#also pyre's tattoo says eat your heart out

[vampiiirez]

more on my killjoy gang!! semi-finalized outfits :) thank you for all the love! y'all will definitely be seeing more of these nerds

[gryphonablaze]

hello and welcome to gryphon’s crackshit crossover corner

I’ve already talked about my theory that httyd is set in the very distant, post-apocalyptic future. that theory was originally inspired by ‘what if httyd and horizon zero dawn crossover?’ My brain said things and for some fuckforsaken reason I listened. 

TL:DR I can smash together a crossover of so many different fandoms and media. It’s stupid. I’m crazy. I love it. This is what ADHD makes me think about when I zone out 

Anyway, first thing; the portal games could cross over with virtually anything. Portal-lands (borderlands). Portal age of wonderbeasts. How to Portal Your Dragon. Portal and the Princesses of Power. Portal: Zero Dawn. Portalverwatch. Portales of Arcadia. Fuck, if I really wanted, I could make the portal series crossover with Star Wars. This is because the time gap between portal one and two is spectacularly, deliciously difficult to pinpoint. If I shuffle it around, I could align the times during which action and dramatic events occur to line up with Chell finally escaping the facility. She walks through the wheat field and immediately encounters a megabunny, or a herd of grazers and striders. Or she trips on a rusted null sector carcass. Or her first night on the surface she’s staring at the moon and the star-filled sky, until she hears a slowly mounting screech and a flash of lightning. Or after a couple days she encounters a migration of creatures with stone skin, because they’re going to New Jersey and wanted to stop in Michigan to visit the great lakes, I guess. Or a couple weeks in to her new life, there’s a bright flash in the sky, and now she’s glowing? And has weird glowing tattoos on her arm? And can set things on fire? Or a year or two after she escapes, a spaceship? touches down? and out comes a catgirl, a lady with prehensile hair, a weird tall white guy, but not, like, a typical white guy, his skin is literally snow white, and someone who appears to be (???) normally human????? With portal, anything is possible. Bonus points that technically any and all fanfiction, AUs, the like etc. of portal are canon, thanks to cave literally reaching through the multiverse, thereby making all of those alternative realities possible. 

So if I wanted, I could stick portal in anything. Like how salt can be used in virtually every cuisine. 

But oh, my dear brain did not stop there. This is a crackshit crossover corner, after all.  If I fuck around enough, I could frankenstein together almost all of these. The events in HZD take place approximately one thousand years after the apocalypse, which occurred mid-2000s. As in 2050s-60s, not 2005. Kipo Age of Wonderbeasts takes place about 200 years after their mutepocalypse (also it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that ‘mute’ was shortened from ‘mutants’ and has nothing to do with their ability to speak), and we’re not sure when that happened. We could hazard a guess that Gaia was able to rebuild the world and some of humanity after Faro’s fuckup, but maybe went a liiiiiiiittle too far with the Artemis sub-probgram, and the mutepocalypse happens almost immediately. Oopsies. World goes on for 200 years post mutepocalypse, events of the series of Kipo Age of Wonderbeasts occur. Anknown amount of years later Hades decide’s that’s enough and wipes Gaia’s slate clean for her to start over again. She gives it another shot, but this time limits the amount of historical information that she gave to the humans that she released. Might’ve been a bit inaccurate, because do you know just how much human media insisted that vikings had horned helmets? (Could also explain why somehow Tuffnut knows some spanish). Whatever. This time she tries dragons. Things are actually going pretty well for a couple hundred years, Gaia always thought the ancient mythological tales of winged fire-breathers were cool, why not try it out? Until--are you kidding? The dragons disappear to hide underground? From the humans? Seriously? Wow. Wooooow. All that effort, wasted. Hades decides it’s time to try again. This time? Screw it. Robot megafauna. Hades can’t eat that. Around half a millenia later, Hades gains sentience, goes about trying to commit genocide, events of the HZD game occur. For fanfic funsies, Chell could wake up literally any time in there, because why not add another layer? These all coexist in the same space-time. Same universe, same timeline, but unfortunately not at the same time. Oof. -----> This crackshit combines Horizon Zero Dawn, Kipo Age of Wonderbeasts, and How to Train Your Dragon. (*portal optional)

Or how about somehow, some way, the whole prehistoric ‘peopling of the earth’ (deadass the name of a textbook chapter) was more like accidental colonization of the earth? The rest of the six galaxies moved on and kind of forgot about them, so Borderlands doesn’t necessarily have to be in the distant future of earth’s timeline. Some millenia ago, the Destroyer was going around, doing its thing. The Eridians didn’t like that, so they found a planet with natural capabilities they could take advantage of, asked some sirens for help, and turned it into a superweapon. After all, as typhon says, most Eridian things run on crystals. And sirens’ powers are often elemental--who’s to say the runestones on Etheria aren’t their collaborative work? Along the way they probably make an enemy because of course they do, so why not give the Heart a test run @ Horde Prime? Until Mara rebels, and yeets Etheria and its moons (and presumably star) into Despondos. Well, fuck. Horde Prime mentions ‘one thousand years’ of waiting, but when traveling through space, time can get fucky. Anyway, Now they have to come up with an alternative way to eliminate the Destroyer. It might take a few millenia of hopping around, leaving their mark on various planets, but eventually they come up with the idea of creating a cage, creating pandora... After all, the architecture of the First One’s ruins in SPOP and the various Eridian Ruins in the borderlands series aren’t super different. It’s reasonably possible that their stylistic design choices changed over time--whose hasn’t? Gothic architecture wasn’t hanging around from the dawn of human time. Anyway, we know that since they began building Pandora, the Eridians knew what it would entail. So when Nyriad killed them to power the Machine in the Pyre of the Stars, it’s not like they hadn’t prepared to die. The guardians, their own creations, have heath bars made entirely of shields, implying that they are beings not of flesh but of energy. And who wouldn’t want to at least attempt to preserve their culture, at least a shred of it? Many statues that are presumably in the Eridian’s likeness have only two arms, but some have more. And what energy-based lifeforms (from tales of arcadia) have a majority population with two arms, but a select special few with four? What is their planet called? AkiRIDIAN 5. It is implied that not even Nekrotafeyo, the Eridian’s home planet, is technically the place of their origination, so it’s not all that out of the question for them to make (and possibly fail at) a couple of planets they could put their extra-sentient lifeforms on. ‘Alright, We are called Eridians. This is the fifth planet we made for you. Have fun, we have to go die.’ How often is history not warped by time? Particularly the pronunciation of things? And of course if they’re starting over with a completely new place and no template to work off of, the architecture they come up with is not at al likely to resemble that of their progenitors. Also note that Luug and other Akiridian creatures seen, like those weird ass energy bugs, look fucking weird. You know what else looks fucking weird? The fauna of Nekrotafeyo. In this version, Mara’s story in She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is the very distant early history of the Eridians, before even Nyriad, who is presumed to be very long-lived. The ancient history that the Eridians themselves left behind is in turn the prehistory of the people of Akiridian 5. And again, if u want, portal. That said, the end of SPOP S5, the end of BL3 (currently the latest borderlands game), and the end of the Tales of Arcadia series could not only exist in the same spacetime, but also at the same time. ---->This crackshit combines She ra, Borderlands, and Tales of Arcadia. (*portal optional)

[youngster-monster]

Read on AO3

Captain Garithos tells him he'll be dead by daylight, so Kael'thas sneaks out in the middle of the night with the barge they use when they can't reach the shore with the ship.

(The only light then is that of the full moon above and the fire reflected on the waves. When he looks back — one last time, he tells himself — the Quel'thalas is slowly sinking into the depths, a burning wreck more like a funeral pyre than a ship.)

They're in the middle of nowhere, with no land in sight and only the full moon's light to see where he's going; which, as far as Kael'thas is concerned, is nowhere except 'far away from here'. He will probably die at large, with no water and no food, but at least he'll die on his own terms.

Kael'thas rows for what feels like hours, to the point of exhaustion and then beyond, but when he finally collapses the only things that's changed is that he can't see the burning wreck of his ship anymore.

(Not his, not really — his father's, but his father burned with the ship, and can a shipwreck really belongs to anyone but those who drowned with it?)

He lays on his back, panting and aching, looking at the stars until the world stops spinning, and then because they're the only thing worth looking at around there. Kael'thas is a scholar, not a sailor: he's weak, he gets seasick easily and he despises fish. Of course his first travel by ship would also be his last: that's how averse to ships he is.

He wishes things could have gone differently, but nothing can prevent pirates.

Waves lick his fingertips as his left hand hangs limply out of the barge. The water is close to freezing. He'd just have to roll to the side, let himself fall under— it'd be a quick death. He'd drown without realizing it, numb and half-asleep because of the cold, or maybe something would swim from the abyss to eat an easy meal, and then he'd be gone in a flash of teeth. It'd be almost painless.

His boat gently rocks in the current and Kael'thas frowns. The water almost feels warmer under his fingers — no, it is.

He painfully lifts himself on his elbows and dips his other hand in the water. It's starting to feel outright hot, now, and Kael'thas thinks: that's it. I've lost my mind already.

And then the darkness fills with a distant, green glow, and he thinks, that might be even worse.

(Kael'thas has been raised among sailors — he knows the tales. Green lights and half-human bodies, coming out of the depths under the full moon to scavenge shipwreck like abyssal carrion birds. He never believed them, but there is a first time for everything and what's one more on this night?)

He starts to see shapes underwater, shadows cut like humans and moving like gigantic fish. A dark, shredded fin brushes the surface, inches from his still-submerged hand, and Kael'thas throws himself backward. His sudden movement rocks the boat harder but the only panic he feels is turned toward the things circling the barge like a monstrous school of sharks. He thinks he hears nails scrapping against the bottom of the boat and he freezes in fear, wide eyes strained forward.

The air smells like salt and sulfur.

The glow is stronger now, surrounding his small embarkation and drowning the moonlight that, just before, was making the sea silver.

(They don't sing. Those are not that kind of sea creatures. He wishes they were.)

Thing is: Kael'thas is as much an idiot as he is a sailor. He knows no one has ever seen one of those things and lived to tell the tale — the stories are always second-hand from far-away, half-drunk sightings, because whoever looks into the abyss gets dragged into it in return.

But Kael'thas is going to die either way: he has nothing to lost — apart from his soul, perhaps.

He moves slowly so as to keep the boat as still as possible and, hands leaning at the edge of it, he looks down.

The sea glows a dark, eerie green, and two shining eyes meet his under the surface.

Kael'thas once again throws himself backward, heart hammering in his chest, but his hands stay where they are. There is definitely something there.

Again, he bends forward and looks into the water. The eyes are still there, watching him — in the dark, he can just barely make out the lines of an almost-human face. And then he notices other eyes, blinking open next to the first pair as more creatures approach. They are the only thing he can see, that and glimpses of glowing lines somewhere where he thinks their bodies are — bio-luminescent markings, maybe?

The creatures don't make a move to jump at him or anything like that. They just stare. But so does he, so fair is fair.

And then, as suddenly as they came, they disperse. The light remains but it dims ever-so-slightly, as if they had been spooked by something and had dived deeper. And what, he wonders, could scare off such things?

A bigger specimen of said things, apparently.

He doesn't notice it at first, because the glow is already everywhere and his eyes can't quite discern whether it's brighter or not at this point. It's just— there, weird and otherworldly. But then he sees the movement, a shadow that obscures some of the light and casts some itself, and at first glance it's at least eight foot long, it's the kind of shadows that eats sharks for breakfast.

Kael'thas is a quick study, though. He's already learned not to fear death in the last hour, so he stays exactly where he is and watches it circle around his boat. He does, however,  leans back when two hands emerges and take hold next to his — the creature has webbed, clawed fingers, he notices distantly as the aforementioned claws digs into the wood of his barge.

And then the boat dips, and he scrambles backward (to get away or avoid falling off he's not sure) as the thing hoists itself out of the water.

It is, Kael'thas notices, more human than he expected it to be. There are many differences, of course: its skin is a deep purple, eyes burning green in their sockets, with gills on the side of its neck and long, pointed ears, but its face is rather similar to Kael'thas's and it even has hair, like an inky-black curtain falling over its muscular shoulders. Its chest is covered in scars and glowing, tattoo-like marks.

It is, also, most probably male and kind of attractive in a very strange way, and Kael'thas kind of wants to drown himself at the thought. This is not the time for your weird tastes, he tells himself and very carefully doesn't move an inch.

The creature settles at the edge of the boat, arms crossed over the border and his head resting on them, without ever moving its (his?) eyes from Kael'thas's face. Kael'thas notes the fin on his back, the skin connecting his arms to his sides like weird wings or, maybe, really weird flippers, and also the incredible sharpness of his teeth when he notices Kael'thas looking at him. Kael'thas looks away quickly.

He doesn't speak, only stares from between heavy strands of black hair. Kael'thas wants to fidget but he stays very, very still and keeps his gaze somewhere around the creature's forehead, because he's not rude but he's not really eager to maintain eye contact either.

Whatever the thing sees must satisfy him, because he huffs in a somewhat-approving manner and dives back underwater. Kael'thas waits for his pulse to calm and then moves back to the edge to look down, where the light has yet to disappear.

The creature is looking at him. Slowly, deliberately, it smiles. There are claw marks on the wood; Kael'thas feels them under his fingers, digging shards into his skin.

“Oh, and why not?” He says out loud, mostly to himself but a little to the thing waiting for him too, and then he lets himself falls forward.

–

Kael'thas wakes up as sunlight warms his back. He's sprawled on a beach, with waves coming up his legs with the rising tide. There's sand absolutely everywhere, from his mouth to the inside of his drenched boots, and everything tastes like seawater and copper — blood, and when he licks his lips he feels a cut crossing them. It already healed into a clean scar, however.

He staggers to his feet. He is discovering places in his body that he didn't know existed, let alone could hurt, and has the singular impression that he drowned for a lot more time than is recommendable for someone who enjoys breathing air to survive.

All he remembers are arms holding him and the taste of brimstone and ashes on his tongue. He doesn't dwell on it.

Alive and more surprised than elated about it, Kael'thas shakes the worst of the sand off and swears on his life he'll never get on a ship again.

(Do you know what they say about the creatures under the sea? Oh, they say many things, sure. They say they are cursed, they say they guard the surface from the demons of the abyss and feeds on the souls of mortals, that they're guardians or monsters or beasts, the tales are never certain.

Here's something that never changes: they say making a deal with them is selling your soul, and that they always come to collect.

Kael'thas knows he'll find his way back to them one day, back to the sea and the darkness of the uncaring ocean. He knows it like he knows his own name, like it's written in his ribs, above his heart, burned there by two lips on his own and words in a language he doesn't know but understand anyway, whispered against his ear. Kael'thas knows it like he knows that, when the time comes, he'll drowns willingly, and then he'll become one of them.

It's a brighter future than he had last morning.)

[aspidities]

Septhusana

There is a land, far beyond this bed, this room, and this house, my child.

Far beyond skies blue, and skies red as heart’s blood. It is a land of never-ending, whispering grass, thick as a man, with golden scimitar flowers that weep overhead, six stories tall. It is a land of great hairy, savage manticores, and trifold sphynx that lurk in the hollows where water collects in shallow pools. It is also a land of thundering oliphants, tall enough to eat the scimitar flower, and they are tamed and ridden by the people of the Ni Septh, the tribe of the Grey Skinned God.

In this tribe there was but one ruler, Septhusana, the warrior queen. When Septhusana was younger, she had three older brothers, each one wiser, more skilled, and more cunning than the last. Each of these brothers went into the grasses to prove their worth against the trials of the Grey Skinned God, but none proved worthy. The first stumbled back into the clearing, his hair bleached white, his golden skin sagging with scars and age, and he would do nothing but cry for his lost love, who had drowned in a summer flood. The second returned hale and healthy, and the tribe celebrated, but in time his eyes became thick black spirals, pools of never-ending hate and obliteration, and the tribe scattered in the wake of his wroth.

The third was the youngest, and he was the wisest of all, and he was Septhusana’s favorite. He did not go into the great grass, but instead used his cunning to create a reed-grass ladder, and with it scaled the tops of the scimitar flower. He chose to live there, high above the needs of his people but away from the madness that he feared in the grass, and his lover, a lion-headed man who could create fire in his palms, went with him. Their lives were happy and quiet, but many in the tribe cursed him for abandoning his destiny, if madness was indeed his fate. Septhusana did not blame him, but she did not follow his path either.

Septhusana was the last of her line. Her father was dead, and though his pyre burned on in the night fires, there was no one to lead the Ni Septh, no one save the youngest child, with eyes like a storm on a black sun day. She was small, and her name meant ‘least of us’ for she was born half the size of her brothers. She grew, though, and she was quick, with nimble fingers, and though her brothers were already wise, Septhusana was always learning.

She went into the grass willingly, and with her, the hopes of her people.

In the grass, Septhusana saw many things. A wild hart, black as night. A golden eye that spoke without a mouth. A weeping woman, her hands tangled in reeds. A pleasant, smiling man who spoke in riddles while his hands seeped with blood. A manticore with her brother’s face, the youngest, grinning with her head between his teeth. A grey wisp, coiled around the tusk of an oliphant, ancient and rheumy-eyed, with a hundred warriors armbands dangling from the ivory.

When she camped, at night the fire would sway and sing, and the animals she hunted turned to smoke in her hands when she tried to cook them on the spit. There was much in her that wanted to rage, to tear great stalks of grass from the ground and spread the fire until the charred remains gave her a path back to her people, but she did not. She held firm, and rationed her meager supplies, drinking and eating only when she must, sleeping almost never. The manticores roared, and the giant bird-snakes screamed from above, but she persisted, until her sword was more blood than steel and her body was sinew and stone.

Once, in the grass, a voice called her name. It was not a voice she knew, but it was familiar, and it made her ache in a way that lack of food and sleep and constant alertness had not yet achieved, but the ache was welcome, almost soothing. The voice was silvery among the green stalks, and it floated down with golden petals from the scimitar blossoms above. It told her to be patient, and follow no one but her own instincts, and she would find her path home. In the wake of the voice, she slept and felt safer than she had in weeks.

When at last the grass parted for her, and her eyes fell upon the proud form of her mother and beheld the cheering assemblage of her tribe, Septhusana was a woman grown, and she was mightier than all who came before her. She stepped into her leadership as was her right, and her tribe followed without question. The matriarch of the oliphant herd, old Ni Acutar, bowed to her, her massive tusks dipping into the ground below, adorned with the bangles of all of the ancestor warriors who had come before, all the way back to the first Ni Septh, a thousand years ago. Septhusana touched her head to the great broad forehead of the ancient matriarch, brushing against the ceremonial ochre, and then she mounted, climbing up a proffered massive limb. And Septhusana gathered her wayward people, guiding them North, to where their ancient migration paths led to the summer lands.

On the back of Ni Acutar, the great queen Septhusana earned the sacred armbands of her ancestors. She warred with the people of the Gorgon’s Mercy, the Ga Hazeth, who tore their enemies heads apart and fed their skulls to their stone idol god, and drove them back to the shores of the great grass sea, far from her vulnerable people. When the people of the Last Serpent came to terrorize the lands left behind from the Gorgon’s Mercy, she rounded upon them as well, until the Great Asp bowed his head to her blade. Ni Acutar’s tusks ran red with blood and the golden-skinned queen tattooed the names of her enemies until there was no room on her arms to spare.

She thought that was the last of her trials. But the Grey Skinned God was not done with her yet.

In the winter of the ninth year of her reign, when they journeyed to the Southern Swamps, the tribe was lean and hungry. It had been a poor year for their herds, and the oliphants did not calve as they usually did, which left young warriors without mounts to ride to their ceremonial first battles. Without warriors, they were defenseless. The people of the Sky Hawk were warring again in the East, raiding camps and villages up and down the winding Gorgon’s River, but the river refused to swell, and the reed grass didn’t blossom. And the clerics in Septhusana’s advisory camp were clamoring that the portents called for the queen to wed, and make fertile the land once more, or the grass would close in upon them and swallow their herds, and the Sky Hawk people would rule again.

There were many fine maidens among the Ni Septh; some skilled with blade, some skilled with bow, all as beautiful as the seven moons and deadly as night wraiths. Each demanded the chance to be courted by the queen, and preformed dances in the great temple before the idols of the god. But none of them made Septhusana’s eye fall upon her, and no matter how they whirled and leapt, the god’s statue did not move with approval. Only the god could permit a woman to be fertile with another woman, but the grey oliphant tusk, withered with age, did not rock upon its plinth. The tribe’s counselors despaired, and they wrung their hands in grief over the future of their people.

Septhusana had made her decision, however. The clerics cried out in alarm, and the warriors stiffened in their ranks as the queen made the announcement: she would return to the trial lands, and the great shifting sea of grass, to find her bride. She stepped into the wilds unarmed, and with little food, trusting only in herself, and learning much from day to day. For many nights and many long, blistering days, she roamed, and found no succor amongst the winding paths and many-headed scimitar stalks, but she had sought none anyway.

Eventually, she came upon a clearing, and there was a small pool, wreathed by nodding, welcoming edible reed grass. She fell to her knees to drink, and only when she looked into the water did she see a silver-haired girl, standing on the opposite bank, her feet bare, and her body adorned with tarnished bangles. She was clutching a bloody knife, and her legs were astride the kill of a fell deer, its organs displayed on the rock beside. Septhusana made the sign for friendship, but the girl only whirled, and ran into the grass, abandoning her meat.

Septhusana followed, swift as a summer rain, and without delay, she caught the girl by the wrist, disarming her. The girl did not cry out, but her silvery eyes were welled with pain and fear. She did not speak, but her lips moved and a white wisp emerged, light as smoke. The wisp moved between them, and it sunk into Septhusana’s golden warrior’s skin, making her shudder. A voice that she felt, rather than heard, in her head whispered: Don’t hurt me.

The warrior queen released her grip, but did not step back. “I am not going to harm you.” She answered, and placed her hand over her chest, to where the wisp had touched her skin.

I did not mean to trespass in your lands. The girl’s lips did not move again, and there was no second grey exhalation, but the voice remained in Septhusana’s head, regardless.

“So say all who cross my boundaries. But you are not like most.” The queen examined the silver-haired girl. “Where is it you come from?”

Far beyond the great grass sea. My people are all gone. I came here alone.

“And you live amongst the beasts?”

Not all are beasts. The silver eyes regarded hers, dark and unknowable as a forest pool. They were circling each other, as animals do, each well-matched in size and strength.

Septhusana had come to a realization. “I recognize your voice. You spoke to me, once before, in the time of my trials. You told me to trust myself, and I would find the path back to my people.” She lifted a hand from her chest and reached for the fingers of the wild girl, grazing their tips.

And did you? A warm hand curled around the palm of the warrior queen, and each stepped closer, as if drawn by quiet, inexorable force.

“I did. And now I return to the land of my trials, because I have determined to wed the owner of the voice who saved me.” Septhusana said this into the lips of the silver-haired girl, as their fingers entwined and the light died between their bodies as they blended. Golden mist threaded out from Septhusana’s chest and into the grey smoke wrapped around their joined hands, and each released a sigh.

I am not sure I am a thing to be wed, but I will follow your path, if that is what you desire. Her lips were the color of the ceremonial ochre used to dress the heads of the oldest oliphants. Her grey-shrouded body was slim, girlish, but her eyes were older than gods and time and Septhusana drew her in, caught in what man was never meant to know, but woman always accepts.

“I do not know if you are a woman or a creature from the Grey Skinned God, but I do not care. You are the one I choose, and your voice is the path I trust best.” Septhusana said, some time later, when they had finished their courtship beneath the falling blossoms of the scimitar stalks. Her lover said nothing, only smiled, and her silver eyes shone under the seven moons.

When the queen and her silver-haired mate returned from the trial lands, side by side, the tribe was at first concerned over the origins of their queen’s paramour. Many feared she was a spy, and the counselors warred amongst themselves. Septhusana gave it no mind, until the most severe of her counselors turned against the Silver Queen, as her lover was known, and tried to murder her. Septhusana rose in a blind rage and destroyed the conspiracy root and stem, and was forever after known as Septhuserrana, Lion of Ni Septh, or Lion of Us All.

She ruled fairly, and wisely, and her stern hand guided the tribe back to their former glory. The oliphants flourished once more, and the warriors put their handprint on the tusk of each new member of the herd, until there were as many hands as stars in the sky. The grass parted for them as it never had before, yielding unto the tribe secret oasis, hidden groves of fruit and cool water. And through it all their queen’s mate never spoke, but her voice was said to call out to certain warriors, letting them see through the grass, to find their way to new game, and, at other times, her voice was heard to warn certain beasts, who came away and did no harm after she spoke with them, in ancient and unknowable tongues.

The Grey Skinned God blessed the match, and they had many children. Their first was a fine and fierce daughter who was destined to rule the tribe, the second a brave and worthy son who would be her greatest counselor, and they were blessed with two wise and powerful twins, born a male and female, who shunned their restraints of sex to become the strongest of the shamans, genderless and all-knowing. Septhuserrana named her children Septhuhasa, Acutar Nir, Ya Nir and Ya Fhy, and their names, along with the name of their illustrious mother, were told over the fires, again and again. Once in each generation of their line, and forever after, a child was born with silver or gold hair, and the clerics knew that child was born unto greatness. They were warriors, kings, queens, shamans, and scholars.

Septhuserrana’s reign was long, bountiful, and if not entirely peaceable, then at least unhindered by chaos. When at last the great queen laid upon her pyre and closed her eyes for the final time, her silver lover stood alongside, and though she looked no older than the day she had joined the tribe, her eyes were oceans of sadness, in which the worst of time could not hold her grief. Her hand held her lover’s even as the fire crackled with blue flame, and a golden light could be seen wrapping around her flesh, protecting it from the searing heat.

The Silver One continued, ageless, and she was no longer a queen, but her presence helped guide each new ruler, be it king or queen, with a hand on her chest as her voice sang into the grass of the trial lands, finding those worthy of the Ni Septh people. The ones her voice found were often from the line of Septhuserrana, but just as often it would be some common child, a beggar boy or an orphan daughter, and they would rule just as Septhuserrana had, with grace and humility.

On the rise of every night, when the great moon towered in her journey across the black sky, followed by her six slender sister moons, and the scimitar stalks bowed with the winds from the South, the silver-haired girl would go into the great green sea, bangles dangling from her arms and ankles, hands open to the grass. She would stand, ageless and unbending as the stalks of grass. A grey mist would rise, and her heart would call, and the voice she would hear in return was as golden as the setting sun.

“I choose you, and your voice is my path. I am never far from it.” ____________________________________________________________________________________

[ladytitanium]

1,2,7 to 17, 19 to 23, 25 to 70

OKAY SO this got suuuuper long and I’m gonna answer it under a readmore but thank you so much for asking!

1. First game you played obsessively?

Definitely Minecraft. I got it around 2012 and played it whenever I could, although shortly afterwards I moved on to playing a lot of TF2 with some online friends.

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc. 

TF2 and Portal 2 were the first things I ever wrote fanfic for, so I’d say those two are big and important for sure. More recently, though, Transistor and Pyre have been inspiring me to pursue more art and music.

7. Any games you have multiple copies of?

I have Portal 2 for xbox 360 and PC.

8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?

I had a copy of Link to the Past in great condition, but my ex stole that and my entire SNES so :/

9. Most regrettable purchase?

No Man’s Sky is the obvious answer but I think I have some steam games lying around that I bought and played once, or just never touched. Not sure which ones, though. Usually if I’m going to spend actual money on something, I try to make sure it’s good first.

10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?

No, but I’d like to someday.

11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?

Not in the sense of meeting people in an mmo or anything, but I’ve definitely bonded with people I’ve met over a mutual love of games.

12. Ever get picked on for liking games?

Nah, not really. I’ve been picked on more for not having played enough games, honestly.

13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?

I’ve never played Overwatch or most online competitive games, or any MMOs aside from like 5 hours of gw2.

14. Favorite game music?

Anything Darren Korb, the composer for Supergiant Games, has made. Bastion, Transistor, and Pyre OSTs will always have a special place in my heart. Honorable mention goes to the Portal 2 soundtrack.

15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?

I……. have a triforce tattoo…….. on my left wrist……………

16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?

I tend to like watching people play games rather than doing competitive or couch coop type things, so it’s hard to say. I used to hang out with my friends while we all did playthroughs of the Mass Effect trilogy, though, which was wonderful.

17. Ever lose a friend over a game?

Nah. Had some arguments over the Souls games, though.

19. Favorite handheld console?

3DS, definitely, although I do have some nostalgia for the good ol’ GBA.

20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?

Portal 2, although it’s been a few years since I’ve played so I might not be as familiar with it as I once was. Barring that, Stardew Valley.

21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?

I can’t think of any, honestly, since I almost never played anything as a kid.

22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?

The occasional Zelda t-shirt, and my old Aperture Science tanktop. I’d wear more if I owned more.

23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?

TF2, I think? I used to play for hours every evening.

25. Were you ever an arcade game player?

Sadly, no. My mother thought arcades were giant wastes of time and money and would corrupt me and make me stupid. 

26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?

No, I don’t get competitive much. 

27. Game that makes you rage?

Any kind of roguelike makes me angry just thinking about it. I hate losing progress. Really difficult platformers make me frustrated and angry too.

28. Ever play in a tournament?

Dear god no.

29. What is your gaming set up?

Currently, none. I have a shitty, half-broken laptop.

30. How many consoles do you own?

I own a Switch and a 3DS. I have access to an XBONE though.

31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?

I’ve never tried a Virtual Boy, but leaving the 3D on high on my 3DS is something I’ve only done once due to the nasty headache it gave me.

32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?

I don’t think so, no.

33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?

I had a Sonic handheld game from a happy meal, does that count?

34. Do either of your parents play video games?

My dad does, a lot. Mostly MMOs. I think my mother did too, but mostly Civ, some ancient Egypt themed MMO, and Guild Wars, from what I can recall.

35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?

I worked in a game store for about six months late last year/early this year. It’s the best job I’ve ever had.

36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?

Oh, tears, absolutely. Plenty of games have made me cry. FFXV, Persona 5, Transistor, Portal 2, the list goes on.

37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?

I actually have played it! Perks of working at a game store that sells Ataris. I was utterly baffled by it, so I think “worst game ever made” is a fair title.

38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?

I really enjoy all the walking simulators/art games I’ve played. I know a lot of people say they aren’t real games or whatever but I think most of the ones I’ve played are genuinely enjoyable experiences.

39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?

...Portal 3, but with the same writers+VAs+team in general. I know that’ll never happen now but I need it like I need air.

40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?

Motion controls can be hit or miss. I think they need to be integrated well and very functional to be enjoyable. Like, wii sports and stuff? I loved it. Those tilt puzzles in the shrines in BOTW? Absolutely horrendous. As for VR, I really want to try it someday. I think it’s neat.

41. A genre that you just can’t get into?

Roguelikes, Souls-like (where the only purpose of the game is to be as difficult as possible so people who master it can be snobs about it), and any realistic online-only FPS things like Call of Duty are the three main things I will never, ever touch.

42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?

Pokemon Ruby, absolutely.

43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?

All through the second half of high school, tbh.

44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?

I’ve never actually gotten to play arcade games much.

45. How are you at Mario Kart?

I’m only decent at Mario Kart Wii, because I played it a lot.

46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?

Absolutely! Animal Crossing New Leaf and City Folk are games I love dearly and have spent a LOT of time on over the years.

47. Do you like competitive games?

Almost never. I only ever played TF2 with friends, and that pretty much extends to any competitive game I might play. Only with friends, and only sometimes.

48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?

So. Long.

49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?

Yeah, mages are kind of my thing. I get jumpy when I have to do a bunch of melee so I tend to prefer to stand back a little. I always went full biotic in Mass Effect for that reason.

50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?

That’s a tough one. I’ve had a few concepts over the years, but none that have really stuck with me.

51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?

Yeah, definitely. I lose track of time really easily if I’m absorbed in something.

52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?

All Pokemon games from gen 4+5.

53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?

Any DLC that adds characters or plot necessary for the full enjoyment of the game should be free imo. Skins/weapons/maps/non-essential quests and missions can be behind a paywall. Like, ME3′s From Ashes DLC should have been free, and I go back and forth between whether it was cool to have Citadel and Omega DLCs behind paywalls, but all the weapons/armor/alternate appearance packs I’m totally fine with being paid DLC.

54. Do you give in to Steam sales?

Only when I have money.

55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?

I never played any Sims games.

56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?

Never played Roller Coaster Tycoon either.

57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?

Minish Cap, I think? I tried to 100% Super Mario Galaxy but I couldn’t ever quite do it.

58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?

Oh, shit. Uh. Animal Crossing New Leaf, Pokemon Sun (or Moon), and... I can’t pick a third one. Probably something with multiplayer.

59. Do you play any cell phone games?

Yeah, but most of them are just little time-wasting puzzle games.

60. Do you know the Konami Code?

Yes!

61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?

I’ve never traded in a game but I might if I bought a physical copy of something I didn’t like.

62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?

Does the Switch count, since till Splatoon 2 came out I only had BOTW on it? I’ve considered getting a PS4 just for P5 and Horizon Zero Dawn.

63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? 

I went to GenCon a few times when I was really young but I barely remember it, and I’ve tagged along to a handful of Warhammer 40k tournaments with my dad, but that was also like 10 years ago. So no, not really.

64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?

I’ve never bought a TV or monitor myself.

65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?

I had an Action Replay for shinies in X and Y.

66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?

No, my first phone was a Windows phone when I was 14 because my mother hated technology and wanted to control me so a phone was way too much freedom and entirely out of the question :/

67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?

I remember the first time I beat Portal 2, sitting on the floor in front of the TV and crying tears of joy. That was pretty great.

68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?

I wanted to, but didn’t go to arcades enough.

69. In your opinion, best game ever made? 

Transistor. Can’t think of a single bad thing about it, honestly. Persona 5 and Horizon Zero Dawn are near-flawless too.

70. Very first game you ever beat?

The first game I beat was Pokemon Ruby, but idk if that counts since I shared with my brother, and I think my dad had to help us beat the Elite 4 because we were young and didn’t grind enough. I took turns with Portal 2, too. Portal 1, maybe?