#also luther dreaming about having a house and a dog and a porch is something so personal to me

[taiturner]

This is a mixtape for the enemy?

[jui-imouto-chan]

Finding His Way Home

Part 1/?

—This is the story that destroyed some members of the New Era Discord and created the “Suspended Fic” channel. I just cleaned up the story and added padding.) This is not the happiest fic, just in case you’re wondering.—

•

Cole and Connor were almost inseparable. Connor taught the younger a plethora of things, but that wasn't to say that Connor didn't learn from him, in return. Cole was like Connor's guide to the world around him, a teacher of the idea of humanity.

It wasn't entirely intentional, but the two opened each other up to so many new ideas.

Cole adored Connor, eyes lighting up like stars as he looked up at the android. He did his best to have the android with him wherever he went. And he always had excuses prepared to keep Connor around for as long as he could. He'd ask for assistance with his homework and for Connor to cook certain foods for him, helping the android with the cooking because all he wanted was to spend time with his older brother.

He got the other to tell him bedtime stories, to tuck him in, to smile at him.

("Hey, Connor, did you know? The last thing you think about is what you usually end up dreaming about!" "No, I didn't know that. What an interesting tidbit." Connor knew, but he was more than willing to humor the eight year-old. "So, can you smile at me before you turn off the lights? I wanna see you smiling when I fall asleep!" Connor couldn't stop himself from smiling anyway, a blue blush dusting his cheeks lightly. "Of course. Anything for you, Cole.")

Connor would come up with excuses to be with him, too. Coming over to work on files they already finished, talking about Hank's health, making sure Cole didn't burn himself trying to surprise his father with breakfast.

Hank would always invite Connor to live with them, even willing to move to a larger house if it meant that the man would stay. But Connor always politely refused, a soft smile with a hint of sadness spreading across his lips. Connor would always return to Cyberlife. He'd walk off into the dark of the night, taking a small piece of Hank's heart with him.

Cole was always reluctant to let Connor leave. But he'd let him anyways, since he knew the android would always come home.

...Until one day, he didn't.

He'd gone and hadn't come back, and suddenly, two pieces were added to what the android took as he left. Pieces of Cole and Sumo.

Cole thinks to himself that Connor didn't ever return, but in a way, he did. It just wasn't...him.

He looked like Connor. He sounded like Connor. He was even named Connor. But he was not, in any way, actually Connor. That was not his older brother.

He didn't smile the way Connor did, not as often or as brightly. He didn't light up when Sumo approached him, nor did he even move to pet the large dog. Connor used to always have treats in his pocket, the best he could manage to get for the St. Bernard.

Cole missed Connor so much. The Fake Connor never hugged Cole, and it took Cole longer to convince him to tell stories, and the other simply read them from books with a flat tone. Cole gave up on him, not willing to go out of his way to spend time with the imposter, and vice versa.

Even Hank was uneasy around the Fake Connor.

Connor would ask so many questions, childlike in his naivete, despite his appearances. When he’d be the one questioned, he’d rattle off information until someone told him to stop. The Fake Connor was quiet and to the point.

Cole just wanted his Connor back.

Cole...

Cole just wanted his older brother to come home.

As a revolution began sweeping over the city of Detroit like a fresh spring breeze, Cole began to encounter plenty of androids. The nine year-old even met the leader of the androids, the one who spearheaded the revolution, Markus, during one of the days his father took him along to the department.

Through Markus, Cole met Alice, alongside her parents, Kara and Luther. He’d also met the others in Markus’ circle, like North, Simon, and Josh. And another android, one who Cole always did his best to avoid looking at and interacting with.

Hank trusted the androids to keep his son safe while he was away, so Cole had ample time to forge bonds. Yet, there was always a distance he kept between himself and the others.

It was yet another day spent in front of New Jericho, a cathedral that had been modified heavily to become a perfect home for the androids that had needed one. Sumo panted at his feet, tail swinging back and forth.

Cole felt someone settle beside him on the bench. Their eyes met, brown meeting blue.

“You know, Cole, I really like dogs.”

Cole nodded, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Yeah, I know, Luther.”

Behind the large figure of the man sat Alice, who was peering at Sumo with adoration and awe overtaking her face.

“Can I pet him?” she asked, still looking and sounding the same age as when he’d first met her two years ago. He was almost older than her now, which was a strange concept.

He let amusement control his tone as he told her to go ahead.

She was petting the dog enthusiastically, to which Sumo responded with happy little noises and flopping down to expose his belly.

It was five minutes before she gave her last pat to Sumo’s fur and settled back on the bench. The three of them chatted while Sumo busied himself with sniffing something nearby.

The dog’s head perked up suddenly, which was caught in Cole’s peripherals, but ultimately ignored.

And then Sumo took off, and Cole felt dumb for letting his grip on the dog’s leash become lax. Calling out goodbyes over his shoulder, he dashed after his St. Bernard, barely dodging people walking past until he reached the grassy area that Sumo was now stopped at.

While making his way over to the dog, he found himself tripping and tumbling to the floor.

“Are you okay?” a voice asked, one so familiar that he felt himself tremble slightly. He grasped at the grass, trying to ground himself.

He looked up, then looked away. He would not fall for brown doe eyes; he would not fall for the gentle, concerned tone. Cole wouldn’t let himself--

“‘M fine.” he muttered. He could hear Sumo’s panting grow louder as the furry beast approached.

“Oh, is this your dog? He’s very cute!”

Sumo picked up his pace, chasing affection.

Cole went to get up, ignoring the hand offered to him.

You don’t matter to me.

You don’t....

His eyes darted up towards the other’s face. He stared into eyes glimmering in the sun, so full of emotion. Cole felt tears prick at his own.

Cole reached up, fingers brushing gently against the synthetic skin of a cheek.

Confusion was written all over the other’s expression. He looked down at him curiously.

Cole felt warmth grace his fingertips, felt warmth swirl inside his chest.

Then Sumo snuffled his side, bringing him back into the moment, and the warmth dissipated into an empty cold.

“You….” Cole almost whispered, voice weak. “You aren’t him, are you?”

The android scrunched his eyebrows in worried puzzlement.

“I’m not… who?”

Cole felt a new heat start up inside of him. Burning anger that made him bristle in rage. Memories flurried past him in a blizzard of hurt, his teeth grit and fist clenched in fury, his eyes flooded with tears.

Cole remembered sitting on the porch with Sumo, an excited sparkle in his eyes as he eagerly awaited his brother’s arrival home.

He remembered the smile dropping as the sun slowly disappeared behind the horizon.

He remembered his father pulling him inside as the stars blinked into existence.

He remembered fighting with his father every day, trying to wait. Because his brother would come home.

After days became weeks, became months, became years, Cole remembered his father, half full bottle in hand, breaking both of their hearts in a single slurred sentence.

“I don’t think Connor is coming back, son.”

He remembered denial, he remembered despair, anger at himself, at his father, at Connor, and that anger all swelled in him with each fast breath that lifted his chest.

Then everything rushed out of him when his lungs forced him to breathe out.

Cole felt nothing. He was shaking, he was upset.

“No, I’m sure you just look like him. Androids have plenty that look the same, right? Maybe you’re just another of his same model. That’s probably it, yeah. Y-yeah. I’ll go, now.”

With a quivering hand, he grabbed Sumo’s leash and walked off, ignoring the way the RK800 behind him hesitated, a hand lifting to weakly reach out just as his back turned.

Cole didn’t say goodbye.

Why would he?

Connor hadn’t.

(“Don’t say goodbye, Con.” Hank told the android before he left, one night. “Even if you get lost on your way, you’ll always make it back home.”

“What should I say instead?” Connor asked, seemingly trying not to smile at the word ‘home’.

“How ‘bout ‘see you tomorrow’? We say that in class every day.” Cole suggested, swinging their clasped hands.

Connor patted his head. “I can’t say I’ll be here every day, that’d be lying.” Cole pouted at him. Connor’s LED rolled yellow as he thinks for a moment. “Alright, how about, ‘see you soon’?”)

He forced the numbers written on the other’s jacket out of his head.

(“313,” Connor began.

“248!” Cole said back.

“317,” They finish together, Cole giggling happily.

“Number 51.” Hank added, looking over the back of the couch.

“My name is Connor,” Cole imitated Connor’s voice as best as he could, “I’m the android sent by Cyberlife.”

Hank barked out a laugh and Connor pushed at Cole gently, as though he were offended at the cute mockery, the younger sticking his tongue out at him.)

That android was not his brother.

Cole refused get his hopes up dashed again.