#also not a clue where that black spot on his pants came from im just accepting it

[droodlebug]

FINALLY finished my ooak Bud doll,, hes messy but I like him and i think i learned a lot from making him :] did not however learn how to not get yarn hair strands everywhere 😔

[descendantofthesparrow]

Soulmate au! tattoos - Harry Hook x Reader - Oneshot

Small spin on two soulmate au ideas that got sent in, name tattooed somewhere on the body and whatever is drawn on the skin shows up on the other, and im including tattoos (except those don’t disappear so if your soulmate get a tattoo you get one too and unless you get it removed it's there to stay)

soulmate au ideas from anon and @harryhasmehooked 

tattoo designs/ideas borrowed from @kindofchaoticgood 

=

Everyone was born with their soulmates name tattooed somewhere on their body, on their wrist, on their collarbone, on the back of the neck, anywhere really. Another thing was that whatever your soulmate had something written or drawn on their arm, it would show up on your body as well.

Many soulmates found each other by communicating with a pen and writing their information on their skin, others liked to make it a hunt and only give hints to their soulmate.

Then there were the tattoos. and not the ones that one was born with. The ones that someone got willingly inked onto their body.

If someone got a tattoo, that same tattoo would appear on their soulmate's body, but unlike when they simply wrote on their arm with a pen, it wouldn’t disappear unless they got it removed.

Sometimes, people gushed over their soulmate's tattoo and proudly wore them, others hid their tattoos away in fear they would be judged.

Usually, the ones who hid their tattoos either had a good reason to hide them or were just ashamed of their soulmate's choice of art.

You weren’t one of those people.

Around the time you were 11 or 12, small temporary tattoos began to appear on your skin, first just little inked ones that would easily wash off, but soon little stick and poke tattoos started to appear, they would fade after a while but they were cute and you retouched them on your own when you could. Some were little music notes, others resembled constellations, and one, which was your favorite, was a small hook nestled in the crook of your palm.

The first “real” tattoo showed up several months after the first poke and stick tattoos, your cousin had joked about how cliche it was and your soulmate must be a pirate or something, a skull with crossed swords on the right side of your chest.

Your parents had pretty much freaked out, you only being 12 and already having a tattoo but you brushed it off and admired it every day, writing on your arm to ask your soulmate where and how they had gotten the tattoo.

Unfortunately, you had never gotten a response.

The next tattoo to appear, on the left side of your chest this time, was a ship sailing into the horizon. Again you asked them where and how they had gotten the tattoo, along with asking the name of the ship, once again there was no response.

Only a week later a new tattoo showed up, this time on the inside of your left arm, written in slight cursive were the words “No grave can hold me down” you had traced the words the entire night into the next morning.

Soon after that, another tattoo showed up, this one on the back of your left hand, depicting three swords crossing their blades.

Your cousins always teased you about how pirate-like your soulmate's tattoos were, but you laughed at the slight irony of it since your soulmate might have been a pirate after all.

Considering their last name was “Hook” it was a pretty good chance that they had followed their dad's footsteps.

“Harry Hook” a name that drifted through your dreams, you always imagined what they would be like, hopefully, nothing like James hook.

It was years before a new tattoo showed up, when you were 16 and attending Auradon prep, after King Ben had invited four villain kids to Auradon, curling black inked words on the inside of your right arm ‘death before disloyalty’. You had no clue what it meant, but it clearly had a deeper meaning.

Throughout the years you had no luck in attempting to contact your ‘Harry Hook’, you had either sent a simple ‘hi’ or a small little note mentioning one of the tattoos. It was always no response. Though you got little notes from them that were rare and never had anything to do with what you sent him. Just little ‘hello’s and asking your name, but every time you responded, nothing came back.

you had mentioned it to Evie, who was in your art class, who said that because of the barrier, it prevented soulmate magic as well, meaning Harry hadn’t ever seen your little notes and didn’t even have your name tattooed on him somewhere.

Evie was also the only one who knew of your soulmate's name that was willing to tell you about him, being the least…biased against her fellow vk. Mal, Jay, and Carlos all seemed to have some sort of grudge against him and always badmouthed him when the topic of Harry came up.

Though thanks to Evie and her thankfully amazing art skills, she had depicted Harry for you, she had said it wasn’t perfect since she was more of a concept artist than one who practiced realism, that was more Mal’s thing, but you could tell she was just being modest.

Black fluffy hair, ocean blue eyes always lined with liner, plump lips that Evie said were always in a sharp smirk, a jaw that could cut someone. He was perfect, and you hoped you could meet him soon.

Three months after the vks had come to Auradon, a new tattoo appeared; this time of a solid black anchor on your right forearm. You traced it constantly with your finger, wondering what this one meant, just as you did with every tattoo appearance.

Soon after that, a swallow appeared just above the crook of your right elbow, and a lioness with a language you couldn’t speak written under it appearing on your left wrist.

Then a watercolor lily on the side of your right forearm, then constellations started to appear on your back, you had Evie take a picture each time one appeared, smiling as yours appeared among them (star sign, like Virgo or Capricorn)

Around April, another tattoo appeared, again on your right forearm, this time of a treble clef symbol with a series of notes within the loops. You wondered what the song was, humming it under your breath as you tapped out the notes on whatever surface your hand was resting on.

It was several months later before another tattoo appeared, and it was the most beautiful one yet. Swirling turquoise tentacles curled around and down your right arm, starting from your right shoulder and ending just below your elbow.

You had started wearing sleeveless tops more often, wanting everyone to see the masterpiece that was curled around your arm.

Once you turned 18 you started to decorate your skin as well, your first being a watercolor compass on your left bicep that melted into waves as it drew away from the middle.

Next, you got one with a moon theme on the back of your neck just below your hairline, reaching down your neck and connecting with the constellations on your back.

After that you got a skeleton hand on your right hand, then the map of Neverland on your thigh, then the north star on your ankle.

You were almost covered in tattoos, to which some people gaped and gasped, but you paid them no mind, your tattoos were your only connection to your soulmate and you couldn’t wait for the day that he would finally see your combined works.

-

Harry didn’t know if he had a soulmate or not, the barrier prevented any type of communication through writing on their skin or their names being tattooed on their body.

So Harry had gone his entire life without knowing the name of his, possibly non-existent, soulmate, and no matter how many times he had tried to talk to them, there was never any response.

He always did wonder though, if he had a soulmate, what they thought of his tattoos. Did they like them? Did they wear them proudly? Did they hide them? Did they get them removed? He would probably never know.

Until one day, only a couple days after the four traitors had invited four new vks, he was outside of the barrier.

The blank spots on his skin bloomed to life, a watercolor compass on his left bicep, a skeleton hand on his right hand, Gil told him about the moon tattoo on the back of his neck, the tingle of magic on his thigh and ankle told him there were new tattoos there was well.

He stared at the new tattoos, smiling slightly at the realization that he did have a soulmate. His smile dipped a bit as his left wrist started to burn slightly, and he ripped away the old bandage that covered his scar from years ago, eyes widening as the curving letters of his soulmates started to appear.

‘(y/n) (l/n)’

Harry stared at the name, not realizing everyone was moving towards Auradon till Gil gently pushed at his shoulder to get him to move “oh” Harry muttered, catching up with Uma and smirking as she stared at the large tattoo sleeve on his right arm.

“you are such a dork” she snorted, pushing at his arm and looking at his hand “didn’t think you were one to get a skeleton tattoo”

Harry just held up his left wrist with a grin “Oh holy shit!” Uma laughed, grabbing onto his hand and examining the name “(y/n) huh?...nice name” Mal yelled at them to catch up, making Uma glare at the girl. “hold your pants princess were dealing with some shit back here!”

Uma and Harry shared a look ‘we’ll talk about this later’ and followed after the other vks, Uma continuing to poke and prod at Harry's new tattoos.

-

Harry stood awkwardly in a quiet corner at Mal and Ben's engagement party as everyone else danced in the middle of the large garden. He swirled the pink lemonade in the small glass cup and took a careful sip. He let a small smile grow on his face as Gil and Uma spun around on the dance floor.

He glanced down at his left wrist, flexing it a bit as his soulmate's name shined lightly in the sunlight. He let out a sigh and took another sip of his drink, he had no idea where his soulmate was, they could be anywhere really, in Auradon, or maybe on the other side of the world.

“I like your tattoos” a voice spoke from beside him, and Harry glanced at them for a moment before looking back at the dance floor.

“Thank yeh” he muttered back, pausing as he went to take another sip of his drink. He whirled back around, eyes widening as he really looked at the person who had complimented him.

They were covered in tattoos, ones that matched his exactly, on their right arm were turquoise tentacles, an anchor, a swallow in flight, a watercolor lily, a treble clef with music notes, and…his name on the inside of your wrist. “Harry Hook…right?” you asked nervously, tapping your foot against the ground.

Harry looked down at his wrist again and looked back at you “aye…(y/n) (l/n)?” he asked softly, smiling as you grinned and nodded.

“That would be me, it's nice to finally meet you Harry” you held out your hand, your grin widening as Harry eagerly took it. “Come on, let's talk”

“Okay,” Harry muttered, sharing a smile with Uma and Gil as they pointed at your tattoos with wide grins “let's talk.”

You tugged Harry out of the garden party, your hands tightly intertwined. Just below your intertwined hands at the wrists, the tattooed names glowed for a moment then shimmered to a shining, just visible, gold color.

A symbol that one's soulmate had been found.

-end-

 another short but sweet oneshot! probably didnt make complete sense but im just wanting to get back into writing since ive been feeling a bit of a block with my main stories, so if anybody else has anymore soulmate au ideas send em in.

permtaglist

@queer-cosette @sephiralorange

@lunanight2012 @daughter-of-the-stars11

@musicarose @remembered-license

@random-thoughts-003 @verboetoperee

@rintheemolion @jatp-rules-my-life​

@thecaptainsgingersnap​  @imtryingthisout​

[therapy-ghost]

Why am I here?

Twisted wonderland x persona

Prologue: What is this place?

Warning: swearing

Disclaimer: This is Ghost/Me -> Here

It was dark, like really dark, it was almost if like i was in a box, or a small room, and i was fighting my eyes to open up, wanting to see where the heck i was.

Before long, i started to here the sound of a door trying to be opened, the person on the other side struggling.

'what the hecks going on, i cant deal with shit like this' i thought to myself, wanting till the person on the other side spoke.

"I gotta' hurry and grab a uniform, before someone spot me" the voice explained, sounding rushed and paniced, before trying again with the door.

I also paniced a bit, having nothing to defend myself with if/when the person on the other side gets in.

the shaking stopped before the person on the other side yelled, then blue fire was everywhere, making me scream, then i fell out.

"Now let me grab the goods and leav-" the 'person'' stopped mid sentence, seeing that i was out, they screamed.

Turns out the 'person' was a small, black cat with blue flames coming from its ears, a bow on its neck.

"Yo-you arent supposed to be awake" the cat looked scared, well i backed away from it, i have only seen talking cats in anime's and comics, not face-to-face.

"You are a talking cat, thats not normal" i pointed at it, making its face change from it looking paniced, to angry.

"How dare you HUMAN! Im Grim, sorcerer extraordinaire! just hand me your uniform and ill be on my way" Grim explained, putting a little paw on his hip, sticking his other out.

"my...uniform?" i looked down at my clothing, it was 100% not the same clothing as before, i have a long, black robe with beautiful embroidery of a light purple and gold on it, the robe being a bit to big for me , a set of black dress pants and shoes.

’which sick pervert changed me?‘ I thought, very confused as to how they got me to be asleep for that long.

“Well, I don’t see any change of clothing laying around, so no” I explained to Grim, making him more pissed.

"Hurry up Human, I dont have all day, hand over the uniform, and if you dont you'll regret it" he said, getting agetated as I backed away.

"I said 'No'" i explained before getting off the ground, looking down to the cat.

"Give It Here!" the cat yelled, shotting a fire ball at me but missed, "Ha" i said, running out of the room too get away from Grim.

I started running down hallways, through what looked like class rooms, out side, and then a library, before stopping, and looking around, trying to figure out where i was.

"This has to be a dream, but if it was, i wouldnt have felt the heat from the fire i was shot at with, Oh gosh" i said, paniced that i might not get home, before blue fire surarouded me, making me let out a heavy sigh.

"Foolish Human, you really thought you could get away from me, well think again" the cat explained, wearing a evil smirk on his face while he said those words, pissing me off.

"You listen here, i have no clue where i am, im being harassed by a flying cat to take of my cloths, and im hungry, you are this close to being sacraficed to every spider in this god damn place, and bet, there is alot, you are on thin ice" I explained, holding up two fingers, having them really close to each other to justify my point, before Grim was whipped, making him squeal.

"Oi, what gives!" He explained, very confused as to what happened, before a tall man in a crow mask and top hat came out of no where.

"Consider it tough love" he explained, stepping forward to me and grim, me stepping back from the man, narowing my eyes at him.

"Oh, you must be one of this years First years i suppose?" he said, looking to me, making me very confused.

"Wait, student, this is a school? No, no, no, no, im not going to school, id rather be chased around by the cat then go to school, ok, lets go cat" I said, grabing Grim by the bow as i walked in the derection we came from, before being grabbed and dragged the other way by Crow dude.

"Oh dont worry, youll love it here, and seemingly you have already made your debut, and bringing a poorly trained pet, that is not alowed at school" he said, making me staire up at him with confusion.

"wait, pet? No he is not mine, he was harassing me to take of my cloths" i explained, before grim piped in.

"Yeah, if anything, this human is my minio-" Before Grim could finish his sentence, i hit on the top of the head, glaring at him.

"i aint no ones minion, Remember what i said?" i said in a dark tone, making him shudder.

"Out of all the students i have dealt with in my years of teaching, none of them have ever opened their gates and stepped out of it on their own" Crow dude explained, making me even more confused, "well we should get to orientation, let us go to the mirror chamber" he explained, continuing to drag me.

'so that what they were' i thought to myself, remebering the coffins that floated around the place i woke up in.

"Ok, question, where am i?" i asked, making the Crow dude stop, looking over to me.

"so you havent re-gained your consciosness yet, well not worries, it happens" he explained, as we started walking again, going into a court yard before we stopped.

"this is Night Raven College, It is an institution for student to come that have rare magic, this is the most prestigious academy of sorts inall of Twisted wonderland, and I am Dire Crowley, the headmage and chairman of this fine school" Crow Dude, or Dire Crowley, explained, making me tilt my head to the side in even more confusion.

"So i was dragged here against my will, by you?" i asked, narowing my eyes at Dire Crowley once more, making him shake his head.

"Oh no, you were brought here by the dark mirror, that chose you to go to this school, and you were brought here in a carriage, which is a time honored tradition" He explained, sounding overly happy.

"So let me get this straight, I was chosen by a mirror to be dragged here by a carriage in a coffin i was stuffed in, to go to a magic school?" I aksed, making Dire Crowley nodded his head.

"Yup, You were chosen to come to Night Raven College, an all boys magic academy" Dire Crowley explained, making me stop.

"wait all boys?" i asked, He nodded.

"So, you dont see a problem here?" i asked, making him shake his head.

"ok, ill let you figure it out, ok lets just go to this ceremony" i explained, as he walked off and me and Grim followed.

It took us 10 minutes to get to the orientation, and as soon as we get there, Dire Crowley slamed the doors open yelling "I most certanly did not!" while entering, making everyone in the room look over.

there were 6 people, a boy with red hair, a boy with red eyes, a boy with glasses, a boy with lion ears, a really pretty boy, and a tablet, all standing there, the boy with red hair speaking up.

"Ah, speaking of the devil" he said, noting Dire Crowley's persence.

"I was looking for the student who failed to show at the orientation" he explained, before turmimg to me.

"you are the last to be assigned a dorm, go ahead, step to the dark mirror and get a dorm, and ill watch your weasle" He explained, shoving me forward, making me nervous with all the eyes placed on me.

i quickly walked up, as i stood in front of the mirror, a face appeared, before it spoke.

"state your name" it said, before i took a deep breat to calm myself.

"Ghost" i said.

"Ghost...the nature of your soul is..." it said, making me and everyone in the room silenced, waiting for my results.

"Unclear to me"

Thank you for reading the first chapter of my series, make sure you check out the master list(you can find in on my pinned post) for my seires and you can request headcanons and incorrect quotes, i hope you all have a great day/night, bye

[foxghost]

Joyful Reunion, Chapter 72

Translator: foxghost @foxghost tumblr/ko-fi1 Beta: meet-me-in-oblivion @meet-me-in-oblivion tumblr Original by 非天夜翔 Fei Tian Ye Xiang Masterpost | Characters, Maps & Other Reference Index

Book 2, Chapter 16 (Part 6)

“Quick, get back to the house!” Duan Ling wraps his arms around the man in black’s neck, but the man puts him down instead, and grabbing his hand, takes him past another wall.

Next, they’re attacked again out of nowhere as two daggers come at them from the side. The man in black responds to it just as swiftly; the attacker slices his daggers at the man in black’s wrist, but instead of letting go of Duan Ling, the man in black thrusts his sword back behind him, right for the attacker’s throat!

Seeing yet another man dressed in rogue’s blacks, Duan Ling is immediately dumbstruck.

With a light clink, the dagger hits the man in black’s wrist, the weapon glancing off something metallic. At the same time, the attacker dodges, moving his neck out of the path of the sword.

Duan Ling’s already confused. Who on earth is this now?!

The man in black quickly grabs Duan Ling and lands in the courtyard. While Duan Ling is looking this way and that, the man’s grip loosens and lets go of him. As soon as he does, the other man in black who’s just arrived grabs Duan Ling’s arm and pulls him behind himself.

The first man in black doesn’t seem in any hurry to leave, however; he simply takes a half step back, his sword thrusting forward once more. He’s actually going to fight the dagger-wielder for Duan Ling!

Duan Ling is simply dumbfounded.

The man in black second to arrive pushes Duan Ling away from the fighting, and with a wave of his hand, darts fly off in every direction, the projectiles stopping the other man in black’s advance.

Duan Ling runs out of the way and looks on while the two exchange blows. He can’t tell which one is which; one is slightly taller — is that one Wu Du? With a start he recalls that when Wu Du left the house, he didn’t take his sword with him! Yet as soon as that thought crosses his mind, the sword-wielding man in black and the daggers-wielding man in black’s weapons tangle together as they deflect each others’ attacks, sword and daggers flying out of their hands, the daggers bury themselves into a pillar while the long sword falls into the bushes. The two men abandon their weapons and get into close range to begin fighting hand-to-hand.

Damn it! Now that the two of them are locked in hand-to-hand combat, and it’s so dark at night too, he really can’t tell who’s who now!

Then there’s a flash of metal as one of the men in black leaps into the air and grabs the daggers, while the other man in black rolls along the ground to pick up the long sword.

The dagger in the left hand of one man brings up ripples in the pond, his qi sending droplets of water into the air, then his right hand brings up another dagger to cross the one in his left.

Duan Ling has learned this move before, and cannot help himself but cheer at its ingenuity! Li Jianhong was the one who taught him that move; it’s called “arc light”! It can be used with either one’s palms or a sword! He never could have imagined that it can also be used with twin daggers.

The dagger-wielding assassin has to be Wu Du!

Wu Du makes a cross with his daggers, channelling his qi behind it through both hands to make a wall of force that only the Zhenshanhe can withstand. Just as he expects, the two daggers curl into an arc in the air, the light arc flickering with moonlight.

The other man in black immediately leaps up higher in the air, and with a side flip, his slender figure spins with his sword as he meets the arc head-on!

The arc light lands, lifting the sword’s qi; with the inertia he’s thrown behind that sideways flip, the sword-wielding assassin neutralises the energy behind the twin daggers in four clangs of metal on metal. The daggers-wielding assassin gives off a great shout, and Duan Ling is finally certain! It’s Wu Du!

The forward momentum of the arc light hasn’t completely dissipated. It draws a line of air over the man in black, sending his mask flying while he’s still in the air.

In that split second, Duan Ling’s heart seems to stop.

Yet the man in black doesn’t dare stay and fight. He grabs the mask and moves up the wall with a back flip, disappearing behind the wall.

Only then does Wu Du remove his mask. He turns to look at Duan Ling, his eyes full of bewilderment.

“Who was that?” He asks Duan Ling.

Duan Ling shakes his head, looking just as bewildered.

Shouts are coming from inside the courtyard. They’ve clearly just come across the escaping assassin. Having recovered his wits, Duan Ling says, “Come on! Let’s go!”

He grabs Wu Du’s hand and rushes them back to their room. Wu Du knowingly grabs a robe to throw it over what he’s wearing, but Duan Ling is saying to him, “No! Strip!” And quickly strips Wu Du of his rogue’s blacks.

“Take off your boots too! Bring your daggers with you!”

Wu Du has no clue why but he quietly does it anyway.

The two of them charges out of their room once more, and the only thought in Duan Ling’s head is — that assassin had better not be gone already!

Helian Bo’s Tangut underlings, the Bian estate’s guards, Helan Jie — everyone has chased the assassin to the courtyard just beyond the main hall. The assassin flips up and over the wall, vanishing in front of their eyes.

Bare to the waist, bootless, and dressed in nothing but a pair of pants, Wu Du shouts, “Stop it right there!”

Wu Du charges at the courtyard, but by then the assassin has already gone over the wall. Duan Ling has managed to grab the very last second before the assassin left, and he quietly exclaims in his head: great timing!

Bian Lingbai stares at him in shocked silence.

As soon as Helan Jie turns back to look, he freezes on the spot.

Seemingly completely baffled, Wu Du sweeps his gaze over everyone around him, sneering, “Y’all are a pile of rubbish2 — can’t even beat a single assassin. In the end you had to leave it to your Master Wu to scare ‘im off.”

Duan Ling is speechless at his shamelessness.

Bian Lingbai says, “You … Wu Du, where were you just now?”

Wu Du says furiously, “I was half asleep. Can’t you tell?!”

Bian Lingbai then turns to shout furiously at Helan Jie, “What’s going on?! It wasn’t Wu Du?”

Duan Ling glances at Bian Lingbai, then he turns his gaze on Helan Jie with a questioning look and says most opportunely, “Where’d the assassin come from anyway?”

Bian Lingbai is also entirely in the dark; Helan Jie, on the other hand, has turned to scrutinise Duan Ling and Wu Du with open malice.

Soon afterwards:

Bian Lingbai, Duan Ling, Wu Du, as well as the crutch-leaning Fei Hongde arrive at Bian Lingbai’s room.

“Everything’s still here.” Bian Lingbai says, “The assassin’s purpose is truly difficult to fathom.”

Duan Ling puts on a show of staring at the treasure map on the table, but as soon as Bian Lingbai looks down, both Duan Ling and Wu Du turn their attention to the layout of the room. Duan Ling looks over each of the shelves while Wu Du looks at the floor, at last stopping his attention on a black brick in the corner.

“I’d only come to disturb you earlier in the night to ask where this treasure map could be pointing to, Master Fei. It’s been bothering me to just leave it there unguarded. Since you’re already feeling better, why don’t we go have a look at it in the next few days?”

Duan Ling can feel Bian Lingbai’s anxiety. But if he must think about it, things are more likely to go awry the longer they wait, and since the treasure is just sitting right there, why wouldn’t he want to take it? He merely wonders whether this urgency has anything to do with Helian Da.

“Naturally,” Fei Hongde says, “by sheer chance, you’ve saved my life tonight, General Bian.”

Duan Ling asks, “Where’d the assassin come from?”

“The assassin took me hostage and was about to torture me in order to find out why I went into the Qinling the other day.”

Bian Lingbai shudders as though he’s already made conjectures as to the assassin’s purpose, and what Fei Hongde said has just verified those conjectures.

“There’s no need to worry, general. Only Mister Zhao and I know the basic whereabouts of the treasure. I was planning to slip the assassin a lie, but then you arrived just in time, and that’s why he thought to look for the treasure map itself while he’s here and went to the study.”

“So that’s what happened …” Bian Lingbai nods, narrowing his eyes.

Is that so? Even though Fei Hongde’s deductions seem completely impeccable, it gives Duan Ling a vague feeling like something isn’t quite right about it.

Fei Hongde adds, “This assassin must be the same assassin who ambushed me near those streams in the Qinling. It’s precisely for the suspicions he gained there that he came to investigate personally. Good thing Master Wu managed to scare him off with nothing but a shout …”

Duan Ling keeps quiet.

Wu Du says, “Well, that’s only natural.”

Duan Ling has got nothing to say.

Fei Hongde grabs Bian Lingbai’s hand then, and says to him quietly, “It may just be the Tangut. General, you mustn’t set out without having a thorough plan first, lest we expose the location of the treasure trove. Give it a few days and give some time for the excitement of this evening to die down, then we’ll go there in the middle of the night and move all of the treasure away in one go. There are less chances for mishaps this way.”

“Master Fei, you’re quite right,” Bian Lingbai says.

It is already very late. Everyone returns to their own room, and as he closes the door behind him, Duan Ling lets out a breath he’s been holding all this time.

“Who was that?” Duan Ling asks, “Was he Tangut?”

“Impossible. There isn’t anyone among the Tangut who can fight like that.” After replying to Duan Ling’s question, Wu Du narrows his eyes and looks him up and down, considering.

Duan Ling has a feeling that Wu Du has his own hypothesis regarding the man in black’s identity, but he’s choosing not to tell him.

“You were really close to the assassin. Did you notice anything? Give me any clues at all.”

“None. I thought it was you at first so I wasn’t paying attention.”

“You can mistake someone else for me?!”

“You were the only one dressed in those clothes. Why ever would I think that it could have been anyone else?” Duan Ling dimly recalls a single clue. “There was a smell.”

“What smell?” Wu Du presses him.

“Sweat. He hasn’t bathed in days.”

Wu Du stares at him silently for a few heartbeats before he says, “Let’s go to sleep. This whole night has been nothing but disaster.”

“Did you find the stuff?”

“No,” Wu Du says, sounding quite cross.

“I’m guessing it’s probably in Bian Lingbai’s room …”

“It’s not like I’ve gone blind. I saw it.”

Duan Ling nods at this and lies down on the bed. When Wu Du lies down on the bed as well, Duan Ling sticks his face close and sniffs him, which makes the still half-naked Wu Du look quite embarrassed. All this thinking hasn’t been able to give Duan Ling any new ideas, however, and so Wu Du asks him, “What is it? You want a man or something?”

Duan Ling goes all red in the face. “What are you talking about?!”

Something else suddenly occurs to Wu Du, and with a wicked gleam in his eyes he looks Duan Ling over. “That Tangut barbarian didn’t grope you, did he?” And speaking of which reaches over to touch him.

Duan Ling says at once, “What’re you doing that for?”

“You’d carry on with a barbarian but you won’t let your Master Wu touch you a little? If I really wanted to take you, there’s no point in calling for help.”

Duan Ling’s face promptly turns a bright shade of red, but when he tries to struggle out of Wu Du’s grasp he’s held down on the bed instead, and Wu Du has a dangerous look in his eyes. Duan Ling has no idea how he should react, but worrying that Wu Du may actually end up doing something to him, his heart starts to beat out of his chest.

But all Wu Du does is reach underneath Duan Ling’s lapel to dig out a gold bead from his inner pocket. Then he gives it a single look before stuffing it right back.

That’s when Duan Ling comes to a sudden realisation — he knows why Wu Du let him see Helian Bo now, and it’s just as he thought, not with the best intentions. If anyone tries to take off his clothes and touch him with a centipede on his person, they’ll quite likely get bitten; a bite may not kill them on the spot, but it’s enough to cause at least a bout of suffering.

“I told you already. He won’t do anything to me.”

Wu Du remarks sarcastically, “Even if he did anything to you it’s none of my business.”

Duan Ling’s mouth twitches, but before he can react Wu Du has taken out a sheet of paper from Duan Ling robe. “And what is this now?”

Duan Ling recalls the evening’s conversation and says to Wu Du, “Helian … Mister Helian said that there are a lot of people in the nearby areas, lying in ambush.”

“What?”

Duan Ling turns over to Wu Du the information Helian Bo revealed to him earlier, and when he’s done, Wu Du looks absolutely stunned. Duan Ling says, “I … um, I think … Tongguan is in a lot of danger. We’ll have to tell Chancellor Mu immediately. Otherwise things may get out of hand.”

“Not necessarily.” Once Wu Du finishes getting the entire set of circumstances from Duan Ling, he sits back cross-legged on the bed. “What if that barbarian was lying to you?”

“He wouldn’t lie to me. What could he ever get out of lying to me?”

Duan Ling hasn’t followed that line of thought at all, but now that Wu Du has brought it up, he’s been reminded to consider it. Would Helian Bo lie to him? No, he wouldn’t, even though his friendship with Helian Bo is what makes him so sure. But from all that’s happening Duan Ling also believes that Helian Bo needs to keep the situation in his government under control, and he wouldn’t do something so pointless as to fabricate a map to lie to him.

With doubt in his eyes, he looks up at Wu Du.

Wu Du looks at the sheet of paper carefully, flipping it over. As soon as he turns it over he nods. “Hm, he won’t lie to you. Seems I worried too much.”

Duan Ling notices that a portrait of himself is drawn on the back of the map, and goes quite quiet.

Wu Du gives Duan Ling a look. “Not bad. Looks a lot like you. I see he restrained himself, observed the necessary propriety, and didn’t remove your clothes. Did you spend the entire evening cooing sweet nothings at each other and let him draw you?”

Duan Ling says immediately, “We weren’t …”

Wu Du makes to get off the bed, and Duan Ling hastens to stop him, lamenting, “Spare me! I’m serious, there was nothing of the sort!”

The bed is like a tiny little room of its own covered on every side in mosquito netting, and the way he’s clinging to Wu Du in a small space like that is making the mood between them extremely questionable. Yet Wu Du seems to be becoming quite distraught and distracted; he puts one hand back and pokes Duan Ling below the ribs, and Duan Ling immediately feels a numbness spread through half of his body, a weakness overcoming his limbs. Wu Du gets up and leaves the bed.

Seeing that Wu Du is about to fly off the handle again, Duan Ling gives off a loud shout and collapses on the bed.

Wu Du is quite taken aback and turns to look at him as soon as Duan Ling falls over. Duan Ling puts his hands over his stomach and groans, “My stomach hurts, my stomach hurts …”

Wu Du can but come back to check on him. And so Duan Ling simply lies still and watches Wu Du with pleading eyes.

Wu Du feels all the anger drain out of him; after Duan Ling throws a fit like that, he can’t even get angry anymore.

“Why you …” Wu Du pokes Duan Ling’s head with a finger. Duan Ling opens his mouth, as though he’d like to say something, but according to everything he knows about Wu Du, none of his excuses are going to work.

“Alright alright, I’ll lie down.” Irritation written all over his face, Wu Du gets on the bed.

Only then does Duan Ling feel more at ease. He says quietly in Wu Du’s ear, “What are we going to do next?”

Wu Du doesn’t want to listen to him babble on though, and turns his back on him.

“Hey.” Duan Ling grabs his shoulder and tries to turn Wu Du to face him. “We’ll have to think of some way to hold Tongguan. If those twenty-thousand men ever charge their way in here, Tongguan will be in danger.”

Without looking behind him, Wu Du puts a hand on Duan Ling’s face and pushes him back to lying down again.

“Why’re you worrying about all that stuff? It’s not any of our business.”

“But …”

Wu Du pays him no mind, and Duan Ling’s thoughts keep circling back — what’s he going to do about that letter? He’ll have to think of some way to send news back. But will Mu Kuangda agree to the terms he proposes? They definitely can’t just kill Bian Lingbai and leave; if they do, this place is sure to fall into chaos.

Their original plan was to kill and steal, then get out of here once they got the stuff. But if they get rid of Bian Lingbai now, the Tangut are eyeing the area just waiting for their opportunity to strike, and they could charge into Tongguan at any given time. Duan Ling closes his eyes and falls asleep, feeling as though there are problems every way he turns. Also, they don’t even have any evidence yet — Bian Lingbai may be trying to stage a rebellion, but there’s nothing to go on other than his words … even though he really does have the intention to do so.

I do not monetise my hobby translations, but if you’d like to support my work generally or support my light novel habit, you can either buy me a coffee or commission me. This is also to note that if you see this message anywhere else than on tumblr, do come to my tumblr. It’s ad-free. ↩︎

In the Taiwanese print copy of this book, this slang is marked with a note since it’s distinctly northern. The original was 廢物點心 / garbage dimsum, and the note explains that it means “dim sum that is pretty to look at but not good to eat”. ↩︎

[avengersassemble-fics]

Stark’s Girl

part 06/015 “the truth about paris”

masterlist

previous part // next part

word count 7.1k

an: sksksksk im so sorry about the word count in this but it’s worth it in the end?? wonder who will catch all the little clues in this?? especially the paris one 

ao3 link if Tumblr is being a big dummy

The hand that grazed across your cheek stung on impact, throwing your gaze to some place on the wall. You felt the blood trickle from your nose to your mouth and you straightened your head so you could face the man who attacked you. Well, really you had attacked him first (not physically, but your manipulative seduction was compromised somehow) but man was he angry at your deception. You were planning to meet him for dinner where you would try and pull more information by whispering sweet nothings in his ear, but you never made it to dinner when four men had broken into your hotel room. Not even really broke in; they had the damn key. It was typical kidnapping procedure, something covered your mouth and you blacked out within seconds.

But here, right now, your attention was on the man you had once grazed your fingers down, and he was in a new light, as you were to him. The intel you had gotten seemed to have left out the striking detail that he was not as passive as mentioned. No, certainly not. But who could really blame him? You most certainly couldn’t. But you forced the strained and terrified look on your face as he walked closer, trying to show some kind of fright to him.

“Pourquoi as-tu menti à moi, mon amour?” (Why have you been lying to me, my love?) He asked you while wiping his hands with a rag that was riddled with some of your blood. The four men stood in a semi-circle around you, watching as you shook your head timidly, your lip trembled as you watched him come closer.

“Je ne sais pas ce que tu veux dire-” (I don’t know what you mean-) you tried to say but he threw the rag down, and gripped your wrist that was tied to the chair.

“Ne me mens pas!” (Don’t lie to me!) He screamed in your face. You had closed you mouth as he eyed you before bringing one of his hands to your face and you twitched while he lightly dragged his fingers down your cheek. “Je vais vous demander encore une fois.” (I’ll ask you again) He paused to grab your chin in his palm, bringing you closer to him. “Pourquoi m'avez-vous menti?” (Why have you been lying to me?).

You let out a soft sob, even if you didn’t mean it he bought everything you were giving to him, you could tell by the look in his eyes. This man was hurt, this man who was so in love with you (or the idea of you) and it made you stop for a moment. You searched his eyes for something, for an answer to his question perhaps.

A knock made your mind come back to reality. To now. You squeezed your eyes tightly shut and pressed yourself into the corner behind the door who knew how long ago. Your fingers trembled as they hugged your knees and you shook your head at the memory. You felt everything in you tremble really, you hadn’t been able to collect your trainwreck of a mind since the events of tonight unfolded. After you emptied that gun and dropped it to the ground, it had probably set in for not only you, but Tony as well, that you. . . You were not just going to go back to a normal life like he wanted for you. Like you wanted for yourself.

Another knock on the door finally made you snap out of it. You let out a shaky sigh and used the wall behind you and to your side to push yourself up. You stumbled a bit but you grabbed the door handle and pulled it down to reveal someone behind the door. Your eyes ran up their frame as you took in the sight of Steve Rogers once again. Honestly? You were grateful it was him and not Tony.

Tony had enough on his plate right now it seemed. Maybe they all did.

Steve’s eyes looked you over and something seemed to click in his mind. His mouth opened once trying to form a sentence and his expression fell, but nothing came out. Instead, as if you already knew, you stepped aside for him to enter, and he did. You walked away from the door so Steve closed it behind him, and you wrapped your arms around yourself before speaking carefully.

“Qu'est ce-” You caught yourself mid sentence and straightened your back. “Um, sorry. . What are you doing here?”

You turned back to him and he eyed you again, choosing his words carefully as well. “I was seeing how you were.”

You forced a smile, giving him a light shake of your head. “Like I told Tony, I’m fine.”

Your smile fell as soon as you said it, and Steve shook his head. “Yeah and Tony may be telling himself to believe it, but I’m not.” He had taken a few steps towards you and put his hands into the pockets of his pants. You avoided his gaze. “So I’m seeing how you are.”

You scoffed a bit, shaking your head before looking back up to meet his eyes. “What am I supposed to say, huh? That the fact I just so easily picked up a gun and fired it at some murdery robot makes my insides warm?”

You were shaking your head as you spoke, and moved your arms to your side so you could press your fingernails into your palm, and Steve watched as you continued into a spiral and started to pace before him. “How am I supposed to tell you guys that I can’t stop thinking about everything I’ve done when there’s quite literally a demonic A.I. out there who wants to wipe you guys out?” You had pointed at him with that statement, and he took a careful step forward, though you didn’t notice as you paced back and forth once more.

“How am I supposed to tell you or Tony that I’m seeing them, all of them like they’re here? Like I’m killing them all over again.” You chuckled and Steve was nearing slowly so he could grab you. “How do I tell you that I feel like I’m empty?”

Steve had put a hand on your shoulder and you stopped pacing, but your eyes were stuck on a spot on the floor when the last part of your sentence fell from your lips. He could see tears build in the corner of your eyes. The air felt heavy with your revelations, but Steve was here for you. He just had to get you to see it through the haze in your mind.

“I thought that finally leaving Hydra’s grip and being here with Tony,” you paused and Steve watched as you glanced his way for a moment, “with you. . I thought that things would get easier. That the pain would stop, the memories and dreams of what I did would stop, but they haven’t. They’ll never let me live without some part of them in me.” Your voice dropped down to a whisper as you spoke of Hydra. “I’ll always be a monster.”

Steve’s other hand went to grab your other shoulder and he turned you to look at him. His hands went from your shoulder to cupping your face in his large hands, and forced you to meet his gaze. “You are not a monster, do you hear me? You never were, and you never will be,” he wiped the tears that fell from your eyes gently. “You did the things they told you to do so you could survive. So that you could be here with your family, with Tony,” you gently nodded in the palm of his hands, and Steve brought his fingers up to push some hair behind your ears. “The things you’ve taken from them don’t make you a bad person. You can do good with them, like Natasha has.”

Steve looked you over as your tears seemed to slow and he felt your hands go up under his elbows and trace back to his chest. You were reaching for him and he let you grab onto him in a hug, wrapping one of his arms around your body while his one hand stayed tangled in your hair as you wrapped yours around his neck. It was like he had scooped you up in an embrace and neither were arguing about it. The silence that had fallen in the room was heavy but not uncomfortable for Steve or yourself.

This was two people coming to understand one another. Trusting freely.

Steve felt you move against his chest so he carefully released you. You detangled yourself from him and looked from the ground up to meet his eyes. You searched for something in them like you had with the man in Paris, but just as easily as you had looked away from Marcelle all that time ago, you averted your gaze from Steve and looked around the room.

“It doesn’t feel the same without JARVIS,” you commented lowly. Steve glanced around before looking back at you.

“You should get some rest,” he said. You nodded, though you didn’t look at him and Steve sadly smiled. He turned back towards the door when you suddenly grabbed a hold of his hand. Your motion made him stop in his tracks and look back at you nearly in shock. You were also surprised in your actions, glancing from his hand in yours to his face and shaking your head as if in apology before letting it go.

“I’m sorry I-”

Steve shook his head. “No it’s okay,” he tried to reassure you but you just shook your head again.

“Steve can you. . Can you stay?” You were treading very carefully. He could see it in the way you darted your eyes over him before offering a small smile. “It’s too quiet-”

“I’ll stay,” he told you with a nod. “I can stay.”

This was uncharted territory. It was very unfamiliar for you, and for Steve too really. Both of you rested down against the mattress leaving a (probably to others) overwhelming amount of space between you both. But it was comfortable for you both. Steve rested on his back with his hands resting on his chest while you rested on your side facing away from him. He thought his purpose here was to comfort you into a lull, but he didn’t know you were still up and staring at the wall. It was hard for either of you to see in the darkness, so Steve just tried to listen to your breathing when he noticed how silent you were.

It was something you had learned from Hydra, but that's besides the point. Even with Steve’s presence your mind still raced with one more thought that you couldn’t shake. You didn’t know how much time had passed, you glanced at the dim clock to see it register 1:42 AM. Nearly an hour of silence had passed and you rubbed your face a bit against the pillow.

“Steve?” You whispered into the darkness, hoping he was still awake.

“Yeah?” He whispered back, eyeing you sideways. You moved again and he watched as you rolled over onto your back, closing some of the space that was still left between you two. He could see from the small amount of moonlight that came into the room that you looked to the ceiling in thought then over to him.

“Can I ask you a question?”

He nodded, and you edged up a bit higher on the pillow so your head was more even with his shoulder, and you sighed. “Steve have you ever. . been in love?”

He certainly was not expecting you to ask him that. He blinked a couple of times as he went over the answer in his head. Why were you asking? But you were watching him, and he felt that with everything you shared with him, he could share with you.

“I have been. Before the ice,” he admitted. “I don’t know if I knew it then, or if I realized it too late. But I was in love. Her name is Peggy.”

“Peggy,” you repeated, and Steve found himself nodding. “You said her name is.”

“She’s still alive,” he said and he didn’t know it but you frowned next to him. “I would visit her sometimes in D.C. in a nursing home. She has dementia and she would forget I went into the ice.” Steve smiled a bit to himself. “I would always tell her I couldn’t leave my best girl.”

You looked away from him as his story settled in with you. Steve had never shared this story with you, and suddenly you felt guilty for asking him to stay with you. You felt guilty for always needing his or Tony's presence when you were feeling something, because they have things they’re going through as well. You rested your head back into the pillow and looked up at the ceiling.

“Do you still love her?”

It was another loaded question. Steve thought it over and glanced your way. He could see you just looking up above, and he sighed a bit.

“I think a part of me always will,” he told you before turning his head to look at you fully. “Why are you asking this?”

“No reason,” you said and glanced at him. When you registered the pointed look on his face you did a double take. “What?”

“Why are you asking, (Y/N)?” He asked you again. You grumbled a bit and pushed yourself a little further up, resting against the pillows so you could look at Steve a little easier. It was like the two of you were sitting up having a conversation, but really it was your head gently resting against his shoulder, him watching you talk, and you looking at the ceiling.

“Before everything happened tonight, I was watching the people at the party. I couldn’t help myself, y’know?”

Steve nodded, and you nodded in response to him. “Well. . . I just started to notice how some people were interacting. I saw the way Tony and Pepper looked at one another, I saw the longing looks between Natasha and Dr. Banner-”

“You think something is going on between them?” Steve couldn’t help but ask and you chuckled a bit and looked at him.

“There’s something between them. I saw it.” You paused to let him interject but Steve motioned for you to continue. “Anyway, after seeing that, and after Ultron I haven’t been able to stop thinking about my last mission, about Paris.”

Steve remembered you briefly talking about Paris, how it was your favorite place. But you never told him, or anyone for that matter, what happened on that mission. You had grown very quiet, and Steve could feel you take a shaky breath.

“I never told you the truth about Paris,” you whispered, “because I can’t accept what happened. What I did. I was sent on an intel mission, that was true, but it turned into something more. Hydra believed that this man named Marcelle Olivier was developing a deadly neurochemical that would wipe out populations quicker than anything developed right now. It would have an immediate effect unlike mustard gas, while leaving no trace of it’s composition in victims.” You paused to look over at Steve who was still watching you speak. “If it was true, Hydra wanted it. Desperately. Marcelle was scheduled to be in Paris for something that they didn’t think I needed to know, and I was to interject and get the information . . . and I did.” You let out a little chuckled breath. “It took a few weeks, but Marcelle told me all about this neurochemical that would eat away at the brain of a person within two minutes. It was. . . Horrifying. The most awful thing someone could even come up with. But it’s what Hydra wanted, so I-I got it for them. But he found me out.

“One night I was supposed to meet him for dinner, but these men burst into my hotel room and I couldn’t react fast enough, or really even fight them all off. The next thing I knew I was in some ratty old building in an older part of the city, and he beat me. For hours.” You bit your lip a bit. “I missed my check-in that night, and I guess they had someone nearby to follow up and that’s when they saw the state of my room. I don’t know how they found me, but they did, not that I know who it was, only that three men were shot dead and it gave me a chance to get out of the restraints.

“I . . . I shot the last guard, and pointed the gun at Marcelle. He begged me not to pull the trigger. He had this look on his face and in his eyes besides fear . . .” you trailed off at the end and Steve watched as you rubbed your fingers together. “I never believed him until that moment that he loved me, or I guess, the idea of me. . . but I. . . I still killed him. I had to.”

At some point some tears had fallen from your eyes, but you rubbed them off your cheeks. “I started to think tonight about if anyone would be able to accept that part of me. Or look at me like how Tony looks at Pepper.”

Steve didn’t know what to say, but seeing you just casually lay next to him after revealing that didn’t feel right to him. He carefully brought his hand up that was closest to you and grabbed your hand in his, which made you look his way, and that’s when he saw the tears. “(Y/N). . . What you had to do for Hydra, it’s not you, this,” he paused to rub your hand with his thumb, “this is you. You’re working to accept your past, and that takes a lot of courage and strength. If someone can’t accept what you had to go through? Then they don’t deserve you.”

You watched as he stroked your hand with your thumb, and met his gaze when he finished his thought. The warm feeling that brewed in your chest was sudden, and you were partially afraid of what it meant. You suddenly felt like you were looking at Steve Rogers differently. Sure he had always been kind and friendly towards you, but his whispers in the night made you feel a tinge of something more. He could just be his normal friendly and supportive self, but something was telling you to move. So you did.

You were very very careful with how you moved beside him. He still held your hand, but you had lifted his arm a bit and moved yourself under it. Steve seemed to understand your motion, and when you released the fingers that were laced with yours his arm draped down your back. His hand rested carefully on your side and your head rested on his chest, one hand resting close to your chin flat on him and your other arm rested to his side like earlier in the day.

Whatever was happening was uncharted waters for Steve Rogers. He wasn’t sure if you were seeing his comfort or if this was. . . more. A part of him was hopeful for it to be the latter, but another part of him was terrified about what that meant, and what this means. The silence that filled the air was comfortable, and this time he could feel your breathing against him even out in sleep, and he laid there for a while longer letting the night sink in.

Something told him he wouldn’t have these late night talks with you for some time. Or just that he may not see you for some time, not until Ultron was dealt with. So Steve did what Steve does best: he made sure he would remember this moment, and how you felt in his arms.

- - - - - - - - - -

By the time you had woken up Steve was gone, the only remnant of last night you had was your memory and a scribble of a note Steve had left for you on the bedside table. How you managed to sleep through him leaving was beyond you, but you understood all the same. They were heroes after all. Still, you put the note away and tried to carry on with your day as if nothing was happening.

Tony left you a note too, but that was handed to you by one of the SHIELD agents when you found yourself sitting in his lab. Not having JARVIS around made the whole building feel eerie. The only comfort you could find for yourself was sitting amongst Tony’s work. That’s where they found you and kept a watchful eye over you as the day passed on. You kept looking over Tony’s letter about where they had gone off to, trying to make sense of the masses of paper strewn about.

There was something about a black market arms dealer he used to know that was an acquaintance of the man they busted just the day before. He said there was a chance they could stop Ultron right now, and he promised to be back soon. But you saw the documents left out, and for some reason the twist in your stomach told you otherwise. The arms dealer wasn’t a good man, and to top if off Ultron had two enhanced followers now. You may not be seeing them for quite some time.

And then someone burst in when the sun was getting low. You stood abruptly from the desk as two agents entered with a kick in their step like something had happened. It had all happened so fast, you had enough time to grab some necessities (clothes and the sort) along with both Tony and Steve’s letters before being ushered onto a quinjet. The agents who accompanied you sat on either side of you and you bumped shoulder to shoulder with them for maybe an hour. The flight pattern led you to believe you were being taken to the new compound - and you were right.

The big building was both a blessing and a curse. Blessing in the sense of a change of scenery, but a curse in the thought that something had happened to the team. To Tony. To Steve. You let these SHIELD agents lead you into the building before you reminded them of the fact you knew your way around. You felt oddly protective over the fact they were here with you, in a place you often reserved for time with Tony. This was a lot of his work, and yours recently, and it was odd that they felt it okay to propel you in like you were the one who needed to be locked away.

So that's how you found yourself here in the hub, at least that’s what you called it. It was the main sector of the building that Tony envisioned the Avengers and the team stationed here would use during mission briefings and interactions while in the field. Tony had it to where every quinjet the Avengers were on showed with a tracker on the map before you, and any news related to the team showed on the transparent screens as well. He was a visionary, your brother.

That’s how you saw what had happened in Africa. You watched the footage of the Hulk destroying a partially built building and Tony swooping in with large, equally sized armour to subdue him. It was awful to see, the look in the Hulk’s eyes were bloodshot, his veins popped from his body and it just was not like any other footage you had seen of Dr. Banner. But you stayed like this, sitting on a rather uncomfortable chair (you would talk to Tony about that at one point) and watched how the beacon of the craft they were on had stopped transmitting some point over the Atlantic.

You wished you could contact them with the million of questions running through your mind. Was everyone okay? Where were they going? Did Tony tell SHIELD to bring you here? How much has Ultron gotten his hands on? Is this how it felt to be on the other side? Just waiting for news to drop? You weren’t a particular fan if that was the case.

The hours dragged on but you stayed in your place to wait for news from them. Night passed and the sun rose like it always does, like it always would if things permitted. You squinted through the rays of sun and noticed the transmission had come back on, and reports from Seoul covered the once barren screen. You sat forward as your back cracked and reached out to move the articles around with your fingers, combing through each one to see the videos attached. Seeing some of them in action was. . . both fascinating yet bittersweet. Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, and Steve Rogers. You couldn’t help but linger on the footage of Steve, watching as he did everything in his power to fight off Ultron on the top of a moving truck. Ultron looked more menacing then the last time you had seen him, and that’s probably when it sunk in; the severity of the world you were now a part of.

The articles were dated from hours ago and you cursed the fact you had slept through this development. You stood from your spot and looked around the barren room tapping your fist into the palm of your hand gently as your mind reeled. You needed to know more. That itch of a feeling you didn’t know if it was because you were a Stark, or if it was because you were a spy, but you sat back down and began to type away at the system in front of you.

Hacking SHIELD was easy enough, you had done it before under the guise of Hydra, and it seemed like second nature for you now. Seeing Ultron before you made you shake your head and swipe the image away, but you looked over the information of his latest whereabouts and froze over the attempts for nuclear codes. He really meant it when he said the word extinct. There was note of a hacker stopping the attempts and you figured maybe you could try finding out who that was. Maybe it was information that could be useful for them.

So you dug in deeper, forcing your way through protective walls and typing away on the keyboard to find what you were looking for. This was like riding a bike without training wheels for you (how morbid does that sound?), but you did it anyhow, not caring if you were going to be caught. Like clockwork Ultron attempted for the codes once more, and you watched the coding nearly fight back to push him out in a second's notice, and you grumbled a bit. The screen flashed in numbers and you raised your brow a bit.

You’ve seen this code before. You’ve seen it here while helping Tony integrate something into the hardware of this building.

You reached out for the screen before you and zoomed it out with your hand, and the sudden realization at the image before you made you stand for your chair and look at it in awe. There was no way. This was true.

The Avengers had made it back to the Tower with the cradle and Bruce and Tony had begun work on undoing Ultron and Dr. Cho’s work on the body in it. That’s when his screen beeped and it startled not only him, but Bruce as well.

“What was that?” Bruce asked, and Tony moved from his spot next to the cradle, to the screen, doing something to it to find that noise.

“I don’t know actually, this is a closed-”

The message that appeared made him stop his sentence, seeing the words before him and he fought the smile on his face. He took out his phone-like device and turned back to Bruce.

“What is it?” Bruce asked, and Tony looked at the cradle.

“You have to trust me,” he said to his friend, who only shook their head in response.

“Kinda don’t,” Bruce admitted.

“Our ally? The guy protecting the military's nuclear codes? She found him.” With the flick of his wrist a form envelops the room, and Bruce takes his glasses off.

“Hello, Dr. Banner,” JARVIS greets.

Bruce motioned with his glasses between JARVIS’ consciousness and Tony. “Who found him?”

Tony smiled wide, “My sister,” he said, and walked back over to the cradle, “Ultron didn't go after JARVIS cause he was angry. He attacked him because he was scared of what he can do. So JARVIS went underground. Okay? Scattered, dumped his memory. But not his protocols. He didn't even know he was in there.” Tony paused to tap on the cradle. “Not until she pieced it together.”

Bruce nodded as he spoke, and looked down at the mass before them. “So you want me to help you put JARVIS into this thing?”

“No,” Tony shook his head, “I want to help you put JARVIS into this thing.”

When Bruce looked at him in disbelief Tony sighed. “C’mon I’m way out of my league here. You know bio-organics better than anyone.”

“And you just assume that JARVIS' operational matrix can beat Ultron's?” Bruce asked, earning a nod from Tony.

“JARVIS has been beating him from inside without knowing it. This is the opportunity, we can create Ultron's perfect self, without the homicidal glitches he thinks are his winning personality. We have to.”

Tony was trying his best to reason with his friend, and still Bruce looked in disbelief, but then JARVIS spoke, “I believe it’s worth a shot.

So Bruce grumbled a bit but he knew it was their best bet against Ultron right now. So he and Tony truly became mad scientists that day. And worked on this synthetic body for JARVIS’ consciousness to “plug” into.

You had paced back and forth in the room since you never heard back from Tony after your encrypted message to him. Had he gotten it? If he did, what was he going to use the information for? Why is he such a bad replier?

You stopped rambling when there was a familiar beep sound from the computer, and you hurried over to it and nearly skidded across the floor in the chair. There were only two words on it, but it was enough to make you feel at ease.

Thank you.

You relaxed your back into the chair and smiled to yourself. Look at you, helping your brother and maybe the world. Is this what Steve meant by doing good with what you have? It was. . . oddly satisfying. You stood from the chair when the screen before you yielded an error code, in all capital letters that read: ACCESS DENIED.

Uh oh. Someone had found you out. You tried to disconnect your connection but instead a face appeared before you and you jumped back, taking in the man before you.

“Do you have any idea what you’re-” He had started to say but stopped when he took your appearance in. He knew you. Did you know him?

“Miss Stark,” he acknowledged. Well that certainly answered your suspicion.

“Who are you?” You asked, only to then notice the little flag pinned to his jacket.

“My name is Phil Coulson, I’m the Director of SHIELD,” he said and you nodded in understanding. “Why were you hacking into our database?”

“I was trying to get some kind of information on what’s going on with my brother, since your Agents didn’t bother to fill me in on anything,” you replied honestly and crossed your arms. “You should get a better vetting system. I haven’t seen them since we got here.”

You swore you could see him fighting a smile, but he sighed in disappointment. “I didn’t think you would be as much of an issue as your brother,” he commented and you could see him lean against his desk and cross his arms. “I’ve been informed by someone on the team that Tony and Bruce have created a human symbiote with the JARVIS consciousness you provided them.”

“I’m sorry, they did what?” You asked, as if you needed clarification. But really it was more around the lines of what the fuck?

Coulson nodded. “They’re in Sokovia now.” He pointed to the map and you did in fact see two little dots on the move; a Quinjet, and the other marked as a MK-suit. The articles that were popping up now showed what you assumed to be the city lifting into the air.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to figure out how to get thousands of people off that rock.” You looked at the little tablet on the table while Coulson moved to disconnect your connection, but you lunged forward to it.

“Wait,” you said out loud and Coulson stopped behind his desk while you skimmed through some of the files you had from earlier and spread out an image between the two of you. “Do you have any more of these laying around?”

Coulson looked from the image to you, and you saw a smile spread over his face. “I think I know where to find one.” He nodded at you while grabbing what looked to be a phone. “Suit up.”

- - - - - - - - - -

They were arguing. Of all the times to be arguing, this was definitely not the place to be doing it. There were only two options Tony was sure of, and Steve didn’t like either of them.

“Not 'til everyone's safe,” Steve told Natasha, who breathed heavily next to him. Natasha shook her head.

“Everyone up here versus everyone down there? There's no math there, Rogers,” she told him and it was Steve’s turn to shake his head.

“I'm not leaving this rock with one civilian on it,” he said. Natasha gave him a soft smile and put a hand on his shoulder and looked out to the horizon.

“I didn't say we should leave.” She looked at Steve who watched her talk. “There's worse ways to go. Where else am I gonna get a view like this?”

“Glad you like the view, Romanoff. It's about to get better,” Nick Fury’s voice rang in their earpieces. Natasha and Steve looked at one another and then back to the horizon when a Helicarrier came into view like a gift from God. Nick Fury sure was a sucker for theatrics.

“Nice, right? I pulled her out of mothballs with a couple of old friends. She's dusty, but she'll do,” he commented and Steve let out a sigh.

“Fury, you son of a bitch,” he commented.

“Oooh! You kiss your mother with that mouth?” Fury asked in a joking matter, which only made Steve shake his head and Natasha chuckle.

“Altitude is eighteen thousand and climbing,” Maria Hill spoke to the crew inside, and gave a nod to one of the other agents.

Steve and Natasha watched as the lifeboats detached from the Helicarrier and began to move towards the rising city, and Pietro suddenly appeared at their side, and watched in awe.

“This is SHIELD?” He asked the two, and Steve nodded towards the kid.

“This is what SHIELD is supposed to be,” he told him, and the lifeboats touched the ground before them and a number of agents disembarked from the crafts, but Steve froze when he saw one in particular. He couldn’t believe the sight before him.

You were dressed in a similar manner to Natasha, or Hill if he could recall, a SHIELD insignia stamped onto the leather jacket you were sporting. You had hopped down to the ground and were helping people climb onto the lifeboat like there was no care in the world around you. But you were searching for something and your gaze landed on him, and even from a distance he could see the smile that spread on your lips.

“Let’s load ‘em up,” he said to Nat and Pietro, but he was already moving towards you. You grabbed people by the hand and helped them onboard when he finally made it to you and strapped his shield to his back, but seemed to have lost the words he wanted to say.

“You’ll catch a fly in your mouth if you keep it open like that,” you commented to him, and it made him smile. So he stood beside you and you both directed people onto the lifeboat until it was full.

It was working. The lifeboats were filling up one by one and being sent back to the Helicarrier as Rhodey and Tony both fought to keep the robots from swarming in the air. The amount of people (and lifeboats) left was dwindling, and you were working one by one with each lifeboat to the very end. And Steve stood by your side through it all.

“Avengers,” Tony’s voice said through the earpieces, and you could even hear it in yours. “Time to work for a living.”

You looked at Steve who was staring at you, so you nodded behind him. “Go.”

Steve hesitated but soon enough he dashed off and your eyes followed him until he disappeared around a corner. Your attention went back to the people still trying to board, and you grasped some hands as they clambered on board.

It was all invigorating, or it could have been from the air getting so thin from the altitude. Either way, your chest was filled with something other than grief and emptiness for the first time in who knew how long. You were making a difference. And SHIELD, Coulson, Fury (who he was you were still unsure), they were listening to you.

There was one lifeboat left, and as the last few were starting to board you saw the team come from the direction Steve had run off in minutes ago. Clint, Thor, Natasha, the Hulk, and then Steve. They had rushed over and helped the last of the civilians onto the lifeboat and Thor looked over to you and motioned to you with his hammer.

“The look suits you,” he commented. You smiled at him.

“Thanks,” you replied.

Steve had returned to your side and looked around him. “Is this the last of them?”

You nodded, “Everyone else is on the carrier.”

Steve nodded his head as he squinted around and offered you his hand. You glanced at the glove but placed your hand in his, and he helped you climb aboard the final lifeboat and then hoisted himself up as well. He was standing fairly close when suddenly the Quinjet appeared from the edge of the floating island and the people around you began to scream. Steve quickly wrapped you in his arms and almost reached for his shield when the Hulk leapt into the air and onto the quinjet, his weight throwing off the balance and sending it lopsiding into the city. Steve carefully unwrapped you from his arms and you looked past him at the city, and noticed a body on the ground. Steve’s eyes followed yours and you saw his shoulders slump. Clint appeared from behind a car and held a child, and you frowned. You weren’t sure who laid on the ground, but they knew him, and he had sacrificed himself for everyone on this lifeboat.

The lifeboat joulted and started back towards the helicarrier once Clint was back on board, holding the body of the man who had saved him. There was an eerie silence amongst the crowd, watching as Clint kneeled beside the man and stared in disbelief. You didn’t know when, but at some point you had reached for Steve’s hand and wrapped your fingers with his.

There was a crack of thunder, and everyone’s attention turned to the city. It was like a spark of light ignited the sky in front of you, and it enveloped Sokovia as the lifeboat made it back to the helicarrier. You watched in awe, and then heard Tony’s voice in your ear as people began to disembark the boat.

“Ultron is down.”

- - - - - - - - - -

It’s been several weeks since then.

The Compound was bustling with life now. Tony and Maria Hill handpicked a specialized team to help with the everyday routines that would happen on site, and he called it the Avengers Special Service Evaluation Team. He likes the abbreviation ASSET, though you had to nearly harass him to include the E and the T to his original idea. He told you it wasn’t as funny, and you told him you refused to be referred to as ASS on a day to day basis with him. So he caved, and you won that argument.

You had decided after the events with Ultron to take Coulson and Fury up on their offer to become a specialized SHIELD agent, on the condition that you would be stationed here as part of this team. Not only did it give you a chance to keep an eye on Tony (god knows he needs that), but it also was a steady enough environment for you to be in charge of. Answering to Tony and Steve, of course.

Today, Thor was leaving and so was Tony to return to the Tower in New York to undergo some kind of preparations. He told you that you didn’t need to worry about that, though a part of you still did. That left Natasha, Wanda, Sam, Vision, Rhodey, and Steve here in the meantime. They were probably just headed for training if the time was correct-

“(Y/N),” a voice called for you. You stopped in your tracks to look up and see Steve headed your way. He was dressed in his Captain America suit and you couldn’t help the smile that crossed your face, and pressed the tablet you were holding against your chest.

“I swear I see you in that all the time,” you commented and Steve smiled and cast a glance down his frame.

“Well how about you saw me in something different,” he said and you raised a brow but before you could answer he continued, “dinner? Tonight?”

You blinked at him and bit your lip a bit as you went over his words in your mind, “Like. . a date?”

“Like a date,” he answered.

You couldn’t stop the smile from spreading over your lips as you shuffled the weight between your legs, and nodded at him, “Yes. I’d like that.”

Steve smiled at you and nodded, and you both backed away from one another. You turned from him and he turned from you, neither being able to wipe the smiles from their faces for the rest of the day.

- - - - - - - - - - 

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[captain039]

Gaurdian part 2

Cayde x reader

Summary: the light connected you both why?

Warnings: nothingness xD

You were just as confused as cayde was. You touched the mark and nothing haooened you were beyond confused.

"May i interject?" Your ghost asked as you nodded at it.

"The light has chosen you both as soulmates-" you shut him up quickly throwing him into your pocket.

"Soulmates?" Cayde asked as you laughed nervously.

"No clue my ghost is abit um special?" You said your nerves racking at you.

"Ok you need to calm down your making me nervous" you frowned great now he could feel your emotions.

You ended up going back too the city with Cayde trying to figure why the light did this. You went to Ikora having a private talk with her seeming as she knew anything amd everything about magic.

"What is it?" She asked you pulled down your colar revealing the mark as she frowned looking at it.

"Cayde has the exact same mark in the smae spot" you said as she frowned in thought.

"Why us?" You questioned.

"The light works in mysterious ways gaurdian but this? I do not know" she said as you sighed.

"Hey scary lady" you rolled your eyes at the Exo looking behind Ikora.

"Yes?" You answered.

"Yeah hey can i talk to you like over there somewhere i dont know anywhere yeah" he said as you sighed thanking Ikora before heading with the hunter. You placed a hand on your hip feeling energy surging through you because he was near.

"Ok so when we were killing fallen ya know whole flaming gun thing ok so get this when we did that right we used it for a long time alright seemed like we had no end of light but when im away i can use it for very small amount of time" he said moving his hands around as you sighed.

"The light or traveler whatever joined us in the light i dont know why" you sighed.

"Ok yeah i know that much but what do we do?" He questioned.

"I dont know Cayde" you huffed frowning when you beard a voice. The speaker arrived down the stairs walking towards you both.

"If i may, the traveler hasn't done this in centurys maybe longer it has chosen you both because you make each other stronger this bond is unexplainable to anyone even myself but it is a great gift" the speaker said as you looked at the floor in thought. Why though?

Years passed and no one had an exact answer no one you went to Mars, Venus, Titan nothing. It was frustrating not knowing what it meant but you couldnt stay away from the hunter. It hurt if you were gone for more then a month the mark began to start stinging he flew to you once confused but then it stopped and he dragged you back to the tower saying no more travels.

But then the collasp came you and Cayde fought side by side your powers stronger then anyones. But then the light was gone you fell to the ground first Cayde covering you as he knelt down besides you.

"Come on" he said as you shook your head your ghost had fallen also his light gone. He looked at you with worry his ghost falling also as the light left him. He almost collasped onto you as you used your strength to hold him up.

"What the hell" you muttered looking towards the traveler Cayde also looked before red legion crashed down. You both got up grabbing your ghosts and running inside hiding. You gripped Caydes arm as you both ran to Zavala. You got separated though red legion pushing you and civilians away. You fought them off trying to protect them before rushing them to the ship.

"CAYDE" you yelled no sign of him though.

"GET ON THAT SHIP GUARDIAN" Zavala yelled as you huffed getting on watching the ruined city.

It had been a week since the collasp the farm provided good coverage for now. There were no signs of the Vangaurds though a pit growing in your stomach.

A month now and the mark began to burn you were in a shed curled in on yourself it was getting worse.

"Cayde come on" the titan huffed.

"Why does it hurt so damn much" the hunter groaned Zavala needed to get him to you ASAP. You were sweating and panting as Hawthorne checked on you giving you water and food. She was called away quickly as you heard a ship you shook in your place on the hay to sore to move.

"Y/n" you froze hearing the sound of a certain titan.

"Got a drop off" Ikora said as the hunter stumbled in. You breathed in deeply the pain subsiding he gripped you tightly.

"I hate you so much" you muttered his light chuckle filling your ear.

"Hey i had to be carried by Mr. Big guy over here" he said a smile apearing on your face.

"Atleast your safe" you replied as he nodded. With Cayde back you were both ok your wounds healing as he was fixed. You spent nights withhim on top of the roof of the shed watching the stars. Unspoken feelings were already there you knew it in yourself though you never acted on them ever. It was hard enough.

You both turned to a sound like a calling you both turned to each other confused it was from the shard. He snuck out where as you went everyone knowing where you were heading. You rolled your eyes at the hunter going through the dark forest.

"I dont like this" you ghost muttered. You both made it to the shard as your ghost took a look making noises in delight.

"Aw hell" Cayde said before you both floated and emitted with light. You landed back on the ground powerful then ever as did the hunter.

"Whew im back baby" he said in triumph. You were confused but happy to have your light back.

"Oh man this is great" Cayde said excited as you turned around hearing a cry. You stood guard holding your gun as three wizards appeared chanting something. You cried in pain collasping to your knee's Cayde shot them away quickly going to your aid. You had black liquid running from your eyes as you gripped your hand.

"Guardian" your ghost asked as your eyes closed and darkness englufed you.

[eveningsinlondontearsmeapart]

My Savior

Type: One Shot | Imagine about Shawn M. Rating: Rated PG-13 (Violent Warning) Word Count: 2,713 Enjoy!

I could feel the cold of the road against my skin. My breathing was shaky, it was like I couldnt catch my breath. I closed my eyes for a split second, trying to figure out what was wrong. I looked up as the snow started to fall, I saw the man standing there. The knife in his hand was dripping blood, my blood to be exact. Once again I closed my eyes as I knew it would be easier if he attacked me again. I heard footsteps come near me, I tried my hardest not to move. If he thought I was died he couldnt do anymore to me. He used his foot to turn me over, I kept my eyes closed and I stopped breathing. I heard his footsteps walking away as I could hear the car in the distance. I pulled myself off the road, it was pitch black so the odds were against me. I could feel the blood running down my legs as I started to walk. I finally made it to where there were street lights, I was hoping someone would see me. At this point I was wondering if dying would be easier. I was getting weaker with each step but I knew I needed to keep going. I stopped to take a breather, leaning against a pole. I could hear a car coming to a stop and a door opening up.

"Are you ok?" he asked as he rushed over to me.

"Uh?" I was so out of it.

"Come on"  he wrapped his arm around me leading me to his car.

My knees got weak and I couldn't walk anymore. He picked me up placing me into his car, returning to the driver seat. I felt the warmth of the heat around me as I laid back against the seat. I slowly started to drift off and I guess I blacked out. I didn't remember getting to the hospital I just remember waking up there.

"Where am I" I looked around the room.

"You are in the hospital" the nurse said.

"Am I ok?" I asked.

"Yeah​, just need time to recover" she said.

"Thank you" I whispered.

"Don't thank me, you should thank the man who bought you in" she smiled slightly.

"Do you know where he is?" I looked at her.

"He said he would return later" she nodded slightly.  

"Ok" I laid my head back against the pillow.

I drifted off to sleep, I guess hours passed. I could hear his voice as he enter the room, I started to move slightly in the bed. I opened my eyes and saw him standing there. He was my savoir but I could admit he was the man of my dreams. Tall and dreamy, gentle but manly I could stare at him all day. I bite my lip as he looked over at me. I could see the smile grow on his face as he realized that I was ok.

"You are ok" he smiled as he sat down next to the bed.

"Thanks to you" I looked at him.

"I couldn't let someone die on the side of the street" he chuckled slightly.

"I guess not" I smiled slightly.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"As good as I can, I guess" I laid my head back.

"That's good, im glad that you are feeling better" he spoke softly.

"Thank you….Wait what is your name?" I asked.

"Sorry, my name is Shawn" he placed his hand against mine.

"Nice to meet you Shawn, Im Y/N" I responded.

"Beautiful name, better question is what happen?" he asked.

"Question to be answered at a later date" I looked at him.

I found myself staring into his eyes, losing track of what was going on. I finally looked away closing my eyes as I felt a sharp pain. I took a deep breath in, I knew I needed to get out of the hospital. He wrote down his number on a piece of paper, laying it on the night stand. He soon left since visiting hours was over. I waited for the nurse to leave the room before removing the iv. I pulled myself out of the bed slipping on my blood stained jeans. I tied the gown so it was kind of a shirt since my shirt had to be ripped from my body. I slipped my shoes on grabbing my phone and the piece of paper before making my exit.   I got into the elevator waiting for the door to close, That's when I got spotted.

"HEY" the nurse called out.

I kept hitting the button and thank god it closed before she got to it. I leaned against the wall as I calmed myself down, no one could take care of me the way I could. I finally got off the elevator and made my way out of the hospital. The sky was pitch black, but a streak of lightening lit up the sky. The road of thunder made me jump as I wasn't expecting it. The rain started to come down as the wind started to blow, it was a mixture of beauty but also danger. It was my type of scene, I started to walk down the street.

"Where are you going?" I heard someone asked.

"Home" I keep walking.

"You will catch a cold, get in please?" he said.

I turned around and I saw Shawn standing there. We were both getting soaking wet with the rain picking up. I looked up into his eyes, nothing else seemed to matter. Some how he took my mind off everything as well as the pain. I started to believe in love at first sight, but could he be my prince charming who came to rescue me? He moved closer to me putting his jacket over my head. He leads me back to his car, allowing me to get into it before getting in himself. The road was pitched black, all I could see was what the headlights hit. I leaned back in the seat as we went down the street. The rain started to pick up as the thunder rolled in. Streaks of lighten flashed brighting up the whole sky. All the lights were out in the city, he finally pulled up to a building. He disapeared into the night sky as he got out of the car. He opened the door, I jumped because I wasnt expecting it.

"Come on" he grabbed my hand helping me out of the car.

"Thank you" I said as I stayed close to him.

He opened the door allowing me to enter first. I heard the door close behind him, his hand still holding mine. I felt my way to the couch as he let me go, moving to the kitchen. He came back with a candle lit so we could actually see each other.

"I dont know how long the power will be out" he sat down next to me.

"I have no clue" I looked at him.

"You are safe here" he nodded slightly.

"Thank you for everything" I said.

"Its ok" he smiled slightly.

"Ill get out of your hair in the morning" I looked away quickly.

"I dont mind helping you" he titled my chin back towards him. "You are beautiful and deserve the world" he looked at me.

"I…" I got lost in his eyes once again.

He kept his hand on my chin, brushing his thumb against my chin. I leaned my forehead against his as our eyes were locked to each other. I took a deep breath in pulling away from him. I leaned back against the couch, just taking everything in. I couldn't believe that I was so close to death until he came and saved me. I didn't understand why he saved me or what the catch was. For some reason I felt safe with him, as if he would never hurt me. I closed my eyes as I started to drift off. The next thing I knew was the sun started to peek in the window. I shuffled in the sheets, but soon realized this wasn't where I fell asleep. I sat up on the bed looking around confused, I had no idea how I got into his bed. I eased myself out of the bed making my way downstairs. I found him in the kitchen cooking, I must admit it smelt good. I leaned against the door frame as I watched him cook.

"Is that for me?" I asked.

"Why yes, it is, " he chuckled slightly. "How did you sleep?" he asked.

"Fine, just don't know how I got into your bed" I admitted.

"I carried you upstairs, " he nodded slightly.

"Oh ok" I smiled slightly as I took a seat at the table.

He put the plate in front of me before moving back to the stove. He grabbed two bottles of waters as well as his plate before sitting down. We started to talk while we ate, it was like I knew him forever. I've never met someone that made me feel so comfortable, and was easy to talk to. I finished eating so I got up putting my plate in the sink. He moved behind me reaching to the sink, his arm around me. I took a deep breath as I felt his body close to mine.

"You are going to wash dishes?" he slides his hands down my arms.

"Maybe, " I bite my lip slightly.

He guide my hands over the dishes, I slightly tighten the grip. I leaned back against him as he rested his head against my shoulder. I smiled to myself as we washed the dishes. He soon to pull away as we finished with the dishes, I returned back to my seat. He sat down across from me, for a second it was quiet.

"Can I ask you something?" he broke the silence.

"Sure" I nodded slightly.

"Why would someone want to hurt you?" he asked.

"It's complicated" I looked down, not really wanting to answer the question.

"We don't have to talk about it, " he got up kneeling in front of me. He placed his hand against my chin titling it up slightly. "You are safe, " he whispered.

"Thank you, " I looked into his eyes.

"I believe in destiny, it was faith that we meet, " he smiled slightly.

"Yeah Shawn" I smiled.

He brushed his thumb against my chin as we locked eyes again. I soon closed my eyes as I felt a sharp pain, I gripped my leg. He helped me upstairs, taking my pants off so we could clean the staplers. Over the next few weeks I stayed with Shawn, not because I didn't have a place but because it was fun. I finally got my staplers out and got the clear to do whatever I wanted to do. Shawn was such an amazing person, I didn't know how I got so lucky but I was glad I did.

"Hey" he smiled as he came into the room.

"Hey, " I looked at him as he sat down behind me, wrapping his arms around me.

"What are you doing?" he questioned.

"Just checking a few things" I leaned back against him.

"So you want to go ice skating tonight?" he kissed my cheek.

"Sure" I laughed slightly.

"Do you know how?" he asked.

"No, " I played with his hand.

"I'll show you, " he whispered into my ear.

"Sounds good, " I said.

"So it's a date, " he said as he stood up from the bed.

"A date?" I smiled.

"Yeah a date, " he leaned over to kiss me softly.

I left his apartment making my way back to mine. I took a quick shower before putting on a pair of jeans. I tried to dress as warm as I possibly could since I knew it was going to be outside. Plus, it was ice skating so it was going to be cold. I laced up my snow boots as I heard a knock on the door. I ran downstairs opening the door so Shawn could come in. He walked in sitting on the couch as I went back stairs. I finally finished getting ready and we were on our way downtown. The nerves started to kick in as we pulled up to the place. I took a deep breath in as he got out of the car. Opening my car door holding out his hand for mine. I grabbed his hand and got out of the car, I followed him to the ice rink. He got out skates as I sat down on the bench, of course he helped me get my skates on. He sat down next to me putting his skates on, I smiled as I watched him. I stood up with his help, we both walked towards the ice. He got onto the ice first, guiding me onto it. He placed his hands on my hips as he started to skate backwards.

"Don't let me fall" I held onto his shoulders.

"I got you" he smiled.

"Good" I smiled as I started to move with him.

He kept his promise and never let me fall. We finally got off the ice and I sat on the bench as he took our skates back. He came back to me grabbing my hand as we started to walk back to the car. He opened the door for me, making sure it was closed as soon as I got into the car. He made his way to the drive side and we were off again. I played with his hand as he drove, with each red light he would lean over kissing my cheek. I couldn't help but smile, I turned on the radio as we both started to sing at the top of our lungs. He pulled into a restaurant parking lot turning the car off. I undid my seatbelt but he grabbed my hand pulling me closer. Placing his hand on my chin, his lips pressed against mine. I smiled against his lips before kissing him back. I placed my hand on his chest as I kept the kiss between us. I soon pulled away resting my forehead against his, I could see the smile grow on his lips. He moved away from me as he got out of the car. This time I beat him to it and got out before he could open the door. I grabbed his hand intertwining our fingers together as we walked into the restaurant.

"What are you getting?" I asked as I looked over the menu.

"Probably pizza" he chuckled slightly.

"Can we share?" I asked.

"Of course, if you bring your ass over here" He said.

"Oh, I didn't know you wanted me to sit next to me" I got up moving to sit next to him. He placed his arm around my shoulder, holding me close to him,

"I always want you close to me, I have a question, " he looked at me.

"Go for it" I nodded as I played with his hand.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked.

"You want a relationship?" I looked at him.

"Yes, I do, with you, " he kissed my forehead.

"I would love that" I leaned up, kissed him softly.

We finally ordered our food and drinks. I stayed close to him as we started to talk, but once the food arrived it got quiet. I would look at him from time to time, realizing how lucky I was. It was official I got to call him mine and boy was I happy about that. We finished eating, he got up to pay the bill. I took a few more sips from my drink as I waited. I saw someone walk through the door, I froze once I realized who it was.

"You're still alive" the guy said.

"Ready babe?" Shawn said as he grabbed my hand.

"I'll fix that" the guy said as he pulled out a gun, pointing it directly towards me. I swallowed hard as I closed my eyes, I knew things had finally come to an end.

[anoldwound]

And My Wasted Heart Will Love You - Kurt/Finn [Glee]

Title:

And My Wasted Heart Will Love You

Characters/Pairings:

Kurt/Finn

Rating:

PG-13

Spoilers/Warnings:

Some slight sexual content

Word Count:

~3000

Summary:

I'm supposed to be trying to get over him, and instead I invite him over to my house for an imaginary party. Oh, God... what am I going to

wear

?!

A/N:

I have no clue if I got these characters right, but I gave it a shot. Kurt was absolutely, positively certain that he was going to be alone for the rest of his life. Call it Drama Queen Syndrome if you want, but it was still true, and he was in the mood for sitting around his room moping and feeling sorry for himself. He absently stabbed his desk with the pencil he was supposed to be doing his Algebra homework with as Joni Mitchell played in the background, and he thought about Finn's smile and his eyes and the way they would look at him sometimes, inspiring a small germ of hope inside his chest, only to be quashed the instant he remembered that Finn loved Quinn and not him – and would never love him, ever. Unless he was secretly bisexual. He could at least be a little bi-curious, right? Right?

No, he isn't,

Kurt angrily told himself, focusing his attention back to the imaginary numbers equation he was supposed to be doing. Imaginary numbers. Imaginary, like the entire fantasy world he had constructed around –

STOP IT.

Oh, God. He was so, so pathetic. His forehead hit his desk with a light thud. How was he supposed to concentrate on anything when his life was so... so

sad

? “Kurt?” The door cracked open slightly. Kurt looked up to see his dad peeking through the doorway at him. “Dinner's ready.” He gave a heavy sigh. “I'll be right out...” “Why is your room so dark? Is everything all right?” “No. But I don't want to talk about it.” A pause. “Okay.” The slit of light from the hallway disappeared, and Kurt sighed again. He switched off the lone desk lamp that illuminated his stupid homework that was utterly pointless, just like his pointless life and his pointless love for Finn. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to breathe in anything he could from the air around him, like some kind of courage, courage to get over Finn, courage to find something else to occupy his thoughts with, instead of this ceaseless aching in his heart. He remembered one time at football practice, as he forced himself to stare at his feet in the locker room instead of the men in various states of undress around him. He curled his toes and tapped his feet together three times. You could see some of the veins around his ankles. His eyes flicked over to the feet next to his, Finn's feet, pale like his but bigger. You could see the veins around his ankles as well, only they were not as delicate as his own. He idly wondered if he ought to suggest he and Finn go to a tanning booth together as Finn grabbed a dirty white sock and yanked it on. “Finn,” he said, jerking his head up. Finn looked over. “Yeah, what's up?”

Oh God, he's not wearing a shirt.

He felt a blush creep up his neck, which he began scratching nervously. “We're really pale.” He stared. “Um... yeah, I guess so.” “I hear there's a new tanning salon in the town center... do you wanna go there with me sometime?”

Oh my God, why am I asking him this, why in the world would he want to go to a tanning booth, what is wrong with me, oh my God why is he still not wearing a shirt?!

“Well... I mean, I guess it sounds... uh... well, you have fun.” He patted him on the shoulder and stood up, drying his hair with the towel as he walked away. Kurt gazed forlornly after him and wished that there was a way to travel back in time so you could kick your own ass before you said idiotic things to the man you were desperately in love with. Presently, Kurt picked his head up off of his desk and splayed his hands on top of his worksheet. Perfectly manicured nails, soft, white skin, the black cuffs of his new Calvin Klein top perfectly folded into neat triangles. Always impeccably dressed, with flawlessly coiffed hair, the height of fashion and fabulousness – why did nobody love him the way he wanted to be loved? He wasn't ever going to find anyone. He was always going to fall for the unattainable straight guy, and that was that. “Kurt! Your dinner's gonna get cold!” “I'm coming, I'm coming!” he yelled back. The smell of Chinese food wafted through the air as he opened the door, and it reminded him of Finn for no reason other than everything reminded him of Finn. *** The bell rang for second period and Kurt's feet were taking him to the hallway where Finn's locker was located, even though it was nowhere near his next class. Finn always went to his locker before second period to get his science textbook, and normally Kurt would feel like a stalker for knowing this but he had found that out completely by accident one day, so whatever. His heels clacked against the linoleum, and his heart began racing when he saw Finn coming down the opposite end of the hallway. Finn looked distracted, and headed immediately to his locker, hands fumbling at the lock. Kurt's heart was practically thumping in his stomach as he got closer (why did he always have this reaction, he saw Finn almost every single day, God he was such a mess), and he took a shuddering breath before he said, “Hello, Finn.” “Hey,” Finn mumbled, not looking at him. He finally got his locker open and grabbed his textbook. “How's it hanging?” “Fine, thank you.” Kurt gripped the strap of his satchel tightly. “Yourself?” “Not great.” He slammed his locker shut. “Quinn's acting weird again.” He hesitated, then turned to face him. “You wouldn't happen to know more about this pregnancy hormone stuff than I do, would you?” “Sorry. Can't help you there.” He smiled. “Maybe you should look it up on Google or something. The World Wide Webs.”

The World Wide Webs? What?

“I did. I still don't really get it, though,” Finn said, breaking eye contact. They stood there in silence for a few more seconds, Kurt drinking in Finn's face while Finn stood there uncomfortably. Finally Finn said, “Well, I should head to class now, I guess.” “Yeah. Have fun.” Kurt stood rooted to the spot as Finn brushed past him. He felt his chest constrict with pain and the smile faded from his face. On an impulse, he spun around and cried, “Wait!” Finn stopped in his tracks and turned around. “Yeah?” “Um – ”

crap gotta think of something

" – there's gonna be a little get-together at my house tonight. For Glee. Pump us up before sectionals. Do you wanna come?” Finn grinned. “Yeah, sure! Sounds awesome.” “Great! I'll see you at five tonight.” “See ya!” He waved and continued along his way. Kurt's grin froze like his teeth were simply clenching.

Oh Dear Lord.

There were, of course, no actual plans for a get-together. What on earth was he going to

do

?

I'm supposed to be trying to get over him

, he lectured himself in Algebra a few minutes later, as the teacher went over the homework he had never managed to finish.

And instead I invite him over to my house for an imaginary party. Oh, God... what am I going to

wear

?!

Kurt waited until the teacher's back was turned, then discreetly pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and began to text Mercedes.

Mercedes u need to come ovr 2 my house 2night wat y bcuz I told finn there was gonna b a prty but there isnt boi wat iz tha matta wit u idk but u have to come or im screwd cant i have planz but lemme txt tina k thnx

He flipped his phone closed and exhaled slowly. It was going to be okay.

Somebody

had to be free tonight, right? *** Nobody was free that night. Kurt laid down on his bed at 4:45 pm, his face smothered with the silk shirts and black pants spread out across his duvet. What was he going to

do

? It was going to look like he set this up on purpose. He was even wishing that Finn was bringing Quinn, although he probably wasn't, since she had left rehearsal early because she wasn't feeling well.

Oh, God. Okay, do NOT have a panic attack.

He sat up straight and smoothed his hair.

This is completely manageable. Just tell him the truth – that everyone was busy and that it's just me and him, and he can leave if he wants. Okay? Okay.

First, though, there was the urgent matter of his ensemble. After selecting the appropriate outfit (his Alexander McQueen sweater and some nice, form-fitting tuxedo pants by Oscar de la Renta), the doorbell rang. “I'll get it!” he yelled, and ran upstairs to answer the door. Just before opening it he took a deep breath and pulled down his shirt. “Hello,” he said, smiling up at Finn, who was alone. “Hey.” He looked inside. “Where is everybody?” “They were all busy,” Kurt said, tucking his hair behind his ear. “Jerks, the lot of them!” He chuckled faintly. “So... it's just you and me?” He looked wary. “Yeah. But you can just leave if you want; it's fine,” Kurt said hastily. “I'll reschedule. No biggie.” He waved his hand around like a buffoon and promptly wanted to commit suicide. “Eh...” Finn shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked his feet back and forth. “I guess I can stay for a little while. I don't have anything else to do.” Kurt's heart leaped. “Well... okay, then!” He stepped aside. “C'mon in!” “That sucks that everyone just canceled on you,” Finn said as he entered. “Well, to be fair, I only came up with the idea last night.” Kurt shut the door closed. “I shouldn't have expected that everyone could make it on such short notice.” “Ah.” Suddenly, Kurt's dad came out from his bedroom. “Hey Kurt, what's – ” He froze as he caught sight of Finn. “...Hello.” “Dad! This is Finn Hudson. You remember him?” He stared at Finn almost suspiciously. “Yeah. You're the quarterback, right?” Finn nodded. “He's also in Glee, Dad.” His dad's eyes slipped over to his. “What's he doing here?” “T-there was gonna be a party. For Glee. But no one else could come.” Kurt gave him as much of a “BACK OFF” look as he could without Finn noticing. “Huh.” He looked back at Finn. “You're the guy with the pregnant girlfriend?” “...Yes?” “Hmmph.” He looked him up and down, then said to Kurt, “Keep the door open, okay?” “

Dad!

”

Oh my God I am going to KILL HIM.

“It's not

like that

.” “Yeah, well...” He scratched his head and turned back in the direction of his room. “I'm gonna... go now...” He took one last look at Finn, then at Kurt, before he went back in his room and closed the door. “Oh my God, I am

so

sorry,” Kurt immediately apologized. Finn put a hand up. “Don't be. It's all right. Parents are weird and embarrassing. It's like a law of nature.” “Thanks.” He tucked his hair behind his ear again. “So, what do you wanna do?” He thought for a few seconds, then exclaimed, “Oh, dude! There's this hilarious YouTube video you have to check out! C'mon!” Finn grabbed Kurt's arm and started heading down the hallway. Kurt felt his skin go prickly and warm and cold all at the same time. “Wait... where's your room?” “You're heading in the right direction, don't worry.”

He's going to be in my room. Where my bed is. Fffffff –

“Oh, okay.” He let go of Kurt's arm and they went downstairs. Finn sat at Kurt's desk and clicked on Firefox. “I saw this yesterday and I just about died laughing. I think you'll like it.” “I can't wait.” Kurt dragged another chair over and crossed his legs. He was so close to Finn he could smell his aftershave. Finn eagerly went onto YouTube and found the video. “Here it is. You're gonna laugh, I promise.” Finn was right; Kurt was laughing so hard his stomach hurt. Finn was laughing as well, and they collided into each other several times as they rocked back and forth in their chairs and sang along, and Kurt would've sworn that Finn was doing it on purpose if he didn't know any better. Once the video was over, Kurt said, “I think we have an inside joke for life now – 'I'm a little man, and I'm also evil, also into cats'.” Finn chortled. “Nobody's gonna get it. It'll be awesome.” They both giggled, but the laughter faded away until they were simply staring at each other. For once, Finn didn't look away. “What should we do now?” Finn asked. “Well... any more absurdly funny YouTube videos?” He felt his heart go

thump thump thump

. “None that I can think of.” He finally averted his gaze. “Have any good movies? Or maybe I should leave.” “Why?” he asked quietly. “I dunno. Maybe I'm intruding.” “You're not intruding,” Kurt whispered.

What am I doing? This can't possibly end well. Snap out of it, Kurt Hummel.

“Um...” Finn shifted in his seat. “Okay. S-so... what movies do you have?” He abruptly stood up and inched away. “I have lots of movies. Depends on what you're in the mood for. Drama, comedy... romance...”

Seriously, what am I doing?! Stop making sad attempts to flirt! Jesus Christ.

“A comedy sounds good.” He looked decidedly nervous. Kurt tried to compose himself. “Great! The DVD rack is over there.” He pointed at the rack next to his TV. Finn picked up one of the DVDs and smirked. “Spider-Man.” “I don't believe that falls into the realm of 'comedy', but feel free to put it in anyway.” Kurt propped his feet up on Finn's vacated seat. His feet tingled. “I wouldn't think you'd like this kind of movie.” “Spider-Man is Spider-Man. Also, James Franco is ridiculously hot.” Finn laughed and put the DVD in, then sat awkwardly on the edge of Kurt's bed. Kurt felt himself begin to get... well,

excited

, so he took his feet off the chair and crossed his legs again.

The Holocaust. The time you found Dad's porn stash in the linen closet. Maggots. Lots and lots of maggots.

After a minute or so of that he calmed down and watched the movie with Finn, valiantly fighting the strong urge to jump on his bed and pin Finn down and start making out with him. They were about twenty minutes into the movie when Finn said, “Listen, Kurt – ” His breath caught in his throat. “Yes?” “We're... we're friends, right?” “I like to think so.” “Then – can I be honest with you?”

Oh, boy. Here it comes. Rejection City.

“Absolutely.” He braced himself. Finn cleared his throat. “I'm sure I'm gonna seem completely full of myself when I say this, but – I keep getting the feeling lately that, like, you have this... this thing for me? Or something? I'm probably just reading too much into it. I don't want to sound like one of those guys who thinks all gay dudes are in love with him or something, I just – yeah.” Kurt found himself almost unable to form coherent syllables. “Yeah – well – sure, I could understand where you, uh, may have gotten that, um, impression.” “Really? So there's nothing to it, then?” This was it. The moment of truth. Was he going to chicken out and say no, or was he going to admit it? Finn looked at him expectantly. “Well...?” Kurt took a deep breath. “It's... true.” He blinked. “Oh.” “Yes. I do sort of... have a... thing for you.” He felt like he was going to throw up. Every inch of him was trembling. “I'm sorry.” “Don't apologize, Kurt,” Finn said. He looked sad. “

I'm

the one who should be sorry. You deserve better than to be into

me

.” “You shouldn't sell yourself short like that, Finn.” “That's not what I meant. What I meant was...” He walked over and sat in the chair next to Kurt. “You deserve to like someone who can, you know... feel the same way towards you.” Kurt said nothing. Every molecule in his body felt like it was just dowsed in ice cold water. “I'm really sorry, man.” Finn bit his lip. “We're still friends though, right? I still think you're really awesome. And you're gonna find a... a great guy someday, and you're gonna be happy.” Kurt half-smiled. “I hope so, at least.” He smiled back. “You will.” He looked down at the floor and rubbed his neck. “Do you want me to leave now?” Kurt was silent for a moment, then said, “No. It's fine. Let's keep watching the movie.” “Okay. Cool.” Finn patted him on the knee and turned to face the television. Kurt bit back the screams of humiliation in his head and turned to the TV as well, feeling his heart break into a million tiny pieces.

What are you so upset about? You knew this was coming,

he thought.

Yes, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

He stared numbly at the television, his hand resting where Finn's hand had just touched him, and they watched Spider-Man together, and that was that. And that was all it was ever going to be.