#also sitting here with a small part of my brain going 'sarah chill u have to buy a CAR'

[seekingthestars]

exhibiting some absolutely unhinged behavior and going on a mercari japan shopping spree was not exactly how i planned to spend my night but i'm not mad at it ⊙▽⊙

[weasleypogues]

secrets (k.c)

request: I was wondering if could you do a kiara x maybank! reader where no one knows your bi and that you have a crush kiara but one night when everyone's hanging out and you play a game of truth or dare and everyone finds out & jj accepts you but worries about your guys' father finding out, please?🥺

masterlist

thanks for sending this in, i hope u like it!! :) sorry its kinda long and it took long to get to also :/ 

it wasn’t easy keeping a secret this big. you told yourself plenty of times that your friends and brother were the people you trusted the most and that they should know. however, you also couldn’t come to terms with the fact that if any word got back to your father, it was probably over for you and you could say goodbye to the sick excuse of a home. 

you stayed out of the house with your brother jj as much as possible. this meant crashing at friends’ houses, working long hours, or surfing. as long as you weren’t close to what was once your sweet home, you were fine. a lot of the time, you felt bad overwhelming john b’s house with not only one maybank, but two. plus they needed jj and john b needed their bro time from here and there. this usually leads you to stay at kiara’s house. she was your best friend and you were so thankful for everything she’s done for you and the rest of the pogues.

yes, she was your best friend, but no way in hell would you ever feel confident enough to spill your secret to her. you kept a lock on this secret. and that big chain, lock, and thrown away key was guarding the fact that you are bisexual. somewhere in there was a smaller lock that held the secret that you also crushed on your best friend kiara. you knew deep down in your heart--or just really really hoped--that your friends would not judge you and defriend you because you were bi. 

you kind of convinced yourself that if it wasn’t for your father, that you would have felt confident enough and already verbally told everyone that you were bi. you knew that they would never out your sexuality to anyone else that wasn’t in the friend group, but in the climate of living with luke maybank, you could not take even the smallest of chances.

nevertheless, it was a secret within yourself that you still felt sad that you had to keep this part back. within your own conscious, you embraced your sexuality and but you didn’t feel that saying it outloud was worth the bruises from your father. ignorance is bliss? that’s a debateable statement. because was the bliss reserved for your father and his anger, or for yourself and preventing another drop of blood?

you usually ran to one of the places where you found most of your alone time. it was you and your yellow surfboard against the world out in the waves. sometimes you would ride the waves to distract yourself or let off some steam. there were also other times where you’d swim far out and lay on the board to think in privacy which is ironic because you were completely out in the open. 

one of those times were now. you let the waves rock you back and forth as your legs stradled the board and you laid on your stomach with your eyes closed. most of the time, if you were out there lying on your board, it’s because the internal battle with yourself was getting overwhelming. your brain was getting racked with the idea of just telling your friends because you weren’t being fair with yourself and wanted to tell them the truth, finally. 

a voice quickly snapped you out of that trance, “waves not good enough for your surfboard?” after letting out a small yell of fright, you looked over and saw kie. her brown curls cascaded down her back and shoulders, two beaded necklaces hung from her neck, and she coincidentally wore your favorite yellow bathing suit of hers, because it matched your surfboard so well. your face felt warm at the thought that whenever there was a girls day, she would wear that bathing suit when you guys would surf because you said it was your favorite.

“nah, they’re just fine. just needed to disconnect for a little. y’know. the usual.” you gave kie a soft smile and chuckled as you concluded your sentence. your heart fluttered at the thought that she was very keen on eye contact and you felt like she could basically read your mind because of it. 

her head cocked to the side, trying to read your facial expressions. “wanna talk about it?” you gave her a kind smile and shook your head, taking a deep breath in.

“uhm, i don’t even know if there’s much to talk about. it’s kinda all over the place up there.” you responded, pointing to your head. she put her lips in a straight line and nodded, in understanding.

“wanna hit the waves for a little and than go back to john b’s later with me? wasn’t sure if you were coming or not considering you’ve vacated to the waves instead of answering your phone.” kiara teased you, mirroring your position on the surboard. 

“i’m down for that. beat you to the next wave!” you responded with a headstart, swimming with the tide and preapred yourself for the next wave. as you rode with the current that grew larger and larger, you stood up on your surfboard and rode with the wave as you heard cheering from kie behind you. 

a couple of more successful waves between you and kie were concluded and you two were walking towards dry sand as you and your surfboards were dripping wet. “wanna borrow clothes from mine and crash there tonight if we don’t knock out at john b’s?” kiara inquired, throwing her wet hair into a messy bun and loading her surboard in the trunk of her car with the back seats down. 

“works perfectly for me.” you responded, following her lead with placing your own surfboard back there. you looked down and smiled slightly to yourself that the idea that you never felt like this friendship was one sided. sometimes you felt like you would overstay your welcome or bombard her with your constant presence but she insisted all the time that she enjoyed having you around. after wiping the wet sand from your feet, you hopped in her car and made your way back to her house to get changed.

----------

you and your friends sat around a campfire outside, all a little high but just chilling. 

“soooo....truth or dare? but without the dare?” sarah asked, giggling slighty. you heard an erruptions of groans but chuckled to yourself because of the response. 

“so, just truth?” jj questioned in clairfication. john b rolled his eyes.

“that’s exactly what it is.” he answered which earned a light slap on the shoulder from sarah.

“or we could just sit here high out of our minds and bored like what we were previously doing.” sarah stated, in a higher tone because she knew that everyone would agree anyway.

“eh, fuck it. what else is there to do?” pope said, readjusting his position on the tree. “jj....uhhh.....last lie you told?”

jj groaned and leaned back in deep thought, “can’t believe that’s the best you got....uhm....i told john b that topper was the one who stole his bandana.”

john b shot up quickly, staring directly at jj. “okay, but what’s the truth? because you don’t know how close i was to confronting topper about my lucky bandana.”

“i may have spilt beer and needed something to clean it up with....” jj responded, cowering slightly in his seat. everyone laughed and awaited john b’s answer. you were a little more eager to hear the response considering you were the one that told jj to use the bandana instead of getting in trouble. 

“i’ll beat your ass about it tomorrow, i’m too comfortable right now.” john b said, his head lying in sarah’s lap as she played with his hair lovingly. you couldn’t take your eyes away from them and it brought you back to kie. you just wished you could hold her like that and have her know your feelings. maybe tonight was the night to tell them you are bi? everyone seems relaxed and a little more wiped, so at least it wouldn’t be amped up. but then again, you brother jj sat right across from you and it brought you back to the idea that your dad may find out if the secret left your mouth.

you internally groaned at the fact that whenever you thought of letting people in on your sexuality, it always led you back to the fear of your father finding out. except, you didn’t internally groan but actually groaned outloud and you didn’t realize till everyone’s eyes were on you. you felt your face go hot and gave your best awkward smile.

“i guess (y/n) wants to go next. so (y/n/n)......biggest secret?” john b asked and you felt your heart slightly drop and your hands go sweaty. you opened your mouth but wasn’t sure if you should lie or was this the best opportunity to tell them? it seemed like john b read your mind when asking you this question. you felt your heart rate quicken and didn’t dare look anyone in the eyes.

“i...uh...uhm.” you responded nervously. even though it had been years when you came to the realization you were bisexual and had thought of every which way to tell your best friends in every scenario possible, you were still at a loss for words. fuck. 

you felt tears brim your eyes and you ran both of your hands through your hair, staring at the ground. “woah, (y/n), you don’t have to answer it if it stresses you out so much.” jj told you, glaring at john b who clearly almost gave his little sister a heart attack. you shook your head and looked up at everyone.

“no no, it’s okay. uhm... fuck okay.” you said, feeling like your eyes couldn’t focus on one place because your mind was running at 100 mph. you took a deep breath and closed your eyes. keeping them closed, you continued “it’s now or never. so fuck it. i’ve kept this a secret for long enough...” you felt kiara from next to you grab your hand and reassuringly stroke her thumb back and forth. “i’m bi.”

honestly, you could tell if it had been 3 seconds, minutes, or hours till someone answered. you felt yourself get choked up until you felt a head that belonged to kiara lie itself on your shoulder and a hand squeeze your own. you were confused when you felt salty tears at your lips and finally looked at the rest of the group who all gave you soft and loving eyes.

“you know we’ll love you no matter what, (y/n), right?” pope said, send a small smile your way and crawling from his spot to right next to you and put an arm around your shoulder. you let a couple of more tears fall until a smile came upon your face, nodding.

you looked directly at jj, knowing exaclty what he was thinking because it’s exactly what you were thinking. “we can’t tell dad.” you both said in unison. you chuckled through the tears as jj walked towards you and engulfed you in a hug, kissing the top of your head. thankfully, it wasn’t long until john b and sarah made their way to the hug and everyone silently held each other for a moment.

“okay okay, enough sappiness.” you said, breaking up the hug with a giant smile on your face as you wiped the tears that were still falling from your eyes. your friends chuckled in response. 

“i say this calls for a celebration with s’mores!” sarah announced, pulling john b’s hand towards his house. “kie, find some sticks. pope, make the fire stronger.” 

you stood up, wiping off some dirt from your shorts and made your way closer to the dock in deep thought. even though it was such a clichè term, you felt like a literal weight was lifted off of your shoulders. your best friends finally knew and there wasn’t this side of you that you had to pretend didn’t exist. a familiar hand on your shoulder ripped you from your thoughts as your brother came into your view.

“i love you, (y/n). to the moon and back. i don’t want you to have to hold any part of yourself back from who you really are. but, i hate to say it. that excludes dad. i just can’t see you get hurt and it breaks my heart to have to ask you this.” your brother said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and looking out into the water as well. you took a deep breath and let your head lie on his shoulder.

“i know. i kinda expected this. but at least i don’t have to hide it from you guys now.” you responded, crossing your arms over your chest and letting your shoulders relax. again, jj kissed the top of your forehead but you two were interrupted when you heard footsteps walk on the dock behind you. you saw kie walking towards you two slowly and give you a small, kind smile. 

“can i steal her for a second?” kiara asked jj, fiddling with her fingers. jj nodded and pulled away from you.

“‘she’s all yours.” jj said. i wish. jj started walking back towards the camp fire to help pope with the failing fire as kiara pulled you in for a hug. you took in her scent that was a mix of the ocean and her rose perfume. 

“i’m so proud of you, (y/n).” she muttered into your hair and you squeezed her a little harder. you both pulled away slowly and you immediately looked into her beautiful brown eyes, your mouth slightly parted. and as if this were a romance movie, you glanced down at her lips as kiara couldn’t tear her eyes away from yours. and thank god she made the first move. kiara slowly leaned into kiss you and you moved in yourself. 

your hands moved to lightly sit on her waist and her hands cupped your face, as you two deepend the kiss. it wasn’t long until the two of you pulled apart, slightly out of breath. a smile so wide made it’s way onto your face as you gazed into her eyes.

“you don’t know how long i’ve been wanting to do that.” kiara said, chuckling and letting her hands drop to her side. 

“you? really? it’s all i keep fucking thinking about.” you said, pulling her in for a second kiss.

so maybe there was a second secret now to tell the rest of your friends that had already made their way back to the campfire.