#alternate caption: fall out barbies

[heartbreakfeelsogood]

hold me like a grudge barbie

[insp]

[multiple-authors]

9 August 2023

It's midday again. This morning I washed my whites (bedding and t-shirts for work), had my smoothie, went to the gym, had porridge, washed, cleaned the side table by the door and the mirror. Writing until 12:45. Whatever comes to mind. I just write and write and write. No stopping. I feel somewhat more energised today. I think working out and eating a lot has helped. Eating high protein foods. Since having the smoothies back in my diet I feel a lot better. I am excited to sleep in my fresh bedding this evening. This evening I am hanging out with Franny. I don't know what we'll do. Last night I was at home when she came back. I was making tea for myself. I was in the living room watching TV and she came and joined me every now and again. It was nice to see her. She was on her period eating coconut-based biscuits and coconut custard. I feel reassured and safe when I'm around her. I have been avoiding her because I think it's a natural trauma response for me. I also feel shameful that I'm in the financial position I'm in. This situation is very fixable though. I just need to budget and work within my means. I am learning a lot. I started to share things with her and then stopped myself. I knew we would be hanging out this evening. I am looking forward to that. We should do something nice. What should we do? Maybe we can watch something together. I think we should go for a walk. I feel so regimented in my life. Or I like routine. Or creating a routine for myself. I think I have to be careful in being too critical of this because I otherwise would be floating around without a routine, to the beat of an inconsistent restaurant rota that changes every week. There is something I am holding onto. What would it look like if I let go just a little bit? If I just follow a routine and a system I create for myself, then trust that it will take me somewhere, then, if I know that this will eventually happen, surely this certainty means there is no reason to hold on so much. I can let go a little. If a train I board is destined for the waterfall, there is no need for me to hold on white-knuckled on the edge of my seat because, trusting the driver, the tracks, the engineers, the schedule programmers (I don't know what they're called), I will eventually arrive safely. Of course there could be a horrific storm, or a tree that falls in the track, or an obstacle more broadly, or we run out of fuel slightly. There is no reason why this can't be resolved by waiting, refuelling, taking the time to rest, waiting. I will still be on route to my destination, especially with all the forces I have set in motion (the metaphorical driver, the tracks, the engineers, the schedule programmers). So if this is the case, I might as well smile more, let go, surrender. I am setting in motion my own train, driver, tracks, engineers, schedule programmers. This will happen of its own accord because life moves on inevitably and it is in my nature to make things happen. I will something to happen. It is my namesake. To carry on writing, I don't what much more to say. I will sit and paint today, and have fun. This painting will finish itself. Then I will photograph it and post it. Then I will shut down the app and act just as I wrote. I do need to write a caption for it: https://www.e-flux.com/notes/552445/everything-you-ever-wanted-to-know-about-the-phallus-but-were-afraid-to-ask-barbie Here is a draft. [I think I need to watch it first to say something]

'Permeable fantasies' Oil on linen 80 x 100 cm 2023

Not me making more marketing for Barbie... This time last year, I rediscovered the magical paintbrush she uses to make reality of her imagination in the 2002 film, 'Barbie as Rapunzel'. She paints portals to pass through: her paintings become the ultimate vision boards, simulating where she wants to go, manifesting a place or idea that's just out of reach, an alternate reality, a virtual reality. It's a tool to dip her toe in new waters, or chuck something overboard. And the paint she's using is just what she has lying around (the berry juice her talking rabbit friend brought her). Type in 'Barbie as Rapunzel - The magical paintbrush creates a portal towards the village' on YouTube to see for yourself. Criticism of the Barbie enterprise aside, at least this iteration of her taught five-year-old me something about the nature of painting. The way Barbie as Rapunzel saves herself 💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼 and gets the man along the way... 💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼 #SeeYouNextTuesday 🧨🔥💨. After the amount I've stared at her over the last few weeks, and the amount she's stared back, I have taken inspiration and am currently painting a new portal. I will be saving myself and leaving her behind.

☔️🤬☔️😤☔️🤪☔️

[realcube]

randomly falling asleep with hq!! characters 💤

navi | masterlist | taglist 

thank you anon for this cute request!

characters: ushijima, tsukishima & yachi 

content warning: swearing, mentions of sexual assault 

thank you to anon for this cute request

wakatoshi ushijima

♡ he shows affection in his own...special way 😊

♡ by that, i mean that if you fall asleep while sitting next to him and he thinks you look cute, he’ll just stare (●__●)

♡ like deadass if he was anyone else, it’d be creepy as hell but he’s your bf so-

♡ he stares bc not only do you look precious, but he doesn’t want to touch you as he’s afraid that he might wake you up

♡ though, if you’re in public (like sitting next to him on the train) he might gently put his arm around your shoulders to make sure that onlookers know that you’re safe with him

♡ also, it only takes one time for him to catch on to your habit of disappearing and falling asleep in the most unconventional places and istg he is the BEST at guessing where you are - it’s a gift

♡ like he’ll arrive home and if you’re not there to immediately greet him with kisses, he’ll take a moment - let him boyfriend senses take over and walk him over to whatever room is giving him ✨(y/n) vibes✨, open the door and there is a 99% chance you are in that room sleeping 

♡ and he probably got it right first guess (which is a pretty big deal considering y’alls house resembles a sims fkn mansion made with motherload money)

♡ he’ll open the door to the storage cupboard to find you sleeping with the mr muscle spray and it’s such a shame bc he was going to be a clown and make a ‘why are you cheating on me?’ joke but you were in REM sleep 🙄

♡ or he’ll walk in to the conservatory and see you laying in the fetal position on the floor and that is the ONLY time he interferes with your sleep bc he doesn’t want you to fuck up your back 🥺

♡ like he has an obsession with your posture - like if you are slouched he will tell you to stand up straight or if you are sitting hunched in a chair, he’ll creep up behind you to start massaging your shoulders while fixing your posture 

♡ not to be rude though- just bc he cares

♡ also, he never questions how you end up falling asleep in the most random of places, he just goes with it 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

ushijima sighed as he hung up his jacket, realising that this was one of those days were you won’t come scurrying to the front door to greet him with kisses and instead he had to hunt through in search of you. although, it wasn’t much of a hunt considering his gut instinct said you’d be in the study room and there you were, cuddled up by the bookshelf. 

however, your back was hunched over in way that didn’t look to comfortable so ushijima thought it was his duty to transport you to somewhere that there was a lot more appropriate and fit for sleeping.

so he gently slipped one hand behind your back and the other under your knees to slowly pick you up and carry you to your shared bedroom. is efforts may have been in vain though as he noticed one of your lids flutter open out of the corner of his eye, “good afternoon, sweetheart.” he hummed, steadily shifting his hand from your back to the back of your head to tenderly caress your cheek with his thumb as you cuddled into his chest. “are you awake?”

“No.” you groaned.

“Shame, I was going to suggest going out for walk on the beach--”

“I’m awake! Let’s go!” 

kei tsukishima 

♡ he probably calls you lazy but he’s really just jealous of how well you can sleep

♡ coz he just lays in bed till 4AM staring at the ceiling 

♡ i imagine that if you were to fall asleep next to him in a crowded, bustling place - like on a train - he’d take off his headphones and clasp them over your ears so the loud announcements don’t wake you up  

♡ he doesn’t fall asleep on transport btw (not even planes) so don’t worry about missing your stop 

♡ though he’s not usually a fan of PDA, he’ll hold your hand without a second thought to lead you out the train when you’re still recovery from the post-sleep haze because of course he doesn’t want to lose you in the crowds of people or anything

♡ and if you have a cute lil sleepy face then he might take a picture but he’d probably edit the picture with snapchat or something and draw like a moustache on you, put a sarcastic caption or something then send it to you 

♡ (but he’d save an unedited version of the pic bc you’re adorable-)

♡ like tsukki leaves you on delivered most of the time on snapchat bc he believes if you have something important to say, you’ll just message him normally but the rare occasion you do get a snap from him, don’t get your hopes up bc there is a 99% it’s just something like a picture of you with a drawn on crown and the caption ‘sleeping beauty 🙄’ 

♡ ‘so you think i’m a beauty 🥺’

♡ then he leaves you on read

♡ he will not carry you under any circumstances in public btw

♡ and at home, if you were to fall asleep on the couch next to him while y’all were watching a movie, there’s a 50/50 that’d he carry you to bed 

♡ but if he doesn’t take you to bed, he’ll set down a pillow for you on the couch and shift you around so you were laying in a more comfortable position, then drape a blanket over you 

♡ in regards to when he comes back from work, you’re usually already asleep in bed - but there is one time that you were not in the bedroom, and he still teases you for it until this day 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

most of the time, you’re sound asleep in bed by the time gets home but tonight you weren’t - in fact, you were no where to be seen. he had searched everywhere, called your phone multiple time and he looked at your schedule, but it appeared as though you were supposed to home right now - so hours, he was sitting fretfully on the couch, contemplating calling the police.

however, all his distressed pacing really worked up an appetite so he poked his head into the pantry to grab a snack but his soul almost left his body when he noticed you laying on the floor, fast asleep, with the cat curled up in your arms. who he didn’t even noticed was missing lol

usually, he wouldn’t even think of waking you up but the rage and shock that shot through his body resulted in him barking out, “what the fuck?! what are you doing here?! i’ve been looking all over this damn house for you and--”

he was cut off by the cat springing out of your arms from the surprising sharpness of his voice and scurrying off, leaving you confused on the floor on the pantry, half asleep, wondering how you got here and why tsukishima was yelling at you? “hm? what’s wrong, sweetie?” you hummed, rubbing your eyes while tilting your head up to look at his tall, slender figure looming over you in the doorway.

as much as tsukishima wanted to stay mad at you, upon noticing how cute your bedhead was along with how soft your voice was, he quickly realised that there was no way he could continue yelling you. so instead, he scoffed and slowly kneeled down to sit next to you on the floor, looking at you with kind yet concerned eyes as he inquired, “why were you sleeping in the pantry?”

it took you a moment to try and remember but once you did, you blurted out, “oh, berry was having trouble sleeping.” yes your cat is called berry. don’t question it. her full name is strawberry tsukishima shortcake. “so i cuddled with her in her favourite sleeping spot and she slept like a baby. but i guess i did too.” yo chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck. 

tsukishima mentally cursed you out as he was expecting a silly explanation but shit that’s cute. why does he lowkey want to join y’all next time?

hitoka yachi

♡ gsrbtrhryh she gets so flustered and nervous when you fall asleep with her

♡ and she always does tbh bc she has no idea what to do 

♡ like she thinks you look so precious and angelic so she really wants to take a picture and - if she thinks you’d be okay with it - she clicks a photo and probably sets it as her background or posts it on her private story

♡ she is just so head over heels for you tbh that everything you do just astounds her 

♡ she just stares at you like ◉_◉ for half an hour bc you are so beautiful then something inside her just prompts her to lean in and just *mwah* and at first she is quite satisfied bc she has expressed her affection 

♡ but then a few seconds later her soul just leaves her body and guilt just washes over her 

♡  ‘OMG I JUST ASSULTED MY OWN S/O’

♡ she feels horrible 

♡ this close 👌 to calling the police on herself

♡ when you wake up, prepare to be bombarded with her apologies 

♡ once you reassure that it’d fine bc it was just a lil peck on the cheek and she is your girlfriend after all, it brings her the slightest peace of mind

♡ so you peck her cheek while she is asleep to call it evens and that basically fixes it 

♡ but anyway, she is so careful around you when you sleep - like she will literally do the most just to ensure that she doesn’t interrupt your REM sleep

♡ however, that can lead to extremely sticky situations - like the first time you ever fell asleep around her 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

You were on the 5th movie of your barbie movie marathon when she looked over and noticed you had fallen asleep half way through, so she immediately paused it so the noise wouldn’t wake you up. This was the first time she had ever seen you sleep and she felt somewhat flattered that you felt safe enough around her to be vulnerable - even though, yachi never really considered herself to be a rather daunting or intimidating person.

she couldn’t help but just sit and admire you for a few minutes before realising that she should probably transport you to somewhere more comfortable as you were currently sitting next to her on the pink beanbag in her room. and although  it was kinda comfy, the preferable alternative - her bed - was only a few feet away.

so she knew what she had to do.

she hopped to her feet and before she did anything too hasty, she stretched to ensure that she wouldn’t pull a muscle while doing what she was about to try. she inhaled deeply before crouching down - instead of bending over as she remembered what coach ukai had told her, ‘lift with your legs!’ - then snaking her arms under your torso and knees.

then, she sprung back up and immediately rushed over to the bed as even though you weren’t too heavy, she was afraid that if she held you for too long, you’d wake up. so once she reach the foot of her bed, she tossed you on so your neck was being supported by her soft pillow and yanked her duvet over you. 

she gazed lovingly down at your cozy figure laying on her bed and she couldn’t help but smile.

[newssplashy]

Entertainment: Latte art begone! Here come the bold freaks of Instagram

Hannah Rose Dalton recently posted an image to Instagram of herself in a pink outfit. But this wasn’t some Barbie princess fantasy.

A design resembling barbed wire or lightning bolts ran from her cheek along the side of her bald, conical head; there was a smooth patch where her nose should be, and her eyes were a blank sea of putrid yellow. The caption read, “Gurl bye.”

In another post, Dalton stands alongside Steven Raj Bhaskaran, her partner in life and business, who wears a white buttoned shirt and leather harness over a black asymmetric skirt and towering black platform boots.

From his mouth hangs a long black appendage, like a swollen tongue or overgrown tail. Two stringy black locks of hair dangle from the sides of his head.

Together Bhaskaran and Dalton post under the name Fecal Matter, broadcasting their unnerving interpretation of beauty to almost 300,000 followers. Taking up to five hours to assemble, it’s a vision influenced heavily by horror films, Japanese manga cartoons and science fiction: a stark departure from the typical Insta-fare of designer clothes and beauty products.

“We’re not trying to be an influencer,” Bhaskaran, 24, said during a recent phone call from London. “We’re not trying to follow the rules. The rules were not made for us. Instead of trying to reach a standard that’s not going to happen, we want to have fun and create what we want to create.”

Tired of banal and homogeneous standards of beauty, some social-media users have begun exploring aesthetic territory once thought of as underground, alternative or even ominous, and they’re exposing it to the mainstream.

“Looking at what we’re afraid of, that fuels what we do,” said Dalton, 23. She and Bhaskaran design accessories and apparel, which is sold on the e-commerce platform Depop.

But “we’re not going into it, like, ‘What’s dark? What’s scary? What’s going to shock society?'” she said. “Society looks upon your fears and your vulnerabilities, the negative side of your mind, as something that’s bad. We’re trying to make our fears into something positive and beautiful.”

Accounts like Salvia, Hungry and Aunt Petunias Friendz are also marrying the macabre and the glamorous. They have antecedents in the work of Alexander McQueen, 1990s club kids, Cindy Sherman (currently posting eerie self-portraits on her own Instagram account) and Lady Gaga.

Salvia, the Instagram persona of Lilith Morris, a 17-year-old who lives in Wales, is ethereal and scary, like a fairy possessed by a demon. “My look is inspired by science fiction and drag, I find inspiration in so many places,” Morris wrote in an email. “Recently I have been feeling very inspired by tarot cards and the women depicted in Pre-Raphaelite art.”

Her posts can recall the familiar hyperfemininity of Amanda Lepore, the downtown transgender night life fixture, or be more shocking, featuring animalistic and extraterrestrial imagery.

Theresa Yee, the senior beauty editor at the global trend forecasting firm WGSN, said that “this otherworldly aesthetic comes from the rise in the spiritual and mystical beauty trend that’s so current right now.”

Last fall, Yee and her team named a strain of the trend “Dark Wonder,” highlighting the “overlap between reality and virtual reality coming to the fore and inspiring beauty looks that are experimental, futuristic and with a sci-fi twist.”

As artificial intelligence and automation threaten the job market, is it so strange that some would like to dress up as robots? With the looming threat of ecological disaster, what’s the harm in using makeup to explore life as a post-human mutant?

And why be so negative? Maybe accounts like Salvia and Fecal Matter are in fact heralding an imagined, idealized future of pan-gender, post-racial identity.

“Beauty was very narrowly defined for a very long time,” said Sarah Brown, an editor and a consultant who was the longtime beauty director of Vogue. “It was a type of person, it was a type of look. I’m talking about beauty, race, body, everything.” Now, she said, “I think we’re at this incredible moment where people feel comfortable enough to express themselves. They’re being accepted and celebrated for what their idea of beauty is.”

While the images may be off-putting to some, they also require an impressive technical virtuosity. “The level of artistry is just off the charts,” Brown said. She was accustomed to seeing that level from elite makeup artists, like Pat McGrath, she said, but “not used to seeing that from an average, aspiring person. I’m just amazed by what people are able to do, the prosthetics and the theatrics and how dramatic it all is.”

Bhaskaran and Dalton stress that this extreme form of dressing isn’t a way to get attention — which, when they get it, is often negative, they point out.

“Our whole lives, we didn’t look the way we look right now,” Bhaskaran said. “We had eyebrows, we had hair, we wore flats. For us specifically, the way were are living right now has been the way we always wanted to live.”

This article originally appeared in The New York Times.

Max Berlinger © 2018 The New York Times

source http://www.newssplashy.com/2018/08/entertainment-latte-art-begone-here_12.html

[newssplashy]

Hannah Rose Dalton recently posted an image to Instagram of herself in a pink outfit. But this wasn’t some Barbie princess fantasy.

A design resembling barbed wire or lightning bolts ran from her cheek along the side of her bald, conical head; there was a smooth patch where her nose should be, and her eyes were a blank sea of putrid yellow. The caption read, “Gurl bye.”

In another post, Dalton stands alongside Steven Raj Bhaskaran, her partner in life and business, who wears a white buttoned shirt and leather harness over a black asymmetric skirt and towering black platform boots.

From his mouth hangs a long black appendage, like a swollen tongue or overgrown tail. Two stringy black locks of hair dangle from the sides of his head.

Together Bhaskaran and Dalton post under the name Fecal Matter, broadcasting their unnerving interpretation of beauty to almost 300,000 followers. Taking up to five hours to assemble, it’s a vision influenced heavily by horror films, Japanese manga cartoons and science fiction: a stark departure from the typical Insta-fare of designer clothes and beauty products.

“We’re not trying to be an influencer,” Bhaskaran, 24, said during a recent phone call from London. “We’re not trying to follow the rules. The rules were not made for us. Instead of trying to reach a standard that’s not going to happen, we want to have fun and create what we want to create.”

Tired of banal and homogeneous standards of beauty, some social-media users have begun exploring aesthetic territory once thought of as underground, alternative or even ominous, and they’re exposing it to the mainstream.

“Looking at what we’re afraid of, that fuels what we do,” said Dalton, 23. She and Bhaskaran design accessories and apparel, which is sold on the e-commerce platform Depop.

But “we’re not going into it, like, ‘What’s dark? What’s scary? What’s going to shock society?'” she said. “Society looks upon your fears and your vulnerabilities, the negative side of your mind, as something that’s bad. We’re trying to make our fears into something positive and beautiful.”

Accounts like Salvia, Hungry and Aunt Petunias Friendz are also marrying the macabre and the glamorous. They have antecedents in the work of Alexander McQueen, 1990s club kids, Cindy Sherman (currently posting eerie self-portraits on her own Instagram account) and Lady Gaga.

Salvia, the Instagram persona of Lilith Morris, a 17-year-old who lives in Wales, is ethereal and scary, like a fairy possessed by a demon. “My look is inspired by science fiction and drag, I find inspiration in so many places,” Morris wrote in an email. “Recently I have been feeling very inspired by tarot cards and the women depicted in Pre-Raphaelite art.”

Her posts can recall the familiar hyperfemininity of Amanda Lepore, the downtown transgender night life fixture, or be more shocking, featuring animalistic and extraterrestrial imagery.

Theresa Yee, the senior beauty editor at the global trend forecasting firm WGSN, said that “this otherworldly aesthetic comes from the rise in the spiritual and mystical beauty trend that’s so current right now.”

Last fall, Yee and her team named a strain of the trend “Dark Wonder,” highlighting the “overlap between reality and virtual reality coming to the fore and inspiring beauty looks that are experimental, futuristic and with a sci-fi twist.”

As artificial intelligence and automation threaten the job market, is it so strange that some would like to dress up as robots? With the looming threat of ecological disaster, what’s the harm in using makeup to explore life as a post-human mutant?

And why be so negative? Maybe accounts like Salvia and Fecal Matter are in fact heralding an imagined, idealized future of pan-gender, post-racial identity.

“Beauty was very narrowly defined for a very long time,” said Sarah Brown, an editor and a consultant who was the longtime beauty director of Vogue. “It was a type of person, it was a type of look. I’m talking about beauty, race, body, everything.” Now, she said, “I think we’re at this incredible moment where people feel comfortable enough to express themselves. They’re being accepted and celebrated for what their idea of beauty is.”

While the images may be off-putting to some, they also require an impressive technical virtuosity. “The level of artistry is just off the charts,” Brown said. She was accustomed to seeing that level from elite makeup artists, like Pat McGrath, she said, but “not used to seeing that from an average, aspiring person. I’m just amazed by what people are able to do, the prosthetics and the theatrics and how dramatic it all is.”

Bhaskaran and Dalton stress that this extreme form of dressing isn’t a way to get attention — which, when they get it, is often negative, they point out.

“Our whole lives, we didn’t look the way we look right now,” Bhaskaran said. “We had eyebrows, we had hair, we wore flats. For us specifically, the way were are living right now has been the way we always wanted to live.”

This article originally appeared in The New York Times.

Max Berlinger © 2018 The New York Times

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