#alternatively that person was just smug as all hell that they hate something popular which bugs the living hell outta me anyway

[david-watts]

really interesting how some people on this site, who seemingly are the type to be smug about the fact they have no trouble with critical thinking skills too, will take their opinion on something subjective and pretend it's objective fact. what's the definition of subjective again

[words-writ-in-starlight]

also hey tell me about damarian courting rituals, I am intrigued

A long time ago I made this post and it had this comment from @amusewithaview:

Um hi yes please give me ALL OF YOUR DAMATIAN COURTSHIP HEADCANONS.

Please tell me about ALL OF THE MULTITUDE OF STEPS that Corlath either skipped or did out of order. Please tell me about all of the unsubtle commentary and mostly irrelevant advice ‘gifted’ to him by his Riders. Please tell me all about his inherited Riders telling the younger crop ALL ABOUT his father’s exploits and comparing the two.

So what I am saying is: let’s talk about Damarian courtship.

We know that gift giving is, and has been, a big thing in Damar ever since Aerin’s day, and we know that giving gifts in an attempt to convey interest was a thing at the time (Tor, poor beautiful Tor who keeps trying to convey his affection to a sol too enamored of dragon slaying to realize, she figures it out eventually), so like.

Gifts.

Damarian courtship is BIG into gifts, but it’s a desert, so normally these are things like services.  Food is also popular.  You start with a few small gifts or helpful actions, things that could be brushed aside as friendly solicitousness, and then once you’ve gotten up the necessary courage and sussed out that this person probably does not hate you, you pull out all the fucking stops and Go Big Or Go Home.  

Now, the key here is that the gift is theirs to keep regardless of what they say.  The gift is theirs.  You gave it to them because you’re generous and trying to prove a point about how much you care.  The gift is also a contract--they have to be nice if they let you down, and you have to be civil about taking the disappointment.  The gift is a big shrieking neon sign that says “don’t be an asshole” to all parties.

But so anyway, you’ve plucked up your courage and now you’re gonna give them the Dopest Present You Can Find, along with a statement of intent.  Generally there’s an exchange of gift giving up to this point, and sometimes if people are already aware of what’s up, you and your potential honey kind of race to reach the Big Gift first.  But regardless.  You give them an elaborately embroidered robe that you stitched with your own hands while you tried not to go insane from being cooped up during the rains.  You give them a saddle blanket woven out of bright red and white to make their horse look like a living flame.  You give them the best and nicest sword you’ve ever seen.  You make them an elaborate four-course meal with all of their favorite foods and serve it to them personally and eat with them and give them your best wine.

Or, if you’re really hardcore and very sure of yourself, or alternatively extremely rich and incredibly intense, you give them the most important thing Damar has going for it at any given time.

You know.

A horse.

A whole entire war horse, hand-selected to suit their temperament and match their visions of the future.

Plus tack.

Now...this is where Corlath gets into trouble, you see.

Because he has this girl in his tent.  And he’s already been giving her a lot of things--robes and food and being waited on hand and foot by his own hafor.  All of that is not helping his Riders’ opinion that the kelar is trying to get their king laid, because it looks like he’s trying to woo this girl even though--well, she needs clothes that suit the desert, not some six-layered cake of a nightgown, and she’s obviously got to eat, and she’s been kidnapped by people she can’t even talk to.  He’s trying to make her feel at ease.

Normally, no one except the royal family gets this kind of treatment from the hafor, so by the strictest traditions Corlath may have slightly declared her his fiancee, but it was with the PUREST intentions.

But so, he concludes, the girl has to be trained as a warrior, and therefore she needs a horse and a sword and a teacher.  The teacher and the sword he can justify as her nominal lord, but the horse is dicier--she’s not technically his subordinate, and he’s not adopting her, which would be the other two circumstances where it would be socially acceptable to give someone a horse.  

To hell with it, though, he’s the king and she needs a horse so he gives her a horse.  He sells this lie to himself with extraordinary success, but not so much to anyone else.

“That’s a beautiful animal, sola,” Faran says very neutrally, watching the Outlander girl as Tsornin more or less flirts with her.

“Yes,” Corlath says through his teeth.

“The best in our herd, probably, excepting yours.”

“She needs a horse,” Corlath repeats for the fifth time in an hour.

“Mmmhm,” Faran says, and arches an eyebrow very slowly at his king.  Corlath resolutely does not blush, because he’s a king and he made a completely reasonable and legitimate gift based on the needs of someone who could help his country.

And then, of course, Harry up and leaves for six weeks to train with Mathin and the entire camp kind of observes Corlath while he Refuses To Pine and goes “Yeah, okay, sola, a totally logical gift, we believe you.”

So when Harry comes back to the City, triumphant, literally no one is surprised when he gives her the blue stone garden.  It was his father’s gift to his mother when they got married, so obviously Corlath will want to give Harimad something equally dramatic when they get married and this is just...the Damarian equivalent of a DTR talk.  

Corlath knows what he’s doing with this one, and feels kind of guilty.  The Outlander--Harimad clearly doesn’t know what the gift means, and it’s unfair of him to expect anything from her (he did kidnap her), and even more unfair of him to be disappointed when she doesn’t reciprocate the gift giving as the social structures dictate, because of all the things Mathin taught her, courting rituals probably weren’t among them.

But he does still give her the room.

Gonturan doesn’t count as a gift because Gonturan would be mortally offended to be pawned off as a possession, and Corlath knows it, and also Harry is now a soldier in the king’s army and can receive a sword from his hands without any baggage.  But the room and the horse and more robes and more meals that Corlath quietly edits to remove foods Harry doesn’t like...can you blame people for whispering?

And then she disappears during the army’s march and their king is wearing her sash.

By the time they actually get married, Harry has sussed out that the majority of the population believes they’ve been engaged since she arrived in Damar, largely because Innath finally took pity on her.  

She goes to an enormous amount of trouble to buy Corlath a hand-worked leather breastplate for Fireheart on rush order, complete with the royal crest worked in red to flatter the bay’s coloring, and shows up with it in hand and a smug look on her face as she shoves it at him.

“This is for you,” Harry says, triumphant.  “I would be extremely honored if you would marry me.”

Corlath blinks at her.  “Hari, love, we’re getting married in a week, everything is already planned.  But the breastplate is very nice,” he admits.

Harry’s grin widens.  “Ah, but it’s not really polite to do half your wooing when your target doesn’t even know what’s happening.  I have to admit that I don’t actually know the proper forms for how this should go, though.  So.”  She gestures to the breastplate and says, “Will you please marry me, Corlath-sola?”

Corlath is laughing when he kisses her.

[evakfanficsrecs]

Hey sweeties! Do you know fics in which Even hates Isak or Isak hates Even and they slowly fall in love with each other?

Hello, love!

Listen, I was about to link you to our Hate to Love!au tag, but then I realized that we haven’t actually done a proper rec list of those for months??? So saddle up, lovely, because this has been a long overdue and it’s bound to get pretty long! ;)

*

ONESHOTS:

thought i had you in the palm of my hand that night by hippopotamusSummary: They’re roommates, and they don’t get on at all. Until they do, at which point Even decides to develop a useless crush. 

I call'em as I see'em…But Sometimes I Don’t See So Well by HazyCosmicJiveSummary: Isak just wants to study, he doesn’t want a new roommate who walks around naked all the time and constantly tests his patience. 

just a silly phase by thekardemommeSummary: Isak and Even don’t like each other. (Also: Isak and Even play 7 Minutes in Heaven.) Time heals all wounds.

CHAPTERED: 

You Don’t Even Know Me! by cuteandtwisted Summary: “Let’s keep our daddy issues out of work,“ said Even. “Excuse me?!” Or: The one in which Isak and Even are interns who start on the wrong foot and don’t like each other at all (except that they do). 

take me to the stars by iriswestsSummary: Isak thinks Even is pretentious and impractical. Even thinks Isak is arrogant and uptight. They’re not each other’s biggest fans, even if they do happen to have spectacular sex on a very, very drunken night. And Isak doesn’t mean to do it again, but he does, anyway, so now they’re establishing ground rules and deciding that maybe they can keep doing this, no strings attached, no commitments, no feelings, and, most importantly, no need to stop disliking each other.And then it’s not quite that simple anymore. 

The Notion of Falling by smokeshop Summary: Isak hates Even and Even hates Isak and Sana is the only one who knows why.

Come On, Set the Tone by boxesofflowers & EeyoreneedsahugSummary: Isak is a recently out popstar who wants to prove that he is not just another pretty face in pop music and has the skills to make his own way in the musical world (just like his newly found idol, Even Bech Naesheim). Even is a self contained, indie singer songwriter who takes shit from nobody - anyone in his cult following will tell you (including a certain popstar). Shortly after a public feud between the two begins, they’re forced together for a nationwide tour. 9 weeks, 50 shows, and countless hours (together) on the tour bus leave Even writing cryptic love songs and Isak wondering if he should leave everything he knows behind. Ft. BL!SS, Balloon Squad, Wireless Problems, Jonas, and the Wobbles

Not in the stars to hold our destiny by Stria (Asia117)Summary: “What the fuck,” Even murmurs, and Isak almost wants to mock him, but he refrains. He’s not 16 anymore. “Everything okay, Isak?” “Peachy.” Isak doesn’t look at him. “Go find someone else to talk to.” Miss him with that shit. “Wow, what the fuck. Get off your high horse.” Even sounds irritated, too. Good. Isak just snorts. “When you’ll take off that stick from your ass,” he hisses, and then goes up to Mikha. He doesn’t need to make a scene in front of everyone. (Or, the one in which Even and Isak can’t stand each other, but they still end up together eventually.)

in the morning you’ll dance with all the headache by bluesterekSummary: “Why do you hate me? Is it still about that kiss in first grade?” “You kissed my crush in front of me, Even.” “Yeah well, sorry about that, but that was like a century ago. Besides, you don’t even like girls.” “Excuse me, what?”. Or, Isak hates Even. Even hates Isak. But fortunately, Sana is going to make everything work.

Not Everything Is About You by HazyCosmicJiveSummary: Isak hates his neighbor. He’s loud, he’s inconsiderate, and he’s loud. When he finally gets a well deserved break from his obnoxious neighbor, somehow the asshole ends up flooding his entire apartment. He doesn’t want to do it, but with nowhere else to go he ends up taking the guy’s offer up and staying with him until his apartment is useable again.

If You Don’t Love Me, Don’t Tell Me by quickwitlipsSummary: Even’s two sided personality is what drives Isak’s hatred towards him. An asshole frat boy at night while he parties, then a top student by day who charms everyone with his bright smile. Except, Isak doesn’t believe that Even has any good intentions.

Not A Chance by bashfulisakSummary: Isak and Even don’t know much about each other - but while in the cafeteria, they can’t keep their eyes off each other and eventually they can’t keep their hands off, either.

helium hearts (we’re on fire) by itjustkindahappenedSummary: 10 Things I Hate About You!AU. Eva enrolls at Hartvig Nissens VGS in Oslo and falls headfirst for the popular and pretty Vilde Lien. Vilde, however, is not allowed to date until Isak—her sarcastic, misantropic introvert of a step brother—does. Together with her new group of friends, Eva comes up with a plan to set Isak up with the school’s rumor-ridden bad boy Even Bech Næsheim so she can take her crush out. Featuring stargazing, parties, and endless pining.

Crystal Dust by LiolnySummary: “Right. Some advice for the future -” His eyes were glinting with something that could almost be described as playfulness but nonetheless screamed mystery. “Since I’m assuming you’re not some kind of MARVEL character” he paused “- looking through my head to see that clock,” he continued, pointing a thump over his shoulder, “is probably not gonna happen. I’m also sure your MacBook is more than capable of informing you about the time.” Isak was startled to say the least. He also just so happened to be the last person to be mocked by anybody, no less some arrogant prick, who thought he could just be smug in Isak’s face without consequences. Or: Even Bech Næsheim is a mystery and apparently there is no way in hell that he could be Isak’s soulmate.

Caught in the Crossfire by CrochetingWordsSummary: AU where Isak and Sana are police officers and partners working for the Oslo police department. Even used to work for the Oslo police department and is now Oslo’s most well known private detective who assists the department in cases while documenting them on his blog. Isak is not impressed with the famous good looking detective is already at the crime scene he was called out to…

blue and green wrapped in gold by beanievaltersenSummary: “You know, that blush really suits you"Isak choked on air, ducking his head down a little, his entire face feeling like it was on fire.“Shut up!” Isak said, daring to sneak a glance back up at Even.He was grinning. Of course he was. Fuck you. Or, a hate to love uni!AU with 19 year old Isak and 21 year old Even.

Breathe Me Gently by i_once_wrote_a_dreamSummary: Isak Valtersen. He doesn’t like him. He just doesn’t. The kid has everything too easy. Good grades. Good friends. Probably has parents that love him. Even fucking hates him. Alternatively, a Being 17 au.

If You Don’t Love Me, Don’t Tell Me by quickwitlipsSummary: Even’s two sided personality is what drives Isak’s hatred towards him. An asshole frat boy at night while he parties, then a top student by day who charms everyone with his bright smile. Except, Isak doesn’t believe that Even has any good intentions.

–A