artnjh

[gayphichit]

@ai-ni-tsu-i-te replied to your post “i lovvveee that art seeing victuuri in trans colors makes me weep”

Do you have any thoughts on trans viktor that you'd share if u were asked coz if so consider this an official asking

buddy my friend i ONLY have thoughts abt trans viktor. my person trans man viktor life story is as follows (lil bit of dysphoria talk maybe tw):

-prefacing this by saying i know NOTHING abt figure skating but yoi land of no homophobia means im taking an artistic license with how competitions would work and everything. 

-there are little things when hes a child that point to him being a boy, but its overshadowed by the fact that his life is figure skating. it isnt until puberty, and he realizes that there is something wrong that he needs to come to terms with. its takes a couple years of thinking and talking and having breakdowns but when he finally realizes it its very clear to him what the problem is. hes a boy but no one else knows

-viktors lesbian moms are of course very supportive of him. honestly the one thing that really stops him from being able to reconcile himself with being trans is his future career in figure skating. by 14 he obviously knows that figure skating, and being the BEST figure skater, is what he wants. he does not want to do anything to intentionally get in the way of that. he even considers holding off his transition until he retires thinking, “it isnt THAT long, ill have my career and then i can be who i am.” he very quickly releases that is no way to live and its the support of his moms that helps him realize that there is no reason to sacrifice who you are, for a career or anything else

-viktor comes out to the media and starts hormones the year before the lilac fairy/eros costume. its his last year in juniors and his first year in the mens division. everyone is expecting a big change for his programs. will he cut his hair? will he stop wearing skirts? will he be able to keep up in a different environment? the answers are no, no, and yes. viktor’s entire thing is surprises and that is what he does: he shows up with his signature long hair in a ponytail, unharmed, and a half skirt that in his own words calls upon femininity and masculinity. and he fucking dominates the competition.

-you obviously cant bind while skating so top surgery is definitely a priority. he has it done before his entrance into seniors division. tbh i dont know if top would keep you off the ice for more than off season (or even what off season is in skating) maybe he takes off a year? could he do that? would viktor do that? i dont think he would if he had a choice.

-he keeps his long hair for years after hes in seniors. he prides himself on both his appearance and his ability to surprise people and his hair does that. he LIKES having long hair. his gender shouldnt determine how he wears his hair. (QUICK SIDE NOTE: victor’s well documented fear of a thinning hairline??? STEREOTYPICAL TRANS GUY FEAR RIGHT THERE. that + his suits just hits me in the head as trans viktor evidence)

-i dont know if his eventual cutting of his hair is to do with his transness at all, especially since we dont know the age he does it. i assume it followed by some emotional ordeal tho considering do weird shit to your hair after a breakdown is gay culture across the board

-on the topic of being a public figure, theres a definite level of paranoia of being trans and that knowledge being available to everyone with a search engine. even in a world without rampant transphobia, there is a level of “is this person treating me different bc im trans? do they even know? should i tell them?” esp with potential romantic partners 

-i really dont think viktor has had much of a romantic past, bc of this and just general no time whatsoever. it isnt that he doesnt WANT it, bc hes such a romantic soul. its really really hard to date when youre trans, and id argue even harder when youre especially romantic and looking for someone to really love and be loved by. it took victor 27 years

-meeting yuuri is a curse and a blessing all at once in regard to fear of judgement for being trans. victor at least knows that yuuri knows, since hes a skater only a few years younger, so he doesnt have to worry about that, but theres still the question of “will he treat differently than he would have otherwise?”

-this is one reason that “i want you to stay who you are, viktor” on the beach is sooo vital to their relationship. being trans is so performative, and as a celebrity there’s so many other aspects of his life that are as well, and having yuuri say “i want you to be you” is a incomparable weight off his shoulders. its very easy to fall in love with yuuri after that.