#also white people you are not entitled to knowing my korean name! thanks :)

[butterbeeryuta]

You

Inspired by Netflix original series, 'You.'

yuta x reader | stalker!yuta au | smut, thriller | 6.0 k

warning: mention of drugs, profanity, death, stalker behaviour, sex scene

Note: Sometimes, you have to do what is right. It may not be right for you, or anyone else, but hey, ethics is a tough area of study. In the end, we all have our own personal morals anyway. It’s called egoism. Believe me, I’m doing this for you. Just hang on, we’ll meet, and you will be mine.

Ah, I was waiting for you. Three twenty-four p.m. every Wednesday and Friday. For the rest of the days, you either have work at the clothing store as a sales clerk and English assistance, or at the café if their pancakes are on sale. But, today is Friday. You walked in the library rather silently if I have to say. I’ve been observing you since last year when you entered this university from a TA’s perspective. Today, you were wearing a button-up shirt tucked into your jeans, so it can be assumed that you take a business related course—maybe economics, or business studies. But, I know you don’t. You’re in your second year of university taking biochemistry hoping to be a pharmacist to help your adopted older brother, Lucas, recover from his drug addiction. You have a really caring and supportive father who will do anything for his children, and that is because he does not know about your brother’s condition. He thinks that your brother is doing fantastic studying marine biology abroad in Australia, when he is actually living with you and your roommate in Seoul still figuring who the hell he is. As per your mother, nobody knows I guess. Nobody really knows, and neither do you. But, let’s pretend I do not know that for now.

Your eyes were looking for where to sit. You looked unsure if you should sit next to Kim Eunseo, the third year student in the acting department known for vomiting on her boyfriend, or the empty spot in front of me, the teacher assistant for chemical thermodynamics. Or maybe, you want to sit beside Na Jaemin, the heartthrob freshman of Hanyang University. The boy was perfect; pretty face, honey-like voice, and takes media studies and journalism under a 50% scholarship. But, I am better. I am better for you, and not that heartthrob, and neither is your ‘small’ crush on Dong fucking Sicheng who also happens to like you. Your eyes scanned over the empty seats, and for whatever god or spirit that was listening to me, you seemed to walk over to my space. Good job, you’re taking the initiative to come near me. It’s good progress my dear.

‘Hi, Yuta right? Is it alright if I can use the socket in front of you for my iPad?’ So that was the reason. Maybe next time you will willingly sit near me because of me, and not for that device of yours. And it’s been almost two years my love, how are you still so unsure about my name?

‘Yeah, of course, here let me plug it in for you… y/n right?’ That’s good Yuta, do the same thing your loved one does. You smiled brightly in return, nodding your head in approval. You should smile more my dear, it looks wonderful on you. So much more wonderful than the sorrowful and heavy eyes you have whenever you come home when having to deal with that gigantic brother of yours from both family and school stress. But trust me, all of this pain and pressure will all be lifted once you fall into my arms. I will keep you safe and loved. Your hand reached out of your bag for the charger, the white wire coiling against your smooth skin. My dear, the things you do so innocently can mean something else for people like me. Imagine your vulnerable and frail little body tied up against the bed with a white rope, it will look so good against your skin. For a person so intelligent academically, I wonder why you have a crush on a man who just so happens to like you back. He’s such as ass acting all cute and innocent when in reality he just wants you to teach him and give your notes just so that he can pass Biology 101. Your hand, or I guess the charger, made its way to mine, our skin touching for a brief second. Our first time holding hands.

‘Thank you so much. And just for the record, I do know that your name is Yuta. You’re the TA for chemical thermodynamics. And also because that was the class I got highest in’ you added, smiling shyly as you look at your iPad, probably a digital copy of your polymer chemistry textbook. Of course you got the highest in that subject. Yes you are intelligent, highly intelligent if I have to say, but a 97% as an average may slightly be an exaggeration in comparison to your original average of a 83%.

‘Ah yes of course. 97% in chemical thermodynamics, how can I ever forget you.’ I added with a smile.

‘Surprisingly yeah. I genuinely thought material chemistry was my best, but now I guess it’s thermodynamics.’ You added. You’re not lying. Material chemistry was, and still is your best. You’re doing great in all subjects love, so you do not need to worry about that. It’s just your fucked up brother, and your insufferable crush.

‘Well you did amazingly well on your test. With a brain like yours, you would be wanted to come join the seminars for your thesis paper you’ll write in the next 2 years.’ You only smiled in return, your go-to-move when you just want to start working on your stuff. I saw that happen way too many times. For example, two years ago on the 7th of December at the café, the waiter asked for your phone number, but you only smiled and rejected in response. Last year on April 30th when you were on your trip to Jeju island with your friends, Yeeun and Sooyoung, you wanted to stay in your hotel room because you were tired, so you smiled to the girls and rejected their offer to go to beach. And what did you do instead while your friends were swimming and tanning? You masturbated while watching lesbian porn on that exact same iPad you are studying from. With that note, I let you work on whatever you had to do, while I should be checking the current materials in the lab for the lab experiment for the freshmen students. God I hate being a TA.

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It has been exactly three hours and seventeen minutes since you came, working hard on your notes as you listen to piano versions of kpop songs. You’re honestly so cute sometimes, it’s really hard to control myself and devour you. But that time shall come naturally to us one day. If not, I will ensure it will happen.

‘Hey, can I ask something?’ Are you talking to me? I looked up at the love of my life. Your eyes looking at me, very clear to me that you want something.

‘Yeah, what is it?’ Well that sounded quite rude. 

‘I know that you’re a Chemistry graduate student, and as mentioned earlier, you work as a teacher assistant. I was wondering if there is a job open at the university? I do work at the clothing store, but I sorta need more income since I have to move apartments. Anyway, um, is there a job open?’ You asked. More jobs to move? What the fuck, is your roommate kicking you out? Your voice sounded so… desperate, needy, broken. You were broken.

‘Well I doubt it you can be a TA, but I’ll see if I can get you the lab technician position, or maybe the university’s official peer tutor. I’ll see what I can do.’ And there is that beautiful smile again. Obviously I will have to actually ask the professors and administrators, but they know your reputation and capabilities love. They talk about how you’re ready to go to graduate school in an instant, and how you’ll be a great asset in the research department. I promise you, your life will be perfect the moment those two men stop dragging you, especially Lucas.

‘Thank you so, so, so, much Yuta. Here, let me give you my contact for easier access…’ Good job my dear, good job.

Wine is disgusting. The amount of tannin present is so overwhelming, leaving an unpleasant taste in your mouth. I don’t know why you like it love, but here I am in a restaurant that serves multiple different types of wine. Red, white, mulled, rose—all of which I know you will greatly enjoy. I want to question why you drink this, but I know. It’s all you ever post on that nonsensical Instagram page of yours. Wine. Wine. Wine. Sometimes there’s a splash of red, or clear bubbles coming from time to time. You’re a mess, a drunken mess. Which is why I am here; I will fix everything for you. Knowing that you texted your group chat entitled as ‘vagina power’ twenty-three minutes ago that you were on the way to the restaurant, you should walk through that door in three, two, on—

‘Excuse me, is Mr. Nakamoto Yuta here?’ Your voice asked the waitress.  Technology never fails, I can assure you that. There you were in your clothes from class today. You had medicinal chemistry, human physiology, organic chemistry, analytical chemistry, then ended the day with Korean—you must be exhausted my love. While you were apologising being late as you made your way to the table, all I could notice were your dark under eyes, the dullness in your eyes, and the slight oiliness on your scalp. You are overworked and internally dead. Despite my one year and a bit of research on you, what I could never answer was why you are working so damn hard and not letting one in to help you. Yes, I know that it is your goal to be this highly skilled pharmacist to help your brother, but you yourself knows that even without the excessive revising, you will still make it. Back in senior high school a guy named Kim Yugyeom asked you out, and you said no. You also said no to Park Jimin, Kim Jungwoo, Bang Chan, and even your first ever crush in Grade 11—Yoo Jeongyeon. She made you think girls were for you, but you still said no even if you two fucked in the laboratory because you didn’t ‘finish’ your experiment. Why do you always say no?

‘… thank you so much.’ You were still talking?

‘No problem at all. So, how’s university?’ Keep the conversation going Yuta, keep it going.

‘Well, it is challenging and heavy, but I guess I am doing fine. But now that I get the lab technician job, it will hopefully get better’ you say much more cheerfully, contrasting the tiredness and paleness of your face. You’re an unheard ghost.

‘Well that is how university is. But to congratulate you for your new job, we must make a toast!’ You raised your glass, and so do I, and we clinked. My, how can you not love this person. The moment I see you, all I want to do is hug you, protect you, and love you. If I can make you mine, treat you as my own, I will be the happiest man on the earth.

‘So how did you become a TA?’ You asked as you sipped your alcoholic beverage; your plush lips pressing so tightly against the rim of the glass cup and—Yuta, stop it. 

‘Well, I took Chemistry only for my undergrad, and a bit of IT and languages. Then the professor, Professor Seo, asked me to be his teacher assistant initially for organic chemistry. But, I hated that subject and I ended up negotiating to change my position after a month. Then I got the chemical thermodynamics TA job. It’s honestly the exact same job, but I just prefer this topic.’ This is most likely that only truth that I have told you, and you were still listening to me for every word. A true listener with a bright mind, yet not bright enough to realise I have been watching you for more than one year.

‘Well, I think that is great. But let’s move away from academics, I just had five classes straight and I will honestly evaporate into thin air if I hear the c-word again.’ You say as you slightly chuckle. Alright then, what should we talk about? The reason to why you’re leaving your apartment? Your reason to deny people’s offer when they ask you out on a date? Why you overwork yourself to death to a point where you’re affecting yourself physically? Tell me, I need to know.

‘So you wanted to leave your current apartment right? Why’s that?’ You froze for a while. Eyebrows furrowed, eyes moving to the side. Almost unsure if you should respond to my question. You do have a point though, this is by far our first oral conversation, you barely know me.

‘I can’t afford my current apartment anymore since I kind of forced my brother to be moved to the hospital. So I need to save up more money to pay for hospital bills and the cheaper apartment.’ You quietly replied, your eyes still avoiding mine.

‘Oh no, what happened to your brother?’

‘He’s sick. Mentally ill.’ Well, at least you’re not lying to me. Though you could have said that your brother was kicked out of the University of Adelaide for failing all his classes, then he moved back to Seoul with you all high and reliant on that white powdery poison. It has been two years, and he was barely improving, and you had to move him to a hospital. Why didn’t you tell your father who loves the both of you unconditionally? It was because for that exact reason—he loves the two of you unconditionally. You knew for a fact that once your father finds out that your brother is a drug addict mess, Lucas is cut from the family, and you just could not let that happen. You two grew up together, and he used to take care of you a lot when you were in high school. He helped you drive around places, or libraries per se, and he also bought you snacks and all. He seemed to be very happy and caring back then, and you do not know what happened to him the moment he touched down in Australia.

‘I’m sorry to hear that. I hope he gets better soon.’

‘Thank you, I hope he does too.’ The conversation is dying Yuta, quick, think of something.

‘So when are you planning to move?’

‘Oh um, maybe sometime in February or end of January. I will be getting my apartment keys in the next two weeks, so yeah, around those times.’ I better clean up my schedule during that time then.

‘Hey if you need help in moving, just let me know. I will be willing to help.’ Your eyes finally looked up to meet mine, slightly bigger than usual as the corner of your lips were about to rise. You were about to reject my offer.

‘I-I think it’s fine, I’ll be able to manage on my own—‘

‘No, no, I insist. You’re going through quite a bit, the least I can do is help you move in your stuff.’ You nodded instead, bringing your lips to a tight line. You’re considering my offer aren’t you?

‘Alright, I’ll let you know when I’m moving.’ You say as you comb your hair backwards with your fingers. I cannot wait to make you mine.

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It’s been about two months since we had our first proper conversation, and we have not stopped since.

‘You know, Ikea is the greatest thing that has ever came into existence.’ You say, carrying the big wooden compartment for your bed. Which will eventually be our bed, but I can wait.

‘Hmm, I remembered a few days ago you said ice cream was the greatest invention in human history.’ And it is arguably true. It’s comfort food, and keeps you happy from the amount of sugar stored in which makes your brain beg for more. It’s addicting yet unhealthy, but you cannot stop yourself. You crave it when you’re happy, sad, angry, stressed, tired— it’s designed for you to be beg, and beg, and be—

‘Ice cream is a great invention, I do not deny that. We should get ice cream afterwards once we’re done building this bed.’ You smiled at me, again. That beautiful and bright smile of yours can melt anyone my dear, you better be careful before you flash it to anyone else. ‘Anyway, we should go back to building this thing, I want to sleep tonight’ you added, moving your legs again to attach the next piece of the bed frame. Maybe I misread you a bit, you seem to work hard in everything. Not only in academics, but you’ve been doing your best in the lab, academically, ensuring your brother feels safe at the hospital, and even in making a goddamn bed frame for yourself. It is almost as if you barely take any breaks, and yet you do not seem to mind. Maybe you just enjoy to work hard.

‘Ice cream later is it then. Are you the type to eat those weird flavours like into mint chocolate or strawberry cheesecake, or some shit like that?’ Of course I knew what you liked. A few months ago, October the 12th to be exact, you went for ice cream with your lab partner, Sana, and you had chocolate only. You claimed yourself to be an avid chocolate lover. I honestly do not blame you for that.

‘I don’t think they’re weird or anything, but I just prefer to have plain chocolate. I just like chocolate in general. How about you?’

‘I’m more of a matcha type of guy.’ Another honest thing that came out of my mouth. You chuckled in response, nodding your head up and down just by a little. You want to say something don’t you? ‘What is it?’ I asked.

‘Oh, it’s nothing too bad. It’s just very Japanese of you,’ you answered, trying to snap yourself out of a giggly state. Cute. After our small chat, we eventually set up the wooden frame, and placed the mattress on top along with placing of the beige bedsheet. I can’t believe this will be the exact same bed where we’ll have our first everything, including our children. We will have two beautiful daughters: Saya and Emiko. They will be four years apart, and both girls will be at least bilingual. They will also love and cherish the both of us. With our combined intelligence, our girls will conquer the industries, wrapping the entire world in their little, delicate fingers. We will be a perfect family of four, and this bed, the one we have just made together, will be with us until the end. Just before my mind could go somewhere else, your tired body dropped on the newly made bed, feeling the softness and the warmth provided by the material.

‘I know you’re tired too Yuta, you should lay down too,’ you say with your eyes closed, both your hands interlocking with one another just above your abdomen. From what I know, you only do this when you are really tired, thinking of all sort of different scenarios. Since you asked me to anyway, I laid down beside your exhausted body, embracing the same warmth the bed is providing. ‘You know, I’ve never really had anyone over at my place since I’m so busy and all, but I’m glad you came and helped me move’ you softly say, your eyes finally open as your orbs look directly up at the plain ceiling.

‘It’s not a problem really, you do seem tired during lessons so I figured helping you a bit can hopefully ease whatever you’re going through.’ You grinned at what I said, as if you somewhat agree. I do hope it’s true my dear. You had it tough with your brother, but I will assure you that you will become the pharmacist you deserve to be.

‘You did, Yuta. You did.’ The bed slightly shifted, only to see you on your side as you look at me, and here I am looking back at you. Without hesitation, your lips pressed against mine, something I did not expect at all. Since when were you like this? Have I misread you all this time? You rejected so many different guys and one girl, yet now you are acting to brave and different in contrast to my observations and research over the past years. Although multiple questions came across my head, this does not mean I have to stop whatever you just began. 

Your warm hand made its way to my left cheek, rubbing the cheek back and forth with your thumb, almost the same gesture when you caress your loved ones. Grabbing your left leg, I pulled over my body, allowing you to sit on top of me, our bodies so close to being connected, to being united. The kiss did not break at all, in fact, it deepened. You surprisingly took the initiative to tap the velvety muscle on my bottom lip, so needy to enter the hot cavern. Maybe this is your way to ensure that you can trust me, and that somebody can love you forever. Maybe this is a process of yours to know that you will be taken care of for eternity. I deserve to be with you my love, you are everything to me, and I know I will be your everything. Your tongue eventually slipped through my lips; both our wet muscles meeting each others, exploring each others caverns for the first time. My arms were holding you tightly against my body, keeping your fragile body on top of mine—I do not want to let you go. But, how do I know that you really want this? Despite the fact that I do not want this to end, I had to pull away, just to be sure. Our mouths slowly separated with the presence of a string of wetness proving the intense session we just had. Your forehead fell against mine, your eyes clouded with lust as you pant heavily against me.

‘Do you still want to do this?’ I have to know.

‘Y-yes, please make me feel good’ you whispered against me. Fuck.

*Disclaimer: sex scene will begin from here. This will be a female x male smut scene, so if this is something you do not want to read, please scroll down until you see another disclaimer similar to this. Please keep in mind that I will write a male x male scene, so please do not feel too disappointed. I am sorry that I was not able to write it on the same day as the publication. Thank you.

Our lips reconnected again, only this time, the feeling was much more intense. I poured in all of my frustration of waiting, and the amount of love and lust I have for you my love. I flipped us over, finally seeing your sensitive and fragile body below me. You are a sight to see my dear, but only for me. I have seen the way your body trembles as your delicate fingers enter in and out of you; your legs shake uncontrollably, your free hand unconsciously slips inside your hot mouth trying to keep yourself quiet, and your beautiful face contorts in pure pleasure. I want you to do the exact same, but I want you to be louder, and I want to be the one pleasuring you. The moment our tongues touched again, I took the initiative to envelop your velvety muscle with my lips, tasting you completely, leaving you as a moaning mess under me. So you like this. I continued to do so as your hips slightly rocks back and forth, your covered sex rubbing against me. Leaving your mouth, I peppered kisses down your addictive skin, taking in the honey-like scent you had. Soft whimpers escaped your throat, clearly enjoying the amount of care and love you were receiving. You deserve this. My hands slipped under your shirt, feeling the soft and supple skin until I met your clothed breasts. Massaging the flesh against my hands, your fingers crawled up behind my neck, slowly making its way to my hair, pulling the roots so gently. My dear, you are indeed irresistible.

‘Yuta t-touch me please,’ you beg, moving your hips even rougher than before, almost as if you are trying to reach for your orgasm by yourself. I chuckled at your submissive manner, knowing exactly what to do to make you come.

‘You want to come my princess? Do you want your pretty pussy to come over my tongue? You’d like that won’t you as you beg nonstop.’ I read that on your diary, you wanted someone to go down on you and make you orgasm uncontrollably, and you want to repeat the process until you beg them to stop. My dear, you are one dirty little girl. You only whimpered in response, nodding your head vigorously. Although it would have been ideal to get a response from you, I know for a fact that the last time you got laid was five months ago with your colleague at the clothing store, Lee Minho. I hope that he is forgotten. Pulling your shirt up, I kissed down from your supple skin until I met the top of your black sweats. I slowly pulled at the strings as my eyes looked up to meet yours. There you were with your glossy and lust-filled eyes as your bite your finger, anticipating what would happen to you. Your chest was heaving up and down as I pulled at your pants, only to reveal you in your sheer white bra and panties. What a fucking sight. Pulling your legs apart, a visible wet patch was displayed, showing a clear outline of your pink lips begging to be destroyed.

‘I haven’t even touched your greedy little hole and yet you are so wet princess.’ Before you could even say anything, my tongue made contact with the soaked cloth, tasting the sweet essence as a moan of relief escaped your throat. Continuing to lick up and down against your clothed sex, your fingers made it to the roots of my hair as your slowly rock your core against my face. Your moans slowly turned louder and louder, and all I can say is, I was definitely going to implode. Allowing you to take control of me, your legs started to tremble on either side of my head as the tip of my tongue was on your covered clitoris. To further intensify the feeling, I pulled your barely existing panties to the side, sucking on your clit, tasting you properly, eating you out like a starved man.

‘Fuck!’ You screamed, legs shaking vigorously as your fingers left my hair for your lips. Without letting you rest, I grabbed both of your legs, pushing my tongue into your dripping entrance, pathetically clenching around it. What a fucking whore. Moans and sounds of me eating your core filled the room, and whoever is living beside you is surely going to know you as a slut. ‘Y-yuta shit I’m coming again,’ you moaned, your head thrown back against the pillow underneath you. Pulling the warm velvet out of your sticky cavern, I slipped in two fingers, moving in and out of you as I watch you in pure euphoria. Just like that, your legs closed and shook, screaming for the second time tonight. Taking out the fingers, I slowly made my way up to your fucked out body, only to see your lips red from the biting, as well as your teary eyes from your orgasms. I pushed the fingers through your lips, and like the good girl you are, you immediately sucked in my fingers, leaving me to imagine all the things you can do with that sweet little mouth of yours.

‘Fuck me please, god I need you in me’ you say breathing heavily, as if trying to understand how you were coping with two orgasms in one go. You said you needed me. Kissing you one more time, I finally unzipped my pants, releasing the solid member that sprung against my lower abdomen. As I removed my sweater, your eyes were staring at the red tip whereas your licked your bottom lip.

‘I’m going to enter alright,’ I whispered beside your ear, peppering feather-like kisses on your face. You froze a bit in place, though I was not exactly sure why. You did not seem to say anything, but it may be because you are finally being with the man who truly deserves you. Placing myself on your dripping hole, I looked at you one last time before anything else goes wrong, or if I miscalculated everything.

‘Just put it in Yuta, I’m on birth control, no need to worry’ you impatiently said, waiting to be filled and feel immense pleasure. Taking in your words, I slowly pushed myself in you, trying my best not to hurt you or bring you to any sort of pain. But my god, were you tight. Your velvet-like walls enclosed around my hard cock, almost impossible for me to go further in. You gasped loudly, pulling yourself closer to me as you held your hands behind my neck, feeling every once of me. ‘Oh my fucking god, I’m so full.’

I pushed myself further with one of my hands on your lower abdomen to keep you stable. ‘Shit you’re so tight, stop me if I go to harsh on—‘

‘Just fuck me Yuta, I don’t want to go gentle, please just do it.’ What?

*Disclaimer: smut scene has ended.

‘Y/n how else will I make love to you if you want to go rough on our first time?’ I asked, trying my best not to lose my temper. Why on earth do you want to go rough? Isn’t that why the reason you rejected all of those guys so that you can finally be with the one that truly deserves you, and can protect you from anything? Your eyes only grew wide at what I said, slowly pushing yourself off me.

‘Make love? Yuta, we’ve only started talking for like two months, what do you mean make love?’ You asked, successfully pushing yourself off of me, slowly pulling the blanket to cover yourself. Why are you acting like this?

‘You kissed me on your newly made bed, what else was I suppose to thi—‘

‘I was only asking for a quick fuck, not a whole love-making session Yuta. I think you should go home and rethink what you just said, I don’t think you’re in your right mind right now.’ How can you say that? I have loved you since you entered the class with, asking thought provoking questions to the professor. I have loved you since you were at the lab, working on your experiment until eight in the evening. I have loved you since you helped that customer in your shop many months ago, trying your best to communicate with the old woman in her mother tongue. You were always so patient, hard-working, and submissive— how can I not love you?

‘No! I do mean it, I do love you. How can I not? You always work so hard and made sure that you and your brother, and your academics were both in good condition. You are my dream, how can I not love you?’

‘Yuta, you’re saying the most insane shit. Please leave. What happens between me and my brother and my studies only should be limited to me, and not you’ you answered, not believing any word I said.

‘I am being normal, you’re just too busy and stubborn to believe anything I am saying! I have taken so much good care of you. I helped you get a job, I paid for all the meals and snacks we had together, I helped make your fucking bed, and you repay me by being your fuck buddy?’ You were infuriating. You were not like this when I watched you on a daily basis.

‘Well I’m sorry if you thought that I was trying to make you as my boyfriend or something, but I do not have time for that Yuta. I am truly sorry if that is what you thought, and if you do not want to see me anymore, I completely understand that—‘

‘No! You rejected Kim Yugyeom, Park Jimin, Kim Jungwoo, Bang Chan, Yoo Jeongyeon, and you do not let anyone else to love you. Is it because you’re too busy taking care of your drug addict of a brother?’ Your eyes grew wider than it already was, your mouth left agape unsure of how to react. Shit.

‘H-how do you know all of t-these things?’ Your voice was shaking, the fear on your face clearly visibly.

‘That’s not m-my point. What I am trying to say is—‘

‘Yuta, have you been stalking me?’ Yes, I have.

‘What? No, I wasn’t. You’re dodging my question again.’ Shit, Yuta. Think, think, think.

‘Then how do you know about my brother?’ You asked, fear and shock still evident on that beautiful face of yours. I made my way to her, gently cupping your face in my hand.

‘I h-heard about it from s-somewhere—‘

‘Get your hands off me! Tell me how you know all about this!’ You shouted, ripping my hands off of you. Without thinking, my hand came in contact with your skin. Loudly.

I slapped you.

A bright red mark was left on your face, eyes filled with tears, unsure if it was from the pain, or from our argument.

‘Shit, no, I didn’t mean that. Fuck, okay, y/n, let’s talk about this like adults’ I said, trying my best to diverge her thoughts away from what just happened. But I know that it will not work, you are one of the smartest people to exist, and you do not let yourself down easily like that.

‘Get the fuck out Yuta. You’re insane.’ Why are you not listening to me? I grabbed your body, leaving you to scream for help, pleading to be freed away from me— but I am not letting that happen. You are mine. I tightly wrapped my hand against your throat to make you shut up, making sure that you listen and concentrate on every word that I will say to you. You need to be disciplined love, especially if we will be together.

‘I need to know why you’re acting like this otherwise we will not be a happy couple. You are my everything, and I should be yours. I made you enter a world of euphoria with my mouth alone just a few moments ago, and you rejecting my love and pushing me away will not work. I have loved you the moment my eyes laid on you, and I need you to love me back’ I explained, watching your face slowly lose colour as your screams died down, but I do not care. You need to listen to my every word and acknowledge it. ‘You will be my partner for the rest of your life, and so will I. We will have two beautiful daughters, and you will also be able to help Lucas medically without letting your father know. But before we can do any of that, you need to be disciplined and I am here for that. Do you understand me?’

No response.

‘I said do you understand me.’

Still no response.

Your face was pale, eyes were closed, body cold. You were lifeless. Y/n,  we were supposed to be together forever. We were supposed to have children, have you become a pharmacist, we were supposed to be in love together. Holding your lifeless body in my arms, I rocked your bare body back and forth— you’re not dead my love, you’re just resting. Yes, you’re resting.

‘Y-you’re not dead. I was just teaching you a lesson, but you seemed to become tired. It’s okay, we’ll do it another time. I love you so so much, I will never hurt you my love. Never.’ A dark laugh left my throat as tears rolled down my face. I finally had you in my arms, finally.

a/n: WEEEEEE i wrote that???? okay umm while i’ll be too busy screaming at myself for writing THAT scene, i hope everyone enjoyed it despite the fact that mcfucking yuta was a creep, but yeAhhhH. i am honestly quite paranoid after finishing ‘you’ cause i keep thinking that someone is in the house, but not really, but yeah... the show was good though. let me know if you also watched it cause i would really like to talk about it with you. and also, HAPPY NEW YEAR! i hope ya’ll had a fun time celebrating it. 

明けましておめでとうございます！今年もよろしくお願いします。今まで英語だけで話を作ったので、今年日本語でやってみたいと思います。

祝你新年快乐！万事如意也心想事成❤️

[renlopezpietro]

it’s ani again and this is my seemingly softer child, juliet. she barely has a pinterest board yet but i’ll link it when i get that up and going. bullet points under the cut!

born and raised in la, juliet has basically zero notion of her korean roots, much to her dismay. her dad passed away when she was a baby and her mom remarried suspiciously fast to a very white dude, giving her a stepsister that juliet hated at first but grew to adore. they became close through basically figuring out their parents had been seeing each other for years before they had a chance to marry thanks to juliet’s dad dying bc investigating that had them spending so much time together they ended up liking each other.

her dad was filthy rich bc he was a famous fashion designer and her mom did her best to keep the brand alive, though it was a struggle bc he was the one with the big ideas. luckily for them, it was a name big enough by the time of his death that people still pay ridiculous prices for clothes even if they’re not as original or pretty anymore.

juliet loves painting and she loves little kids so her ideal dream would be to teach at a primary school while getting to work on her art on her free time

she’s a bit entitled and vain and very oblivious about these facts but she’s also the nicest human being you’ll ever meet, and a bit naive. she faces everything with a smile and pure optimism. pure sunshine, except when she’s angry or heartbroken. bit overdramatic (and by bit i mean… a lot). the ultimate scorned lover.

juliet is, above all things, a romantic. she believes in fairy tale love and has had her heart broken a billion times, mostly through her own fault bc she tends to put a halo on people before she actually gets to know them. will fall in love with a rock. hasn’t ever had a single one night stand that didn’t upset her terribly. amazing at life advice, terrible at love advice.

very into having sleepovers with girlfriends watching mean girls and getting drunk on mimosas

dances in her free time and briefly considered making a career out of it, starting college for it in california, but she had to transfer due to circumstances and it seemed better to jst start a whole new leaf. she’s a cheerleader though.

she lived with tatiana since her first day in college and they loved each other... or at least that’s what you’d think, if you only knew them through their social media. anyone who was semi close to them knows juliet and her had a love-hate relationship, going from being soulmates to wanting to murder each other in their sleep in a second, but they still stuck together somehow. 

her insta feed is the ultimate most important thing in her life

is actually a real person with layers and depth and issues but she’d rather pretend she’s escaped a teen movie about cheerleaders and ignore anything about herself that isn’t picture perfect

obviously give me romantic connections, ex partners, confused people who thought they barely had a fling and got treated as if they’d broken off a three year long relationship when they ghosted her, unrequited crushes who dont get why she’ll fall in love with plants but not them, BUT more importantly, give me friends, bffs, bad influences, art buddies who wish she’d stop talking abt her love life but put up with her bc she always brings baked goods to class, someone who takes advantage of her? she’s got a nice credit card and is bad at saying no to people when they ask her for things. someone who hates her for being such a classic rich girl? idk the world’s your oyster

[twtrv]

an accurate guide about red velvet

So since so many people are getting into Red Velvet recently, I decided to make a guide to help them out. You know, give yall some slack because learning five names is super hard. A guide accompanied by my half-assed jokes, interesting. 

PSA: If you’re only here to stan the girls because of their recent comebacks like Peek-A-Boo and Bad Boy and are going to drop them as soon as they release tracks similar to Dumb Dumb and Ice Cream Cake, leave because we don’t want you here.

Now that we got that out of the way, let’s get straight to business (TO DEFEAT THE HUNS WHY DID THEY SEND ME DAUGHTERS WHEN I ASKED FOR SONS)

Basic Facts

Red Velvet is a South Korean girl group formed by SM Entertainment in 2014.

There are five members (OT4 stans can choke).

They debuted on August 1st in 2014 with a single called “Happiness”.

Fandom name is Reveluv. Since “rêve” means “dream” in French, the meaning behind the fandom name is that us, Reveluvs, make their dreams come true and Red Velvet gives us their immense love in return, thus the “luv” part. Sometimes they also call us “Luvies”.

Official fandom colour is pastel coral and not red because l o g i c

The fact that they were formed by SM Entertainment doesn’t mean they got a free ride to the top so sit your entitled asses down, thanks.

Now, you see, they weren’t actually supposed to debut in 2014. I bet you must be confused but don’t worry, it is I, your trusty homie, that is gonna help you realize how many similarities every student has with SM lmao plus the reason for their early debut.

2014 was a rough year for our buddy Lee Soo Man. Jessica left Girl’s Generation; Sulli left f(x); Kris, Tao and Luhan left EXO... This, of course, caused a goddamn World War III amongst the fans of the respective groups. They were about to go in front of the official SM building with torches and pitchforks to demand SM to step up their game. To calm the situation down, our amigo SM must have thought: “Welp I sure fucked up. How the hell do I fix this? Wait, I have an idea! Let’s debut another girl group to cover up all the shit that has been piling up for years now!” 

And your boi gone and did it. He basically debuted another group despite the number of problems he had to deal with already. This is every student ever, just make another problem to cover up the first one.

Red Velvet debuted with four members; Irene, Seulgi, Wendy and Joy. The “Happiness” music video got 2 million views in a day and was the most viewed kpop music video for the month of August in 2014. See, the queens already breaking records.

However, the original version of “Happiness” was full of controversial topics such as 9/11 being the most prominent one. This caused such hate to the girls that everyone started calling them “flops”. Lmao Red Velvet stays unbothered as the kpop act with the most Billboard charted albums bYE.

Some of you still may be wondering what the hell happened with Yeri. Well, because their debut was rushed and due to her age, Yeri, unfortunately, couldn’t debut with them. When Red Velvet debuted, Yeri was 15 years old so basically a child. 

“bUt jiSUnG fROM ncT DreAM dEBuTed wHeN hE WAs onlY FoUrteEn”

Before, there was a law which stated that kids under the age of 16 couldn’t debut.

No need to worry fellow Yeri stans! Red Velvet only released another single called “Be Natural” before Yeri was officially added. The single featured NCT’s Taeyong on it too so if you are one of those fangirls, better go and check it out because your oppar is there + it is an underrated bop.

Yeri was added to the group during Ice Cream Cake era! Of course, many people hated her, acting as if Red Velvet released so many songs and solved world hunger without Yeri. Um, bitch they had two songs take a seat.

Discography and music in general lol

IT IS GOLD!1!!!!111!!

Okay listen, every single song of theirs makes me thot-drop in the middle of the goddamn school. Jesus Christ sunbaenim is shaking.

Albums:  Ice Cream Cake, The Red, The Velvet, Russian Roulette, Rookie, The Red Summer, Perfect Velvet, The Perfect Red Velvet.

Queens of naming their albums don’t even @ me.

Listen to every single song if you want to cure your depression, clear your skin, feed your children and harvest your crops. Seriously, all of their b-sides are so amazing and such bops they are worth a listen and you, as a person who chose to stan Red Velvet, deserve to have your ears cleansed.

Another topic that I want to bring up is “the red concept” and “the velvet concept”. It is not complicated. Basically what it means is that they split their concepts into two. The red concepts are more upbeat, catchy and poppy songs such as Dumb Dumb, Rookie, Russian Roulette etc. However, the velvet concept is where they show their mature, more serious ballads. Songs that represent the velvet side are Automatic, One of These Nights, Peek-A-Boo etc.

They filmed 13 music videos so you are going to get attacked by visuals 13 times, good luck.

The members 

The most interesting and fun part of this guide to be honest. So yeah, five members and five completely different personalities. Trust me, you’re gonna love every single one of these girls because they all have such amazing personalities and are extremely funny. Get abroad the homo express!

- Stage name: Irene

- Real name: Bae Joohyun

- Colour: Pink

- Position: Leader, Visual, Main Rapper, Lead Dancer, Vocal

- She really is a bae tho we love a powerful woman

- Born on March 29th, 1991; the eldest

- She literally looks five what the fuck

- tiny

- Takes pictures of everyone and everything so that she can stare at them while she does the laundry because she is such a mom

- “Shut the fuck up I am not a mom”

- A GODDESS PLUS TOP VISUAL OF THIS GENERATION NO PRINTER JUST FAX

- loves pussy

- Drinks men tears to stay hydrated

- Forgets names of her kids aka the rest of Red Velvet

- Snorts laundry detergent

- Talk shit get hit

- Silent but plotting world domination with her at the top

- Speaking of tops, she doms bYE

- She survived the World War II and was Stalin's deskmate when they were in the third grade

- xXButtLoverXx

- Likes winning. Who got to the finish line first? Her. Who travelled to space first? Her. Who found the cure for world hunger? Her.

- Actually very talented in everything she does and is a blessing to humanity

- Stage name: Seulgi

- Real name: Kang Seulgi

- Colour: Orange

- Position: Main Dancer, Lead Vocal

- Either as fluffy as a teddy bear or a fucking sex God there is no in between

- Born on February 10th, 1994; second eldest

- hER EYES MAKE ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY

- She, in general, makes me question my sexuality

- also tiny

- “Hello I am the 71st prettiest face in the world”

- First half of the “DD” also known as “Dumbass Duo”

- Someone help her she is lost in time and space

- The type of person to put a red sock to wash with the whites

- Is not capable of doing the splits because she dumb lmao

- How the fuck is one this confused???

- Gets bullied by her members a lot

- A sunshine in human form. You know that sun from the Teletubbies? That be Seulgi

- Her abs make me feel like Kylie Jenner, y’know... pregnant

- “If there’s no food I’m going home”

- THE number one fan of Beyonce™

- Pringles advocate

- She didn’t train for 7 years to have people shit talking her because she is multitalented and leaves people all around the world shooketh

- Stage name: Wendy

- Real name: Son Seungwan

- Colour: Blue

- Position: Main Vocal, English speaker

- Is also a HELLA good rapper

- Born on February 21st, 1994; third eldest

- Used to live in Toronto when she was younger, her English proceeds to give everyone a boner

- the tiniest out of all

- The kpop singer with the widest vocal range (this is an actual fact)

- “S H I N E  O N  M E”

- So caring it makes me bawl. She literally cooks for everyone and is so supportive it is truly beautiful

- Is actually the one behind the iconic “PARK SOOYOUNG! WHEN YOU SMILE I SMILE TOO”

- If she ever covers your song, you can say goodbye to it because it’s hers now

- A soccer mom

- Also that famous Kris Jenner “You’re doing amazing sweetie” meme

- Rescue her scalp someone pls

- Probably used “WHOMST” once in her lifetime unironically

- The gayest out of all the gays

- She is a boob person and also has a very nice butt Irene knows

- Once stacked a gazillion hats on top of her head because why the fuck not

- Is also a sexy pornstar ... no wait, I meant a “saxophonist”

- Is so beautiful and deserves all the love in this entire world but the world doesn’t deserve her at all 

- Stage name: Joy

- Real name: Park Sooyoung

- Colour: Green

- Position: Lead Rapper, Lead Vocal, Mood-maker

- + an actress

- Born on September 3rd, 1996: fourth eldest

- Invented “cute” and “sexy” don’t fight me on this

- TALL (for a Red Velvet member lmfao)

- Has the prettiest profile, God took extra time in crafting such a masterpiece

- Speaking of God... God is real and in a form of Park Sooyoung

- Likes finer things in life such as herself

- If the song “Me Too” was a human, it would be her

- Ruthless

- When she gets scared her soul deadass leaves her body and it is hilarious

- A dramatic bitch

- HAS THE BEST BODY SORRY YALL CAN’T COMPETE

- Can get very angery

- Probably was kinkshamed by someone once

- Is having a mental breakdown at every waking moment

- “Can you stop I’m very sensitive”

- Tom to Yeri’s Jerry

- Just the most amazing human being, an all-rounder and a happy virus

- Stage name: Yeri

- Real name: Kim Yerim

- Colour: Purple

- Position: Maknae, Lead Rapper, Sub Dancer, Vocal, Songwriter

- Is being an absolute savage a talent?

- Born on March 5th, 1999; the youngest

- The other half of the “Dumbass Duo”

- So much sass is contained in this tiny human being

- Plans to take over SM soon one day

- HAS THE MOST CONTAGIOUS LAUGH IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND IT IS SO GENUINE I LOVE IT

- Likes pineapple on pizza cancelled

- The OG Sone

- A mess

-  (ง •̀_•́)ง

- Not a big spoon nor a little spoon, she a knife

- Tries her best

- Knows everyone and everything; what a social butterfly it warms my heart

- Likes to read smut so all of you smut fanfiction writers, watch out, she is lurking

- SPEAKING OF LURKING

- She lowkey had a fan account that was all about Girl’s Generation

- A woman we all aspire to be

- Is an actual cinnamon roll that yes, could kill you but everyone loves her because she really improved a lot. WE WATCHED HER GROW UP INTO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN SHE IS NOW B L E S S

Popular ships, let’s play a game where you guess which two people are paired up (not like it is completely obvious)

SEULRENE 

WENRENE

WENSEUL

JOYRI

YERENE

JOYGI

JOYDY

WENRI

SEULRI

Ending note

On a more serious note, Red Velvet is an amazing girl group that deserves so much more. I hope this at least got you to check them out. If not, your loss lol.

I could use a fuckton adjectives to describe their perfection but trust me, that ain’t enough.

Anyways, OT4 stans can fuck off, don’t comment on this post.

Just love all the girls and don’t point out their insecurities in a rude way mmkay?

This is all from me and I hope you enjoyed and that this helped you and maybe made you chuckle (maybe?)

If there is another question that you want me to answer, ask me because I would love to.

P.S. It doesn’t have to be Red Velvet related because I am trash that stans more groups than the number of bad jokes I made in this post.

Follow for more quality top-notch content.

[shame-on-nyall]

Ok, if you asked this or you are a friend of this person or agree with this person, please, I beg you, unfollow me immediately after reading this post. I’m not even sure why I have more than 5 followers anyway, lmao, but okay, hear me out.

First of all! When an artist sketches a character and does not color in their skin it does not mean they think the character is white or even light-skinned! This only would have mattered if the artist posted a finished colored piece and McCree’s skin was still much lighter than his default model’s skin tone, and even so, one could still argue that they color picked from the other much lighter-skinned models because those exist too. So already this ask is starting on shaky ground.

Furthermore, what about the drawing makes one think McCree was white? I, an artist, saw a sketch in the artist’s particular style, which doesn’t have that much difference in key facial features between an Asian and a white person, so for all I can tell, McCree could be part Asian, part white, part Hispanic, part Native and part black, and uhh, Hanzo could be part white and part Australian aborigine and part Pacific Islander. Like, that’s just this person’s style???

Next, why couldn’t McCree be a white person? I know everyone believes he must be part native or have Latin ancestry because that is a reasonable thing to believe if the character is born in the Southwest United States, and I believe that, too, as a person living in the Southwest. But I also kinda have assumed that his father or grandfather or whoever must have British ancestry as well to explain the last name McCree (unless he just made up his name, also possible.) So sure, he is most likely not 100% European Caucasian mayonaise white if he was born in the Southwest United States decades from now, but again, we don’t know that, and sometimes people choose to identify as white even when they aren’t technically so, so there’s that as well.

Another thing, drawing a skinny and busty genderbend with no flaws is an artist opinion. Anyone can interpret a genderbend of a fictional character any way they want, it’s not wrong or right because guess what, it’s not based on a character model that currently exists, it’s someone’s imagination. Even if the genderbend model does exist, it can be an alternate universe! I have every reason to believe that young McCree is skinny (well, he seems broad-shouldered but fairly lean as a young man) and extrapolate that to a female version. He also had both arms until at least 25 years or so, so I also didn’t have to draw him with his cyborg arm. Plus, it’s a sketch, I sometimes forget tattoos and scars on a sketch because I’m excited to post the sketch!!! I try not to, but sometimes I do! I’m very excitable!

Also, this whole ask was worded in such an arrogant and entitled manner to a person whom I believe speaks Korean, who was so disturbed enough by it to delete their post so I had to go their twitter to find the image to use as reference for female leggies. Would not a “I’d love to see a 37 year old female McCree in your style with cyborg arm and really cool bullet scars” or something similar be a considerate and graceful grown-up thing to add?

And last but not least, how is harrassing a fanartist who drew this art in their spare time for free and shared it to the English-speaking fandom on Tumblr helping the cause of feminism and equal rights for all in any way? Imagine instead of smugly hitting send on this rude as heck ask, you took a deep breath, looked out the window and considered:

1. writing a check to a local women’s shelter or clinic

2. volunteering to be a big brother or sister to children who need assistance

3. walking dogs at an animal shelter 

4. messaging a friend who has been struggling with school or work and letting them know you support them 

5. writing a letter to an editor of a fashion magazine saying that you hope they include more plus-size models or models with scars and skin discolorations and that they are doing a good job not photoshopping Beyonce’s skin lighter, etc

6. literally anything else!!! anything else would positively affect how women and people of color and people with disabilities are treated in this real world instead of maybe making almost no difference at all in the online fandom of one video game

Look, I’ve been there. I once was a 19 year old university student, exposed to new ideas about justice and fairness and diversity. My little close-minded sheltered brain was suddenly opened to concepts I admired and wanted to desperately share. But I was poor, had no transportation, no friends at college, and the only way I could communicate was through the internet (Myspace and uhh... deviantart? Livejournal?) I’ve said things like this before and years later, I wish I hadn’t because I sounded like a fucking asshole. I meant well, and I thought everyone could perceive my good intentions, so I thought it gave me the right to say whatever. But I know now that it probably hurt a lot more people than it helped, because I was losing allies, alienating would-be friends, giving social justice a bad name with my rudeness and unwillingness to consider other people’s thoughts because I was so sure I was right. I didn’t know back then, I was extremely introverted and somewhere on the autism spectrum, I had no experience expressing myself carefully or effectively online, and no one told me what I should have done instead. (in my partial defense, the internet was a new thing back then.) So that’s why I’m telling everyone now.

Internet activism really helps your ego, and sometimes you want and need that. But helping out in real life is much better in the long run, even it’s harder and slower work. If you really want to criticize a fanartist or fanfic writer because you can’t help anyone in real life, then go ahead. But get your facts straight, be an adult, make that person proud to have learned something from you instead of ashamed and bewildered.

Anyway, I was really pissed and needed to get that off my chest lmao. I did a lot of work at women’s shelters and interned at Planned Parenthood so I get really angry and defensive when artists who are most likely female and not white or cishet get these rude af criticisms because I know they came from a good place. But like... Nazi ideology came from a good place, too. Comments like these censor and intimidate, and they don’t censor and intimidate the fat cats in Hollywood and the old out-of-touch men in capital cities, they censor and intimidate people who struggle to be accepted, people like us.

Just think twice, my dudes.

Ok, I’m done. Back to shimada bros content... later. Thank you for reading. Unfollow me now. Unless you really want to stay on this train lmao.

[sizzlingasianpersuasion]

New Year, Same Mistakes

There’s rain coming down and I’m watching the raindrops trickle down my driver’s side window. The left side of my face is pressed against the cold, my tears are falling faster than the rain.  

 “You’re a stupid shit,” I think to myself.  “You keep making the same stupid mistakes.  You will never amount to anything.  You are still nothing and you should have killed yourself a long time ago.”

 Once the downhill of your depression has already been made, it’s like a ski slope you’ve already been down before.  You get faster to the bottom with each practice.  I would have numerous medals based on how quickly I get to the lowest, darkest place in my mind.  

 I get a call from an adoring fan/friend, who is one of a very small group of people who understands me in a way most do not.  I read the transcript of his voicemail and I cry harder.  He saw my self-defeating Twitter post and called to check up on me and reassure me he is there to be a friend.  I just felt shittier.  

 I’m the type of person who crumbles under people’s generosity and kindness when I am in a depressed state of mind.  I have been programmed to believe I do not deserve it.  

 As I approach my 32nd birthday, I criticize myself even more that I still don’t have my shit together.  “You keep trying and you keep failing, why do you still bother?” is what I ask myself at this age.

 I was deceived by a professional con-man.  I am ashamed that I foolishly believed this man, who said he was working for a professional athlete, that was interested in seeing me.  I was offered a large sum of money for two weeks, enough that it would completely wipe out my debt and have plenty left over.  

 I won’t go into all the details, but this guy was good.  I have to give him that.  But I should have listened to my engineer, who warned me this was probably a scam. But I already had to borrow money from him to pay bills, I haven’t been able to pay my student loans, and with the end of the year, comes taxes, and I already owe the government a few thousand from last year.  

 My student loans, plus the loan I took out to help me move to Las Vegas, and let’s add what I owe to IRS for just 2015 alone, since I do plan to pay my taxes unlike our President-Elect, is about 67K.  And I know there are other debts floating out there that also have to be resolved, and I don’t even want to know what the real figure is.  

 So maybe you can understand why, when I think there might be a chance I can earn enough to wipe my debt clean, I don’t think quite as clearly as I should.  The figure weighs heavily upon my mind.  And in December, I only had four calls, so I went into more debt because I didn’t have enough for all my expenses.  

 As I sat in my vehicle, wailing to myself, glad to have finally gotten my windows tinted this past year, but knowing people could probably still see and hear me, I thought about the texts my mother sent me this past summer.  

 In a previous post, when I was discussing my trip to LA and an interaction I had with another provider, I wrote that my mother implied I was a diseased whore and I left New York with telling myself I will never talk to her again.  I’ve mentioned how tumultuous the relationship with my mother has been in the past, and after I was home in July, I thought it best she remains out of my life while I try to learn to love myself.  A lot of my insecurities stem from my mother.  

 In July, I owed three car payments.  I was paying the average minimum of what my actual car payment was supposed to be each month, which is about $400.  But I had gotten into a hole a couple times in the beginning of the year, where I wasn’t able to pay one month, and then it happened again a couple months later.  I was finally up to being able to pay the monthly payment, but not enough to pay the $800 from the missed payments, plus the monthly $400.  

 My parents were getting calls from the loan collector.  I explained to my mother what had happened, but that I was back on track and just needed a little more time to pay back the missed payments.  She decided to make a payment with her credit card.  My parents are in just as much debt as I am, maybe a little less, and they’re both retired.  

 I didn’t ask her to do that for me.  I didn’t want her to do that for me.  I knew my mother too well.  I knew this would backfire on me.  And it did.

 My mother has the tendency to do something nice for me, then shove it in my face later on, making me feel guilty and horrible she did it in the first place.  I felt like she would do something kind just to use it as a weapon to strike me down at a later time.  

 At age 12 or 13, my mother decided to discipline and hate me one day, while I had my best friend over. I didn’t do anything horrible.  I don’t recall what happened previous to the memory I have, but I remember my friend and I sitting on the floor in front of the entertainment center.  There was a swinging door opening to a portion of it, that housed VHS tapes.  I had it open and as my mother walked by with a pile of laundry, she kicked it, so the corner bashed and cut my knee.  

 She told me I didn’t deserve to have glasses.  “If you’re not going to appreciate what you have, you don’t deserve them,” she said towering above my friend and I.  

I’ve needed glasses since I was ten.  My eyesight had significantly deteriorated at that age, that the optometrist asked my parents how I could even see the softball.  

 I needed my glasses to see clearly.  My mother knew that.  I yelled for them back and she refused.  I started crying.  And my girlfriend started crying too.  

 My mom drove my friend back home and there were no words spoken, except when my friend whispered, “Please stop crying.”  

 So maybe now, you can understand a little bit better of my psychosis.  Why I’m this somber/angry/emo girl who has a hard time accepting when people are nice to her because she doesn’t believe she deserves it.  Who will always wonder when that generous person shouts, “Look at what I did for you!”  The way my mother and my New York-ex did.  

  Back to last July:

 My mother paid my missed car payments.  I told her thank you and that she did not have to do that.  

 I’m still that teenage girl in many ways who can only tolerate my mother for a certain amount of time.  ‘What are you eating?  Where did you get that top?  Where are you going?’  I’m extremely anxious around my mother because I can never relax, every action is an interrogation.  

 I tweeted the night before I left, “It was good to be home, but I cannot wait to get away from my mother and her fifty fucking questions.”

 And then came the shit storm.  

 She read my tweet and I admit, it wasn’t the nicest thing to say, but I gave her the ammunition to ridicule me and my job.  

 “Sorry I ask so many questions, but at least I don’t ask you for money,” she snarled at me the morning I was getting ready to leave.  “At least I’m not a fucking whore.”  

 She called me a “fucking ingrate,” implied I was a diseased whore, and made some remark about sucking cocks.

 The tears welled up in my eyes like it had so many times when I was growing up.  I got in her face and pointed at her, “You have no idea who the fuck I am and I do this because of you.”  

 I was so angry and emotional that my words didn’t make much sense without context.  But I’ve given a lot of thought of why I do what I do, and/or the reason why I place myself in certain situations.  And the honest truth, is that I don’t really care about myself.  My mother nurtured all of those insecurities that I had about myself.  When you’ve been brought up to think you are nothing, you believe your worth is nothing.  Who cares if you sell yourself?  At least I have a value now.  

 “Don’t you want to say goodbye to your daughter?” my father asked as we stood with my luggage gathered by the front door.

 “No,” she said authoritatively.  

 “Goodbye, Mom,” I said. I fought back more tears.  ‘She doesn’t get to win this time,’ I told myself. And I also knew these would be the last words I would be saying to her, either until her death, or for a very long time.

 I had a layover in Charlotte, NC.  I switched my phone off airplane mode and I received a text from her, ‘FYI:  I am sick of the F’ing calls from your bill collectors and the 50 F’ing questions they bombard me with.  With that said, the next call I will give out your porn name, talent agencies, special phone number, and all info that is readily on the public web.’

 Me: ‘All I can ask is please do not.  If my real name is attached to my alias, more people will be able to find me and threaten to hurt me, rape me, and kill me.  If you want that, then fine.  But please do not.  

 My mother: ‘Should have thought about that before choosing your career.  I will feel no guilt.  Too bad, so sad.  

 Pay your F’ing bills, give your animals to respectable families, and live within your means.  All you want is quick cash and entitlement.  Shove that down your deep throat and gag. Shove your blaming attitude up your banana as whole.’

 (I refer to myself as a banana for being Korean, but really, I’m white because I’m completely Americanized.)

 So there I was sobbing inside the Charlotte terminal, strangers looking at me, like what the fuck is wrong with this woman?  

 My friend from Brooklyn College called me after I posted a screenshot of the conversation with my mother. I didn’t want to answer.  Her kindness made me weep more as she attempted to convince me that I’m not a horrible person.  

 I cried talking to her. I cried on the plane to Los Angeles. I cried on the FlyAway bus from LAX to Van Nuys.  I didn’t cry the whole time, but I only had the company of myself and I drifted to those dark places because I knew I was alone again.  

 My mother’s text about giving away my animals is near the top of the most hurtful things one can say to me.  I know I have a lot of pets.  I like to think I’m making up for my entire childhood and adolescence without having one, and that’s why I have so many now.  But I told my friend from college this (she’s an animal lover/artist too), “The more lives I have to take care of, the less likely I’ll be able to kill myself.”  

 Always half logical and half emotional with my thoughts, it is true.  My whole pack would have to be separated and I would never want any of them to wind up in a bad situation or in a shelter.  They are my everything.  My littlest dog, DeSoto, sits in my lap as I type this.  My special dog, Atticus, is underneath my chair.  

 I just get along better with animals.  People have been and continue to be cruel to me.  Animals have not.  I’ve discovered I’m a horrible communicator when it comes to relationships.  I believe it is a combination of needing time to express my thoughts and feelings (hence, writing), along with a fear of my words being misinterpreted, and growing up as an only child and not having anyone to talk to when I was sad.  

 I used to drape my Pound Puppy’s ears across my eyes and cry myself to sleep at night.  I didn’t have to say anything to my stuffed animal Brodie, who I got when I was a year old, and named after my neighbor’s dog.  I would just wrap my little arms around him, put his long ear over my eyes, and hope my sadness would be less when I woke up.

 Now I finally have my own menagerie.  I get to hug and cry into my squishy Pit Bull who is usually taking up most of the space in my king size bed.  I talk to my one cat as he head-butts to greet me.  My other cat kneads my stomach, reminding me maybe I should have done more cardio.  I laugh at my special dog because he is just that.  I squeeze my little Min Pin, wondering if he was just given away just because he is all black.  I smirk when I hear my turtle swimming to nowhere as she kicks up the rocks in her tank. And I marvel at the beauty of my German Shepherd and ask myself, how am I so lucky to be the owner of such a handsome animal?  

 But when I’m struggling to pay my bills, especially last month and I thought this month would be better, but it’s looking like I will be in the same position with only a call a week, my mother’s words echo in my mind.  Maybe I don’t deserve them.  

 I will be 32 next week and my career as a whore is barely keeping me afloat.  My porn career is non-existent since my agency has zero interest in promoting me, apparently.  I have no children.  Thank goodness in many ways, but I’m in a very small pool now of those who are not mothers.  So I’m nearly 32, and I still am struggling.  And the day after my birthday, we inaugurate a mean, petulant child to the highest position of our country.  

 I keep trying to fight back the tears of my failure.  I try to convince myself that I am more than nothing.  I try to have hope.  But as one potential client cancels on me, another tries to bargain me down to 300, another 400, and others who lose interest just because I won’t fuck them raw, I don’t have much hope.  And with the world will becoming a much scarier place on January 20th.  I don’t have much hope at all.  

[whatisonthemoonarchive]

RE: On Dan Fefferman and Political Theology

Reading over the members spasm of voluminous spam on the blog over the last couple days and one article from Applied Unificationism jumped out at me. It was a submission by  Dan Fefferman with his analysis on the various Moon church schisms and their particular brand of "Political Theology". My comments to articles at Applied Unificationism never get posted so I will place them here on WIOTM. Dan Fefferman has a very interesting history as a member and was deeply involved in formulating Rev. Moon's version of "Political Theology". As an operative, Dan was never the one to carry an AR-15 into battle but he certainly associated with plenty of people who did and would without much persuasion. Dan was called to testify at the House International relations subcommittee investigating U.S. Korean relations. This is a fascinating document if you have the time to read the transcripts. I almost fell off the sofa when I noticed in the title that Congressman Leo Ryan was a prominent member of the Subcommittee. Leo Ryan was murdered by members of the Peoples Temple cult after he visited their compound in Jonestown Guyana shortly after the subcommittee investigation was concluded. That is a post for another day. The following is a brief excerpt and supporting links dredged up by the tireless Mr. Moon Critic, (thunderous applause). Pay close attention to all of the excerpts in bold font as they probably contain clues to the hidden effects of said "Political Theology". You may want to follow the links and search the back grounds of all the names mentioned here for a real education on Political and Religious subversion. Thanks again for participating, Frank F

Mr. Harrington (of the Fraser Committee) asks Dan Fefferman about Ed Feulner

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=pur1.32754077268948;view=1up;seq=72

Mr. HARRINGTON: 

I have another document which staff will make available to you entitled “Daily Report,” from yourself to Mr. Salonen, dated September 11, 1974. 

Item No. 4 is entitled “Letters re Korea Trip,” and states, “Please give me more guidance about what to say to Minister Kim and Ed Feulner. The information has already been communicated from Ed to Min. Kim.”

First, can you identify Ed Feulner? I don’t know if I have the correct pronunciation. I assume it is close enough for you to know whom I am referring to.

DAILY REPORT

Dan Fefferman report to Neil Salonen

1. Appointments - Lunch with Sven Kraemer on Thursday to discuss Vietnam. He has not seen us since our return, and he invited Louise and me to be his guests. Lunch with Phuong Dung, Friday. I don’t know whether these two are connected through conscious conspiracy or simply through the spiritual world.

4. Letters re Korea trip. — Please give me more guidance about what to say to Minister Kim and Ed Feulner. The information has already been communicated from Ed to Min. Kim. (Mr. Moon Critic note: Mr. Kim was the founder of the K.C.I.A.)

8. David Martin - Came to dinner tonight...He wants to sometime to talk to you and Re. Moon about some ideas he has. One thing he mentioned was using church a.c. missionaries in countries like Greece and Portugal to coach anti-Communist forces as a catalyst for effective action.

9. Internal Security - This business about new leaks is getting ridiculous, Pentagon papers, White House "investigatory reporting" (also called muckraking) that crucified an American President - now, Laurence Stern (of all people) comes up with a story quoting minutes of a "top secret State Department meeting" at which Sec. Kissinger allegedly ordered the CIA to overthrow Allende. I really want to do something about this. We'll start with the TIDE, but I'd seriously like to suggest putting some muscle behind it sometime in the future after things settle down. There should be laws against this kind of thing. (Please excuse my diatribe).

https://nsarchive2.gwu.edu/news/20001113/

Detailed minutes of the “40 Committee” meetings—the high-level interagency group chaired by national security advisor Henry Kissinger—which oversaw U.S. efforts to undermine the election and government of Socialist leader Salvador Allende.  These meetings reveal strategies of “drastic action” planned to “shock” Chileans into taking action to block Allende.

https://nsarchive2.gwu.edu//news/20000919/index.html

The report, “CIA Activities in Chile,” revealed for the first time that the head of the Chile’s feared secret police, DINA, was a paid CIA asset in 1975... “CIA actively supported the military Junta after the overthrow of Allende,” the report states. “Many of Pinochet’s officers were involved in systematic and widespread human rights abuses....Some of these were contacts or agents of the CIA or US military.” 

https://isgp-studies.com/le-cercle-pinay

The most important American think tank...was the Heritage Foundation...the Heritage Foundation was closely linked to Le Cercle. President of the Heritage Foundation from 1977 to 2013 and again for 7 months in 2017 was Edwin Feulner, a Knight of Malta, a known Cercle visitor, and solid member of the global superclass. Paul Weyrich, a wealthy co-founder and financier of the Heritage Foundation, has also visited Le Cercle...Both Feulner and Weyrich were involved in the Council for National Policy and generallyconsidered to be loyal to Opus Dei...

Additionally, a number of Cercle members have been involved with institutions with strong links to the Moonie cult. Among them are the Victims of Communism Memorial Foundation, which counted the involvement of Brian Crozierm, Edwin Feulner and Zbigniew Brzezinski; and the Global Economic Action Institute, of which the London branch was chaired by Julian Amery, head of Le Cercle at the time the story came out. Many neocons, who also became prominent in Le Cerce, became allied with the Moonies in the 1980s.

Vernon Walters...while deputy CIA director - under President Gerald Ford...and secretary of state Henry Kissinger - Walters was one of the key founders of Latin America's Condor operation, a continent-wide anti-communist and anti-socialist death squad with CIA backing...Kissinger, then operating under Nixon, sanctioned the CIA to overthrow the democratically-elected moderate president of Chile, Salvador Allende.

http://www.tparents.org/Library/Unification/Books/Tims1/Tims1-44.htm

Freedom and Responsibility - Bo Hi Pak - September 20, 1987

Reverend Moon, President Morales Bermudez, President Sucre, congressmen, honored guests, distinguished participants, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Korea, the Land of the Morning Calm, and welcome to the World Media Conference.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francisco_Morales_Berm%C3%BAdez

Francisco Morales-Bermúdez Cerruti - President of Peru - 1975 to 1980

Morales Bermudez is currently being prosecuted by Italian judge Luisianna Figliolia for the presumed forced disappearance of 25 Italian citizens in the frame of Operation Condor, a campaign of political oppression against leftists orchestrated by the right-wing dictatorships of South America in the 1970s.

http://hdhstudy.com/wp-content/uploads/Publications/The_Cornerstone/1981-The-Cornerstone.pdf

Page 42

On September 1, UTS was honored by the presence of General Ramon Diaz Bessone, one of the eight two-star generals of Argentina, who presented an informative lecture on global communist expansion. He outlined the gradual expansionary strategy of the Soviets in the West; subversion, finlandization, and encirclement. These tactics may serve as a means to attain the eventual capitulation of Western Europe, the United States, and Latin America.

General Bessone pointed out that, since Argentina has an important cultural influence on Latin America, communists concentrate much effort on subversive activities in that country. He claimed that the Carter Administration and the Liberal press contributed to subversive activities and to the distortion of the Argentinian situation in world opinion when they condemned the defeat of communist guerrillas in Argentina on the grounds of violation of human rights. He stressed how advantageous public confusion, disinformation, and naivete regarding the world situation are to communists.

https://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=es&u=https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ram%25C3%25B3n_Genaro_D%25C3%25ADaz_Bessone&prev=search

Ramón Genaro Díaz Bessone (born October 27, 1925 ) is an Argentine military man who reached the rank of General of Division , who during the military dictatorship called Process of National Reorganization (1976-1983) held high positions, among them Commander of Corps II and Minister of Planning under the presidency of Jorge Rafael Videla.

In July 2004 the justice ordered the arrest of Diaz Bessone in the case for crimes committed under the Condor Plan . 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Condor

Operation Condor... was a campaign of political repression and state terror involving intelligence operations and assassination of opponents, which started in 1968 and was officially implemented in 1975 by the right-wing dictatorships of the Southern Cone of South America... Ecuador and Peru later joined the operation in more peripheral roles.

A target was Orlando Letelier... Michael Townley, General Manuel Contreras (former head of the DINA), and Brigadier Pedro Espinoza Bravo (also formerly of DINA), were convicted of the murders...Townley confessed that he had hired five anti-Castro Cuban exiles...with the terrorist organization CORU's leadership...those elected to carry out the murder were Cuban-Americans José Dionisio Suárez, Virgilio Paz Romero, Alvin Ross Díaz, and brothers Guillermo and Ignacio Novo Sampoll.

https://books.google.com/books?id=vgthWZ5KlskC&pg=PA32&lpg=PA32&dq=cuban+nationalist+movement,+coru&source=bl&ots=pfrLMwG4a2&sig=Yy4X7vwyPDhwHN0Sb_WYZxVs834&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwioxcjYjP_RAhVGs1QKHT-tCcsQ6AEINDAD#v=onepage&q=cuban%20nationalist%20movement%2C%20coru&f=false

Perhaps the most deeply drug-linked of all CORU's members were those involved in the Cuban Nationalist Movement (CNM), a small neo-fascist group with bases in both Miami and Union City, New Jersey.

http://www.latinamericanstudies.org/omega/New-York-9-10-1979.pdf

Pages 4 to 5 - An Army in Exile - An Inside Look at Cuban Terrorists 4 miles from Manhattan

Feeding the hopes of exile terrorists through the years have been powerful outside interests...and in 1977 a representative from yet another heavily financed international organization dedicated to fighting world Communism appeared on the scene: a Reverend Jose Casado of Sun Myung Moon's Unification Church...Casado supplied $2000 to the Cuban Nationalist Movement to help pay legal fees for the three members convicted for their parts in the Letelier murder. 

http://www.governmentattic.org/docs/FBI_File_UnificationChurch_1967-1988.pdf

Page 27 - December 1978 - COORDINATION OF UNITED REVOLUTIONARY ORGANIZATIONS (CORU)

Pak told source that Pak had recently testified in the "Koreagate" case in Washington, D.C. Source described Pak as a Korean National, 55 years of age, graying slick dark hair, wearing prescription glasses and appearing very cultured and intellectual.

https://vault.fbi.gov/sun-myung-moon/sun-myung-moon-part-07-of-12/view

Pages 113 to 114 - December 1978 - COORDINATION OF UNITED REVOLUTIONARY ORGANIZATIONS (CORU)

Purpose: 

To furnish information received that Reverend Sun Myung Moon's Unification Church has agreed to furnish monetary support to the Cuban exile terrorist organization, CORU, in the United States...source learned that Reverend Sun Myung Moon's Unification church was prepared to financially back the Cuban exile terrorist element...(Bo Hi Pak) told source that he had testified in the (Fraser Hearings) case in Washington, D.C. (Bo Hi Pak) expressed keen interest in CORU and stated that Reverend Moon desires to discreetly establish and finance a network of radical anti-communist groups around the world.

https://vault.fbi.gov/sun-myung-moon/sun-myung-moon-part-10-of-12/view

Pages 18 to 19 - December 1978 - COORDINATION OF UNITED REVOLUTIONARY ORGANIZATIONS (CORU)

(Bo Hi Pak) advised that the Reverend Moon Organization wishes to provide financial aid to anti-communist Terrorists and is willing to utilize the Church as a cover for its activities...a small amount of money has been furnished in the recent past.

http://nsarchive.gwu.edu/NSAEBB/NSAEBB153/19780816.pdf

Page 14 - April 1978 - ORLANDO BOSCH AND ANTI-CASTRO TERRORIST ORGANIZATIONS

COORDINATION OF UNITED REVOLUTIONARY ORGANIZATIONS (CORU)

Dr. Carlos F. Dominicis, CORU leader in the New York area...Dominicis had been approached by one Korean and one Spanish individual claiming to be delegates of Reverend Moon and had offered financial aid to FOCI and its anti-Castro activity. Dominicis advised that he had discussed the financial aid being offered by Reverend Moon with Frank Castro and Orlando Acosta and Dominicis was told by Castro and Acosta to go ahead and receive financial aid offered by the delegates of Reverend Moon. Dominicis advised that CORU is being proposed as the possible military arm of FOCI.

------------------------------------------

https://www.nytimes.com/1977/09/19/archives/73-record-tells-of-plan-by-sun-myung-moon-aides-for-drive-against.html

NEW YORK TIMES Sept. 19, 1977 By Richard Halloran "73 Record Tells of Plan by Sun Myung Moon Aides for Drive Against Nixon Impeachment"

WASHINGTON, Sept. 18 — On the evening of Dec. 29, 1973, leaders of the Rev. Sun Myung Moon's Unification Church in the United States gathered here to plan a drive intended to prevent an impeachment of the President they called “the Archangel Nixon,” according to the minutes of that meeting.

The head of the American branch of the church was further described in the minutes as disclosing something of Mr. Moon's ambitions, saying, “We are right on the edge of influencing people. Master wants to give an address to a joint session of Congress.”

Beyond that the minutes of that meeting seem to illuminate the aspirations of the Unification Church for political and religious influence in the United States and to illustrate its tactical approach to a political operation.

In a report last month, Representative Donald M. Fraser, Democrat of Minnesota, the chairman of the Subcommittee on International Organizations, one of the House panels that have been investigating alleged Korean efforts to influence American policy, said that his subcommittee had “received reliable information that Mr. Moon “and organizations connected with him maintained operational ties with the Government of South Korea and specifically the Korean Central Intelligence Agency.” 

In addition, authoritative Government investigators here said that they had determined that the document was authentic.

The minutes quote Mr. Salonen further: “For deciding Congressmen, this is the crucial time. Impeachment proceedings are beginning. Yet polls are indicating that Nixon's popularity has just gone up by 4 percentage points to 31 percent. Now is the time to affect them at the grass roots level.”

Mr. Salonen outlined plans for allies and other political action intended “to show Nixon and Congress both our own power and the outer support..."

“1) Impact on the media—visibly strongly; 2) Impact on Congressmen, and 3) Impact on influential community leaders to approach Congressmen themselves.”

Mr. Salonen exhorted his lieutenants: “Each of us must work like 10 people to seem like at least 10,000. Approach this short‐range project with a long‐range view. We will always be doing and planning things like this. Always be ready.”

After Mr. Salonen spoke, the minutes disclose, he turned the meeting over to Daniel G. Fefferman, who was national project director. Mr. Fefferman is currently under a threat of a citation for contempt of Congress for refusing to answer questions before the subcommittee headed by Representative Fraser. Mr. Fefferman has contended that the subcommittee infringed on his First Amendment rights protecting freedom of religion.

“The problem is,” Mr. Fefferman was recorded as saying. “that without a definite stance on Nixon, the media will have nothing to sink their teeth into. They will try to pin you down. So be careful, but get the press there.”

Mr. Fefferman appeared to have spent most of his time on why and how members of the church must stimulate news coverage. “The White House, Congress and the people will become aware of us through the press,” he said. “They must see something strong and nationwide.”

Mr. Fefferman, who then headed the Freedom Leadership Foundation, a political affiliate of the Unification Church, offered advice on dealing with the press: “Move as quickly as possible.” He urged that news releases be delivered early, with details filled in later.

In Washington, Mr. Fefferman directed that Unification Church members visit Representatives and Senators after informing themselves of the members' political positions. He said that Congressmen were to be involved in their movement...

Mr. Fefferman emphasized, “Few groups have the power to spread orders so quickly. In the future, we will be very powerful because of this. Even if he is negative, a congressman understands nothing better than voter power. Each one takes this seriously.”

“If you put a full page ad in the paper and your congressman won't see you,” he continued, “hold a demonstration. He would seem irresponsible then if he didn't see you.”

Mr. Fefferman was also quoted as directing that outside groups be recruited, including the Young Republicans, the Young Americans for Freedom, ethnic groups whose members were apt to be anti‐Communist, patriotic organizations like the Sons of the American Revolution...

https://appliedunificationism.com/2017/08/28/the-legacy-of-unification-political-theology/

The Legacy of Unification Political Theology - August 28, 2017 

Rev. Sun Myung Moon founded the International Federation for Victory Over Communism in 1969 as a major ideological offensive. IFVOC established coalitions with other anti-communist organizations throughout the world. In the U.S., members created the Freedom Leadership Foundation (FLF) as the American affiliate of IFVOC. Thus, it created a “hawkish” face in terms of public image, despite its equally strong commitment to world peace, which remained somewhat hidden.

The VOC thrust had always been accompanied by globalist projects such as the One World Crusade and various scientific, ecumenical and peace initiatives. The first of these was the International Conference on the Unity of the Sciences (ICUS), begun in 1972 in New York and held annually throughout the 1970s into the 1980s.

The right-wing tendency experienced an unexpected resurgence with the ascendency of Hyung Jin (Sean) Moon and his brother, Kook Jin (Justin) Moon. With Hyung Jin’s support, Kook Jin began to promote in the U.S. the “Freedom Society,” an adamantly libertarian ideology opposed to left-liberalism. 

Since Rev. Moon’s ascension in 2012 and the emergence of schisms centering on Preston and Sean, the underlying tensions in Unification political theology have come into sharper focus.

Hyung Jin and Kook Jin...in their Sanctuary Church faction, espouse a strongly right-wing libertarian viewpoint. They have also embraced conspiracy theories about 9/11, the Illuminati, world banking cabals, and the doomsday prophecies of a Messianic rabbi. In 2016, Hyung Jin and Kook Jin became enthusiastic supporters of the candidacy of Donald Trump. Lately, however, Sean has begun to worry publicly that Trump has given in to pressure from the “globalists” who he alleges want to surrender American sovereignty to international organizations and the so-called worldwide banking conspiracy.

The Unification Movement’s expression of its political theology initially focused on achieving Victory Over Communism but simultaneously developed various programs aimed at the longer term goals...The right-wing tendency experienced a brief resurgence during the period of Sean’s ascendency...Today, the overall movement has become less overtly political than it was during its heyday, with the exception of the Sanctuary Church faction, which is strongly right-wing libertarian in orientation.

In any case, with anti-communism no longer a central feature, and Rev. Moon no longer on the scene, the future of Unification political theology will remain in flux for the foreseeable future. 

-------------------------------------------

https://archive.org/stream/pdfy-YAnJOkt3G0B4uEGh/Scott+&+Jon+Lee+Anderson+-+Inside+the+League+(1986)_djvu.txt

Inside The League 

THE SHOCKING EXPOSE OF HOW TERRORISTS, NAZIS, AND LATIN AMERICAN DEATH SQUADS HAVE INFILTRATED THE WORLD ANTI-COMMUNIST LEAGUE 

The Americans who have belonged to the World Anti-Communist League consistently contend that they have attempted to be a moderating influence or that they were unaware of the unsavory nature of other League chapters. The evidence, however, much of it compiled by the Americans themselves, shows that they knowingly belonged to a federation of death squad leaders, Nazi war criminals, and neo-fascists. At best, they are showcases of naivete; a more critical observer would say that they are showcases of far worse. 

The first American League Chapter was the American Council for World Freedom (ACWF), founded in 1970 in Washington, D.C. The main force behind its creation, and its first secretary, was Lee Edwards, head of a public relations firm and former director of Young Americans for Freedom, the youth arm of the John Birch Society.

Edwards lined up an impressive array of conservative American leaders for the American Council for World Freedom to appear on its letterhead and to attend World Anti-Communist League functions. Lev Dobriansky, a former OSS officer in Germany during World War II and chairman of the National Captive Nations Committee (and currently ambassador to the Bahamas), joined, as did Dr. Walter H. Judd, former Republican congressman from Minnesota; John Fisher, executive director of the American Security Council; and Reed Irvine, a longtime fixture of the far right. A year earlier, Irvine had established Accuracy in Media, "a watchdog of the media by promoting accuracy and fairness in reporting." ACWF's eventual president was retired Army Major General Thomas Lane; Eleanor Schlafly represented the Cardinal Mindszenty Foundation.

The Unification Church in the United States was also involved; Neil Salonen— president of the Church in the United States, secretary-general of the Freedom Leadership Foundation, and a director of the Moonie-owned Tong-il Armaments Company in Korea was on the ACWF board. 

MR. MOON CRITICS NOTE: Lev Dobriansky would later help with "filling the park" for the Washington Monument Rally in 1976...Without his help that Rally could've been a disaster...and later he would become the President of the Global Economic Action Institute which was working closely with Le Cercle (Robert B. Anderson was the previous president of GEAI)

Walter Judd, Lee Edwards & Reed Irvine were ALL HANDLERS for Neil Salonen from the beginning to go along with David Martin...the most important HANDLER of all.