#also maybe keep israel and palestine in mind before you read the passage

[ankerrigan]

I think about this passage so often I made myself a little poster design with it a few years ago and it felt pertinent to dig it out and share it again.

ID in alt text and under the cut:

ID: A black poster with the following quoted passage from Lundy Bancroft's book "Why does he do that? Inside the Minds of angry and controlling men" in white text, with one portion highlighted in red. The passage reads as follows:

"It is not possible to be truly balanced in one’s views of an abuser and an [abuse victim]. As Dr. Judith Herman explains eloquently in her masterwork Trauma and Recovery, “neutrality” actually serves the interests of the perpetrator much more than those of the victim and so is not neutral. Although an abuser prefers to have you wholeheartedly on his side, he will settle contentedly for your decision to take a middle stance. To him, that means you see the couple’s problems as partly her fault and partly his fault, which means it isn’t abuse.

"In reality, to remain neutral is to collude with the abusive man, whether or not that is your goal. (Note: Red highlight begins here) If you are aware of chronic or severe mistreatment and do not speak out against it, your silence communicates implicitly that you see nothing unacceptable taking place. (Note: Red highlight ends here.) Abusers interpret silence as approval, or at least as forgiveness. To [abuse victims], meanwhile, the silence means that no one will help—just what her partner wants her to believe.

"Anyone who chooses to quietly look the other way therefore unwittingly becomes the abuser’s ally." End of passage.