#alt.vent.txt | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kasarian · 11 days ago

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this is a vent. but also i think the tags include more vent than the actual post. sawwry.

if it matters, i do have DID, and right now its kas. kas always pops up whenever nate (who is host) or [other n] gets upset. kas is always here and ready to bite. i have been feeling like this more often than not since ive been trying to make my bluesky more active again. i am in pain. but can i afford to take a break? no prolly not.

#i understand we need a bluesky in order to thrive as an artist. but if anything its made nate and i want to kill ourseleves more often than #often than not.#why do we need to constantly promote ourselves to be able to sustain our shit #why was i created as a retaliation to our trauma from fucking being on twitter on 2017. always so fucking obsessed with fucking NUMBERS #with external validation #like i need that shit to live??!??!?!?!?? fucking HELL #alt.vent.txt #i dont. holy shit nate and the others draw so fucking well. he draws and he loves adapting to environments #look at him. he can animate now. he learned how to edit videos #he thought it was fun. i was enjoying it in the background. i love seeing him thrive but holy shit #people are so fucking ungrateful.#and i dont want nate to die. kas is not the main host. kas is not. i am not.#nate deserves so much more than whatever online strangers can ever give him. what the hell.#...no need to check in nor understand what alters or what a system is. i am simply furious.#what the hell did i expect from a twitter-like #i think i should unfollow that big numbers person on there too. i fully know they've muted me already.#or maybe not. lets see. sila ata mauuna. that viper person already has way last year. a year's worth of pretending to like me way to go #which is also a fascinating phenomenon btw. popular artists on bsky are more or less insufferable half the time

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