#also me: on the regular makes essay-length posts analysing random queer asian drama moments

[mineonmain]

Second Couple Syndrome strikes again...

There is something really fascinating about a lot of second couples in shows where I find myself more drawn to them than to the main couple (VegasPete v/s KinnPorsche, DongheeXHotae v/s TaejoonXWonyoung, WinTeam v/s DeanPharm [i love you pharm...can i pay you to stop crying], SornThat v/s TanBun [i'm so sorry i'm actually lying here i'm obsessed with TanBun. But Sorn and That are fucking adorable and there's a reason why I mentioned them here hold awn], GunYok v/s SeanWhite, etc etc), and there's probably a few reasons. Maybe the main couple is too dreary/boring, maybe their story is uninteresting, maybe we're too used to the old couple and enjoy the freshness of a new couple with a new story and conflict. But personally, while all of these are true, I think the biggest factor is how much we don't know. We're given a taste of what they are, and are left to fill in the blanks for ourselves. It's the most incredible fandom cud that us fan cows are given to chew. (I'd argue it's this very thing that led to Between Us getting made, us liking what we saw of WinTeam in UWMA and wanting to know more).

Step by Step's side couple, Jaab and Jane, is very much shaping up to be the same. Not that they'll get their own show, but that we get to see just enough to make us want more, and yet not enough so we are compelled into thinking (and theorizing) about them all the time.

EP 5 SPOILERS AHEAD...

So let's talk about the two most important scenes for Jaab and Jane so far:

First is from Ep 3, when Jane is waiting with Jaab in the flat to be picked up by his boyfriend.

Yes, Jaab is the one to start, he's the one who raises his hand first to touch Jane's hair and cup his cheek. It makes sense for him to do that (emotionally as a character, not necessarily morally/ethically but that's not the point here), because he's in love with Jane and isn't really hiding it. Yet, he's still hesitant, trying to respect the boundary that Jane keeps reinforcing by reminding him of his boyfriend's presence. On the left, his hand his cupping Jane's cheek, but barely. His touch is feather-light, his hands are hovering millimeters above Jane's cheek.

In fact, it's Jane who crosses the line completely! Jane is the one to grab Jaab's hand, press it firmly against his cheek, hold it there securely, close his eyes to relish in the feeling. Jaab is obviously going to go along with it, because being with Jane is all he wants, so it was on Jane to stop it before it went any further, when instead he was the one to take it further.

Second is from Ep 5, after the team dinner back in Jane and Jaab's shared hotel room. Based on what I can tell, (because it feels a bit piecemeal sometimes, like there's scenes which happened off-camera, but maybe i'm just not paying good enough attention) Jaab is trying to apologize for something. Maybe fighting on camera? Or The Moment they shared back in EP 3?

Once again, Jaab is the one who initiated the contact, the pinky-swear, but that's all he did. He tentatively reaches out to Jane, every time, and waits to see whether he is accepted to rejected in that moment. Once he holding onto Jane's finger, the tension in the room becomes palpable, and Jaab waits. He knows that technically Jane is not on the market, so worst case scenario even if he is rejected he'll understand why, and so he's patient. He just stays there, and waits.

And once again, it is Jane who bridges the gap between them, he is the one who moves forward slowly towards a statuesque Jaab and kisses him. Jaab makes sure that the power is in Jane's hand, and surprisingly Jane uses that power. Again!

Even further into the scene, if Jaab were to keep going like this, he would just be content with whatever Jane was willing to give him , even if it was just a pinky-hold, so he doesn't ask for more (left). And once again, Jane is the one to first use his other hand to grab their interlocked hands together (right), and use that to yoink them closer together.

It's only been a few episodes, but time and time again it's the same ritual. Jaab expresses his love and affection towards Jane in a direct or indirect way, through his looks and his words and his actions, and Jane might usually remind him about his boyfriend so as to establish a boundary, and then Jane crosses the boundary that he himself drew to go towards Jaab. Jane is cheating on his boyfriend, almost with awareness.

And that's why this couple is so compelling to me. Other than this 'cheating', there's nothing about Jane that paints him as a bad person. Then why is he doing this? What is he thinking about when he does this, what happens when he's alone with his boyfriend? What is his boyfriend doing? What is happening is magnetic, and what isn't happening keeps us constantly guessing. Jane's actions paint him in a really grey light, and we can't help but question what his intentions are. For example, Jane has never once verbally acknowledged or reciprocated anything Jaab has said to him, but instead he has physically gone above and beyond, and that's still cheating. There's absolutely no clarity, for the viewers or the characters.

I'm obsessed with them.