#also me: writes a doctor who meets the thing story so i can torment jane

[brokenhardies]

The Mavity of the Situation

Summary: Set during Wild Blue Yonder. Separated from the Doctor and Donna, Jane is cornered by her not-counterpart. Unfortunately for her, she finds herself staring down all her bottled up emotions and issues that she hasn’t had time to deal with.

TW: Body Horror, Frightening Imagery, Caps halfway through

Word Count: 1959

Taglist

@darth-caillic​ @sterling-writes​ @wonderguards​ @reirvival​ @arrthurpendragon​ @foxesandmagic @eddysocs @superspookyjanelle (want to be added or removed? send an ask or a dm!)

The second that the Not-Doctor bent over backwards like the little girl in that movie that Jane had watched once - and only once, her previous incarnation, the gentle soul that he was, was too terrified by the movie to watch it again - Jane was racing out of the room before the Not-Donna and Not-Doctor could even blink. 

The Doctor had also raced off - hopefully the real Doctor and not their not-counterpart - but they were in a different location on the ship to Jane. Jane had found herself in the engineering room, all green and black with obnoxious lights and an almost toxic appearance. She took a minute to breathe, trying to collect herself under the pressure of the location and the terrifying creatures that they had encountered. However… That didn’t last long. Mostly as she heard a familiar voice.

“What are you doing down here?”

Her eyes widened, and she noticed her reflection was walking towards her. The engineering room was a dangerous place to be - Jane thought - as she was separated from the Doctor and Donna as the version of her with its arms a few inches too long and one eye slightly bigger than the other began to approach her. Jane took a few steps back.

“Strange,” The not-Jane said, “I would’ve thought your father would’ve come here. Always interested in machines. A lot easier to deal with than people…”

Jane blinked, noticing how her other self had spat out the word ‘father’, like it left a bad taste in her mouth. Her stomach dropped, remembering that the not-creatures had picked up on their brainwaves. It’s difficult not to think… But this one seemed more personal than the others. At least, she hadn’t seen what Not-Donna and Not-Doctor told their other selves. And it seemed hers was aiming for the stomach.

“...What?” The not-Jane asked, “Aren’t you gonna say ‘I would never think that’? Frightening, isn’t it? Hearing yourself say such things that you’d never truly believe…”

“Stop that.” Jane responded, causing her other self to laugh, maniacally and uncontrollably.

“Stop what?” She asked, “Telling the truth? God, you’re such a pathetic excuse for a child. I’m in your head, dear. And I know exactly what you think…”

Jane continued to walk backwards, trying to get away from the rubbery clone. She was able to hold her form, even if there were some minor alterations that not many would notice – an eye that was slightly bigger than the other, a strand of hair that was a little off-coloured, one wrist that appeared to be a few centimetres thicker than the other – but that didn’t particularly mattered. What did matter was the being seemed to be stalking Jane, not shutting her mouth as she spoke.

“You have a lot in that pretty little head of yours…” She continued, eyes wide as she stalked Jane, who was trying to find an exit. “All these delicious thoughts and emotions… Anger, resentment, grief… Are you still angry at them for going back to that damn old face?”

“You’re running around and acting like ‘everythings’ fine’, but in reality, every time they speak you shiver.” The clone continued, as Jane raced around a corner, but she felt a plasticky hand - her own - grab her shoulder. “You remember that day, don’t you? Waterlogged and desperate, fighting against the feeling of drowning as he shouted how ‘the laws of time are mine and they will obey me’. What an awful day for you, isn’t it?”

Jane gulped. She did remember that day on Mars. The day her second incarnation drowned and her father - wanting desperately to rewrite history - went mad with power and rescued crew members from Bowie Base One whether they wanted to or not. After Adelaide killed herself, and Ood Sigma reminded the Doctor that he wasn’t going to live much longer after that, Jane’s third incarnation locked herself in her second’s old library to recover from the regeneration burnout. That day was the day whatever hope had been left in number 2 died… With her as well. It was worse as her clone said what her father said that day in his voice. 

She pulled away. “I don’t have to listen to you.”

However, her clone continued, ignoring Jane’s pleas.

“Oh, they always liked that face, so much so they didn’t want to go, and think of all the adventures you had after he left!” She chuckled. “...And then you found out they were lying to you. About everything. You were not really their child, but a clone of them… They didn’t know, but that wasn’t the point. You were nothing more than the spare. And you were even sent to Earth to die there.”

“Stop it!” Jane exclaimed, “I, I don’t, I…”

“And it gets worse,” The other-Jane said, almost gleeful in her statement. “You know why it gets worse? Most of the universe has been destroyed. That’s why we exist. Because of you, and your parent, and the fact you couldn’t stop it! And that eats you alive, every, single, day. You look in the mirror and you see a naive individual who was responsible for the destruction of half the universe!”

Jane raced off, as her counterpart chuckled, clearly enjoying the emotional torment that she was being put through. She found a spot to hide, but the hiding didn’t last that long, mostly as - well, the clone had access to her thoughts - and she’d managed to find her hiding behind a collection of buttons, wires, switches and other technological implements. The clone scoffed, as Jane panted, looking away.

“Oh, but you really miss her, don’t you?” She asked, “In fact, the only way you’d listen to what I’m saying is if I was her!”

“D-Don’t drag Rose into this!” Jane cried, covering her eyes, panicked at the idea of her clone taking the form of her crush. 

However, that was not the case. That would have been too easy for the clone to pick apart Jane’s inability to confess her feelings due to Donna’s memories getting wiped - and the fear of both Donna and Rose dying, especially as Jane wasn’t sure if ‘letting go’ of the metacrisis was a plan that worked - in fact, it was a little juvenile. Not what that creature had been planning. 

Suddenly, the not-Jane’s head began to compress, her body shifting and altering in size and appearance. It was a strange and frightening experience, Jane was reminded of the feeling during regeneration, but in this case… It was not covered by flashing lights and glowing gold energy. Limbs stretching, hands changing, face altering, before suddenly…

Instead of appearing like an exact clone of Jane… It appeared as a copy of her mother. And yes. Her mother. Blonde bob cut, wearing the same baggy jumpsuit, striped shirt, eyes wide and brown and full of joy. Jane swallowed. She knew that it wasn’t really her mother. But the creature smirked, eyes wide.

“What’s wrong, dear?” Her voice sounded off, shifting between accents and tones as she tried to sound sweet. “Afraid of your own mummy?” 

“Y-You’re…” Jane stumbled backwards, collecting herself against a wall. “You’re not my mum…”

“Oh, I’m even better than your mum.” The not-Doctor said. “I won’t die or leave you behind. I won’t forget you in the TARDIS for so long that you end up becoming part of it. I won’t abandon you for my girlfriend who I was in denial about…” 

All the thoughts were coming to the surface and Jane felt like she was about to cry. But she didn’t, trying to keep a straight face as she crawled onto her knees, hiding beneath a table with her legs up to her chest. Suddenly, she felt a pounding, hearing the sound of skin stretching like plastic. The creature was changing once more, its voice distorted as it cried.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are!” 

The voice sounded gruffer, deeper, with a hint of a Scottish accent. She recognised the voice as one of her father’s - the twelfth, the first of the new cycle - but the voice was screeched, almost sounding mad as the being continued to stalk Jane, who was crawling under the table, trying to find a way out.

“Come on, dear, I’m not going to hurt you!” The being claimed, “I’m just going to rip you to pieces! Wouldn’t that be fun? Isn’t that what you wanted?”

More stretching, more twisting, as Jane raced out of where she was hiding, noticing a familiar shaker of salt sitting behind her. She grabbed it, holding it behind her back, as she rolled out to see… Her father’s eleventh incarnation, a transformation that would’ve looked uncanny if he already didn’t appear that way. Her stomach dropped, as the creature licked its lips. It was starving, this time walking gently towards her, giraffe-like limbs elegantly moving as Jane held the salt shaker behind her back tightly.

“...After all, you know you’re going to die.” It said, “So why not speed it up a little bit?”

Threateningly, Jane pulled out the shaker of salt, causing the creature to scoff, eyes narrowed.

“You really believe I’m going to fall for that superstition, dear?” It said, “I can read your thoughts, and I know you’re bluff–”

Jane tossed the salt into the beings eyes, causing the illusion of her father’s eleventh face to break. Shedding skin like a snake, it mutated, suddenly looking like a goopy fusion of the eleventh, the twelfth, the thirteenth and her, still underneath that being as a branching off point. She could see pieces of her skin and teeth popping out of the side of the beings face, beneath what appeared to be her mother’s eye and a strand of her hair. Limbs appeared to be duplicated, and the torso appeared split between different clothing, body parts and segments. She could even see the Eleventh’s shoe-like face popping out of the Twelfth’s stomach, but missing any discernible features. 

It hissed. “THAT’S CHEATING!” 

It’s voice mutated between hers and the other three disguises it had put on. Gone was the illusion of friendliness, instead replaced with a monstrous creature… And that probably wasn’t even its true form. Jane continued to race out of the maze-like tunnels of the maintenance room, as the gigantic mutant that she had helped create followed her, destroying the room in the process. Considering the ship was going to blow up at any point, it made sense for it to damage what could become its prison. 

“DON’T YOU DARE RUN AWAY FROM ME YOU LITTLE SHIT,” The creature growled, as Jane continued to race off to an exit, looking behind her to see if it was still following her. “I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE – A COWARD! A NAIVE COWARD IN DENIAL ABOUT YOUR OWN FAULTS!” 

“I know…” Jane muttered, “And I’ve made peace with that!”

As the creature continued to stalk her, she found an exit and raced out, but the creature was still following her. She could hear the pitter patter of feet and wasn’t sure if it was her father, the clone of them, Donna or the clone of her. But she pressed on, continuing to race off as she felt heat surge through her face and body. There was an explosion forming, and she noticed the TARDIS, with the Doctor’s foot dangling over the edge. It still appeared to be them, as she ran and grabbed the foot. The Doctor noticed her, and pulled her up, as she took a deep breath.

“Arms still the right length?” She asked, as the Doctor nodded.

“One eye bigger than the other?”

The Doctor shook his head. Now, to find Donna and save her before that damn monster from inside her brain found them first.

[theartofdreaming1]

Semester Reading List

Another 6 months have passed and that can only mean one thing: Another semester reading list! Here are the books I’ve read from April ‘18 until early October ‘18, including summaries and my thoughts on them:

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte:

Summary:  When the mysterious and beautiful young widow Helen Graham becomes the new tenant at Wildfell Hall rumours immediately begin to swirl around her. As her neighbour Gilbert Markham comes to discover, Helen has painful secrets buried in her past that even his love for her cannot easily overcome.

Thoughts: I loved this one a lot! (I read it in, like, two or three days - and it’s a very thick book! but it’s just really good) I was pretty surprised at first when I found out that it begins telling the story from the male protagonist’s perspective (Gilbert); which is not what I expected, admittedly. The middle part of the book are excerpts from the female protagonist’s perspective (over the course of her courtship, then later marriage with her abusive husband) - it was really fascinating to catch such an intimate glimpse of Helen’s point of view and see it change over time... but it was also very nice to see how she’d always been a strong character, although at first more falling into that “woman as the savior of the man’s virtuous attributes” trap, before she realizes that if she wants her son not to grow up like his father, she has to leave (which is very big thing for that time, when you think about it) - and her husband’s manipulating behavior to keep her at his side (complete with the classic “you don’t love me as much as I love you”-accusation). In addition to that, it was also very nice to see Gilbert react to Helen’s diary entries with a lot of understanding and just being very respectful regarding her wishes from then on (he’d been acting a little douche-y and presumptuous at times prior to that) and also see Gilibert bond with Helen’s son... This book felt just very modern in the way it dealt with this serious topic of an abusive marriage, which made it a very fascinating read! (This was my first book written by a Bronte sister and I feel like I have picked the absolute winner with Tenant of Wildfell Hall :)

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Summary: When Elizabeth Bennet first meets eligible bachelor Fitzwilliam Darcy, she thinks him arrogant and conceited, while he struggles to remain indifferent to her good looks and lively mind. When she later discovers that Darcy has involved himself in the troubled relationship between his friend Bingley and her beloved sister Jane, she is determined to dislike him more than ever. 

Thoughts: I’ve already put my thoughts on P&P down in this post (I just read this Austen book very often ;)

The Darcys of Derbyshire by Abigail Reynolds:

Summary: During her trip to Derbyshire, Elizabeth Bennet longs to see the view from the famous Black Rocks, but her aunt and uncle refuse to allow her to ascend to the highest rock outcroppings alone. Elizabeth’s distress is only worsened by a chance encounter with Mr. Darcy - at least until he offers to accompany her to the Black Rocks. Unaware that the place has special significance for Fitzwilliam Darcy, she accepts his invitation. During their adventure, Darcy tells her the story of how his parents met and married despite many obstacles in their way; and like Darcy’s mother before her, Elizabeth learns there is more to the men of the Darcy family than meets the eye.

Thoughts: I really loved the story of Darcy’s parents, giving a little more backstory to the Darcy’s that came before the best-known Darcy of them all ;) The Lizzie/Darcy part of this book didn’t really work for me, though - it felt a little too fanfiction-y (read: romantic wish fulfillment that doesn’t exactly fit the proper nature of Jane Austen’s world... - or Darcy’s for that matter) for my taste. Nevertheless, it was still a very interesting read.

The Island of Doctor Moreau by H.G. Wells

Summary: A shipwrecked Edward Prendick finds himself stranded on a remote Noble island, the guest of a notorious scientist, Doctor Moreau. Disturbed by the cries of animals in pain, and by his encounters with half-bestial creatures, Prendick slowly realises his danger and the extremes of the Doctor’s experiments.

Thoughts: Very creepy. Definitely an interesting read (it’s a classic, after all... I just recently read a Wonder Woman comic that had a very ‘Island of Doctor Moreau’-vibe to it, which was interesting) and very suspenseful in the second half. It definitely made a good point about the importance of ethics in science. There were a few moments that made me uncomfortable because they read kinda racist to me (I guess you could argue that that’s simply influenced by the mindset of the society and era back then, but that’s just something I really didn’t like at all.)

The Caped Crusade: Batman and the Rise of Nerd Culture by Glen Weldon

Summary: Since his debut in Detective Comics #27, Batman has been many things: a two-fisted detective; a planet-hopping gadabout; a campy Pop Art sensation; a pointy-eared master spy; and a grim ninja of the urban night, cycling through eras of dark melodrama and light comedy and back again. He is constantly changing, jumping from page to screen and beyond, and yet he remains one of our most revered cultural icons. In this witty, wise, and a fascinating history, MPR critic and self-proclaimed nerd Glen Weldon explains why we’ve continued to look to this masked man in the night - and what that devotion tells us about ourselves.

Thoughts: Very extensive, in-depth and interesting book about Batman and nerd culture; the language was sometimes very flowery, with lots of fancy descriptors (which sometimes threw me off a little), but overall very fun and cool! (Also, I’m just a huge Batman fangirl, I love reading this kind of stuff! ;)

Mr. Darcy’s Diary by Amanda Grange

Summary: The only place Darcy could share his innermost feelings... was the pages of his diary... Torn between his sense of duty to his family name and his growing passion for Elizabeth Bennet, all he can do is struggle not to fall in love.

Thoughts: I liked this one a lot better than ‘The Darcys of Derbyshire’, I’ve got to admit - it felt a lot more natural and fitting for ‘canon’ than the other P&P inspired book. I very much liked how Darcy’s Diary gave the reader context for Darcy’s prickliness in the beginning of Pride & Prejudice (having the Wickham/Georgiana situation happen not too long ago, for example). It was also nice to read about Darcy’s thoughts and feeling regarding his friendship with Bingley (and his feeling for Lizzie, of course ;) Darcy is one of my favorite characters so it was a lot of fun to be able to read this P&P companion from his point of view :)

The Illustrated Man by Ray Bradbury

Summary: Ray Bradbury brings wonders alive. For this peerless American storyteller, the most bewitching force in the universe is human nature. In these eighteen startling tales unfolding across a canvas of tattooed skin, living cities take their vengeance, technology awakens the most primal natural instincts, and dreams are carried aloft in junkyard rockets. Provocative and powerful, The Illustrated Man is a kaleidoscopic blending of magic, imagination, and truth—as exhilarating as interplanetary travel, as maddening as a walk in a million-year rain, and as comforting as simple, familiar rituals on the last night of the world.

Thoughts: I just absolutely adore Ray Bradbury’s short stories (even though they don’t not necessarily fall into the genres I usually read). There is just something about his writing that feels very natural and simple to me, while simultaneously being very layered and making me ponder about the deeper meaning of the stories I’ve just read. This book collects mainly creepy (and excellent) short stories like ‘The Veldt’ or ‘Zero Hour’ (’the Veldt’ is the first short story in this book and it’s so amazing; it had me at the edge of my seat throughout), but also a kinda sweet one like ‘The Rocket’ - I very much enjoyed reading this book!

Wonder Woman Unbound: The Curious History of the World’s Most Famous Heroine by Tim Hanley

Summary: With her golden lasso and her bullet-deflecting bracelets, Wonder Woman is a beloved icon of female strength in a world of male superheroes. But this close look at her history portrays a complicated heroine who is more than just a female Superman. When they debuted in the 1940s, Wonder Woman comics advocated female superiority and the benefits of matriarchy; her adventures were also colored by bondage imagery and hidden lesbian leanings. In the decades that followed, Wonder Woman fell backward as American women began to step forward. Ultimately, Wonder Woman became a feminist symbol in the 1970s, and the curious details of her past were quickly forgotten. Exploring this lost history adds new dimensions to the world’s most beloved female character, and Wonder Woman Unbounds delves into her comic book and its spin-offs as wekk as motivations of her creators to showcase the peculiar journey of a twentieth-century icon.

Thoughts: Yet again, a really interesting and entertaining book by Tim Hanley about an awesome comic book lady! I already knew plenty about Wonder Woman, but there were still things I didn’t know about the world’s most famous superheroine. Plus, it’s always cool to learn more about the background and historical context behind the story of this amazing amazon!

Mythos: The Greek Myths Retold by Stephen Fry

Summary: No one loves and quarrels, desires and deceives as boldly or brilliantly as Greek gods and goddesses. In Stephen Fry's vivid retelling we gaze in wonder as wise Athena is born from the cracking open of the great head of Zeus and follow doomed Persephone into the dark and lonely realm of the Underworld. We shiver when Pandora opens her jar of evil torments and watch with joy as the legendary love affair between Eros and Psyche unfolds. Mythos captures these extraodinary myths for our modern age - in all their dazzling and deeply human relevance.

Thoughts: I always enjoyed reading the book about Greek myths that I’ve had as a child and I enjoy Stephen Fry’s humor, so I just had to buy this book when I saw it at my local bookstore - an excellent decision, as it turned out! Stephen Fry tells these ancient myths in such an entertaining and witty manner that I just couldn’t help but laugh out loud sometimes! It didn’t matter if I was already familiar with a particular myth or if it was one completely unknown to me, I was just completely glued to this book, eager to find out more and read Stephen Fry’s fun take on it! As this book doesn’t even begin to cover all the stories of Greek mythology that exist, I really hope that there will be a continuation of this book in the future :)

Catwoman: Soulstealer by Sarah J. Maas

Summary: Two years after escaping Gotham City’s slums, Selina Kyle returns as the mysterious and wealthy Holly Vanderhees. Batman is off on a vital mission and Gotham is at the mercy of the new thief on the prowl. Joined by the cunning Poison Ivy and notorious Harley Quinn, she wreaks havok across the city. Selina is playing a desperate game of cat and mouse. But with a dangerous threat from the past on her tail, will she be able to pull of the ultimate heist?

Thoughts: To be honest, I was pretty disappointed by this book of the DC Icons Series. It started out very promising and interesting with seventeen-year-old Selina living on her own, taking care of her sister, Maggie, who’s seriously ill. To be able to pay for the medical bills, Selina has become part of a street fighter gang, working for the mob boss Falcone. With this premise, I would have loved to just read a story about how Selina finds a way to break free from Falcone’s influence to do her own thing and become the kickass cat burglar we know and love - but instead, Selina is found out by the police and social services and then, at the precinct, gets offered one chance to escape the system to instead become an assassin for Talia al Ghul! A couple of years later, Selina returns to Gotham under the guise of socialite “Holly Vanderhees”. To me, Selina has alwas been someone who has been very independent and self-reliant and now to have her impressive skill set be traced back to the al Ghuls just doesn’t sit particularly well with me. Over the course of the rest of the book, Selina does team up with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn, which is normally something I absolutely love (Gotham City Sirens, for the win!), but Ivy felt extremely off to me: too nice, too soft, too goody-two-shoes, I guess? I don’t know, it just didn’t feel right to me. In addition to all of that, Selina has to share her own book with Luke Fox, aka Batwing. I have nothing against Luke at all, and his backstory is definitely interesting, but a) due to his dealings with his PTSD (that gets triggered by loud noises such as gunshots which, for a vigilante, is just plain dangerous and I can’t imagine Bruce being nonchalant about this kind of thing when ‘recruiting’ someone with these kind of issues) and other problems, he’s not particularly good at the whole superheroing, which is a bummer and b) there is so much going on in his life that I simply felt that Luke should have just gotten his own book so his character could be thoroughly explored. Also, I just wasn’t digging the romance between Selina and Luke (that might be my inner BatCat shipper talking, but I wasn’t feeling the chemistry between these two at all.) My biggest issue with this book is, that while I was reading it, I had like three ideas for other Catwoman stories I would have rather read, making this book just a reminder of missed opportunities for me.

Lois Lane (Fallout trilogy) by Gwenda Bond

Summary:  … a contemporary reimagining of teenage Lois Lane. She and her family have lived all over, but now they’re in Metrolpolis for good, and Lois is determined to stay quiet. Fit in. Maybe make a friend. As soon as she walks into her new high school, though, she can see it won’t be easy. A group known as the Warheads is making life miserable for another girl at school. They’re messing with her mind somehow, via the high-tech immersive video game they all play. Not cool. Armed with her wit and her new snazzy job as a reporter, Lois has her sights set on solving the mystery. But even she needs help sometimes. Thank goodness for her maybe-more-than-a-friend, someone she knows only by his screen name, SmallvilleGuy…

Thoughts: I’ve already read these books since I’ve started doing my reading lists, so you can find my thoughts on the first two books here and my thoughts on the third book here.

Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood

Summary:  Sixteen years have passed since Grace was locked up, at the age of 16, for the cold-blooded murders of her employer and his housekeeper/lover. Her alleged accomplice in the crimes, James McDermot, paid the extreme sentence of the law and was hanged on November 21, 1843. But some thought Grace was innocent, and her sentence has been commuted to life imprisonment. After a spell in the Lunatic Asylum she now claims to have no memory of the murders, and so Dr. Simon Jordan tries to wake the part of Grace's mind which lies dormant. But what will he find?

Thoughts: I first found out about Margaret Atwood’s Alias Grace through the Netflix series (which is really good!), so I knew most of the story already when I got myself the book. Turns out that the Netflix series is a pretty good adaptation of the book - still, the book offered more insights into the various characters (as books are wont to do) and I liked that the book wasn’t just simple narration from different points of view, but was also interspersed with excerpts from actual newspaper clippings, Susanna Moodie’s book and written confessions, as well as a poem at the beginning of each chapter and the occasional letter written by the characters. I did sometimes hit points during which reading was going pretty slow (maybe because it reads old-fashion-y, which is sometimes difficult for me as a non-native English speaker; maybe because it’s not exactly a short book you can just breeze through... I don’t know), but overall, it is a really intriguing story with multi-layered and complicated characters, which is always a win in my book (pun not intended)!

If you’d like to know more about these books (and/or my thoughts about them) feel free to message me at any time or leave an ask in my askbox! :)

The summaries are from the back of the books or amazon pages.