despite the embarrassment you felt, immediately sliding the exact amount to the counter.

the boy tilted his head at you in confusion, “the usual...?”

oh, right. he's new.

ignoring your flushed cheeks and rapidly beating heart, you murmured how you liked your coffee all the while his piercing gaze is intently staring at you, giving you his undivided attention while you explain your order passionately.

“uh, no– wait, that's probably too complicated. i'll just get that one instead–” he waved his hand dismissively at your panicked ramblings.

“nah, no need. i already memorized your order, angel face.” with one final wink at you, he went to the back to prepare your coffee.

“why don't you settle in and get comfortable while i prepare your drink?” he called over his shoulder.

tanaka could only watch the commotion with fond, proud gaze as he went back to his own station.

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

during the afternoon, the crows' cabin don't have many patrons unlike in the mornings and evenings. usually, they were back in their classes or offices, and sometimes will only grab a quick bite before heading out.

this is the most peaceful moment, in your opinion, in the café. you hummed along to the song playing on the speakers as you typed away for your essay that is due tomorrow. yeah, it might not be healthy to cram when it's due tomorrow, but with how busy you are, can you really blame yourself?

what's important is you're doing it now instead of putting it away and procrastinating like you always do.

your fingers stopped typing as you gazed out the window, thinking of what to write next. amid the staring absently at nothingness, the boy from the counter approached you. he placed the cup from the tray beside you on a coaster.

“thanks, uh...” shoot, you didn't get his name. you don't remember tanaka mentioning it, too.

he seemed to have read your mind as he laughed, eyes crinkling at the sides as he threw his head back. you can't help but stare at him, he's such a ball of sunshine. any moment now and you're sure your heart will burst because of this guy.

“my name's nishinoya yuu, nice to meet you, uhm...” he stretched his hand out, which made you chuckle. you accepted it, shaking his hand as you introduced yourself.

nishinoya rubbed the back of his head, his cheeks flushing, “that's a pretty name.” he murmured, eyes casting off to the side as the thought of how warm and soft your hands are overtaking his mind.

before he could get carried away, he cleared his throat and looked at you expectantly.

“anyway, i'm excited about what you think of the coffee i made!” he bounced on his heels from where he stood, excitement jittering his bones.

rolling your eyes playfully, you cracked a smile at his excited expression and brought the cup to your lips to take a sip.

time seemed to have stopped as nishinoya watched you take another sip of coffee. you, on the other hand, couldn't believe that he made it just how you like it despite the first time making it for you. the slight smirk didn't escape your notice as you let out an appreciative hum upon the taste.

“so?” he leaned a little close to you, anticipation written all over his cute face.

“i gotta hand it to you, nishinoya. you did well, maybe even better than sugawara’s,” his chest seemed to puff up at your praise which you found endearing. so he likes to be complimented.

“of course! who else can make your coffee if not also the best barista in crows' cabin?” he boasted, thumbs pointing at himself. you can't help the laughter that bubbled out of you. he's such a refreshing presence in such a familiar place. and you're here for it.

he felt his heart clench as he smiled at your laughing figure, one thought only occupying his mind: he wanted to see you smile and laugh more.

he glanced at the clock on the wall, noticing that it'd be a few hours left before his shift ends and until then he still has a lot to do. even if it makes him sad, he has to go back to work and part from you. although, he hopes not permanently.

“anyways, enjoy your coffee! don't work too hard! and uh, call me yuu.” he gave you one last smile before he went back behind the counter.

yuu.

his name kept repeating over and over inside your head, a smile on your face as you looked down at your cup of coffee.

you're definitely going to keep coming back here.

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

the next time you went back to the café, nishinoya perked up like an overexcited dog. his face immediately lit up at the sight of you. the relief that washed over you was something that you kept thinking about as you made your way to the counter, a grin splitting your face.

why were you so glad to find out that he's here?

“hey, it's you again. how are you doing today?” he greeted, already buzzing to life at the mere sight of you.

“i'm great, actually. and you?”

“it's been a long day, but it's all better now that you're here, cutie.” he chuckled at the way you became flustered in seconds after he called you a pet name.

“you're not too bad yourself, yuu. i'll take–”

“–the usual. i already memorized it, remember?” he replied, seeing the puzzled look on your face.

“right. yeah, sorry.” you facepalmed yourself softly, shaking your head at your forgetfulness. “it's just...i've been working too hard so i probably forgot,”

“i have just the thing, now go get cozy and i'll bring your drink!”

you took that as your cue to find your seat. today was pretty hectic for you, especially since you have to catch up to the nearing deadlines. taking a seat, you immediately opened up your laptop and began to work.

not half an hour later, a cup was placed in front of you, along with nishinoya sitting at the opposite chair which made you quirk an inquisitive eyebrow at the boy.

“what are you doing?”

“it's okay, i have my break at this time.” he then placed a bag beside your laptop, “on the house, a little birdie told me that it's your favorite,” he sheepishly rubbed at his nape, avoiding your gaze.

opening the bag, you find out that it's one of your favorite pastries inside. you can't help the soft gasp leaving your mouth at the kind gesture.

“oh, thank you so much! i've been craving these lately.” you gave him a grateful smile, biting down on your favorite treat. it still tasted just as good, but what really warmed your heart was the thought of nishinoya purposely asking sugawara for your favorite pastry and you can't help but add it to one of the things you like about him.

wait...like?

you couldn't help but choke at your own thoughts to which nishinoya shot you a concerned look. once you calmed down, you noticed that he kept glancing back at the wall clock then back at you then down at his fiddling hands.

“what's wrong?” you asked through a mouthful of food. yuu chuckled at the sight and shook his head.

“can i borrow a pen?” confused, you gave him one anyway. he grabbed the bag that your food was placed in, scribbling on it.

“thanks, i gotta go back now. break's over. bye!” he jogged back to his station and you were left weirded out by his actions. not only when you were preparing to leave the café did you notice the small note at the other side of the paper bag.

nishinoya yuu

xxx-xxx-xxx :)

you exited the café with your stomach and heart feeling full.

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

“do you think they liked the treat? will they even text back?” nishinoya paced back and forth in their small staff room.

“what if they didn't read the note?!” he gasped, stopping in his tracks as he bites his nails in anxiety.

sugawara laughed at his junior's predicament, “relax! of course they'd love the treat, i did tell you it was their favorite. as for the number, you should probably be a little more patient with that, noya.” he advised, placing an assuring hand on noya's shoulder.

as if possessed by a spirit, nishinoya perked up and his agitated self was replaced with determination.

“you're right. i shouldn't worry about it too much. they'll come around!” as soon as he said that, his phone's ringtone resonated in the small space.

on his screen was an unknown number and he immediately knew it's you.

without wasting another moment, nishinoya picked up the phone and answered the call.

“h-hello, y/n?” he internally cursed at himself for stuttering.

“–john? is that you? how's your mother–”

dumbstruck, nishinoya abruptly ended the call and placed his phone on the table.

“what happened? what did they say?” sugawara inquired, eager to know what happened between the two.

“it's not them.” nishinoya deflated like a balloon, covering his face with his palms.

was he reading this right? what if you don't see him that way? what if he was just forcing himself on you and in reality you don't really reciprocate the emotions he felt whenever you enter the café?

with a little more positivity from his seniors and tanaka telling him that he shouldn't lose hope, nishinoya decided to go home feeling less energetic than usual.

it was not around midnight that he received a call from an unknown number. he hated that he felt excited, that maybe, just maybe at the other end it was you.

picking it up slowly, he breathed in and out, counting to five before he answered the call.

“hello, yuu? it's y/n. sorry i called at a time like this,”

his eyes lit up at the sound of your familiar voice. even through the phone it sounded as beautiful as ever.

he almost stumbled over the scattered clothes and mess that littered his bedroom floor when it is indeed you that called him, landing on his bed.

“y/n? it's really you! uh, don't worry about it. i'm not sleeping yet...totally not because i was waiting on you or anything!”

your laughter brought butterflies fluttering in his stomach, oh how he'd love to hear that sweet sound everyday. it got him smiling too as he listened to it.

“i'm sorry for making you wait. i was just busy with my studies and all...but, i've decided.”

“decided...on what?”

there was a pregnant pause on the other end, he thought that you might ended the call or something. but then you spoke up again.

“i wanna go on a date with you.”

he must be in heaven because there is no way in hell or earth that you'd want to go on a date with him. you, who looks so pretty, beautiful, elegant and charming that he's having a hard time if you're actually real. you, who never fails to make his days a little better at work whenever you waltzed in and decided to grace him with your presence. you, with your complicated mixture of coffee that he memorized in favor of impressing you and in hopes that you come back again to the café.

he couldn't believe it.

“y-yeah? that's great! so, when are you free?”

“i was thinking maybe saturday? if that's alright with you?”

“that's fine with me! i actually have a day off on saturday. same time? at the cafe?”

he can't help the grin that's practically splitting his face in half but he's just so happy. he immediately caught feelings for you the moment you walked inside crows' cabin and he can't get you out of his mind since.

the same thing can be said about you, which the only reason you're actually studying in the café and keep coming back there was for a whole another reason other than coffee. heck, you even find yourself thinking of him whenever you drink the beverage.

with a lovestruck look on your face, you nodded even though he couldn't see it.

“yeah, that would be great.”

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

when saturday came, to say that you were nervous and jittery would be an understatement. you can't stop looking at yourself in the mirror or literally any surface that you have a reflection on to make sure that you looked nice and presentable on your date with noya.

and due to that fact, you didn't notice him walking up to you, all smiles and looking as cute and handsome as ever.

“ready to go?” he asked, offering his elbow to you which you gladly accepted.

“where are we going?”

“it's a surprise,” he teased, flashing you a mischievous smile.

you went along with it. the two of you walked, stopped for some food and talked about what you both liked, disliked, and how he got the job at crows' cabin.

“–so i told ukai-san that i really need the money! i was actually just saving up for the new game i saw down the street but i made it sound like it's a life or death situation if he wouldn't hire me. in the end, i loved working there. i mean,” he gestured to the two of you, “because of it, i finally went on a date with a wonderful person!”

chuckling at him, you playfully pushed his shoulder.

“shut up,” you grumbled.

you can't help but admire him. the way he animatedly tell his stories with his own sound effects and grand gestures that never fails to make you laugh and rope you in with the story. he's fun to hang out with, knows a lot of stuff about the neighborhood and won't run out of tales.

“ah! we're here!” he paused walking to stop in front of your designated place.

he brought you to the movies.

“oh, wow...i didn't expect that,” you laughed sheepishly, trying not to offend him.

“i figured we'd watch a movie. ryuu said that there's this new horror movie that's a blockbuster nowadays,” quickly catching on to his plan, you smirked to yourself slightly.

“is that so? well, i'm pretty sure you'll protect me from the scary things in there, right, yuu?”

he seemed to puff up at that, “of course i will! what kind of man would i be if i can't protect you?”

that earned another laughter from you, shaking your head as you tugged his arm towards the direction of the entrance.

he insisted that he'd pay for the tickets and the food which surprised you a bit, but you couldn't really complain since he was being nice all day to you. you decided to just pay him back later.

as soon as the both of you are inside and the movie is playing halfway, you noticed how he's the one who is more scared of it than you. he's trying to play it off by coughing when he'd accidentally yell in surprise or laugh it off when he'd jolt up from a jumpscare.

how cute.

without saying a word, you grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. the feeling of your soft and warm hands brought him back to reality, looking down at your intertwined hands. his cheeks flared up and he thanked himself for choosing a horror movie or else this moment wouldn't happen.

“ah, i'm glad that movie was over!” he cried out in relief. all throughout the movie, he kept squeezing your hand hard like a woman giving birth or hiding on your shoulder when a jumpscare comes on. you gotta admit that you enjoyed his reactions more than the movie itself.

you were both now walking home – he insisted – and your hands are still holding each other, clearly not wanting to let go. by the time you walked out of the theatre, it's already nighttime.

the skies are clear and there are stars peppering the night sky. it's quiet out with an occassional passing vehicles, or a hoot of an owl but it's a comforting silence.

“this is me,” you mumbled, stopping on your tracks once you saw the familiar street your residence was in.

noya can't help but glance at the street behind you with a sad look and down at your still conjoined hands. he knows he should, but he wanted to spend the night with you longer.

“you sure you can make it home okay?” he gave you a pleading look, hoping that you'd let him at least walk you in front of your house.

“yeah, i'm sure.” with that, he let go of your hands hesitantly, linking your pinkies as he gave you a small, content but genuine smile.

“i really had fun today, yuu.” you avoided his gaze when you saw his smile widen in satisfaction. he laughed heartily at that.

“me too, even if i hid throughout the movie.” he rubbed the back of his head, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment. he kept rambling about how he probably turned you off because of that and why he shouldn't have taken you to the movies but somewhere exciting instead.

goddamnit, you can't take it anymore.

leaning in, you closed the distance between the two of you and slotted your lips in his, closing your eyes. you felt his breath hitch at your actions, his hands coming up to hold your jaw.

just like everything about him, the kiss was breathtaking.

it felt like hours when you pulled away, his eyes was still closed as he savored the blissful moment you shared.

“thank you,” you whispered, as if any louder can ruin the magic.

you pushed his shoulders away gently, giggling as you walked home. nishinoya was left there, awestruck with a dumb smile on his face as he stared at your retreating figure like he just woke up from a beautiful dream.

“huh...? hey, wait! come back here!”

[binkysteebnpewter]

Of Paper Planes & Teddy Bears

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem Reader

Words: 2100+

Summary: Wanda has loved you since you trained her when she joined the avengers. However she’s too afraid to confess all because she’s sure you’re dating the Diner guy.

I used a divider a few times, they’re by: @writeyourmindaway 💗

Warnings: TW:Dissociation, TW: Anxiety Implications, explicit (?) detailing, conspiracy thoughts (just to add flavor 🤷🏻‍♀️).

Taglist: @softpeachbarnes @thejournalman

There was so much that I could say about her. So much good, so much praise, so many compliments that'd sound like Shakespeare had possessed my body to write an entire play solely about how her eyes stared into my soul with just a simple fleeting glance she'd give as we passed each other in the hall. There was so much I could say about her to show someone how much I love her and what I love about her, but that would take too long— even though I knew I could talk about her until my lungs failed to take in air and my heart failed to beat.

What I would utter out was that her attitude was what got me up in the morning, other than the fact she always made breakfast for everyone even though she didn't have to— and her cooking is absolutely blissful if I'm honest. However her coffee is downright dreadful. She liked her coffee way too strong for me or anyone other than Tony and Bruce, who refused to drink theirs any other way now. I didn't see how she could drink it, especially not black with just ONE spoon of honey.

There were those days where sometimes she didn't want to cook and everyone would sometimes go to the nearby diner, and today was one of those days. She had dressed down pretty casual and comfy, but oh— she looked otherworldly in her comfort clothes, dressed to no ones expectations as she held her favorite teddy bear

Sam drove while everyone else talked, but her? She sat playing with a few small paper airplanes, making them fly with psychokinesis. Making one fly out of her course, she stops them all and looks to me. She smiles and one of them unfolds suddenly, refolding quickly. Smiling at the blossom flower, my eyes widen when I moved over and rested in my lap. She smiles to me once more and focuses on her airplanes again, leaving me a storm of emotions.

The time passes like it's racing as we all ordered, waited, receivers, and ate. Some of us were still eating, some were just talking and relaxing. It was peaceful and the diner was never busy enough to draw a crowd to us, thankfully.

"How you gonna be like 'she gotta blonde, she gotta be thick, she gotta be tan'?" She asks, standing up to a guy sitting near us as he dissed his own girlfriend.

"You ain't got the right to be picky. All you packing is a tic-tac.. what you gonna do breath mint?" She asks and he flusters.

"What you gon' do Listerine?" She asks, giving him a look full of utter sass and confidence.

Smiling as the guy flustered and began ignoring her, I nodded and gave her a thumbs up as she turned back around. She smiles to me and laughs a bit.

"Yo! You're here today!" I hear and she turns.

"Mattie! What's up?" She smiles, standing and giving the guy a hug.

Him.

The one I wish I was. The guy who gets to call her baby girl, the guy who gets to stay up and talk on the phone with her for hours, the guy who gets to hear her sleepy voice say those three words I so desperately want to hear and say back.

I love you.

Wanda had left my origami flower in the diner, right on the table with her plate. Did she not like it? Was it the wrong color? I purposefully kept my airplanes folded neatly in the colors black and red, the colors I knew she liked. Was I overthinking all the subtle things? Was I imagining them? It was possible, maybe I'm reading too far into things.

I walked silently across the street from the cemetery, a hat placed on my head and tipped low as I faced the ground. My fingers played with the fidget in my hand, the puzzle fidget I had solved too many times to count now. I was long overdue for a new one, there was no combination of moves someone could do to mess up the colors on my rainbow ball fidget toy to make sure I couldn't return each colored ball to its respective hole too quickly. Wind whipped around me and chilled my skin, my thin jacket doing nothing to keep me warm.

The pigeons, I swear, are staring at me as I walk. Following me, I know it, as I took turns and they stayed right nearby with me from the start of my journey. I was a long way from the compound, that I knew for sure. I'm convinced one day they'll begin recognizing individuals, or that maybe they're not even real— robots maybe. Do we ever see them sleep? Do the power lines charge them when they rest upon them? Do they video people and record conversations? Is this how the government truly finds wanted people?

A bus loops around and around, passing through the old streets. The neighborhoods of old tenement houses, public schools, coffee shops, and candy stores. Sidewalks lined with cart shops, their goods ranging from street food to newspapers and tourist spots. I haven't seen the bus stop once as it's passed by one time after another, yet there are always less and less people aboard it with each pass. Has it even stopped? Why come down this road so many times? Is it forever stuck in this route? Is it in limbo— wait, can objects be stuck in limbo?

dO UnITs hAVe a SoUL??

I pass a hot dog stand, the grilled hot dogs looked oddly like fingers to my eyes and I suppress a gag. Do they bleed when you bite into them? Is the juice metallic tasting? Is the texture— Let's stop there, yeah let's stop there.

I head to subway station to realize I had been in the Brooklyn-Queens area, my numb fingers aching as I swiped my subway card. I stand as far from people as I could, the suffocating feeling of the subway closing in. The scent of the train car was musty and pungent, like old sneakers in a gym locker and rotten food found in the home of a hoarder who'd dropped their food and never found it to pick up and throw away. My fingers pause in the motion of scrambling my fidget as I realize the conductor was making an announcement, I caught on too late. Asking the man nearby if he'd heard the announcement, I shuddered when he gave me a simple rat-like smile and said nothing with a shrug.

I guess I'll never know.

I feel as though someone is watching me and Natasha's words play through my head. 'If you feel like someone's watching you, it's because someone is.' Do I look for them? Do I make eye contact and sass them? No, don't. Really don't, never trust a man or even a women on the train this late at night— I have no clue why they're up, or why I'm up even. I had woke with a feeling of dread and left without a single thought about it, the compound had felt too stuffy and small— despite its size.

The compound was... a mystery to me. It was large and spacious yet at times it felt like it closed in on me, suffocating like a 5x5 room. It made me feel like SCP 096 in his airtight steel cube room, watched yet not seen.

I step off the train at a random stop, heading out back into the chilly night air to continue an aimless walk through a concrete jungle shaped like a maze of looming buildings that wait— wait for the perfect moment to swallow me whole like a fly in the air, gone like I had never even buzzed in someone's ear.

Walking off the sidewalk and into a parking lot, I glance around. The parking lot may seem empty but I don't trust it, there are cars here— I know there are. They just don't want me to see them yet. They like to hide, spook me when I'm not paying attention once more. The building seems to expend as I enter with my membership card in hand, I'm sure I'll never understand how everything fits inside this place— just like I'll never understand where all the shoppers in here come from, even so late.

Are they even people?

I don't know how long I've been in here before I begin to become hungry, taking notice of the samples being handed out. Don't trust it, never trust it— you don't know if that person is sick or has done something to the food. Buy something and make it yourself, or buy a packaged snack— some fruit even. I cannot find check out, and the lady I had passed only gave me an eerie smile when I asked how to get to check out.

What is up with people and not knowing the answers to questions tonight?

I sit motionless, vaguely aware i was on the floor in the kitchen. I was also vaguely aware it was some time past 4am, when I returned from my late name wander. However something is wrong, something is staring. I do not know what nor do I think I want to know, yeah... I don’t want to know— I never will want to know.

It feels as if I’m staring at the back of my own head, watching as blurs vibrate and buzz off me and disappear into the air. I was staring, but staring where? At what? What color is it? What shape does it take? Is it smooth or textured? Is it decorative or a utensil?

I want to reach and touch myself, reassure myself that I am, in fact, here— that I am tangible and existing. So I reach up to touch my forehead, but everything blues— freezes. It was like something had stopped me from proving I was tangible, but I didn’t know what stopped me. I can’t figure it out, I’m sure at this point I don’t want to figure it out.

Do not touch my own face, that is asking for trouble. Something has warned me not to do it, and blindly I will take the unseen things advice.

My mind feels cloudy? No, it feels foggy. Not quite... It feels as if someone has steamed it, the moisture leaking out my eyes— I am crying with a dull expression as I sit on the kitchen floor, barely aware I even exist. This skin isn’t even my own, who’s is it? Did I steal it? Did I win it? Did we swap? How do I give it back? It is uncomfortable and suffocating, irritating like a sunburn.

Who am I? Am I a spectator? Am I a player? Am I winning? What am I playing? What am I spectating? Are others here? Is this a competition? Where are the controls?

I’d like to take the controls now.

It was a very faint and ghostly feeling of a hand touching mine that made me obscurely aware my hand had never dropped from moving to touch my own face. How long ago was that? The world was a blur, scratchy and set in black and white like a very old VHS tape. I didn’t know how long it was of those ghostly hands rubbing my upper arms and occasionally wiping my face and eyes, but the feeling of those motions became more prominent— heavier and more tangible.

Eventually, my world came into color and the first thing I could see was red. Brown hair that was lazily held in a messy ponytail, skin adorned with a pair of red pajamas, green eyes that seemed so soft and worried as they met mine.

“You’re with me, miere?” She asks softly and I touch her hand that was cupping my cheek.

She is real.

She’s here, tangible, existing.

So I am real, tangling, existing— because she is talking to ME.

“Miere?”

“Please don’t leave me alone...”

“I am not going to leave, Miere. I am right here, don’t worry.. I am always right here.”

“I love you..”

���Miere?”

Meeting her green eyes, they seemed so bright but so cautious. Why? Squeezing her hand that had been holding mine, the corners of my lips tugged up a bit.

“I love you Wanda..”

“I... I love you too, Miere. I, I thought you were dating... Mattie?”

“Mattie..?” I mumble, confused.

Who is Mattie? Do I know a Mattie? Surely I do, she wouldn’t have mentioned a Mattie if I didn’t and— Oh, the diner Mattie.

“No, I’m not dating Mattie.. He was my friend from school.” I admit, his face now fresh in my head.

“Besides, I don’t like guys.”

“Are you... are you gay?”

“Of course I’m gay.”