#also spell check doesn't exist on ie!!

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi, I was wondering if I could get some help in typing myself. I've been stuck between ENFP and INFP for a while, and I've been trying to figure out by loops and grips to see if I can remember what I'm like in times of stress. But I'm pretty terrible at remembering my own actions during these times and if I ask anyone I'm close to what I seem to do/be like in those situations they just shrug and say I'm just myself but more stressed out, which doesn't help me at all. 1/?

I don't have a particularly good sense of self, and if someone suggests that I am a certain trait, I tend to go with it, unless it's something that I can shut down. My ISTJ sister tells me that I'm a jerk and I ask her to explain on and on until she gets pissed off and tells me that I just am. I'm bad at analyzing myself in the moment because I just do what I need to get done without really thinking about it and then go "shit, I was trying to analyze myself" because I can't remember my exact 2/?motivations outside of the moment. So I'm just bad at self-analysis in general lol. I build up a lot of resentment at things I'm forced to do e.g. phone calls, making appointments. I'm bad at knowing what others expect me to do, and need to have it spelled out. I'm not good at picking up on what people want i.e. for their birthdays so I make sure to ask them what they want because I don't want to give them something that they wouldn't have a use for or even like so it just takes up space. 3/?

At work, I try to get everything scheduled for me done as fast as I can so I can relieve that stress from myself. I don't mind more work popping up afterwards as long as I can get the things scheduled done so I don't accidentally leave something out. I tend to forget a lot of stuff that I need to get done so I make sure to write it down but even then sometimes I don't see my own notes on my desk and almost don't do my work until the last moment. 4/?

I know what I like and tend to stick to that. If I can remember something that I hated when I was younger I tend to stay away from that completely. E.g. I got a bad reaction to lobster when I was 5 years old and have not tried it since then and shut down people that attempt to make me try it since I don't want anything like that first reaction to ever happen again. 5/?

I know that I'm enneagram 6 so I'm wondering if that is most likely making me more cautious to think that I hide any Ne that would potentially open me up too much to get hurt. I can remember that I used to be more open as a child but can't tell whether this is due to just being a kid in general or if this is more indicative of extroverted traits. I hesistate a lot more than I think most ENFPs would, but I don't really know any in person and I think that most online profiles of ENFPs are 6/7

are written with enneagram 7s in mind, so I don't relate to them very much. I've just sent a ton of stuff in but I'm really hoping that your input will help me figure out what the heck I am. Thank you! 7/7

-----------------------

Hi anon,

I’m going to open with a bit of an apology. As you’ll see below, most of my response is me telling you why you’re wrong about things and I do so fairly bluntly.

I also think you did a very good job of providing relevant and sufficient information for me to actually be able to provide a coherent, evidence-based explanation of my own thought process, which isn’t something everyone does, to the point where I think this serves as an example of what information is useful and what isn’t in typing, and I’m going to make a sidebar post about that.

Anyway my typing is IxTP - I’m not positive on Ne vs. Se but I do feel quite strongly you’re actually a high Ti user.

As always, typing on loops and grips is perhaps the worst MBTI typing advice that exists:

You cannot guarantee what your stress response is (ie, being stressed does not automatically equal loop or grip).

Without knowing your type initially, there’s a good chance you won’t know if you’re in a loop or a grip, particularly since the unhealthy part of a loop is the tertiary function and the unhealthy part of a grip is the inferior, so even if you could reliably know you were in either a loop or grip as a response to stress and that you were definitely an INFP or ENFP, chances are you wouldn’t know if you were looping on Ne-Te or gripping on Te.

Even if you could address the first two major issues, which you can’t, as you said our ability to observe ourselves with any measure of objectivity during stress is very difficult.

Typing on loops and grips: not even once.

Moving on, if you don’t have a good sense of self and tend to go along with what others suggest of your identity, that is one of the strongest arguments against a high Fi type - I would immediately rule out INFP or ENFP unless there’s some very strong evidence elsewhere, and even then I’d double check.

I really can’t use any information regarding your sister; without knowing your actions objectively I can’t say for sure if you are a jerk, and depending on your age and her age this is of varying reliability (ie, if she’s like, 11, she is just calling you a jerk because that’s what siblings do). I can say that ISTJs generally can come up with an itemized list of why someone is a jerk though so like...consider revisiting her typing too while you’re at it.

Not liking obligations and building up resentment indicates that you don’t have good Fe, but because you mentioned you tend to go along with what others suggest I’d guess high Ti over high Te. High Te tends to be more contrary but also more comfortable with obligations. Low Fe can also mean you feel uncomfortable making judgments regarding what people want.

The fact that you’re concerted with usefulness of objects and getting things done, but also tend to be a strong procrastinator, makes me think you may be a high Se user, but sticking to what you like in certain ways while also being a procrastinator who sometimes struggles to be in the moment means I wouldn’t rule out high Ne.

Enneagram 6 is consistent with any type, so I would be interested in what you mean re: hiding Ne. I do think that enneagram 6 + Ti-dom could definitely make it harder to determine aux Ne vs. aux Se because they’d both mask a lot of the more obvious outgoing/spontaneous traits, but either ISTP or INTP seems very in line with what you’ve said here.