#also watched Sad Boyz for... well that entire time tbh

[running-in-the-dark]

it has to be said though, I had a lovely rest of the day after my breakdown this morning. it was very cathartic. painted for like eight hours after that, and had a good time doing it.

[kpopmakesmequestionmylifechoices]

Kingdom Round 3: "Plagiarism", rigged voting and fanwars.

[Disclaimer: It is possible that for fans of certain groups I'll come off as offensive. I like each of the groups, I possess albums of TBZ, SF9 & SKZ, and I watched HOURS of content/debut programs of ALL the participating groups. Nevertheless, I will ALWAYS say my honest opinion. If you want to fight me, you're ofc allowed to do so but I hope you're all mature enough to not feel offended by opinions.]

Act 1: Tbz, where do your ideas come from?

So what I've noticed is that there's a massive difference between tbz behind the scenes and other groups'. Not only in this episode. So far, tbz simply DID NOT show how they create ideas, stages, how they practice. They picked a song, fooled around, and then met up with RTK members. It was cute sure, but it had NOTHING to do with the stage. The other groups showed practice scenes, showed their ideation process, showed who taught them and how. The boyz didn't. No practice, no ideation. Only song choice. We didn't see them practicing the choreo, we didn't see how they even got the idea for this stage. Their behind the scenes footage sadly has NOTHING to do with their performance. I really wish we could see them practicing and coming up with ideas.

Another big problem I see with this, is that they literally don't explain where their ideas come from. Now for people who know Game of Thrones (GoT hereafter), it probably appears rather obvious that the previous and also this stage was inspired by GoT, right? The white walkers? Ice and fire? The throne? The freaking red wedding??? I can't be the only one who sees a connection between their stages and GoT. ATEEZ said they were inspired by Pirates of the Carribbean. SF9 said they were inspired by film noir and showed how they worked with an actor on their storyline. iKON explained how they associate inception with dreams and put together their ideas. But TBZ didn't freaking talk about any of this. Either it was never recorded, or it never was aired. In any way, it's extremely suspicious in my eyes. Moreover it's just pretty shit to not say where your idea comes from. Especially not when you even name your stage after the iconic red wedding... Now IF they were NOT inspired by GoT, then it would be some... extremely huge coincidences... especially the stage title is just a bit too much tbh. But more to that stage later.

Edit: It came to my knowledge that according to deobis, Cre.Ker will post the content after Kingdom on tbz social media. Whoever took that decision needs to be fired tbh. If the content will be released, I'll link to it and add some few words to it.

Act 2: The good, the bad, and ... All hail king Juyeon?

Let's talk about the performances now.

SF9: What I dislike is the fact that as I stated in my previous Kingdom post, they are forced to do such dramatic musical/movie stages to even be recognized as part of the show. Moreover, I found it weird and unfitting that they held guns during the group dance parts, to me it seemed a bit off. Also, at times, their energy level seemed a bit low.

What I liked is that even tho it was a MASSIVE set, the performance still was extremely easy to understand and follow. They all looked insanely good tho, SF9 simply is mature and manly. I liked the concept, it was fresh because it for once had no fantasy vibe but actual criminal mafia energy. My favourite parts were Jaeyoon's fighting scenes because they were very well choreographed. Altogether, I really enjoyed it and also found it interesting how they referred to the Boyz crown scenes on RTK.

The Boyz: In my eyes, this is already the second GoT inspired concept they did. Not a fan of this. Moreover, I'm a bit pissed that it looks as if they are selling all that as their own ideas. As I said before, I believe this is GoT inspired, the name at least definitely was - but it's never said that the inspiration comes from there, because we literally have no information about where their ideas come from and if it's even their own ideas. To me it has the bitter aftertaste of wanting to hide sth the viewers aren't supposed to see. But this is not tbz fault but the fault of whoever writes/directs/edits their footage.

With the title of the stage given, I actually thought I'd see a wedding. But what I've seen was a woman in a bird cage. And then many more women. I failed to see what this all had to do with a wedding, and I moreover failed to see the connection to "THE" red wedding. And I failed to understand the plot once again, and because they didn't explain it beforehand, I'll never understand it.

What I liked is that the performance was way less dramatic than it was ever before. It didn't seem like a stunt show anymore, it didn't seem overdramatic anymore. It was easier to focus on the performance. Sadly, I noticed that this "downgraded" (aka slow-paced and less dramatic) stage was unfortunately underwhelming in comparison with what they did before - which was sth I predicted from beginning on. At some point you can't go bigger anymore, and if you tone it down it'll automatically seem underwhelming.

Edit: It's sad that they have this pressure to outperform themselves because they've won RTK. But honestly, it was clear that the winner would have this pressure on them. I don't see why I would pity them for this, after all, each of the groups feel pressured anyways and I rather feel sorry for ALL groups together because this whole ranking/competition thing is just unnecessarily stressful. But once again, I don't understand why you all blame MNET for this. Don't forget that the companies have contracts with MNET and knew that shit would go down. If you blame any bigger instances, then please also the companies who put their idols on the show. It's not like they got forced to make their groups participate.

My biggest criticism this time however is the fact that they give the most screentime to Juyeon (and Sunwoo because of the rap parts), and the rest of the members barely appear, or basically aren't shown at all. I already felt before that there was a strong focus on Juyeon, but now it's srly showing very clearly. I really like Juyeon, but I don't find it fair. I think that doesn't do justice to the other members, which deserve screentime as well. In conclusion, tbz on kingdom is an extreme mess in my eyes, with lots of communication- and management flaws.

iKON: I belong to the group of people who heavily prefers THANXX over inception, so I was a bit sceptical about the song choice. They really made a YG version out of this tho, I was pretty impressed. The stage concept was pretty nice, iKON surely knows how to use light. Now the stage seemed very inspired by Inception (the movie) which makes a lot of sense - but wasn't communicated either. Just mentioning this because I critisized tbz earlier, so I think the same applies here to some degree. I didn't recognize the song anymore tho but I found it pretty refreshing. In my eyes they did the best so far in making another group's song their own. This could have been an iKON song for sure. As always, a fun stage.

My personal ranking will follow after the other stages.

Act 3: About cheating and faking.

The Voting looks as follows:

Views: 1. SKZ 2. iKON 3. ATEEZ 4. BTOB 5. TBZ 6. SF9

Online Voting: 1. SKZ 2. SF9 3. iKON 4. BTOB 5. ATEEZ 6. TBZ

Btw if anyone knows the overall voting, please comment or send a message, because I somehow missed it?

I said it before, and I say it again, this entire voting is rigged and I totally don't care about it anymore at this point because it's absolutely not trustable. Experts didn't know about the budget differences, who even are the experts, why did SF9 get zero on-site votes, and then ofc the fans who created 50 accounts to vote...this voting is a joke. What I can totally not understand is how ATEEZ and TBZ can rank last for online voting. Sth seems off here to me, especially the fact that SF9 ranks last in views but ranks 2nd in votes? I'm sorry to say this but I think that's the result of the ZZZ fanwar. My assumption is that there must be a big mass of people who purposely voted NOT for TBZ & ATEEZ, and my guess is - no offence - that those were stays. In accordance with the fanwar, they didn't give their 2 other votes to the other ZZZ groups but to whatever other group. Or in general the ZZZ fandoms purposely not voting for each other. That would explain extremely well why SF9 could suddenly rank 2nd. I'm tired of this voting, of fanwars and all this drama and I decided to not care about the official voting anymore.

If you got to this point, I wanna let you know that I feel very blessed that you made it through this long post hahaha. Thanks! And for the next week, I expect BIG THINGS. I'm the most excited for BTOB. Them covering back door is the most absurd thing I've imagined for a long time hahahaha. But Eunkwang with tattoos really is a good sight, isn't it ;)?

[wavesmp3]

eye choose number 13 + anyone you want! i tried to choose the driest one mwhahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhaagaga

[breaking the rules]  13. the first glass of fresh water - sangyeon (the boyz) x reader - dystopian au | wc. 1.3k - a/n: hehe choco i’m actually really glad you chose this prompt for the reason you did, it sort of became a challenge for myself like how much can i twist the prompt into something wild and tbh i had wayyy too many ideas for what this could be, but the one I went with is set in the same world and loosely related to “you hide; i’ll seek”

��

sangyeon is a rule follower. 

so when someone above his pay grade tells him to give you, the capital’s most recent prisoner and alleged arson of the embassy building, a glass of water and nothing else, he does exactly that. of course it doesn’t help that you down the glass too fast, too eagerly. as if it’s the first glass of fresh water you’ve had in years. it doesn’t help that you hold the empty glass upside above your mouth, waiting for even the very last drop to fall in. and it certainly doesn’t help that you meet his eyes from across the cell, hold out the dry glass, and whisper, “please. one more.” 

sangyeon is a rule follower. even when every ounce of his consciousness tells him not to be one. 

—

sangyeon learns pretty quickly that you’ll probably never grow to like him. 

he figures that when you refuse to get up as he brings you food for the third day in a row, it’s probably better that you’re ignoring him completely rather than screaming in his face or throwing glass at his feet like some have done before. 

and there’s one particular morning where you must be too hungry to wait, that you meet him by the door of the cell as he slides the tray towards you. 

“the least they could do,” you mutter scornfully reaching for the glass of water first, “is give us some good food.” 

sangyeon doesn’t say anything in the moment, isn’t even sure you wanted him to hear. and yet despite that, he finds himself sneaking some of the guard food onto your tray before handing you your next meal. 

—

“you know there’s this saying,” you murmur one day when sangyeon comes to deliver you a meal and a glass of water as he’s told to do, “down in the basing district. people say that if you end up at the peaks, you’re as good as dead.” 

sangyeon had heard the lanier prisons called that before. he assumes the name comes from the mountain range surrounding it. a prison in between the peaks. but he’s less surprised by the name you call his dreaded place of work, and more surprised by the fact that you’ve even spoken to him with what sounds like a little less venom than before. 

“are you from there?” he asks swiping his id tag against the scanner to open the tray slot of your cell door. “the basing district?” 

“yeah.” you return, standing up from the corner of the cell. you reach for the water first. “just one glass?” 

you down the entire drink before he can even respond. “it’s the rule.” and after a moment of your blank stare taunting him further, he adds: “not really my call to make.” 

“and so what? you just blindly follow every rule you’re told?” 

“well, no i-“ he stops himself. suddenly noticing something different about your hair. between the cell bars, just barely, sangyeon can see that you’ve made the effort to style it today. “yeah.” he finally responds. “i guess i do.” 

you laugh, a low sound that reminds sangyeon of spite more than anything else. you grab the tray from the slot, and walk back to your corner muttering, “must make for an easy, privileged life then.” 

and with the way you say it, sangyeon can’t say for sure he knows what you mean. 

—

“i had this friend back in basing,” you tell sangyeon on his break as he pours you a second glass of water, “who made the best cookies and tea.”

he hands you a cracker and takes one for himself. “what’s his name?”

“if i told you i’d have to kill you?”

sangyeon stops mid-bite, sits back slightly, and stares at you staring at him gravely. for a second, he’d forgotten that you’re technically a prisoner. “oh.”

your face suddenly crumbles in laughter. “i’m kidding. his name was jacob.” 

“was?” 

sangyeon’s never heard a laugh die so quickly. 

—

walking you to your daily interrogations is one of sangyeon’s newer responsibilities. it’s a job he’s done before, definitely not one he’s fond of. but for some reason, making the walk from the cells to the interrogation rooms, feels inexplicably foreign when he does it with you.

sangyeon’s been told time and time again to never initiate conversation with the prisoners, and yet today he almost doesn’t resist the urge to ask how you feel. luckily, you start talking before sangyeon can break one of his rules. “these interrogations are pointless really.” you mutter, and as impossible as it seems, he thinks you sound a little bit sad. he frowns. “it’s always the same questions.”

you reach the door to the room before sangyeon can make out a response. 

the interrogation rooms are small. tiny really. with four black walls, a small table in the middle, two plastic chairs, and a two-way mirror on the farthest wall. usually, after dropping the prisoners off, sangyeon leaves from this wing of the lanier prisons, scurries away from his least favorite part of the peaks as fast as he can. but today, sangyeon finds himself seated alone on the other side of the two-way mirror, watching you fiddle uncomfortably in between your handcuffs. you both wait for the interrogator to come. 

she does eventually, and she looks exhausted more than anything. she follows the rules, almost as precisely as sangyeon does, first hooking you up to the lie-detector, test-running the signals, and finally starting the recorder before having said a single word. 

“okay,” she gruffs, flipping a page in her binder, “let’s just get this over with.”

the interrogation goes faster than sangyeon had imagined it would. he finds himself thinking back to what you had said before entering the room, about the questions being the same, and realizes that you were telling the truth. sangyeon feels like a spectator to a dance of some sort, like he’s watching you both run through a routine that you’ve been practicing for too long. 

“your id number?” she asks. 

“319507.” the machine flashes green. 

“your name?” 

“don’t have one.” red. 

“are you from the mei district?” 

no, sangyeon thinks to himself remembering the conversation you once shared. 

“you mean the wastes?” you scoff. 

the interrogator sighs. “are you from the mei district, also known as the wastes?”

“yes.” green. 

“do you know someone by the name of yoon jeonghan?”

“no.” red.

“were you ever in contact with joshua hong?”

“no.” green.

“is jacob bae dead.”

“no.” red.

“have you ever heard of the Resistance?”

“yes.” red. 

“are you a member of the Resistance?”

“maybe?” 

“are you a member of the Resistance? yes or no?”

“yes.” green.

“did you know they had plans to infiltrate the lanier prisons?”

“yes.” red.

“did you know they had plans to set fire to the embassy building in the basing district?”

��no.” green.

“did you set fire to the embassy building?”

you falter at that. pausing for the first time since beginning. hesitating for what the interrogator must think is a second too long. suddenly, you look up, eyes glazed over as if watching your reflection in the two-way mirror. it just so happens that your eyes find sangyeon. 

finally, you answer: “no.” 

and with the way you say it, sangyeon knows it’s the truth 

(the machine flashes red.) 

—

it’s a few days after that particular interrogation that sangyeon has the guts to ask. 

“did you do it?” he begins timidly.

“do what?”

“burn the embassy building?” 

he meets your eyes, and for a while you don’t answer, you just stare back. 

finally, taking a sip from your glass of water, you say to sangyeon, “i think you already know.”

sangyeon takes a sip from his own glass, and somehow, it feels like the first. 

you’re right, about a lot of things really, but concerning this, specifically, you’re right: sangyeon does know. he also knows that he’s a rule follower. except that when he finds himself sneaking back towards your cell after his shift with a stolen set of keys and an id tag that doesn’t belong to him, he supposes he hasn’t been much of a rule follower since the day he met you. 

[shes-soparticular]

I adore you for all of the music references in your fics. Do you have a playlist?

I adore you for noticing and asking this question! Like mostwriters, I rely on music BIG TIME for inspiration. I don’t have any playlistscreated, but here’s a little masterlist of songs I’ve referred to in my writingthat usually play some kind of role. Warning, it ended up way longer than Irealized lol

Darling, So it Goes“Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis Presley – Okay, don’t we ALL fantasizeabout Shawn singing this song to us acapella? That old clip of him singing it?Kill me. The title of this one-shot comes from that song as well, of course.

Take Me Back to theStart“The Scientist” by Coldplay – I think this would be Shawn’s go-to breakup song,the one he’d play on repeat to try to process his feelings. Which is exactly whatI had him do when he and Alex hit the rocks. Naturally, that’s where the titlecomes from as well.

Every Little Part ofMe is Holding on to Every Little Piece of You

“End of the Road” by Boyz II Men – Just as The Scientist isShawn’s go-to heartache song, Alex’s is End of the Road. Her mantra is “if thelove don’t feel like 90s R&B, I don’t want it”. Also, I have to admit I kindof stole this from my OG crush Seth Cohen, as that was his “play on repeat”breakup song.

“Water Runs Dry” by Boyz II Men – Alex’s backup song to cryto, which is playing when Shawn shows up.

“I’ll Make Love to You” by Boyz II Men – Sensing a theme? Luckily,Boyz II Men is there for you both in times of sadness and times of makeup sex. Andas Shawn knows, Alex cannot resist a slow jam.

“Tough” by Lewis Capaldi – I took the title from the lyricsof this song. Lewis Capaldi is one of my favorite artists to listen to forangst/fluff inspiration.

Wouldn’t Fall forSomeone I Thought Couldn’t Misbehave

“Nobody” by Hozier – This one-shot is all about Shawn’sjealousy over her fangirling for Hozier. So it was a no-brainer to choose aHozier lyric as the title, which comes from this song.

“Movement” by Hozier – I don’t call this song out by name,but it’s the one I imagine her teasing him to in the car. It’s just a hell of asultry song and would have definitely driven Shawn even further up the wall.

Put in Work

“All Mine” by Kanye West – As we ALL know by this point, Kanyeis Shawn’s go-to gym music. When it comes to a one-shot that’s literallyuncalled for fantasy gym smut, what song would have been more fitting? Yeah, you supermodel thick, damn, that assbustin’ out the bottom, I'ma lose my mind in it. Definitely the wordspounding through Shawn’s airpods while watching Alex on the stair climber.

Bonus: “Skin” by Rihanna – Alex is a freak too, let’s bereal. Although I didn’t mention it in the fic, her gym play list is 100% heavyon Rihanna. This is the song that ends up on repeat anytime she watches Shawnlifting.

Might Just Be MyEverything and Beyond

“What’s Your Fantasy” by Ludacris ft Shawna – If you’re alate 90s baby and don’t know this song? You won’t understand how ridiculous itis that it’s Alex’s go-to karaoke song.

“Beyond” by Leon Bridges – For one, this is an altogetherbeautiful song. I listened to the acoustic version non-stop while writing thisone-shot and thus it’s where the title comes from. Just the kind of fluffyboyfriend vibes I imagined Shawn feeling waiting for his girl to come home.

“Lost in Japan – Remix” – Okay, ya’ll know this one. But I’mmentioning it anyways since it pops up in the insta story of Alex jamming outto it pool side, a proud girlfriend hyped for her man.

Slow Burn

“There’s No Way” by Lauv ft Julia Michaels – This songinspired the entire fic, tbh. It’s the definition of a Slow Burn song.

“American Girl” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers – Only mentionedin passing, but Shawn and co realize at some point early in the European legthat if you play this song? Alex loses her fucking shit. Even if she’s having abad time, cranky, pissy, argumentative, what have you – this song gets her to shoutalong and dance like the happiest little bean on earth. So it becomes a runninggag for them to play it whenever possible, just to watch the only American chickin the bar go nuts.

“Free Fallin’” by Top Petty and the Heartbreakers (but alsohave the live John Mayer cover in mind) – As slightly established in the firstchapter, Alex is a huge Petty fan. In chapter six, this is the song Shawn isattempting to teach her on the guitar. The one she’s too impatient to learn andmakes him just play for her instead.

“Feels Great” – Cheat Codes ft Fetty Wap & CVBZ – I couldn’tthink of a better song for the “young crew” to be listening to during a heated pre-showping pong game in the green room. It’s just a fun fucking song about beingyoung. That’s all.

“Outta My Head” by Khalid ft John Mayer – This is the songAlex is mumbling in the elevator before everything…intensifies. No deep reason here, I just bet they’ve all beenlistening to Khalid’s new album a ton and that song is a bop. Oh, and I GUESSthe lyrics are kind of fitting…. Can youfeel the tension? You’ve got my attention, I know we’re just friends but I’drather be together.

“Power Over Me” by Dermot Kennedy – These are the lyrics Iuse in the opening of the second chapter and a song that definitely inspired my interms of Shawn’s feelings for Alex. Especially early on, when everything isstill completely unspoken. Honestly, Dermot’s music has inspired me A LOT whilewriting this fic, so check him out if you’re not familiar.

“Uh Huh” by Julia Michaels – First off, Julia is a QUEEN. Hervibe is something I picture for Alex so I listen to Julia a lot particularlywhen writing more deeply from Alex’s point of view. Hence using it as theopening lyrics for chapter three. This is definitely a song that demonstrateshow Alex’s mind and body are at odds over her feelings for Shawn.

“Lost” by Dermot Kennedy – Again, on a constant Dermot kick.His lyrics are so poetic and it’s impossible not to take inspiration from him.I used his lyrics to open chapter four and I think they perfectly describe theatmosphere of that night in Krakow. I particularly love the lyric “since thatnight the moon has never looked the same” which I think perfectly puts the wayShawn and Alex both feel after that turning point of a night, dancing oncobblestone streets in the moonlight. Yep. Lost in feels again.

“Can I Be Him” by James Arthur – The perfect song about aguy falling for a girl that’s already attached. Because using TYB would havebeen to on the nose, haha.

“Peer Pressure” by James Bay ft Julia Michaels – If you’veread chapter six, it’s pretty obvious why I used these lyrics to start itoff. Generally, it’s another song I’ve listened to a lot while writing Slow Burn.It seems fitting for two people that are used to being in control of themselvesand their emotions but losing that control and giving into one another.

Look How They ShineFor You (Slow Burn Bonus)

“Yellow” by Coldplay – This song is a HUGE part of this littleblurb and I highly recommend listening to it while you read that one. It’sbeautiful as a piano cover and if you’ve ever heard the Vitamin String Quartetversion??? Jesus. Let’s just say that’s going to be the song Alex walks downthe aisle to someday. Now I’m all in my feels.

BONUS: Current Songson Repeat While I Write

Pretty much all of Lizzo’s “Cuz I Love You” album. It puts me in a kickass mood. That’s all.

“Falling like the Stars” by James Arthur – It’s just a sweetsong that makes me want to write Shawn and Alex all loved up.

“Wilderness” by Jon Bryant – See above. A song that makes mea soft little puddle of inspo.

“Can I be Honest?” by Anatu ft Zubi – I don’t know how Istumbled across this song but it’s fucking fantastic and you should listen toit.

“Night Moves” by Bob Seger – Alex is a classic rock junkie,if she could time travel she’d head straight back to the 70s (possibly the 60sso she could live through both decades). That’s her entire aesthetic, honestly.This is the type of song she puts on to dance around her hotel room while Shawnbegs her to hurry up and get ready to leave.

“Drive” by The Cars – Honestly, this is just a personalfavorite of mine because there’s something so 80s RomCom about being drivenhome by a guy you have romantical tension with. Maybe it just very, veryspecifically relates to my high school experience. A song that puts me in a starry-eyed,butterflies in the stomach type of writing mood.