#also streber in the background real?!

[thecattishdragon]

MY BABY NOO

[eunchancorner]

Ok this might be a bit out of the ordinary, but bear with me pls. Ler Bob and Lee Kevin. Hear me out! The candy teases and methods Bob could use

‘You taste sweeter than candy’ while nibbling

I guess this could take place where Bob isn’t a murderous cannibal?(This popped in my head and I found it cute I’m sorry)

Feel free to take this as a request if you want. If not, have a good day :D

BIG BRAIN- Oki oki so yea I saw this AU floating around where Bob is more like an uncle or babysitter to Skid and Pump so let’s just say this is that. And he’s also friends with Kevin (and, ofc, Streber) bc yes

Ler Bob, Lee Kevin (Also a bit of Ler Streber and Lee Bob)

Warning: A lot of cussing lmao

Word count: 1092

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Kevin stood from the couch with a slight groan as he heard a knock at the door, leaving the movie he had been watching playing in the background. He walked over to the door of his small apartment, opening it and being scooped into a big, warm hug before he knew what was happening.

Of course, it didn’t take much for him to understand. Him, Bob and Streber had been planning a movie night for some time now and tonight was the fateful night. The movies Kevin had been watching were far less realistic horror movies to help him prepare himself (he seemed to be the only one in this damn town who struggled with watching horror movies) and Streber had gone out to get more candy, knowing how much it’d be appreciated. Kevin would have been working but thankfully he had a day off today, so Streber had gone to the grocery store and wouldn’t be back for a while. And, of course, Bob had offered to make dinner for the night, stopping by the grocery store himself and picking up some steak on the way to Kevin’s place.

Bob had apparently decided to hug him before saying a single word, which was pretty typical for him. After the hug, he set Kevin back on his feet, a grocery bag dangling from his hand that no doubt contained their dinner for the night.

“Kevin, nice to see you again. Where’s your lil’ boyfriend?” he asked, his height allowing him to easily see over his friend and into the otherwise empty apartment.

“He’s out buying candy for us, since we figured with you around, we’d probably need more,” Kevin explained, stepping aside so Bob could come in.

“Aw, c’mon, I don’t eat that much candy!”

“Last year you ate me, Streber’s AND your candy!”

“Can ya blame me? You two weren’t gonna finish it anyway,” he argued as he put the steak in the fridge, before he sat down on the couch, Kevin sitting beside him. He snorted a little at the movie he had put on.

“Is this really what you’re watchin?” he asked, smirking a bit at the small blush he saw rising on his friend’s cheeks.

“Listen, horror movies aren’t my thing, so I’m trying to mentally prepare myself.”

“For what? Shitty CGI and the most fake-lookin props? Trust me, you’re gonna wanna try some real horror movies to steel yourself. This ain’t gonna cut it,” he told him, poking the much shorter man in the forehead. Kevin swatted his hand away, growling slightly.

“If I can’t prepare myself with bad horror movies, how am I gonna prepare at all?” he countered, both nervous and a little fed-up.

“What, you can’t take a little horror? Poor Kevin, are you gonna scream at a little monster?~” Bob teased his tiny (in comparison) friend, making him huff.

“No but… grrr, you’re such an ass,” he complained, attempting (without much success) to shove at the far taller man. Of course, a false offended gasp was the first sign to Kevin that he had fucked up.

“Did you just try to shove me?”

“W-waitwaitwait, Bob, I-I know what you’re thinking, but hear me out!” Kevin panicked, a small smile worming onto his face as he backed into the corner of his couch, already well aware of what his friend had in mind.

“One chance.”

Ok Kevin, don’t fuck this up. DON’T tell him he’s an ass AGAIN out loud. Don’t do it, don’t do it!

“You’re an ass.”

GODDAMMIT.

“Ohohoho, you just fucked up,” Bob stated as though Kevin didn’t already know, grabbing his arm and yanking him closer, pinning him to his chest before using his free hand to claw at his ribs, making the much smaller squeal.

“NAAHAHAHOHOHOHO BOHOHOB! LEHEMME GOHOHO! LEMME GO!” the small ravenette kicked and cackled, pounding his free hand into the chest that entrapped him on one side. He almost hated the way the warmth of his friend’s sweater made him wanna just melt and take it. But at the same time, it tickled so badly and he couldn’t help the instinct to squirm and kick.

“Aw, poor lil candy kid, can’t even take a few tickles?~” the much bigger ravenette teased softly, delighting in the flustered squeal Kevin let out. “Streber must love doin this~”

“SHUHUHUHUT!” said ‘candy kid’ demanded, slamming his hand into Bob’s stomach a little harder than he should have, enough to get him to stop with an “Oof!”

As it slowly loaded into Kevin’s mind what just happened, he looked up at his friend.

Oh fuck.

“Alright that’s fucken IT!”

Before he knew what was happening, the world was moving fast around him and suddenly he was staring at the ceiling, his shirt pulled up past his belly and a certain huge friend playfully nibbling at the exposed tum. He squealed and kicked and pushed at his friend’s head, cackles once again flowing from his lips at just how much it tickled, and Bob’s slight little beard and stupidly fluffy hair only made his situation worse!

“BAHAHAHAB! AHAHA I’M SAHAHAHAREEHEHEHEHE!! PLEHEHEHEASE!” he begged fruitlessly.

“Mmmm” Bob rumbled against his belly, making him squeal brightly yet again, “I might not need that candy, you’re even sweeter~”

“PLEHEHEHEASE!! IHIT TIHIHICKLES SOHOHO BAHAHAD!!”

“Promise to stop callin me an ass and then hurtin me?”

“YEHEHEHES! I PROHOHOHOMIHIHISE!!”

“You sure?~”

“BOHOHOHOHOB!!”

“Fine, fine,” the taller finally let up, laying the smol candy store worker on the couch and getting up to make dinner. Kevin tried his best to regain composure, wiping away tears of mirth, trying to quiet his giggles and will away blush, and letting the tingles in his belly subside. Only a few seconds after Bob left, he heard the door open and that familiar voice.

“Baby, I’m hooome! I got pl- uhh… Did Bob do this?” Streber asked as he saw what had become of his poor, ticklish boyfriend, who nodded tiredly.

“Of course he did. Stay here, guard this, I’ll be back in a few seconds!” he instructed him as he handed him the candy and kissed his forehead before he went into the kitchen.

“Bob! What have I told you about tickling my boyfriend!?” a falsely enraged yell came from the kitchen, one that definitely belonged to Kevin’s dear lover.

“What- wait- S-Streber, I’m cookin STREBER NOHOHO!!” Of course, Kev was never gonna warn Bob of exactly how much revenge he was gonna get. That was for him and him alone to find out.

Though it was fun to listen to.

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Ah, beautiful bois. Also dw about Kevin, they ended up watching action comedies.

[crossover-enthusiast]

Imma pull an uno reverse card on you and ask about YOUR streber headcannons hehe

>:o I've been uno reversed!! /lh

You got it! S O-

The local scenecore AND goth kid

I like the idea he keeps his fake fangs in near constantly

I also think he's autistic, but I don't think he masks it. He just doesn't give that vibe to me, personally

He's German (mom's side) and is bilingual

In addition to being both a theater kid and a techie, he's also really good with makeup

Was a babysitter in highschool, absolutely looked after each of the Hatz, Susie, and Skid and Pump at different points

After highschool he left town for a while in an attempt to make it big as an actor. While he got a few background roles and one as a supporting character (in a horror movie. His character got killed almost immediately), ultimately he moved back bc he couldn't find anything. He was also homesick lmao

While him and Kevin vaguely knew each other in highschool (Kevin was also in the theater club), it wasn't until after Streber returned that the two became friends and eventually, a couple

They later pooled their money together to go from two shitty apartments to one decent apartment

Streber comforted Kevin a lot when Kevin had his nightmares

Strebs is ambidextrous! Ended up coming in real handy after the Bob incident

Speaking of, his way of dealing with trauma is "if I ignore it it didn't happen". Not really something he can do down an arm tho

So this in turn leads to Streber having his own nightmares bc his brain is still trying to deal with it, and Kevin comforting him (he is very bad at it)

If he gets a prosthetic he later mods it so the fingers are sharp. Claims it's for the aesthetic (and part of it was), but really he wanted a good way to defend himself

I'm gonna go back to silly before it gets too sad

He works at GoNuts when it isn't October and he gives discounts to people he likes (took this from daily-streber lol)

When he first met Rick he tried to scare him, and when he showed no reaction Streber made it his mission to scare him, or even just get some emotion from him all

The haunted house was a repurposed abandoned house him and his friends just kinda. Took. No one was using it and it'd been abandoned for ages, so no one cared

Is usually the designated driver for both of his friend groups

Huge Kirby fan! His favorite games are Super Star Ultra and Triple Deluxe, and his favorite abilities are Animal, Mirror, and Circus (more daily-streber thievery with a side helping of projection lol)

Streber has a notebook he'll jot down various ideas and thoughts into. He also doodles in it (I think his artstyle would be similar to those teeny chibi Hatzgang and Bob from Pelo's doodle dumps, with a hint of 2000s webcore)

I really like the headcanon that him and Jack are brothers so here's a bunch just for that skfjnadskjfnkjfn

They were inseparable when they were kids

Streber looked up to him a lot, still does!

You know that thing where you show someone something you love and they get just as obsessed with it as you are, if not more? Yeah that was Jack and Streber with horror movies

When they were little they would stay up late and watch horror movies and slasher flics, and then they'd both get nightmares because they really shouldn't have been watching them

One Halloween when Streber was still teeny they dressed up as Andy and Chucky (I like to think Child's Play still exists in this universe bc it's funny). They scared so many people since Streber was a very convincing doll

Stemming from the above, they were partners in crime in pranks! Streber would probably find the corpse prank funny

Jack taught Streber how to drive

Streber babysits John's kid sometimes. He enables her mischievous side :)

Yeah I think that's enough for now kdsnfkjdsn

Thank you for the reversal!!

[gs-offshore]

Offshore Basics

Since I brought STREBER Weekly (which is more bi-weekly right now) back, I have made better use of services such as Google Analytics to see how you find my little corner of the internet. There is a lot of good interaction going on in the comments as well as the forum, mostly amongst readers who are somewhere between moderately to very well-informed on how tax havens, offshore banking, and everything around it works.

What I can see, though, is that a lot of you find this website while searching the web for pretty basic terms or come from websites that aren’t exactly known for providing accurate information. This post goes out to you, navigators of the offshore waters who have only just begun to get your feet wet.

This article is going to be peppered with links to other articles. I recommend that you finish reading this one before you dig deeper, though.

Tax Haven (Offshore Jurisdiction)

On average, a tax haven (also called offshore jurisdiction or international financial center) is a sunny island which either has been or presently is an overseas territory (colony or otherwise) of the United Kingdom.

These jurisdictions either have no or very low tax, or have special tax systems that treat specific companies or wealths differently (for example by exempting foreign companies from taxation).

Additionally, tax havens are typically very secretive. There are often no public registries of companies and their shareholders and directors. Banking secrecy is often very strong by law to make it difficult

Some of the most famous offshore jurisdictions are the Cayman Islands (a British territory), Seychelles (former British territory), Switzerland, and Panama.

In the Cayman Islands, it’s possible to form companies that pay no local tax and whose ownership can easily be hidden from public knowledge. There are many banks in the Cayman Islands and strict banking secrecy protects the identity of account holders.

In the Seychelles, it’s possible to incorporate very secretive companies under a special regime called International Business Company (often shortened IBC). IBCs are easily-formed companies with little to no record keeping or transparency requirements.

Switzerland is mostly known for its rigorous banking secrecy. Companies do pay tax in Switzerland but it’s quite low compared to most of its neighbouring countries.

Panama has a public registry for companies and companies have to pay tax. What makes it a tax haven is that Panama uses a tax system whereby a company only pays tax on income earned locally (called Territorial Taxation). Simplified, this means that a company incorporated under the laws of Panama which does not trade in Panama, in the end does not pay any tax in Panama. Panama also has strong banking secrecy.

Offshore Company

Strictly speaking, on offshore company is simply put just a company like any other company, except it has been incorporated under the laws of a different jurisdiction than where the owners of the company are based. This broad definition would also include situations where for example two Canadian entrepreneurs form a company in Denmark to make it easier to trade in Denmark, despite neither jurisdiction really being a tax haven.

Therefore, an offshore company is better defined as a company which is incorporated under the laws of a tax haven (see above).

Offshore companies are often used for one or both of three reasons:

Secrecy. Sometimes, investors want to hide their names from public record.

Taxation. Offshore companies are usually exempt from tax, which can make them legitimate tax-neutral entities in a larger group structure

Holding. The act of holding the shares of another company or holding intellectual property (patents, trademarks, or other) for other businesses. This can be used in conjunction with the Secrecy and Taxation aspects.

There are many legitimate reasons for using offshore companies. But there are also a lot of people using the secrecy and tax-free nature of offshore companies to conduct illegal activities such as fraud, tax evasion, and money laundering (more on that later).

As mentioned, offshore companies are often formed as International Business Companies (IBCs). This type of company originated in the British Virgin Islands (BVI) and is designated to be an extremely flexible and easy-going type of company to form and run, typically without public disclosure of owners and even directors.

Some are drawn to offshore jurisdictions to incorporate types of companies that aren’t available back home. For example, some seek out jurisdictions that have LLC (Limited Liability Companies) of the US-variety. See more in my article Comparison LLC vs. IBC (vs. others).

Offshore Bank Account

Similar to an offshore company, an offshore bank account is simply a bank account in another jurisdiction than where you are resident. Typically, it’s in a tax haven of some sort.

Historically, offshore bank accounts have been associated with rigorous banking secrecy. However, a number of international treaties and pressure on secretive tax havens has eroded much of the old secrecy. Today, the reality of secrecy is a lot more nuanced.

As a product, an offshore bank account is not much different from your regular bank account.

By banking offshore, you may be able to access currencies and financial instruments and services your local bank cannot.

(Offshore) Trust

A trust is an agreement between two or more parties where one party (the settlor) entrusts assets to another party (the trustee) for the benefit of a party (the beneficiary or beneficiaries).

Other roles may exist, such as a protector, whose role is to supervise the trustee to ensure that the assets are being handled in a manner that the settlor approves of or would approve of.

Trusts are not companies. They are in fact not entities at all. A trust is simply a contract. However, trusts may be given a name to simplify administration.

Contrary to what some marketing texts may lead one to believe, a trust cannot be own a company. Why? Because a trust is not a person or business entity; it’s an agreement. However, a trustee can own a company on behalf of the settlor for the benefit of the beneficiary. The distinction may seem petty but it’s important to understand.

Foundation

Foundations are sometimes described as a hybrid of a company and a trust. While the history and reality are both more complex than that, it’s still a pretty apt description.

Unlike a trust, a foundation is a legal person. Unlike a company, a foundation can in and of itself not undertake commercial activity.

However, a foundation can own a business. In the case of a trust, the company would be owned by the trustee but in the case of a foundation, the owner on record would be the foundation.

In a foundation, ownership of assets are surrendered to a foundation, which is supervised by a council. Foundations usually have beneficiaries. The exact structure of a foundation is laid out in its founding documents.

Offshore/Second Citizenship

Obtaining citizenship in a tax haven is something touted by a lot of service providers as some sort of end-game solution. In reality, the benefits are quite limited and narrow. Chances are you won’t be any better off with a purchased citizenship. Obtaining through residence in a country you actually live in is usually the better route in almost all cases.

Some tax havens offer programmes where investors can obtain citizenship by investing a certain amount of money in specifically designated investment funds or property (real estate). Examples include Dominica, Saint Kitts and Nevis, and Malta. The capital requirements are several hundred thousand USD or EUR plus several thousand for dependents, and several thousand in administrative fees and other costs.

The programmes are a good source of income for jurisdictions which have made the programmes workover the years. Many have been shut down after they faced severe international criticism, notably Belize‘s. The jurisdictions that still offer it work hard to weed out undesirable individuals (criminals) from obtaining citizenship.

People who undergo these background checks and pay the money are often motivated by settling down in these tax-favourable jurisdictions, enjoy visa-free travel (in the case of Malta and the EU, access to the whole Schengen and EU/EEA areas), and the ability to for example open bank accounts without disclosing their original citizenship.

Few renounce their original citizenship.

Tax and Law

What does the rule book say about all this?

Legality

Many websites are quick to point out that neither forming an offshore company nor opening a bank account outside of your home jurisdiction is illegal.

What is illegal is when you use your offshore company or offshore bank account to hide money or engage in illegal activities, even if such activities are legal where the company is incorporated but not where you live.

Tax Residence

This is the concept that stops most would-be offshore entrepreneurs from lawfully conducting their businesses through zero-tax offshore companies and dodge tax back home.

By and large across the world, you are required to pay tax where you live. For companies, it means they are taxed where their business activity actually place.

I go more in-depth on this topic in an article on Tax Residence.

Offshore Taxation

So how are all those gigantic corporations able to hide all their profits in tax havens and not pay any tax.

The exact answer to that costs millions in consulting fees with very good, very well-paid tax professionals around the world, who help businesses like Apple and Google reduce their tax bills by making lawful.

For one, they do occasionally get hit with back taxes and penalties.

They also have the financial means to establish tax residence and, in some cases, negotiate with governments for special rates or preapproval of complex structures.

Tax Evasion

The offshore financial industry is to many synonymous with tax evasion, which is the act of not paying lawfully owed taxes.

Initiatives such as FATCA by the US and CRS/AEOI (Common Reporting Standard / Automatic Exchange of Information) by OECD is making tax evasion increasingly difficult.

I go into more detail in an article on tax evasion: Dark Side Part 1: Tax Evasion.

Money Laundering

The definition of money laundering has widened over the years. Nowadays, most jurisdictions have adopted recommendations by FATF on what constitutes money laundering and laws to empower law enforcement and prosecutors to take action against money laundering.

For a deeper dive, see Dark Side Part 2: Money Laundering.

Further Reading

I have written a number of other posts which go more in-depth on the subjects discussed above.

How To Start an Offshore Company (revisited)

How to Open an Offshore Bank Account (revisited)

What You Can and Cannot Do With an Offshore Company and Bank Account

Why Banks Say No to You But Yes to Me

The Five Categories of Jurisdictions

Finding A Tax Adviser

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