#although I have a couple text based ask prompts in my old drafts and I might just skip those

[12chumtoadsinatrenchcoat]

.

[paladinsheadcanons]

Prompt: Sha lin finds a deep rooted fear of Kinessa's, what happens from there?

It took me a couple of days to think of this one, but I think it’s pretty realistic. I like how this one turned out. - Mod Mal’Damba

Kinessa had been acting weird for a few days. Since she didn’t often show her face around base anyway few noticed, but Sha Lin caught on real quickly that something was up. Initially he just assumed it was a minor issue, but when she didn’t return to her usual self after more than half a week he decided to ask her about it.

It almost seemed like she had fallen into a permanent state of exhaustion. Already she had written herself off from battles for the last few days, finding replacements while she remained in the bedroom, although she was never sleeping. She endlessly flipped through the same little photo album containing her few personal pictures of her life before being a Paladin, going over the same few pictures over and over again.

That day Sha Lin took the opportunity of not having been drafted to ask her what was up. He found her exactly where he expected, on her bed, staring blankly at the photo album, her eyes not really seeing anything. In her other hand she loosely held a red marker. It was his room too so he didn’t really need to knock at all, but he did so anyway so he didn’t scare her.

She didn’t acknowledge his presence, eyes still locked on the photo album, but glazed over. It hurt Sha Lin so much to see her like this. “Hey,” he greeted, slowly approaching in case she didn’t notice him the first time. She slowly dragged her eyes away from the photo album, watching him like a wary deer in the face of a potential predator. When she didn’t move, he sat down next to her. “Are you... okay? You’ve been acting strange the last few days.”

She didn’t say anything, her eyes drifting down to the photo album in her lap. Sha Lin figured it would contain some hint as to what this was about. He reached out for it, gently playing the tip of his fingers on it. “May I?” She slowly nodded, her grip on it loosening as he drew it away from her. He looked back up at her from time to time to make sure she didn’t suddenly change her mind, flipping through the small pocket album.

Inside were pictures of who he presumed were her family and other important figures in her life. Her parents, her old friends, just casual pictures of her life before being a Paladins. Late night rides, selfies with her friends, pictures of her celebrating her birthday with her parents, all the usual things one would keep in a personal album. Nothing struck the Desert Wind as odd yet. As he flipped further he began to notice more and more photos and their faces were struck out in red, scribbled over hastily so that they were no longer recognisable. Pictures of her parents and friends were all marred in red. Almost every photo he found towards the middle of the book had faces blocked out in red, accompanied by text in the same jarring, bright ink with dates. As he flipped more, he began to find less pictures of them and more pictures of him and her together. The red ink seemed to vanish as well.

It took him awhile and a few flips through the album over and over again to piece together everything until he realised that everyone scribbled out had died, and the dates were when they did. Slowly, he closed the album and set it aside. “What happened to them?” He asked.

Kinessa couldn’t look at him. “They came,” she mumbled, barely audible. “They came looking for me.... and when they couldn’t find me they took everyone instead.” Her breath hitched in her throat and she shuddered, hiding her face away.

Someone hurt Kinessa in the past, and that was something Sha Lin was not going to let go. He frowned. “Who’s ‘they’? Just give me a name, and I’ll kill them.”

The Headhunter began to wildly shake her head. “No no no no no no, if they know who you are they’ll get you too. I can’t- I can’t-” She choked on her own words, unable to stand the idea of losing one more person. The grip on the red marker tightened so much her knuckles went white, her whole body shaking while she tried to calm herself down. “They took everyone. How- how long is it going to be until they take you too?” When she managed to look up, Sha Lin noticed that her eyes were wild with fear. “It’s only a matter of time before they find out where we are.”

She took a few heavy breaths, the numbing silence in her mind falling away as words and thoughts crashed endlessly. “That’s why I never formed relationships. That’s why I became a recluse. After becoming a Paladin I thought I could maintain a distance away from everyone and never let anyone matter to me anymore so I’d never have to feel that same hurt ever again. But you showed up. And I tried to keep my promise to myself,” she laughed painfully, tears falling onto the bed below, “but you were just so goddamn irresistible. I made a promise to myself but I broke it. Any time I ever loved someone, they disappeared eventually. How long until it’s you? How long until they come for you, just to get me? Every day I’m scared you’ll disappear too.”

Sha Lin waited patiently until she was finished ranting before he leaned forward, gently loosening her grip on the marker and putting it aside with the photo album as well. Some bad memories had been dug up for her and there was no way to bring back the people who left her before. “Hey, hey. It’s okay Kinessa. I know I can’t fix the past but I promise you you will never have to use that marker again, okay? All those photos of us? They’re going to stay the way they are. Whoever they are, they’re never going to come here. I promise that.” 

Slowly Kinessa leaned forward, her body relaxing as she leaned against Sha Lin. He gently reached around her and held her loosely, eyeing the red marker off to the side. He was going to throw that thing away later.